In the Dark
by Rin Blake
Summary: Au, renamed- Growing up during the First Wizarding War defined a generation. But mostly it meant that every single one of them was damned.
1. Where the Heart Lies

**Part One The Spark**

_Hope is a fire; it is born from a spark_

* * *

**Chapter One Where the Heart Lies**

**(Bennie and the Jets)**

* * *

Her memories of England were nostalgic memories wrapped in the warm embrace of childhood. She could remember the gentle beating of the ever-present rain. She could hear the dulcet notes of children playing. She could feel the gentle kiss of family.

She hadn't thought of England in a longtime. Her dreams contained desolate memories of her childhood, yet they never contained the homely memories of England.

When she first came to the picturesque countryside of southern France, memories of England exploded behind her eyelids. She could see the elegant manor house that she once called home. She could feel caress her childhood. She could feel the lies of her childhood piercing her heart.

With time, these memories seemed to fade to only distant dreams. With time she was able to grab hold of the sharp blade of her loss embedded in her chest and pull it out. With time she was able to heal.

Soon, her reminiscences disappeared into sweet nothings of a time long forgotten. She was able to live a life without her blood haunting her.

She never fully understood her family's view on blood. Why was the blood of her parents and ancestors holy in comparison to the blood of those not kissed magic? Yes she was a witch. Lily Marie Gastor was a witch. Magic raced through her veins and soared into her mind. She descended from the purest of purebloods. And that brought her revulsion.

Her father could trace his heritage all the way back to Merlin, the most affable wizard of all. Her father had gone to Greece to study ancient spells. There he had met her mother, the rose to the garden of purebloods. Her mother could trace her family tree back to Circe, the most powerful witch of ancient Greece.

Her parents' story was thought to be one of the most romantic tales of pureblood love; the dashing Englishman who whisked away the Grecian princess to a happily ever after. Yet to her it was just a sordid attempt to keep the pureblood line running.

It had been years since she had even thought of her parents. It had been months since the faces of her brothers haunted her sleep. Yet today of all days, her mind led her to think of her lost family.

Lily was standing in her bedroom at Auclair Manor. The Auclairs were an old, French pureblood family that held some relations to the Rosiers of England. Mousier Auclair, Darcy, had been Lily's father's closest companion, attending Hogwarts with pureblood connections, until a misfortune severed the two brothers.

William Gastor had always been a stubborn man. Even when he banished his only daughter he did so with the grace of a mule. He sent her to the one man who would always owe him, Darcy Auclair. He knew that his fallen brother would protect his daughter. Darcy Auclair had married a schoolmate of the two boys, Rosaline Whitewood. They had one child, a son of whom was one of Lily's closest friends in her exile.

"Lils an owl arrived for my father. It had the Gastor crest on it. He said for you to join him in the study in 20 minutes," stated the nonchalant Benedict Auclair. Benedict Darcy Auclair, or Benjy as Lily had called him since youth, was a dark free soul. He had dark chestnut hair that was cropped close to his face. After years of Quidditch for the school team, his gangly body turned into one of a man. This was clear to Lily, as she curiously eyed his frame. He was draped upon the doorframe of Lily's room, and soon ambled to her bed. Benjy had the build of Adonis, with an aristocrat nose that led to his sculpture worthy lips. His eyebrows were perfect crescents, and his high cheekbones emphasized his beauty. His expressive blue eyes, a family trait of the Auclairs, revealed his every thought, as he lay on her covers.

Lily had known him since the time that both had worn nappies across large grassy yards of English manors,a time before his parents moved to the lovely hills of southern France. When Lily's brothers had abandoned her for a pick up game of Quidditch, Benjy stood by her side. He was there to see her fall from the graces of high society, and to pick her up from the remains of her demise.

She had attended Beauxabatons with him for the last two of her years of magical learning. Before attending Beauxabatons, Lily's parents had requested her to attend a school for wizardry in the heart of Athens. It was the school that her mother attended. It was there, Lily lost her childhood, and it was there she fell.

After her descend from grace, her parent uprooted her from the dulcet villa of her grandparents and sent her straight to France. Unlike when she attended the Athenian School for Sorcery, her parents did not ask for her to return home during holidays. This broke her heart.

Lily spent months hoping and praying for a letter of welcome, even one with just news of her family. Yet as those moths turned to years, she gave up hope. Benjy had been there to hold her as she cried the last time for her family. He was her darling, and she his angel.

"Lils did you even hear me," Benjy questioned. He sat on her bed in all of his godly glory. Benjy quirked one of his eyebrows at her in curiosity. Lily blushed and turned from her window. She stared at the endless expanse of snow, daydreaming of lost memories and the fallen.

"No, I'm sorry, I just feel a bit lost. I've had nightmares lately. But don't worry Benjy; I'm sure it was just the alien walls of my dormitory. Now that we are back from Beauxabatons, I'm sure I will be better," Lily confessed. But she was lying.

Since before the time of her banishment, she was by nightmares. Ones filled with the gruesome demise of her loved ones, others filled with horrific scenes of death and fatality. When she lived back at Gastor Manor, her brothers would hear her screams of pain, as their rooms were close to each other, and run to the rescue. Each would take turns for waking her and comforting her, until Morpheus claimed her again.

Her parents always knew to look in her room first if a brother was missing at morning. They often found said brother sleeping in Lily's bed. Yet this nightly ritual ended when she was first banished to Greece.

Her brothers would still speak to her and write to her. But that ended with her second and final banishment to France. Now, she could hardly remember their faces.

Lily hoped that Benjy didn't look closely at her. With the assistance of make up, she was able to cover the large bruises under her eyes to some extent. But after an entire day of travel, the powder must have faded.

" Lils you know you can always talk to me," Benjy admitted. His eyes met hers and she saw the honesty in them.

"Benjy, of course I know that. And you can talk to me too," she answered. His face relaxed a bit and his usual jovial nature returned.

" Lils, we need to leave now. Its been 20 minutes and it is not best to keep Mousier temperance waiting," Benjy stated. Lily blushed at the mention of her childhood nickname for Darcy Auclair.

"Benjy! You said you wouldn't bring that up," Lily screeched. Benjy only laughed at her embarrassment. He grabbed her hand and tugged her out of her room laughing.

" I didn't make any promises Lils," Benjy admitted. His fingers ran across her palms in a platonic way.

Unlike, Lily, Benjy had maintained a healthy relationship with her family. He was invited to spend the summers with them but declined, only for his parents to force him to go. Lily's summers were often spent with her grandmother. Yet, after the untimely death of her grandfather, the event that had preceded her fall, Lily was no longer allowed to enter the villa that had been her home. After being banished to France, Lily began to spend her summers going to work with Mr. Auclair.

Mr. Auclair worked as the head of the department of Magical Law enforcement at the French ministry of Magic. Lily had spent her last summer running through the antechamber of the ministry doing small tasks for the Auror department. That was until last year, during the attack on the ministry.

In England, pureblood were shallow pompous people. They believed in blood purity. A man by the name of Tom Riddle took the name Lord Voldemort and began his campaign to wipe out all impure blood in England. He led the death eaters, who were the most enthusiastic of his supporters. Her parents supported the beliefs of the death eaters with a reverence, much to her disgust.

While the blood mania had swept across main island of England for almost a decade, it had yet to reach France, until the attack on the French ministry last summer.

Lily had been present at the darkest moment in French history. Unlike the English aurors, the French aurors had not been trained to fight the forces of the death eaters. When the death eaters infiltrated the ministry with ease, the people of France were shocked. No one was ready for the disaster that had occurred that day, including a fourteen-year-old Lily. Thinking of the day made her nauseous and she began to see spots, before a blinding white light sent her into oblivion.

* * *

_Flashback_

Lily could remember the antechamber of the French ministry that day. The high glass roof that gave an amazing view to the clear sky of a Parisian midday. She stood in the middle of the chamber looking at all the figures around her.

Robed wizard and witches hustled thought the large room, each on their own mission. They skirted around the large statue in the center of the room. The statue contained a wizard and witch crossing wands, surrounded by magical creatures like Veela and Satyrs. On all sides of the room were floo stations and elevators to different floors of the ministry. After three years of spending her summers here, she had a strong sense of familiarity, and even comfort in the ministry.

She had been sent by the head of the Auror department, Mousier Debargue on a top secret mission; retrieving a box of Chinese take out for the tired aurors. Lily could remember her excitement to do so. The task may have seemed diminutive, but it came with a great reward.

The previous two years were Lily had assisted in the Department of Mysteries at the request of her professors at Beauxabatons. She had spent hours a day as a scribe writing nonsensical notes for the head of the prophecy room for her first year.

The second year however, the ministry had decided to use her family linage to their advancement. She was stationed in the Library of the Ministry, writing the family trees for the English and Greek purebloods. After her completion of doing so, the French Ministry boasted of having the largest and most accurate pureblood family tree. Lily found this revolting and almost refused to return for the third year until she found out what she would be doing.

At the recommendation of the headmistress of Beauxabatons, Lily was skyrocketed to her dream job, the Auror department. After her banishment, Lily vowed one thing, to protect the muggles and muggleborns being victimized by Voldemort. When offered the chance to work with the esteemed French aurors, Lily leaped at it.

For the first weeks, she was sent to retrieve lunch for the hardworking aurors, and she did so eagerly. But this did not satisfy her. She yearned to practice spells and learn to defend others from danger, and to Mousier Debargue this was clear. He gave her an option. In exchange for retrieving his lunch, he would teach her the basic of auror training.

Ever since then, Lily's life had been filled with secret lessons that made her day. Yet as the weeks past by, the growing threat of Voldemort was preoccupying Mousier Debargue. The name brought shivers to Lily's back, yet she did not hesitate to say the evil tyrant's name. There was no point in fearing something a trivial as a name. Lily broke from her chain of thoughts when a jet of black streamed in front of her face.

She looked up and saw the antechamber of the ministry crowded by robed figures. Their presence gave her shivers, as she immediately knew what they were, death eaters. But it couldn't be, death eaters were a long-lost memory of her time before her fall. Yet as one of the robed figures sent a stream of green at nearby women, she knew in her heart that they were in her salvation, destroying it.

Adrenaline coursed through her veins, as she knew what she had to do, she has to protect the unsuspecting members of the French ministry, it was her blood telling her to do so.

Lily leaped from her hidden spot behind the statue of the wizard and witch. She held her wand in one hand and bolted into the battlefield, with bravery and courage coursing through her veins.

She looked at her surroundings in shock. The death eaters had marched from floor to floor and captured all the ministry workers who had not been able to escape. Her beloved aurors lay on the floor either stunned or dead. One of the death eaters had a stunned Mousier Debargue in his hands and seemed to be threatening him. Another was shooting spell after spell at her father-like Mousier Auclair. Anger shot from her heart. How dare those pompous monsters march into her sacred ground and kill.

Before Lily knew what she was doing, she shot spell after spell at the cloaked figures. All of the death eaters turned around and looked at their besieger in surprise.

" Look at that, it's a little girl. I wonder what she's doing in the ministry," exclaimed a masked figure.

" Stopping pureblood trash like you from killing everyone," Lily shot back. The death eaters stared at her in astonishment and one finally grabbed her.

Lily screeched and squirmed like an animal. She thrashed about in the death eater's large hold. But he did not let go.

" Let go of me you foul brute," lily demanded. The other death eaters were distracted from the ministry employees, and had their attention on Lily.

Lily finally sent a sift kick at her captor's groin, causing him to fall to the ground in pain and let go of her. Lily grabbed her wand and began to shoot spell and hexes at the crowd of death eaters.

" Oi! How does this puny little girl know the bat bogey hex," said one of the death eaters. The ministry employees watched in amazement, until finally one death eater jinxed Lily. She almost fell to the ground, before a death eater grabbed her.

" Who are you? Is there some secret youth group for the bloody aurors!" questioned her captor. He shook her and his mask fell off.

Lily gasped, she knew this person. Memories long forgotten ran through her mind like fireworks. She could remember this man holding her at night until she stopped crying. She could remember the tears she shed when seeing him leave for Hogwarts. She could remember his distant embrace when she had been banished, and his cool accusatory glare when she fell from high society.

" Jules, what are you doing in that robe." She beseeched. Her heart was breaking, and cracking before her very eyes. Her captor eyed her and shook her.

" How do you know me," he demanded. Lily met his eyes, and met a pair of golden eyes, the trademark of the Gastor family.

" Jules why are you hurting me? You promised to be there for me," Lily cried. Tears streamed down her face as the man holding her remained cold. She gazed into his eyes, and he saw hers. Emerald green eyes, he knew only one girl with those eyes. A girl he had long-lost, and loved.

" Lily is that you," he questioned with realization. Lily nodded, and he kept her down and reached to embrace her. The death eaters around them stood stunned.

" No! Don't touch me! I'm not the Lily you knew! You are a monster. Julius William Gastor out of all of us, I never though you would be something so dark ad cruel. I never thought you would stand for something as vile as Lord Voldemort! Better yet, you abandoned me when I didn't. Don't try to hug me! We are not and never will be family again," Lily shouted to him.

Julius' eyes went from a warm sunshine to a fiery storm. He let go of the girl in front of him, and stood up.

" You're the traitor Lily. Don't think I can't see that Auror department label on your shirt. You left us. Do you know how mother cried for months? How father does not allow any of us to say your name. How Pericles still goes to the Quidditch pitch on your birthday every year? How Lucian cringes every time he walks by your room. How Cassius spent the first year of your betrayal writing letters to you that made even father cry as he was forced to burn them? How Jason still goes to your room every night to comfort you, but you're not there? How I lost my childhood? No you don't! Your selfishness and idiocy almost counteracts the blood running through your –" He bawled back at Lily. Death eaters and ministry employees stood watching the two.

For a while Lily stood shocked, but the last comment awoke her. Even when he tried to be a brother, it was overshadowed by his bigotry.

" Shut up! You know Julius; I'd rather be a muggleborns than suffer through memories. In fact here," Lily screamed. She yanked the necklace from my neck, and pulled a ring from it.

"Take it and leave. Tell mother to stop being such a coward. Tell father that he is a monster. Tell Pericles that he could have done more. Tell Lucian and Cassius that they were the reasons I got banished. Tell Jason that I couldn't care less about his sob story. And to you dear brother, I will tell you to grow up! You let bigotry and prejudices rip me out of your family. I give you my Gastor Family ring, and renounce myself. Good riddance," Lily finished.

Julius held the ring in his hand and stared at Lily. He opened his mouth to angrily yell something at her, but before he could he looked around him, and smirked.

"Well little sister, I shall tell you one last thing. I tell your brothers and parent your sob story. I hope you are aware that every last one of them holds the dark mark upon their arm, and bears in with pride. But know one thing; you can't renounce being a pureblood, its in your veins, and even if you are a disgusting blood traitor, the purebloods still have control over you. Farewell for now Lily," Julius coolly finished. He sent a spell at the glass pane ceiling, causing the glass to shatter; everyone bended over to cover him or herself, from the falling shards of glass. When it was deemed safe, Lily looked up and saw that Julius had disappeared. On the ground lay her ring. She picked it up and stood up.

Lily looked around her, overcome by the sight before her. While she was fighting with Julius, some of the employees awoke, including Mousier Debargue, and snuck up on the death eaters. They over powered the soldiers of Voldemort and had all the death eaters lying on the ground, paralyzed within minutes. Mousier Auclair ran to her and embraced her. He murmured words in French and barked orders to those around them. Lily stood in his embrace, pale and shocked, clutching the ring. Wizards stared at the girl in shock, whispering about a girl who was able to handle thirty rogue death eaters for over ten minutes alone. They spoke of her gift in magic and praised her.

Yet Lily was not aware. All she knew was that even if her blood had control over her, like Julius had said, she would no longer let it do so. From this day forth she was no longer a Gastor. She was a nameless girl named Lily, and for now that was okay.

_Flashback ends_

* * *

Lily broke from her trance in memory lane to find a pair of cerulean eyes staring down at her.

"Oh Merlin! Lils you scared us! You fainted when we were walking down to my father's office, and started to convulse," Benjy exclaimed. While Benjy was babbling, she was aware that someone had moved her into her room.

"That's enough son, I believe that Lily is rested now and can talk to me privately," Mousier Auclair interrupted. Benjy quirked and eyebrow curiously, but still left. Mousier Auclair never cared for illness to interrupt his day, so his disregard of lily's state of being was a norm.

He stood up and walked over to her window. Lily stared at his back and waited for him to gather his thoughts.

" I know you have just returned from school and would probably like a rest, but that is not the case. Today, only an hour after your return for the winter holidays, I received a letter. It was from your brother, I believe his name is Julius," Mousier Auclair started. At the mention of Julius, Lily was reminded of her earlier remembrance of the attack on the ministry.

" I am so sorry little flower," Mousier Auclair started. He sat by Lily's side and held her hand. Mousier Auclair didn't remind her of her cherished Benjy. Darcy Auclair may have been an older clone of Benjy, down to the soulful blue eyes, but the two had completely different personalities.

Benjy had been the sex god of Beauxabatons, and did not care to break a girl's heart. The only girl he admitted to care for was Lily, and this brought hordes of jealous fan girls onto her. Lily could recall one time when a girl attempted to call Him Lily's nickname. Within the next week, the girl had left Beauxabatons and was never to be seen again. Benjy was always warm and open and kind to her, but to the world he held an icy disposal that was not one to temper with.

Darcy Auclair on the other hand was an open book. He mastered the art of sympathy of care in his youth and used both to his advantage. He was a man who loved to love people in all essence. That was why Lily had grown so attached to him. For unlike her own father, Darcy Auclair showed pride in the mere fact of breathing the same air as Lily, let alone being her father figure.

" Yesterday evening, my closest companion since youth, your father, and my beloved friend, whom I regarded as a sister, your mother, passed away," Mousier Auclair finished.

Tears glistened in his eyes. Lily reached out to embrace him, and he embraced her back.

"I'm so sorry ," he whispered. " Your brother has sent a letter for you. I will leave it on your side table. read it when you are up to it," Mousier Auclair stated. He then reached into his pocket and pulled a sealed envelope from it. He gently place it on her side table. Lily watched him numbly. Feelings seemed to have left her. She was surrounded by a void no one could cross.

" Read the letter and then we will talk," Mousier Auclair prompted. He promptly stood up, and left a kiss on Lily's forehead. Without another word, he left the room. out the window into the endless expanse white. Without her awareness her shaky hands reached for the envelope and ripped it open.

A letter with the Gastor crest on it fell out. Lily reached for it and cautiously opened it.

* * *

Lily pressed her head against the cool window of train. She slumped against the comfort that the frigid British countryside had to offer.

It had been over three years since Lily had seen the scenic countryside of England. It had been five years since she laid her eyes upon the full glory of an English winter. When she first arrived in the ministry at the International Floo Station, she was stunned by the changes in her childhood home.

Before her banishment, Lily would often go to work with her father; a high-ranking Wizengamot member. She could remember fuzzy-edged scenes of sunny days holding her father's hand. Memories burst from her mind in a series of fireworks. The office her father worked in, which was decorated in awards and family pictures. The sweet taste of Florean Fortesque's double chocolate ice cream. Standing shyly next to her father as he introduced her to members of the Wizengamot and other high ranked purebloods. The walls of the Ministry of Magic were her home away from home, so when she returned to an alien world she was shocked.

When she had last been in the Ministry, it was an overwhelming beehive of productivity. Witches and wizards hurried thorough the antechamber. Baskets containing notes shot through the air, sometimes dropping some. Posters for the election for Minister of Magic adorned the walls. And right in the center, a statue of equality stood.

The statue stood in the middle of a large fountain, were Lily had often begged her father to take her. On top of the fountain stood four beings. A wizard stood crossing his wand with the wand of a witch. A centaur and goblin stood before them, to symbolize magical equality. Those were Lily's faded memories of the Ministry.

Yet instead of being greeted by a familiar scene on her return, she was greeted with a strange world.

The Ministry no longer had its walls adorned with posters of magical pride and election ballots. Instead, slander towards muggles and muggleborns covered the walls. Brochures for how to protect one's house from a death eater attack were stationed through out the room. Paper airplanes shot through the air, as messages to other departments. The witches and wizards did not stop to say hello to a fellow Ministry employee, instead they looked towards the ground and ignored others.

Worst of all, stood the newly erected statue in the middle of the room. Long gone was the symbol of peace and equality, in its place stood one of bigotry. The statue was still positioned over the fountain. Yet the Centaur and goblin had disappeared. In there place were two wizards. The four magical beings pointed their wands towards a sigh that read, Long Live the Ministry.

Bile crept up Lily's throat at the mere thought of her memory of the new Ministry, as she shivered against the window of the train. After seeing the "new and improved" ministry, she bolted from the building. Lily then hailed the night bus, and took a dangerous and swift ride to Kings Cross station.

Unlike the Ministry, Kings Cross had remained the same boring station from the memories of her youth, when she had seen her brothers off to Hogwarts.

The thought of her brothers brought the bitter reminder of why Lily was traveling across the memory revoking planes of England instead of playing Quidditch with Benjy at the Auclair Manor.

* * *

_Flashback_

Lily sat in her bed clutching a crisp white letter with shaky hands. She took a few deep breaths and gently opened the letter. Immediately, her eyes leaped to the Gastor crest at the top of the page. Unlike other pureblood crests, the Gastor crest held no pompous works of art on it.

When a pureblood family was deemed pure enough to enter the society of the seventy or so pure families, it had to create a crest. This crest would be the symbol of purity for generation to come. Some, such as the Black Family, took this instruction quite heavily. Usually the crest had something to do with the family's origins. The Rosier crest had a series of Primrose, as the Rosiers had talent mainly in regards to Herbalogy.

The origins of the Gastor Family had a large impact on its crest. The Gastor Family was one of the holy seven, the seven pureblood families that could trace its origins, and purity, to the dark ages. Its creation was formed from an alliance between the Castor and Goste pureblood families, taking a variation of the two names; Gastor.

Since the two families were affiliated with the constellations, the Gastor crest was a night sky, with a constellation creating an enchanting "G." When Lily's mum married her father, the crest was alter to show the union between the two families. A Lilium stargazer was entwined around the "G" to show her parent's union.

This crest of the night and nature stared back at Lily's eyes. She averted her eyes from the elegant crest and began to read the letter.

_Lily,_

_Yesterday evening, the 21st of December, our parents passed away. Father has ailed from Dragon's pox for over a year, and was emitted to St. Mungo's a week ago. Pericles and I took time off from work to be with him. Lucian, Cassius, and Jason left from Hogwarts a week before their winter holidays started to see him. Mother stood by his bedside everyday._

_Sadly, she did not take proper safety precautions and contracted a more deadly form of father's Dragon Pox five days ago. She passed away at dusk, and he at midnight. Before father died, he informed me that he would want you to see him one last time. Sadly it was too late to retrieve you from France. I can only hope to make it up to him by inviting you to his funeral. We are holding it on the 23rd of December in the Godric Hallow cemetery, at midday. I would prefer if you could come to the Manor house and for all of us to go together, to present an untied front._

_After the funeral is the reading of the will, you should stay for that, even though you may not receive anything. I ask that you leave England after the day of the funeral, to continue your, shall I say, stay in France._

_Respond back with your plans,_

_Julius William Gastor_

Lily read the letter twice, her anger growing each time. The nerve of that arse, she thought to herself. Lily leaped from her bed and down the stairs. Her heart was racing, and fury coarsened through her veins. Her thoughts were leaping from one place to another. Abruptly she stopped when she had a realization.

Her father may have ended her banishment from England for one day, but he was no longer her guardian. If he wasn't then who was? Was it Julius or Mousier Auclair? She raced into her father-like figure's office with lightening speed.

Lily pushed the door open, to the surprise of the room's residents. Mousier Auclair stood with Benjy looking at a piece of parchment on his desk. Both looked up at Lily, and Benjy immediately covered the parchment with a stack of books. A light blush sprinkled his face.

" Lily, are you sure it is a good decision to leave your bedroom? Here I will take you up," Benjy stated. He moved towards her, but Lily interrupted his path.

" Benjy I'm fine, I do not need you to mother hen me," Lily answered. Benjy stood back with shock. Lily was never sarcastic when speaking to him.

" Uncle Darcy," Lily addressed Mousier Auclair with his title. " I read my brother's letter. I have decided to attend my parents' funeral tomorrow evening. I will pack my belongings and leave before midday. I do not know if I am going to return to France though. You have been more of a father to me than my own, and I would like to thank you for that. I would also like to thank you for taking me in right after the death of Aunt Rosaline. You have given me guidance and experience I will never forget. I will attempt to transfer to Hogwarts, before the holiday break ends. I have one last question for you though, do you know whom gets custody of me," Lily avowed.

Mousier Auclair stared at her in shock and sorrow. He had grown to love this broken-hearted girl like a daughter, and would truly miss her. She reminded her of his lost Rosaline, who was almost as spirited as the young women standing before him.

" Lily, I respect your decision. I will truly miss you, its been a comfort to have you stay after Rosaline's death," Mousier Auclair started. Benjy flinched at the mention of his mother death, as it was a sore topic.

Rosaline Whitewood had been a charming Ravenclaw pureblood who attending Hogwarts with Darcy Auclair and William Gastor. During the trio's fifth year, she began dating Darcy Auclair and the two married, with the approval of the pureblood society, a year after they graduated from Hogwarts. The two newly weds spent years traveling the world before settling in England. It was there, they gave birth to Benjamin Darcy Auclair, their one and only son. They moved to France after Mousier Auclair's appointment as the head of the French Department of Magical Law Enforcement

A month before Lily started to live with the Auclairs, Rosaline Auclair was shopping in Wizardry Paris, when a wizard shot the killing curse at her. The reasons for why were never discovered, but that did not console the hearts of Benjy and Darcy.

" I'm sorry to say that I am not able to attend the funeral, as is Benjy, so you will have to make your journey alone. Lily you will succeed in Hogwarts, and be sure to write to us. I do not know who gets custody for you, as your mother kept that in your father's will," Mousier Auclair responded.

Abruptly he grabbed his arm in pain. He crotched to the ground and Lily leapt towards him.

"Uncle Darcy, are you alright," she questioned. She leaned for ward to look at his robed hand, but Benjy jumped up from his spot by the door and grabbed her hand. Mousier Auclair sent him a look of gratitude.

" I apologize for my bones dear, they are not what they used to be. I have to go into work today. Benjy will take you to the international floo room in the ministry. Be sure to right to us darling. And remember know that you are a young pureblood woman who must stand her ground in England. The Pureblood Elitists are much more courageous in England, so watch your tongue and your actions. I love you dear, and your parents would be proud of you," Mousier Auclair stated.

He stood up, grabbed his wand and set a kiss on Lily's forehead. Then he walked briskly from the room. Lily watched him leave and pushed her emotions away from her, she was on a mission and emotions got in the way of business.

" Benjy I am going to pack. I will be down in precisely ten minutes, and then we can leave," Lily said as she glided out of the room. Benjy looked after her with a forlorn expression but did not say anything.

She swiftly walked up the steps, trying to memorize every bit of the manor as possible. When she reached her room, Lily went into autopilot shooting spells to pack all of her belongings into suitcases. How convenient for purebloods able to practice magic in their homes, when muggles could not, she thought to herself. When she was done, Lily walked over to her desk and wrote a short letter to Julius stating that she would be attending the funeral and would arrive at the manor before dusk that day.

Lily grabbed the letter and walked over to her window. She opened it and the fresh December morning snow hit her in the face. She brushed it off and whistled. Within seconds a bolt of fiery red shot from the sky. Lily smiled for the first time since she received the news of her parents' death. Lily always held a certain fondness for her owl, Hestia.

Hestia had been a gift from her mother before Lily had been banished to Greece. Hestia was a lithe owl capable of traveling the long commute from Greece to England and France to England. Her feathers were a mix of brilliant red and a golden orange. Hestia tended to stand out against the pale blue or onyx hue of the night sky. Lily used Hestia to write to her brothers before she was sent to France. After her dispatch to Beauxabatons, Hestia was used to communicate with her close friends in Greece.

Hestia hooted in joy at the site of seeing Lily. Lily ran her fingers over Hestia's flaming feathers.

" How do you feel about a change of scenery Hestia," Lily questioned Hestia. Hestia hooted, and Lily smiled again. She tied the letter to Hestia's leg and gave Hestia one last command.

" Take this letter to Julius, he's at the manor. You remember where that is right? Good, now go and stay in the owlery there," Lily murmured to the chaste bird.

Hestia gave one last hoot and flew into the dawn sky. Lily leaned against the window frame and watched Hestia disappear into the sky. Clouds streaked over the early morning sky and rays of gold peaked through. Snow shone on the French woods surrounding the Manor. If there were one thing Lily was sure to miss about France other than Benjy, it would be the view.

" Lils you ready to go," Benjy questioned from his stance by the door of Lily's room. He watched her with guarded eyes, tracing her outline.

" Yeah let's go," Lily answered. She turned around and pointed her wand at her suitcases, muttering a spell. The suitcases swirled together and transformed into a bracelet. Lily leaned down and placed the band over her arm.

" You've got to teach me how to do that," Benjy stated. Lily looked over to him with a smirk.

" May be one day," Lily responded. She grabbed his hand and walked out of her room without a glance back. The duo walked down the stairs and into the Auclair parlor. They stood in front of the fireplace.

" Lily I'll owl your broomstick to you before the break," Benjy said interrupting the silence. Lily looked at him curiously.

" Benjy it's the middle of the year, the Quidditch team probably do not need players," Lily answered.

" They'll make an exception for you, you are the great Lily Marie Gastor, sister of the Gastor brothers, daughter of the Pureblood power coupl-" Benjy started. His voice dwindled as he realized what he was saying. He looked at Lily with shame.

Lily didn't look at him; instead she stared at the fire lost in thought. She finally broke the silence when she said, " But what if I wasn't some pureblood poster child? What if I didn't have my brothers or my blood? What if I was just some muggleborn," Lily mused aloud. Thought spun through her head as she reached a decision.

" Benjy you are a genius," Lily crowed. Benjy stared at her in confusion, not following her train of idea.

" I already knew that, but why are you so keen to point it out now," Benjy questioned. He eyed Lily warily.

" What do you think of a little experiment? If I pretend to be muggleborn then know one will know who I really am? My brothers have practically disowned me, so they couldn't care much. All I need is to forge the papers and alter a few records," Lily theorized.

Benjy turned white as she said her plan. " Lily, I think it's a good idea but not for this time. People are persecuting muggleborns. It may not be safe. I don't want you to get hurt," Benjy told her.

Lily stared at him in shock. Did he not think she was brave enough? Did her beloved Benjy think of her as weak and cowardly?

" Benjy I'm doing this with or without your permission. I can't believe that you don't think that I am strong enough to handle this," Lily growled.

" Lily I can't give you my blessing. I don't support your plan; frankly it's a bit conceited. Why are you even going to Hogwarts first of all? You hate your family, and you are trying to prove some petty point to them! This isn't you," Benjy shot back.

" Its not your decision to make. And I have to do this, there's something fishy about Julius' story. I just have to figure out what it is," Lily sharply answered.

" Lily that my point! You are leaving behind your home, your leaving me to follow some trail that might not even be true! Lily this isn't the right thing to do," Benjy responded.

" You know you can leave. I am going to England and I will go to Hogwarts and I will find out what is happening and there is nothing you can do," Lily finished.

Lily walked to the fireplace and grabbed some floo powder. She turned around and looked a Benjy's defeated frame.

" Ministry of Magic," Lily shouted. She threw the floo powder into the fireplace and jumped into the flames. Her good-bye was on the tip of her tongue, but she didn't say anything.

The last thing she saw was the cerulean of Benjy's anguished eyes.

_Flashback ends_

* * *

Tears formed in her eyes as she blinked furiously. Lily had a mission and could not risk getting distracted by Benjy's pettiness.

The English countryside blurred behind the glass of the window. Snowflakes leaped through the sky and danced with the wind. The trees raised their gnarled limbs to the sun in a symbol of surrender. Lily was an alien to this world.

Over three years ago was she forced to leave England, and now she was back. Yet the memories of her childhood seemed like lies when she looked at the gorgeous countryside flash by.

The sun sat low in the sky, as a reminder of the long train ride Lily was on. Last she heard was the conductor saying they had just past Nottingham several hours ago.

Lily leaned out of her seat and looked around in her compartment. An elderly couple sat by a window snoozing off in the corner. A young muggle woman sat in her seat reading some sort of gossip magazine. Lily craned her neck saw a man two rows in front of her.

He was writing a paper and seemed to be frustrated with the passage. He had red hair, but not as red as Lily's and looked to be a few years older that her. His was more of a strawberry blonde. It grew in shaggy curls that touched the tip of his eyebrows. A pair of thin reading glasses covered his eyes. He was hunched over in his seat, as attempt to fit his gangly body. He scowled at the paper and muttered a few words under his breathe.

Lily picked up a few of the words, and giggled at his frustration. The man must have had keen ears as he lifted his head and looked Lily straight in the eye. His eyes were a soulful gray that appeared to have a storm waging in them. Lily blushed a deep red and looked down.

She turned to the window in embarrassment and stared at the passing fields. A light tap broke her out of her thoughts, and she turned towards it. The man she was caught staring stood before her. Lily blushed and he spoke, interrupting the silence.

" Do you mind if I sit here," he prompted. His vowels rolled in a smooth tune, indicating a mild welsh accent.

" No not at all," Lily answered. He then smiled and moved into the seat next to Lily's.. The sat for a few seconds before Lily broke the silence.

" I'm sorry but do you happen to know where exactly are we," Lily questioned.

" I believe that we passed Sheffield about a half hour ago," he responded.

" Oh thanks," Lily answered. She could feel his eyes staring at her and blushed again.

" I'm sorry, it's just that you have a very interesting accent," he said.

" I've just come to England from France for the first time in three years,' Lily stated with a shrug.

" No. You speak with a faint accent, but there's something else," he mused.

" I lived in Greece before France," Lily answered.

" Ahh a fellow islander then. I knew your voice reminded me of home," he responded with a smile.

" I'm sorry but you have a welsh accent," Lily pointed out.

" My parents moved us to Wales for my sister and my education, since they both grew up there," he answered.

" Interesting. So what is a Greek Welsh boy like you doing on a train to Manchester," Lily queried.

" Well this Greek Welsh boy is going to visit his sister who attends Uni in Manchester," he quipped.

" Where do you go to school," Lily questioned curiously.

" Just some typical everyday college in Wales," he answered. " So what is a Greek French girl like you doing on a train to Manchester," he questioned, attempting to change the subject.

" My family home is in Manchester, well on the outskirts," Lily replied. The Gastor Manor was separated from Manchester by a large wood, as were most pureblood manors.

" Any siblings, Frenchy, " He enquired.

" Five brothers," Lily responded nonchalantly.

" Well that sure is a lot. My family's just my parents, Helen, and I. But we're a close bunch," he responded. He went off on a tangent stories from his childhood.

" I'm sorry for rambling, what's your family like," he questioned embarrassed.

" My family is more of the Gastors and then there's Lily hidden from society," Lily mused drily.

" I'm sorry," he responded.

" It's okay. I've embraced my outsider role," Lily replied. There was an awkward silence, as the two looked anywhere but at each other.

" So your last name's Gator, what your first," the boy questioned as trying to break the silence.

" Lily, what's your name," Lily questioned.

" Harland Evans," He resounded.

" That an interesting na-" Lily started. Before she could finish the train abruptly stopped.

She and Harland slammed into the seat in front of them. Lily groaned and stood up slowly. She looked outside of the window and saw swirls of black steak the sky. One, by one they came shooting into the ground, turning into robed men. Death eaters, Lily thought to herself. A shiver crept up her back.

Lily turned from the window and grabbed Harland. She pulled him up and looked around the compartment. The elderly couple was helping each other up and the muggle woman was picking her magazine from the ground.

Lily knew she had to act quickly to save these muggles. She looked at what she was wearing, a pair of fitted jeans, a green sweater, and combat boots. A red liquid drenched her pants, and she looked at where it was coming from.

" Holy shit! Harland your head's bleeding," Lily yelped. Harland touch his face gingerly and winced.

" That's not important, Lily what going on? Did you see those men outside," Harland questioned. Lily ignored him and reached down into her boot, grabbing her wand.

A rod of willow encasing a single unicorn mane hair, instead of the typical tail hair, emerged from her boot. Lily pointed it at Harland and murmured a few spells, immediately the wound began to heal.

" Is that a wand? What are you," Harland questioned touching his healed forehead. Lily looked out the window and saw the death eaters marching in unison towards the train.

"We don't have time for this. Harland I'm a witch, and those men out there are wizards. But they are bad really bad, they hate muggles and are about to kill everyone in the train if I don't do something," Lily told him. Harland's eyes opened in surprise. Yet they soon relaxed and he faced Lily determinedly.

" Harland I need you to get every person in this compartment off of the train and run. Don't stop running until you reach a village or a city just keep running," Lily ordered.

" What about the other compartments, there's five on this train," Harland questioned.

" I'll take care off the people in those, hurry before it's too late," Lily responded. Harland gave her one last look before running towards the muggle woman.

" Reducto," Lily cried. She shot her wand at the window and it burst into pieces. She jumped out of it and tumbled on the snow-covered tracks. Lily stood up and felt cuts form from the glass she fell on. Blood covered her clothing and skin, but she didn't care. Lily looked up and saw that almost fifty yards in front of her stood all the train passengers in a giant mob. Around then death eaters stood in a circle taunting them.

Lily raced towards them, skidding across the snow-covered plain. Her blood fell on the pure white snow. When she was a few yards away, a death eater pointed to her and yelled. Soon bolts of spells shot through the air towards Lily.

" Protego," Lily screamed. The spells bounced off her shield charm and hit their castors.

" Hey! Look's like she's a witch," one of the death eater shouted. Lily didn't pay attention to him as she sent a spell at the muggles. The crowd shot into the air surrounded by an enlarged bubblehead charm. Lily flicked her wand at the bubble and sent it flying across the plain.

The death eaters shouted and one shot a spell at the bubble. It burst into pieces and the muggles fell on the plain. The death eaters marched towards them sending neon spells after the muggles. Lily paled; she could recognize the sickly green of the killing curse from anywhere.

Muggles began to fall, and crowded together. Lily ran towards them shooting hexes and jinxes towards the death eaters. None of the death eaters fought back, they brushed Lily's swift spells aside and continued to massacre the muggles. Lily finally reached the muggles, Before the death eaters came, there were about seventy aboard the train, now only thirty remained, standing in piles of their fellow passengers.

She stood in front of them and pointed her wand at the death eaters.

" Don't come any closer," Lily yelled.

" Little girl, stand down," One yelled. He moved to the front of the crowd, and stood before Lily, He grabbed the blackness of his mask and pulled the swirls of gas from his face. Lily gasped when she saw his face.

" I know you," Lily murmured. He heard her and smirked.

" Of course you do, I am Abraxas Malfoy, who wouldn't know me," he said smugly. The other death eaters found this amusing, and laughed.

" Are the Gastors among you," Lily demanded. Abraxas looked at her in disgust.

" It looks like we have a mudblood. The entire pureblood society knows that the Gastors have been given time to mourn after their loss. Now boys what shall we do with this dirty mudblood." Abraxas cackled. The other death eater shouted suggestions of what to do to Lily.

Before they could say anything, a group of death eaters apparated into the plain, carrying a group of muggles.

" Oi Malfoy! Look what we found. A group of piggish muggles thought that they could escape the power and might of wizards, let's have at em," a death eater shouted. They pushed the muggles into the other group. Lily saw the gleam of Harland's eyes.

" I told you to run Harland," Lily shouted. Before he could respond, Abraxas interrupted.

" Oh is that your little boyfriend? Look at this, a mudblood and her bastard muggle lover. Do you let him and his friends wh-" Abraxas started. Harland jumped on him and punched him.

" Don't speak to her that way," he shouted. A few death eaters ran forth and pulled Harland off of Abraxas.

" Look at this disobedient muggle! I will have to teach him a lesson. One of you restrain this mudblood and bring her to me. The rest of you finish these muggles off," Abraxas shouted. A death eater grabbed Lily and carried her protesting body over to Abraxas. Lily could hear the shout of Avada Kedevra fill the air.

Suddenly, Lily was shoved on the ground. The death eater holding her shot the stunning spell at her, and held her up. Lily was forced to look at the putrid scene in front of her.

Abraxas Malfoy stood over Harland with an evil gleam in his eye.

" Crucio," he shouted. The spell twisted through the air with speed and hit Harland in the chest. He screamed with pain and convulsed on the ground.

Lily was not able to do anything. No one would save them. They were doomed. Harland's tortured screams filled the air.

Suddenly Lily heard the pop of apparitions and saw men enter the field. More death eaters Lily thought. But she was wrong.

Golden robed men and women swiftly ran through the plain. Spells leaped from their wands towards the death eaters.

" Aurors," Abraxas Malfoy whispered. He looked at the muggle before him and smirked.

" Avada Kedevra," he shouted. A green light swarmed from his wand and pounced on Harland. His tortured screams ended and his eyes became glassy.

Lily screamed, finally freeing herself rom the stunning spell. She grabbed her wand from the ground and shot a jinx at Abraxas and the death eater holding her.

They fell to the ground and Lily looked up. All of the original muggles were in piles of corpses. The remaining death eaters saw their fallen leader and apparated out of the field. The aurors ran towards Lily and the corpses.

" You there! Are you okay," one shouted. Lily looked at the robed wizard and saw him walk towards her. She suddenly felt dizzy and began to sway. The man ran towards her.

" Whoa there. Lets get you sitting. There is that better? I'm Bishop Shacklebolt can you tell me your name miss," the auror questioned. He was crouching over Lily who was sitting on the cold snow. But she didn't care; all she cared about was how horrible it was to be a pureblood.

" Its Lily, Lily Evans," She whispered. Lily thought it was right to honor Harland's bravery with this tribute. From this day forth she was no longer Lily Gastor, the reluctant pureblood, she was Lily Evans the proud muggleborn. Mr. Shacklebolt smiled lightly.

" Well Miss. Evans, we at the auror department would like to thank you for taking care of two suspected death eaters. Those men you jinxed, they are Abraxas Malfoy and Cygnus Black, two suspected death eaters, With your help those men are going to go somewhere they can never harm muggles again," Bishop told Lily.

" Oi Shacklebolt! The area has been cleared of our presence; we took the bodies to the ministries. They will be given to the families through the muggle government. The profit wants a word with the girl,"

An auror shouted. She walked over to Lily and Bishop. The auror had long black hair and gray eyes. She had an aristocratic grace and beauty. For some reason, she reminded Lily of the Black family.

" Hey there. I would personally like to thank you for dealing with my bastard of a father, may the Black family end up in hell," the auror informed Lily.

" Oh I almost forgot, I'm Andromeda Black, disgrace to the Black Family. Blood traitor and proud," the women told Lily. Lily gaped at her. She had heard of Andromeda Black, she had even met her. The women standing in front of her was her brother ex girlfriend, who broke his heart when she abandoned their arranged marriage to run off with a muggleborn Hufflepuff. Julius was still heart-broken over Andromeda from what Lily could assume.

" It's an honor to meet you Auror Black," Lily answered Andromeda twisted her face in revulsion.

" Its Auror Tonks now. After marrying Ted I ditched the Toujas Pur crap," Andromeda told Lily.

" So Lily what do you think of being an auror," Andromeda voiced. Bishop chuckled.

" Andy, stop trying to influence our young. If Miss. Evans ever wants to pursue a career in Magical Law Enforcement, I'll be the first to recommend her to Moody," Bishop stated.

Lily let the two aurors banter on, as she looked around her. The aurors managed to get rid of the bodies and any sign that the plain had been touched by magic. The sun was beginning to set and Lily remembered that she told Julius that she would arrive before sunset.

" Shit," she muttered. The aurors looked at her.

" Miss Evans do you have somewhere you need to go," Bishop questioned. Lily blushed and looked at him.

" I was supposed to meet someone in the Manchester Train Station," Lily responded.

" I'm sure that Tonks here would be more than willing to apparate you to Manchester," he told her. Lily smiled shyly.

" Only if it's not too much of an issue," Lily told Auror Tonks.

" Looky here. We've got the first well-mannered teen in existence. I'm telling you Shacklebolt she's gonna be the biggest thing to hit the auror department since Moody," Auror Tonks crowed.

Lily blushed. She never thought about her future since she always assumed that she would end up being a pureblood housewife. Before a pureblood girl goes to Hogwarts, she had their first entrance in pureblood society. She would meet her betrothed, who had been decided when she was born.

Lily was banished to Greece before she had her entrance to society. She often pitied her betrothed since he never found out who his future wife would be.

" Hey Lily its time to go," Auror Tonks said. Lily grabbed Auror Tonks' outstretched hand.

" It was an honor to meet you auror Shacklebolt. Thank you for saving me when I couldn't even save myself and the muggles," Lily said.

" Lily not even s fully trained auror could have saved those muggles from that large of a death eater group. Don't blame yourself for this," Auror Shacklebolt stated. Lily looked at him in gratitude.

" Thank you. You've changed my view on the world," Lily voiced.

Auror Shacklebolt nodded at her. Andromeda Tonks then apparated with Lily to Manchester, leaving Auror Shacklebolt bearing the weight of the war in a fresh field of snow.

* * *

Lily's world spun as she felt the pressure of apparition on her back. She was standing in Manchester Train Station. Muggles hustled from train to train. The station was taking the brute of holiday travels. Harland's tortured face flashed by Lily's mind and she grimaced.

" Lily I'm sorry but I need to get home to my daughter. She's ill and Ted's not the best doctor," Andromeda said.

" It's fine, I can see myself to my home. Thanks for your help Auror Tonks," Lily told Andromeda.

" None of this Auror nonsense. Call me Andy. Lily I want you to remember to watch your back, times of war are hard ones. You never know who's gonna betray you," Andromeda stated. She then apparated from the station leaving Lily alone in a room full of people she didn't know.

Lily sighed and walked to the train station parking lot. She went to the back and tapped a wall with her wand. The Gastor crest glowed on the wall and a broomstick fell from the ceiling. Lily grabbed it. She went outside the station and jumped on it.

Lily glided into the orange sky. She had almost forgotten how much she loved to fly. It was accelerating to feel the wind brush against her face. Lily twisted her broom and leaned down, accelerating it.

Lily flew over the small suburban homes of the citizens of Manchester. She looked down and saw a familiar wood under her. Lily started to lower her broom as a pointed roof came into her view.

Gastor Manor, was built centuries ago, but with magic seemed freshly built. It was a large manor with a baby blue shingled roof and cream walls. Nestled in wood, it was secluded from the muggle view. A narrow drive led into the manor, and displayed the elegant front yard. Behind the house Lily could see the garden and patio leading to the pool and Quidditch pitch in the distance.

Lily then flew straight towards the earth. Right before making contact with the ground, she turned her broom and stopped it. Lily jumped from it and carried it to the door of the house.

A bout of nervousness broke through her chest. But she pushed it down. Lily was not scared; she was ready. She then pressed the gleaming doorbell, and heard the light notes echo from inside the house. She heard a pop and the door opened.

Before her stood Julius, hair more tousled than ever. His golden eyes bore straight at her. He stood straight and confident. More importantly he reeked of Gastor genetics.

Tousled blonde curls erupted from his head and glided to the tips of his ears. His straight nose and thick lips pointed towards his liquid gold eyes. High cheekbones completed the face. His body was muscled yet lean from years of Quidditch. A golden glow set off his tan face.

" Well if it isn't my little rebellious sister, returning to her throne," he drawled with a smirk.

Lily crossed her eyes and glared. She broke eye contact and attempted to push past him into the house. But he didn't let her.

" How about a hug Marie," he questioned with open arms. Lily looked at him in surprise. His usage of her childhood nickname seemed a tad off.

" Are you drunk," she questioned. He crossed his arms and smirked.

" No how have you been, no jumping into a hug, what happen to the little girl who used to greet me at platform every year," He demanded.

" She grew up after seeing her brother massacre a group of innocent people for fun," Lily replied. This through him off, Lily shoved him from the door and entered the house.

The interior was the same classic elegance that hinted of her mother's taste. The though of her mother brought a sour notion to her head. But before she could do anything Julius interrupted her.

" Poppy will take you to your room. Freshen up, we are having a family dinner in an hour," Julius ordered. He took her arm and led her to the staircase in the center of the room.

" Julius we need to talk. Where are Pericles, Lucian, Cassius, and Jason? When will the will be read," Lily questioned.

"All in time Marie," Julius enunciated. He then turned from her. But Lily was getting angry.

" Do you even care that our parents died a day ago? No you are just as heartless as Voldemort," Lily yelled. Julius turned and something flashed in his eyes. He grabbed Lily and held her against him.

" You hypocrite. Don't you dare act like some self-righteous angel! You haven't seen mum or father in years! So get off of your damn high horse. And don't you dare used the Dark Lord's name derogatorily," he spoke darkly.

Lily nodded her head and he released her. Julius clapped his hands, and a house elf apparated into the room.

" Poppy be a dear and take Lily to her room," Julius commanded.

" Yes master Julius! Poppy would be happy to take Mistress Lily to her room," Poppy yelped. Julius waved to Lily and walked off into the manor.

" Poppy this isn't really necessary, I do remember where my room is," Lily said.

" No no! Poppy must do as instructed so off we go," Poppy stated. Lily sighed and followed the house elf up the stairs.

The hallways remained the same as they had been for year. Every few rooms a portrait adorned the wall of a family member. Lily could feel the shocked stares of her deceased family as she walked through the halls.

" Here we are," Poppy said. The house elf opened the door and left with a pop. Lily entered her room and saw that the room was bare. A huge canopy bed stood in the middle, devoid of sheets. The walls were painted the light dusty gold that had always been there. The baby blue carpet was soft on Lily's tired feet.

The room adjourned to a bathroom and a walk in closet. Lily tapped her bracelet with her wand and her belongings flew out into their proper spots. Books stacked themselves in the wall lined with built-in bookshelves. Clothing flew into the armoires folded, and on hangers in the closet. Her toiletries shot into the restroom as her personal belongings did into her desk. Pictures of her friends and family stuck themselves to the wall of her desk. Lily looked around her feeling somewhat at home.

Lily walked into the restroom and took a shower. She washed her hair twice trying to get the smell of corpses from it. When she felt sufficiently clean, Lily wrapped herself in her towel and left her restroom. She traipsed over to her closet and grabbed a set of clothing that would keep her brothers off her back.

Lily slid into her bra and underwear and threw a pair of denim leggings and a fitted shirt. She grabbed her wand and dried her hair with it. Lily walked over to the full mirror and stared at herself.

Unlike her brothers whose bodies screamed Gastor, Lily's had the hidden elegance and beauty of her family. She stood 5'6 ft. tall. In comparison to her brothers she looked like a doll instead of an average height. Her hair was a rich crimson that curled into graceful, tamable curls naturally, which reached her mid back.

Lily's skin was a fair shade that she inherited from her father. It had a light shine to it making it look like the moon's gentle glow in comparison to her brothers' sunny shine. Her eyes were a large soulful shape, which all the Gastors had. But instead of her father's golden irises, she had her Irish grandmother's expressive emerald-green eyes. Thick lashes of cerise surrounded them and high cheekbones enhanced them.

Her nose was the standard aristocrat pureblood nose and her mouth was the cherry red fullness of her mother's. Lily had a lithe body, with curves in the right places. Her legs were long and creamy leading to lady-like small feet. Lily was thought to be gorgeous but she didn't see it. Lily saw the Gastor ring on her mirror image's neck and looked away.

Lily walked to her desk and grabbed her wand. She slid it into the pocket of her jeans and left her bedroom. She walked down the stairs and into the informal dining room.

The Gastor Dining room was a large spacious room that could fit over fifty seated people. It was that reason Lily's mum deemed it wrong for a family. She converted a smaller, yet large room into an informal dining room for family meals.

Julius sat at her father's seat at the head of the table. On his right sat Pericles and his left Lucian. Cassius sat beside Pericles with his nose buried in a book, and Jason toyed with a snitch beside Lucian. All of them were whispering to each other quietly. Lily was an alien to the scene before her.

Pericles looked up from the discussion and felt Lily's eyes on him. He looked towards her with a soft smile. Pericles slipped from the table and strode over to her. He grabbed her and threw her in a huge bear hug.

" Oh my little petal you're all grown up," he murmured into her hair. The others looked up and saw the embracing siblings. Pericles released her and the minute he did a bolt of gold flashed towards her.

" Lily dinner's been dreadfully boring without your stories," Jason told her as he swung her in the air. Lily blushed; this was not the greeting she was expecting. She was ready for an awkward dinner of silence not one of joy.

" Jace why don't you try to share Lily with the rest of us," Lucian drawled annoyed at his younger brother's antics. Jason blushed and released Lily. Lucian and Cassius got up and embraced her at the same time.

" We have to have a game of Quidditch! Julius murmured from his spot. He got up and strode over to the crowd surrounded his sister.

" Ben told us that you've been the little Quidditch star at Beaxabatons Lils," Cassius smirked. Lily blushed. She was overwhelmed by the sentimentality of her brothers.

" You are still a little midget," mused an observing Lucian. Lily scowled and glared him.

" It's not my fault you lot are a bunch of giants," Lily quipped. They looked shocked but laughed.

" Oh Marie you're still the little spitfire we remember," Julius laughed. A pop filled the air and the boys looked over at the table. Dinner sat on the table hot and ready. The boys ushered Lily towards the table and sat her down at the circular table. While eating, the boys snuck glances at Lily to make sure that she was real.

Lily listened to them banter of old memories and stories. She stared at them trying to absorb everything she missed for the last five years.

Pericles' gentle professional fatherly behavior proved that he had matured from the jokester teen of his past. Unlike the other Gastors, he had more of wheat colored head of hair. His build was lean and tall. His golden eyes were the replicate of the other Gastors, but his had more a gentle edge to them.

Lucian lounged in his seat in a similar way to Julius. He was an exact replica of Julius, except that he had the round edges of youth. Lucian seemed to have broken out of his shy childhood shell, and embraced whom he was.

Cassius had turned into a bookworm in Lily's absence. His hair was cropped short and emphasized the sharp edges of his body. He was almost a foot taller than when Lily had last seen him. Unlike the other Gastors, Cassius had more of a tan from days spent outside in his youth. He listened to the others, but when he voiced his opinion everybody seemed to gravitate towards him.

Jason had a huge smirk stretched across his face. He had grown almost a foot and a half. His hair was shaggy and straight unlike the rest of the Gastors. His skin had a lighter glow than the others, more like Lily's. Jason had a smile that made the world seem like a brighter place.

" I feel horribly rude, but Benjy doesn't keep me informed on you lot, he prefers to tell me about his conquests," Lily mused.

" That sounds like Ben," Jason responded. The boys and Lily laughed; it was good to be a family again. The reminder of their parents' death faded into the background with the presence of their Lily, because no matter where she was she was the glue that held them together.

" And right in the middle of the game, Lucian decides that he was capable of catching the bludger with his hands. That bludger did not like that. It shot across the stadium with Lucian hanging on for dear life. If only we had ta-" Cassuis said. He grabbed his arm at the same time as the other Gastor brothers. They all made eye contact.

" Lily we have some business about the funeral to attend to. You must be tired so you should go off to sleep," Julius ordered. The other brothers nodded their heads and stood up.

" No its fine, I should come and aid," Lily stated standing with them. They stared at her with strained smiles.

" Lily its no trouble stay here," Pericles calmly commanded. The others looked at him thankfully. Lily frowned and argued.

" You boys have dealt with mum and father's death a lone, let me help," Lily insisted. The boys made eye contact.

" Oh screw it. She's going to find out anyways. Lily our family has aligned itself with the Dark Lord. We believe in his cause. We have all pledged ourselves as death eaters, and have the dark mark," Jason revealed. Lily turned pale and took a step from them.

" You are joking? Are you serious," Lily questioned. Jason lifted his sleeve and showed Lily his writhing dark mark. The others did the same. Lily went from shocked to furious.

" You bigoted arses! You should be ashamed. You are all being disgrace and shame to the Gastor family name. Mum and Father would be asham-" Lily began.

" Lily this is who we are! Mum and Father supported us; Father was a death eater Lils! We need filthy mudbloods to see that purebloods are better and they are just lowlife pigs," Julius responded. The others nodded their heads in agreement.

Lily's heart tore in two when she heard Julius' comment. How could her brothers be so bigoted and prejudiced? She was ashamed.

" Well if that how you feel then you won' t be upset when I say that I am not longer a member of this family. I will stay for the break and the funeral then never return. I've already transferred all of my school records to the muggle name Lily Evans. I plan on attending Hogwarts the minute this break is over and there is nothing you can do about it! If you do tell anyone my true identity, I will go straight to the aurors with your names as death eaters. They will lift your sleeves and its off to Azkaban for the lot of you," Lily ranted. The Gastor brothers watched her with displeasure creeping up their throats.

" Lily we will finish talking when we return from our meeting," Pericles said. The boys in unison turned to black smoke apparating out of the room. Lily was alone with a freshly healed heart that had been sliced open.

* * *

The morning sun shone through the curtains of the canopy and on Lily. She groaned and turned over, slamming her pillow over her head. Lily was lying in her bed tangled in the blankets. Her hair lay in a tangle of fiery curls above her head.

Lily rose from her head reluctantly, feeling the burn of a night without sleep. She looked towards her window and saw the sun sitting low in the sky. Lily slid off her bed and went over to her window. She stared at the snow-covered grounds lost in thought.

Lily looked over to her clock. It was 11 AM. She had forty minutes before the funeral would begin. Lily sprinted to her bathroom and threw her pajamas off. She took a quick shower and bolted from the room. Lily ran to her closet and applied her make up in record time. She grabbed the black robes she wore to Mrs. Auclair's funeral and slinked into it. Lily paused when she saw her reflection. If her plan worked then the robes needed to be a bit longer. Lily shot a spell at her robe and it stretched down to below her knees.

" It's a bit to take in. My parents just died and my kid sister returned home after being banished for five years. And to top that off, I 'm a bloody death eater," a voice drawled from the door. Lily turned around in shock, instinctively her arm stretched out for her wand that wasn't by her side.

" Merlin's sweet pants, Pericles don't do that," Lily commanded. She clutched her chest and walked over to her side table where her wand was. Pericles wore a smirk and walked into her room and examined it.

" Whose this," Pericles said pointed to a framed picture. Lily walked over to him and looked at the picture. It brought a light smile to her face.

" That's Selena Kingsmill, she and I went to school in Athens together," Lily said. She stared at the picture with a light smile. It was taken the previous summer after the death eater massacre at the ministry. After the event, Monsieur Auclair sent Lily to Greece to stay with her mother's best friend Apolline Kingsmill. Her daughter, Selena, was Lily's closest friend after Benjy. Lily and Selena spent the remaining two weeks of summer break touring the isles around Greece.

In the picture, Lily was lightly tanned with healthy glow. She wore a green sundress and had an arm over Selena's shoulder. Selena had her head back thrown in laugher from a joke Lily had told. Selena was a few inches taller than Lily and bore a Greek tan. Her hair was a deep chestnut that reached her waist. Her blue eyes twinkled in joy.

Lily was jealous of the perfect poise and looks Selena had, but didn't let it get in the way of their friendship. The two girls were once inseparable, and Lily was relying on their friendship to let her through the wedding. She could faintly remember the letter she sent to her friend pleading her case. Lily hoped that Hestia could arrive before the funeral started.

" Is she a pureblood," Pericles questioned. Lily frowned but answered his question.

" Yes she is," Lily responded. She watched Pericles' face for any changes.

" Interesting. Well the reason Julius sent me here, Lily, we don't want any of your muggle nonsense at the funeral. It will be your first appearance in society so don't make a fool of yourself," Pericles said. Fury raced through Lily's veins, but before she could say anything, she heard a scrape against the window.

" Oh Hestia you are my savior," Lily murmured as she walked over to the window. She opened it and stroked Hestia's feathers. Lily reached down to Hestia's leg and pulled the small box from it.

Pericles stood watching her curiously. Lily ignored him and walked over to her desk.

She opened the box with one hand and a drawer in her desk with the other. She pulled a vial from the drawer and smiled as she read the label. Polyjuice potion, Lily thought as she read the label. She closed the drawer and opened the box, inside was a single hair of chestnut hair, and a note.

Lily picked up the note and read it. She smiled as she read it and placed it on her desk. Lily grabbed the strand of hair and placed it inside of the vial. Immediately, the potion changed from a murky brown to a light blue. Lily smiled and faced Pericles.

" You are forgetting that Lily Gastor does not exist," Lily informed Pericles.

" How do you plan to pull that off? The funeral begins in ten minutes and you are still Lily Gastor," Pericles scoffed.

" Like this," Lily responded. She opened the vial and drank its contents. Lily felt her hair growing and her body stretching. She closed her eyes and let the brief bout of dizziness fade. The Polyjuice was a special type that lasted for twelve hours, instead of the usual one-hour. Lily looked down at her potion supplies; she only had three more of the long term Polyjuice potion.

" Sometimes it annoys me how you always seem to have a plan," Pericles scoffed at her. Lily smiled and looked at her reflection. She was no longer a short redhead. She had long brunette hair and sapphire eyes. Her mourning robes reached the tip of her knees and had a scooped neck. They were plain black with no additions to it. Lily walked to her closet and grabbed an ebony cloak and a pair of black heels.

" I'm ready to go Mr. Gastor," Lily announced. Pericles stood up from his perch against her desk and looked at her.

" So your plan is to go to our parents' funeral as Selena Kingsmill, a girl who has met our parents maybe once," Pericles queried.

" Of course, it took you a bit of time to catch on though," Lily replied. She snuck her wand into her purse and let Pericles lead her from the room. They walked to the outside of the house and she side-along-apparated with him to the cemetery.

She felt the familiar tug at her navel and spun from existence.

* * *

The most esteemed pureblood cemetery resided in the small town of Godric's Hallow, the home of Godric Gryffindor. The sacred 30 families all had designated space, in accordance to how pure their family was. Godric Gryffindor's male line had died out; but it was extant in the female line in the Potter family, the only pureblood living in Godric's Hallow. Lily had heard of the Potter family from her elder brothers several times.

The Potters were one of the holy seven. They could trace their roots to the famous Peverell brother, Ignotus and Godric Gryffindor. Charlus Potter was the patriarch of the esteemed family. Dorea Potter was a pureblood witch who originated in the Black family, whom married Charlus. Lastly was their son, James Charlus Potter. Lily had heard Jason make some references to him in his tales of Hogwarts.

Lily quickly brushed away the thoughts of some arrogant pureblood boy and looked up. The sun sat in the winter sky surrounded by swirling clouds. Snow covered almost every surface, except for the pathway she trudged on.

She and Pericles landed outside of the Godric Hallow Cemetery and were walking through it in silence. Names on the tombstones popped out as she looked around. Crabbes and Abbots and Goyles blended together as she kept her eye on the mass of black clothed people in front of her.

She could make out their faint voices and bodies in the distance, as the deeper one got into the cemetery, the closer they got to the holy seven. Within the cemetery resided a much more luxury one. Lily approached the entrance to it and read the gilded sign. Originally the holy seven started out as the holy ten, but two of the families had died out; the Peverells and the Gaunts and one was for mixing with muggle blood several centuries ago, the Weasley family.

The crests of the families stood boldly in the heart of the sign. The holy seven was comprised of the Potter, Gastor, Black, Malfoy, Rosier, Prewitt, and McKinnon families. The families were ranked in order of purity, with the missing Gaunts and Peverells close to the top five.

The sign brought shivers of disgust to Lily. Luckily for her, Pericles mistook these for chills and ignored them.

" You shouldn't have worn such a flimsy outfit," he mumbled. Lily smirked and didn't reply. Instead she sped up and ambled into the cemetery of the holy seven. In here, the tombs were more elaborate and elegant than the ones within the outside. Each tomb held its family emblem on its engraved walls. Lily shook with disgust, even in death these souls were forced to pledge themselves to the views of purebloods.

As Lily and Pericles approached the mass of purebloods, some turned towards them. Lily felt a blush crawl up her throat and faced forward. Whispers of who she was entered the group. Pericles tightened his grip on her hand when they heard a comment about the new girl being a mudblood. Lily frowned but let Pericles hold her hand.

They quickened their pace as Pericles approached the Gastor brothers. They stood in front of freshly dug graves with the caskets near by. Lily could make out the deep notes of Julius' voice as she watched him shake hands with an elderly pureblood.

" Lily you can't join us at the front, it wouldn't look right as you are not a Gastor, well at least for as long as you look like Selena Kingsmill," Pericles murmured in her ear. Lily nodded and walked away from him. She walked over to the sole empty seat in the second row of the seats.

" If everyone could please get seated, the ceremony will start soon," Julius announced. Lily saw her brothers march towards the front of the seats. They sat humbly and showed outward signs of sadness. Lily scoffed at this, only the night before they were they laughing and exchanging jokes.

" Is it not thought to be rude to laugh at the family of the dead," a voice drawled from Lily's left. She jumped up and saw a boy lounging beside her.

His silver eyes pierced her cerulean ones and Lily turned towards him in shock. His deep ebony hair cascaded to his chin in a series of curls. Skin that held the tell-tale sign of sun exposure shone lightly in the sun's rays. His eyes were stormy gray orbs of tumultuous expressions gave away who he was. His overly exaggerated aristocrat nose and jawline indicated that he was a pureblood, but so was everyone else at the funeral. Yet it was his eyes that had been childhood bedtime stories of all pureblood children.

The ancient and most noble house of Black had one trait that deemed them recognizable. Other than their standard beauty, found in most purebloods, their eyes gave them away. Liquid silver pools of turbulent storms were the standard Black trait. Centuries ago, the heir to the Blacks was struck by an unrecognizable curse, for it had been delivered from the heavens themselves.

A bolt of lightening struck the handsome man and left him permanently scared. His eyes had been a glorious shade of ebony, but after the bolt of lightening struck him, his eyes became the hue of the storm that had delivered the bolt to him. Along wit the change in eye color, which became present in the descendants of the Black heir was the curse. The heirs were either emotional deprived or overly emotional. Lily wondered which of the two was the young man in front of her.

" It is also considered rude to stare," the man mused. Lily blushed and words shot from her mouth.

" It's also considered rude to stare a girl's body in such a veracious way, Mr. Black," Lily fired back at him. The brooding man sat up from his lounging place and leaned towards Lily.

" Well I was never one for social norms, and how do you know who I am," he answered. Lily smiled wryly and glanced around her. She saw younger purebloods assisting their elder relatives into seats, while blathering on about their connections with the Gastors. The funeral wouldn't begin for at least another ten minutes so Lily opted to continue her conversation with the man beside her.

" Your eyes gave you away," Lily announced. He smirked and nodded ruefully.

" It always is isn't it? Look at the Malfoys, with their steel eyes: the Rosiers baby blue eyes, the earthly coffee eyes of the Prewitts, the electric blue eyes of the Mkinnons, even the heavenly gold of the Gastors, gives each one of them away," he sung. Lily looked at him in shock; she expected him to be a cold and emotionally deprived black, not the emotional poetic man before him.

" Shocked are you? Yes even a Black is capable of emotion," he scoffed at her. Lily blushed a crimson red and looked away. But unluckily for her, the man beside her was not willing to let her leave their conversation.

" You never did tell me your name. Your eyes, they don't look very familiar. Yet you have the facial structure of a pureblood. So do care to enlighten me," he drawled.

" I'm Selena Kingsmill, my mum was friends with Mrs. Gastor. They went to school together. She was my godmother," Lily voiced. The boy turned towards her and replied to her.

" A Greek Pureblood, how exotic. I'm Sirius Black, Ms. Kingsmill at your service. My family isn't particularly close with the Gastors. Well, except for me, I'm mates with the youngest one, Jason," Sirius stated. He glanced around the cemetery, and his eyes sparkled when he caught sight of someone.

"Oi! Bella come here," Sirius shouted across Lily. Lily looked at him bewildered. Within minutes, a young witch appeared before them. She had heavy-lidded eyes that gave her an eternal bored expression. Her hair was a deep midnight black. Her stormy silver eyes gave away her heritage; she was a Black. She was tall and poised, yet she stared down Sirius with an annoyed expression.

" Sirius what do you want," she questioned. Lily shifted in her seat, catching the attention of the witch in front of Sirius.

" Oh Bella no family sentimentality? Where's the love," Sirius voiced with a smirk. The witch, Bella, appeared annoyed and made a move to go away.

" Sirius, I don't have time for your games," she said. " I'm recruiting now, I think I got the Shafiqs on board," the witch whispered in an excited voice. Lily eyed her curiously but let the two continue their conversation.

" I just wanted to know if you have seen your father recently, Uncle Cygnus is not one to turn down the free pureblood mingling of a funeral," Sirius voiced.

" No I haven't. I expect that he is with my mum. I mean he is Cygnus Black III, he would not dare to upset the Gastors," Bella mused. Lily gasped when she heard the father of the witch before her. Lily remembered his brooding stare as she stunned him, she remembered Bishop saying that he a suspected death eater.

" Oh Sirius you didn't tell me you had a lady friend over. Hello my name is Bellatrix Black," the witch excitedly stated.

" Hello I'm Selena Kingsmill," Lily muttered. Bellatrix looked puzzled for a minute.

" I'm sorry but I don't recognize that name," Bella apologized. Lily could see that she was trying to figure out if Lily was a pureblood.

" My family is an ancient pureblood family from Greece. My mum went to school with the late Mrs. Gastor, she was my godmother," Lily responded stiffly. She saw Bellatrix's eyes sparkle with interest.

" How fascinating, it was grand meeting you but I am afraid I must take my leave, my fiancé is calling me over, Sirius will you walk me over," Bella indicated.

" Same here," Lily stated. She watched Bella grab Sirius and pull him off. Lily heard something from their whisperings.

Lily watched him leave. Jason had mentioned a Sirius Black in the letters he sent to her while she lived in Greece. But the joking, mischievous gangly boy of his letters did not sit next to Lily. A man hardened by war sat by her side, a man who chose to play it off with an easy laugh, that is.

" Sorry about that, my cousin, Bella, is a tad excited about our, lets say heritage," Sirius muttered as he sat back down.

Before Lily could respond, she was interrupted by the voice of Julius. She turned from Sirius and saw that Pericles was watching her with a wry smirk. Lily stuck her tongue at him, while Sirius watched the exchange. Pericles winked at her and turned towards the coffins.

" My parents had this type of love that I don't think I will ever get the chance to have," Julius started. His eyes flashed with pain, as Lily remembered about Andromeda Black. She wondered it Bellatrix or Sirius were related to her. Sirius stiffened next to her and crossed his arms, faintly brushing hers.

" My father would do anything for my mum. My mum left her home, and everything she knew in exchange for love. Their love gave something for my siblings and I to strive for. My father was the type of man to stand for his beliefs, which he did. He taught me to do the same. My mother taught me to hold my head with pride and take the world head on. I don't know how I will live without them, their death is the ending of my childhood, my innocence," Julius uttered. Purebloods sat in their seats some sniffling with the idea of sweet Julius Gastor having to bear adulthood.

When Julius finished, each of her brothers went up. After them, some of her parents' friends spoke of memories with the two. Lily realized that she didn't know the man and woman these people spoke of.

Lily knew of a man who would hold her softly and whisper the names of the constellations to her. She knew of a man who would twist her into the air when he came home. She knew the man who balanced her on her first broom ride and let her soar into the stars. She knew a man named Dad, not the alien William Gastor these people spoke of.

She knew a woman who traced words in a book aloud to Lily's curious mind. Lily knew the woman who kissed her good night every night and whispered words of love in Greek. Lily knew a woman who smiled lovingly at her daughter picking her first owl. She knew a woman named mum, not the strange and foreign Delphina Gastor.

But they were the cold parents who glared down at her as she was banished. They were the distant and shameful couple that gave her up after her fall from their graces.

Tears watered in Lily's eyes unbeknownst to her. Sirius Black noticed and took one of his arms from himself, and gently laid it on Lily's shoulder. Lily was thankful for the embrace, it reminded her of her brothers' hugs.

Sirius's tapping at her shoulder broke her from her thoughts. Lily looked up and saw that the wizards were gathering around the coffins. The lids remained shut, at the request of the couple before their deaths. Lily nodded a thank you at Sirius as he strode away from her. She stood and walked towards the coffins.

Her brothers each took their wands and lowered the coffins into the grave, a pureblood tradition. Once they were in the hole, purebloods lined up to throw powered gold into the holes, a Gastor tradition.

Lily joined the line and grabbed a handful of powder from the basket, as she approached the holes butterflies seemed to swarm inside of her stomach. Lily pressed them away, and took each step with finality.

When she reached the holes, Lily gently poured powder into each, she refused to let the tears come and they did not. After her hands were empty, except for the light sparkle of gold on her hands, Lily didn't think of her parents as she stood before their graves, she thought about the golden sparkle in her father's eyes. She thought about the turquoise hue of her mother's warm eyes. She thought of a man and woman who were dead, and it didn't matter why.

But then the reality of the world crashed on her and she walked away from their graves, leaving her warm memories of a time when life seemed perfect behind.

* * *

Lily sat in her own house, unable to flee to her room. It was her fault why she could not go to her room. She still looked like Selena, and Lily wouldn't give Selena gossip for sneaking away in the Gastor Manor.

Lily sat in a seat inside of the Gastor Parlor. After the last ceremony, the entirety of the English purebloods had gone to the Gastor Manor for a quiet lunch and a meeting.

Lily looked up as she saw that most of the purebloods had gone into the formal dining room. She stood and followed their trail. The dining room was furnished with the Gastor's china and at least fifty purebloods descending from the élite holy seven, and a few other families thought of as the closer, but lower, rank.

The seats were labeled for who would sit where, but Lily ignored the labels and looked for her brothers. She saw Cassius speaking to a young man, and she went up to him.

" Cass, do you know where my seat is," she questioned. Cassius turned in surprise, but relaxed when he saw his sister's disguise.

" Pericles saved you a seat up in the front," he stated with a light smile. The person he was speaking to eyed Lily curiously.

"Cassius aren't you going to introduce me to your friend here," he said. Lily looked up at the person for the first time. The man next to Cassius had clean slate blond hair and blue eyes. He had the same build that Cassius had, tall and muscular.

" This is my mother's goddaughter Selena Kingsmill. Selena this is Evan Rosier, he is Lucian's girlfriend's brother," Cassius announced. Lily could see the easy French traits common in the Rosier family. Evan had the standard sky blue eyes and light blond hair. Yet something stood out about him. He had a light glow that gave him away.

" You are part Veela aren't you," Lily said. Evan looked shocked. He tugged on his wand self-consciously.

" Yes my grandmother was a Veela," he responded. Lily nodded and looked away as she heard Julius announcing for everyone to take his or her seat.

" It was grand meeting you," Evan said lightly. Lily gave him a light smile and followed Cassius to their seats. Julius sat at the front seat, with Pericles and Lucian flanking him. Following him were Cassius and Jason. On Jason's right was an empty seat. Lily walked over to it and sat in it. Jason was lounging in his seat, talking to a wizard sitting two seats down. Lily sighed and saw that her brothers were occupied. Lucian caught her glance and sent a comforting smile back.

" Excuse me miss but what is your relation to the Gastors? Most of the people here haven't seen you before, are you from a different descent," a nosy witch pointed at Lily. She sat over ten seats away from Lily, but many of the people there stared at Lily in curiosity. Lily blushed but held her ground.

" I'm not from around here. My mother and Mrs. Gastor were schoolmates, Mrs. Gastor was my godmother," Lily murmured. The people around her looked at her in surprise.

A pureblood's godparents were considered as their parents most trusted companions. Lily's godfather was Mousier Auclair and the late Madame Auclair was her godmother.

" Interesting, what is your name young one," a middle age wizard voiced. Lily glanced at him and answered.

" Kingsmill, Selena Kingsmill," Lily responded. She saw the witches and wizards smile greedily with the idea of having a new set of genes for the pureblood families. Lily shivered with revulsion and looked away.

Luckily for her, the house elves had just finished preparing the lunch. Lily grabbed the ornate salad bowl and severed herself. She ate quietly and let the conversations around her continue. Lily looked around her and saw a pair of stormy silver eyes. She smiled and made contact with them. The owner sent a smile back at her. Lily never expected to be saved from boredom by Sirius Black.

He motioned towards the wizard sitting next to him. The wizard was a round man consuming everything in sight. Lily giggled when she saw Sirius mimic an elephant.

Jason looked over at her, startled at the sight sound of Lily's laugh. He looked at what Lily was laughing at.

" I see you have met Sirius," he mused. Lily looked at him startled. Sirius watched the two of them curiously.

" Yeah I sat near Sirius at the funeral," Lily answered. Jason nodded. He looked conflicted.

" Just be careful around Sirius. He is a bit of a man whore, but a lovable one," Jason stated uncomfortably.

"I can take care of myself Jace, I've done it for five years," Lily answered flippantly. Jason looked at her as though she had punched him in the gut. Pain and suffering burned in his eyes. Yet as quickly as the pain came, it faded away.

"Lils you need to know that I never wanted you to go. But it was for the better," Jason uttered.

" Jace, we aren't family, we haven't been a family for five years. Now if you will excuse me, I'm feeling suffocated by the amount of bigotry in this room," Lily croaked. She abruptly turned from him and walked from the room.

Lily saw that Sirius Black was following her so she sped up. Lily ran through the house and eventually reached the entrance.

"Hey where are you going," Sirius questioned from across the entrance hall. Lily's hand was on the doorknob and she silently cursed.

" I can only take so much of pureblood gatherings before I break," Lily answered. She turned and saw that Sirius had run up to her.

" Why don' we take a walk then," Sirius suggested. Lily nodded her head and opened the door of the house. They walked out into the winter midday without a look back.

"So what's it like at Hogwarts," Lily questioned Sirius. They were sitting in a park in Manchester. The Sun had settled low in the sky and snow shone on every surface. After leaving the Gastor Manor, the two had walked into the woods and eventually reached Manchester. They were sitting in a small park on the fringes of the city.

" Its great. Blimey I could not imagine a life not there. There's something special about it. Its got this glow, it could make anyone feel at home," Sirius responded. Lily nodded and looked up at the dusk sky.

" Its dusk. My godmum used to tell me this story. You know the one about the three Peverell brothers? Right so my godmum told me that Dusk was when death greeted the third brother with an embrace for a friend," Lily mused.

" I never understood what that meant, I swear my godmum was just blathering some pureblood nonsense to me half the time," Lily chuckled. Sirius turned to her and had a question on the tip of his tongue.

" Were you particularly close to the Gastors, "Sirius asked. Lily looked up to the sky and responded.

" I once was when I was younger, but then something happened a few years ago. My mum is too ill to make the journey here, so I volunteered," Lily answered. A twinge of pity entered her heart as she thought of poor Mrs. Kingsmill, suffering from a terminal illness.

" Do you know about Jason's sister by any chance," Sirius questioned. Lily looked at him startled, did he know who she was.

" You see, I know that Jason had this sister, cause he and his brothers used to talk about her all the time. But right before we went to Hogwarts he stopped. Same with the other brothers. I think last year we were playing truth or dare with some Veristaserum we knicked from ol' sluggy and we finally asked him about his sister. He told us that she was gone and wasn't coming back. It made us assume that she was dead," Sirius mused.

" I'm sorry I did not know that they even had a sister," Lily lied. Sirius nodded.

" Its fine I guess it is not even my business," Sirius answered. The two sat in silence for a long time. Lily thought about the lies that were spinning into her life. Sirius thought about his responsibilities and what he owed to the world he lived in.

"Are you going back to Greece after the funeral," Sirius questioned.

"Yes, I am leaving before midnight," Lily answered. Suddenly, before he could say anything else, Sirius clutched his arm in pain.

" Holy Fuck," he muttered. He glanced at Lily and grabbed a mirror from his hand.

" Prongs! Prongs are you there," he shouted at it. Lily looked at him, was he drunk?

" Padfoot you felt it too? We have to go, tell me where you are, I'll apparate there and we can go," a voice shouted from the mirror.

" We have a problem, I'm in muggle Manchester, in a small park close to Jason's house," Sirius shouted.

" Why are you in bloody muggle Manchester! The dark lord is not going to be patient Padfoot," the voice shouted back. Lily took a deep breath. Realization hit her like a bullet.

" This always happens, god damnit! Whenever I meet a pureblood that seems okay, they've got to flash their bloody dark mark! Sirius you're a bloody death eater aren't you," Lily yelled at Sirius. She grabbed her wand and pointed it at him.

" Padfoot, who's that? Please tell me you are not on a date," the voice clamored from the mirror.

" Oh Merlin shut up for a second Prongs," Sirius shouted. He looked at Lily's wand and held his hands in the air. Lily looked at the mirror and saw a pair of hazel orbs, the second she looked at them they blurred from the mirror.

" Expelliarmus," Sirius shouted. Lily's wand flew into his hand. He grabbed his wand and pointed it at Lily.

" Selena calm down," He commanded. Lily scoffed. She couldn't do anything with him holding both of their wands, so she did the one thing she could.

" Sirius, I can't see. The world's spinning I thi-" Lily started. She pretended to fall into the ground in a faint. While her eyes were closed, Lily heard Sirius running up to her. She opened her eyes and met a pair of silver ones. Sirius was hovering above her. Lily pulled her knee up and shoved it up and into Sirius.

" Holy Merlin! Oh fucking hell," Sirius shouted suddenly. He clutched his groin and fell to the ground. Lily stood up and grabbed her wand from where he had dropped it.

She grabbed Sirius's sleeve and pulled it up. Lily's eyes net the writhing shape of the dark mark. She immediately stood and ran from the park.

* * *

Lily stood breathless when she reached the Gastor Manor. She hadn't stopped running ever since she fled the park. Lily leaned against one of the pillars that lined the house. The sun had disappeared from view, and the moon sat low in the sky. She brushed her hands through her hair and saw crimson.

The Polyjuice potion must have worn off Lily thought. She quickly braided her hair into a French braid and let it sit by her neck. She craned her neck towards the window and listened.

Lily could tell from the silence inside the house, that the purebloods had left after the late lunch. She thought about which ones were attending the death eater meeting and frowned.

She was so confused. England had not changed but she had. Lily wasn't the resilient girl who was banished for standing her ground. Lily was different. She understood that to support her cause, she would need to take a stand, but in a different way.

Lily stared at the night sky. The names of the stars on the tip of her tongue and the moon's light making her skin shine. Lily got up and walked over to the large door. She knew that only a Gastor could open the doors to the house and did so.

Lily closed the door behind her and looked around the house. She didn't hear anyone and the house was eerily pristine.

"Poppy," Lily called out. Immediately she heard a pop, and a house elf appeared before her. Poppy was wearing a red tea cozy and a pair of homemade shoes.

"Poppy is here! What does Miss. Lily want," the house elf announced. Lily smiled indulgently and answered.

"If it is not too much trouble, could you tell me where my brothers are," Lily questioned. Poppy looked conflicted for a moment but answered.

" The young masters ended the gathering when some of the men grabbed their arms, they told Poppy they would be back before tomorrow morning.

" Thank you Poppy that will be all," Lily answered. Lily heard a pop and Poppy left. She then walked up to her room and found Hestia waiting impatiently by her window. Lily ambled towards the window and opened it.

" Don't be so touchy Hest," Lily murmured. She untied the string from Hestia's leg and pulled an envelope from her and the daily profit. Lily walked to her desk and opened one. Two letters fell out, both with the Hogwarts crest. Lily picked the first one up.

The crest of Hogwarts stood out on the heading of the letter. Lily traced the crest and wondered why they were sending her a letter.

_Dear Miss. Evans,_

_We at Hogwarts are pleased to see that you are interested in attending our school. Mousier Auclair, a member of the Beauxabatons Education Board has informed us that your family has recently moved to England. Beauxabatons has sent us your transcript and we are thoroughly impressed. We hope that you will reply back informing us if you will attend our school._

_Sincerely,_

_The Hogwarts Board of Education._

Lily stared at the letter in shock, how did Uncle Darcy know her new name, she thought. She picked up the other letter and read it.

_Dear Miss. Evans,_

_My name in Albus Dumbledore, I am the current headmaster of Hogwarts school for witchcraft and wizardry. I have been informed of your interest on attending our school and would be interested in meeting you. If you can, please meet me in Hogsmeade, at the Hog's Head tomorrow at 3 pm._

_I look forward to meeting you,_

_Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore  
HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY  
Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,  
Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards_

Lily dropped the letter in shock. Her parents and brothers told her stories about the esteemed Albus Dumbledore. She remembered hearing about his battle with Gellert Grindelwald and his wisdom. But most importantly, Lily heard about his open heart and mind.

Lily grabbed a quill and scroll. She scrawled a quick reply to Dumbledore and tied it to Hestia leg. Lily opened the window and sent Hestia off with her future. She then went to the bathroom and took a quick shower, trying to wash the pressure of the past day from her shoulders.

Lily returned to her room and saw that she forgot the Daily Profit on her desk. She grabbed it and flounced on her bed. The headline stood out from the top of the paper, she continued to read the article below it.

_DEATH EATERS CONTINUE MUGGLE HATE ACTS ACROSS THE COUNTRY_

_Yesterday at noon, a group of almost twenty death eaters massacred a group of seventy muggles. The muggles were traveling aboard a train on its way to Manchester, and around noon the travelers felt the train stopping. A young muggleborn witch was aboard the train and assisted a few muggles aboard her train car get away. She then promptly continued to valiantly attempt to take the death eaters head on. Auror sources say that she subdued the death eaters for almost fifteen minutes. When the Aurors arrived, they saw the death eaters swiftly shooting killing curses at a remaining group of about thirty muggles. " They fell like pins," a junior auror source informed us. When the aurors reached the death eaters, the death eaters promptly apparated away. The young muggleborn witch managed to stun two of the death eaters, Abraxas Malfoy and Cygnus Black III. Both are waiting for the Wizengamot verdict. When reporters questioned the aurors on who the girl was, the aurors refused to answer. " She's been through a lot, poor Lils," Auror Tonks told us. Whoever Lily is, we at the Daily Profit recommend to keep an eye on her. (Cont. pg. 6)_

Lily groaned with annoyance and took a glance at who wrote the article. The name Rita Skeeter popped out at her. For some reason, Lily felt like that name would give her trouble in the future. She them slid under her covers and fell into a tumultuous sleep.

* * *

Lily viewed at the picturesque village surrounding her. Small bungalows sat next to each other. The shops had vintage signs with free sample sitting on the doorsteps. Lily ambled through the snowed frosted village admiring the afternoon sky.

The sun sat high in the sky, surrounding by puffy clouds. Snow fell in light showers down on earth. Lily heard the crunch of her boots hitting the snow. She glanced at a clock outside of a shop; it was a quarter to three. Lily came down to the village via floo, around twelve. She finished her Christmas shopping and explored the shops in the village. Lily decided that it was better to be early than late. She walked down the cobblestone-paved street towards the Hog's Head.

When Lily asked the villagers about the Hog's Head they looked at her as if she were crazy. " It's where magical creatures go for a traipse into normal society," one told her. Lily stood before a stone building with a rusting sign. She opened the door and heard the hinges squeak with protest. She walked into the pub with her figures crossed.

The pub had the standard booths and center bar. Yet the Hog's Head was a bit run down. The windows had a thorough layer of grease and the seats were sloppily cleaned. The mugs had stains on them, and the floorboards squeaked when walked on.

" Oi you there, what business do you have here," the barman yelled across the pub. Lily blushed but stood her ground.

" I have an appointment with Professor Dumbledore at 3," Lily responded. The bar man nodded and indicated for Lily to sit. Lily slid into a decent booth and idly twirled her wand.

Lily knew that purebloods tended to pay off the employees of the magical law enforcement department so their children could perform magic on their own. Lily wasn't sure if Julius had done that for her, but if yesterday's incident in the park had any purpose, it would be that Julius had done so.

Lily sighed and massaged her temples. Her brothers hadn't returned from their meeting until today morning. Lucian came to Lily's room to inform her that the Malfoys were hosting the annual pureblood Christmas ball tomorrow, which had a masquerade theme this year so Lily could attend without breaking her cover. Lily had not even realized that today was Christmas Eve and made an excuse to go to Hogsmeade for Christmas shopping.

Lily's fingers tapped against the table in frustration. Even when she was not longer a pureblood she still had to go to these trivial events. Lily despised the traditions the purebloods held. They were only done to make others feel inferior, Lily thought to herself.

" Miss. Evans," a voice said, interrupting Lily's internal ranting. Lily blushed and looked up. A wizard in dark blue robes stood before her. He stood tall and proud with a smile on his face. His eyes twinkled with intellect behind his spectacles. His hand encased a glorious wand. Lily immediately recognized who this man was, even though she never saw him before.

" Professor Dumbledore, its an honor to meet you," Lily stated. Dumbledore eyed her with a light smile and sat across from her.

" Its an honor to meet you too Miss. Evans. I have heard a lot about you, not only from my friends but from a recent article," Dumbledore proclaimed. Lily felt her skin flush with embarrassment.

" I never knew that people spoke about me," Lily muttered. Dumbledore appraised her with a gentle look in his eye.

" Ahh well that will change soon. Darcy Auclair was one of my brightest transfiguration students, I was proud to hear of his appointment in the French Ministry. He spoke of you with a certain admiration," Dumbledore responded.

" Oh, well I used to be close with his family, especially his son, Benedict. He fully supported my family's decision to move here," Lily answered. Her chest ached with the thought of the lie she told.

" Lily I want to know if you do attend Hogwarts things may seem a bit more difficult there. Unlike in France, bigotry is high in demand for England," Dumbledore stated.

" Yes, I know about Voldemort, but that doesn't change my mind about attending Hogwarts. In fact, it makes me want to go to Hogwarts even more. I need to show those standing against muggleborns, that where you come from doesn't make a difference," Lily expressed.

" I notice that you prefer to call the boy I knew to be Tom Riddle, by his new name. Most people avoid doing so," Dumbledore mused.

" I don't see a purpose in fearing a name, its like indulging him," Lily mused. Dumbledore watched Lily with precise eyes.

" Miss. Evans, I am proud to say that on January second, you will be welcomed to board the train to Hogwarts. I am sorry but I must take my leave now, if you ever need to stop by my office know that I always enjoy a good sugar quill," Dumbledore stated. He rose from the booth and held his hand out towards Lily. Lily shook it with a smile on her face, and watched as the wizard apparated away.

Lily rose from the booth, and walked out of the shop. She ambled through the streets of Hogsmeade in a dazed state. A flash of red caught her attention. Lily looked at the store. It was a Quidditch supply store called Splint witches. In the display box sat a broom.

The broom sat on a pedestal painting like the night sky. It expelled raw talent and control. It was lightweight, but could bear the pressure of its owner. Lily's eyes gleamed as she imagined riding that broom.

" It's a bloody great broom! The newest model released by Nimbus, the Nimbus 1500," a voice excitedly yelled next to Lily. Lily looked to her side, and saw a man decked in Puddlemere United merchandise. He eyed the broom and sighed.

" But only a king could afford that broom! Hasn't even hit the market yet, the store here, its owner is siblings with one of the top guys at Nimbus. They got a shipment of about three of these brooms. I would die to get one," the man sighed. He walked away but Lily didn't notice.

She thought about her Moontrimmer back in France, she had it for over ten years; it had been her first broom to ever fly, and the one that got her the seeker spot on Beauxabatons team. Maybe it was time to try something new though.

Lily opened the door of Splint Witches, thanking her earlier move to take 2000 galleons from the Manor. Julius would never notice though, he's got piles of them scattered everywhere.

Immediately a wave of joy hit her. She could see the team merchandise and the Quidditch Equipment from where she stood. Lily saw a poster of Julius near the chaser equipment. Lily wondered how Julius was able to get a position on the team over seven years ago, and quickly become its captain. She brushed those thought from her head. Lily walked over to the counter where a cashier stood.

" Excuse me Peter," Lily questioned, reading the bored cashier's name tag. The cashier looked up and placed a fake smile on his face.

" That broom outside, in the display, how much is it," Lily asked. The cashier looked over to the display box and scoffed.

" Too much for a girl like you to afford," the cashier answered. Lily raised her eyebrows and pulled a sack from her expandable bracelet.

" Are you sure it's too much for me," Lily questioned placing the sack of galleons on the table. The cashier's eyes widened as he called his manager over. A large man arrived and the cashier pointed at the sack wordless. The manager saw the sack and his eyes ogled the money. Lily watched the two with a rueful look in her eye.

" Excuse me Miss what will you be buying today, " the man started graciously.

" The broom on the window display. I believe it is a Nimbus 1500," Lily answered.

" That's a great choice. We had three of them today morning, and two of them were bought, I guess the third will be as well. The broom hits the market in September," the manager squeaked.

"Peter go and retrieve the broom for the girl," the manager barked. Lily watched Peter slap a pair of gloves on and rush over to the display box.

" The broom's never been touched by a person before, it's handcrafted, but the builders wore gloves while manufacturing it," the manager boomed.

Lily nodded and watched Peter place the broom in a broom case; he brought it over and lay it carefully on the table.

" Miss the broom's price is 1800 galleons," the manager stated.

" That's fine, here, and keep the change, consider it a Christmas bonus," Lily murmured. She tossed the bag of Galleons towards the manager; he ran his hands through the gold coins. Lily gently grabbed the broom and walked outside. She saw that a crowd appeared and was watching her.

Lily removed the casing around the broom and studied it. It was made from a deep chestnut wood, which was recently polished. The tail twigs were made from a rich hazel wood and shone with glory. Lily gently placed her fingers around the broom grasping it in her hand.

Immediately it vibrated acknowledging its first owner. Lily glided her fingers over the broom and felt it apprise her. She smiled and leaped onit.

The broom shot into the sky at Lily's command. This was so much better than riding the cheap Silver Arrows the Gastors had conveniently place around Manchester.

Lily's heart race as she spun in the sky. She could feel people watching her, and for once she reveled in it.

Lily was flying on her broom watching the sunset. Oranges mixed with vibrant pinks in the sky next to her. After flying home from Hogsmeade, she raced up to her room, dumping everything she bought in Hogsmeade there and sliding into her Quidditch gear.

Lily ran outside to the Gastor Quidditch pitch and slid into it. The Pitch had a charm preventing snow from covering it. It was almost the size of a professional pitch, and was a Christmas present to the Gastor children when Lily was three.

She remembered hazy recollections of watching Julius, Pericles, and Lucian fly on their brooms. When she was five, her father snuck her to the pitch on her birthday, and gave her the Moontrimmer, which had started everything.

Lily grabbed her Nimbus and glided her fingers against the wood, this was going to be the first time she rode something other than her Moontrimmer, which was back in Beauxabatons, on her family pitch.

Lily took a deep breath and leaped on the broom. She soared into the sky and felt the wind against her braided hair.

Lily smiled remembering the apprehension she had to ride the Nimbus. Now she sat poised on her broom catching her breath. Lily saw a figure on the pitch, and hid behind one of the posts.

The person had a broom in his hands and leaped on it. Lily recognized his golden laugh and sped towards him. He held a quaffle in his hands. He threw it towards the middle hoop in the pitch.

Lily raced towards the quaffle and grabbed it, altering its path. The boy looked surprise and flew towards Lily.

" Well look at this, little Lily's finally got some skill," Julius taunted with a smirk. Lily growled and raced towards the opposite set of hoops. Julius sped after her.

Lily leaned against her Nimbus coaxing it forward. When she got a good view, Lily shot the quaffle into the rings. It soared into the one on the right. She turned and faced Julius.

" I dunno Julius, maybe you never had any," Lily taunted. Julius laughed and responded back.

" Lily, which one of us is currently playing for Puddlemere United and the National Quidditch team? I think that would be me," Julius answered. He looked at his watch.

" We should head in, it's almost time for Christmas Eve dinner," Julius suggested. Lily nodded and shot down towards the ground. She leaped from her broom and summoned the quaffle from behind the rings. Julius languidly flew down and watched her close all the equipment.

" What position do you usually play," Julius questioned. Lily looked at him in surprise. Julius was locking the door to the pitch and the two walked down the path to the Manor.

" I played seeker for one of the teams at Beauxabatons," Lily answered. Julius nodded thoughtfully.

"Lily, Benedict sent a letter to Jason," Julius started. " He told him about your plans to go to Hogwarts, I just don't think that's a great idea. You've been doing so well at Beauxabatons, and in England people feel differently about political issues," Julius stated.

" Julius I'm not ten anymore, I know about the prejudice towards muggleborns. You don't want me to go to Hogwarts, because if I do then I could embarrass the family. I already have, that muggleborn witch in the daily profit, that's me! I got two loyal death eaters arrested and I am not ashamed. Julius, I was already accepted to Hogwarts and I am going. Don't worry about me embarrassing the Gastor name, I won't be one for long," Lily snarled at him.

She jumped on her broom and flew away. Lily could ear Julius shouting for her to get back. Lily flew near her bedroom window and opened it. She climbed inside and went to the bathroom.

Lily took a shower trying to get everything from her. She felt suffocated. Tear sprang in her eyes but she refused to let them fall, Lily had not cried since the day she was sent to France.

Lily exited the shower and shoved a pair of yoga pants and an Appleby Arrow's shirt on. She let her hair down in wet curls. Lily walked over to the door and debated whether she should go down to dinner.

Its not fair to punish the others for Julius's idiocy, Lily thought. She sighed and left her room, walking to the informal dining room.

She slid into the seat next to Jason and noticed that Julius was not at the table.

" Where's Julius," Lily questioned. The others looked up from their food and Cassius answered her.

" He's got some Christmas Eve Quidditch Ball with his team," Cassius replied. Lily nodded and served herself.

" While you were at Hogsmeade, Julius, Lucian, and I attended the reading of the will," Pericles said. Lily looked up in surprise.

" So what happened," Lily questioned. Pericles gave Lucian a look and he nodded.

" Since Julius, Pericles, and I are of age we don't need a legal guardian. We decided that it would be best for Pericles and Julius to each take custody of one you," Lucian answered.

" But then one of us is left," Jason pointed out. Lily felt a burst of excitement surge through her, that person could be her. If it were then she would be free.

" No, since Julius is off-season now, he volunteered to take two of you, since Cassius will be turning 17 in two months. I have custody of Lily and Julius has custody of Jason and Cassius," Pericles announced. Lily felt a small pop of disappointment, but remembered that it was better Pericles than Julius.

" We all have rights to the Manor and country house in Scotland. Julius and I have control of the Bank account at Gringotts, and Lucian will get control when he graduates. You each get an allowance per month. All of the international properties were divided evenly between us, except for one," Pericles stated.

" Mum requested that her family villa in Greece goes to Lily along with access to the family jewelry," Pericles finished. Lily was stunned, she didn't consider that her mother would remember her love for the Mediterranean house in Greece.

" Did they say anything on my banishment," Lily questioned. Pericles pulled something from his pocket and handed it to Lily.

" No they didn't, but Father left a letter for you with the will," Pericles said. Lily took it from his hands.

" I'm going to my room, to read it," Lily muttered. She fled from the room and felt eyes bored on her back, some of pity and some of envy.

The envelope lay on Lily's desk unopened. It bore the golden Gastor crest and was a creamy white. It was addressed to Lily Marie Gastor, but Lily felt like it wasn't for her. Lily had not spoken to the man who wrote the letter in five years, yet the letter still mattered to her.

She wasn't scared. If the letter forbade her rom staying in England she would ignore it. If it gave her father's blessing it still would not matter. Lily did not need the opinion of William Gastor to choose her fate.

Why should she let a letter decide her fate? Whatever was in that letter would not change her decision to go to Hogwarts, so it didn't matter if she opened it or not. Lily

took the letter and tapped her bracelet. She pressed it against the bracelet and felt it go into the charm hanging from the bracelet where it would stay until Lily cared to open it.

* * *

R&amp;R

-Rin Blake


	2. The Beginning of the End

**Chapter 2 The Beginning of the End**

**(Hello Goodbye)**

* * *

Lily eyed her partner; she looked at his hazel eyes and swore that she had seen them before. She felt him look down at her and blushed scarlet.

" You've got quite expressive eyes," the man commented. Lily eyed his hazel eyes thoughtfully. She was dancing with a complete stranger. But a masquerade ball entitled that.

Unlike muggles, purebloods like the Gastors preferred to open their presents on the day after Christmas, and instead spent Christmas preparing for the annual pureblood ball in the evening. Every year the family hosting the ball would be randomly selected as well as the theme. Unluckily for Lily, three days after her return, she was forced to slather jewels and a dress on for the dance.

Lily was wearing a set of Emerald Green dress robes that brought out her eyes. They were sleeveless, with two sets of crossing straps keeping them up. The dress reached her shoes, which were a pair of black low-heeled shoes. Lily wore a sole necklace and a pair of ruby earrings.

After arriving to the ball with her brothers, a mask popped on her face. It matched her dress. Her brothers had spread across the ball. Lily could hear Julius's laugh as he joked with Helena Bulstrode, a former schoolmate of his. She could see Pericles speaking with a pair of elder purebloods. Lily glanced over her partner's should and saw Lucian dancing with Eliza Rosier, his betrothed and Cassius with his, Natasha Goyle. Jason sat in a corner with a few friends from Hogwarts.

" I'm dancing with Christmas," her partner mused. Lily looked up and glanced curiously at him.

" Your eyes and hair. Even your dress and earrings make you look like the epitome of Christmas," her partner responded.

" Oh. Well if you're dancing with Christmas, then I'm dancing with the devil," Lily muttered. Her partner raised a sculpted eyebrow.

" The black tux, gloves, and mask are a tad overdone," Lily explained. Her partner let go of her. He grabbed his gloves from his hands and threw them on the ground. A pair of large, tan hands grabbed Lily and brought her back into his embrace. Lily felt a bolt of electricity race through her when his skin touched her. He must have felt it too, Lily thought appraising his shocked look.

" Happy?" her partner questioned choosing to ignore what just happened. He had a deep voice that vibrated gently. Lily looked at his tan skin and compared it to her skin. His skin shone with a sun-like glow, while hers glimmered with the gentle embrace of the moon.

" Very," Lily murmured. Her head reached his chest and she leaned against it. He held her closer and they danced lightly to the music. Normally Lily would not act so comfortable around a pretentious pureblood, especially one she didn't know. But something about him felt right. She remembered being abandoned by her brothers at the start of the ball, and making eye contact with the tall dark stranger across the ballroom. Lily's feet carried her to him, as did his.

She listened to the deep notes of the symphony being played live. Lily hummed the melodic notes against her partner's chest.

" Faust Symphony composed by Franz Liszt," her partner mused. Lily looked up and stared at him.

" So you know your basic Romance Composers, congratulations," Lily responded. He smiled with a rueful tense.

" Give me some credit, I'm sure I was the only person paying attention to the music tutor for young pureblood boys. The others fell asleep before we even started the Baroque era," he revealed.

" That's a great accomplishment," Lily sarcastically responded. He stared at her shocked.

" Every pureblood girl I know had their sarcasm and wit drained out in their childhood," he responded.

" Well thankfully I don't know you," lily shot back cheerily. Before he could respond a voice interrupted.

" Attention, Attention all. Yes thank you. My family and I would just like to thank every pureblood in this room for attending this ball. Now, I would like to have a moment of silence for my late friend and colleague William Gastor, and his wife Delphina. Both gave our community valuable assets and devoted their lives to being proper purebloods," A robed blonde wizard announced. Lily looked at him and gasped.

" What's wrong," her partner whispered in her ear. His deep voice sent shivers down Lily's back. Lily glanced around them and saw that Jason was staring at her with a smirk. She ignored him, for now.

" I heard that Abraxas Malfoy was going to Azkaban for that death eater attack," Lily sighed.

" Well with a bit of money and a good confundus charm, purebloods like Abraxas Malfoy can do anything," her partner answered. Lily looked at Abraxas with revulsion.

" He killed all those muggles and got away with it, how can you speak about it so calmly," Lily questioned with a raised brow.

" They are just muggles, its like go hunting, there's no difference," her partner scoffed. Lily stared at him in shock.

" Excuse me I 'm feeling a bit flustered, I think it's coming from your excessive ego," she said. Lily shoved her partner's hands away and slid out of the ballroom.

She fled into the garden behind the manor. Lily sat on a stone bench surrounded by Casablanca Lilies. She watched a beam of the moon's light hit one and the closed petals swirl open.

Lily reached down to one of the flowers and tapped its petals. Immediately the flower bloomed into a huge flower.

" I almost forgot that story," a voiced stated calmly from behind her. Lily recognized the deep notes and sighed.

" Mum would curse you from her grave if she heard you say that Jace," Lily responded.

" Well its good I never did then," Jason replied. He sat on the bench by Lily and twirled a strand of her hair around his finger.

" Tell me the story of the moon and a girl named Lily," he said nostalgically. Lily glanced at him. Tears brimmed in his eyes. She never considered how Jason felt about their parents' death.

" Centuries ago, a girl ran through a field of flowers. The sun was low in the sky, and as it set, this girl noticed that the flowers began to wilt. When the moon sat high in the sky, the flowers wilted and cowered. The girl didn't understand why the flowers thrived in the harsh embrace of the sun but suffered in the gentle embrace of the moon. But it was only a girlhood thought. Years later, the girl grew into a woman and war came. When fire struck her home, she courageous gathered her people and took them to a field of her childhood. But sadly, the war was there. In the daylight, she saw her family and friends die. When a spell hit her, her blood fell on the petals of the flowers around her. When the moon rose, the battle ended. Yet the flowers did not wilt. They bloomed and shone with the strength of the fallen girl celebrating her bravery. When day came they remembered the girl's death and grieved. These flowers were no longer normal flowers they were moon lilies. Hours later, the girl's brother returned from the battle battered and bruised, only to find everything and one he knew dead. He saw the girl's body in a patch of blooming flowers. He took her memory into his name to commemorate her bravery, and that is why mum's family was the tragic yet beautiful house of Lilius. The female descendants of him were always stronger at night and were more connected with their magic. And that's why I was named Lily," Lily told Jason. She felt him lean against her in the middle of her story, and the wet trail of his tears.

She reached down to some of the flowers in front of them and gently tapped them.

"Ipomoeas," Jason murmured. Lily watched the flowers bloom and a sweet scent hit her.

" Mum was named for them, Delphina Ipomoea Gastor," Jason revealed. Lily nodded and tapped random petals watching the flowers open and close. It was like a silent symphony, each flower opened at a different speed and bloom.

" How did you feel about the man you were dancing with earlier," Jason questioned.

" At first he was amazing, almost changed my opinion on purebloods," Lily joked. Jason watched her carefully.

" I dunno, he just revealed his inner ass and I left," Lily sighed. Jason nodded and looked at his watch.

" Its getting late, and I would prefer the rumors of Jason Gastor sneaking off with a rebellious redhead to a minimum," Jason joked. Lily laughed and grabbed his outstretched hand; together they walked back into the manor leaving a silent symphony in their wake.

" Lily we're going to the station in five minutes with or without you," Pericles yelled. Lily scrambled to accio all of her belongings into her bracelet. She sent Hestia to the castle the day before with her broom and looked around her bare room.

" Calm down Pericles, I 'm putting a bra on," Lily shouted. She heard her brothers muttering loudly.

" Umm take your time," Cassius shouted back embarrassed. Lily smirked and closed the door behind her. She walked down the step of the Manor and saw her brothers standing in a group by the door to the house.

" Ready to go," Julius said. Lily nodded and grabbed Pericles' hand. She felt a tug at her naval and the world spun from view.

Lily opened her eyes and met the sight of the glossy red Hogwarts express. She saw that reporters and girls were swarming her brothers. She gave them a cheeky smile and strode towards the train.

Lily turned and gave Julius and Pericles a good-bye waves as she boarded the train. They waved back, and the cameras swarmed to see whom the elder Gastor brothers were waving at.

She sat in an empty compartment and mulled over the past days. After the ball, She spent her holiday breaking in her new broomstick and reading the Hogwarts curriculum. Pericles warned her about the OWLS and advised for her to start studying.

Unlike the other Gastor brothers, Pericles was place in Ravenclaw, Julius joked about how he always knew that Pericles was a nerdy little riddle solver.

Lily smiled at the thought of her brothers' banter. She felt a pulling sensation and saw that the train started moving.

" Oi guys no one is sitting in here," a boy shouted holding the door open. He entered the compartment and saw Lily. Lily looked at him. He had dark brown hair cropped close to his temple. He stood almost 6 ft. His tanned skin indicated that he was constantly in the sun. He had pools of ebony eyes.

" Sorry do you mind if my friends and I sit here," he questioned Lily. He had a strong Scottish accent that complimented his manners.

" No not at all," Lily answered. He opened the door and a group of eight witches and wizards entered the compartment. They sat everywhere but the one seat next to Lily, which he took. His body brushed Lily's and she faced the people in the compartment.

" I'm sorry, but you don't look very familiar. Which house are you in," a girl with long honey hair announced. She was sitting across from Lily. She had a lean body, and blue eyes. A boy sat next to her with his arm slung casually around her shoulder, he was speaking to the boy next to Lily about the Cannons game the day before. But when the girl directed a question to Lily every person in the compartment faced her.

" I transferred from Beauxabatons over the break," Lily answered as a light blush traveled up her throat.

" Well then some introductions are in order. The girl across from you is Alice Longbottom, I mean Prewitt, but not for long. Hey watch the finger Frank there are women in here. Next to her is her future husband Frank Longbottom. Oi, Frank damnit Frank that is my Quidditch arm. Next to him is Marlene McKinnon, watch your back around her; she's got a wicked stinging hex. Oh across her is Emmeline Vance, she's dating Marlene's brother Adam whose sitting next to her. Across from him are the Prewitt twins, Gideon and Fabian. Alice is their cousin. And across from Gid, is Benjy Fenwick. We're a big happy family, the nine of us," the boy next to her introduced.

Lily recognized Alice, Fabian and Gideon's last name, since they were also part of the holy seven. Lily was sure that Longbottom was also in it. She was almost certain that she had seen someone with Marlene's electric blue eyes at the funeral. The McKinnons, Prewitts, and Longbottoms were known for not standing with other purebloods in the anti-muggle stand. Yet they held the same pureblood traditions.

Lily also recognized the name Vance, she remembered a witch complaining how the Vances were taking a stand against Voldemort. Lily decided that she would give Emmeline Vance a chance.

" And the arse sitting next to you is Michael Wood. I would recommend avoiding him at all times," Alice announced, interrupting Lily's train of thought.

" You speak like she's still got a chance of avoiding me," Michael joked. Lily gave him a shy smile, and he grinned.

" Look I've already won the girl's acceptance," Michael crowed.

" Frank let's go there's a prefect meeting and I can only take so much of Michael's ego," Alice announced dragging Frank from the room.

" Guys you forgot me and Dor-" Benjy started. His voice died out before he could finish. Fabian gave him a glare and patted Gideon on the back with comfort.

Benjy gave him an apologetic look and left. Lily watched the scene with light interest.

" Sorry about that Benjy's not the most careful bloke," Marlene told Gideon. He nodded and returned his attention to a textbook in his lap.

" So Michael did you hear who's the new captain," Adam said attempting to break the silence.

" No, McGonagall and Oliver refused to tell anyone," Michael said with annoyance.

" I'm putting my money on either me or you," Adam said.

" It's not going to be me, Oliver was into that entire oldest member get's the place imperative," Michael refused.

" Yeah but you're the one with the pep talks and plans," Adam argued. Lily watched them with interest.

" Let's say one of you is captain and can get the team back into playing after Oliver's leave. It won't change that we can't play without a seeker. And our reserve was Dorcas," Gideon stated calmly. Every set of eyes in the compartment jumped to his figure in shock.

" Oh fuck the lot of you. Every last one of you tiptoed around Dorcas's death all break and I am sick of it. Get over it, she's dead and not coming back, Dorcas Meadows is dead," Gideon pronounced. He got up and exited the cubicle abruptly.

" I don't want to be rude, but who is, I mean was Dorcas Meadows," Lily questioned. Four sets of morose eyes flew to her. Marlene was the first to respond.

" She was a 5th year Gryffindor who was killed in the attack on Hogsmeade two weeks before break. She was the prefect and my closest friend," Marlene replied.

" There was an attack on Hogsmeade," Lily questioned. Her eyebrows furrowed with confusion. Why would Dumbledore want to meet in a village that was attacked weeks ago?

" Yeah, about ten student died, and another ten were pulled out of school by their parents. Death eaters stormed the town killing anyone with muggle blood; Dorcas was a half blood so they thought she was a bloody animal. Gideon and her were on a date in the Three Broomsticks. She was crucioed until the aurors showed up. Then she was killed. Dorcas didn't deserve that, Gid doesn't deserve this," Fabian answered.

A silence filled the compartment. Lily thought about how close the war was. How even those protected in the walls of Hogwarts were in danger. She looked at the people around her were children, like her, they weren't ready to enter adulthood, yet they had.

Alice, Frank, and Benjy slid into the compartment a few minutes after the conversation. No one spoke; instead they tried to appreciate the quiet while they still could.

Lily analyzed each one of them. Marlene leaned against Fabian wearily. She had dark circles under her eyes, but wore a tired smile as Fabian stretched his arm around her shoulder. Fabian had a light twinkle in his eye as he held Marlene. The two soon began to doze off against each other. Lily smiled and could see that even in these dark times there was always love.

Benjy was so unlike her Benjy. He had a pair of glasses perched on his nose, guarding his gray eyes. His skin was a peach with a few new scars. He had his hair cropped close to his forehead; it was a mix of coffee and flaxen blond. He leaned on his armrest twirling his wand in his hand. Lily saw that there were several lines on his face that shouldn't be there for someone so young.

She looked across from her and saw Alice and Frank looking out the window. The two switched seats so Alice could sit on Frank's lap as they gazed at the midday sky. He whispered something in her ear, making her smile and look up at him. Lily looked away trying to give them some privacy.

Adam McKinnon had Emmeline Vance curled up on his lap. He was playing with her hair as she held open a book for the two of them to look at. Lily caught a glance at it and saw that it was a defense against the dark arts textbook. Adam stretched his chin over Emmeline's head and read with her. But they were in the middle of a war. Lily could see the toll of the war, when she saw a bandage wrapped around Adam's arm.

" He got it during the attack on Hogsmeade. Decided to be a hero and protect a bunch of third years, got them and a gang of fourth years into an underground tunnel to Hogwarts. Instead of leaving with them, he went back into the battle, and took a death eater on. Got sliced by a cutting jinx, before the aurors showed up. I'm almost positive the death eaters didn't kill him since he's apart of that rubbish pureblood group close enough to the holy seven. My family's also in that group, but we are less traditional," Michael muttered in Lily's ear.

She looked up in shock and saw that Michael was sitting close to her. She could see swirls of gold in his brown eyes.

" Who are the holy seven," Lily questioned. She had to act stupid to seem muggleborn.

" Their the seven oldest pureblood families in England. The Potters, well Potter since people are betting when Dragon pox will bite Dorea and Charlus, the Gastors, heard the parents died over break probably do some good to the world, I heard the dad was a death eater, the Blacks, Malfoys, Rosiers, Longbottoms, and Prewitts are but they are also the most egotistic lot in England, well excluding the Longbottoms and Prewitts," he answered.

" You seem to have some strong opinions about the Gastor family," Lily mused.

" The Gastors breed like rabbits, I think they have six kids in that family alone," he answered. Seven, Lily thought.

" I'm sorry but just out of curiosity what is your blood status," Michael questioned.

" A proud muggleborn from France," Lily answered wryly.

" Ah. Well I'm a hateful pureblood from Scotland," Michael said humbly. A silence fell over them, but it wasn't comforting. It was like an itch that had to be scratched.

" Anyways besides your immense distaste towards the holy seven what happened at Hogsmeade," Lily questioned trying to relieve the silence.

" It was a massacre that's what it was. At Hogwarts the teachers give third years and up a weekend every month to get some fresh air. We were on one of those weekends two weeks before the hollies. Us nine were all separated, like idiots. It started off as a normal day, but around noon the air got really cold. I was with Marley and Benjy in the three broomsticks. I remember this horrible feeling come over me. One second we were talking about the game against Slytherin the next weekend, the next we were all curled into balls shivering," Michael started.

" Dementors," Lily murmured.

" Precisely, only we didn't realize that. Rosmerta the barmaid did. She started evacuating all students in fourth and third year, took them to the same secret passage to school as Adam did. I ran outside with Benjy and Marley. I can still see these giant cloaked beings swarming in the sky. All of a sudden they shot down grabbing random students and sucking their faces. Then these swirls of black appeared, dark apparition. The death eaters shot from the sky. There were about fifty of them. They marched from store to store, massacring students. But something was off. We only noticed later that they didn't kill any purebloods, only stunned ones that got in their way. Anyways, so suddenly we saw Emmy, Adam, Frank, and Alice run out of Zonko's from their double date. They stood in this formation so that someone always had their back. I remember looking at Marley an exchanging this crazed look. We grabbed Benjy and sprinted over to the others. We joined their formation and started shooting spells at the death eaters. I think we got at least five of them stunned and on the ground. But we started to fall. One shot this hell of a cutting jinx at Adam and he fell. Then some Dementors noticed us and started to attack Frank and Benjy. But we stood strong. Alice screamed this bloody spell and a huge leopard came from her wand. It got the Dementors off of all the students standing within about a mile of us. Then things changed. I saw a whole group of fourth and third years standing in a group surrounded by death eaters. They were torturing them, I'm pretty sure that the kids were muggleborns and half bloods. I remember watching this group of seventh years march up to them and start dueling them. Then the aurors showed up I thought we were saved but we weren't. I heard this horrible scream come from down the street. Marley ran from our group, I think she recognized it. We forgot about her and continued fighting. When the death eaters saw the aurors, they fled and same with the Dementors. The aurors caught about seven of them. We thought we were saved but then Fabian Prewitt came limping from the street with Marley in his hands. She had this huge gash on her head," Michael told Lily.

" The rest is kind of blurry. I remember that the aurors tried to touch Fabian, but he started screaming. Then they stunned him and took him, Adam, Marley, Frank, and Benjy to St. Mungos. Alice, Emmy, and I were still in Hogsmeade with the Aurors when we saw Gideon. He was drenched in blood and started limping from the same alley that Fab and Marley came from. When the aurors reached him he started convulsing on the ground screaming. But unlike Fab we could make out what he was saying. He was screaming Dorcas's name. The aurors went to the alley and found Dorcas's body there. Dumbledore showed up and some ministry officials did. They told us we were heroes, but I didn't care. Dorcas Meadows was dead and that's all that mattered," Michael finished. A tear slid down his face.

Lily instinctively pulled him in for a hug but he wouldn't let her hold him for long.

" Over break all of us went to her funeral but it was on the same day as the Gastor parents' funeral. We barely knew them so it wasn't a hard decision for which funeral we attended. But I guess that angered some of the purebloods. Two days later, Frank's dad, who was an auror, was found dead in his office. Fabian and Gideon's parents were both murdered. Our friend Oliver Waterford, the old Quidditch captain and seeker, came home to see that his pureblood dad and muggle mum were dead. He was offered a deal with the Appleby Arrow's and took it. I guess it was too much for him to stay at Hogwarts; his little brother was one of the deaths in the Hogsmeade attack. It was all a huge message. For Frank and the Prewitts the purebloods warned them to choose sides carefully. For Oliver it was a statement saying that he wasn't welcomed," Michael finished.

" Poor Frank. Poor Gideon and Fabian," Lily comforted. Her heart clenched with anger. So that was what her brothers were doing hours after their parents' funeral, murdering innocent people.

A silence fell over the group after Michael story, Lily was sure that the others were listening. Lily didn't say anything; she wanted to give them time to mourn. She looked out the window and saw the sun sitting low in the sky.

" Guys get changed we are going to be pulling up to Hogsmeade in ten minutes," Gideon gruffly announced from the door, interrupting the silence. He sat in the empty seat next to Fabian and stared out the window. Lily got up and followed Marlene and Emmeline to an empty compartment. She pulled her uniform from her bracelet and slid her clothing off.

" Lily what is that," Marlene said. She reached towards Lily's collarbone and touched the birthmark there. Lily cursed internally. She forgot to use a concealment charm on her Gastor birthmark, a gold star that every Gastor had somewhere on their body.

" Oh it's just a burn from when I was baking yesterday," Lily answered sliding her skirt over it. Marlene looked at her skeptically but let it go. The three girls changed in silence.

" Just wondering what year will you be in," Emmeline questioned. Lily looked towards her. Emmeline had steel-gray eyes and warm chestnut hair. Her skin was a light olive shade.

" I think 5th, I wasn't sorted yet though," Lily answered.

" Oh so you will be in Marley's class," Emmeline responded. Lily nodded and straightened her skirt. When Emmeline and Marlene were done changing, they walked back to their compartment.

" Lily we don't want to seem blunt but what's your heritage," Marlene questioned. Lily knew that this would eventually come up.

" Muggleborn and proud," Lily responded with a raised eyebrow.

" That's grand, just be careful in the castle, people aren't as open-minded here as they are in Beauxabatons," Emmeline said. The trio stopped in the middle of the hallway and didn't notice a group of boys approaching them.

" Oi McKinnon what about a hello snog for your fiancé," a boy shouted. Lily looked towards the group. They were all tall and walked with an aurora of elegance. Two led in front, and two in the back. Lily gasped when she recognized two of them.

Sirius Black was walking in the front sending perverted winks at Marlene. He was slouched, yet walked with confidence. Next to him stood a boy with chaotic ebony hair.

Lily had a strange feeling she had seen him before. The boy was tall, taller than Jason and the boy walking in the back. He stood a hair taller than Sirius. He ran a large tan had through his hair making it even untidier. Lily scowled at this. His eyes looked like a rich hazel from a distance, but as he approached Lily noticed specks of green and gold in them. His nose was a straight noble one that indicated he was a pureblood. He had high cheekbones and eyelashes that a girl would envy. His jaw line appeared to be carved by the angels. He had a deep tan and muscular, yet lean, physique. He caught Lily's glance and she looked away.

" Go sleep with one of your whores Black," Marlene snarled. Sirius walked up to her and placed an arm around her shoulder, while she fought him. The group of boys walked up to the girls.

Lily saw a boy with light russet hair. He was tall and extremely sinewy with pale had light blue eyes that made Lily think he had French ancestry. He looked agitated, as if he would prefer to blend into the background instead of deal with Sirius. But there was a flash of love in his eyes, that Lily noticed.

" Merlin's saggy bollocks! Marlene now you've got to kiss it better," Sirius whined. Lily watched Marlene smirk at her amazing stinging hex.

" I'm sure one of your groupies would love to," Marlene snickered. Lily smiled and saw that Jason was standing with an amused expression next to the pale brunette. He wore an amused expression on his face.

" Sirius the train's stopped, we wouldn't want to be left," the pale boy announced. Lily glanced outside and saw that students were exiting the train.

" I'm not moving until McKinnon kisses me," Sirius pouted. Lily rolled her eyes and watched Marlene's hand twitch around her wand.

" I would rather let you die," Marlene answered. She stepped over Sirius and indicated for Emmeline and Lily to follow.

Lily followed Emmeline over Sirius, but before she could, Lily felt her feet twist and her body about to hit the ground, but before it did, a pair of strong arms caught her.

" Oi Potter! Let go of her, what are you trying to do," Emmeline shouted. The boy holding Lily up righted her and reluctantly let go of her. Lily saw that Sirius was standing and harassing Marlene as they crossed the train doors.

" Lily let's go," Emmeline said. Lily nodded and walked with her. Behind her were the three boys who Sirius was with. Lily caught Jason's eyes and looked away. If she was going to keep her secret, then she would need to avoid her brother, Lily thought.

She and Emmeline spanned the door of the train and walked on the winter station. The moon sat low in the sky, its likelihood sending bursts of energy through Lily. She felt the crunch of snow as she walked over to one of the carriages with Emmeline. The carriages were a light blue. Lily could see at least twenty being led up the hill to the castle. There were only two carriages left and one was quickly filling.

She saw Marlene and Sirius in a carriage with a few stragglers. The carriage door shut as a rotund boy took the last seat. The carriage started to travel up the hill to the castle.

" Poor Lena, stuck in a carriage with Black," Emmeline muttered. Lily nodded and the pair walked towards the last carriage. Lily stopped as she caught sight of something.

" Lily what's wrong," Emmeline questioned. She stared at Lily in shock.

" Don't you see those things. There's something pulling the carriages," Lily questioned gesturing towards the carriage. From a distance the carriages appeared to be horseless, but up close Lily saw that something was pulling the carriage.

They were two midnight black forms with massive wings. The creatures had soulless black eyes and see through skin. Lily could see their leathery skin and shivered.

" Lily what are you talking about? Nothing's pulling the carriages, it's a known fact," Emmeline responded worried. Lily shook her head and caught the attention of the three boys approaching them.

" Looks like it's just the five of us in this carriage Vance," Jason announced. He skirted past the girls and sat in the carriage kicking his feet up. He didn't stop and stare at the beasts, making Lily think that he couldn't see them. The messy haired boy and the pale one followed him. The messy haired one stopped in front of one of the creatures and stretched his hand out.

"Miss me Tenebrous," he murmured. Lily watched him curiously. His eyes flickered to Lily as he felt her eyes bore into him.

" Can you see them too," Lily beseeched. He nodded and responded.

" They're called Threstals, only people who've seen someone die can see them," he replied. He gave the Threstal one last pat, and entered the carriage. Lily looked at the creatures and entered the carriage. She took the last seat in between Jason and Emmeline. Emmeline sat by the window trying to separate herself from the boys.

" Did you see the winged horses pulling the carriage," Lily whispered to Jason. The carriage door closed and it started moving. Jason looked at her skeptically.

" Nothing's pulling the carriages," he answered. Lily made a point to remember to research the beasts.

" So Vance, when were you going to introduce us to your friend here? I don't believe that I've seen her around the castle before," the hazel-eyed boy interrogated.

" Potter you're just interested in getting in her skirt," Emmeline shot back. He raised his eyebrows. Lily looked at the boy in recognition, so this must be the great James Potter, she thought.

" And you wonder why we call you the bitch of Gryffindor," he muttered. Jason laughed obnoxiously and sent the boy a high-five. Lily gave him a repulsed look and crossed her legs.

" So Vance any reason you and your friends weren't at my parents' funeral," Jason questioned.

" We had something more important to go to," Emmeline answered briskly.

" What could be more important than the funeral of two important figures in our society," Potter asked.

" You are such a hypocrite Potter! I heard from the pureblood gossip web that you didn't attend it," Emmeline shot back. A dark look covered Potter's face.

" Even though its none of your business Vance, I was with my parents, you know the ones on their death beds," the boys responded shortly.

An awkward silence fell over the group. Lily looked out the window and saw the massive and glorious Hogwarts Castle. It was a huge structure that left Lily speechless. She felt waves of warmth hit her.

" Lily we need to leave," Emmeline announced, breaking Lily from her trance. She felt a blush glow on her cheeks as she jumped out of the carriage. She followed Emmeline and felt the eyes of the boys on her back. Emmeline led her into the entrance hall of the castle. Lily looked around and saw portraits adorning the walls. A huge chandelier hung from the ceiling. Under it stood an elderly witch. She wore her hair a tight bun and was wearing royal blue robes.

" Miss. Evans where have you been! We have to have your sorting ceremony before anyone can eat. Ms. Vance reports to the Gryffindor table. Boys don't think this won't merit a detention, report to the Slytherin table immediately," the woman ordered.

Lily watched Emmeline and the group of boys enter the hall. They closed the door behind them before Lily could look inside.

" Miss, Evans my name is Professor McGonagall I'm the head of the Gryffindor house and the Transfiguration teacher here at Hogwarts, when we enter the Great Hall, you will be called to the Sorting Hat. It will sort you into one of the four house; Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, or Slytherin. Do you have any questions," The woman drilled. Lily shook her head and followed the woman into the hall.

Four tables were lined vertically, occupied by large mass of students. At each table and banner hung over a Crest. The students at a table had matching crests adorned on their cloaks and uniforms. At the front of the room was a horizontal table, with several witches and wizards sitting. In the front of the hall was a podium where Lily could see Professor Dumbledore. He winked at her, and made a move to speak. Immediately silence fell over the hall.

" Welcome back students. I hope that you had a good holiday and are ready to return to the textbooks," he joked. " Now to other matters, we have a new student attending our school, she is transferring from Beauxabatons. I expect you to treat her equally," He announced. Lily felt hundreds of eyes fly towards her and a deep blush set on her face.

" We will first sort her and then begin the feast," Dumbledore announced. He indicated for Lily to walk across the hall.

Lily took a deep breath and began walking down the hall. She could hear the whispers of the students around her. She chose to ignore them and walk straight towards the center of the hall. Professor McGonagall stood next to a stool holding a frumpy hat. Lily stopped as she took a seat on the stool.

" Lily Evans," Professor Dumbledore shouted. Lily saw that most of the people in the hall had blank stares, as they did not recognize her. But three sets of golden eyes stood out. They appeared anguished and lost. Lily looked away.

She felt Professor McGonagall place the hat on her head. " I haven't come across one of these in years," a voice crowed in her head.

"Is that the hat? Have I gone crazy," Lily thought.

" No not yet. Yes I am the sorting hat, the hat Godric Gryffindor took from is head and gave to this school for the greater good," the hat responded with a chuckle.

" You want answers I cannot give to you. I will tell you this, you have come a long way from the girl who fled England five years ago," the hat analyzed.

" How do you know about that," Lily demanded.

" I know every crevice of every student in this hall. I know your deepest desires and your greatest shames. That is why I was chosen to sort those worthy," the hat answered.

" Your mind tells me that you are curious, that you want to accomplish something, you want to learn Rowena Ravenclaw would be touched. Yet there is a wish to be loyal to love you want to work for something, very Hufflepuff. But there's darkness in you, your ability to lie about you identity so easily shows that. You are ambitious to get your goals, a Slytherin trait. But if I look closer at your memories and actions then I see what you really are. You've displayed courage and bravery that Godric Gryffindor would commend. You have the confusing mind Miss. Evans," the hat mused.

Lily opened her eyes and saw the hall staring at her curiously. Even Professor Dumbledore was eyeing her strangely. Lily wondered about how long her sorting was taking.

" I do apologize for the tenuous nature of your sorting. You have a slight aptitude for each house so I need to rule them out one by one. Ah there it is. You want to save the world don't you? You want to leave your fears behind and embrace courage. You want adrenaline to run through you veins as you protect the ones you love. You remind me of a boy I sorted many years ago, except he didn't have the raw will to battle his destiny; instead he let it rule him. I know just where you belong," the hat finished.

" GRYFFINDOR," the hat shouted aloud. Lily heard a deafening applause rise from the table under a gold and red banner. She took the hat from her head and handed it to Professor McGonagall. She turned towards the hall but before she could start walking to her new house, a voice interrupted her.

" Miss. Evans, I need to speak with you after the feast. Ask the head boy, Lucian Gastor, to take you to my office, he won't mind. Do remember my love for sugar quills," Professor Dumbledore quietly told Lily.

Lily nodded and started walking to the Gryffindor table. She saw an empty seat in between Michael Wood and Marlene McKinnon and slid into it.

" Congrats Lily, we knew that you wouldn't be a slimy snake," Benjy announced. Lily blushed, but before she could say anything Dumbledore began speaking.

" After everybody has eaten I have a few announcements. But for now, tuck in," he ordered. Food popped on top of the table. The hall burst into conversation. Lily started to eat her pasta and salad as she tuned out the Gryffindors conversing around her.

She looked around the hall trying to find the different houses. She assumed that the students sitting beneath the royal blue banner, with their heads ducked into books were the Ravenclaws. Lily could guess that the Hufflepuffs were the students sitting at a table that expelled an aurora of friendship.

Lily looked at the table sitting farthest from hers. An emerald-green and silver banner hung from the ceiling. Under it sat a group of students. Unlike the other tables, this one seemed to be occupied by students sitting with stiffly straight backs and low voices. They ate their meal with a certain arrogance and elegance. She caught a glint of gold and looked towards it.

Lily saw her brothers all sitting near each other. Their gold eyes were thrown back in laughter. Surrounding them was a group that was made from the highest purebloods. Lily saw Lucian making eyes at a girl sitting at the Ravenclaw table as he spoke with Evan Rosier and several other unrecognizable purebloods. Cassius sat with a girl next to him. From the gleam of her ebony curls and glittering silver eyes, Lily was positive that she was his girlfriend, Natasha Goyle. Sitting with him was a group of chatting 6th years. Lily felt eyes on her and jumped towards them.

She met the distant gold eyes of Jason. He was watching her while he sat with the boys he was with on the train earlier. He sat across from Sirius Black and the pale brunette. Next to him sat James Potter. Lily saw that girls from all tables glanced at the group of boys every few minutes, and she couldn't blame them.

The group sat together leaned back and nonchalant unlike those at their table. They oozed charisma and charm. Lily occasionally caught them sending winks and smirks at girls around them. Lily frowned when she saw Jason doing so. He caught her frown and laughed. This caught the attention of the other boys who turned around to see who Jason was granting his infectious laugh.

Lily looked away with a blush before they could see her. She caught flash of hazel as she turned.

" Lily did you even hear me," Alice demanded. Lily looked towards her and blushed.

" I think Lily was a bit preoccupied exchanging faces with Jason Gastor," Emmeline announced with a playful smirk. All of the eyes around them flew towards Lily, who blushed an even deeper crimson.

" Lils why would you stare at Jason Gastor when you have a gorgeous boy right next to you," Michael said. He threw an arm over Lily's shoulder. Lily felt several eyes fly towards her from other tables.

" I know that Adam's good-looking but sadly he's taken. Well for now," Lily joked. She gave Emmeline an evil look as Adam threw an arm over her shoulder.

" Oh Lily they've caught our love! I promise to break up with Emmy so we can be together," Adam jested with a smirk.

" It's okay Adam I was always in love with Benjy anyways," Emmeline answered with a sigh.

" But Emmeline, Benjy and I had kinky sex on the train he's mine," Lily joked. The entire group burst into laughter at Lily's dramatic show.

" But seriously Lily don't try do anything with Jason Gastor he's a bit of an egotistic man whore," Alice said in between giggles. Lily internally gagged at the idea of doing anything with Jason.

" Who are the boys sitting around him," Lily questioned.

" They call themselves the Marauders. You already know Jason right? Well across from him is Sirius Black, he's slept with almost every girl in our school above fourth year, and it's revolting. At least Jason makes trying to limit the chance of a Gastor bastard," Marley grumbled.

" Marley's just being petty since she and Sirius are in the eyes of pureblood society betrothed," Gideon answered. Fabian gave him a glare and slung an arm around Marlene's shoulder.

" It's a stupid tradition for purebloods to keep the lineage running. Besides Black's probably got a few STDs," Fabian grumbled. Marlene blushed and shoved his arm off of her.

" Anyways, next to Black is Remus Lupin, we wonder how he got sorted into Slytherin. He's too gentle for those bastards. Other than the fact that he's a Marauder and is from some French pureblood family he doesn't have a lot in common with his friends. Across from him is James Potter, the sole heir to the Potter family. And looking at the way his parents are going, looks like he'll be the only Potter soon enough," Marlene said promptly.

Lily nodded and mulled this over. She felt a prickling sensation on the back of her neck. She turned around and saw a pair of livid gold eyes staring at the arm Michael had slung over her shoulder. She saw Jason staring at her with his fingers clenched. His friends seemed to notice that he was upset and looked over at Lily. She blushed but stared back.

She made eye contact with Jason and saw him whisper something to his friends. He then looked at her and mouthed one word, mudblood. Lily gave him a disgusted glare and heard his friends hooting as she turned around.

Lily turned towards the Gryffindors and didn't look back.

Lily looked up as she saw the empty plates pop from the table. A gentle silence fell over the entire hall. She watched Dumbledore approach the podium in front of his seat.

" I hope that every person in this hall had a relaxing break. To the seventh and fifth years be warned your NEWTS and OWLS are approaching start studying soon. Now I have a more general announcement. After the attack at Hogsmeade, we've had a drop in students due to casualties and parents pulling students out. I must warm you; times will only get worse, a man by the name of Tom Riddle is storming the country, attempting to evoke a reaction from wizard kind. We must present an untied front to defeat him. Remember that we have strength in numbers. I am taking this into account. Due to drops in student numbers, your teachers and I are combining dorm arrangements. The first and second year Ravenclaws will room together, separated by genders of course. The third and fourth year Hufflepuff girls will room together, as will the boys. The 5th and 6th year Gryffindors will room together, boys and girls separate. The Slytherins did not have a loss in population so they will stay with their current room arrangements. Contact your house heads for further details. In a later note, a memorial was constructed for those lost in the attack, please visit the memorial. In a last note I have an announcement about Hogsmeade visits. We will be continuing the trips, but the village will be heavily guarded by aurors during them. Teachers will travel with students to the gates of the village. Be warned we recommend for students to take safety precautions, travel in groups and be ready to leave the village at any time. Other than that, I hope you all get a good night's rest," Dumbledore announced.

Lily saw the Gryffindor make eye contact at the mention of the rooming arrangements. But she ignored them; Lily listened to Dumbledore and watched as he dismissed the hall. Immediately her eyes searched the swarm of students leaving the Slytherin table, she caught sight of the Gastor golden hair and made her way over.

" Lily where are you going," Marlene yelled. Lily shot her a look saying she was fine and rushed over to the mop of Blonde hair.

" Lucian," Lily said as she tapped the boy on his back. He turned around with troubled eyes, which soften at the sight of Lily. Yet they hardened when he realized that he was supposed to hate Lily.

" Jason, sorry I thought you were Lucian," Lily muttered as she turned. She ran her eyes through the crowd of Slytherins trying to find the head boy. She caught sight of Lucian standing with a Blonde Ravenclaw. He held her so carefully that Lily immediately knew that she was Eliza Rosier, his betrothed. Lily made a move towards him, but before she could move an arm encircled her wrist.

" Not so fast, what are you doing on the other side of the hall little mudblood," a voice announced. Lily whipped around and met the stormy eyes of Sirius Black. A blush settled on her face as she heard the laughter of purebloods around her. She wrenched her arm from his grip and walked away. She could feel a gaze on her back as she walked over to Lucian.

Lily got a close look at Eliza Rosier. She had natural platinum blonde hair that curled at the bottom. Her blue eyes sparkled like an ocean. She was a head shorted than Lucian and held his golden hand in her flawless cream one. Lily could feel the Veela genes expelling from her as several boys glanced at Lucian jealously.

Lucian looked up and saw Lily with a frown settling on his face. He whispered something to Eliza who nodded and gave him a peck on the cheek before walking off with a group of Ravenclaws.

" Lucian, Dumbledore said that you would take me to his office," Lily told him as she approached him. She could feel the curious stares of Cassius and Jason as they watched Lucian speak with their estranged sister.

" Lets go Evans," he said with a smirk. Lily followed him through the doors of the Great Hall and to the stairs. She saw the Ravenclaws and Gryffindors heading up flights of stairs. Lily could see the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins going down into the floor the dungeons resided on.

" The Puffs live on the edge of the rock near the kitchens. Gives them the warmth of the kitchens and the great view over the Scottish Countryside. Slytherins live literally under the Black lake, its feeds our cold hearts," Lucian joked as he saw what Lily was looking at.

Lily gave him a light smile and followed him up the steps. Lily wasn't as close with Cassius or Lucian as she used to be with Pericles and Jason. Julius on the other hand may have been a stranger to her. He was almost ten years older than her, as he was 25 and she was on the verge of turning sixteen. Pericles on the other hand offered to babysit her when the others were outside on their broomsticks. Even though Pericles played for the Ravenclaw team for six years, he always preferred a book to the pitch

" I'm assuming you know the password," Lucian questioned with a raised brow. Lily nodded as they reached a stone gargoyle. She watched him send her a nod and walk away.

" Oh and Lily if you ever need to talk to me, the heads' dorms are located behind the portrait of the girl and boy playing chess on the sixth floor. The password's Quaffle," Lucian announced as he walked away from Lily. She sent him a tight smile and a stiff nod of appreciation as she watched him walk away.

When Lily was alone she turned to the gargoyles. How is this supposed to work, she thought. Lily decided to trust magic and attempted her idea.

" Sugar Quills," Lily stated loudly. Immediately the gargoyles separated and a stone staircase glided out. Lily tentatively stepped on the first step and climbed the rest. She climbed the steps and reached the top, which was worth the steep climb.

Dumbledore's office was encased in ceiling to floor built-in bookshelves. A window broke into the bookshelves, but gave a great view to the sky. Ancient and heavy books lined the shelves in a system that Lily couldn't comprehend. She saw small trinkets and knickknacks lining the shelves as well. In the center was a large desk covered by papers and books. Two chairs sat in front of it. Lily took a step into the room and something caught her eye. It was a large bowl like device, with intricate carvings. Lily approached it and touched it lightly. A liquid of silver mist sat inside, Lily traced it with one finger.

" I see that you've stumbled upon my Pensieve," a voice contemplated from behind Lily. She abruptly turned and caught Professor Dumbledore watching her.

" Oh don't be embarrassed curiosity is one of my favorite sins, for without it where would we be," he pondered. Lily nodded and turned completed from the Pensieve.

" Professor Dumbledore why did you call me to you," Lily questioned. He turned towards the Pensieve and spoke.

" Why indeed Ms. Evans? Well I shall tell you. I've heard from some trustworthy sources that you were present at two different death eater attack and managed to not only guard yourself but others," Dumbledore responded. Lily blushed as he turned towards her.

" How do you know about that," she demanded. Lily wondered if her cover had been ruined.

" One of my old students, Darcy Auclair informed me of a Lily Evans and her courage during a large-scale attack on the French Ministry. One of my companions, Bishop Shacklebolt informed me of your place during the muggle train bloodbath. Lily I need to know, are you aware that Voldemort is recruiting," Dumbledore stated. Lily didn't answer him immediately; instead she internally made a note to thank Uncle Darcy.

" Yes I've heard some news of his recruitment attempts," Lily answered hesitantly. She lied, Lily saw her brothers plan to murder those who said no to Voldemort.

" Good, and if he came to you what would you say," Dumbledore questioned with a wise gleam.

" In short I would say no, but I'm planning on a big dramatic response that will stun him into silence," Lily responded. A smile spread across Dumbledore's previously cautious face.

" Well then Miss. Evans I am done with questions for now. You are free to go. I will send a prefect to take you to the Gryffindor Tower. One moment please," Dumbledore stated. He pulled out a letter and shot a spell at it. It folded itself into a paper airplane, similar to the ones at the Ministry and shot out of the room.

" Ah yes the delivery charm. A nifty spell made by one of my old students," Dumbledore said as he watched Lily's face. Lily heard steps against the stone staircase and looked over.

A mop of sandy blonde appeared first, and Benjy Fenwick followed. Dumbledore smiled at the sight of the boy.

" Mr. Fenwick I hope you were close by. You came rather quickly," Dumbledore chuckled. Lily eyed Benjy's tired appearance and heaving breathes and assumed that he wasn't. Benjy blushed and looked at his shoes.

" Mr. Fenwick how would you feel about a new partner in your rounds," Dumbledore questioned looking at Lily.

" It's a bit lonely as all the other prefects have their partner, but I'm fine," Benjy responded.

" Well I think that it would be prudent to assign a new 5th year Gryffindor Prefect for the girl's role. Miss. Evans how would you feel about filling this role," Dumbledore questioned.

" Professor I've not been here for more than six hours! Marlene or one of the other Gryffindor girls would fill the role better," Lily protested.

" Miss. Evans, sadly there are not any other Gryffindor 5th year girls but you and Marlene McKinnon. With the horrific deaths of Dorcas Meadows and Olivia Waterford, the parents of Mary McDonald though it would be practical to remove her from Hogwarts. Miss. McKinnon is sadly not fit for the role, she has too much riding on her shoulders to handle the protection of the school. Not only are you the only choice, but you are also the best. Miss. Evans I have faith in your capabilities as a prefect. Now you and Mr. Fenwick should leave, a good night's rest is required to start a new year," Dumbledore stated.

Lily blushed at the compliments he loaded don her, knowing they were false. She knew that Dumbledore only chose her since Marlene had probably refused the place. Lily nodded at him and followed Benjy from the office.

" Oh and Miss Evans, I am telling you to be wary of a certain friend of yours, Benedict Auclair is it," Dumbledore announced. Lily nodded and left the office.

As she and Benjy trailed to the Gryffindor tower, Lily not only attempted to memorize the route, but also contemplated Dumbledore's warning.

Why would she need to be cautious around Benedict Auclair? Not only was he an entire sea apart from her, but also he was also harmless. Benjy wouldn't harm a fly Lily thought.

" Lily we're here," Benjy stated. Lily gave him an embarrassed smile and looked up. A painting of a rather rotund woman stood before them.

" Fortis," Benjy said. The woman sent him a smile and the portrait swung open. Lily followed Benjy into the room. She assumed that they entered the Gryffindor common room. Plush sofas and seats adorned the room. Shades of red and gold covered the entire room. Portraits of famous and historic past Gryffindors covered the walls. Large windows with heated window seat were strategically placed around the walls. Two large stairs cases rose from the left and right. Lily saw a sign that the left was the girl's and the right was the boy's. She stepped on the stone floor a felt a warmth rise from them. A fireplace sat in the middle wall surrounded by sofas. Bookshelves with scattered textbooks covered the sides of it. On top sat a large trophy case that seemed to have an expansion charm on it. It was filled to the brim with Quidditch trophies. Not a single student sat in it. Lily thought that the dorms must have been heaven to drag them from this homey room.

Lily suddenly felt the day ware on her. Drowsiness grew on her mind and she yawned. Benjy shot her an amused smile.

" You should lead. Marley told me that she moved into Alice and Emmy's room. Go head up there," Benjy said as he crossed the room to the boy's staircase. Lily sent him a tired smile and trotted up the steps to her new dorm.

She crossed the stairs and saw the 6th year dorms were close to the top. She saw that a neat prints scrawled on the 5th year dorm, free closet place. Lily smiled and knew immediately that Marley had done so. When she reached the 6th year dorms Lily lightly opened the door.

She saw four twin crimson beds with golden canopies. In front of each was a chest for clothing. Lily saw four windows by each bed, one of each person, she thought. Four identical light vanities were lined against each other. Lily saw that three were decorated, one newer than the others. She crossed the gold-carpeted floor and went over to the bed that had a chest with her name on it. She emptied the contents of her bracelet into it and into the empty vanity.

Lily plopped on the bed and heard a light laugh come from the bathroom. She walked over and cautiously opened the door. Marlene, Alice, and Emmeline were sitting on a long bench lining a mirror doing each other's hair and nails. They looked over at Lily and smiled.

" Hey you ditched us after the feast, were you off with Jason Gastor," Marley giggled.

" No! Dumbledore invited me to his office," Lily answered. Alice tapped the spot next tot her and Lily graciously took it.

" Why," Emmeline questioned. She blew on her gold nails. Lily glanced at them and saw that her index fingers were painted red. House spirit Lily thought.

" He appointed me as the new 5th year prefect," Lily answered. Marlene nodded and a silence fell over them.

" Hey Alice what happened to your and Emmy's roommates," Lily questioned. Alice's expression darkened.

" What else, the war got them. Wendy Gray never returned after the end of fourth year, rumors that she was killed in a muggle town massacre. Natalie Preston, she got pulled out of Hogwarts right before the winter holidays. Her parents were ambassadors from the states, I guess they went back," Emmeline stated.

Lily felt horrible, out of the original eight girls who lived in the 5th and 6th year dorms, only four returned after the break. Hogwarts was losing its sense of home.

" Hey chin up Lils. You are stuck with us. You're lucky not to be with the boys, Last I heard, Dumbledore combined both of the dorms with an expansion charm and they are planning on playing drinking games in there for the entire night. My damn brother's got a secret stash of fire whiskey. He won't peep about where he got it though," Marlene announced annoyed.

" Marley stop bemoaning your lack of alcohol, I sure you are going to become an alcoholic before you are twenty," Alice joked. Marlene shot her a disgruntled look.

" Guys we should head off to sleep, don't want to miss classes tomorrow. I can't wait to see the boys hung-over at breakfast. I knicked Adam's pepper up supply," Emmeline, proclaimed with a sneaky smile.

" Emmy that's not the way a loyal girlfriend acts," Alice frowned. Lily watched the girls bicker and laugh like sisters. They made sure to include her, not from pity but from the fact that they actually liked her.

Lily found people who like her for who she was, not the name that she had.

Hello boys. Did you guys have a good night," Emmeline snickered. Even Lily wore a begrudging smile as she viewed the six boys in front of her. Their eyes were red and it appeared as though they had not changed from the clothing they wore the day before. Fabian and Benjy shot glares at Emmeline. They stumbled on the benches in front of them groaning.

" Not so loud woman. Its like girls can't even speak at a normal volume," Michael groaned. The other boys nodded and continued to sip their coffees or pumpkin juices while nursing their hangovers. Lily saw Professor Dumbledore watching them with an amused stare.

" Dammit! Why are Gryffindor colors so vibrant? They should be seafoam green and cream. Not this bloody red and gold. My eyes need to clawed out," Adam muttered. Lily watched Marlene look at him with a gloating expression.

" Don't you think we've let them suffer for enough," Alice questioned. She took a glance at Frank who was staring at his coffee attempting to block the sounds out.

" I dunno Alice, they could probably go to transfiguration like that. Imagine! McGonagall would turn red," Marlene joked. The boys gave her several tired glares. Lily watched the Gryffindors bicker and banter amused.

" Dammit Marlene your supposed to be on our side," Gideon groaned. Lily and the other girls laughed as Emmeline reached into her bag. She pulled out the pepper up potion and threw it to Adam.

" So you're the little minx who knicked my supply," Adam scolded. Emmeline shot him a look and he went quiet. He took a sip of the potion and handed it to the others, who eagerly downed the potion.

" Just be happy we're giving it to you now. What made you decide to play drinking games till five in the morning," Emmeline responded. They boys gave each other looks and Fabian responded.

" We're men. We don't do each others nails and have pillow fights, we drink till dawn and walk with it," Fabian shot back.

" To start that was a bit sexist. And two, you could have stopped before twelve," Alice reprimanded. Before Fabian could respond, owls flew down from the windows.

Some of the owls were black and bore the Ministry's crest on them. Lily saw students turn pale as the owls landed in front of them.

" What are those black owls carrying," Lily queried. The group gave her a sympathetic look and Frank responded.

" They're owls that deliver news of a lost one to a student," Frank muttered. Lily nodded and watched the Great Hall above them. The ceiling was charmed to change to appear as though it was the morning sky. Lily saw a flash of red and smiled.

She watched Hestia soar across the Hall, and others noticed. Hestia flew in grand circles and twists. People turned to watch the red owl. Eventually Hestia grew tired of amusing them and flew like a bullet at Lily. Lily waited patiently.

" You just had to show off," she murmured. Hestia hooted from above her and dropped a long object on the table. Lily watched as Hestia flew towards the Mail Tower.

She leaned over the table and grabbed the package. Lily muttered a spell and watched as the package shrunk. She threw it in her bag and turned. Lily found that the Gryffindors were immersed by their schedules. Alice noticed her and gave her a schedule. Lily skimmed it and saw scowls on the faces of Benjy and Michael.

" They're expecting us to have five classes with those snakes! We have more than half of our schedule with them. They only classes I don't have with the snakes are ancient runes and muggle studies," Benjy groaned. Michael indicated for Lily to pass him her schedule. Lily gave him it and watched him go through it with a scowl.

" Dammit Lily why did you take divination and care of magical creatures! You're with the Slytherins for your entire day! Its okay, I've got care of magical creatures with you and I'm pretty sure that Marlene's taking divination," Michael stated. Lily nodded and listened to him ramble techniques to avoid the Slytherins.

" You guys we should go. Potions starts in five minutes," Benjy stated with a glance at his watch. Benjy, Marlene, Michael, and Lily left the table. Lily watched as Fabian, Gideon, Emmeline, Alice, Adam, and Frank walked towards the Transfiguration room for their 6th year NEWTS class.

She followed the other Gryffindors down the stairs. A musky scent hit her. Marlene laughed as she watched Lily's face.

" You get used to it. The snakes deal with the smell pretty well," Marlene chucked. Lily sent her a small smile and breathed through her mouth until they reached the classroom. The door was open and they walked in.

There were ten desks around the room, with two people sitting at each. The six Ravenclaws and six Hufflepuffs situated themselves so that the reaming seats were next to each other.

" Guess we're stuck with the snakes," Benjy muttered. He and Michael threw their stuff on a table towards the front. Lily and Marlene did so with the adjacent table. They heard the bell ring as a group of four Slytherins sauntered into the room.

Lily looked towards them and saw that they were the Marauders. Potter and Black took the desk directly behind Lily and Marlene. Jason and Remus did so with the desk behind Michael and Benjy. Lily ignored their laughter and pulled her cauldron from her bag. She grabbed her notebook and a quill as a large robust man burst into the classroom.

" Now let's get started! Oh this won't do, I refuse to have Mr. Potter sitting next to Mr. Black, we don't want another case of the exploding Polyjuice potion. Now I'll just have to assign seats, girls with boys how exciting! Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs stay where you are, oh splendid read my mind did you," he commanded. Lily shot Marlene an amused glance.

" Now for the Gryffindors and Slytherins. Since there are only two girls we'll have some boys together. Now Mr. Fenwick please sit with Mr. Lupin, so Mr. Gastor you move down with Mr. Wood. Ms. McKinnon please sit with Mr. Black. And that leaves Mr. Potter with the redhead," The man commanded. Lily blushed at the name Slughorn gave her. She groaned and watched as Marlene reluctantly sat with Sirius. She heard some footsteps and saw James Potter sit next to her.

" Now these seats are permanent! I'm Professor Slughorn, head of Slytherin house and master of Potions. Today we will be working on a rather difficult potion, the draught of peace. Don't groan! OWLS are approaching and I only accept students with an outstanding or a few special cases of Exceeds Expectations into it. Now open your textbooks to page 320 and start the potion, you will have the full period to work with your partner to make two potions," Slughorn ordered. Lily sighed and pulled her textbook from her bag. She placed it on the desk and started reading the instructions for the potion. Then she remembered.

"Oh," Lily whispered with a smile. An epiphany hit her as she rose from her seat. She felt eyes fly towards her back but she ignored them. She went to the supplies closet and grabbed things like powdered moonstone and syrup of helleborn. She cautiously walked back to the table and felt the judgmental eyes of James Potter on her back.

" Evans you didn't even read the textbook what are you doing," he questioned harshly. Lily ignored his cruel prickling words and started her cauldron. She tied her hair up and pulled her robe off.

Lily grabbed the powdered moonstone and started. She watched as the potion changed colors from green to pink to red as she added more and more ingredients. When she was adding the powdered porcupine quills the other members of the class started their potions including James. Lily carefully lowered the quills and held her breath.

This was the most precarious part of the experiment. Lily crossed her fingers and sighed with relieve when her potion went from a murky gray to a pure, snow-white. Lily smiled and lowered a vial into the potion. She drew her wand out and watched as her name appeared on the vial.

" Evansque," Lily stated confidently. The potion disappeared with a pop leaving Lily with a clean cauldron. She kept the supplies away and walked to the front table. Slughorn peered at her curiously.

" Miss I believe that I said to make a potion not to dawdle about," Slughorn scolded. Lily saw that other students stared and laughed at Lily's embarrassment. She could hear the deep baritone of James Potter's laugh and scowled.

" Professor I finished the potion," Lily answered as she drew the vial from her pocket. She placed it on Slughorn's desk and look at his startled expression. He grabbed it and examined it.

" Well this is an amazing Draught of Peace, I may consider adding it to my personal supply. What did you say your name was again, I don't recognize you," Slughorn questioned. Lily could see the other students abandoning their potions and eavesdropping on the conversation.

" Lily Evans sir, I was given permission to transfer here during the holidays," Lily answered. Slughorn examined her.

" Evans you say, I don't recognize that name," Slughorn questioned skeptically. Lily sighed knowing that this was coming.

" I'm muggleborn sir," she answered. Lily felt pricks on her back and turned. She saw a pair of livid gold eyes and shot them a glare. Before she could do anything, a Hufflepuff's potion exploded.

" Well Miss. Evans I hope that you will join me and several others for a dinner in two weeks time," Slughorn questioned. Lily nodded skeptically and he ran off to aid the Hufflepuff.

Lily walked back to her desk and saw that James Potter was almost finished with his potion. She watched as he lowered his porcupine quills into the potion and it turned a murky brown. Lily giggled and he turned to her.

" You didn't crush your quills enough. You broke them into small pieces so they didn't combine with the unicorn horn," Lily answered.

" I don't need a mudblood like you to help me," he snarled back. Lily raised her eyebrows and didn't respond, but Michael did.

" Oi Potter apologize to Evans," Michael ordered. Lilt turned towards him shocked. He walked up to her desk and was staring at James. She looked at her brother and pleaded for him do something.

" Wood you should be ashamed helping filthy mudbloods. What pride do you have," Potter sneered. Michael took his wand out and Potter did too. They aimed their wands at each other. The entire class stopped to watch the fight, while Slughorn stood assisting a Hufflepuff unaware of the fight.

Lily looked at Jason again and caught his eye. He walked over and placed an arm on both boys' shoulders.

" Both of you calm down. Michael just apologize to James here and go," Jason ordered. Lily groaned internally and watched Marlene get up.

" Go fuck yourself Gastor. Lily's the victim here, if James apologizes this will be settled," Marlene ordered. Jason shot her an annoyed look.

" Oi Sirius can you control your woman," James shouted to him. Sirius shot Marlene a glare and got up. Marlene drew her wand and pointed it at Sirius. He immediately drew his and pointed it at her.

" McKinnon don't make me jinx you," Sirius threatened. Marlene ignored him. Lily looked at Benjy and urged him to do something.

" Twenty points from Slytherin for foul language and behavior. If we just go back to our seats then this will be over and no one will have to get a detention," Benjy pacified. Lily shot him an annoyed look, like that would help she thought.

" Don't be such a priss Fenwick! We're just dealing with this like proper wizards not like dirty half bloods like you," Remus roared. Lily looked at him in surprise she didn't expect this from him. Remus glanced at her and Lily saw a flicker of sadness in his eyes but it faded.

" All of you stop! For every minute each of you refuse to sit, I'll take ten points from your houses individually," Lily ordered. Every pair of eyes in the room flew to her, but she didn't cower.

" Don't worry the mudblood's not a prefect," Jason stated. Lily felt her heart break. She gasped and stared at him in shock. Fury boiled and pushed the pain away. Lily looked at James Potter and glared, he's the one who started all of this, she thought. Lily did the one thing that came to her mind. She swung her arm back and pulled it forward. Lily heard a sickening crunch and looked at James Potter.

He stood straight, towering over her. He held his nose in between his hands and blood fell from his face. Lily gasped and turned pale as Potter's hand inched towards her face. Michael's hand twitched on his wand. Lily didn't move, as Potter twirled one of her curls around his finger.

" I'm not going to hit you back. No you're going to pay in a different way," James snarled at Lily. With that he strode from the room. The other Marauders followed him out leaving a wake of destruction in their path.

" And then Lily gave Potter this unholy glare and socked him in the face! It was bloody brilliant," Benjy hooted. Lily blushed and heard the Gryffindors around her laugh.

After the Potions event, as Marlene dubbed it, She went to History of Magic with Marlene. Michael and Benjy took muggle studies and headed off there.

" You'd never expect little Lily here to be such a spitfire," Frank said in between laughs. Lily gave him a mocking glare and he went into further laughs.

" It wasn't that dramatic. And what was I supposed to do, let the Slytherin start a full-out duel in Potions? Besides Slughorn didn't even notice that the Marauders were gone," Lily sighed. She heard a bell ring, breaking off the conversation.

" Come on Lily we got to go to DADA," Marlene ordered. Lily stared at her curiously.

" What's DADA," Lily questioned curiously. The others stared at her shocked.

" Defense Against the Dark Arts, come on tell me they had that in Beauxabatons," Adam joked. Lily gave him a blank stare.

" So in France they sent wizards and witches to adulthood not even knowing how to do a simple stunning spell," he questioned.

" No we learned those, but it's not like they thought we needed to learn them, the war only reached France two years ago. And even then the French Ministry didn't enforce students to learn Defense spells," Lily answered with a shrug. Adam nodded and headed off with the other 6th years to Charms. Lily walked with Benjy to DADA, while Marlene and Michael flanked them.

When they reached the classroom, Marlene lead the group to a row in the middle of class. Quickly students trickled into the class. Lily counted the people and turned to Marlene curiously.

" Marlene in each of our classes there's been only twenty or fifteen people. I thought a lot of people attended Hogwarts," Lily said to her.

" Before the start of this year, we had more people. But then students disappeared and parents pulled their kids out thinking that Hogwarts wasn't safe," Marlene responded.

" But Hogwarts has Dumbledore isn't that the best protection," Lily argued.

" Some people feel like he's spread too thin, I heard that he leaves the castles for days at a time," Marlene responded. Lily mulled over this. Even without Dumbledore, Hogwarts was a renowned school. She remembered stories of the amazing castle from her parents and brothers before her banishment. Even Uncle Darcy spoke of its glory.

Before Lily could say anything she heard a deep voice from the front of the classroom.

" Hello students, I hope you all had a good break. Now your OWLS are approaching. Before the break we reviewed material from your first and second years, today we will be reviewing the third year curriculum. We will start with the boggart," the voice quickly listed. Lily looked to the front of the room and saw a familiar face.

" Marlene is that Bishop Shacklebolt? I thought he was an auror," Lily questioned.

" He owed Dumbledore a favor and volunteered to teach DADA this year. He's brilliant at it though! We've learned more from him than we have from all our past teachers," Marlene whispered back. Lily looked up and saw that most of the class was walking out the door. She and Marlene quickly followed.

" Miss. Evans, if I could have a word please," Bishop requested. Lily turned and saw him standing behind her. She indicated for Marlene to go ahead.

" This must be a bit of a surprise to you, me teaching this class. I hope that I can see your skills in the subject though. Lily I need to know though, have you ever been in front of a Boggart before," he said interrogatively.

" Yes once. I know the spell if that what you are asking. Its Riddikulus," Lily answered. Bishop looked a bit troubled but nodded. He indicated for Lily to follow him. They walked to a room across the hall and the rest of the class stood in a line. Lily slipped on the line and ignored the puzzled looks of her fellow Gryffindors.

" Black you are up first," Professor Shacklebolt ordered. Lily jumped and looked towards the front. She saw the Marauders standing at different levels of the line. Sirius swaggered to the closed cabinet.

Bishop opened it and a masked being shot out. Sirius clenched on his wand as the being shifted forms. Eventually it stopped. Lily stared shocked. In front of her was Sirius Black facing a small woman. She had causal features but walked up to Sirius.

" Sirius what are you doing? Don't you want to give me a kiss, I know that you gave up being a wizard to marry me, a simple muggle, so why do you have that wand," the woman questioned confused.

Sirius Black turned a light pink and shouted the spell. Immediately the woman shifted into a duplicate of Marlene McKinnon.

" Sirius kiss me," Marlene's duplicate shouted. Sirius smiled and shot the real Marlene a smirk as the rest of the class laughed. Lily rolled her eyes and watched as the rest of the class faced the boggart. She saw Benjy stand before the boggart warily as it shifted into a huge snake. Lily shuddered and watched Benjy turn a light green as he shouted Riddikulus. The spider turned into a kitten.

When Remus Lupin went up a large moon appeared. He looked anxious but shot a quick spell at it. Marlene went up and the boggart shifted into a duplicate of Sirius.

" Oh Marlene, my sweet wife who gave me seven children lets go to the bedroom and have long and heavy sex," the boggart shouted. Marlene blushed and the class burst into laughter.

" Riddikulus," Marlene quickly shouted. The boggart shrieked and turned into Fabian Prewitt, who smiled at Marlene. Lily took a glance at Sirius and saw that he was scowling.

Marlene walked away smiling as Jason walked to the Boggart. The boggart shifted for longer before it stopped. Lily gasped, drawing the attention of a few Hufflepuffs. Standing before her was her dead father.

" Jason you've brought disgrace onto our family. You are hence by disowned. Not even your sis-" the replicate of William Gastor shouted at Jason. Before he could finish Jason shouted Riddikulus, turning the unwilling boggart into one of Jason's fan girls. As Jason slinked to the back of the line, he shot Lily a look. She gulped hesitantly and knew that look. Jason was telling her that she owed him. Lily blocked out the next few students trying to get over seeing her dead father. Lily looked towards the front of the room and saw Michael approaching the boggart. The boggart shifted into a masked figure. It approached Michael who paled. He started to shake as the robed figure floated towards him.

Lily remembered the story he told her. Dementor, she thought. Lily looked at Michael trying to urge him to do something. Eventually he broke from his haze.

" Riddikulus," he shouted. A stream of orange shot from his wand and hit the boggart. It shifted to a broomstick and Michael shot his fellow students a weak smile. Lily watched him walk over to the other Gryffindors who gave him sympathetic smiles.

There were only two people in the line, her and James Potter. She watched James walked in front of the boggart. The boggart shifted for a while. Lily watched as it eventually stayed on one phase. She stared at in confusion. In front of James stood a replica of him. It differed in the fact that it was wearing muggle clothing. Lily realized that James Potter was afraid of being anything but a wizard. How disgusting, she thought.

James cast the boggart a disdained look and nonchalantly said, " Riddikulus." Lily watched the boggart shift into a mirror, which James peered into ruffling his hair. Lily shot him a scowl as he joined his friends.

Lily took a hesitant step and walked to the boggart. Faster than the other occasions it shifted into a duplicate of Lily. She stared at it in confusion. Slowly the boggart wore a wicked smile on Lily's face. It reached to its covered arm and pulled the sleeve up. Lily gasped when she saw what was there. On her blemish free arm was a writhing snake, the tattoo of the death eaters.

She took a staggering step back. Lily knew why it was there. For every person Lily trusted in England, they betrayed her. Her heart was ripped apart, and passed around the country to be stepped on. She was afraid of being betrayed by the only person she truly trusted; herself. Lily closed her eyes feeling dizzy.

Suddenly she opened them and brandished her wand. " Riddikulus," Lily shouted. A golden stream shot from her wand and entangled itself in the boggart. The boggart turned into a laughing Benjy who shot Lily a soft smile. She could feel other people staring at the duplicate Benjy wondering who he was. But Lily ignored them.

The stars shone brighter than ever. Lily leaned back on her broom relaxed. After Marlene discovered Lily's broom she got Lily to reveal that she played at Beauxabatons as the seeker. Lily was then forced to agree to attend tryouts for the Gryffindor Seeker. She came to the pitch half an hour before the tryouts trying to practice. Lily could see the team standing under her. The mid afternoon sun stood hazed in the sky. Lily looked at her watch and saw that try outs were starting soon. She dove down and leaped off her broom. Michael gave her a small smile.

" So McGonagall decided to make me captain for the rest of the year. I promise to do my best to get this team spiffed up for the game against Slytherin this Saturday. To start we're going to hold seeker tryouts. After that we will have practice, so lets get started," Michael ordered. Lily looked around her and saw that almost thirty hopeful Gryffindors showed up. A few ditzy fourth years applauded Michael who shot them an easy smile. Lily scowled at them wondering if they even knew how to fly.

" Wood we've got a problem," Frank yelled. He pointed towards the entrance of the pitch and even Lily scowled. She saw four Slytherins walking up to Michael.

" Oi Potter! What are you doing here I believe this is a Gryffindor tryout," Michael questioned. Lily watched the Marauders stand in front of him. Jason must have felt her stare and turned to her. He looked surprised to see Lily in Quidditch gear.

" Wood you cant kick us out. We can watch the tryouts, like your boys Prewitt and Longbottom did at ours, as long as we don't interrupt it," Potter responded. With that the Marauders headed up to the stands. A horde of Fan girls stood there waiting for them. Lily glared in their direction and turned towards Michael.

But she felt a prickling on her neck and saw that Potter was staring at her. She tugged on her Ponytail self-consciously. Lily was wearing a pair of long tight athletic leggings and a gold long-sleeve fitted shirt. She turned and ignored Potter's perverted stare.

" All people trying out for the seeker position give me ten laps around the field. Go," Michael ordered. Lily smirked and bounded on her broom .She shot into the air and bolted around the pitch. She could feel eyes following her as she leaned on her broom urging it to go faster. Lily knew why they were stunned, she finished her second lap by the time all the other potential seekers started their first.

Lilt relaxed and let her broom glide her around the pitch eight more times and flew down to the team below them. She could feel shocked stares on her as she face Michael.

" Lily is that what I think it is," Gideon stated pointed at her broom in awe. Lily nodded and passed it over to him, pink cheeked. While the team awed over her Nimbus 1500, she saw that the other seekers were done.

When Michael noticed he ordered the twins to give Lily her broom Lily clutched it and faced him.

" Okay if I call you name leave the pitch immediately. I'm sorry but you haven't made the team," Michael shouted. Lily crossed her fingers and bit her lip as Michael called out names. Her heart thumped with relief as she saw twenty people leave the pitch with their heads down.

" For the next part I will be releasing a snitch. Whoever can catch it first gets the spot. Okay," Michael shouted. He released the snitch and waited ten seconds before allowing them to fly. Lily shot into the air. She dodged the other ten and flew high above the pitch. She caught a glint of glad and zoomed towards it. She could feel the whiplash of her hair on her face but ignored it. Lily held her hand out and felt a fluttering in it. She closed her hand and flew down to the ground of the pitch. The other seekers still looked for the snitch not noticing that Lily found it so quickly.

" Down so quickly Evans? Already given up have you," Michael joked. Lily walked over to him brandishing the snitch between her fingers. His eyes grew wide as he looked at the gold snitch.

" Holy Merlin! She was up there for less than ten minutes," Adam crowed. Lily blushed and handed the snitch to Michael.

" Oi! Every person in the air better come down in ten seconds," Michael shouted. Lily watched as the seekers left the pitch with glares at Lily.

" Boys, and girl," Michael announced with a look a Marlene. " Looks like we've got ourselves a new seeker."

Lily heard the distant cheering of her new teammates and Marlene hugging her. But she let that fade. Lily looked to the stands and saw that Jason gave her a light yet cruel smile as he and the Marauders left the pitch.

Lily ignored Jason and turned back to her team ready to beat those snakes.

" Now you lot listen up! We've got ten minutes till this game begins, and I would prefer to get that house cup this year. Prewitts, aim for the chasers, not the seeker. In order to make up for our game before break, that bloody awful loss to Hufflepuff, we'll need points. McKinnons and Longbottom do your damn best to get the Quaffle. I know you are up against Potter and Gastor so use that feint you've practiced. Remember that Gastor, the keeper, has a difficult time leaning to his right so aim there. I'll do my bloody best to keep the Quaffle out of my hoops. Lily, you need to distract Black. Regulus knows that if he gets the snitch at the start of the game, then its over for Gryffindor. So do every bloody move you know to keep him from the snitch. When we are up 150 points then go for the snitch," Michael boomed.

It was the brisk Saturday morning of the first Quidditch game of the year. The bets were high since it was a Gryffindor versus Slytherin match, but they were in favor of Slytherin due to Gryffindor's lost Captain and seeker. Throughout the past week, the tension rose. Gryffindors sent bold hexes to the Slytherins. Slytherins threw sly jinxes at the Gryffindors. Lily watched her brothers smirk as they shot careless curses at her new housemates. She watched them lord over others, like kings.

The biggest shock to her was Jason. While Lucian was quieter, choosing to spend time with Evan Rosier and his twin sister Eliza Rosier and Cassius preferred to interact merely with purebloods, Jason disgusted her. He and his fellow Marauders were often caught in broom closets, an experience Lily had encountered during patrol. She could remember Jason's unbuttoned shirt and a flustered Hufflepuff with mussed hair. She could feel his prickling gaze as he stared her down. Lily remembered the blush rushing to her throat as she choked out a detention for the pair.

Watching her brothers' disgusted stares at muggleborns and half bloods reminded her that these people weren't the ones she knew. They changed into distant horrible men, not kind-hearted little boys. Lily sighed and adjusted her gloves.

Outside of the locker rooms, Lily watched a light snowstorm. Armies of snowflakes cascaded on the pitch. She could see the pitch filled to the brim with students and teachers.

" Oi Evans! We are being called up; remember to wait until we are up 150 points okay? Good luck," Frank shouted to Lily. Lily nodded and joined the lineup. She could hear the distant voice of 6th year Ravenclaw David Chang announcing the start of the game.

" Welcome to today's Quidditch match! It's the fourth one of season, after the memorable Gryffindor-Ravenclaw starter, the exciting Hufflepuff-Slytherin, and the unplanned Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff, due to conflicting issues. Now lets give a warm welcome to the Gryffindor Quidditch Team! Starting we've got Gemini beaters, Fabian and Gideon Prewitt," David shouted to the pitch using a sonorous charm. Lily watched the Prewitt twins fly up to the pitch. She heard the distant applause of the crowd and turned to it.

" Next we've got the trifecta chasers! Frank Longbottom, Adam and Marlene McKinnon. Following is the new captain Michael Wood; let's hope he's ready for this game. Lastly we have the new student and new seeker, Lily Evans," He shouted. Lily kicked herself on her broom and soared up to the pitch. She followed the trail Michael left for her and flew done to the rest of the team.

" Cross your fingers for this team! After the unexpected departure of Oliver Waterford and the tragic death of Meadows, the Gryffindor team was one player down. Luckily for them, spitfire Lily Evans transferred from Beauxabatons. I heard she socked James Potter! Oh fine Minnie, calm down. Professor McGonagall's threatening my job, so let's have it for the Slytherin Quidditch team," David crowed. Lily rolled her eyes at the spitfire comment and listened to him.

" Captain Lucian Gastor and Sirius Black make up the beater duo. Following we've got Jason Gastor, Evan Rosier, and James Potter as the chaser line up. Let those Gryffindors be warned, watch out for Potter's feints they're a real killer. Next we've got Cassius Gastor, the keeper, wow those Gastors pretty much make up half the team. I heard they almost have enough kids to make a Quidditch team," David joked. Lily grimaced thinking that the Gastor family actually did have enough.

" And lastly we've got Regulus Black, the seeker," David announced. Lily watched the emerald green and silver figures shoot across the pitch. She could see girls screaming for them, holding " I Love the Gastors" and " Marry me Potter" signs. Lily thought about the huge ego boost, that they really didn't need.

She saw Lucian lead the landing and walk to the center of the pitch. Madame Hooch and Michael stood there. She couldn't hear Madame Hooch's speech but saw Lucian cruelly crush Michael's hand in a handshake. Lily heard the whistle starting the game and flew up to the top of the pitch. She watched the snitch glinting in and out of existence and ignored it. She watched Regulus Black dart across the pitch, while the snitch went to the opposite corners. She smirked, Regulus had too much rough untapped talent to get the snitch yet, she thought. Lily turned to the game and watched. She saw Fabian hurl a bludger at Evan Rosier who turned to the side. Quickly Lucian throttled his club at the bludger and sent it at Marlene.

" Marlene look out," Lily screamed. Marlene looked up and saw a bludger. She dodged it, and it rammed into Gideon Prewitt's awaiting club. She sent Lily a smile and threw the Quaffle in her arms to the left hoop.

" Goal! Ten points to Gryffindor thanks to McKinnon's great shot, score's at 50-40 in favor of Gryffindor," David crowed. Lily darted to the middle of the pitch, to the surprise of the entire pitch.

" Look's like Evans caught sight of the snitch! Wow look at that broom, how'd she get a Nimbus 1500? Potter and Black were known to order two of the three ones at the store in Hogsmeade, I'd expect Jason Gastor would have the third," David mused. Lily felt eyes shooting towards her, but ignored them. She could feel Regulus Black on her trail. She smiled and quickly leaned down. Regulus's eyes widened as he rammed into a bludger.

" Sneaky move from Evans," David called out. Lily flew up and saw that Sirius Black's furious stormy eyes were on her. He flew to a bludger and sent it skyrocketing at Lily. Lily flew languidly to the right and watched the bludger ram into Evan Rosier.

" Oi Black! What's the idea here, I'm on your bloody team," Evan shouted clutching his arm. Lily smiled and darted across the pitch to the Gryffindor hoops.

" You little minx! I saw those sly plays back there," Michael announced as he grabbed the quaffle. James Potter cursed as he watched Michael throw it to Adam McKinnon. Lily smirked and watched Potter scurry after the quaffle.

" Look's like Potter can't take the heat! Hey are Evans and Wood having a tea party over there? Nice little chat time, the Slytherin team should be offended," David laughed. Lily watched Lucian's eyes flash dangerously as he shot a bludger close the announcer box. David jumped and McGonagall shot Lucian a glare from her stance next to David Chang.

" Oi Evans! Look over there! Look's like Potter and Jason Gastor are double-teaming Frank. Care to help," Michael shouted. Lily shot him a perturbed look, but dashed to Frank. She scowled as she caught sight of Potter and Jason shoving an annoyed Frank, who held the quaffle tightly.

" The Slytherin team's started some dirty plays, Potter and Gastor tsk tsk," David shouted. Lily made eye contact with Adam and he immediately caught her idea. She smiled and went over to Frank.

" Oi Potter, isn't it a little demeaning to resort to dirty plays," Lily reprehended. James caught her emerald gaze and smirked.

" Evans I'm the king of dirty plays," he cackled. Lily scowled and flew above Frank, she knocked him out of the way and felt Jason's planned shove jut into her.

" What's Evans doing? Paying hero's not the best idea," David roared. Lily flinched at the abrupt and painful shove, but saw that Frank had thrown Adam the quaffle.

" Ten points for Gryffindor! 200- 50 in favor of Gryffindor. Slytherin better pick up the pace! Evans does know what she's doing," David announced. Lily felt the angry gaze of Evan Rosier as she flew towards the top of the pitch.

" Lily now," Michael shouted. Lily threw him an annoyed face as she reached the top of the pitch. Lily saw the small dots of the crowd and the robed Quidditch figures. She caught the gold glint of the snitch within seconds and rocketed after it.

" Look's like Evans seen the snitch," David stated loudly. Lily ignored him she blocked everyone out. Lily felt the wind tangle into her hair and adrenaline rush through her veins.

She loved the hectic glow of Quidditch. The height the risk the fight, that's why she loved it. Quidditch pounded in her heart. Lily could see the sly snitch in front of her. It felt her presence and ended it sly flying. It became languid acknowledging a worthy seeker. Lily closed her eyes, yet she felt the entire pitch watching her. Her fingers pecked at the snitch, before her hand enclosed it. Lily felt it immediately stop fighting and threw her fist into the air.

" Gryffindor wins! Gryffindor wins! A whopping 350- 50, Slytherin better look out," David screamed. But Lily didn't hear him. She didn't hear the exulted shouts and whoops of joy from her team. She didn't see their tears of joy, their toothy smiles. Lily didn't see three pairs of golden eyes all glaring at her. She saw a pair of enraged hazel orbs staring her down, for the first time in months actually fear sparked in her heart.

" There's a Hogsmeade weekend next week and I was wondering if you wanted to er- umm- go with uh,me," a squeaky fourth year Gryffindor weaseled out. Lily blushed and heard the snickers of her friends. Ever since her display of talent at the Quidditch game two weeks ago, Hogwarts had simply become enchanted with her. Boys of all ages glanced her way with a smile, wondering what were their chances with her. Girls watched her graceful hair bounce as she walked with a light envious gaze. That was excluding the Slytherins.

After the game, Lily had been made Slytherin hate target number one. She was subjected to sly jinxes and rude scoffs. Her friends fiercely defended her, especially Michael. But Lily was fine with the taunting and bullying. She knew what was the cost of her lies, but the experiences she had were worth it.

" I'm so sorry but I'm spending that weekend with a few feet of essays, you are welcome to join me in the library though," Lily offered. The boy's hopeful eyes turned disappointed at the prospect of missing Zonko's for musty textbooks.

" Umm no thanks, I've got some friends waiting on me," the boy muttered. He scurried away. Lily watched him leave with sad smile.

"So Lily, That's what number thirty-two," Marlene joked.

" Actually its number thirty-four if you've kept track," Fabian laughed. Lily blushed and buried her head in her hands.

" I feel so bad, he was so young. Its easier to reject 6th and 7th years," Lily muttered. She felt the strong arms of Michael wrap around her as she peaked out.

" Its okay Lils, I know how hard it is to be gorgeous," Michael comforted. Lily shot a quirked smile at him. Before she could respond, Lily felt Goosebumps prickle on her neck. She rolled her eyes and turned to the gazer with annoyed eyes.

The hazel orbs of James Potter watched her every move with a disgusting leer. Lily shuddered as he caught her gaze. His eyes flashed with something like anger as he watched Michael's hand toy with Lily's crimson curls. Lily saw a dark glint as he looked back at her. Without breaking eye contact, he grabbed the scantily uniform clad girl next to him, and kissed her roughly. Lily blushed with embarrassment and turned to her fellow Gryffindors. She saw that the chestnut eyes of Frank Longbottom watched her pitifully. Before she could say anything, Lily saw a swarm of owls fly from the sky.

She caught sight of the black owls of the ministry and paled. Lily observed them circle across the hall dropping letters into the tearful laps of students. Lily's heart faltered as she saw a first year burst into tears, as one letter dropped into her lap.

Lily saw Dumbledore scowling at the owls, as he pulled out the Daily Profit. Lily grabbed one lying on a table and her eyes soften. The headline pronounced that about twenty civilians died during an attack on Diagon Alley. She scowled as she read that Ministry officials were considering it to be an unknown attack.

" What a load of bollock! Even the little ones know that death eaters are the cause for this," Emmeline exclaimed as she read her newspaper. Lily silently agreed, poking at her bowl of porridge.

" What's that," Benjy's astonished voice questioned. Lily looked where he was pointing, her heart faltering. She saw the startling green blur fly into the hall. Students watched the mysterious green owl drop a letter for Jason. But they were even further shocked as the owl flew to the Gryffindor table. Lily closed her eyes feeling dread crawl up her throat. She wasn't ready for this letter, she never would be. Lily felt the letter fall into her lap.

She ignored the stares of her classmates as she opened her eyes. Lily could feel the judgmental stares of her brothers as she fingered the letter. The rich blue crown of the Auclair crest popped out. Lily slowly opened the letter. A few words were scrawled in Benjy Auclair's French cursive. Lily's eyebrows arched as she read them.

_Lils,_

_I know you are mad at me, but some sources told me you aren't going to the next Hogsmeade trip. I think you should go. Please, go Lils, its important._

_Love, Benjy_

Lily tucked the letter into her bag. While she was reading, the hall recovered from the green owl shock. Benjy just had to have the neon green owl, Lily thought bemused. She looked over to the Slytherin table with angry eyes. Jason caught her stare and flinched at its intensity. Lily rose from the hall, and mouthed for Jason to follow her.

" I left a quill in the dorm, I'll meet you guys in charms," Lily offered to the confused 5th and 6th year Gryffindors. Marlene sent her a dubious look but let her go. Lily tried to walk out of the hall inconspicuously; sadly it was in vain when she tripped. Lily shot a glare at a group of laughing Slytherins and stalked out of the hall. She waited outside of the hall. Finally she saw Jason's tousled hair and walked over to him.

" Lets take a walk Jason," Lily muttered grabbing his arm. She pulled him through the huge, grand entrance door and to the Black Lake. Jason stared at her as though she was insane. Lily finally let go when they reached the shore of the lake.

" Isn't this type of thing what you are trying to avoid," Jason questioned to Lily.

" Of course, but getting purists like you in trouble for speaking to a dirty little mudblood is what I excel at," Lily snarkily responded.

" Don't call yourself that. You are not some filthy mudblood," Jason growled.

" But I am, at least that's what every person here thinks," Lily shot back. Jason gave her a sympathetic smile.

" I see what this is about, well if you apologize for your disgrace, then I think that Julius and Pericles will have it in their hearts to forgive you and welcome you back," Jason responded sympathetically.

" This is so like you, you don't even notice that I'm happy. I'm happy yet you don't care. Maintaining the family name's more important," Lily said with disgust dripping off her words.

" Lily look, you are a Gastor, and not just any Gastor a female one. I bet you don't even know what that means," Jason scoffed.

"It means that I'm a bloody alliance for Julius to monopolize pureblood society," Lily answered confused.

" Sometimes I forget how you know so little. Lily let me spell it out for you; half of the purebloods are all related. You on the other hand have new blood. Mom's genes haven't been in the pureblood drawing pool before. Our parents realized that when you were born. They lined up a betrothal with a big shot family, one that could really benefit ours," Jason responded.

" Who is he," Lily pleaded.

" I don't know none of us do. After that little fiasco that sent you to Greece mum and dad wouldn't tell anyone. Julius was hoping it was in Father's will but it wasn't," Jason muttered. Lily nodded relieved hopefully no one knew about her betrothal including her would have been future husband.

" Now if that's all, I think Charms is starting soon we should get going," Jason announced as he brushed a piece of lint off his goblin made robes.

" That's not why I dragged you down here Jason Edward Gastor," Lily responded with renewed vigor.

" Ouch watch the middle name, I've kept too much effort into keeping it a secret for you to blurt it out," Jason muttered sending Lily a mocking glare.

" Why are you telling Benjy what I'm doing," Lily questioned. Jason started at her with a careful eye.

" I haven't told that irksome half blood anything about you, I have never spoken to him other than to hex his unclean blood," Jason announced with disgust. Lily groaned with annoyance.

" Not that Benjy you imbecile," Lily grumbled. Her accent snuck its way into her sentence to Jason's amusement.

" Nice accent," Jason laughed.

" Shut up Eddie," Lily scowled. " I'm talking about Benjy Auclair the overprotective arse you spend your summers with," Lily announced.

" You mean Benedict, he told me that you two were fighting, I guess that's why he wants me to tell him about you. Are you two having a lover's spat," Jason mused to himself.

" Ugh I don't have time for your idiotic statements. Just stopping reporting what I'm doing," Lily swore. Jason shot her a glazed smirk and nodded.

" Sure thing, but that doesn't mean that Cassius and Lucian can't. Now I would prefer to be ten minutes late to charms instead of twenty so let's go. I've got to talk to James," Jason announced. Lily shot him an annoyed glare but followed him into the castle. She shivered, as she had forgotten her cloak in her dorm. But there was no time to get it.

" You've got to stop doing this bloody damsel in distress routine, it's quite vexing to see that arse of a Blood traitor, Wood with his bloody arm around you all the time," Jason scolded. He took a glance at Lily and shot a warmth charm at her.

" And you've got to stop sleeping with half of Hogwarts. I'm surprised you haven't started seducing the first years yet. Besides Michael is a gentleman you could learn from him," Lily reprehended. She caught up to Jason large stride and walked next to him.

" Don't praise someone you hardly know. Before the break Wood was just like me, only worse. There were rumors that he was considering seducing the new mediwitch, Madame Pomfrey," Jason shot back.

Lily didn't respond, surprise grew in her heard. But she rejected it.

" Shut up Jason, Michael wouldn't do something like that," Lily grumbled. Jason watched her, with a scowl growing on his face.

" Bloody hell have you got a crush on that wanker," Jason interrogated.

" It is none of you business of I do, and if I did I surely wouldn't tell my hex-happy brother," Lily answered pursing her lips. She saw the heavy door of the charms room and shoved it open.

Lily saw twenty watching eyes on her and blushed. She could hear a few ditzy Hufflepuffs gasp when they saw the chiseled physique of Jason Gastor behind her.

" Miss Evans and Mr. Gastor, class started fifteen minute sago," Professor Flickwick scolded. Lily felt a heavy blush creep up her throat when she caught the curious gazes of her fellow Gryffindors.

" My apologies Professor, Dumbledore wanted me to tell Evans here that he's trying to support inter-house relations, so Lily's my new prefect partner for patrols," Jason suavely said. Lily watched him shocked. He was a good liar she thought begrudgingly. The Professor nodded and Lily exhaled with relief. She went over to her assigned seat next to Benjy.

Flickwick quickly began the lesson again. Lily internally groaned, they were covering the patronus charm something she struggled with during her internship with the auror department. She looked at her paper and gaped. Benjy's scrawl covered her notes.

**Is what Jason said true?** He had written. Lily shot him a look, but he was intently taking notes. She picked up her pen and answered.

_I don't know if he is even a prefect. Remus seems more fitting_, Lily looped in her elegant script.

**Lupin turned down the offer, and Gastor was the next chose.**

_I dunno its nothing Benjy don't mind Jason he's just a good liar _Lily wrote. She ignored Benjy's scribbles, and muttered a charm, erasing their conversation. Lily looked up and saw that Flickwick had scribbled a partner list on the board. She internally groaned when she saw her name next to Jason's. Lily grabbed her stuff and walked over to where Jason was mockingly shoving James. She cleared her throat and watched both boys look over at her.

Lily could feel the cold, yet lava-hot stare of James Potter trace her body. Lily really did regret forgetting her cloak. He shot her a leer and walked over to a nonchalant Sirius Black and starting practicing the spell.

" By the way Lily, what I said about patrols wasn't a lie, its true," Jason announced with a devious smile.

" And then Black, the arse that he is, jumped out of the dresser completely nude, holding a bloody pineapple in front of his wanker," Gideon choked out finishing his stroy about the last Christmas ball held at the Prewitt Manor. Lily grabbed her aching sides and laughed. She always hated her laugh. Her smile was too crooked and her laugh was too loud. Lily blushed as she saw heads turning towards them.

She, Michael, Benjy, and Gideon were walking down the path to Hogsmeade. Alice and Frank were on a triple date with Emmeline, Adam, Marlene and Gideon. After years of crushing on Marlene, the pressure of the war made Fabian spontaneously ask Marlene out. The idea of Marlene and Fabian brought a warm smile to Lily, even during war there was still hope.

" Lils so where to first? We've got to get you a butter beer, they don't have those in France," Benjy announced. Lily's heart twisted with the thought of the lie she told the Gryffindors. It was almost worth their shocked faces when she lied about never drinking a butter beer before.

Lily remembered Benjy Auclair's letter and told her friends that she would go to Hogsmeade with them. She felt a wry sensation. Lily Marie Gastor had made friends who accepted her for a muggleborn named Lily Evans. She found people who wanted Lily Evans the muggleborn not Lily Gastor the pureblood.

" Oi look at the mudblood and her little blood traitors! Say Wood, what's she like in bed. I bet she whores herself to the Gryffindors," a cold voice leered. Lily gasped with anger and looked up. She saw the mocking eyes of Sirius Black. The rest of the Marauders stood near him, with hordes of girls following them.

" Go fuck yourself Black," Michael muttered. He took his wand out. Lily realized that they were about to restart the Potions incident.

" Why would I do that? Marlene will do that for me," Sirius ridiculed pointing his wand at Michael.

" She doesn't like you Black cant you get that through your inbred head," Gideon shouted. Lily looked at him sympathetically; he was brave for supporting his brother. Lily saw Remus Lupin move, but Benjy shifted his wand towards him.

" Stand back Wood, we're just going to Hogsmeade," Remus pacified. Benjy pointed his wand at him.

" Lupin I wouldn't talk if I were you, you're the biggest coward here," Benjy shot back. Remus's eyes flashed with anger directing his wand at Benjy's head.

" Take that back you dirty half blood," James Potter shouted.

" What are you going to do Potter? Go cry to your mummy? Oh wait you can't she's dying," Gideon cruelly taunted. Lily felt anger swell, Gideon had no right to sat that. James shook with rage and lashed his wand out. Gideon and him aimed their wands at each other.

" Prewitt! If you and your brother keep up your blood traitor ways the Dark Lord may not forgive you," Jason shouted. The hordes of girls and people walking by fled, leaving the eight teens alone in the path. Lily stepped in when she saw Michael twitched his wand at Sirius.

" Gideon apologize to Potter," Lily announced. Every person turned to her in shock.

" Lils don't tell me you side with him! He just called you a whore," Michael roared.

" I don't side with him. But what Gideon said was unnecessary," Lily shot back. She felt Jason watching her curiously.

" I don't need a mudblood's sympathy," James shouted. Lily saw a red flash and James Potter shouting a shield spell.

" Big mistake Wood," he snarled. He nodded at the other Marauders and suddenly and unrealistically everybody started dueling. Lily saw Jason turn from her and walk over to Michael and Potter. Gideon shot hex after hex at Sirius. Benjy threw quick jinxes at an enraged Lupin. Michael's cry of pain broke her train of thought. Lily ran to him and grabbed her wand.

" Incendio," James Potter shouted. A burst of flames volleyed from his wand. Lily's heart panged as she saw them inch towards Michael.

" Aqua Eructo," Lily shouted. A wave of water cannoned from her wand. It threw Potter back and he landed in the snow. She turned to a dueling Michael and Jason.

" Avis," Lily shouted. A flock of small sparrows shot through the air. " Oppugno," she announced. The birds flew at Jason who flew back in pain. Lily ran to Michael.

" Wow Evans you're a bird with birds," he joked as he fainted. Michael fell to the ground in a flash of tan and droplets of red. Lily scowled and saw a stream of blood falling from his chest to the snow.

" Merlin! We need help," Lily shouted. She turned and saw Jason and Potter getting up. Anger surrounded them in a cloudy red aurora.

" Oi! Evans go way don't make me hex you this is between me and Wood," James announced. Lily looked around her. Michael lay on the ground groaning in pain. Gideon was limping as he dueled Sirius. A large gash covered Benjy's left leg. Lily knew in her heart that they didn't have time.

" Bombarda," Lily yelled. She watched as the ground under them exploded. Lily never understood that experience of flying like a ragdoll during an explosion, but now she did. Her body was limp as it was thorn through the air. Blood fell on the pure, white snow below her. She felt herself catapult into a large yew tree. Her back and head cracked against the cold bark. Pain laced into her right leg. She couldn't fell her left arm. A sticky liquid drizzled on the snow below her. Blood, Lily faintly thought. She carefully stood and saw that the snow had been blown off the ground. The Marauders were pulling each other from the snow pile they luckily landed in. She couldn't see Gideon, Benjy, or even Michael.

They looked around, unable to hide how impressed they were at Lily's spell. Sirius Black saw Lily first. She watched him warily as he circled her. She walked back, feeling horrible pain surge inside her.

" Mudblood whores like you need to learn a lesson. Thankfully a friend of mine who graduated taught me a little trick. Sectumsepra," Sirius Black shouted.

Lily felt time slow around, her. But she was unable to move. A sickly invisible movement sliced towards her. Lily felt something slice into her chest. Darkness crept up on her, as finally her head cracked against a nearby rock.

Well isn't this a spectacular birthday, Lily thought thinking about the fact that at 12:00 in the morning sixteen years ago on January 30st, she was born.

The last thing Lily saw was a hazy streak of hazel, then everything fell into a blinding white light.

* * *

** still need a beta, pm me if interested, ( please ignore my horrible writing until then:)**

**R&amp;R**

**\- Rin Blake**


	3. Steal the Sky

**Chapter 3 Steal the Sky**

**(Hey Jude)**

* * *

People say that when they are unconscious they float in darkness. They are numb and don't feel anything. Lily didn't feel that way. She could feel her ribs crushing into her lungs. Pain shot through her veins. She couldn't move or see. Lily felt trapped. Agony surrounded her like a net, but there was nothing she could do. She screamed and screamed, but the torture did not relent. Eventually she stopped, there was not reason to scream, and not one was coming.

Lily could hear the thumping of her heart. She could feel the electric pulses of pain skyrocket in her veins. Yet there was nothing she could do. The pain would not relent, and it was too much for Lily to think of anything else. So she waited. Lily waited for the comforting arms of death to take her into its embrace. She waited for the pain to end. She waited for the sea of chaos to engulf her whole.

But it didn't. Lily felt the waves brush her skin, but they refused to engulf her whole. Lily could feel her eyes. She could feel her fingers. The pain slowly residing, but Lily couldn't wait. She urged her eyes open, and reality engulfed her.

The first thing she saw was a pair of hazel orbs. They were staring at her sorrowfully. Swirls of green and gold screamed agony and regret at her. She felt a strong hand brush her hair softly. Lily felt the presence disappear and looked up. The owner of the orbs had fled her presence. But the waves of chaos came crashing down sending Lily into the darkness.

She dreamed and dreamed. The pain was gone letting dreams engulf her. Lily stood in a field. She didn't immediately recognize it, but then memories flashed around her. Lily was standing in the field where she and her mother used to have picnics. It was about a mile from the Manor, and her mum used to apparate them there. It was the place Lily first performed magic.

She remembered eating cucumber sandwiches and sipping lemonade here. She remembered reaching out to a flower and watching the petals open gracefully at her mere touch. This field was where she was happy and at peace.

Lily looked around the field admiring the brilliant glow of the sun. She saw birds cross the air above her. She saw flowers sway with the wind.

" It's a lovely place. I loved to come here when I was pregnant with you. Your brothers didn't have the tolerance for flowers sadly. They never received the flower touch," a gentle voice chimed. Lily turned in shock from the voice. It was a voice she would never forget. She remembered the stories and lullabies it told her. She remembered the weeping sobs when she left.

" Mum," Lily whispered. The woman in front of her had long crimson hair that was pin straight. Lily inherited her curls from her dad. She had a glorious smile and sparkling green eyes. Delphina Gastor didn't have the emerald-green orbs of Lily; she had a set of olive eyes that twinkled with joy.

" Lily, you've grown," Delphina mused. Lily saw her mum walked up to her. She waited for the soothing embrace to engulf her, but it never did.

" Lily we don't have time. I need to go and so do you. You can't hide in your dreams anymore, its time to face reality," her mum scolded. Lily blushed, even when her mum was dead she still had reason to reprehend Lily.

" When I first came to England, I hated it. I hated the dreary storms and the lack of sun. But your father was my sun. I didn't need to clear blue skies of Greece, I just needed him," her mum murmured.

" Mum I need to know, how did you really die," Lily beseeched. Her mum eyed her curiously.

" I believe that Jules already told you," her mum answered shortly. Lily nodded but protested.

" Mum I'm not stupid. If father had Dragon Pox I would have been summoned sooner," Lily announced. Her mum broke into an eerie smile.

" Lily you haven't changed. It doesn't matter how we died. We died, you father and I no longer live," her mum answered with a crooked smile.

" If it doesn't matter how you died then why can't I know," Lily demanded.

" Lily some things are left better as secrets. Don't pry into things you'll regret," her mum answered. Her eyes became cold.

" No you don't get to decide what I do! You aren't even alive, and I haven't seen you in years. I didn't have a mom; do you know how horrible that was? You abandoned me, and it hurt. Goddamit it hurt! You don't even care about me. You and father only care about the impression you made on society," Lily screeched. Tears formed in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.

" Oh Lily my sweet daughter. You don't understand what I did. I sacrificed so much so that you wouldn't be trapped. Leave go back to France before its too late," her mum advised.

" I don't care. I'm staying in England I need to fight there's a war mum and your sons are fighting on the wrong side," Lily announced. Lily saw the field beginning to blur. Her mum's image flickered.

" Lily if you stay in England you will be trapped," her mum warned. Lily watched the field of her childhood and her mom disappear from existence. She shot up and felt eyes on her.

" Oh thank god you are awake someone get Pomfrey," a voice shouted. Lily looked up and saw the eyes of her fellow Gryffindors on her. Michael stood next to her bed clutching her hand in his. Lily gasped when she saw his arm. His eyes looked at where hers were and he shrugged.

" Lily it's not that bad. You've got worse, Pomfrey was going to send you to Mungos if you didn't wake up soon. You've slept for almost a week now," Michael pronounced.

" What happened," Lily whispered.

" Dumbledore won't tell us much. I think you were the last person to be awake during the battle. All I know is that you used an exploding spell and Benjy, Gideon, and I blacked out. Dumbledore said that Black used some dark spell on you, sliced your chest open. Black's been suspended for the next two weeks. Should've been expelled, he could have killed you," Michael answered.

" Where are Benjy and Gideon," Lily questioned scanning the crowd around her. Alice scowled and answered.

" After you blacked out. Potter and Gastor cursed Benjy. He's in a coma at St Mungos. Gideon's here, he got hit by a pretty bad slicing spell and has a few burns," Alice muttered.

" What happened to the Marauders," Lily implored.

" Those bastards should be expelled. They've got all sorts of connections on the board so for now Lupin has detention for the rest of the month. Black's suspended and will be on probation when he returns. Gastor and Potter are on probation with detention for a month. Dumbledore couldn't do much more than that," Adam announced.

Lily noticed that the hatred for the Marauders was universal for the Gryffindors. Before she could continue her interrogation, a petite woman burst into the room.

" The lot of you get out! Miss. Evans needs time to recover. Out! Out," the woman announced. The Gryffindors gave her meek looks and shot Lily a look of sympathy.

" Pomfrey I think our presence will do some good to Lils," Michael pleaded with a pout. Lily scowled, remembering Jason's warning about Pomfrey and Michael.

" None of that nonsense Wood all of you out," Pomfrey ordered. Lily gave the Gryffindors thankful smiles as they trooped out. She didn't notice that Frank Longbottom had stayed back.

" Mr. Longbottom why are you still here," Madame Pomfrey interrogated.

" I just need to speak to Lily about some prefect business. It will only take a few minutes," Frank answered. Pomfrey shot him a doubtful look but hustled to her office.

" Five minutes Mr. Longbottom," Madame Pomfrey called to him. Lily stared at Frank curiously. He watched her with guarded eyes.

" I'm not going to waste your time so here goes. Lily I don't trust you," Frank announced. Lily took this in lightly.

" You may try to hide whatever secret relationship you've got with Jason Gastor but it's not fooling me," he stated.

" There's nothing between me and Gastor," Lily protested.

" Well you do spend an awful lot of time with him. And why do you send killer glares at him during meals," Frank argued.

" Frank its complicated," Lily replied. Frank pursed his lips.

" Lily I've lost my dad. Whenever your around my friends they always seem to get into a fight, I can't lose them too," Frank begged.

" I'm sorry," Lily answered. A silence fell over them. Guilt churned in Lily's stomach as she watched Frank.

" Look Lily I don't have anything against you. I think you are a good person, but I don't know you. I don't want you to betray my friends or me. So when you are ready to uncomplicate things you have my welcome, until then please try to stay away from trouble," Frank told her. He gave her one last pitiful stare and walked out of the hospital wing.

Lily felt so wrong. She was lying to these people and putting them at risk, it wasn't right. Before she could do anything Madame Pomfrey bustled up to her.

" Miss. Evans we need to go over your injuries. Your left arm was broken; I've healed it while you were asleep. Try to avoid too much activity with it. Your right leg was a bit trickier. The bone shattered in three areas, so healing it will take another week. You had a long deep cut on the back of your head. Professor Dumbledore sorted that out before he delivered you here," Madame Pomfrey analyzed.

" Dumbledore found us," Lily questioned. Madame Pomfrey gave her an annoyed look for interrupting her but answered Lily's question.

" No after Mr. Black delivered that curse to your chest, I believe Professor McGonagall found Mr. Gastor fighting him. She took the Slytherins to Dumbledore and had the aurors in the village send you to me. Dumbledore came in while I was caring for Mr. Fenwick," Madame Pomfrey answered.

Lily blocked out the healer's rambles on her state in shock. Why would Jason fight Black? Weren't the Marauders too tight-knit for that?

" Poppy I think you've traumatized the poor girl for enough today. Go and get some rest I just need to have a word with Miss. Evans," a voice chuckled from the entrance to the hospital wing. Lily turned to it and saw Professor Dumbledore walking towards her.

" Headmaster, she's hardly able to stay up! This conversation can wait," Pomfrey protested.

" Sadly it cannot though. It will only take a few minutes," Dumbledore answered. Madame Pomfrey shot him an annoyed look but left the room.

" Miss Evans, I know that now is not a good time to talk. But I must know how are you," Professor Dumbledore questioned.

" I'm as fine as a person who was attacked can be," Lily answered.

" Good. I would just like to tell you that we couldn't do anything to keep your attackers from you. The school board believes that this attack was just some child play and is allowing Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, Mr. Gastor, and Mr. Lupin to stay in Hogwarts. But that is not why I am here. A friend of yours was expecting you at the village. He sadly never got the opportunity to see you. Yet he was informed of your attack. He is currently staying in Hogsmeade awaiting word of your condition. I believe that his name is Benedict Auclair," Dumbledore proclaimed.

Lily felt surprise grow in her chest. But she stifled it. Benjy didn't support her decision and now his presence would just be too much.

" Professor I would prefer for him to leave after you tell him that I do not care for his concern," Lily coldly responded. Dumbledore's eyes watched her lightly.

" Miss. Evans I will do so if that what you would like. But those words are not ones for a friend. They are ones for an enemy," Dumbledore mused.

" Benedict Auclair has no business concerning me Professor," Lily announced. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with something like empathy as he turned to leave.

" Remember that we will only prevail with love, Miss. Evans," he finished as he walked through the doors of the hospital wing.

Lily mulled over his words but chose to ignore them. All love had done was cause her pain.

Lily could feel the entire Great Hall watch her. She didn't ignore their stares; instead she calmly took them with stride. She heard the fan girls of the Marauders whisper cruel taunts. She heard Slytherins leering at her. Lily walked to the Gryffindor table and slid into the empty seat in between Emmeline and Marlene.

" Look's like Lily's got the crowd's attention," Alice muttered eyeing those watching them. Lily ignored their stares and leaned forward to grab the fruit bowl. Before she could, pain lanced into her chest and she fell back in her seat.

" Lily! Lily! Are you alright," Michael questioned. She felt the hot and concerned stares of students around her.

" I'm fine! Pomfrey wouldn't have let me out if I wasn't," Lily snapped. She ignored the pressing pain in her chest and grabbed the fruit bowl. She angrily chewed on slices of apples.

" Lily we aren't babying you. We just want to make sure you are all right. Black's a bastard, but he knows some dark spells," Fabian comforted. Lily gave him a tight nod and tuned them out. Lily was so confused. After being in the hospital wing for two weeks, Pomfrey finally let her got back to class. Her chest wounds were still healing and Pomfrey was positive they wouldn't scar. Her other injuries had healed days ago. Lily was worried about Benjy Fenwick though, he returned to school days after she woke but he was permanently scared. Thick, grotesque lines warped his arms. She really hated those bloody Marauders.

" Look's like Potter and Gastor are back from their probation. I heard Black's still got a week," Marlene muttered. Lily turned her body and felt the liquid gold eyes of Jason analyzing her. He looked disinterested, yet when he saw her bandaged torso and bruised face he flinched. His eyes bulged at the purple bruises decorating her arms and legs. Lily saw that he had a bandage wrapped around his right arm.

" Lily, Potter is giving you a murder stare," Adam voiced. Lily flickered her eyes to the form next to Jason. James Potter's molten hazel eyes were laced with rage. He glared at Lily as he spoke in harsh whispers to Lupin and Jason.

" Potter's just bitter that I beat him in a duel," Lily muttered. She turned and faced Michael.

" So Slytherin is already out for the Quidditch cup since Black, Potter, and Gastor are banned for the year. There's the Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff match, but Ravenclaw is shite this year. It's either Hufflepuff or us. That damn Diggory, thank god it's his last year. We could win if Lily goes for the snitch at the right time," Michael announced.

" Wood, she just escaped the clutches of Madame Pomfrey. Lets wait and see who wins that match," Gideon Prewitt joked. Lily smiled and joined the light banter of her fellow Gryffindors.

" I hear that the Wizengamot's getting serious about that blood tracking law," Frank stated darkly. Lily turned to him curiously.

" What's the blood tracking law?" she questioned.

" It's some pureblood bull. They want every known witch or wizard to let the Ministry record their blood purity. It's this absurd law William Gastor and Abraxas Malfoy proposed before Gastor's death. I hear the court's taking it seriously," Frank, answered disgusted.

" Don't worry Lils. Dumbledore would never let it get passed," Benjy responded. Lily nodded but something bothered her.

" William Gastor, wasn't he the dad of the Gastors," Lily questioned.

" Yes, five children and a detestment for muggles. I heard rumors that he was a death eater," Alice responded. Lily frowned, she never knew her father to be prejudiced.

" William Gastor also the biggest bastard to exist. I almost pity Jason for having to deal with a dad like that," Michael voiced.

" Why would you pity Gastor, his dad raised him to be like him. Probably gave him and those nasty brothers of his rewards for killing muggles," Frank muttered. Lily felt ill, she couldn't do anything to stop these people from speaking so harshly about her father. She loved him but she wondered if what they were saying was true?

" I'm sorry but I need to go talk to Professor McGonagall about the assignments I've missed. I'll meet Michael in Care of Magical Creatures," Lily suddenly announced.

" Lils are you sure? Professor McGonagall won't mind you missing a few notes for now," Emmeline queried.

" No its fine, I don't want to get too far behind," Lily stated. She grabbed her bag and walked from the Great Hall with a destination in mind.

It took some time for Lily to navigate through the moving staircases without the assistance of Michael or Marlene. But eventually she reached the third floor. Lily ignored the curious stares of the portraits on the wall and strode to classroom she touched the doorknob she heard voices from the room.

" Caradoc we can't position aurors around the ministry like that! It will draw too much attention from the undercover death eaters in there! We need to check suspected death eaters for strange activity and get their asses straight to Azkaban," the tenor voice of Bishop Shacklebolt echoed.

" Sending them to the Wizengamot's not doing any good. Malfoy and Black got out with a few name-dropping and bribery events. I hear that Crouch is considering letting us use the unforgivable, from desperation," a feminine voice announced.

" Well Tonks, it's not like we've got a choice. Sending a few hexes and silly jinxes at death eaters doesn't work," a boisterous voice protested.

" I've heard some rumors from the mainland. France isn't going to assist us in any way. They're saying they've got their own death eaters. But I heard from an auror in the French Ministry that they're supplying death eaters with information," Bishop intervened.

" Those bloody prisses! We fought with them during the troll war of 1654 and they can't send a few aurors to us," an annoyed baritone chanted.

" Edgar it's not even that. I've heard something from one of the Vances stationed there. They've got this pureblood family tree. Covers almost the entire pureblood population of Europe, imagine what they would do if France gave it to them," Bishop mused.

Lily internally gasped, they were talking about the family tree she made during an internship to the Ministry a few years ago.

" If France gives the tree to them, there's no limit to what they could do," a baritone stated. Lily felt ill. She was helping death eaters; she was just like her brothers.

" I've got a promise from Auclair that they won't, for now. That issue is being dealt with so gentlemen and Mrs. Tonks; I have a morning class today. I'll see you next week," Bishop summarized.

Lily heard the crackling noise of floo powder. She edged towards the wall near the class and slid to the ground. Thoughts screamed in protest to be dealt with. She threw her head back and gasped. Strands fell from her red ponytail as she thought. Lily noticed that the hallway was deserted but she didn't care.

It's all my fault, she thought. If the death eaters get their hands on that family tree there's no telling the limit to what they could do. Lily felt so frustrated. She couldn't sneak out of Hogwarts and into the French Ministry now. Besides the entire ministry had a new security system due to the attack two years ago. A horrible revelation came to her mind there was only one person she could trust to get that map, but she wasn't speaking to him.

When a solution to one of her problems came, another issue always formed. This conversation could not be dealt with by owl mail, if it got infiltrated all hell would break lose. No she needed to speak to someone in person, but Lily had no idea how she could get out of the castle.

A spark of an ancient memory flew into her head. Before her brothers stopped communicating with her completely, Jason had spoken of something he and his friends created in his second year.

_" It's a map you see,"_ he wrote to her. _"It's a map of Hogwarts, that'll tell the user any person on Hogwarts Grounds' location. It also points out some secret passages that even the groundskeeper doesn't know about. Remus came up with the idea and Sirius, James, and I started it. We're planning on finishing it soon, before the hollies. We're gonna call it the Marauder's Map," he wrote in a scrawl._

Lily had no idea if he had actually finished it, but it was her best way out of the castle and to Hogsmeade. Lily got up and sprinted from her spot. She ran and ran until her face lit up pink. Lily opened a door and felt the cool late winter air hit her. She scurried on the snow-trodden path and to the outdoor classroom where Care of Magical Creatures was taught.

The first person to see Lily was Michael. He watched her climb the snow-covered steps and slip into the class. Lily crossed her fingers and hoped that Professor Grubbly-Plank hadn't seen her.

" Miss. Evans, do care to explain why you are so late to my class," the stout woman questioned with a raised eyebrow. Lily flushed as she heard the snickers of her eighteen classmates.

" Hospital Wing," Lily gasped. She slid into the only empty seat in the back row, with no notice to who was her seat partner. The lie she told tinged her heart, but it was worth not getting detention.

The stout professor gave Lily a sympathetic nod and looked at her bruised face quickly before starting the lesson again. Lily pulled out her textbook and looked to the board. She groaned and closed her book. They were reviewing unicorns, something Beauxabatons covered in-depth.

" Did you hear about Julius," a deep voice whispered next to Lily. She jumped in shock and turned to look at the speaker. She sighed with relief when she met the gold eyes of Jason. She looked up and saw Potter sitting a row in front of them with a flask under his desk.

Jason sat next to her slouched in his seat with his legs kicked up. He glanced at Lily through his arrogant eyes before looking back at the board. Lily saw that most of the class was intently writing the notes on the board, including Michael who sat next to a tall blonde Ravenclaw boy.

" What about Julius," Lily drawled in a quiet voice. Jason turned to her with an amused smirk. He twisted his entire body facing her. Lily could see that he was twirling his quill in between the fingers of his left hand. Unlike their entire family, Lily and Jason were the only left-handed ones.

" I don't know if you'll care that much. Last I remember you were hexing my friends and I into a snow pile," Jason quipped.

" Jace aren't you one to talk? Last I remember your pal Black sliced my chest open," Lily muttered cruelly. She saw Jason's eyes flash with a glimmer of pain, which he quickly brushed away.

" Lils why do you think I'm not sitting with James. Besides the shit he's going through with his parents, Sirius sending that spell at you angered all of us. Sirius still isn't back yet, but he's caused a rifle between the Marauders. The fan girls are bemoaning their loss," Jason answered cautiously with a crooked smile

" Jace I don't care about your bloody drama, frankly it seems like you and the Marauders deserve a little difficulties. I'm only talking to you since I need something," Lily responded.

" Of course you do. When Lily needs something she finally acknowledges me, well Lils what do you want," Jason slurred.

" I need that map that you and your gang of imbeciles made. The one you mentioned in second year," Lily answered.

" What ever for little sister," Jason drawled with a dark smirk. Lily grabbed his wrist and tugged it down.

" Not so loudly Jace. I can't tell you why," Lily answered.

" No answer no map," Jason quipped. Lily groaned and covered her eyes.

" Jason I'm so close to begging you. It's really important," Lily beseeched.

" Sorry Lils but if you don't tell me why I can't help you," Jason finished. Lily thought about this and reached an answer.

" Fine. I need to talk to Benjy about our relationship," Lily muttered. She cringed as she said the lie. But Jason lapped it up.

" Why didn't you say something Lils, of course I'll be your cupid," Jason murmured with a mischievous smirk. " Tonight we have rounds together, I'll take you then. He told me that he's in Hogsmeade this week," Jason finished. Lily gave him a thankful nod as Professor Grubbly-Plank turned towards them. Her eyes flickered at Lily who began to write notes furiously. Jason sent her an eager wave, which she rolled her eyes at. She then turned back to the board.

" Still a goody-goody Lils," Jason snickered. Lily shoved him in the shoulder.

" Well Jace some of us actually have morals and character," Lily responded.

" I've got morals, have sex and play Quidditch. Throw some pranks in there and you've got my life story," Jason joked. Lily felt a hot gaze on her and looked up. She saw a pair of hazel eyes staring at her. Anger and wrath swirling with the twists of green and gold as they stared at her.

" I didn't know that you entertained mudbloods like Evans. How much is she charging you for a blowjob," James sneered. Lily turned to Jason, his face flushed purple with anger.

" Get over yourself James. Go back to that bloody bottle of firewhiskey. You can't even handle your parents dying sober, that's pathetic," Jason leered. Lily frowned as James turned fully toward them. He leaned heavily on their desk. Lily could smell fumes of alcohol from his mouth.

" Don't tempt me Gastor. I'll whip your ass in seconds," James muttered taking a sip from his flask. Lily grabbed her wand when she saw Jason curl his fingers around Potter's wrist. She watched Potter stare at Jason and Jason stare at Potter. Shivers erupted on her neck from the intensity of their stares.

" James don't, I know more than anyone what you are going through. Using alcohol to block out your demons isn't smart," Jason advised. Lily watched James frown at Jason.

" What and sleeping with dirty mudbloods is," James jeered. Lily felt her blood boil and before Jason could respond she did.

" Potter I know it's hard for you to carry that huge ego everywhere but didn't your mother teach you not to take your piggish ways out on others," Lily rebuked. She immediately regretted the words. Potter's eyes flashed dangerously.

He suddenly stood and grabbed his bag. The class turned and watched as he shoved his belongings briskly and roughly into it.

" Mr. Potter where do you think you are going," Professor Grubbly-Plank questioned. James shot her a furious glare as he slung his bag over his shoulder.

" I know detention tomorrow afternoon," he mocked. Potter slammed his chair into his desk and turned towards Lily.

" Don't think you can get away with talking to me like that Evans. Soon your kind will be nothing but slaves, in your rightful place once and for all," James slurred into Lily's ear. She shivered smelling hints of rugged earth and green apples mixed with alcohol.

Lily watched him send a glare at Jason and a mocked salute at Professor Grubbly-Plank as he strutted from the room. Lily could feel the inquisitive eyes of Michael Wood on her but ignored them. She ignored the sympathetic stare of Jason not because she wanted to. Lily felt so numb. Unlike the other people in her class, including Jason she saw something.

Lily saw a diamond tear of pain and suffering slip on James Potter's cheek, and it broke her heart. James Potter didn't seem like the kind of guy to cry that much.

"There you go Hest, now take this letter to Benjy. Remember him? He's got unruly chestnut hair and ocean-blue eyes. Has no regard for others, but hey everybody's got their flaws," Lily murmured. She was in the mail tower next to Hestia. The world was so small below them; she could see wisps of clouds from the height.

Hestia's hoot interrupted her thoughts. She watched Hestia glide out of the top window and into the early afternoon sky. Lily crossed her fingers hoping that Benjy would get her letter in time.

She brushed the snowflakes from her robes and began her descent from the mail tower. Lily wasn't particularly hunger so she decided to skip lunch in favor of finding the renowned Hogwarts Library. She skirted up staircases and ambled down hallways. She could feel the judging eyes of students and portraits tracing her bruises and bandages.

Ever since the duel in Hogsmeade, people were treating Lily differently. Before they were brave enough to hex and jinx her secretly. Now, no one dared to stop her. They were scared that they would end up like Sirius Black, suspended for attacking her.

Lily didn't like it. She felt uncomfortable with the way people were treating her, it reminded her of how students at Beauxabatons treated her. They knew that Lily was from an ancient pureblood line, and treated her like a goddess. But that wasn't her choice. Darcy Auclair was the one to tell the headmistress about Lily's lineage, and sometimes she hated him for it.

It was different in England. She never had her entrance into society and her parents had placed strategic confundus charms on those who knew her before her fall. Here it was as though Lily never existed. Her appearance helped. None of the pureblood families here had red hair other than the Prewitts. Yet their hair was more orange and ginger than red. They also had freckles sprinkled across their faces. Alice Prewitt was a mystery from the start. The Prewitt family had two sections due to there being two brothers who held the role of leader. Alice's blonde hair and lack of freckles made Lily assume that her mum wasn't a ginger.

Lily however, didn't have a single freckle. She had long, crimson hair that curled as it ended in the middle of her back. She preferred to keep it in a Dutch braid or a tight ponytail. Her skin wasn't the pinkish glow of the Prewitts, it was a creamy white glow that stubbornly refused to tan or gain a freckle. At night, thanks to her mother's genes, it gained a light silver glow. Her appearance was so different from the standard pureblood due to her mother's genes.

Her brothers didn't inherit her mother's genes at all. They were replicates of their father. The only one who looked any different was Pericles; as his skin was a lighter tan than the others. Thinking of her brothers made Lily wonder what Jason wanted to tell her about Julius. Lily once had close relationships with Jason and Pericles. Lucian and Cassius preferred distant letters and hugs. But Julius was almost a stranger to Lily.

Julius William Gastor was a tall man who looked like the sun. He was 25 years old, leaving a decade gap between him and Lily. The minute her graduated from Hogwarts, with perfect NEWTS, a headboy title, and a leading Quidditch season he immediately joined Puddlemere United playing as a Chaser. Julius had won over five Quidditch Cups, and eventually became captain of the team. Lily heard that he was offered to compete on the national team his second year but declined.

Julius was also cruel. He used to tug on Lily's pigtails and laugh at her green eyes. When he went to Hogwarts his fifth year, things got a bit better. Lily assumed that being a prefect had something to do with that. He began to tolerate Lily's hugs, but he was still so distant.

Lily sighed and continued her walk. She could see a carved sign that led to the Library and sped up. She softly opened the doors and shut them behind her. Lily marveled at the high ceiling library. Bookshelves coated the walls like paint, with gaps for ceiling to floor windows. Tables smeared with ancient ink stains and antique bookshelves sat in the middle of the room. Portraits of famous Hogwarts alumni were placed around the room. Lily immediately fell in love. She loved the large reading chairs and ink-stained tables. She loved the smell of musky books.

Lily walked over to an empty table and placed her bag there. She grabbed her notebook and saw that she needed to write on the Patronus Charm.

" I see you've found the Library Miss. Evans," a wise voice chuckled form behind her. Lily turned reaching out for her wand, but stopped when she saw the sage-like form of Professor Dumbledore.

" Its amazing! Back at Beauxabatons they were more concerned with mannerism than actual spellwork," Lily gushed.

" Ah yes, but you've seemed to learn some spell there. I heard from Mr. Wood that you have an excellent dueling sense," Dumbledore mused. He walked over to the table and took a seat across from Lily.

" Michael's just nice. If I had a good sense of spellwork than I would have protected my friends or even stopped that battle before it began," Lily muttered.

" Miss Evans have you heard of a fatal flaw," Dumbledore questioned.

" Yes it's a person's characteristic that's most likely to get them killed," Lily answered confused.

" You've got so much potential yet you refuse to acknowledge it. Magic is a very temperamental. In order to harness it you must be sure of yourself. Miss. Evans you may the potential, the courage, the heart for infinite abilities. But without the assurance to control your magic you will not be able to do the spells you want,," Dumbledore briskly stated.

" I'll work on that," Lily muttered sarcastically. Dumbledore's eyes gleamed for a minute but settled.

" Professor," Lily questioned.

" Yes Miss. Evans."

" I was wondering why our curriculum has so much focus on the Patronus Charm. I understand its purpose, allowing it to be taught in both Charms and DADA. But why have we spent a few minutes everyday working on it," Lily queried.

" You're the first student to notice that, Miss. Evans. It's quite simple really. I've heard rumors that Dementors are rebelling in Azkaban. The attack on Hogsmeade in December more than proved this. If they continue to escape then there is no limit to their destruction. It will be even worse if the Dementors ally themselves with Voldemort," Dumbledore darkly stated.

" So you're preparing us to deal with them," Lily assumed.

" Precisely. I am doing everything in my power to assure the safety of my students. Even if their parents doubt that," Dumbledore answered.

" Why would parents doubt that Hogwarts isn't safe," Lily interrogated.

" Miss. Evans you have to understand what its like to have a child in your care. Children are the only hope for our future, without them we would simply fade to history. I let ten essences of hope and innocence be destroyed on my watch. Parents are worried that they can no longer place hope in me," Dumbledore answered.

Lily noticed that he seemed to be speaking more from a first experience perspective and not a teacher's one.

" I would leave my hope in you Professor," Lily strongly stated. A smile crept on Dumbledore's face.

" Your hope would be guarded. I'm sorry to interrupt our conversation, but if we continue you will miss your transfiguration lesson," Professor Dumbledore stated. Lily looked at the clock on the wall and jumped up.

" Thanks Professor Dumbledore for this conversation and for the hope," Lily murmured with a light smile.

" You are more than welcome. Miss. Evans these are dark times, I'm hoping that I can trust you not to tell anyone of our conversation," Dumbledore questioned. Lily felt her heart falter at the thought of another lie.

" Of course. My lips are sealed," Lily assured.

" Thank you Miss Evans, remember that we are only truly strong when we have others to trust," Dumbledore mused as he strode out of the room.

Lily watched him leave and soon followed, mulling over his words. She didn't want to think about the war but she had to. The war was taking over her life and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

" Your sense of punctuality is surprisingly low," a voice snickered lowly. Lily turned around and saw Jason leaning against a window.

" Well your sense of consideration is too," Lily shot back.

" Remember who holds all the cards Lily," Jason responded. Lily watched him get off the window and walk over to her.

" Now lets get you to Benedict," Jason announced. Lily watched him reach into his pocket and pull a ragged piece of parchment out. He took his wand out.

" Lumos," Jason whispered. A golden light filled the room. Lily watched it curiously. Her lumos spell usually was a gentle wave of silver light.

" I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," Jason said with a devilish smirk.

" Jace I think every person living in England already knew that," Lily scoffed. Jason indicated for her to come up to him. Lily walked over to Jason warily. She gasped when she saw the parchment.

It was a large map of the castle. Floors and stairs and rooms included. Lily saw rooms that she never heard of before. Most surprising, were the small dots with labels on them scurrying across the map. Lily looked closer and realized that those were people in the castle.

" Impressed little sister," Jason questioned with a curled lip.

" It's a bit of decent spell work, but how does it help me get to Hogsmeade," Lily questioned.

" Follow me," Jason stated. He held the map with one hand and his wand in the other. Lily reached into her robes and grabbed her wand. She followed Jason barely able to keep up with his large stride.

He stopped abruptly when they reached a statue of a one-eyed hump-backed witch. It was a stone statue in the middle of a corridor. It gave a vibe of "ignore me to the world.

" Dissendium," Jason said calmly. Lily watched as the hump of the witch's back split open. Jason peered down and looked up.

" I'll go down first to check for monsters," he said with an evil smirk. Lily watched him jump into the hole and disappear. She gulped and looked around. Lily wondered if Jason was tricking her for a second but brushed away the thought. Jason may be mischievous but he wouldn't want Lily to break her legs.

Lily cautiously took her wand. " Lumos," she said. A light silver light echoed down the hole. She still couldn't see anything. Lily crossed her fingers and leaned down into the hole trusting Jason.

At first she was falling. Fear coursed in her veins as she wondered who would find her mangled body. But then she hit something it was a slide. Lily slid down on it until finally she fell on a mat. She brushed her robes and looked around.

" Boo," a voice said. Lily jumped clutching her heart and saw Jason laughing a few feet in front of her. Anger shot through her like a whip.

"Orbis," Lily shouted. Jason fell to the floor unable to get up, not that he cared.

"Petrificus Tolictus," Lily chanted. Jason's body paralyzed and he couldn't move.

" You're gonna have to help me up eventually," he said.

" No not really," Lily replied with a smile. She grabbed the Marauder's map from his hand and threw his wand a few feet from him.

" Have a good night down here. Maybe the monsters will let you go," Lily joked with a smile. She got up and walked down the path with her wand held out.

" Lily come one! Lils," Jason yelled. Guilt crept into her mind, but she pushed it away. Jason was a death eater. If he knew what she was doing he would do everything in his power to stop it.

Lily eventually reached the end of the tunnel. She pointed her wand at the dead-end, letting the silver light illuminate the room. She saw a small door and pulled it open. Lily closed it behind her and turned. Barrels of candy and chocolates surrounded her. I must be in Honeydukes, Lily thought. She walked through the aisles of candy and found a staircase.

Lily tiptoed up it and found herself in the close store. She slowly opened the door and left a rock near it to hold it open for her to return. Lily pulled the hood of her robe on her head and walked through the snow-covered streets of Hogsmeade. She checked her watch and saw that it was 9:25. She was meeting Benjy in the Three Broomsticks, a popular tavern for Hogwarts students, at 9:30. Lily laced through the crowds and eventually reached the cozy tavern.

A wave of warmth hit her as she walked inside. Lily looked around the tavern and saw the familiar sapphire eyes of Benjy Auclair. She relaxed and walked over to the table where he sat.

" Lils," he murmured. Benjy got up and Lily noticed that he looked taller. He threw his arms around her. For a moment Lily relaxed in his embrace. Then she remembered his outburst back in France and shoved out of his embrace.

" I'm only meeting you for a favor you owe me. I need you to do something for me," Lily stiffly stated. She slid into her seat and watched Benjy sit in his.

" Lils I want to say that I'm sorry about what I said. But I can't. I was right! You are covered in bruises and bandages. Lily you've been here for barely a month and you are already injured," he argued.

" Do you know who did this to me? Well I'll tell you, it was Jason's pal Sirius Black. So don't blame it on England. It was your friends who did this. Benjy I need to stay and fight. There's so much to lose here and I can't let that happen," Lily announced.

" Fine, it's your life to screw up. But I refuse to watch you do it," Benjy dead-panned. He stood, but Lily grabbed his wrist.

" You can leave once you do something for me. If you remember you owe me a favor Benedict Darcy Auclair," Lily coldly said. Benjy shot her an angry look but sat.

" So what do you want," he questioned.

" Why aren't you in school Benjy," Lily questioned. She changed the subject to think about how Benjy could help her.

" So now you care about me. Well I don't know why it isn't in the profit yet, but death eaters attacked Beauxabatons two weeks ago. Fifty deaths, half the school is obliterated. We were given the month off so they could rebuild the school," Benjy muttered.

" Shit did anyone we know die," Lily questioned. Her heart was breaking; she left friends behind at that school.

" The giants attacked only first and second year classes. Seemed planned. Remember Delacour; well his little sister Fleur is dead. Wouldn't be surprised if he named his first-born after her, heard they were close," Benjy slurred. Lily took a sip of the butterbeer she ordered.

" Benjy that's not something to joke about," Lily reprehended.

" We all need something to laugh about during these times," Benjy gritted. He took a swing of his drink, which smelled an awful lot like firewhiskey.

" Are you drinking? For Merlin's sake Benjy you are sixteen you are not even legal," Lily whispered.

" You never know when you're gonna die," he answered. " Now I heard you had a favor to take," he said changing the subject.

" Right, well a few summers ago I did some intern work for the French Ministry. I gave information for them to make the largest pureblood family tree in all of Europe. They needed a secret keeper for the map's location and wanted me to do it, thinking that no one would assume that a kid knew that map's location," Lily started.

" Merlin! You helped make that map," Benjy said. His eyes lit up and he indicated for Lily to continue speaking.

" Yes it was. I heard that Voldemort is after it. I can't leave school to get it since it will look too suspicious. So I need you to get it for me and bring it to me. I have to destroy it before Voldemort kills more innocents in France," Lily vowed.

" Lily don't say his name," Benjy swore. Lily looked at him, he was holding his arm and staring at her.

" Benjy you shouldn't fear the man's bloody name! That's cowardly," Lily scolded.

" We're not all brave like you," Benjy said taking a swing of his drink.

" So can you get me the map," Lily questioned.

" Why do you doubt me Gastor? I'll get it to you in perfect condition, just tell me where it is," Benjy said.

" Its in a village in Northern France. A muggleborn ministry official volunteered to go into hiding to protect it," Lily answered. She wrote the name of the village on a slip of paper and handed to Benjy. His eyes sparkled as he read it. Lily ripped the paper.

" Evansque," she announced. The paper broke into nothing and Benjy watched her. Lily took her wand and muttered a spell. A flash of green light hit Benjy in the head.

" Fuck! Lily what did you do," he grilled clutching his head.

" I kept a spell on you that will make sure you won't tell anyone where the tree is. Sorry Benjy but I've got to be careful who I trust. By the way I hope you want children, cause if you tell anyone where the map is, or attempt to steal it, you won't be having kids anytime soon," Lily answered. She stood and turned.

" It's been a pleasure Benjy," she said. Lily turned and left Benjy Auclair with a task and a threat. She walked out of the tavern and started her trek back to Hogwarts. Lily didn't notice that someone was watching her conversation, someone with a very distinct pair of hazel eyes.

" So what are your plans for Valentine's day," Michael questioned. Lily looked at him and scoffed.

" Eating a pack of Honeyduke's finest chocolate and doing homework," Lily answered. She had volunteered to help Michael take the Quidditch equipment back inside, but the temptation of flying was too much.

She was perched on her broom with her hair in a lazy ponytail. Michael flew next to her. She grabbed the Quaffle in his hands and sped towards the opposite hoops. Michael flew after her. She laughed and swung the Quaffle into the farthest hoop. It spun as it went though the hoop straight through the middle.

" Thank god we're on the same team! You can play every bloody position," Michael joked.

" No there's one position I've never gotten the hang of," Lily said. She remembered when her brothers noticed that she was able to fly. They took her to the pitch and latched bulky gear on her. Cassius had obviously been the keeper due to his immense talent with the position. Lucian and Pericles were partial to the beater position. Julius was amazing at playing as a chaser and Jason was taking after him. That left Lily. She made the teams even, but never took to being a chaser. When Benjy came over, before his family moved to France, he would play as a chaser.

Lily discovered her dad's old snitch one day when the boys were playing Quidditch outside. They attempting to teach her each of their positions, and she took after them immediately. That is except for playing as a beater. Lily could barely lift the club and swung it crazily with no aim. A bludger nearly hit her, and her brothers didn't want to risk getting scolded by their mother.

They sent her inside to get one of their dad's old brooms for her. But Lily had other ideas. She saw a golden ball in a glass case, and childhood curiosity got the better of her. Lily remembered the snitch's initial frenzy, and how when she touched it, it seemed to relax. She danced around her dad's office, as he was at the ministry that day, chasing the snitch.

That was how her brothers found her. They came to William Gastor's office to find Lily releasing and catching a snitch in seconds. After seeing her potential, Julius taught her how to fly and catch a snitch. Quidditch had always been a family sport. It was were her family disregarded old troubles and grudges and let the exhilaration of flying patch them together.

" Beater, I can't stand bludgers and they've got a mutual feeling towards me," Lily voiced wryly. She saw the Quaffle shooting back to them and flew after it. Michael followed her and indicated her to go to the ground.

" Lily the Slytherins practice here after us, they'll be coming out of the locker rooms any second," Michael specified. Lily ignored him and shot goal after goal at the hoops. Michael sighed and flew to the goals blocking her shots.

" I didn't no you were afraid of those snakes," Lily jested as she toss the Quaffle at the left hoop.

" Lily Madame Pomfrey just removed your bandages. I'd prefer for her not to put more on you," Michael revealed.

" Pomfrey's a miracle worker. I don't have a single scar," Lily answered. She sighed at the pointed look Michael gave her.

" Fine we'll leave," Lily muttered. She held the Quaffle in her hands and flew down to the grassy ground of the pitch. Michael followed her and they put the Quaffle in the Quidditch ball chest. Lily looked up and felt the midafternoon sun beat down on her.

" Oi Wood! This is a Slytherin practice. You're too prissy to be a Slytherin," a voice shouted. Lily looked over and Evan Rosier walking up to them.

" Rosier you may not have noticed, but half your team has been suspended. I wouldn't be talking if I were you," Michael answered. Lily watched the three other members of the Slytherin team march out of the locker room. She saw three figures come out of the entrance.

" Evan don't talk to blood traitors like Wood here. Potter told me that Evans whores herself out to all the Gryffindors," a ferrety voice chuckled. Lucian and Cassius shot the boy annoyed looks.

" Wood these are the replacements for Jason, Potter, and Black. Macnair, Goyle, and Crabbe. They've got what we call rough talent and loads of dirty tricks up their sleeves," Lucian drawled. Lily felt sickened as his speech. He was willing to let these imbeciles injure other students for a Quidditch Cup.

Lucian looked over at Lily and his eyes sparkled with amusement. " I heard about the incident with Jason the other day. Never knew you had it in you to be so Slytherin," he jeered. Lily paled and saw Michael look at her apprehensively.

" I think you need to get your eyesight checked Gastor. I'm wearing Gryffindor colors for a reason," Lily said stiffly. She grabbed the Quidditch equipment kept it away.

" Lily what was Gastor talking about back there," Michael interrogated. Lily turned and saw that he was jogging up to her. They walked up the path and to the castle.

" I stunned Jason Gastor and ditched him. I wonder who freed him," Lily said with a blush. Michael looked relieved and roared with laughter.

" Probably one of his groupies who stalks the bloke. Thank Merlin I don't have groupies. My good looks are too much for them to handle," Michael joked.

" Once again your modesty astounds me," Lily said sardonically. She sighed with comfort as they entered the warm castle. She led Michael to the Gryffindor tower.

" So what are your plans for Valentine's day," Lily questioned with a blush. She felt Michael watching her and a blush crept up her throat.

" I have a date with a pack of Honeyduke's finest chocolate, some homework, and a redhead," Michael responded. Lily looked up and saw his lip twitching into a smile.

" Well Mr. Wood I hope the girl can make it through a day suffering with your ego," Lily joked with a smile.

" I hope so too," Michael answered with a full grin. Lily watched Michael say the password to the Gryffindor Common Room with a smile. Even in times like this, there was something to look forward to.

" I hope you brought that chocolate," Lily teased. She was sitting outside near the Black Lake. Michael had kept a heat charm on the blanket she was sitting on and they were sprawled out on it. A few textbooks and scrolls lay near them, but they were neglected for a great view.

Lily watched the sun bask on the snow-covered ground. A light sprinkle of snow remained as a reminder of the winter. Spring was coming soon, but winter made sure to make Lily remember that it was still around. Lily shivered and felt Michael wrap his cloak around both of them.

She remembered what Jason said to her a month ago and shrugged the cloak off. Lily watched the late morning sky and reveled in the silence. Most students and teachers had gone down to Hogsmeade. It was a rarity to enjoy this type of silence, especially in the world she lived in.

" Of course I did Miss Evans," Michael teased. He pulled a box from his bag and handed Lily a piece. She munched on it and sighed. Relaxation was fun, but she needed some action.

" What would you say to a one-on-one game of Quidditch Mr. Wood," she queried. Michael looked down at her with a smile.

" Is eating chocolate and doing homework not your kind of thing Miss Evans?"

" It is but the Pitch isn't empty that often. We should take advantage of this situation," Lily teased. She slid up and watched Michael summon everything into his bag.

" Let's do that," Michael said. She walked to the Pitch with him. A gentle silence enveloped them demanding to not be broken. When they reached the Pitch, they entered their gender specific locker rooms. Lily changed into a pair of athletic tights and fitted, longs-sleeve t-shirt. She whipped her hair into a Ponytail and accioed her broom from her room as she walked on the Pitch. She saw Michael speaking to a tall boy and walked over. Her broom flew into her hands as she approached them.

Lily frowned when she saw that the boy was Jason. They didn't notice her, since they were immersed in their conversation. She could hear the low vibrations of Jason's voice.

" Wood, I think you are a little shit," Jason started.

" Oh that's how you get someone to like you. Mummy taught you so well," Michael sneered.

" Don't talk about my mother Wood. I need you to do something for me," Jason replied.

" I should get a camera. What does the great Jason Gastor need little blood traitor Michael Wood to do," Michael jeered.

" Wood I need you to stay away from Lily," Jason said. Lily raised her eyebrows and listened.

" That's cute does Jason Gastor have a crush on a muggleborn. What would your dad say," Michael snapped.

" Wood don't test me. And you barely know Lily not like I do. She's not someone you should be in a relationship with. She belongs to someone else," Jason ordered darkly.

" Lily's not a pureblood Gastor. She isn't controlled by those damn laws," Michael muttered.

" Even if that's so she still can't be with you. You are meddling with my business, my family's business. Lily is too innocent for you. I swear if you hurt her, I'll kill every friend of yours in front of your eyes," Jason vowed. Lily turned green at his promise.

" Gastor do explain why you care so much about Lily," Michael drawled. Jason's eyes flashed.

" Lily isn't who you think she is Wood," Jason muttered. Lily watched him leave the Pitch. Lily watched Michael kick off on his broom and decided to leave him. She walked out of the pitch and towards the edge of the forbidden forest looking for an escape.

She closed her eyes. Lily didn't know what would happen between her and Michael. Lily didn't believe in dating. Maybe it was the way she was raised.

Purebloods only dated if they didn't have a betrothal, but Lily did. Yet that wasn't even why she didn't date. It wasn't from lack of attention, boys at Beauxabatons and Hogwarts alike had asked her out. Lily just never felt a spark with them. They didn't burn her soul with passion and light her up in an explosion of fireworks. Yet, her romantic philosophies weren't made to survive a war. They were dangerous ones.

The truth was really simple. Lily was too scared to love and she never had a purpose to leap off the edge fearlessly. Lily sighed and tried to think about Michael in more than a platonic way, but he wouldn't ignite her. Benjy was like her brother, but there was darkness surrounded him. She opened her eyes and a flash of hazel appeared.

Lily groaned, Potter, that bastard. She saw James standing forlornly by the edge of the forest. Lily assumed that he and Jason would be sleeping with as many girls as possible today. But he wasn't. Lily watched his hazel eyes flash as they met hers. She gasped and walked back.

She heard the crunch of his shoes on the snow and backtracked. Apprehension grew in her stomach. She reached into her pocket, but realized that her robes were still at the pitch. She was defenseless. Lily looked up and saw that Potter was gaining on her. She knew that if she ran, he would pursue. Lily slowly controlled her feet.

She looked up and saw Potter's hazel eyes a mere foot from her emerald ones. Lily felt the prickly bark of a tree rub on her back. She was trapped. Lily met Potter's eyes furiously. But he didn't care. His eyes were laced with something. Lily couldn't tell how he was feeling. His eyes jumped all over her face, as if he had never seen her before.

" What the hell Potter! What are you doing," Lily protested. Potter was reaching to her hair. Lily squirmed against the tree but Potter pressed closer to her. Lily shivered when his fingers brushed her hair. A spark of electricity jumped from him to her when he brushed her forehead.

" You look like Christmas, Evans," Potter choked. Lily gasped, did he know who she was. Lily remembered that he said the same thing at the Malfoy Christmas Ball. She looked down and felt his other hand encircle her body possessively. His eyes looked at her curiously.

" I hate mudbloods so much. You're the sign that magic can be given and taken so easily. That scares the shit out of me. I'm trying and trying to hate you. But there's something about you Evans. I want to hate you so much, it's burning me from the inside. But your hair's so soft. I thought it would light me in flames, it isn't. Your eyes, their like windows to your soul," Potter murmured. Lily stiffened against him.

" Potter are you drunk," Lily questioned with a quirk of her head. Potter's eyes lit up with laughter.

" It's okay Evans, I won't hurt you. I think I drank some expired Firewhiskey that was laced with veristaserum. I don't know what I'm doing Lily. Lily that's a pretty name. Lily Lily Lily. Sounds like angels," Potter purred.

" Potter," Lily murmured. He looked at her, and Lily saw flames exploding in his eyes.

" Lily," he crooned. Lily felt butterflies erupt in her stomach when he said her name. She reached into Potter's pocket as he stroked her hair drunkenly. She found his wand and pulled it out.

" Petrificus Tolictus," Lily shouted. Potter's eyes flashed with surprise as he fell to the ground with a thud. Lily looked at him and saw blood seeping from his head. Lily clutched her chest stunned. She honestly didn't mean to hurt him. Lily placed his wand near him and heard him moan.

" Lily my mum's dead. She's dead and I'll never see her again. Oh god it hurts so much. It hurts almost as much as it does to see you with Wood. Lily are you dating him," Potter beseeched. Lily blushed shocked. She sat on the snow-covered ground near Potter and took his wand.

Lily felt horrible. James Potter seemed so untouched. His hatred and disgust for her was an innocent one. He was only acting the way he was raised. Lily cradled his head in her arms, and felt his sticky blood on her arms. She let him mumble incoherently as she sifted her hands through his hair trying to find the source of the blood.

Lily finally understood why so many girls wrote poems and songs about his hair. It was so soft, it felt like angel wings. Lily blushed at her thoughts. James Potter was still a prat, a prat with really soft hair.

" My mum taught me how to be a chaser. Most people assume it was my dad, but he was a seeker. My mum gave me my first Quaffle, my dad chucked it in a bush and showed me his snitch from his last Quidditch game at Hogwarts," James told Lily. She nodded and took his wand out. It wasn't that compatible with her, but it let her use it.

" Vulnera Sanetur," she said confidently. Lily watched the skin that had been ripped apart hear the top of his head heal. She could feel the blood stop flowing and gingerly felt around his head for other wounds.

" Lily what's your mum like," Potter questioned. Lily sighed and answered.

" She's dead," Lily said sadly. Potter twisted his head and looked at Lily. Lily could feel the pain openly displayed in her eyes wave at the pain in his.

" What was she like," Potter questioned. Lily felt memories she locked up refusing to tell to her friends and brother fly through her mind. Not even Benjy knew some of these things. But here she was, willing to tell the hazel-eyed boy in her lap.

" She was like a snow storm. One minute it's snowing light powder, the next it's hailing ungodly disasters," Lily said with a smile. Her father told her that she got her temper from her mother.

" You know what really sucks though? Its having to deal with all the I'm sorry for your losses. I hate that. I've only gotten one from Professor Dumbledore but it felt so wrong," James mused. Lily nodded. She could feel his blood beginning to dry.

" Terego," she murmured. The blood vanished from the ground, her hands, and his hair. James muttered thanks and relaxed his head in her lap.

" Lily will you sit with me," he questioned cautiously. Lily mulled this over. She didn't feel scared around him, no she felt comfortable; more comfortable than she had been in years.

" Sure," Lily said with a light smile. She laid down next to Potter in the snow-covered edge of the forest staring at the sky. She shivered and he smiled. He tugged her towards her and Lily leaned against him. Her head fit perfectly against his shoulder. Lily felt wrong but so right. Potter was drugged, and the right thing would be to take him to the hospital wing. But Lily didn't want to make him face reality yet.

"Sometimes Jason says your name when he asleep. You spend so much time with him," Potter voiced bitterly. Lily felt him wrap his arm around her and tuck her into his side.

" Jason's like an annoying over protective brother," Lily admitted wryly. James smiled at this. She felt his chin lean against her head lightly and smiled.

" The sky's so beautiful. I love this time of day. Right before the sun sets and the sky's a collage of oranges and purples and reds," Lily contemplated.

" I love dawn. I usually go for a run in the morning and watch the sky. The sun is on one side of the sky, and the moon's on the other. The sky's not that light blue it usually is. Its more of an azure," Potter admitted. He began humming a tune that made Lily stiffen.

She recognized that melody from the Christmas ball. She remembered her partner was a night-cloaked man with hazel eyes. Realization hit her. She had danced with James Potter that night and she had never felt better, well until now.

Lily shot up with disgust. Waves of reality hit her. Lily refused to believe what was happening. James Potter was a disgusting arse of a man. She couldn't have feeling for him. She refused to! James Potter had ridiculed her for the past two months and let his friend almost kill her.

" Get off of me Potter," Lily deadpanned. Potter's eyes flashed in pain as he looked at her.

" What," he murmured.

" You deserve it you deserve all the pain you are going through! For years you tortured the students here, and for months you tortured me! A dance and a damn conversation aren't going to change the horrible things you've done! You don't deserve my empathy or my sympathy," Lily screeched. She shoved Potter from her and stood. Sadly for her Potter had quick reflexes even while inhibited.

" Evans what did you say," he gritted. His hand encircled her wrist and refused to let go. Lily's eyes widened as she struggled against him. He grabbed both of her hands and pinned them behind her back.

" Let go of me Potter," Lily shouted. She thrashed against him. He sighed with vexation and wrapped his other arm around her body. She was pressed against him and glared at him.

" What did you say about a dance? Holy shit, you were the girl at the Malfoy ball! But there was a spell that only let purebloods in how did you get in," he realized. Lily gasped in his arms. How could she be so stupid? Now Potter knew her secret.

" James," Lily begged. Potter relaxed his hold on her when she said his name. Lily felt butterflies burst from her lungs when she said his name, but she choked them down. Lily took this opportunity and grabbed the wand from his pocket. She shoved her way from his grip and pointed it at him.

" Lily you're not gonna hurt me. I know that you are a pureblood just tell me your last name," James beseeched. He held his arms up mockingly and wore a smirk. Lily felt waves of revulsion crash on her. She realized with dread what she had to do.

" Its Gastor you bastard," Lily prompted. Potter's eyes flashed with this revelation but Lily didn't give him the opportunity to speak.

" Obliviate," she shouted. A spell shot from the wand in her hands and hit James in the chest. He looked at Lily with painful eyes before he fell to the floor.

Lily felt horrible for taking his memories from him. But she couldn't let Potter run around the school telling people her secrets. Her memory erasing spell would make him forget the last 24 hours. Lily threw his wand near his fallen body and ran as fast as she could from him. She ran and ran her heart racing. Even though she had taken his memories, she still had hers. And they would haunt her every night.

Lily shot up from her bed with sweat dripping down her face. She held her face in her hands and moaned. Ever since her encounter with Potter in the forest a week ago, his eyes and presence remained in her dreams. They weren't nightmares like before. They were sweet dreams. Lily hadn't gone a single night in the past ten years without a nightmare. But one encounter with James Bloody Potter changed all that.

His smile and laughs haunted her. Dreams of his embrace and his musky scent of green apples and the woods filled her. She hated seeing his hazel eyes every night. She hated that she secretly loved those dreams. Lily rubbed her eyes and pushed the curtains of her bed aside. The early morning sky shone lightly through the window. It was a winter dawn. The sky was still dark, but the gentle light of the moon was visible, as was the bright light of the sun.

Lily could see the outlines of her sleeping roommates and quietly slid out of her bed. She tiptoed into the bathroom and quickly brushed her teeth and showered. After sliding into her uniform, she kept her wet hair into a tight braid. Lily grabbed her bag and books from her desk. She slid her shoes in and left the room. Lily walked out of the common room and began the long trek to the Great Hall.

She reveled in the morning silence. Lily hummed a tune that she was unable to identify as she approached the Great Hall. She checked her watch and saw that it was 6:50.

Lily found that very few people came into the hall this early. She was surprised to see that Cassius was one of them. He sat at the Slytherin table thumbing through a large book. Lily made a quick decision and walked over to him. She didn't know if there were any rules that kept her from sitting here, but she didn't care.

" Do you mind if I sit for a minute," she asked breaking the silence. Cassius looked up and gaped at her for a second, but motioned for her to sit. She slid into the bench next to him and grabbed a green apple. She blushed when she smelled the scent of James Potter come out of it. Lily glared at the apple in frustration.

" What's that apple done to you, Petal," Cassius joked. He closed his book and looked over at Lily. She reddened from his childhood nickname.

" Nothing Cass," she replied. Cassius smirked and Lily was reminded of Jason for a moment. Cassius should have been in Ravenclaw, he really should have. Pericles was the only Gastor brave enough to go to a house other than Slytherin. He thrived as a Ravenclaw. Cassius was quieter than the other Gastors, sometimes fading to the background. Yet he never seemed to mind.

" So sister dearest Jace told Lucian and I about your relationship with a Michael Wood care to elaborate," Cassius prompted.

" There's no relationship. He's just a friend," Lily mumbled chewing on her apple.

"Well then, I guess Lucian wins that bet," Cassius stated. Lily rolled her eyes. Her brothers always loved a good gamble.

" Cass a few weeks ago Jace mentioned something about Julius," Lily pressed. Cassuis turned to her with a glint in his eyes.

" Jace needs to learn when and who to tell things to. Its nothing Julius just gained a rather good position that will uphold our family," Cassius answered. Lily's heart faltered when she realized what Cassius was talking about.

" So he's become some sort of death eater general," Lily gritted.

" Don't be blunt Lily. We try to keep our holiday activities a secret," Cassius replied.

" Do the professors know about those activities," Lily questioned.

" That's not your concern Lily. It's been great bonding with you, but I think your Gryffindor pals just entered the hall. Wouldn't want to get caught with a death eater would you," Cassius finished.

Lily saw the 5th and 6th year Gryffindors had entered the hall. She sent Cassius a wave as she finished her apple. Lily ambled over to the Gryffindor table.

" There you are! Alice was so worried. She thought that death eaters got you in the middle of the night," Fabian joked. Lily blushed and took a seat in between Adam and Gideon.

" Sorry I was in the library finishing some divination homework," Lily admitted.

" I don't understand why you and Marlene bothered with that class," Benjy stated.

" Fenwick all we do is drink tea and predict each other's death. We get bonus points for the more morbid the death is. I think it's a pretty good class," Marlene scoffed.

" Marley just likes it since when she's paired with Black she can predict his death," Lily revealed. The Gryffindors laughed at this.

" I heard the Black's coming back today. Potter's returning from his mum's funeral too" Frank stated. Lily felt dismay enter her mind. She would have to suffer a Divination lesson with all four Marauders.

" Dorea Potter's funeral was horrid. Luckily we all went. Except for Lils and Benjy. Let me tell you both of you are lucky for not being purebloods. The entire thing was a death eater convention," Adam moaned. Lily gave him a stiff smile.

The morning after she oblivated Potter, she had heard the Marauders' fan girls bemoaning that the four of them had left campus for Mrs. Potter's funeral. Lily was relieved to endure a weekend with none of the Slytherin purebloods. Potter and Black stayed back for a week and were returning today.

The past week was so confusing for Lily. She waited for a response from Benjy Auclair, but it was in vain. She tried to sleep but Potter was in her dreams. She went to the Pitch, but Michael was always there. And with Michael came feelings Lily didn't want to confront. Her latest sanctuary was the library.

Since childhood books provided a salvation from the horrors of her life. When she was first banished to Greece, she made it through all of Ovid and Homer's works within the first month. When she fell from her place in society, she found comfort in the large library of the Auclair Manor.

Lily wondered how Darcy Auclair was doing. She hadn't heard anything about him other than Dumbledore's comments back in December. Lily felt guilt, with Benjy hunting for the map and with her in England, Darcy was alone. She set in her mind to write him a letter later in the day.

" Trouble, looks like Potter brought Black back with him. It's a Marauders reunion," Fabian muttered. Lily looked over to the Slytherin table and saw the Marauders embracing. The entire hall was watching, but it felt sacred. She felt guilty for even glancing their way. Even the Marauders deserved some privacy sometimes.

Lily was about to turn, but she saw Potter turn towards her. His eyes had traces of curiosity in them instead of the usual sneer. She turned refusing to look at him. She turned and saw owls swooping in from the windows.

Lily saw a few black owls fly in and groaned. An owl dropped a copy of the Daily Profit in front of her. She reached for it and paled as she read the headline.

" Damn, Unknown attack in Bristol. Five wizards and witches dead. Fifty muggles killed," Frank muttered. Lily looked at her own copy of the paper and saw that the story had been given a bare two sentences. She skimmed the rest of the paper, trying to find something about the attack.

" This is utter bollocks! The Profit's gone mad; they've completely disregarded the attack for a scoop on the life of bloody Dorea Potter. This isn't journalism its bribery," Emmeline seethed. Lily nodded her agreement. The Potters must have paid the Profit to write about their loss. But they didn't need to monopolize the entire newspaper.

" Purebloods supremists are taking over the Profit. No sane person would force journalists to write about what type of soup some pureblood used," Benjy grumbled. Lily heard the other Gryffindors mutter their agreements.

" We should get going. Class starts in ten minutes," Gideon said. Lily remained silent and followed the other Gryffindors out the Great Hall. A question bubbled in her throat as she and Marlene walked to the Divination Tower.

All of the Gryffindor 6th years had classes together, except for some taking Care of Magical Creatures instead of Muggle Studies. Lily and Marlene had every class with Michael and Benjy Fenwick with the exception of their electives. Lily had Care of Magical Creatures with Michael when Marlene and Benjy took ancient runes. Lily and Marlene had Divination when Michael and Benjy had Muggle Studies.

The Gryffindor 6th and 5th years were particularly close, but where were the seventh years? Lily had seen two of them at prefect meetings, Emma Vanity and Kingsley Shackebolt, the younger brother of Bishop. Yet they never made a move to speak to either the 5th or 6th years. Instead they sat together whispering through the entire meeting.

The other five Gryffindor 7th years remained as aloof as Kingsley and Emma. Lily saw them sitting in a small huddle in the common room with an aurora of don't disturb us. Her friends refused to even speak of them. Lily could only think of one incident when Michael mentioned them fighting in Hogsmeade.

" Hey Marlene, why are the 7th year Gryffindors so aloof," Lily questioned. She could see a flash of a grimace on Marlene's face before it faded.

" It's complicated. They were always a tight bunch, but they branched out. Shacklebolt and Gwyneth used to play on the team with Oliver Waterford. The Jones twins were expected to be heads of the dueling club. Even Dirk Cresswirk used to tutor the third years. But that was before this summer. There are a ton of rumors what happened, but they're pretty lame. I heard a good one a few weeks ago. They were invited to join some group that fights the death eaters back. But here's the catch, it's not a ministry organization. I think that they must of dropped all the their school activities to have more time for fighting You-know-who. The only exceptions were Oliver Waterford and Gwyneth Jones. They were on the Quidditch team together since second year and refused to quit like Shacklebolt did," Marlene mused.

" What happened to them," Lily grilled.

" What else; the war. Waterford's sister died in the Hogsmeade attack and he took an offer to play for some league team. Couldn't face the ghosts I guess. Jones, she never returned after the summer. She's doing fine, playing as a chaser for the harpies. But Hestia Jones the one with the brunette hair never really forgave her. The 7th years isolated themselves and left us to die," Marlene announced.

" They must have had a reason," Lily replied.

" Lily I'm going to tell you something. But you need to never bring it up in front of Alice understood," Marlene said. Lily nodded and Marlene pulled her to a hidden corner near the staircase.

" Alice used to have an older brother, Neville Prewitt. He was so friendly, best friends with everybody type of guy. Frank used to look up to him. He should be a 7th year, he should've been head boy and gone on to be an auror," Marlene revealed.

" What happened," Lily queried. Marlene sighed and Lily could see tears forming in her eyes.

" he was with Alice and Frank over the summer at the Prewitt town house in Liverpool. Death eaters attack the town, and he went to help some muggles. Forced Alice and Frank to stay at home. Aurors found his body the next day. He was tortured so badly. Alice was the only one to see his body; she still gets nightmares about what they did to him. It was a closed-casket funeral," Marlene croaked.

Lily felt nausea emerge in her gut. The death eaters didn't care or notice that he was only a student that he wasn't meant to die.

" After that. We came on the train to school in September. We used to all cram in a cabin, all twenty something of us. But when we went to the compartment where the 7th years were, they closed the door. It killed Alice to see her brother's friends treat her like dirt. It's okay we've gotten over it. The 6th years took over as the moral guidance of the Gryffindors," Marlene finished.

Lily could see a tear sparkling near her face. It was one of anguish and sorrow, but it wasn't weakness, it was a tribute to the fallen Neville Prewitt. Lily pulled Marlene into an embrace of strength but not comfort.

This war was killing them slowly but with precise wounds.

Lily and Marlene managed to slip into the Divination Tower a mere three minutes after class started. Lily led Marlene to their desk in the back of the room. Sadly, the Marauders had decided to sit in the desks surrounded them. Lily ignored their stares and quickly got Marlene to sit.

Marlene was still shaken by her revelation. Lily noticed that her eyes were red and tear-marks stained her cheeks. Lily looked to the front of the room and saw that Professor Omina was passing crystal balls around. She groaned at the idea of another lesson "dabbling in the future."

Lily grabbed her Divination scroll and pulled out a quill. She waited for the crystal ball to come their way.

" Marley are you sure you're okay? I can tell Professor Omina that you are feeling ill. It's not too late to escape," Lily joked weakly. Marlene through her an appreciative smile but remained silent.

" McKinnon you're not looking so good. Did Prewitt scare you with his disgusting blood traitor ways," a deep voice chuckled. Lily looked up to the pair in front of her and saw Sirius Black holding the bin of crystal balls.

" Thanks for your concern Black but why don't you butt out," Lily tersely replied. She reached over table for the bin, but pulled back when pain lanced through her torso. Lily hissed and grabbed her chest.

" Lily are you okay," Marlene questioned. Lily threw on a bitter smile.

" As fine as a girl who was cursed three weeks ago can be," Lily muttered. She saw Jason flinch to her right.

" Didn't see you there Evans. You made a mistake that day. I'm going to make you pay for every second I spent away from Hogwarts," Black vowed. Lily grimaced.

" You can't even duel properly without resorting to dirty tricks," Lily announced. Anger raged in Black's eyes and he pulled his wand out. Lily pushed herself back against her seat as he leaned towards her and Marlene.

" Don't make me angry Evans," he threatened. Lily stared at him defiantly.

" Sirius enough," a voice gruffly ordered. Lily saw James Potter turn from his seat next to Sirius and place a hand on Black's shoulder.

" Just let me teach the mudblood a lesson Prongs," Sirius said briskly. Lily heard a shatter to her left and saw Jason looking at the glass remains of his crystal ball.

" Mr. Gastor be gentle! These balls are very delicate and expensive," Professor Omina ordered. Jason smirked at her cheekily and drew his wand muttering a quick reparo spell. Professor Omina bristled as the glass fragments bounced together.

" Just give us the damn balls Black," Marlene muttered. Lily raised her eyes at Marlene's gruff tone. Sirius ignored her.

" I dunno McKinnon you were awfully late to class. Maybe you should be punished," Black wicked drawl. Lily watched Marlene's eyes flash angrily but acted before Marlene could.

" Fuck! Holy shit what are these," Black screamed. Huge winged shapes flew from his nose and attacked him. The Marauder fan girls went into hysterics watching their beloved "Siri" get mauled by monsters. Marlene looked at Lily amused.

" My little Lily's all grown up hexing Black! Wow that's amazing," Marlene crowed. The other Marauders turned to the pair of girls with blank faces.

" Evans what did you do to him," Potter demanded. Lily almost flinched at the tone of his voice.

" Its just a Bat-Bogey hex Potter. Don't worry I'm not spectacular at them. It'll wear off in an hour," Lily declared. Jason and a surprisingly sickly Remus rolled their eyes at her. Potter appraised her for a moment before turning around. Lily though she was hallucinating when she saw a ghost of an amused smirk on his face.

" Owl mail ten o clock," Benjy proclaimed. The other Gryffindors stared at him skeptically.

" You lot are so drab! None of you damn purebloods get my amazing jokes. Even Lily doesn't. Don't they have movies or the telly in France," Benjy bemoaned.

Emmeline and Adam exchanged bemused smiles that Lily noticed. It was a relief to be surrounded by people who still had hope in such dark times.

" They have different movies and shows in France," Lily admitted thinking about a time when she went to a muggle movie with Benjy Auclair. She watched the owls swoop in from the sky. Lily was relieved when she didn't see any black ministry owls.

Lily turned back to her sandwich, not noticing the owl swooping over her. She looked up when a letter fell in front of her. The owl wasn't familiar to her and flew off. Lily grabbed the letter while the Gryffindors chatted about some dueling club event.

She pried it open and saw Benjy Auclair's familiar penmanship. After excusing herself from the table Lily sprinted to the Library. It was empty except for a stout Librarian and a few third years cramming for an exam. Lily went over to her usual table and pulled the letter out of the envelope.

_Dear Lily,_

_It took weeks of hunting and eating disgusting muggle French food (did you know that they eat fish eggs!) but I've finally got your bloody map. I'll be in Hogsmeade near the Shrieking Shack tonight around midnight. Meet me there to retrieve your map. By the way, the fairies and veela of northern France are quite the flirts. I had quite the vacation._

_See you soon,_

_Your favorite Frenchman, Benedict Auclair_

Lily smiled at the jesting nature of his letter. She traced his elegant looping cursive letters. Lily took the letter and jammed it back into the envelope. She knew that she owed Jason too many favors and wouldn't ask for his help. She knew how to get to Hogsmeade now and would do so alone.

Lily looked out the window glancing at the full moon. She could feel her magic tingling inside of her. During nights when the moon was more and more visible her magic became powerful. Lily ignored its plea for release and lifted her cloak over her head. She was on patrol, but Jason had yet to show up. This benefitted her; she didn't need Jason meddling in her affairs.

Lily quietly crossed the staircase of the second floor. She waved to a Ravenclaw prefect across the staircase. Lily had managed to gain a relationship of mutual light friendship with the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. Well excluding the Marauders fangirls, which was almost all the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff girls above third year. The Prefect stared at Lily in disdain before arrogantly walking past Lily.

Due to her extreme abhorrence towards the Marauders and her strange relationship with Jason, most girls preferred to ignore Lily. It suited her just fine. Lily didn't want to play bitch with the catty girls of Hogwarts. She had learned a long time ago that girls were dangerous cruel creatures.

Marlene, Emmeline, and Alice seemed to be an exception to this. Alice was too motherly to care for teenage drama. Emmeline didn't care for those kinds of girls to start. And Marlene was filled with the darkness of the war, something that prissy girls did their best to avoid.

Lily crossed the corridor and reached the statue of the one-eyed hump-backed witch. She pulled her wand from her robe pocket and looked around the hall. Lily couldn't hear any footsteps or voices.

" Dissendium," she whispered pointing her wand at the statue. Lily watched as the hump opened up. She took one last glance at the hallway before leaping down the hole. Lily felt her heart pound as she hit the slid roughly. When she landed on the mat placed at the bottom of the trap, she saw the light from the hole above her close off.

" Lumos," Lily whispered. A bright silver light lit up the dark passage. Lily felt the muffled steps of her shoes against the cold stone of the tunnel. She eventually reached the end of the tunnel and gingerly opened the creaking door to the basement of Honeydukes. Lily slid inside and shut the door behind her. She crept up the staircase and cursed under her breath when one of the stairs creaked.

Lily closed her eyes and paused. She didn't hear anyone coming and cautiously continued her lithe ascent up the stairs. Lily sighed with relief when she reached the top. She crossed the threshold of the shop and quietly slid out the door, leaving a stone next to the door to keep it open.

Lily pulled the black hood of her cloak over her head and began to walk through the streets of the village. The snow was beginning to melt and the cold gusts of wind were starting to relent. Lily brushed by huddled groups of wizards and witches walking past the familiar stores of Hogsmeade.

She could see the ghostly form of the Shrieking Shack from where she stood. It seemed to move with the wind. Lily was sure she heard a howl come from the building and shivered.

When she heard about the shrieking shack she was nine. Her mother snuck her out of Manchester for a day outside. No one knew who she was, but assumed that she was the daughter of Delphina Gastor. The two did look-alike, with their creamy skin and red hair.

Lily grimaced remembering how Pericles wrote to her after her fall one last time telling her that her parents had used confundus charms on the few people who knew her.

Her mom took her to Honeydukes and Gladrags to buys a new pair of dress robes. It had been an important day for Lily since most of her brothers were off at school and Jason preferred to spend his time with some pureblood friends of his.

Since Lily was a girl, she had never met any pureblood girls, other than Selena Kingsmill before she turned eleven. Pureblood girls were forced to wait until their entrance to society ball to meet and mingle with other pureblood girls.

Lily brushed these thoughts aside and stared at the sloping building. She could remember her mum taking her a few yards from it and telling her about it.

" That building over there, my little flower never go inside it. The ghosts will find you. It reeks of haunted spirits," her mother murmured in Lily's hair. Lily remembered her nod of agreement and grabbing her mum's hand with fear. She remembered the flash of her mum's warm smile of reassurance.

Those memories were untouched. They were ones from the days before her mother sneered at her and her father couldn't even look at her. They were memories that acted like salt on the wounds of the painful memories.

Lily shook her thoughts away and pulled her cloak closer to herself. She saw the moon high in the sky and swiftly began to walk over to the shack. Shivers crawled up her neck as she approached the building. She heard a barking sound come from it and jumped back.

" I never took you so be afraid of mere stories," a voice acknowledged. Lily turned and saw Benjy Auclair leaning against a tree nearby.

" Do you have the map," she icily questioned. Benjy smirked and walked over to her. His figure looked deceitful in the glow of the moon. He stood a foot from Lily and crossed his arms.

" This is the last favor I owe you. Now we're even," he said pulling something from his pocket. He handed it to Lily.

" I know," Lily confessed. She took the box in her hand and opened it. A large glamour of a tree sprung out. It was almost as big as Lily. She smiled remembering the long hours she spent charming the box into this amazing creation. Branches curled from the tree, revealing names of families and people. She could see crests carved into branches and leaves of names blooming from them.

Lily made a move to close the box but Benjy grabbed her wrist. She looked at him startled and held the map in her other hand.

" What are you doing Benjy," she demanded. Lily squirmed and he smothered her to his chest with one hand.

" I can't let you close that box. I've come so close to getting it. I'm not going to stop until you tell me the password," he demanded. Lily looked at him is astonishment. His sleeve had lifted and Lily glanced at his arm. Waves of pain crashed on her.

" You didn't. No! Benjy why did you do it, why did you become a bloody death eater," Lily croaked. He smiled evilly and left his sleeve revealing a tattoo of a twisting snake.

" Lily sweet innocent Lily, I did it for you," he murmured in her hair. Lily stood paralyzed in his embrace.

" What do you mean," she questioned cautiously. He glanced at her eyes and saw the horror in them.

" It's about you betrothal. Your parents were allowed to tell five people who he was before your induction to society, and so did his parents. Those people were my parents, Dumbledore, the Dark lord, and accidently me. I was in the room when they told my parents. There's a spell that keeps me from telling you whom it is, but he doesn't deserve you. Lily I love you. We could be so pure. Imagine a world without any muggle filth, where the dark lord rules. You would be mine," Benjy said.

Revulsion erupted in Lily's stomach. She stared at Benjy disgusted. He never displayed any signs of hating muggles or being a blood supremist. Lily inched her hand towards her pocket.

" No we can't have any of that," Benjy sneered. He grabbed her wand and chucked it behind him. He trapped her against him.

" Benjy you can't do this, the spell," Lily pleaded. Benjy's eyes flashed wickedly.

" You said that I was free once I have you the box, you never said anything about letting you keep it," he boasted. Oh could she be so stupid, Lily thought.

" Now you can tell me the password to opening the box, the easy or hard way," Benjy grunted. He pulled a vial from his pocket. It was clear as pure drinking water.

" Veritaserum," Lily gasped. He smiled and nodded. Lily gulped; she had to do everything in her power to protect that box.

" Benjy what will you do with the box," Lily questioned.

" I'm on a mission for the dark lord. He will reward me greatly for this box," he confessed.

" Benjy think about your mother what would she think," Lily begged. His eyes flashed dangerously.

" I am thinking of my mother Lily! Do you even know what happened to her? No you don't, my ignorant dad told me only a year ago. She was raped and then killed by disgusting low-life muggles. Why do you think that she had a closed-casket funeral? Dad didn't want people seeing her cut up and bruised," Benjy screamed. Lily's heart faltered. Mrs. Auclair didn't deserve that; she was so kind and pure.

Lily flinched when Benjy began to slide his hands over her hips. His eyes flashed with sympathy.

" Lily give up this stupid idea of yours. Come back to France we can be together," Benjy begged. Lily stared at him defiantly. She couldn't leave her home. Hogwarts was her home. Hogwarts with its prejudice people and heart wrenching experiences was her home. Hogwarts with its kindred souls like Marlene and Michael. Hogwarts with its evils like James Potter and Sirius Black. She needed to stay and fight for her home.

Lily let her eyes soften and leaned against Benjy's shoulder relaxed. She could feel the surprise in his heart. She brushed her lips by his chest and tried not to cringe with repugnance. She didn't need to look up to see Benjy's cocky smirk. Lily looked up and pouted at Benjy.

" Kiss me first," she begged. Lily almost threw up with her damsel-in-distress behavior. But it worked Benjy relaxed his grip on her arms and fully removed his hands. They snuck up Lily's body and caressed her face. It felt so wrong. Lily almost fainted from her disgust. Bile crawled up her throat. She tightly held the box and slowly shut its lid, while Benjy inched closer and closer to her mouth.

" I knew you would see it my way," he purred. Lily nodded and tapped her bracelet. She watched the box shrink and go into one of the charms hanging from the bracelet.

Benjy fully relaxed against her giving Lily the opportunity she was looking for. She moved her hand near his pocket and reached in, pulling his wand out. He didn't notice and Lily could feel his hot breath on her face.

" Benjy," she murmured. He looked at her, and she was almost thrown back by the openness of his eyes.

" Yes Lily?" he questioned. Lily grabbed his wand.

" Stupefy," she shouted. He looked at her in shock and fell back, paralyzed, to the ground. Lily stared at him in disgust and heard another howl. She ignored it and felt rage curl around her. Her magic was sparking and demanded to be released.

" Accio wand and veritaserum," Lily shouted. Her wand and the vial jumped into her open hand. Benjy lay frozen on the ground forced to watch her. She threw his wand near him and tapped her bracelet. The vial of veristaserum flew into it.

Lily felt her eyes fill with fiery rage. She heard a howl again, and it was closer. Her magic was exploding inside of her and she almost crippled and let it control her. But she didn't.

" Reenervate," she muttered. Benjy's limbs relaxed when granted freedom from her stunning spell. He grabbed his wand and stared at Lily in shock.

" Get up," Lily coldly shouted. She watched him rise and bid him a disgust good-bye nod.

" Not so fast Lily," he roared. Lily felt a nonverbal spell soar towards her and turned. Her magic screamed inside her like a beast. She moved her wand deftly and cast a nonverbal shield spell.

"That was not a smart move Auclair," Lily sneered. She turned and face Benjy who was crouched into a defensive pose.

" I was trying to do you a bloody favor for sixteen years of friendship. But I guess that was a lie. Don't think I won't hesitate to tell both the British and French Ministry that you are nothing more than a disgusting death eater! What would your dad think," Lily spat out.

" I don't need favors from you! Give me that box I don't even need to password anymore just hand it over before I curse you," He screamed. Lily looked at him in disgust. She could feel her heart starting to tear, but refused to let it, yet.

" Benjy your dad didn't' join the bloody death eaters when his wife, the love of his bloody life died! Your actions are inexcusable I can't forgive you," Lily shouted.

" My dad is weak and I hate him! Don't you see it Lily he's dying, he's been dying for years! You shouldn't have left; the healers don't think he's got more than a week left! I took a peak at the bastard's will, do you know who he wrote everything to. Not his sole and worthy heir, no to the disgrace to the Gastor family," Benjy revealed viciously.

Lily's heart wrenched at the thought of Uncle Darcy dying. She needed him too much. How could she be so greedy not to see his slow motions and pain lancing through his body?

" What do you mean," Lily croaked. She trembled holding her wand. Benjy's eyes flashed with bitter amusement.

" Sometimes you are so daft Lily! My dad left everything to you in the will, he completely forgot about me! You are the biggest shame to purebloods in existence, your actions five years ago and now prove that. How could I even consider kissing your lips! They are covered in muggle slobber," Benjy, cackled. Lily paled and loved her wand.

" I didn't ask for your inheritance, I'll give it to you if I get it," Lily vowed.

" I don't need it anymore! After letting death eaters into Beauxabatons and killing some of those disgusting muggleborns they let in, the dark lord rewarded me," Benjy proclaimed.

" How could you? We've known those kids for years and you willingly killed innocent children," Lily beseeched. She felt tears burst from her eyes for the first time in five years.

" It was so easy. I didn't even have to use the killing curse on some, I just lit those filthy mudbloods on fire and watched them burn," Benjy laughed. Lily felt bile explode from her. She knew that after this she was going to throw up.

" Slugus Erecto," Lily screamed. A putrid foggy green spell lashed from her wand and towards Benjy. He laughed and brushed it away with a shield charm.

" You can do so much more Lily. Join me I'll take you to the Dark Lord join him. I'll even forget about your traitorous ways in exchange for you becoming mine," Benjy offered cruelly. Lily's rage spurred her magic on in lashes of power. She struggled to control it. Lily remembered the words of her teacher in Greece. _You can't let your magic consume you; you must learn to control it. Otherwise you'll burn with it and burn the world._ She quelled it down and had a spell ready on the tip of her tongue.

" Imperio," Benjy shouted. Lily gasped and watched the spell twist towards her. She racked her head for spells.

" Protego Horribilis," Lilt shouted. A giant white shield emerged from her wand and disintegrated the dark spell.

" Benjy that's an unforgivable," Lily cried. He smiled wickedly at her.

" I know," he said mercilessly. A nonverbal spell shot at Lily. She quickly fired a spell at it and they burst into sparks. Lily shot spell after spell at Benjy. Her spell were light ones that would turn him into a rabbit or making him feel as though he was being tickled. His were so dark. Lily saw the familiar flash of the spell Sirius Black had used on her weeks ago.

Their duel had caught the attention of Hogsmeade residents. Lily heard one shout to get Dumbledore. She sighed with relief and shot a jinx at Benjy. He ducked and it hit a tree. The tree broke into pieces and exploded around them. Lily felt a twisted piece of bark embed itself in her arm. She groaned and yanked it out.

" Getting pretty violent Lils. You can't even control your magic," Benjy jeered.

"Larcarum Inflamarae," Lily screamed. A ball of fire catapulted from her wand and hit Benjy in the chest. He yelled with pain. Guilt swelled in Lily's heart but her magic stifled it.

She waited for Benjy to rise but he didn't. Lily saw Dumbledore marching through the crowd towards her. Relief shot through her.

" Not so fast! Incendio," Benjy shouted from the ground. Lilly ducked and watched as a circle of flames surrounded them. Benjy stood gingerly, and Lily could see the burns on his chest and neck.

" Give me the box," he shouted. Lily watched as a green light catapulted at her. She ducked and it hit a tree. The tree wilted and died. He shot the killing curse at her. Lily couldn't control it. Feelings and emotions choked their way from her gut. Her magic laced with them and swelled. Lily knew that she was about to lose control, that she was letting her magic do the fighting.

Benjy realized what he did and paled. " Lily don't do this," he warned. He took steps back but Lily didn't notice. She was fighting a war inside of her mind. She could feel Dumbledore and the mob of villagers watching her.

Right before her magic got control Lily gained it. " Partis Temporis," she shouted. The ring of fire opened for a second and Lily ran through the gap. She ran into the crowd and stood in front of Dumbledore.

" Professor that's a death eater. He killed children at Beauxabatons last month," Lily gasped.

" I see. Aquus Erecto," he shouted. A burst of water hit the flames, stifling them. Lily watched Benjy walked towards her, but stop. He looked at Dumbledore and paled.

" One day Lily you will pay, and then you will be mine," he snarled. Lily watched as he transformed into a murky black fog and shot into the sky.

" Dark apparition," Dumbledore mused next to her. Lily nodded. She could feel the duel wearing down on her. Fatigue suddenly hit her. Lily swayed and looked towards the woods near the shrieking shack. She saw a stag emerge from the woods followed by a dog.

Before she sunk into the waves of sleep, Lily saw the hazel orbs of James Potter flash towards her. They were laced with pain.

Lily didn't wake naturally. She knew the minute her eyes popped unwillingly open that someone had used a reenverate spell. Lily groaned and looked around. She was sitting in a chair in Dumbledore's office. The blue eyes of Professor Dumbledore bore into her green ones.

" I'm sorry Miss Evans but we have pressing matters to attend to. I woke you a few hours after Poppy healed you," Dumbledore admitted. Lily nodded and looked at her arm. A thick bandaged wrapped around it.

" Your exploding jinx is quite powerful. It managed to embed the bark of the sole elder tree left in Scotland into your arm. Madame Pomfrey was forced to slice your arm open to get it out," Dumbledore stated. Lily blushed, elder tree were extremely rare and only four, well now three, were known to still exist in England.

" Don't fret Miss Evans, we managed to retrieve a seed from that tree," Dumbledore chuckled. Lily smiled and relaxed in her seat.

" Miss Evans if you could explain what happened today morning," Dumbledore questioned. Lily sighed, her lies were catching up with her and she needed to be careful. Lily wondered if she could trust Dumbledore to respect her decision and lies.

" Professor I'm not really Miss Evans, I doubt there is a Lily Evans out there," Lily muttered. She started her tale with her true identity. Lily told Dumbledore everything about her. She told him about her ten years in England and the next five in Greece and France. She told him about her parents and how quickly they went from good to evil. She told him about her return and she even told him about her brothers being death eaters. She guilty told him about the map and its purpose. She finished with the duel. The truth poured out of her like a faucet that she couldn't stop. Her voice became hoarse from speaking so much. She did manage to not say the reason for her fall and banishment though.

When Lily was done, Dumbledore stared at her for a while. She wondered if he was going to expel her now. She waited for him to speak. But he didn't instead he smiled and began to clap. Lily stared at him in confusion.

" Lily, your bravery and courage for what you did is worthy of Godric Gryffindor's approval," he said.

" But I lied about who I am and I can barely control my magic," Lily stuttered.

" Miss Evans you left everything you knew behind for something bigger than yourself. You are willing to die for the good of people you don't even know. That is true bravery. Your lies only emphasize this. I do have one question about your magic. You said something about the full moon," he mused.

" Thank you Professor Dumbledore. It's nothing to do with being a werewolf or anything. My mum's family had some ancient magic that passes on through the generations; but only through the female line. During the day we've got less magic. At night, magic is attracted to us, so we have more. There's also my ability to open flowers, but that's nothing more than my childhood way of showing magic," Lily clarified.

" Interesting, I will have to look into the Lilius family in my spare time. Now about that box, what plans do you have for it? I will have to warn Bishop to used soundproofing spells when he's meeting with the order," Dumbledore contemplated.

" I told you that Voldemort wanted it. I think the best thing to do is to destroy it," Lily answered honestly.

" Lily knowledge is power, even when it can help evil. You said something about a password," Dumbledore pondered.

" I just don't want it falling into the wrong hands. Its not really a password, I don't know where Benjy got the idea. When I made the family tree for the French Ministry, they decided the best way to keep it safe was for me to protect it. They were thinking along the lines of why would a teenage girl hold the power of the box. I can open it and there's a spell it's similar to the fidelius charm. If I let people open it, it will open," Lily responded.

Dumbledore nodded and stood. He walked over to the window. Lily was surprised to see the early morning light shining through the windowpanes.

" Lily if you trust me may I keep it, for educational purposes. Maybe sometime when people aren't so bigoted it will be able to help society," Dumbledore asked.

Lily thought this over. After having so many people break her trust she was wary about it. But he was Dumbledore one of the most selfless wizards in existence. She had her answer immediately after that.

" Of course Professor," she answered. Lily tapped her bracelet with her wand and pulled the box out. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at the sight.

" I once had an object in my possession similar to that bracelet you are wearing. Would you mind yelling me where you got it," Dumbledore questioned. Lily placed the box on his desk and tapped it with her wand muttering a spell.

" You can open the box now. The bracelet is a family heirloom from my dad's side," Lily said. She looked at the bracelet. It was a gold and sliver threaded chain that had been on Lily's right wrist since the day she was born. As she grew, charms on the bracelet mad it grow. Her father told her that only that day she died the bracelet would fall off. It had been passed down from father to child in the Gastor line. Unlike other heirlooms, it didn't automatically go to the eldest. It went to whom the family leader thought it should go to. William Gastor had taken one look at Lily's emerald eyes and cuffed the bracelet around her wrist minutes after she was born.

The bracelet had seven charms hanging from it. Two diamond charms stood on either ends on it. They had a golden G carved in them. Starting from the left was a single star made from the horn of a unicorn and covered with a layer of clear gold. Next was a flower that Lily had never been able to identify. Its gems were unknown to her, but they were all the colors of the rainbow. Next was a single sapphire teardrop, Lily once looked at it with an enlarging charm and saw ancient symbols on it. They made Lily feel pain and sorrow at just looking at them. The next was a sword. It was small enough to not injure or cut Lily. Its hilt was a gleaming gold and the sharp blade was a glistening ruby. Lastly was a mystery to Lily and her family. It was a broken piece of a heart; a stone that emitted a soft glow with no color that had been sliced down the middle.

" May I look at it," Dumbledore queried breaking Lily's train of thought. She nodded and extended her wrist to him. He looked at each charm for a moment before indicating for Lily to retract her arm.

" This sword on your bracelet is something I once spoke of with your father. Back when he was a student here," Dumbledore proclaimed.

" Why? It's just a sword of one of our ancestors," Lily scoffed. Dumbledore smiled

" Yes that's what I told your father. He was unwilling to accept that the Gastor family descended from Godric Gryffindor," Dumbledore chuckled.

" But how. Every Gastor's been in Slytherin," Lily asked skeptically.

" Being in Slytherin doesn't mean that they are not brave. Gastors are people who have ambition and drive before their courage. They demand something from the world and expect it to be brought, it's a different type of bravery," Dumbledore revealed. Lily smiled at the idea of her family being brave, they are brave but in a different way. But then she remembered that she revealed that her brothers were death eaters.

" Professor what will happen to my brothers," Lily questioned quietly.

" I cannot do anything to them or other death eaters. Their kind has crept into the School Board and moniters who can get expelled from Hogwarts," Dumbledore said. Lily knew it was wrong, but she felt a flutter of relief. Her brothers would not be sent to Azkaban, not today.

" Professor Dumbledore I was wondering when I should leave," Lily mumbled. She looked down and felt the blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore pierce her.

" Why would you need to leave," Dumbledore asked lightly. Lily gaped at him.

" Aren't I expelled, I mean I lied about who I was and brought a death eater on the grounds," Lily stuttered.

" Why would you be expelled? Miss Evans lies are the balance of good and evil, it's knowing when the truth must be revealed matters. Now the death eater situation, well I think you handled it rather splendidly," Dumbledore announced with an intelligent smile.

" But how would that work. People would know that I was Lily Evans id I came here as my real self," Lily sputtered.

" Lily you are not Lily Gastor. No you are Lily Evans a brave girl who wants to fight. I don't see a girl named Lily Gastor in this office, I only see a headstrong girl with so much potential named Lily Evans," Dumbledore proclaimed.

Lily's heart swelled with joy. Even when he knew her secrets and her real identity he accepted her.

" Miss Evans breakfast begins soon and I think your friends would miss your presence," Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eyes. Lily nodded and stood.

" Thank you Professor," Lily stated confidently. Dumbledore nodded and watched her walk to the staircase.

" I have one last question Professor. What is the Order?" Lily questioned lightly. Dumbledore smiled. She was a smart girl; of course she would notice his slip of the tongue.

"That's something for another day Miss Evans," he said with a twinkling smile. Lily nodded and left his office with a clear conscience for the first time in years.

* * *

**A reviewer asked about Lily looking like her friend. She used polyjuice potion for the funeral so Purebloods wouldn't recognize her at Hogwarts. Also she never met the entire pureblood society since she never had her entrance into society ball. The ones she met, her parents confunded them to forget Lily. **

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin Blake**


	4. Landings

**Chapter 4 Landings**

**( I can't get no) Satisfaction**

* * *

Lily glared at Potter's head. He was sitting across the room arrogantly scrubbing the floor. He removed his shirt and Lily could see the muscles of his back flexing with each movement he made. But she didn't care. Lily was too mad to ogle Potter, and besides Potter was too much of a twat to be ogled. Lily was across the room scrubbing the floor with anger. She really did hate him. If Potter weren't such an arrogant prick, then Lily would have been enjoying the first day of spring differently.

She could have been outside with Marlene and the other Gryffindors. She could have been playing a game of pick up Quidditch with some younger students. She could have been studying for the OWLS. But Lily wasn't doing any of those things.

Instead, she was stuck inside a dingy, dusty dungeon room with James Potter. Her detention was from directly after lunch to dinner. Lily's nostrils flared with rage. She had never received a detention in all five of her years at magical schools. But within three months of arriving at Hogwarts she had her first one. And it was all James Bloody Potter's fault.

Lily glared at her sponge as she scrubbed. Bubbles surged around her. Lily had taken off her robe and pulled her sleeves up half an hour ago. But the bubbles and water had sunken through her white shirt.

" Alright Evans? What has that sponge done to you?" a cheeky voice drawled from behind her. Lily refused to answer him. She refused to turn.

" I asked you a question Evans," Potter's voice murmured from behind her. Lily gasped when she felt Potter's hot breath against her cheek; that disgusting bastard. She raised her hand and slapped him straight across the face before he could do anything.

" Fuck! Evans learn some control, I know its hard for you since you were raised with dirty muggles," Potter whined. Lily smirked and looked at him. Her hand had left a bright red imprint on his cheek. But Potter did not back down from a fight.

Lily scoffed and turned from him. She continued her scrubbing. Lily could feel Potter staring at her. She smirked and continued her work. That was before Potter reached for her waist and slung her over his shoulder.

" Dammit Potter," Lily growled. She could feel Potter walking and only see the floor. Lily squirmed against his shoulder but he only laughed. Why did Filch have to take their wands? If Lily had her wand then she could have had Potter on the floor stunned within seconds.

Lily felt Potter grab her waist and felt him lift her up. He swung her and placed her on a desk. He maneuvered them so that he was standing in between her legs. Potter held her hands in one of his and smirked down at her.

Lily knew that her face was red, but not with embarrassment, but with rage. Damn Potter was so tall that Lily had to look up to glare at him.

" Potter could you get your hands off me?" Lily questioned with a murderous tone. Potter only scoffed.

" Well if you hadn't been such an uptight bitch then we wouldn't be here. So I don't know if I can move them."

"The minute we get out of here I'm going to hex you so badly that you won't be able to stand," Lily growled with rage.

" You do that Evans. Then we'll have another detention, and you'll get the joy of my company," Potter jeered. Lily knew he was right and reluctantly slumped against him. Her hair had fallen out of it light braid and hung around her in loose curls.

" Good. Now I have a few questions for you," Potter demanded with a crooked smile. Lily gulped and tensed. What had she even done to deserve this? Lily remembered the past month and almost flinched from everything she had gone through.

_Flashback_

Lily marveled at the storm outside the window. Snow cascaded to the ground, but every few seconds stopped. Lily compared it to a battle between winter and spring. They were fighting an eternal war that would never end. Even though winter knew that spring would win, it continued to fight.

She could see snowflakes twirling with the cold late winter breeze. She watched them fall down to the grounds below her. Beauxabatons was an elegant school, but Hogwarts was amazing.

Only one word seemed to describe the castle; Picturesque. It took three months for Lily to fall in love with the sloping hills and tall evergreen trees. She loved the drafts in the castle and the annoyingly loud portraits. Lily loved the charmed ceiling of the Great Hall and the musty Potions classroom.

" Miss Evans if you would care to join class," Professor McGonagall said with a smile. Lily blushed and heard laughter erupt from the other side of the room, otherwise known as the Slytherin side.

Her Transfiguration class was small, but all of her classes were. There were four Gryffindors seated in the front of the class. Lily cursed herself for taking the seat closest to the window. But Marlene refused to sit on the edge of the table.

Lily could see a group of five Hufflepuffs. It wasn't really a group though. The two Hufflepuff boys shared a table and were playing a game of exploding snaps under the table. The three Hufflepuff girls situated themselves in the desks closest to the Marauders. They were turned from the board and twirled strands of hair around their fingers as they giggled and took longing glances at the four boys.

The Ravenclaws were closer to the Marauders. They sat across the room in a cluster of four. Lily noticed that they sat together, but occasionally the girls winked at Black or Potter. Benjy had told Lily that the Ravenclaws used to be the largest house at Hogwarts. But during the past two years their numbers had severely dropped.

She heard about the murder of half blood family over break; the Pontmores. The family was once a pureblood family, but didn't care much for purity. The dad married a muggleborn and they had three children, Natalie, George and Penny. The eldest was a recent graduate who decided to marry a muggle. Marlene had informed Lily that death eaters had crashed the small, informal wedding and slaughtered the bride and groom's family.

Lily felt nothing but sympathy for the small group of Ravenclaws across the room. She glanced at the Slytherins. They were made of the entire Slytherin fifth year group.

There were four girls and four boys. The girls were smug purebloods who had laughed when Lily was taunted or hexed. The boys were the taunters, otherwise known as the Marauders.

" Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall questioned again.

" Sorry Professor," Lily mumbled with a sheepish smile. Professor McGonagall nodded and turned back to the lesson. Lily had ease with most of her subjects, but she really excelled at DADA, Charms, and Potions from her interest in these subjects. Transfiguration came with reluctant ease to her. She could perform the entire tedious lesson they did but she didn't enjoy them.

Lily was feeling down. Ever since the duel in Hogsmeade and Benjy's revelation Lily hadn't felt the same. It happened only a few days ago, but Lily could still feel the burn of Benjy's betrayal. Benjy Auclair had been her savior, her angel. He was there to hold her when she cried after being sent to France. He was there when she decided that tears wouldn't do anything, and wore a proud smile. He knew her inside and out, he was supposed to be her best friend.

Her relationship with Benjy made her feel like she was broken pieces of a soul. He wasn't her missing piece; no he was the glue that held her together while she waited for her other half. James Potter's hazel eyes no longer haunted Lily's dreams; no they were filled with the azure orbs of Benjy Auclair.

Thinking of Potter made Lily's eyes travel across the room. He sat surrounded by the Marauders, with a horde of fangirls nearby. Ever since the death of Dorea Potter, James had become louder and more boisterous. His mother's death had done nothing to improve his maturity; no it only made him more immature. She flinched as she saw James lean over and aggressively snog one of his fangirls.

She was a standard James Potter fan; straight blonde hair, tall, huge chest and pouty eyes. Lily felt disgusted watching him. He suddenly smirked and looked up at Lily. A blush crawled across her throat, to Lily's utmost mortification.

Potter smirked and grabbed a different fangirl. His eyes twinkled and he snogged her. But his eyes never left Lily's face. Lily ducked down to her blank piece of notes and felt the curious stares of the other 5th year Gryffindors.

Guilt snuck into her mind. Lily hated that she had to lie to these people. She only knew them for three months, but they made her have hope. All of them had their fair share of tragedy and grief. If any people knew what she was going through it would be them.

Lily heard the bell ring and quickly shoved everything into her bag. But Professor McGonagall didn't let them out.

" Students! Students please sit. Yes that includes you Mr. Wood, I'm sure that there will still be some food left at the table if you arrive a few minutes late," Professor McGonagall scolded. Lily heard giggles erupt from a few hufflepuff girls. She snuck a look at Michael and saw that the tips of his ears had turned red. He sat down and through Lily a grin.

" Now as all of you know OWLS are approaching. Which OWLS you pass or fail will determine your career options. Heads of Houses are holding career counseling for all 5th years. They are mandatory, and you will be pulled out of a class to attend yours. Schedules for these sessions are posted in your common rooms. Now you may leave Mr. Wood," Professor McGonagall announced. Lily watched Michael send Professor McGonagall a mischievous beam. She walked with Marlene to Michael and Benjy, and together they set off to the Great Hall.

" I dunno what I want to do. Adam told me he's interested in international affairs. But he has to take NEWT History of Magic for that. I couldn't stand another year of that," Marlene announced. Lily nodded and they entered the Great Hall. She saw Alice and Gideon wave them over and the 5th years walked over to the 6th years. Lily slid in a seat between Gideon and Frank.

She grabbed a sandwich and started eating. Michael informed the 6th years about Professor McGonagall's speech.

" Ugh I remember OWLS. Horrible time in my life, I got maybe two hours of sleep every night and had names of Germanic trolls stuck in my head all summer," Fabian moaned.

" Don't listen to Fabian! OWLS are important. For instance, I would have bombed my Charms OWL if I didn't know that you needed to pass it in order to be an auror," Alice said. Lily perked up at this comment.

" Don't listen to Alice, or Frank- those gits want to be bloody aurors. They're going to get themselves killed. You guys should do something practical like I am. I've got an internship with the Prophet this summer. By the end of seventh year I'll be working there," Emmeline announced.

" Emmy, just cause you failed your Potions OWL doesn't mean you can bring us down. Fabian and I are planning on going into Quidditch. It seems sort of vain but its what we're good at. Hey Frank you and Alice should change your names when you get married, how bout a combo name like Longwit its better than Longbottom," Gideon proclaimed. Lily watched as Frank leaned over her and smacked Gideon.

" Gid shut up, if any of us are going to get married straight out of school it'll be one of those bloody purebloods. I heard that the arranged marriage situation is more popular for the seventh years than it was before. I guess they're trying to get quick alliances," Alice announced.

Lily almost choked at this comment. She remembered Benjy Auclair's twisted speech about her betrothal. She started coughing. Gideon pounded on her back and she took a sip of water.

" Are you ok Lils? Do you need to go to the hospital wing," Marlene questioned. Lily nodded and finished her water.

" Fine my sandwich was spicy its nothing," Lily mumbled. The Gryffindors accepted her answer and continued their conversation.

" I'm going into the St. Mungos. I'm not nauseas at the sight of blood so that's a good start," Benjy announced. Lily nodded at this.

" If this war wasn't here I would play for Puddlemere, like Waterford is. But I'm a decent dueler and I want to make a difference so I'm planning on sending an application to the auror department," Michael announced. Lily felt like he was sacrificing his life to fight a war that shouldn't be happening.

" What about you Marlene," Emmeline question suddenly. Marlene looked up with a stubborn gaze.

" Its up to Black. My parents are pushing for our marriage and he's all for it. It's those damn pureblood traditions! If he doesn't me work and want me to be a housewife then I'm trapped. But if I'm lucky I'll be wearing the Black family ring in two years and working in St. Mungos," Marlene muttered. Lily felt anger course through her. She glanced at Adam and helplessness was present in his blue eyes.

He couldn't do anything to help his sister. She was trapped with a man who was cruel and evil. Lily felt so horrible for him. She watched Emmeline grab his hand, and Adam smiled. At least they'll have each other, Lily thought.

" What about you Lils? Are you going to put those potions skills to use? Or play Quidditch," Fabian questioned with a quirked smile. Lily knew what she wanted to do. Even if the war wasn't here and if she lived in a different world she would do the same thing over and over.

" No Fabian, not in this lifetime or any others. I know what I'm going to do not because of the war. The war only makes me want to do this more. I'm going to be an auror in two years. I'm going to battle Voldemort and make a difference," Lily vowed. She could see admiration break through the eyes of her fellow Gryffindors. She even saw Frank nod with reluctant respect.

" Well cheers Lily and cheers to all of our futures," Adam announced. Lily smiled and watched the people around her.

They were doing what they knew was right. Maybe in a different lifetime Gideon and Fabian wouldn't feel guilty about playing Quidditch. Maybe Alice and Frank wouldn't have to sleep at night wondering if one of them was dead. Maybe Adam wouldn't need Emmeline to hold him up and give him her strength.

Maybe Benjy could treat a kid's broken arm from a broom accident instead of patching up civilians. Maybe Michael could do what his heart wanted instead of what he felt was right. Maybe Marlene wouldn't have to worry about Sirius Black ruling her life, and she could have freedom. Maybe Lily would have never have had to leave England.

But that wasn't the case. They lived in a war, a war that was slowly becoming their lives.

" That was a lousy game. Ravenclaw didn't deserve those shoves and kicks. I'm glad Slytherin is out of the cup. We play hufflepuff in April and then the winner is going to play Ravenclaw for the house cup in May," Michael announced. Lily smirked at his tone. He was so passionate about making sure that he lived up to Oliver Waterford's legacy.

Lily had never met Oliver Waterford, but she had heard a lot about him from the other Gryffindors. He was something of an idol to them. He was kind to younger students and a role model for older ones. Lily could see why Michael was so worried about not living up to his memory.

The other Gryffindors didn't see it that way. They shot Michael stares and continued to leave the common room. Lily smiled and walked over to him. It was the first Monday of March and most of the Gryffindors were taking it out on Michael's cheerful nature.

" I agree. I heard that Patrick Vance is still in the hospital wing," Lily agreed. Lily remembered the brutal game last Saturday. Like Lucian had promised, the game had been filled with dirty tricks and demeaning plays. She could still remember the scream of Angela Young as a burly chaser had accidently shoved her off her broom.

" I heard Evans. Its tragic, they loose all of their good players and replace them with shite ones," Michael said. Lily nodded and followed him out of the common room. She could see younger students finishing last minutes homework assignments and clearing up games of wizarding chess.

They had Care of Magical Creatures in four minutes. Michael volunteered to wait for Lily in the Common Room during the last few minutes of lunch so she could get her textbook.

Back in her dorm, Lily noticed a letter by her desk addressed to her and grabbed it. Hestia must have left it there accidently, she thought. Lily held in in her hands as she and Michael walked to Care of Magical Creatures.

She waved to other students as they walked. It was nice to see people smile instead of flinch when they saw her. Being a Gastor had a large legacy to it.

Lily twirled the letter in her hands. She listen to Michael ramble on about plays they could use during the upcoming game. But her curiously was getting the better of her. Lily took a glance at Michael who was staring in front of them and using his hands to explain a play he had seen at a game last summer.

She lifted the envelope up and opened it. The paper was stiff and smelled like antiseptics. Lily lifted the paper up and stopped walking. She could see one word on the paper that made her stop.

' Michael go on to Care of Magical Creatures. I'm such a ditz. I took the wrong book," Lily pathetically muttered. Michael glanced at her in concern.

" It's okay, I'll wait for you. I don't mind being late," Michael argued, Lily gritted her teeth. Why did Michael have to be so stubborn?

" No Michael you should go to class I'll catch up," Lily answered. Before Michael could answer Lily took off in a brisk walk.

Lily could feel people staring at her as she sprinted through the castle. She stopped in an empty corridor and leaned against the wall. Lily slung her bag on the floor and raised the letter to her face. Her fingers trembled as she read.

_Lily Marie Gastor,_

_Yesterday Darcy Auclair was emitted to St. Joan's Hospital for Magical Maladies in Paris. He has requested for you to visit him. His son Benedict Darcy Auclair is not responding to any of our letters. If you decide to come, an auror will escort you from the international flew station to the hospital due to recent safety insecurities. We are sorry that such a great man and head of the department of Magical Law Enforcement will soon die._

_Sincerely,_

_St. Joan's Hospital for Magical Maladies_

Lily tasted a metallic substance in her mouth. Her hands trembled. Uncle Darcy couldn't die. He couldn't. Lily felt horrible for not mailing him since she first arrived in England. Guilt engulfed her.

Tears didn't fall. Sorrow and fear didn't come. Her head was spinning as she stood up. Waves of dizziness crashed on her, but she didn't stand down. She felt so numb. Lily hadn't cried more than once in that last four years. She refused to cry again.

Lily quickly grabbed her bag and went to Care of Magical Creatures. She didn't know the new password to Professor Dumbledore's office and was sure that Professor Grubbly-Plank would.

Her heart pounded with sadness and worry. She should've written to Darcy. She had three months, and now she didn't know how long she had.

Lily broke into a sprint and reached the outdoor classroom. Snow was sprinkled on the floor but the seats were dry. She was at least twenty minutes late. Lily knew that she looked horrible but ignored the stares of her classmates. She walked over to Professor Grubbly-Plank and she looked up.

" Miss Evans you are 24 minutes to class. This merits a detention," the teacher scolded. But Lily didn't care. She could see the rich eyes of Darcy Auclair and she could feel his warm hugs and she could see his smiles.

Lily swayed and saw spots. Bile began to inch up her throat. She couldn't breathe. Lily managed to choke out a response to a perturbed Professor Grubbly-Plank.

" I need to go to Professor Dumbledore's office. I need to leave now," Lily muttered. Sweat broke out on her temple.

" Miss Evans you need to speak to me with more respect," Professor Grubbly-Plank barked. Lily could feel her classmates staring at the exchange.

" My dad is dying," Lily, gasped her eyes fluttered and she couldn't breathe. The letter in her hands caught on fire. But Lily didn't care. Accidental magic happened to her more than often.

She could hear the gasps of her classmates. She didn't care. Lily couldn't take it anymore. She knew her slip of the tongue, but Darcy Auclair was more of a father than William Gastor had been in years.

Lily only had him left. Everyone else she knew since birth was either dead or abandoned her. She saw Professor Grubbly-Plank look at her sympathetically.

" Mr. Wood please take Miss Evans to the Headmaster's office. Here take this paper it has the current password on it," Professor Grubbly-Plank announced. Lily felt Michael wrap his arms around her and lead her out the classroom.

She saw Jason watching her with a sympathetic gaze. He crossed his arms over his chest and mouthed something. He mouthed Uncle Darcy and Lily nodded through her blurry eyes. Lily didn't see him but she thought she heard footsteps following her and Michael.

Lily let Michael pull her into the castle and lead her up the stairs. But she couldn't breathe. Butterflies and birds seemed to be swarming out of her. Lily gasped and clawed at her throat.

" Michael stop. I need to stop," Lily stuttered. She shoved her way out of Michael's arms and collapsed against the wall. It was cold but Lily didn't care. Michael stood over her with worried eyes. Lily heard pounding footsteps and looked up.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Jason running after her. His eyes were open and she almost screamed with relief. The world was pounding on her heart. But she didn't care.

" Wood what happened to her," Jason demanded. Lily cringed at his tone.

" What does it look like, she's having a panic attack Gastor," Michael announced. Lily watched Jason snatch the letter with the password to Dumbledore's office out of Michael's hand and grab her. He pulled her into her embrace.

" What are you doing Gastor, you're a purist doesn't that make touching a muggleborn a big no," Michael scoffed. Lily ignored him and slumped into Jason's embrace.

" Wood this isn't the time to fight. Let me take her to Dumbledore's or I'll jinx you," Jason snarled. Lily looked up and saw Jason pointing his wand at Michael who was blocking the path. Michael grabbed his wand and pointed it at Jason.

" Get your hands off her Gastor," Michael ordered. Lily was couldn't take it she was done she was giving up.

" Stop both of you just stop," Lily said through sobs. They stared at her in shock.

" Lily, Gastor is a bloody death eater why are you letting him even touch you," Michael questioned shocked.

" Michael I'm sorry. Please just leave. Leave and when I get back I'll explain everything to you," Lily pleaded. Something hardened in Michael's eyes as he stared at Lily and Jason.

" Fine but the minute you return you're explaining everything," Michael said through gritted teeth. Lily nodded and let Jason lead her up the stairs. She looked at Michael and felt something break. Her lies were too much even Michael couldn't take them anymore.

She took one last glance at Michael Wood, the boy who carried the war on his heart.

Lily felt Jason lead her to Dumbledore's office and say the password. He turned to her and brushed her messy hair from her face.

" Lily it's going to be alright," he murmured.

" Jace it's not going to be, we're in a war a war that will keep killing and killing people. Uncle Darcy wasn't just my godfather no he was my father. Dad abandoned me years ago and Uncle Darcy was there to raise me for five years," Lily choked. She felt Jason tense against her when she mentioned their dad.

" Lily I may not know Uncle Darcy like you do but I can tell you one thing. He's been dead for years. He was waiting for you and Ben to be old enough to no longer need him," Jason soothed. Lily felt sick when he mentioned Benjy.

" Benjy's a death eater. Jace, he's one of you. Why are you a death eater," Lily sobbed. Jason took her out of his embrace and took a glance at Dumbledore's office.

" I know he is. Lily I didn't get a choice in being a death eater, it's my destiny," Jason soothed.

" No Jason you don't always have to let destiny control you. Sometimes we have to make our own destiny, not take the one given to us," Lily answered. She took one last glance at Jason and turned. Lily marched up the stairs to Dumbledore's office barely able to hold her heart together.

" Not all of us can fight destiny Lils," Jason muttered while he watched the gargoyles close the entrance to Dumbledore's office.

Lily really hated the world, the world that she was living in. She hated that she was expected to let fate and destiny control her. She hated what destiny had done to Jason, to all of her brothers. She hated the horrors and nightmares the world threw at her. Lily was so tired she didn't have the strength to face reality anymore.

Lily almost forgot the familiar scent of France. It was warm and welcome, unlike the hatred she faced in England. She sighed and followed the tall man in front of her. She didn't recognize him and assumed that he was one of the interns for the auror department.

He weaved through the crowds in the Ministry with one hand around Lily's wrist. The auror didn't look older than Lily. He was tall and had cropped brown hair. His eyes were a light blue that looked almost purple. Lily watched him glance at the ceiling and then glance at Lily with a smirk.

Suddenly he stopped. " I'm sorry but I've heard about you. The entire country is under the impression that you've disappeared! My head told us about you, how you took on a whole army of death eaters when you were fourteen and managed to hold them off. I heard that one even shattered the ceiling of the Ministry," the auror quickly mumbled. Lily watched him amused.

" What's your name," she questioned.

" Alex, Alex Moody Miss Gastor," he said. Lily frowned when he said Gastor.

" Well Auror Moody, I've heard that name somewhere before," Lily said. He smiled ruefully.

" Must be my older brother, Alastor Moody. He's something of a superstar in England," Alex admitted. Lily smiled.

" I've heard of him. So if you're from England what are you doing in France," Lily questioned.

" My brother's six years older than me, gives a pretty big shadow to live in," Alex responded. Lily felt empathy flood through her. Having five brothers wasn't the best thing in the world.

" Is that why you lived in France," Alex blurted out. Lily watched him blush.

" No I was the black sheep of a pureblood family. My parents sent me here with a powerful confundus charm. Most people who know who I really am "forget" about it. Only people in France and some people in Greece remember who I really am," Lily answered. She used to hate the charm since her friends in Greece, except for Selena, had all but forgotten about her. But now it benefitted her. No one in France or Greece would accidentally reveal who she really was.

" Well Miss Gastor it is an honor, but I was told to take you to St. Joan's," Alex said.

" Call me Lily. I don't go by Gastor anymore it carries too much baggage. I'm known as Lily Evans in England I'm also a muggleborn there," Lily said. Alex watched her with respectful eyes.

" It must take a lot of courage to do that Lily," he responded. Lily followed him out the Ministry and to the busy streets of muggle Paris.

" I don't know it's hard. My lies are starting to catch up with me but I've come so far. I feel like giving up Auror Moody," Lily answered.

" Auror Moody is my brother. I'm just Alex. Lily what you've done isn't wrong, no its commendable. You left the cushioned life of a pureblood to see what it's like to be a muggleborn," Alex said. Lily could only nod. She grabbed his hand and felt the tug at her naval of apparition.

" Well this is it. It was an honor to meet you Lily. I hope you don't give up yet, keep fighting. If you ever need any help don't doubt to send me an owl," Alex said.

Lily nodded and watched the young auror apparate from the entrance to St. Joan's. She sighed and remembered why she was here. Lily twisted her bracelet and entered the hospital.

The hospital was pristine. Lily walked past quiet families and up to the level guide. She found the level Darcy Auclair was on and walked into an elevator. She pressed against the wall and watched the family inside. They were crying from joy. It seemed that one of their relatives had a baby. Lily smiled; some people still had hope even in war.

Lily watched them get off the elevator and followed them out. She walked over to the nurse's desk in the middle of the floor.

" Excuse me. I'm here to see Darcy Auclair," Lily said to the nurse at the desk. She looked up and eyed Lily.

" He's in room 405," the nurse replied. Lily nodded and walked down the hall. She found the room and entered. Lily's face crumpled at the site. Darcy Auclair was covered in bandages and wounds. Lily closed the door behind her and walked over to him. She sat in the chair next to his bed.

" Lily," a deep voice mumbled. Lily looked up and relief washed over her when she saw the blue eyes of Darcy Auclair.

" Uncle Darcy what happened," Lily questioned.

" Its nothing Lily. Just a little skirmish that I had to take care of," Darcy Auclair responded. Lily couldn't ask any more questions, she lost the will to speak. She sat down and watched as Darcy Auclair slept.

" Miss Gastor the healer would like to speak with you," a nurse chimed from the door. Lily nodded and reluctantly turned from the sleeping body of Darcy Auclair.

" Its okay honey, he'll be here when you get back," the nurse said. Lily only nodded and followed her out the hall. She walked until the nurse stopped in front of a healer's room. Lily smiled and walked inside.

A thin elegant woman stood inside. She had blonde hair and blue eyes. She smiled when she saw Lily.

" Miss Gastor. I've heard so much about you. Don't worry my lips are sealed to the British. Your muggleborn persona is well known here in France," the woman said. Lily only nodded and pursed her lips.

" Straight to business then. Well if you haven't heard there was a death eater attack up yesterday in muggle Paris. There were not enough aurors on the scene so Mousier Auclair as head of the Department of Magical Law decided to aid the battle. He is a hero. Many muggles were killed, few death eaters were captured and five aurors died. Mousier Auclair was hit by several curses including the cruiciatus curse. I'm sorry Miss Gastor but he will not live. He has at most today and tomorrow. But he could fade at any moment. We've decided to end it soon. He's lost too much blood and the pain is too much. I'm so sorry," the healer listed.

Lily could feel her heart drop it fell to her stomach and pain sat in its spot. The healer watched her with sympathetic eyes.

" Miss Gastor, if you would like a few last minutes with him I can give that to you," the healer suggested. Lily's throat felt sticky so she only nodded. Lily followed the healer out of room and to the room of Darcy Auclair.

" I will be back in five minutes," the healer said. Lily turned to the body of her uncle and could barely suppress her tears.

"Your father never forgave me. He was under the impression that I stole Rose from him. I let him believe that. Right after Hogwarts ended we ceased all contact. I stayed in England and he left. I married Rose and worked in the Ministry. Your father returned months after he left with your mother. They were married and she was pregnant with Julius. I've never seen William Gastor happier than when he was with your mother. Your mother and father were more than true love; they were soul mates. Your gentle and loving mother was the person who encouraged your father to heal our broken friendship. Their deaths broke my heart. My sweet Rose is up there with them Lily, and they are waiting for me. I'm so sorry I didn't do more for you. I'm sorry that I couldn't do more for my son. Benedict was so bitter after his mother's death, he never learned to heal or to move on. I'm telling all of this to you Lily for a reason. Lily you were never an ill-timed responsibility thrown to me, no you are and always will be my daughter. I could never be more proud of you. Your choices and actions are so brave Lily I am proud to have known you," Darcy Auclair said.

By the time he finished, Lily was stunned. She didn't know that he knew how she felt about staying with him. She didn't know that he was proud of her.

" Lily listen to me. Lily Marie Gastor do not stop what you are doing. Your plan to be a muggleborn is amazing. You are fighting a system an ancient system that must be destroyed. I've placed some spells that will activate the very second you leave France. Every person you are not certain about knowing your true identity will forget who you really are. Too many people in France know who you are. This will help your plan. Lily there is a letter for you in my will. It's from your mother. It will explain why you were truly banished from England in the first place. The reason may surprise you. Lily live. Live long and live well my daughter," Darcy Auclair announced.

" Thank you for your guidance for your warmth and for your morals. Without them I could never be the person I am today," Lily said through her whirlwind of thoughts. Darcy Auclair smiled. Lily took his hand in hers and waited for the healer.

" Miss Gastor do you want to stay for this," the healer questioned. Lily could only nod and watched as the healer shot a spell at her Uncle Darcy.

" Rose I'm coming," he murmured as the spell hit him. Lily gasped and watched as he slumped against the pillow. His hand became limp in hers. Lily blinked the tears away. She refused to cry, she refused to back down.

Lily waited for the attendants to the funeral to leave the grave. She felt her shoes crunch the light layer of snow she was walking on. It was two days after her beloved Uncle Darcy had passed away. Lily stayed in the Auclair Manor awaiting the funeral and reading of the will.

She came to the funeral wearing black dress robes and her bracelet. Lily sat in the back and watched as people spoke of his courage and bravery. She scanned the crowds for Benjy but didn't find him. He didn't bother to attend his father's funeral.

Lily stood in front of two graves. One of the two was older. She leaned over it and read the words on it_. Rosaline Emma Auclair nee Whitewood, a beloved mother, friend and woman._

Lily pulled her wand out and brushed the thin layer of snow off the tombstone. She remembered coming to the grave once a year on her aunt Rose's birthday. She remembered the distant faded laugh of her aunt. She remembered his aunt's sparkling robin egg blue eyes. She remembered Rosaline Emma Whitewood.

" Orichideous," Lily whispered. She made a circular motion with her wand and watched as a bouquet of white roses conjured in front of the grave.

Lily moved to the other grave. She could feel the fresh tear of Darcy Auclair's loss fresh in her chest. Rose Auclair brought a bittersweet pain to Lily; she hoped that the same would happen with Darcy eventually.

The grave was freshly dug with no snow on it. She read the elegantly scripted words on it. _Darcy Louis Auclair, The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him._

She was unsure why her Uncle Darcy had chose this quote but she felt like it fit him. He was a fighter. He defended his country until it killed him. Lily would always remember that.

Lily remembered a man who wasn't just brave enough to face death, but brave enough to raise her. She felt a tear trickle down her face. She let it fall on the grave, one tear for this amazing man. She watched in fade into the light layer of snow on the grave.

Lily then walked out of the graveyard and let the snow cover her tracks and her memories.

Lily walked for a mile and she remembered. She remembered the dead and the gone. She remembered the people still in her life. She let them fade. She let her memories of France of her parents, of Greece slip into the back of her mind as she walked. She blinked tears away and continued walking.

Lily let her past fade to distant, bittersweet memories and faced the future with open arms. Eventually Lily pulled her old broom that she found inside the Auclair Manor, out of her bracelet. She jumped on it and flew off to the Manor ready to face the future.

" Miss Gastor, in the will of Darcy Louis Auclair his entire estate was left to you. The contents of his safe will be transferred to yours. He seemed to have forgotten his son for some reason," the reader of the will babbled. Lily nodded and held the written will in her hands.

" I need to leave soon so I will leave you with brief instructions. I want everything in the estate excluding this Manor and the one in England sold. All the proceeds will be delivered to my bank vault in Gringotts before the start of spring. The House elves in the Manors are to be given monthly salaries using money from my vault," Lily answered. The reader of the will nodded.

Lily watched him leave and sat in the empty Manor. She left instructions with the house elves to maintain the house and not let anyone in without her permission. She was waiting for an auror to escort her to the international floo station in the French Ministry.

She had missed the entire school week and was returning to Hogwarts the next morning, which was Saturday. It was a late Friday night but Lily didn't care.

She only bothered to stay this long in France to see if Benjy would make an appearance. But he didn't. It didn't anger her that he couldn't attend his own father's funeral; it made her sad. Her sweet Benjy was nothing more than a lie, but so was she.

Lily walked out of the dining room. She was so scared. Lily wasn't ready to face the empty manor. The house elves had switched all the lights off, but the light glow of the setting sun illuminated them.

She walked through the empty house and could feel the silence. There were so many memories in here. She could see the small clearing where she and Benjy played Quidditch years ago. She could see the large spacious rooms that held haunting memories.

Lily knew that there was a strong chance that she would never come back here. Not only did the war in England impact her life, but there were also too many ghosts here.

She was so scared. The right thing to do would be to sell the Manor, but she couldn't. Lily may have been out of touch with society, but selling a pureblood estate was a big no.

Lily thought about the will. Darcy Auclair himself in his neat French script wrote it. She almost broke down in sobs when she saw the familiar way he wrote the letter a.

The letter that her mum left for her in Darcy Auclair's will joined the one her father left for her inside of her bracelet. Lily could not deal with opening it now; it would bring horrible memories that she worked so hard to bury.

Lily decided to continue her life as a muggleborn. There was nothing left for her as Lily Gastor, but as Lily Evans she could make a difference. Lily looked at her image in a mirror shocked.

She lost something; she lost something ever since Benjy betrayed her. Her body looked thinner. Her face was a bit more angular and her eyes were filled with open pain. Huge bags sat under them. Lily didn't sleep anymore, she couldn't.

" Lily the house elves let me in. I'm taking you to the Floor station," a voice announced. Lily turned and saw Alex Moody standing in the entrance hall. She nodded and followed him outside the manor. Lily closed the door behind them and took Alex's outstretched hand. She felt her world spin and looked up.

They stood outside of the entrance to the Ministry. Lily smiled stiffly and turned to Alex.

" Thank you. I hope that you'll visit me when I come back to France," Lily said.

" Of course I will. Stay brave Lily, Stay true and don't lose yourself in your lies," Alex advised. Lily nodded and entered the French ministry. She pushed forward and eventually reached the floo station.

She stood in front of a fireplace ready to leave. Lily remembered Darcy Auclair's spell and smiled. Right before she stepped in the green flames Lily spoke.

" Goodbye Lily Gastor, at least for now. British Ministry of Magic," she said. Lily dissolved into flames and felt like she left a part of herself in France, a part that would stay there.

Lily exited the British Ministry at about 2:00 a.m. Instead of flooing to Hogsmeade, she walked out into muggle London. She felt amazing. Lily didn't have to let her past hold her back. She didn't have a past. She was Lily Evans.

Lily couldn't use her wand, but she could fly. Lily tapped her bracelet and a broom came out. She climbed on it and flew. Lily didn't know how long she flew for but, she stopped when she could see the early morning sun rise. She knew it was risky to fly in the dark but she didn't care. Lily was all for risks.

She flew to where Diagon alley was. Lily pushed memories of childhood visits to Diagon Alley away and entered it. She went to the Leaky Cauldron noting that the streets were filled to the brim even at an early time.

Lily slipped into the building and nodded at the man at the bar. She went over to the fireplace and grabbed some floo powder.

" Hogsmeade," Lily shouted. She jumped into the green flames and landed inside of the Three Broomsticks. Lily brushed the powder off her shirt. Lily looked at her outfit and considering changing.

It was made of a short-sleeved black dress. The dress had a low V-neck and ended above her knees. She wore a pair of small black heels on the bottom. But she didn't change, she was mourning.

Lily sighed and walked out of the tavern. She let the late winter summer beat down on her. Lily walked through the crowds and eventually reached the path to Hogwarts. She walked up the stone staircase and stood outside of the entrance hall. She could see the open doors of the Great Hall and debated going inside. If she went inside she would have to face reality. She would have to face Michael.

Lily cursed remembering that she promised to tell Michael everything. She sighed and decided to get it over. Lily couldn't hide in the crowds, her clothing stood out. She moved a strand of hair behind her ear and bit her lip. Lily walked into the Great Hall since she had to face reality.

Lily didn't ignore the whispers and stares like she used to, no she let them wash over her. She could see the gold eyes of her brothers watching her with pity. She could see the hazel eyes of James Potter staring at her in interest. But she turned around and faced the Gryffindors.

All of their eyes were filled with open sympathy. Well excluding Michael. He wasn't facing her; no he was facing the girl practically sitting in his lap. Lily watched in shock as Michael snogged a giggling Hufflepuff. But she quickly covered it. Lily walked over to the Gryffindor table with a blank face. Marlene stood and walked over to her. Lily let her pull her into a hug.

" Lily what happened. Wood didn't tell us anything," Marlene questioned. Lily noticed Marlene's cool tone when she mentioned Michael. She gulped and sat in between Marlene and Alice. She sighed and faced the other Gryffindors.

" My dad was in a death eater massacre in France. He died a day after arriving at the hospital. They couldn't help him," Lily revealed. Technically she wasn't lying; she was slightly altering the truth.

The other Gryffindors didn't have pity in their eyes; they had empathy. Lily could see them reliving their losses and each other's. If anyone knew what it was like to loose someone it would be them.

" Oh Lils," Marlene soothed. Lily didn't let tears come. She could see Michael looking at her. But his eyes weren't warm; they were hard and cold.

" Brittany you should leave. I'm done with you," he said to the blond in his lap harshly. Lily flinched at his tone and watched tears fill the girl's eyes. She nodded pathetically and fled from the table. Alice hissed with anger next to Lily.

" Wood if you're going to be a man-whore go and sit the Marauders, we really don't appreciate your actions," Emmeline declared. Lily watched the other Gryffindors nod. She looked over at Michael and saw hurt in his eyes. It disappeared after a second.

" I will leave. I just need a quick word with Evans," Michael responded. Lily cringed at his tone. He looked at Lily with a cruel smile.

" Wood Lily doesn't need to speak with you. She's been through enough," Frank growled. Lily looked at him in amazement. She was under the impression that Frank was anti-Lily.

" Yes she does. I'll be done with her after this conversation," Michael sneered. Lily didn't want to cause more strife and stood.

" It's okay I just have to tell Wood one simple thing. I'll be back," Lily comforted.

" Are you sure Lils," Alice question. Lily nodded and looked at Michael.

" Let's go," she said. Michael stood with a blank face and Lily followed him out of the Great Hall. He led her outside to the Black Lake. Lily remembered their conversations down here.

" What the hell Evans? You ditched me to go prance off with muggle-hater Gastor," Michael accused. Lily almost flinched at his tone.

" Michael things are complicated," Lily answered. She felt Michael grab her shoulders and turn her towards him. She cringed from the pressure he kept on her.

" Complicated? Lily you can't do this okay! I barely know you, no one knows you. You didn't tell anyone where you're from, or your parents' names or if you had siblings. Gideon and Alice were debating if you were an orphan or not," Michael shouted. Lily stood and took it all.

" Lily I didn't know where you were. You never even told us where you came from," Michael said. Lily watched as he calmed down.

" Just tell me your dad's name," Michael pleaded. Lily looked up and saw desperation in his eyes.

" Michael it's complicated," Lily muttered. She saw a crazed gleam in Michael's eyes.

" Why is everything so bloody complicated," Michael demanded. Lily looked down and felt guilt and regret creep up on her.

" Michael I'll tell you my father's name but that's the last question you ask about my past okay? And you can't tell anyone else, and that includes our friends," Lily demanded. Michael nodded.

" Fine just tell me his name," Michael beseeched.

" Do you want to know who my father figure was or who my biological father was," Lily questioned.

" Biological," Michael responded tersely. Lily sighed; she was hoping that Michael would ask for the other.

"William, William Gastor," Lily whispered. Michael let go of her and stared at her.

" No but you don't, you don't look like those bastards. Lily are you lying tell me please," Michael demanded.

" Jason and the others look more like my dad, I take after our mum," Lily answered. Michael's eyes were so sad. Lily felt her heart stutter, his warm brown eyes were filled with betrayal.

" So that's it. You're a bloody pureblood. And not just a normal one, you just had to be the daughter of the most bigoted and prejudice one," Michael said through gritted teeth.

" Michael you need to understand. I'm only his daughter biologically. William Gastor hasn't been my actual father in years," Lily pleaded.

" Fuck! You don't understand do you? Lily you're just like them. You're a liar and you tricked everybody I know into believing your lies," Michael argued. Lily blinked. She couldn't take it anymore. Michael wasn't the victim here, she was.

" Stop just stop! You don't know what I went through. My parents all but disowned me. The only reason they probably didn't disown me was since they were hoping for an alliance. I went through so much Michael! Every person I know since birth has either died or betrayed me. Do you know what it's like to have brothers who are death eaters? It's horrible. I'm so scared that one day I'll go into a battle and have to duel one of them. But you don't Michael you don't understand. I lied for a reason. When you found out who I really was you couldn't take. That's why I lied in the bloody first place," Lily screamed. Her voice was hoarse by the time she finished, but Michael's reaction was worth it.

" I'm sorry Michael but this isn't going to work. This little thing we've done. The flirting and the jokes, they're over. I actually tricked myself into thinking you were different. Jason was right," Lily muttered. She turned from Michael and started walking towards the castle. Michael didn't try to stop her. But she was okay with that.

Michael Wood wasn't the boy who made her feel as though she was on fire. But Lily would get over him and one day she would find a boy who made her feel like she was on fire.

" The sad thing is that I feel guilty, Wood actually tricked me into feeling guilty," Lily muttered. Jason sat next to her. They were in the stands of the Quidditch pitch. Lily had managed to discover that Jason was a human. He had an escape from the pressure of his family, the girls, and the Marauders; Quidditch.

Lily watched Jason re-strap his Quidditch gear. The sun was setting in the pale winter sky; spring was coming. He took the Quaffle next to her and held it in his hands.

" Lily it's not your fault, it's mine. Cass, Lucian and I should have done more to protect you from Wood. That bastard is getting sneaky," Jason muttered.

" How are the others? I talked to Lucian at the beginning of the year and I spoke to Cass for a few minutes at breakfast back in February," Lily revealed.

" Julius is preparing for the Quidditch World Cup this summer. I don't know what made him agree to play for England, usually he refuse to. Pericles is still our favorite nerd; he's taking his Healer's test in May. After that he'll be assigned somewhere for a residency. Lucian's going mad; he's got NEWTS coming up. I heard he's planning on proposing to Eliza Rosier at the end of the year. Cassius has an internship with the department of mysteries this summer. And I'm running out of girls to sleep with," Jason jested.

Lily smiled and shoved him lightly. Her brothers had lives here and she was happy that they could move on so easily from their parents' death, even if they were death eaters.

Lily leaned over and snatched the Quaffle out of Jason's hands. She jumped on her broom and sped to a hoop. She could see Jason out of the corner of her eye flying towards her. She took the Quaffle and threw it at the left hoop.

" Ten points to Lily! You're getting slow Jace," Lily joked. Jason smirked and grabbed the Quaffle. He flew to the other hoop and Lily bolted after him. She watched him throw the Quaffle at the center hoop and zoomed after it.

"I told you Jace, you're getting pretty slow," Lily teased holding the Quaffle inches from entering the hoop.

" Well it doesn't matter if I'm worse than you. You're a seeker not a chaser," Jason chuckled. He flew down to the grass and Lily followed him. They began to undo their gear.

" Lily I've got to ask you a quick question. Ben told me he didn't get his father's inheritance do you know who did," Jason questioned. Lily froze and looked over at Jason. He was concentrating on his shoulder pads.

" I did," Lily responded. She ducked and grabbed her gear. She shoved it into her bag and stood.

" Damn the entire thing," Jason questioned. Lily nodded.

" I always thought that Julius would be the wealthiest in the family. I guess you just beat him," Jason smirked.

" What do you mean," Lily questioned. Jason shoved his gear into his bag and walked with Lil out of the pitch.

" The inheritance was split between all of us and Julius is the one making the most money so he should be the richest. But you've got the Auclair money, the house in Greece and I'm under the impression that you're not planning on being a pureblood housewife," Jason responded. Lily merely nodded and didn't respond.

" Well if it isn't the Gastor siblings. Are you are your way to murder some muggles? Such a great brother-sister bonding activity," A voice jeered. Lily looked in front of her and tensed.

Jason wrapped an arm over her shoulder protectively. Michael sneered at this.

" Wood mind your own business," Jason commanded. Lily swore she saw a flicker of anguish in Michael's eyes.

" Sure thing Gastor," Michael answered. Lily watched him walk past them and into the Pitch. Guilt flared in her stomach.

" It'll get easier," Jason reassured. Lily nodded and walked to the castle with him.

The next day was a warm Monday. Lily woke after a night of restless sleep and sighed. One week ago today Darcy Auclair was alive. Now he wasn't. Lily could see the sun slowly starting to rise. She tiptoed out of her bed and snuck into the bathroom. After a quick shower and brushing her teeth. Lily sat on her bed slipping her shoes on. It was warm, warm enough that Lily decided to leave her cloak behind in the dorm.

" Lily can you wait for me," Marlene called from the bathroom. Lily slung her bag over her back and turned to bathroom. Marlene walked out with her pin straight black hair in a Dutch braid.

" Sure thing Marlee," Lily answered. Marlene sent her a smile of appreciation and threw her books inside of her bag. When Marlene was ready the two girls walked out of the dorm.

" Lily I just want you to know that I've only known you for three months. But there's something about you that makes me want to trust you. I'm not the most open person out there. It took me years to open up to my roommates, even Dorcas. I just want you to know that you're not alone. We've all had our fair share of tragedies, and this is coming not just from me but everybody. We're here for you," Marlene said as they stood in the Common Room.

" That means a lot Marlene. I'm grateful that you guys care so much about me," Lily choked. Marlene leaned over and engulfed her in a hug.

" Now that we've had our sentimental part of the day, its time to get to breakfast before the Prewitts and Frank eat all of the food," Marlene announced. Lily smiled but remembered something.

" Marlene what happened to Michael," Lily questioned. Marlene looked forward and pursed her lips.

" Lily you need to understand that Michael Wood is a major-league bastard. He is a chauvinistic man-whore who will never change. We've known him and been friends with him since before Hogwarts. It's hard to be around him. He's got a screwed up family to start. His parents were these really pushy aurors who wanted him to follow in their steps. They died the summer before third year. Before that he was a Quidditch obsessed man-whore, like Black minus the purist status. After that summer he came to Hogwarts and pushed girls away and paid attention to school. Got his grades up and was even considered to be a prefect this year. But we knew it couldn't last for long. He's not meant for this. After you left, Alice and some Ravenclaw Prefect found him in a broom closet with a Hufflepuff. We hope that someday he'll actually stick to being mature, but I don't know if he's ready for that," Marlene responded.

Lily was shocked. Michael seemed so innocent, like Potter on some level. Caring parents who pressured them into doing something raised both. But the difference was that Michael was raised to respect muggles, whereas Potter was raised to detest them. When Michael's parents died he kept a guard up and decided to mature, but it didn't last for long. Lily only hoped that Potter would be different when he lost both his parents.

When she and Marlene reached the Great Hall, they sat in the center of the Gryffindor table. Lily looked at the faculty table in the front of the room and noticed Dumbledore's absence. Slowly, students began to trickle in, including the other Gryffindors. Emmeline and Benjy sat on either sides of her and started to eat.

Lily spoke with the Prewitts about the upcoming Quidditch game. She argued lightly with Benjy about the new prefect route. Lily made a bet with Frank that the harpies would beat the arrows in the up coming game.

Then Michael entered the Great Hall. He skirted around the Gryffindor table and took a seat at the Ravenclaw one. Lily watched him flirt with the Ravenclaws and joke with some members of the Quidditch team.

" He'll come back to us in a week," Marlene muttered. Lily shot her an appreciative smile and opened a copy of the profit.

" It's disgusting! I bet some purists bribed the Profit into writing this garbage. We all know that death eaters attacked Paris not this shite about a troll up rising," Emmeline griped.

" What's even more disturbing is that the French Ministry won't declare war on the death eaters. The British one did ages ago, not that it's doing any good," Adam pointed out.

" Bagnold's barely got control over the Ministry anymore. I heard that the Wizengamot's dominated by purists or death eater sympathizers," Alice explained.

" Nothing going to change in the Ministry anytime soon. At least until we graduate. We can make a difference then, for now all I'm going to worry about is passing my OWLS," Benjy joked.

The others nodded, but Lily felt like they were helpless. They should be able to take a stand. Lily followed Marlene and Benjy to DADA. She saw Benjy sit next to a Hufflepuff friend of his from the Gob Stone club. Marlene and her slid into a row near the front of the room.

" Looks like the Marauders have arrived. I can always tell where they are from the increase in hysterical giggling and the hair dye spells," Marlene whispered to Lily.

Lily laughed and turned. The Marauders strutted into the classroom with their usual fangirls around them.

" Its not a bloody model walk way," Lily whispered to Marlene who chuckled at this. The Marauders slid into the row directly behind them and smirked when they caught the girl's gaze.

" Is there a problem McKinnon," Black questioned. Lily glanced at Marlene and smirked.

" Black's ego and Potter's ego battle for dominance every time they enter a room. You can tell who the winner is by observing whose smirk is cockier," Lily whispered to Marlene. Marlene turned red and burst out in huge laughs. Lily joined her and she was sure that the class was staring at them.

" You win Lily," Marlene gasped through laughs. Lily turned red and turned around. Marlene joined her, and she could feel the Marauders' incredulous stares.

" Class what is this? I have three months to prepare you for your DADA OWL so stop your giggling and Mr. Wood if you could care to stop examining Ms. Hector's mouth," Bishop Shacklebolt voiced in a deep baritone.

Lily could see Michael smirking as he shoved a girl off his lap. Even Jason and Black didn't treat girls like that.

" Today is going to be a day of notes. Don't groan, I haven't assigned notes in months," Bishop ordered. Lily began copying his notes on the shrinking charm.

" Oi! McKinnon," a voice whispered. Lily turned to Marlene who was trying to ignore the annoying voice of Sirius Black.

" Marlene McKinnon! My future wife! The provider of hot and steamy sex and future mother of our seven children," Black whispered. Lily could feel waves of anger roll off Marlene.

" Black if you know what's good for you you'll shut up," Lily suggested. She turned and saw the Stormy eyes of Sirius Black eyeing her.

" I don't need your assistance Evans," Black responded. Lily shrugged and Marlene turned. Lily could see a murderous gleam in her eyes.

" What do you want Black," Marlene questioned twirling her wand at Black. The other Marauders watched the exchange with amused stares. Lily could see Jason and Lupin making a bet on the outcome.

" I'm just curious McKinnon. What's going on with Wood, he's being more of a nuisance than usual. I see you Gryffindors have finally noticed that he's a bloody whiny prat," Black said. Lily saw Marlene tense before she responded.

" Not that it's any of your business Black, but Wood is just doing what he does best; ditching his friends for a quickie and a snog," Marlene replied. She turned and faced her notes again but Lily didn't. She watched Black with disgust.

" Evans I know my face is a gift to humanity but could you take a break from ogling it," he slyly said.

" No it's not that, it's just that I'm wondering how your head can even hold your ego up," Lily responded. She saw a flash of anger in Black's eyes.

" That's cute Evans. Why don't you run off to your dad, oh wait he's dead," Black jeered. Lily could feel her blood freeze in her veins. She saw fury rise in Potter's eyes as he looked anywhere but at Lily. She turned with a red blush on her face.

Black's comment hadn't bothered her, no it was the rage in James potter's eyes as he glared at his best friend.

Mountains of books surrounded Lily. She groaned and pushed away her Transfiguration paper. She could see the sun high in the sky. Lily yearned to go outside and join Marlene and Alice in Hogsmeade, but she couldn't. Lily had too much work to make up.

Her teachers gave her sorry looks before handing her a week's worth of work as homework. Lily understood why they did it though. OWLS were coming and she needed to be ready.

Yet after spending the entire morning and a good part of the afternoon in the library, Lily could barely feel her fingers. Words swirled together and Lily blinked as she read the textbook on the Goblin Uprising of 1658.

Lily looked at her planner and dropped her quill. She gaped at the paper. Lily had just spent an hour writing a paper on the wrong Goblin Uprising. She almost screamed with frustration.

She grabbed the textbook and marched over to the history section of the library. Lily scanned the shelves for the right textbook but couldn't find it. She took a step back and looked for the textbook again. Lily seethed with annoyance when she couldn't find it.

" Looking for this," a voice announced. Lily turned around and saw the sinewy physique of Remus Lupin leaning against a bookshelf. He held the textbook on the Goblin Rebellion of 1658 in his long hands. Lily sighed with relief.

" Thank Merlin. Do you mind sharing that with me," Lily questioned. Remus looked up and Lily could see his pale blue eyes analyzing her curiously. He nodded and Lily smiled.

The pair walked to Lily's table and Lily cleared the other books off. Remus raised his eyebrows at the sight of the books, and Lily blushed.

" That's a lot of textbooks you've got," Remus said.

" Missing a week of school results in a lot of homework to make up," Lily responded. She sat across from Remus and he opened the textbook.

" I heard about that. I would say I'm sorry but condolences aren't exactly my expertise," Remus announced.

" It's okay, I think I've had enough condolences to last a lifetime," Lily chuckled.

A silence fell over the pair as they worked on their essays. Lily had time to analyze Remus for the first time. He usually sat with any of the Marauders during classes. Yet there was something different about him. He didn't sleep with girls like the rest of the Marauders.

Remus was quiet. He didn't insult muggleborns, except that one time with Benjy. Lily looked at him and could see thin scars running up his arms and neck. She wondered how he got them. Remus didn't look up; he sat intently writing his essay. Occasionally Lily could see his eyes light up with an idea.

" I'm sorry for being so blunt but why are you friends with the Marauders," Lily said before she could control the thought. Remus looked up and placed his quill down.

" I'm sorry that was horribly personal," Lily muttered.

" No its fine. I guess a lot of people wonder why too. We've all got our flaws and James, Sirius, and Jason were some of the few people in my life who happened to accept mine. They're more than friends, they're my brothers and it's only right for me to give them the same courtesy," Remus lightly answered.

" You're not as prejudiced as them. I couldn't imagine Black or Potter agreeing to share a textbook with a muggleborn," Lily stated.

" Evans they've got their reason for what they do. Jason's got his family and all that pressure of being on of the holy seven. James, well you've seen his boggart. Sirius was raised into it. I can't ask them to change; they've done so much for me. They're better people than you think," Remus answered with a sardonic grin.

" Lupin you do know that they're death eaters," Lily responded. She watched Remus tense but respond with pursed lips.

" Evans don't judge them. Being a death eater doesn't change that they're some of the best people in this world," Remus answered. Lily could see a flash of anger in his eyes and turned back to her essay.

" Sometimes good people do the wrong thing and it's up to people like us to decide if that makes them bad," Remus mused. Lily looked up and stared him in the eye.

" Sometimes bad people do good thing but that doesn't necessarily change that their bad," Lily answered.

" Touché," Remus answered with an amused smirk. Lily finished her conclusion paragraph and sat back in her chair.

" Only five more essays and six more textbook assignments to do," Lily moaned. She massaged her hand and wiped some ink off it.

" Well maybe I can be of assistance. I went to visit my sick mother last week and I have three essays and four textbook assignments to do," Remus suggested. Lily merely smiled and picked up another textbook.

" Well Mr. Lupin let's get started," Lily answered. Remus smiled and grabbed his quill.

" Ten points to Gryffindor. As Ms. McKinnon pointed out, the silencing spell needs a strong jabbing motion," Professor Flickwick pointed out. Lily copied the notes on the board and ignored Marlene's smug grin.

Lily dipped her quill in her inkpot and quickly copied the notes. She brushed a strand of hair off her face. Lily could feel the sun beating down on her from the open window. She ignored the desire to grab her broom and fly. Her thoughts were interrupted when the door to the classroom opened.

A short freckly first year stood by the door. His tie was lopsided and his hair curled chaotically. He gulped and knocked on the door.

" Professor Flickwick," the boy said. The short professor turned and looked at the boy.

" Mr. Griffiths I'm in the middle of a lesson," Professor Flickwick scolded. The boy blushed a brilliant red and stuttered out a response.

" I'm sorry but Professor McGonagall wanted to see Lily Evans," the boy sputtered. Lily felt a flash of sympathy in her heart. The poor boy was afraid of getting a detention.

" Miss Evans report to your next class, you may leave," Professor Flickwick said. Lily nodded and shoved her books inside her bag. She slid out her seat and walked out the classroom door. The boy was waiting for her and he looked up.

" Hi there, I'm Lily Evans what's your name," Lily questioned. The boy blushed a furious red.

" Trevor Griffiths," the boy answered. Lily smiled and followed the boy through the hallways.

" You're an amazing seeker, are you going to play for the league," the boy said, breaking the silence.

" No I don't think so. There's a war out there and I want to fight," Lily responded.

" I wanted to play Quidditch, my older sister, Wilda, she was captain of the Hufflepuff team. She's playing for the harpies now she's the reserve chaser. But I'm more of an arrows fan," the boy announced. Lily looked down at the boy's tie and saw the familiar red and gold of Gryffindor.

" What position do you want to play," Lily questioned. They crossed a large staircase and the boy smiled.

" I'm an okay seeker. But you're the seeker," the boy answered.

" Maybe someday you'll be the seeker, I've only got two years left here. You have time," Lily reassured. The boy smiled and stopped in front of the Transfiguration room.

" It was nice meeting you Lily," the boy said. Lily smiled; she genuinely liked the boy.

" It was grand to meet you. Maybe when you're playing for Arrows as their seeker you'll send me some tickets," Lily grinned. The boy smiled and ambled down the hall. Lily turned to the wood door and slowly opened it.

She looked inside and saw Professor McGonagall sitting at her desk. Lily knocked on the door and she looked up with a light smile.

" Miss Evans, please come in," Professor McGonagall announced. Lily entered the room and closed the door behind her. She walked over to Professor McGonagall and stood in front of her desk.

" Do take a seat," Professor McGonagall announced. Lily sat in the chair faxing the desk.

" Professor am I in trouble," Lily questioned. Professor McGonagall pushed the essays to the side of her desk and looked at Lily.

" Of course not Miss Evans. You haven't done anything wrong. I called you in today for your career counseling session. You were away during the scheduled one, so I waited till now for a make up one," Professor McGonagall stated.

" Now Miss Evans do you have any idea of what you hope to do after Hogwarts," Professor McGonagall questioned.

" I'm interested in working in the auror department," Lily answered. Professor McGonagall's face softened.

" A great choice Miss Evans. Your grades for the year show that you'll do just fine on your OWLS. You should be able to take the NEWT courses required to work in the auror department," Professor McGonagall announced.

" Which courses do I need an OWL in to become an auror," Lily queried.

" You need nothing below an exceeds expectations in Herbalogy, Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, and Transfiguration. I don't accept students with anything but an Outstanding into my NEWT transfiguration class though," Professor McGonagall announced.

Lily paled at this; she was going to have a few sleepless nights ahead of her.

" Miss Evans, this may not be an appropriate question, but are you planning on attending Hogwarts next year," Professor McGonagall questioned.

" Of course I am. Why did you ask," Lily asked.

" We've had a recent drop in muggleborn students due to current events outside of school. Miss Evans you are an exceptionally talent student, it would be a shame to see you leave Hogwarts," Professor McGonagall responded.

" I don't plan on leaving. That's what Voldemort wants. He wants to see the world bow to him, but I won't," Lily answered. Professor McGonagall smiled.

" Well then I wish you luck on your OWLS and I hope to see you in my NEWT transfiguration class next year. I believe that you have Herbalogy in five minutes, so head off," Professor McGonagall finished. Lily smiled and walked out of the room.

She closed the door behind her, but she heard a voice. Lily recognized the voice; it was Bishop Shacklebolt's voice. Lily leaned against the solid wood of the door and listen to their conversation.

" Minerva you saw that she's passionate and ready," Bishop announced.

" She's too young Bishop. I will not allow you to let mere children join the war. She's too young, to innocent," Professor McGonagall responded.

" No one's innocent anymore. This girl has a fire. She can fight and she wants to," Bishop pointed out.

" It doesn't matter. Albus has made it very clear that he won't allow his student to join the Order. At least until they are of a proper age," Professor McGonagall claimed.

" She's sixteen, Dumbledore can't be serious. If she starts training soon, well we'll have a great asset not just to the Order, but also to wizard-kind. Besides, others started before her. My own brother is fighting," Bishop debated. Lily perked up at the mention of the Order.

" Give her this year; one last year of freedom and being a child. Train her, guide her, teach her so she won't become a lost hero. I'll convince Albus that she is ready at the start of the next school year," Professor McGonagall bargained.

" There are others. Some of the seventh years speak about the Prewitts and McKinnons," Bishop added.

" They can wait until they are of a proper age. Once they are seventeen Albus has agreed to let them fight, if they are willing," Professor McGonagall pointed out.

" Minerva we are living in a war. Our parents created this war and it's our responsibility to fight it. It's their birthright to fight," Bishop countered.

" They are children, not soldiers. I can't see another generation go to the battlefield and watch them die one by one," Professor McGonagall exclaimed.

" Its not the same, they have to end this war, I know they will," Bishop proclaimed.

" And what if they don't," Professor McGonagall questioned.

" Then we will fall to chaos and we won't be able to get up," Bishop finished. Lily pulled away from the door. She stood and ran from the sight. Lily knew they were talking about her and it scared her that people had so much faith in her. She wasn't ready for it.

" I've heard about the Order. Before my dad was killed, he used to talk about it with my mum," Frank said. The nine Gryffindors were sitting by the Black Lake studying together. Frank and Alice leaned against each other and shared a Charms textbook. Emmeline and Adam sat across from them spread out on a blanket reading from a DADA book. The Prewitt twins were leaning against a large oak tree with separate essays in their hands. Marlene sat next to Fabian and shared a Potions book with Lily. Benjy sat on Gideon's other side playing a game of exploding snaps with him.

It was a warm Friday evening and Lily had just shared her experience the past Tuesday.

" But why would Dumbledore start this group? There are Aurors for a reason," Alice countered.

" Alice use that brain of yours. The Ministry's all corrupt my dad says that at least one-third of them are death eater supporters," Adam responded.

"Dumbledore must have noticed that this would happen. He's been fighting with the Order for who knows how long," Fabian agreed.

" Are all the Professor in on it," Benjy questioned.

" No I don't think so. Lily mentioned McGonagall and Shacklebolt, but both of them are close to Dumbledore. I highly doubt that Slughorn would be eager to jump into a battle," Emmeline said.

" How did Shacklebolt get into the Transfiguration room anyways," Gideon questioned.

" I dunno. He must have hid somewhere. Maybe he used a cloaking spell," Lily said.

" I've got an idea of how. Adam remember last spring when we were in Essex," Marlene said.

" You're a genius Marlee. This silver thing came up to our dad. It was a Patronus, it talked to him and then Dad left saying he had to get groceries," Adam explained.

" So this Order group is using the Patronus charm to communicate. That's clever," Alice said.

" Its more than clever, its brilliant. I wouldn't be surprised if Dumbledore was the one who came up with the idea in the first place," Frank prompted.

" But what's the correlation. Dumbledore had aurors in on it. He's got Professors and old students. Maybe even current students. And he had some of your parents in on it," Lily questioned.

" Maybe he's asking people interested in fighting the death eaters," Emmeline suggested.

" That's obvious. But why did he let those people join and not us. Some of the sixth years here are of age. Lily said that he won't let anyone in unless they're of age," Benjy countered.

Lily mulled this over. All of the 6th year Gryffindors were more than eager to fight. So why wouldn't Dumbledore let them?

" He could be waiting until you graduate or until the end of 6th year," Gideon suggested. The others merely nodded unsure of this.

" I can't believe Wood! I know we made our feelings about him being a man-whore clear, but I thought he would've caved and come back to us by now," Benjy grumbled.

Lily looked over to where Michael was. Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw girls surrounded him. He caught Lily's stare and smirked.

" I heard the Marauders grumbling about him stealing their fangirls," Marlene offered. Lily heard Fabian scoff.

" That's typical of them. Look at Potter and Black they're practically assaulting those girls," Fabian sneered. Lily looked across the lake and gasped.

The Marauders were surrounded by their usual horde of fangirls, but it looked a little smaller. Potter and Black were harassing a group of Hufflepuffs.

" I'm going to stop them," Lily exclaimed. She got up and held her wand in her left hand. None of the other Gryffindors joined her. She walked through groups of students and reached the Marauders.

Up close was worse than far away. Lily could see Remus tutoring a few Hufflepuffs to the side. He occasionally glanced at his friends with concern in his eyes. Jason stood with Potter and Black as they tormented a Hufflepuff girl.

" Oi Prongs whores like Weber don't deserve wands," Black chuckled. Lily watched the crowd around the Marauders laugh.

A reedy Hufflepuff girl stood looking at the ground in between Black and Potter. Lil could see tears streaming down her face. The girl's wand was a few feet away from her; it was broken in two pieces.

Rage and fury filled Lily. Those arses broke a witch's wand. There was nothing crueller a person could do to a witch. Lily stormed through the crowd, with her wand extended.

" Don't you have any dignity? How could you break her wand, that was too far," Lily shouted. The Marauders looked up at her. Remus had a sympathetic twinkle in his eyes, but he turned back to the girl he was tutoring. Jason stared at her; his face was pale. Black had a smirk stretched across his face. Potter looked at he with anger.

Lily moved in front of the girl and held her wand out. She stared Potter and Black down.

" Evans this isn't your fight. If you move, maybe we'll consider sparring you," Black sneered.

" What did she do to deserve this," Lily questioned.

" She got in our way. Weber here is a no good whore. She tried to trick us so we had to teach her a lesson," Jason answered. Lily stared at him in shock. His left hand curled around his wand. Black looked at him proudly.

" Now Evans I think you should mind your own business. Mudbloods like you should grovel at my feet," Potter said. Lily felt her heart tear. She was so stupid. She was just like the bimbos that followed the Marauders around. How could she think that Potter had even a sense of humanity?

" Well Evans if you're not going to move, I'll have to do something about that. Levicorpus," Potter shouted. Lily watched as a jet of yellow light streamed towards her. She couldn't move.

" Protego," a voice shouted. Lily saw a shield appear in front of her. It ricocheted the spell off her. Lily watched it hit one of the Marauder's fangirls. She floated to the sky holding her skirt down.

Lily turned to the where the spell caster was. She gasped in shock.

" What are you doing Wood," Lily questioned coldly. She watched Michael walk over to her. The crowd parted like the ocean.

" I'm doing what I should have done back at the Lake. I should have accepted you Lily. What you did wasn't cowardly it was brave, braver than anything I could ever do," Michael announced. Lily smiled a weak grin and he walked to her.

" Wood is there a problem here," Black questioned. Michael grinned.

" Yes there is Black. You need to apologize to these girls and pay for Weber's new wand," Michael announced. The crowd started whispering and staring at him.

" Now why would I do that," Black said with a cruel smile. Lily saw Jason raise his wand at Michael. A nonverbal spell slinked towards Michael who didn't see it.

" Salvio Hexia," Lily shouted. She jumped in front of Michael and watched her hex hit the spell. It disintegrated.

" Why are you helping Wood? He ditched you, he doesn't even like who you are," Jason shouted. Lily glared at him.

"When a good person does something bad it doesn't make them bad, their still good they just have to acknowledge what they did," Lily answered. She could see Remus Lupin's lips twitch into a smile.

" We gave you a chance to leave Evans now you and Wood are going to pay," Black growled.

Lily turned to the girl behind her. She was a mess of tears and puffy eyes.

" Go. You don't have a wand, go and get a teacher any teacher," Lily ordered. The girl nodded and ran as fast as she could.

" That's cute Evans but you're not a martyr," Potter said. Lily turned to Michael.

" I'll get Potter you get Gastor. And we'll both work on Black," Lily said to him. He nodded and stood to her back. Lily held her wand in front of her and looked up at the castle. She hoped that Weber was getting a professor.

" Don't do this Black. You're on probation," Michael said. Black smirked.

" Wood my dad's on the board. I could probably massacre the Hufflepuff house and not get expelled," Black grinned. Lily shot him a glare.

" Rictumsempra," Jason shouted. Lily watched Michael dodge the spell.

" Stupefy," he yelled. Jason dodged the spell and glared at Michael.

" Expelliarmus," Potter shouted. Lily glared at him and narrowly avoided the spell. She noticed that the Marauders were using safer spells than they had during the Hogsmeade incident.

" Calvario," Black shouted. Lily noted his spell rolling her eyes. A hair falling out spell would only stop him or Potter.

" Protego," she shouted. The spell bounced off the shield and hit a tree. The few leaves growing on the tree immediately fell off.

" Cantis," Michael shouted. Jason sidestepped the spell. Lily could see Professor McGonagall and Weber coming out of the castle. She sighed with relief.

" Colloshoo," Potter shouted. Lily felt her feet stick to the ground. She didn't bother trying to move them.

"Anteoculatia," Lily shouted. The spell fired from her wand and hit Potter in the chest. He flew back. When Potter stood Black and Jason broke into laughter.

" What are you laughing at," Potter questioned. Lily bit her lip to keep a grin from crossing her face.

" Prongs you have prongs," Remus shouted. Lily watched Potter touch the huge antlers that had sprung form his head. He cracked a grin before turning to Lily.

"You'll pay for that Evans," he shouted. Lily paled as she watched him twirl his wand in his hands.

" She will Mr. Potter as will you," Professor McGonagall announced. Lily turned and felt relieved.

" Never I have seen a group of students behave so childishly. Twenty points from Slytherin for each of you individually. So eighty in total. Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin and Mr. Gastor you will have a week of detention. Mr. Black I will alert your parents of this, and you are expected to apologize to Ms. Weber and provide her with a new wand," Professor McGonagall ordered.

" Professor, Remus wasn't apart of this duel," Jason protested. Professor McGonagall glared at him.

" I highly doubt that Mr. Gastor," she sniffed. Lily stepped forward as Potter's jinx had warn off.

" No he didn't fight. Remus didn't do anything," Lily argued. The Marauders turned to her in shock.

" Well I can believe you Miss Evans. Mr. Lupin you are relieved of your detentions and point deduction. But Mr. Wood and Miss Evans you will be punished," Professor McGonagall announced.

Remus shot Lily a thankful smile and she smiled back at him. Michael began to protest but Professor McGonagall cut him off.

" No buts Mr. Wood. You two should have for help immediately. If it wasn't for Miss Weber and a group of several Gryffindors we could have had a repeat of the Hogsmeade incident. Twenty points will be deducted from Gryffindor and the two of you will have detention next saturday as will the others," Professor McGonagall ordered.

" But Professor that's a Hogsmeade visit," Potter protested. McGonagall's eyes flashed with anger.

" Enough. One more word out of any of you, and I will extend the detention until the end of the year," McGonagall finished. Lily watched her walk away with Black and Weber.

The other Marauders took one last glance at her and Michael before walking past them.

" Lily don't trust Wood," Jason whispered in her ear as he walked past her. Lily glanced at him and nodded. He slumped with relief and followed his friends into the castle.

" Lily oh sweet merlin! Are you all right? Do we need to take her to Pomfrey," Marlene questioned. She ran to Lily and engulfed her in a hug. The other Gryffindors surrounded her and the crowd following the Marauders dispersed.

" We went straight to McGonagall when we saw wands drawn. Weber was crying on her shoulder and couldn't speak. We explained everything to her and she stormed out here," Frank announced.

Lily nodded looked at Michael. He stood on the fringe of the group. Lily didn't forgive him for what he did, but she hoped that one day she could. She waved her friends on and when they left to the Great Hall for dinner she walked over to Michael.

" Thank you," Lily said. Michael turned and looked at her in shock.

" If you didn't cast that shield charm or duel with me I dunno what would have happened," Lily explained. Michael's face softened.

" Lily I'm sorry. I did the one thing I vowed not to do. I judge you on your blood not who you are," Michael said.

" I can't forgive you, not yet. What you did was so wrong. It wasn't right to abandon not only me but all of your friends," Lily answered. A glimmer of pain formed in Michael's eyes.

" I can respect that Lily," he answered. Lily only nodded. She watched him walk away from the Lake, but she stayed.

Lily sat by the grass near the lake and reveled in the silence. She knew that staying in England would be a battle every single day, but she was willing to fight everyday.

" Mr. Black you will be writing lines today in the Charms classroom with Professor Flickwick. Mr. Gastor and Mr. Wood you two will be cleaning cauldrons with Professor Slughorn. Miss Evans you and Mr. Potter will be scrubbing the a dungeon classroom," Professor McGonagall ordered.

Lily followed her out the classroom and waited as she escorted the others to their detentions. Potter didn't say anything and she refused to. Lily was angry. If Potter and his gang of arrogant twats hadn't been so cruel then none of this would have happened.

" Miss Evans your wand please," Professor McGonagall questioned. Lily took her wand out of her pocket and handed it to her. She and Potter walked in the room and she heard the door lock behind them.

Flashback ends

Lily could feel Potter's chest against hers. It pressed against her and she gulped. Potter was looking at her with a maniacal grin. He twirled a strand of her hair around his finger. Lily shivered; she remembered Potter doing the same thing to her back in February.

" So Evans why is it that whenever my friends and I feel the need to entertain not only ourselves but others you interrupt," Potter drawled. Lily looked up and had a stubborn edge to her tone.

" Potter, harassing and assaulting people isn't entertainment. It isn't funny, or cool. In fact it's sadistic," Lily answered. Potter moved closer to her. She could feel his legs planted in between hers.

" I dunno Evans, most people seem to think it is," Potter stated. Lily could feel his hot breath against her cheek and turned. She faced the wall behind him.

" Potter you and your gang of bullying toe rags may find it amusing but other people don't. They tolerate from fear, but I won't be afraid of you. Your just as bad as that bastard you call a master," Lily shot back.

Potter eyes flashed and he let go of her hair. He grabbed her pale chin and pulled it up to his face. Lily couldn't look anywhere else.

" Don't speak about the dark lord that way. Evans if you haven't noticed people prefer me over you," Potter answered. Lily looked down and saw the writhing tattoo of the death eaters on his arm.

" You should cover that arm Potter, wouldn't want anyone to know your little secret," Lily sneered. Potter glanced at his arm and chuckled.

" It's not a secret Evans. Dumbledore knows, the school board knows. I'm proud to be a death eater. Mudbloods like you and your dirty parents deserve hell," Potter spat.

" You're so touchy about muggles. It's personal isn't it," Lily jeered. Potter stared at her and licked his lips.

" Muggles are the reminder that we can't control magic. It's magic that controls us. Magic is my life Evans, I would be nothing without it. One day I could wake up and discover that I can't do magic anymore, and that scares the fuck out of me," Potter answered.

" You shouldn't think that way Potter. Magic isn't a wild beast; it's us. We're magic Potter and the minute you realize that you're going to regret all the killing and horrors you've done," Lily answered.

She looked at the clock and shoved her body out of Potter's hold. He stared at her as she stood. Lily walked over to the door and tried to open it; it opened.

" See Potter, if we try hard enough we don't even need wands to perform magic. Wands only enhance our magic. Magic relies on people like you and me to even exist," Lily said. Potter stared at her in shock.

Lily took one last glance at him before walking out the door.

* * *

**A reviewer commented on the age if Lily and her friends. To start, most of them are sixteen or seventeen. War is a force of nature, it doesn't care for age or innocence. It destroys and ravages. What is happening to these characters develops them, it takes their innocence too early.**

**The relationship with the Gastor siblings is complicated, like most sibling relationships. I made the brothers to each represent a part of Severus Snape when I realized that he didn't fit in my story, for now. Like all siblings, they have their ups and downs. Lily may have denounced her relation to them but the bond of family often rips a persons heart over and over. Lily gets along with them and they want her to accept who she is. But ****most**** of them aren't going to force or blackmail her. They're family and family is dysfunctional at its core.**

**I've started another writing piece called Amare. For now it contains one-shots and drabbles. I'm hoping to add some scenes that I removed from Confingo to it.**

**I would like to thank every person whose reviewed Confingo and read it. Thanks for the 1,000 views!**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	5. Rain, Rain, Go Away

**Chapter 5 Rain, Rain, Go Away**

**( Burning Down the House )**

* * *

" Starting today we've decided to switch prefect patrolling partners. Eliza and I would like to remind everyone to go back to their common rooms as soon as patrol is over," Lucian announced.

Lily looked up at this comment. She was sitting next to Alice at the weekly prefect meeting. Many of the prefect stared at Lucian in shock.

" You've got to be kidding. We just got used to our patrol partner and now you want us to switch again," Jason said. Many of the other prefects made noises of agreement. Even Lily nodded.

" Enough! We're all civil people here there's no need to get upset over a change in partners. Eliza has posted the route by the door; take a look before you leave. Any prefect who doesn't show up for patrol is risking their badge," Lucian ordered. Silence fell over the prefects.

Lily could see why Dumbledore had made Lucian headboy. Unlike the other Slytherins he didn't ignore taunt muggleborns or ignore half bloods. He greeted some with light smiles. Lucian was also a natural leader, but all Gastors had that gene.

" You're all dismissed," Lucian announced. Lily walked with Alice to the door. The prefects were crowded around the sign.

" I've got Amelia Bones from Hufflepuff, didn't get a chance to see who you had," Jason whispered in Lily's ear. She nodded and watched as the prefects slowly moved away from the door.

Lily scanned the list for her name she found it. Lily's heart plummeted when she saw who was her partner. She walked over to Lucian and tapped his shoulder.

" I thought the point of the inter house patrol was for inter-house unity," Lily said with pursed lips. Lucian stood up and smirked.

"In order for there to be inter-house unity there has to be house unity. Dumbledore noticed the distinct lack of unity between the upper years," Lucian responded.

" So pairing me with Kingsley Shacklebolt is supposed to fix that," Lily demanded.

" You're a stubborn girl. If anyone's going to get Shacklebolt and the other seventh year Gryffindors to open up it'll be you," Lucian replied with a grin.

Lily sighed and said good-bye, she wasn't ready for patrol tonight. Alice waited outside for her.

" I've got Cassius Gastor; Frank's with some Hufflepuff fifth year. Benjy's partnered with David Chang from Ravenclaw," Alice announced. Lily nodded and walked to the Gryffindor Tower with her.

" I'm patrolling with Kinglsey Shacklebolt tonight," Lily announced. Alice froze and turned to her.

" Oh. That's interesting," Alice managed to say. Lily remained silent and walked with Alice into the Common Room. She could see the green grounds for the first time since she came to Hogwarts. She saw their friends sitting near the fireplace.

She walked over and squeezed between Marlene and Michael. Lily was happy that Michael had apologized to the other Gryffindors and they accepted. But that didn't mean she was ready to forgive him yet.

" They can't be serious. Why would the Wizengamot even consider that," Gideon exclaimed. Lily turned to him.

" Consider what," she questioned. The other Gryffindors wore morose expressions from their seats. She, Michael, and Marlene sat in the couch. Fabian leaned against Marlene's armrest while reading a letter. Alice and Frank sat across from them, sharing a seat. Emmeline and Adam were sprawled out of front of the fireplace facing the others. Benjy and Gideon sat on opposite one-seat sofas.

" My uncle wrote to me. He's informed me that Orion Black has proposed a new rule for Hogwarts," Adam answered.

" They're actually considering it! That's what annoys me the most," Marlene exclaimed. Lily turned to her irritated.

" Do you want to share it with me Marlee," Lily questioned.

" Some purists have proposed a new law. They want to segregate muggleborns here. They're planning on forcing the muggleborns to leave and go to some school in London that they've made," Benjy answered. Lily understood why the others were so upset. But this law was ridiculous; no one would support it.

" Come on guys no sane person will support it," Lily scoffed. The other Gryffindors didn't look up.

" It has support from over twenty percent of the Wizengamot," Fabian revealed. Lily was shocked; how could so many people agree with this law.

" It' okay Lils. They can't get it made into a law unless the Minister of Magic agrees. There's no way Bagnold will," Alice reassured. Lily wanted to believe her, she wanted to hope but it was so hard.

Lily stood outside of the Gryffindor Common Room waiting for Kinglsey to show up. He was five minutes late and Lily was considering leaving without him.

" Sorry about that! Dirk had a homework emergency," a deep voice apologized. Lily turned around and relaxed when she saw the honey brown eyes of Kingsley Shacklebolt. He was standing near the portrait of the fat lady with his robe thrown hastily on.

Lily was reminded of his brother when she saw him. But there was something different. Bishop carried himself carefully; as though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Kinglsey walked gracefully. Lily imagined that Bishop once walked that way.

"It's fine do you want to split up. It'll make patrol faster," Lily suggested. Kinglsey crosses his arms and his lips twitched.

" No it's safer to do this in pairs," he answered. Lily nodded and he walked next to her. They quickly ambled down the stairs and reached the dungeon; their patrol assignment.

" Let's start near the Hufflepuff dorms. If they're going to sneak out after curfew they would only do so close to the start," Lily advised. Kingsley only nodded and they crossed the dungeon. Lily could feel heat come off the walls. She had never been to this part of the castle before. Usually she and Jason would patrol the 7th or 5th floor. And Professor Slughorn's room was across the floor, closer to the Slytherin Common Room.

She and Kinglsey patrolled in silence for the first thirty minutes. After being assured that no Hufflepuffs were lurking outside of their Common Room, they crossed the dungeon and headed closer to the Slytherin Common Room.

Lily noticed that Kinglsey had pulled his wand out and held it by his side. She copied him and glided across the dungeon.

Lily observed that it was colder here. She wondered how the Slytherins survived in the winter. Suddenly she heard whispers coming from down the hall. Kingsley grabbed her and shoved her against the wall. He covered her with his body and muttered a spell.

Lily felt as though an egg had been cracked above her head. But instead of being covered in the egg, she was invisible. Lily looked at her arms in shock and turned to Kingsley.

" Shacklebolt are you mad? We're supposed to confront people who've left their common rooms after curfew; not hide from them," Lily reprehended. Kinglsey flashed her a glare that silenced her. Lily turned and looked around Kingsley's arm. She saw a group of three 6th year Slytherins crossing the hallway.

" Mulciber," Kingsley muttered. Lily recognized two of the three. She could make out Dolohov and Yaxley but she didn't know whom the third was. She assumed that he was Mulciber. When the group came closer to Lily she could hear their conversation.

" I heard Rosier got the mark. His dad took him hunting in France; hunting for muggles that is," Yaxley joked.

" What are you going to do for your mark? I had to help with that attack before break started. The one where those damn Order bastards showed up," Mulciber questioned.

Lily felt Kinglsey's grip tighten around her when the boys mentioned the Order.

" I dunno. My dad wants me to help out with the surprise the Dark Lord has planned for June," Dolohov replied. Lily's eyes glinted with curiosity. The three Slytherins continued their walk down the hall. When they disappeared from view, Kinglsey let go of Lily for a split second.

His eyes flashed with fear and he shoved her against the wall again. Lily groaned when her back hit the stone wall but he shushed her. She held her breath as three boys walked around the corner.

Lily blinked when she saw her brothers. Lucian was supposed to be patrolling. So why was he walking with Cassius and Jason.

" Evan got the mark last month. Our numbers are rising. There are about seven confirmed death eaters in my year," Lucian announced. Lily's stomach twisted when he said this.

" Yaxley, Dolohov and Mulciber are the only ones left in my year. But they're such idiots I don't know if they'll actually contribute anything," Cassius responded.

" It doesn't matter. Right now we need numbers, later people will be groveling to join," Lucian said. Lily noticed that Jason remained silent.

" What about you Jace," Cassius questioned. Jason looked up.

" Remus is the only one left. I'm not too sure if he wants to join though," Jason muttered.

" Lupin will join if he wants his secret to remain a secret. What about Potter and Black," Lucian questioned.

" James has been one since last year. Sirius was more than eager to get the mark. I think that Regulus, the little Black, wants in too," Jason answered.

" Good if he's anything like Sirius than he will be a great asset," Cassius said. Jason looked directly at Lily and she froze. She held her breath and her lungs protested until Jason turned.

" What the Gryffindors in your year? Longbottom and the Prewitts," Lucian questioned.

" Are you daft? Their parents were in the battle that got mum and dad sent to Mungos. I wouldn't be surprised if Longbottom and the Prewitts already joined the Order," Jason scoffed. Lily felt her heart clench. What battle? Her parents had dragon pox?

She held her breath and saw them walk around the corner. Kinglsey didn't let go of her until five minutes past. Lily slumped against the wall when he did.

" Come on let's see where they're going," he suggested. Lily caught her breath and nodded. She tightened her grip on her wand and followed Kinglsey out the hallway. She jumped at every movement or noise, but Kinglsey pressed forward.

He stopped in front of a dungeon room. Lily could hear muffled voices inside of it. Even though they were invisible they couldn't enter the room without drawing attention to the door. Lily stared at it in frustration.

" We'll have to wait until someone goes in," she said. Kinglsey pursed his lips and watched the door. She turned and watched the hallway. Lily heard a loud laugh and nudged Kinglsey. He turned and they waited for the voice to appear.

" Moony thank Merlin you decided to come today," a voice proclaimed. Lily froze when she saw the physique of James Potter walk into view. Next to him were Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. Lily waited by the door and held her wand out.

" Prongs, I'm only coming to see what your little group does," Remus replied. Lily could see Sirius glance at him in shock.

" Moony serving the Dark Lord is an honor that not all people get the chance to have," Sirius exclaimed. Lily glanced at Kinglsey. He was stiff and held his wand out. Lily turned to the Marauders and watched them walk up to the door. She moved directly behind James Potter.

" Let's go in guys. The meeting has already started," Potter announced. He opened the door and walked in. Lily quickly followed him in. Fear raced through her. What if the spell wore off? She saw that they were in an abandoned classroom. All the desks were pushed back to back and lined the middle of the room. Chairs stood next to them. Some were occupied.

Lily shuffled to the wall facing the arrangement. She looked up and felt relieved. Kinglsey was standing next to her.

" Lily stay silent don't speak," he commanded. Lily nodded and looked at the table. She almost gasped when she saw who was sitting at the head of the table.

" Now that all of us are here I can call this meeting to begin," Lucian Gastor announced with a stern face. Lily saw that her brothers sat on either sides of him. The Marauders followed Jason and that led to some lower purebloods.

" I would like to announce that Evan Rosier passed his test last month. During the most recent Hogsmeade trip he was branded with the dark mark. We welcome him to our numbers," Lucian began.

Some death eaters clapped and cheered at this. Evan stood with a smirk and sat down. When silence fell over the group Lucian continued.

" This year is it. Every person in this room must complete their test this year. We've got about seven of you who haven't taken the test yet. When I leave next year I need to have assurance that more students will continue to fight the disease that are muggles and mudbloods," Lucian announced.

Lily stared at him in disgust. What happened to her brothers? What changed? She knew that her parents didn't like muggles or muggleborns but how did her brothers end up like this?

" As all of you know, the Wizengamot's verdict will soon fall to our views. We have one problem; Bagnold. If she doesn't agree with the proposed law then it gets shut down," Lucian proclaimed.

Uneasy whispers broke out through the table. A sixth year Slytherin that Lily had seen speaking to Cassius stood.

" What is going to be done," the boy questioned. Before Lucian could reply someone else did.

" Well for now that's confidential information. But there is a plan for dealing with Bagnold," James Potter announced. Lily noticed that he had an aurora of leadership.

" How would you know that Potter. You're just a sixteen year old. You're not even of age yet," a boy questioned. Lily saw something flash in Potter's eyes.

" MacNair if I were you I would show some respect. Are you forgetting who I am? Are you forgetting who my family is," Potter coolly announced. The boy squeaked out an apology that Potter brushed away.

" Good. Now this meeting is over," Potter said darkly. Lily watched death eaters scramble out of the room. She wondered why Potter wasn't leader.

" It brings me relief to known that I'm leaving this group in good hands," Lucian said. Lily looked up and saw that the room was empty. Kinglsey was inching towards the door and she followed.

" My brothers are not cut out for this. Cassius will provide knowledge to the dark lord, but he is not a leader. The other sixth years, well I wouldn't trust them with my cloak. Jason isn't ready for this. He could have been better and stronger but he is too innocent. You're the best for taking over this group," Lucian said.

" I will do so with pride. The Gastor family doesn't need to be leaders you've already got them. Its better for you to have more influence this way," Potter responded with a smirk. Lucian smiled and walked with him towards the door.

" How is your father doing," Lucian questioned with a concerned look. Lily followed Kinglsey out the room but listened to the conversation.

" The healers don't know. They're estimating a few weeks," James muttered with a scowl.

" I'm sorry. My family knows what it's like to lose a parent more than anyone else," Lucian responded. James licked his lips and looked up.

" Do they know what it's like to lose a sibling," James questioned with a dark grin. Lily gasped Potter turned his head in her direction. She quickly followed Kinglsey out before they could say anything else.

Kinglsey didn't speak. They walked in silence up to the seventh floor. Lily knew that their patrol was long over and looked behind her shoulder for any other prefects.

When they reached the hallway where the Gryffindor Common Room was Kingsley stopped and turned to her.

" Do you understand how bad our situation is," he questioned. Lily gulped and nodded.

" Good. My brother and Professor Dumbledore think that I can trust you. They believe that this will prepare you for what is coming," Kinglsey said.

" I don't understand. What's going on," Lily asked. Kinglsey wore a bitter smile and replied.

" Lily Evans we are in a war, that's what is happening," Kinglsey announced. Lily watched him walk in the opposite direction of the Gryffindor Tower, but she had a feeling that he was heading to the Headmaster's tower.

Lily felt so out of control. There were too many secrets and they were getting caught in her web of lies.

" Yesterday we reviewed the fire spell. The incantation is Incendio. Now we will go in pairs to the grounds to practice it," Professor Sprout announced. Lily's eyes immediately went to Jason. His eyes were looking at her with a gleam. He was laughing. Lily seethed. Only he could laugh at something like this.

Lily winced remembering his powerful fire spell. It had taken so much out of her to fight it. She remembered the horrible meeting that Kinglsey had dragged her to. It happened a week ago but Lily still had nightmares about Potter's angry hazel eyes.

She hadn't spoken to Potter since their detention together. She heard about the wild birthday party the Marauders had thrown for him in the Slytherin Common Room. But she couldn't go to it, not that she wanted to.

Lily looked over at James. She didn't know why though. She wanted to hate him and avoid him, but for some reason she couldn't. She had all of her classes with him, he watched her at Quidditch practice, and he was in her dreams.

Lily hated this so much but there was nothing she could do. Lily turned to Benjy and held her wand out.

" You know the counter spell right," Lily questioned. Benjy nodded and she raised her wand.

" Incendio," Lily shouted. She felt a tug at her arm and watched as fire shot out from her wand. It twisted and swirled. Professor Sprout nodded at her.

" Ten points to Gryffindor. Good charm work Miss Evans," she announced. Lily blushed and switched places with Benjy.

" Of course Evans would know that spell. I mean look at her hair, it looks like its on fire," Black sneered. Lily ducked her head and heard her class laugh in amusement.

" I don't see you doing the spell Black," Lily shot back. Sirius wore an entertained smirk and turned to Remus.

" Incendio," he shouted. Flames burst from his wand, but he couldn't control them. Lily watched in horror as the flames crept towards a Hufflepuff.

" Aqua Erecto," a voice shouted before Lily could do anything. She turned and shot Michael a smile of appreciation. He smiled but aimed his wand at the dying flames.

" Good job Mr. Wood, twenty points to Gryffindor. Mr. Black try to have a little control. Ten points from Slytherin," Professor Sprout announced. Lily smiled and heard the bell ring.

She went inside the Greenhouse and grabbed her bag. Marlene walked over to her and they joined Benjy and Michael.

" Nice work Michael," Marlene offered. Michael smiled and led the way to the castle. Lily looked to the ground and sighed. Spring was in full bloom.

The sun sat high in the sky with puffy clouds surrounding it. Tree had bushy leaves and birds flew across the blue sky. Lily could smell a rich pine scent from the forest.

She walked with the Gryffindors to the third floor. Lily listened to Michael and Marlene ramble about the upcoming match against Hufflepuff. She was a bit worried herself; Amos Diggory was a great seeker and would give her a stiff competition.

" Slytherin's already last. If we beat Hufflepuff then they'll play Hufflepuff. Diggory has harnessed talent, but Black is raw. So it's going to be us and Ravenclaw for the house cup," Michael declared. Lily nodded. She was willing to be friends with him, but she wasn't ready for anything else.

She walked with the other 5th year Gryffindors to the DADA room. When they reached it, Lily and Marlene took their seats in the middle row. Michael and Benjy sat next to them and they pulled out their textbooks.

The class started to fill up and Lily heard the bell ring. Bishop Shacklebolt entered the room and walked to the front of the room.

Lily was having a hard time being around him. She kept remembering that patrol with Kinglsey. Instead of breaking in on death eater meetings, Kingsley quizzed her on spells she knew. Lily didn't know why he was helping her, but she had a feeling it had something to do with his brother and Professor Dumbledore.

" Good afternoon class. OWLS are two months away. I know that your other teachers have kept loads of homework on your backs, so I am not giving any homework tonight," Bishop announced. Cheers broke through the students. Even Lily cracked a tired grin.

She spent time in the library with Remus Lupin working on homework ever Saturday. Lily didn't know what he told his friends, but they never talked to her about it. During the weekdays, Lily would do her homework either with Marlene or with assistance from the 6th years.

" However, you will be having a cumulative test on everything we have covered so far next Monday," he finished. Students stared at him with blank eyes and he chuckled.

Lily looked to the row above her and saw that Remus was looking at her. She mouthed for him to meet her in the library and he nodded. This exchange went unnoticed by the other Marauders who were playing a game of exploding snaps under their desks.

" Mr. Gastor please put those snaps away. Now today we will be covering something interesting. Usually this subject is only covered in NEWT DADA, but due to recent events Professor Dumbledore and I decided to cover it this year. Today we will start a week-long lesson on the three unforgivable curses," Bishop announced.

Lily watched Jason shove the exploding snaps into his bag. She looked to the front of the room with interest when Bishop mentioned the unforgivable curses.

" In 1717 three curses were declared Unforgivable by the Ministry of Magic. Can anyone name one of these," Bishop questioned. Lily knew that most people would be reluctant to talk about the curses; even she was reluctant.

" Yes Mr. Black," Bishop announced. Lily turned to Sirius Black and saw him sitting in the chair above Marlene's with his feet kicked up.

" The Imperius Curse," Black said. Bishop nodded and gestured to a box on his desk. He took his wand out and opened the box. A small bird fluttered out of the box.

" Imperio," he shouted. Lily watched as a rainbow shot out of his wand and landed on the bird's head. Lily watched in horrified fascination as Bishop moved his wand the bird did too.

" The Imperius Curse is a curse that gives the castor control of the victim. If you look closely, the victim's eyes will appear milky. The incantation for this spell is Imperio," Bishop announced.

" Can anyone else name another Unforgivable," Bishop questioned. Lily bit her lip and watched James Potter throw his long arm into the air.

" Mr. Potter," Bishop acknowledged. James smirked and looked down at Lily. She could feel his hazel eyes boring into her neck.

" The Cruciatus Curse," James drawled. Bishop nodded and motioned his wand towards the bird.

" Crucio," he said. Lily watched as a flash of bright red light hit the bird's chest. The bird fell to the floor of the classroom, chirping in pain. Lily could see Benjy turning slightly green to her right.

Michael paled and grabbed Lily's hand. She could see horror etched on his face. Lily remembered Marlene telling her that death eaters had killed Michael's parents. She wondered if they tortured them with the Cruciatus Curse.

" The Cuciatus Curse is a curse that sends unimaginable pain on its victim. The type of pain varies from person to person. A colleague of mine likes to refer to the spell as creating its victim's own personal hell," Bishop announced. Lily watched him wave his wand and the bird was relieved of the pain.

" Now can anyone tell me the third spell," Bishop announced. Every student remained silent. Bishop turned to Lily. His deep mahagony eyes bored into her green eyes.

" Miss Evans," he said. Lily blushed and felt eyes travel to her. She opened her mouth and spoke of the worst spell of them all.

" The Killing Curse," Lily responded. Her mouth was dry and her lips cracked.

Bishop nodded and pointed his wand at the bird. He seemed hesitant in his movements but stood his ground.

" Avada Kedavra," he shouted. The entire class flinched as an unholy twist of neon green light hit the bird. It fell to the floor in a lifeless slump.

" The Killing Curse is the worst of the three. To kill someone takes a part of your soul. It breaks you. The incantation is Avada Kedavra. The performance of any of the unforgivable spells merits a trip straight to Azkaban," Bishop finished. Something tugged on Lily's soul when she saw that spell. It was something unnatural.

" Game day boys," Michael announced. He clapped Gideon and Fabian on the back and sat in between them. Lily turned away from him and took a sip of her tea. The night before had been horrible.

She had Quidditch practice from the end of her last class until dinner. Directly after dinner she had patrol with Kinglsey. Kinglsey had badgered her about her Patronus Charm for at least an hour. In the end she yelled at him revealing that the Patronus Charm was the one spell she couldn't master. After listening to his apologies, Lily trudged up the stairs to the Girls' Dorm. She then finished three essays and prepared a review binder for her History of Magic OWL. Lily slept at around three in the morning.

To top it off she had horrible nightmares all night. Lily shivered when she remembered images of a mask figure and a flash of green. She assured herself that it was just the aftermath from the DADA lesson the previous week on the unforgivable. But she really wasn't sure.

Lily sighed and grabbed a slice of toast. But before she could take a bite, Michael had grabbed her and shoved the rest of the Gryffindor team to the Quidditch Pitch. Lily laced her gear on and ignored the strategy conversation the other members of the team were having.

She felt horrible and didn't' know why. But Lily couldn't go to the hospital wing. She cursed Michael for not considering having a back up seeker. Lily sighed and fell into the line up with the other members of the team.

When Lily heard David Chang announce her name she flew into a storm. Rain fell like bullets to the ground. She internally thanked Marlene for braiding her ponytail that morning. When the game began Lily shot into the sky. She watched the game and Amos Diggory for about an hour.

Due to the storm, Amos Diggory's usually suaveness with the snitch had all but disappeared. He looked like a fool, bumping into other players. Lily could hear the shouts of disapproval from the Slytherin Stands. Bitter losers, she thought.

Lily had a killer headache now. She tried ignoring it, but it fell on her like the rain. But Lily couldn't end the game; she had to wait for Michael's go ahead.

Rain poured down in unholy amounts. Lily flew past a hufflepuff in annoyance. This game was taking a bit of time, she thought.

" Longbottom scores! 150-50 in favor of Gryffindor," David Chang announces. Lily saw Amos Diggory flying towards something eagerly. She skirted around a bludger and flew towards him. Damnit he was feinting. Lily heard yelling from the Gryffindor Hoops and turned.

" Lily go after the snitch," Michael yelled. Lily nodded and zoomed upward. She circled the pitch and caught sight of the snitch.

" Looks like Evans has seen the snitch," Chang yells. Lily gritted her teeth and flew towards the golden ball. She watched it tease her and fly upward straight into a huge storm cloud.

Lily gulped when she saw a flash of lightening inside of the cloud. She gritted her teeth and flew upwards, straight into the storm. Lily couldn't see anything but furious raindrops. They pelted against her body and socked though her uniform. Lily flew through the cloud and jumped when she saw a jagged curve of violet.

Lightening, Lily thought. She skirted around the purple lights and hunted for the snitch. Lily saw a flash of gold and flew towards it. She could see the rain beating down on the playful snitch's wings. Lily leaned forward and reached out. She could feel the snitch's wings tickling her fingertips.

Right as her fingers curled around the snitch Lily felt something hit her. She screamed and felt her body slip off the broom. Someone had shot a spell into the cloud; and it had hit Lily.

She could feel her body falling. Wind and raindrops slapped her cheeks. Lily held the snitch tightly and refused to let go. She saw the Quidditch Pitch below her and heard shouts of shock. But she couldn't do anything. He robes flew around her like wings; but Lily wasn't a bird.

" Lily," a voice shouted. Lily felt hands grab at her robes but slip from them. She fell and fell. Lily could see the grass ground racing at her. She was going to die. Lily Evans, oh screw it Lily Gastor was going to die.

Lily didn't close her eyes as the ground came at her. She wanted to face death head on, not cower with fear. Lily breathed in and waited for her body to slam into the ground; but it didn't happen.

When Lily hit the ground it was soft. Soft enough to cushion her fall. She tumbled on the grass and bounced. Someone had shot a cushioning charm at the ground before she hit it.

" Is she alive," David Chang's voice echoed through the pitch. Lily blinked and cautiously stood. She raised the snitch in her hand up to the stands. Cheers and shouts broke through the stadium.

" Evans lives! Gryffindor wins," David Chang announced. Lily felt someone grab her and hug her.

" Lils I though you were going to die! Michael grabbed your robes but it was so wet that they slipped through his fingers," Marlene moaned. Lily turned in Marlene's embrace and saw the other members of the Gryffindor team around her. She could see people rushing from the stands and down to the pitch.

" Lily here, I caught your broom," Frank announced. Lily smiled and swayed. Her headache was back. She leaned over and felt the concerned eyes of her teammates.

" Lily are you alright," a voice shouted. Lily saw blackness swirl into her vision. Her heart thumped against her chest. She could feel her veins pumping with blood. Lily tried to stand but couldn't. A pair of hands grabbed her and pulled her up.

She looked across the pitch and met a pair of eyes. Right before Lily blacked out, she met a pair of hazel eyes, concerned hazel eyes.

The sun was out; but it was dimmed. Wherever Lily was seemed like a faded childhood memory. She could see fuzzy edges to wherever she looked. She looked at her surroundings unable to identify where she was. It was somewhere but it wasn't anywhere. Suddenly the location broadened and Lily knew where she was. She was in the pureblood cemetery in Godric's Hallow.

She felt something tug at her. Lily looked down and saw that she was wearing a green dress. Her hair was longer and straighter; it reminded her of her mum. Lily followed where the tugging sensation moved her. All of the tombstones where there but she couldn't read who they belonged to.

Lily followed the tug and tried to stop when she stood in front of the entrance to the cemetery of the Holy Seven. She tried to run but she couldn't. Her legs pulled her into the cemetery. Lily ended up in the Gastor area of the cemetery. She looked at the tombstones; she could read these.

Lily saw her parents' tombs and walked towards them. She stood in front of them. But there was something to either side of them. Lily gasped at what she saw. Surrounding her parents' tombstones were two graves on either sides. Lily leaned down but couldn't read whom they belonged to.

" It's pointless to try that," a voice chuckled. Lily recognized the deep tone with the light accent. She turned and gaped at the man in front of her.

He could have been Apollo. He had a long body with chiseled features. His skin was a rich tan that held no blemishes. His hair was a mess of curls and looked like threaded gold. But it was his eyes that gave him away; they were the liquid gold orbs that five people Lily knew had.

" Dad," Lily whispered. The man grinned and walked over to Lily. He stood two feet in front of her and straightened his back.

" Lily you've grown," William Gastor said. Lily nodded and turned to the graves.

" Where am I," she asked.

" You're nowhere my daughter," he responded. Lily wrinkled her nose, frustrated with his response. William Gastor turned to her and laughed.

" Your mother does the same thing. You look so much like her," he said. Lily bitterly crossed her arms.

" I really couldn't care," Lily answered. Her father pursed his lips and looked to the horizon.

" I know you don't. Lily you can't hide from who you are. You're a Gastor not a muggleborn," her dad announced.

" I'm not a Gastor, not anymore. Gastors are prejudice and cruel," Lily muttered.

" I got the chance to apologize for your banishment," her father mused. Lily's eyes flashed in rage.

" Then why did you do it," Lily demanded.

" It's for the better that you don't know. My daughter you must find closure for what happened in the past. You're clinging to bitter memories and this is preventing you from accepting yourself," William Gastor stated.

" I've made closure with my past. I ha this whole dramatic internal rant in France and got my closure," Lily shot back.

" That's not closer Lily, that was merely the start. You need to find out what really happened, accept it and find closure," William Gastor answered.

" How about if I don't want to get closure," Lily questioned. Her dad turned to her and held her shoulders.

" Don't be scared my child. You're scared to accept who you are. But don't be," he murmured. Lily nodded and turned to the tombstones.

" Whose are those," Lily questioned. Her dad shrugged.

" Even I do not know that. They could be your brothers, or you or even your descendants. Lily the future is not something to try to unravel," her father answered.

" I hated you and mum for what you did to me," Lily said. Her father's eyes twinkled with light pain.

" You still hate us. Lily you need to know the truth, but only when you are ready. You know where the answers lay my daughter," William Gastor announced. Lily could see the edges of her vision blur again.

" Don't leave," she begged. Her father embraced her and let go.

" I was never here to start. Remember to stay strong and be you my daughter," William Gastor proclaimed.

Lily watched him disappear and her world disappear. She could feel herself waking and relaxed.

When Lily opened her eyes she was in a familiar room, the hospital wing. Lily turned and saw that it was dark. Small lights were lit around each occupied bed. But as far as Lily could tell there were only two occupied beds. A long body occupied the bed across the room.

Curiosity ate at her and Lily cautiously removed her body from the bed. She tucked her feet into the slippers by the bed and crept towards the other body. She could barely see the long arms and sinewy legs of the person.

Lily grabbed the light by the bed and pulled it closer to her. She jumped with shock when she saw who was in the bed.

" Remus," Lily whispered. She stared in horror at Remus Lupin's body. It was so pale, almost translucent. His limbs were covered in long gashes. Lily could see that his breathing was ragged. She put the light back where she found it and sat by Remus's bed.

She held his hand in hers and watched him breathe. Lily never noticed that Remus had long eyelashes. They tickled his cheekbones and the bags under his eyes.

" Miss Evans what are you doing out of bed," a voice scolded. Lily looked up and saw Madame Pomfrey standing over her. She blushed and stood.

" What happened to Remus," Lily whispered. Madame Pomfrey turned to said boy and her face softened.

" That is Mr. Lupin's secret. Now Miss Evans please return to your bed. You may leave tomorrow, well really today morning," Madame Pomfrey ordered. Lily reluctantly let go of Remus's hand and crossed the room.

She slipped into her bed and sleep engulfed her. For the first time in months Lily didn't dream. Dreamless sleep potions usually didn't do anything to prevent her nightmares, but Lily didn't wonder why the nightmares didn't come. Instead she enjoyed the restful sleep.

When Lily woke the sun hit her. She wrinkled her nose with annoyance and begrudgingly lifted her covers. She could hear a conversation across the room, but ignored it. Lily saw that a set of her clothing and robes was left next to her wand on the nightstand. A note was placed on top of the pile. Lily picked it up.

_Lils,_

_Madame Pomfrey kicked us out of the hospital wing. She practically forced us to go to the after party in the common room. We won! Michael is already strategizing for the final game in May. Alice and Emmeline brought a change of clothing for you; they expected that you didn't want to leave the Hospital Wing in a hospital gown. Madame P told us that you're being let out in the morning. Hope you get better Lils!_

_Love,_

_Marlene and the other Gryffindors_

Lily smiled at the way Marlene signed off the letter. Marlene had a penmanship that made Lily grin. She grabbed her clothing and slid her bra on under her gown. Lily tugged on a pair of jeans and shoes. She undid her gown and began to slide her shirt over her head, and then she heard a hiss of pain.

Lily looked up and saw James Potter standing near the edge of her bed. His eyes were staring at the one scar remaining from the duel in Hogsmeade. Lily turned to him annoyed.

" Potter what the hell! Didn't your parents teach you not to peep on girls who are changing," Lily scolded. Potter looked up and a blush reached the tip of his ears. Lily ignored him and quickly slid the shirt on. Potter moved closer and Lily backed up. She was pressed against the wall with Potter less than a foot in front of her. He reached for her waist and pulled her closer. Lily squirmed against him as he lifted her shirt and studied the scar on her torso.

" Potter what are you doing? I'm pretty sure this counts as statuary rape," Lily groaned. James kept his hand near her scar and looked up. Lily stopped moving when she saw the open pain and regret in his eyes.

" I thought Pomfrey gave you a potion for the cuts," he murmured. Lily could feel his hand drumming against her waist and shivered. How did Potter know about her treatment?

" Why would you care Potter? I didn't even think that you would remember that," Lily sneered. Potter pulled her closer and she had to look up.

" Memories always have a way of coming back to us," he murmured in her ear. Lily paused and answered his first question.

" She did. The other five cuts healed, this one is taking a bit more time," Lily answered. She saw pain in Potter's eyes.

" I'm sorry. Sirius was being a git, sometimes he doesn't realize where the limit is," he choked. Lily held his eyes and saw the swirls of gold and green in his hazel eyes.

" Oi Prongs! Moony is ready to go," a voice announced. But Lily didn't hear the voice she tuned it out and focused on the tune James was tapping against her hipbone. He stared at her with an unreadable expression in his eyes.

" Prongs let's go," a voice shouted. Lily looked over Potter's shoulder and saw Sirius Black walking towards them. She realized what was happening and shoved Potter off her.

" What are you doing with Evans," Black questioned. Potter turned and raised a hand to ruffle his hair.

" I'm just checking to see if Pomfrey was sure that Evans didn't gain any brain damage. She didn't though, Evans is still the annoying bint she usually is," Potter announced with a smirk.

Black laughed and Potter left with him. Lily crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the wall. Potter was such an arrogant pig! How dare he trick her into thinking that he actually had feelings!

Lily grabbed her belongings and said goodbye to Madame Pomfrey. She turned and saw the Marauders speaking in low whispers around Remus Lupin's bed. Lily ignored them and headed off to the Great Hall.

Her features softened when she saw the other Gryffindors. They were sitting in the middle of the table laughing at some story that Gideon was telling. Lily crossed the Great Hall and walked over to them. Marlene leaped up and started coddling Lily.

" Lils are you alright? What happened," Marlene queried. She pushed Lily to the seat next to her and Lily sat down. The other Gryffindors turned to her.

" Pomfrey said it was shock from the fall," Lily answered. She grabbed a bowl of strawberries and started eating before they could question her again.

" Frank gave me your broom it's up in the dorms," Alice announced. Lily thanked her with a light grin. But something was bothering her. She felt the familiar prickles of someone staring at her and turned. Potter was analyzing her and Lily froze.

Pieces of their last interaction fell together. His comment about memories, they way he looked at her… Lily gasped when she remembered the tune he was drumming against her hipbone. It was the melody of the song they danced to at the Christmas Ball.

" According to your palm, you will marry and have hordes of little ginger monsters," Marlene announced. Lily pulled her hand from Marlene's grip in shock.

" Marlee you do realize that I'm not a ginger," Lily answered. Marlene shot her a grin.

" Maybe you'll end up with a Prewitt, they've got the ginger gene," Marlene mused.

"No offense Marlene but if either of us ends up with a Prewitt it'll be you," Lily replied. Marlene grimaced and glanced at Fabian who was debating with Frank about a DADA homework question. Lily watched Marlene's eyes relax as she looked at Fabian.

The Gryffindors were working in the library. It was a rainy Thursday evening and they wanted to get their weekend homework out-of-the-way. Gideon and Michael had pushed two tables together to accommodate all of their work. Lily glanced at Marlene who wore a worried expression.

" My turn," Lily announced with a smile. Marlene grinned and gave Lily her hand. Lily studied it and glanced at her textbook.

" Your palm is telling me that you will have enough ginger babies to have your own Quidditch team," Lily joked. Marlene smiled and Adam looked at her.

" If anyone is going to have enough kids for a Quidditch team it'll be Michael. He'll name his kids after Quidditch positions, I'm sure of it," Adam teased. Michael glared at him.

" First of all, Fabian and I have it all planned out. He's going to have a horde of ginger fiends with Marlee and they will be called Prewitt United. I'm going to have my Woodby Arrows," Michael sniffed. Lily broke into peals of laughter and elbowed Marlene.

" I told you," she managed to get out. Marlene shoved her and Lily gasped for air.

" Oh shut up Evans. For all we know it'll be Gideon with the Prewitt United," Marlene muttered. Madame Pince walked over and shushed them. For a few minutes the group worked in silence.

" Are any of you staying for the Easter Break," Alice questioned. Lily looked up and Adam answered.

" Emmy and I are staying at the McKinnon town house in London with my parents. We're celebrating not having OWLS," Adam teased.

" Well I'm not going home. I don't need mum harassing me to jump Black and give him dozens of little gray-eyed monsters," Marlene grumbled. Lily shot her a reassuring look.

" I guess I'll stay and keep Marlene company. Hey Marlee we can be study buddies," Benjy teased. Marlene grimaced.

" On second thought, mum's badgering isn't as bad as Benjy's study schedule," Marlene replied. The other Gryffindors chuckled.

" Don't worry Benjy I'm staying. If I don't start studying for OWLS soon I'm going to fail," Michael responded.

" I'm taking Alice to visit my mum in Liverpool. I'll probably regret it though, mum's been going on about how Alice should leave me and find a real man," Frank said.

" I just love your mother so much," Alice joked.

" Gid and I are going home. Puddlemere and the Arrows are interested in us. We're going to go and check out the teams," Fabian said. Lily nodded; they were excellent beaters.

" What about you Lils. What are you going to do," Emmeline questioned from her perch on Adam's armrest.

Lily mulled this over. She could stay at Hogwarts and prepare for OWLS. Or she could start searching for answers to her questions. She didn't even need to stay with her brothers since she had the town house Darcy Auclair left to her.

" I guess I'll go home. I've got some things to do with the inheritance my dad left me," Lily answered. The others nodded and Marlene turned to her.

" Where do you live? Maybe we could meet up during break," Marlene asked. Lily looked up from her charms homework.

" London. Owl me, we can meet up in Diagon Alley," Lily suggested. Marlene nodded and turned to her homework. They left right before dinner started with cramps in their hands but no homework to do.

" Remember to practice over break. We've got only four weeks until the final game against Ravenclaw," Michael badgered. All of the 5th and 6th year Gryffindors were at the train station in Hogsmeade. The Hogwarts Express gleamed a brilliant red.

" Calm down Wood! We practiced over the weekend and on Friday for seven hours," Marlene scolded. Lily nodded and turned to Benjy.

" We should get going. The train's going to leave soon," Lily announced. She enveloped Benjy is a short hug and did the same to Michael.

" Have fun studying," she suggested. Marlene lifted her bags into the train and the two followed the other Gryffindors into a compartment.

Frank and Adam grabbed Marlene's bags and hoisted them up into the overhead compartments. Lily sat in between Gideon and Emmeline. She could see Michael and Benjy outside waving to them. Lily felt the train start with a lurch and watched Michael and Benjy walk towards the castle.

" Lily why don't you have any luggage," Alice questioned curiously. Lily tapped her bracelet.

" There's an expandable charm on my bracelet; infinite space and no weight. I picked it up in the French equivalent of Diagon Alley," Lily answered. Her response satisfied the other Gryffindors. One by one they started to doze off. Lily woke up startled from a nightmare. She rubbed her eyes and looked around the compartment.

Lily looked at her friends. They looked worn and tired, but that came with the war. Frank and Alice were curled up against each other wearing peaceful expressions. Emmeline moved to Adam's lap earlier and rested her head on the window. Fabian had his head against Marlene's should and she was resting on his. Gideon leaned on the wall next to him. Lily quietly rose from the compartment.

She opened the door and shut it softly. Lily walked through the narrow hallway and peered out the window. The Scottish countryside blurred into a haze of green and blue.

" Lily what are you doing here," a voice asked. Lily turned and saw Lucian leaning on the door of a compartment. She looked at him warily. Lily remembered the meeting she and Kinglsey spied on and backup.

" What does it look like," Lily answered. Lucian snorted at her.

" If you're going home you should have at least informed either Pericles or Julius," Lucian scolded. Pretentious git, Lily thought.

" I'm not going to the Gastor Manor," Lily shot back. Lucian raised a brow and smirked.

" So you're planning on staying with one of your blood traitor friends," he assumed. Lily gritted her teeth and rolled her eyes.

" No and don't call them that," Lily answered. Lucian grinned and Lily shuffled back.

" But's that's what they are," Lucian argued.

" If they're blood traitors then so am I," Lily stubbornly proclaimed. Lucian found this amusing and stood straight he walked over to Lily.

" It's amusing to watch you fight what your blood is. Lily no matter what you do, you'll always be a pureblood. Your little disguise will fall apart from all the lies you've told. One way or another you will be forced to accept who you are," Lucian pronounced. Lily shoved him away.

" I'm staying in my townhouse. You know the one Darcy Auclair left for me in his will. Now could you kindly get your disgusting hands off me," Lily ordered.

" It's almost too easy to manipulate you," Lucian chuckled. Lily watched him slink inside of a compartment and disappear from view.

She leaned against the cool wall of the trying to catch her breath. Lily hated the way her brothers knew her so well. She covered every hole in her walls. But they could rip the walls apart with a simple statement.

" Lily what are you doing out here," a voice called. Lily looked behind her and sagged with relief; it was Emmeline.

" I went to the loo, I'll be right in," Lily called out. She stood and quickly walked to the compartment with the other Gryffindors. For half an hour she sat in between Gideon and Emmeline but she couldn't settle in.

Lucian had crept under her walls and she couldn't think. While the others were debating about the upcoming World Cup Lily slid out of the compartment for some fresh air.

She walked to the last train car and stood on the small balcony at the back. Lily drummed her fingers against the railing and admired the countryside around her. The sun sat low in the sky, and Lily knew that they would arrive at King's Cross soon.

Lily didn't want to go back to London. She wanted to stay curled up in the castle. She wanted to avoid the world, but she couldn't. Lily knew what she had to do but she was scared. If she started this there was no going back.

" So why are you out here," A voice questioned from the doorway. Lily turned and saw Marlene walking over to her. The back of the train was meant for one person so it was a bit of a squeeze.

" I couldn't think in that compartment," Lily answered. Marlene made a noise of agreement. She pulled out a cigarette box from her pocket.

" I didn't know you smoked," Lily admitted with a wry grin. Marlene pulled a lighter from her back pocket.

" That's because I don't. Want one," Marlene answered. Lily shook her head and watched Marlene skillfully light one. She brought it to her lips in a long curve and took a drag. Lily watched her exhale puff of steamy black smog. Marlene twisted the cigarette in between two of her painted fingers. Lily could see flashes of turquoise on Marlene's fingers.

" When did you start," Lily questioned. Marlene took another drag.

" Last summer. It was the day Dorcas found out her parents died," Marlene revealed.

" Last summer was when we lost so much. I think we became adults then. It was when my parents told me about Black," Marlene said.

" Does he want to be with you," Lily asked. Marlene raised an eyebrow. Lily noticed that Marlene was elegant in an untypical way. She had a tall and graceful body. Her hair was let out and fell in light waves around her mid back. She always had a deep glint in her electric blue eyes. Marlene was the type of girl who could be wearing a Holy-Head Harpies T-shirt and ripped jeans while smoking a muggle cigarette and look chic.

" Black was the one who got me to smoke. He's like a cigarette, seems fun for a while but he's poison," Marlene answered. Lily saw something in her change she was slumped and regretful when speaking about Sirius.

" I think that we all poisonous. But we only affect certain people. My nightshade is another man's bezoar," Lily mused.

" Black could be poisonous to others, but may be he's your antidote," Lily finished.

" I've gotten a taste of Black, it almost killed me," Marlene responded. She tapped the cigarette against the railing and let smoke fall out of her mouth.

" What's going on with you and Fabian," Lily questioned. Marlene frowned and took a drag.

" Nothing and it's going to stay that way. Fabian can never be my prince charming, he can only be my Romeo. But I won't let him," Marlene answered. Lily watched her crush the cigarette under her foot.

" I'm going inside, Alice wanted some gossip. Are you coming," Marlene asked. Lily nodded and followed Marlene inside of the train.

" You guys better write to me. Alice and my mum are going to be the death of me," Frank grumbled on the Platform. Lily laughed and gave him a hug.

" I'm starting to doubt that your mum's really that bad," Lily admitted ruefully.

" Lily she's a tyrant. Augusta Longbottom is the ultimate pureblood wife," Frank muttered. Lily laughed and watched him and Alice walk over to a middle age woman who engulfed Alice in a hug and scolded Frank.

" Adam I can see your parents," Emmeline announced. Lily embraced them and watched them walk over to a tall couple.

"Aren't you going Marlee," Lily questioned. Marlene nodded and gave Lily a hug.

" You better owl me," she threatened. Lily nodded and watched Marlene reluctantly walk over to her parents.

" Lils do you want us to side along you to your home," Fabian offered. Lily turned to the Prewitt twins and smiled.

" No it's fine. I live nearby and I think you would scare the neighbors," Lily said. She gave each brother a one handed embrace.

" I'll see you next Monday," Lily said. She watched the Prewitt twins apparate with a pop. Lily walked over to a bench and tapped her bracelet. She pulled out some muggle pound bills and tucked them into the pocket of her jeans.

" Lucian told me that you aren't coming to the manor," a voice said. Lily looked up and saw Jason standing over her.

" I've got to check out the townhouse Uncle Darcy left to me Jace," Lily admitted. Jason nodded.

" Where is it," Jason questioned. Lily racked her head for the location of the house.

" It's in London, the borough of Islington. I believe the name of the street is Grimmauld Place," Lily answered. Jason grinned.

" What number," he pressed. Lily huffed with irritation. She glared up at Jason.

" Seven," she answered. Jason smiled and Lily stood. She brushed some dirt off her jeans.

" Lily you'll always have a place in the Gastor Manor," Jason said. Lily nodded and turned to him.

" I know, but it's not right for me to stay there Jace," Lily finished. She looked around and quickly embraced Jason.

" I'm going to miss living with you down the hall," Lily said. Jason smirked.

" Just owl me, I'll be over in a flash to get rid of the monsters," he countered. Lily nodded and watched the platform empty.

" How are you getting home," Lily questioned. Jason looked up.

" I'm not going home. James got a letter from Mungos so he left school early. They don't know how much time Mr. Potter has left. Sirius's father is letting James stay at his house since it's closer to St. Mungos then James's house in West Country. Remus and I are staying with them for moral support," Jason responded.

" That's awfully kind of him," Lily admitted. Jason nodded he looked at Lily's neck and smiled.

" Your concealment charm wore off," he admitted. Lily looked down and saw a silver star-shaped birthmark in the hollow of her collarbone.

" It's okay there aren't any nearby wizards in Islington," Lily admitted. Jason only grinned. He lifted his left hand and Lily saw the silver birthmark in the center of his hand.

" Just to be safe little sister," he said. Jason took his wand out and quickly applied a concealment charm to Lily's collarbone. She thanked him and he waved it off.

" I'm only six months younger than you," Lily said. Jason nodded.

" Six months is an awful long time," he responded. Lily pursed her lips and nodded.

Lily looked around the platform and saw that it was mostly emptied. A few families conversing with each other remained. She could see the other Marauders waiting for Jason. They spoke in a hushed conversation.

" What do your friends think is happening between us," Lily asked. Jason smirked.

" They think that you're having sex with me," he teased. Lily blushed and hit his shoulder. Jason laughed a deep echoing chuckle.

" No I used a Marauder's secret. We each get one," Jason admitted. Lily thanked him and turned.

" I should get going. Uncle Darcy's got this insane neat freak house elf that will probably start to injure itself. If I show up an hour later than I instructed," Lily admitted. Jason nodded. Lily gave him one last hug and walked out of the train station.

Lily walked into the muggle part of the station and quickly walked to the sidewalk. Lily knew that it was risky to use a broom in places like Islington, as there was a large muggle population. She berated herself for recklessly flying in central London at nighttime.

Lily hailed a taxi and got aboard. She internally thanked Uncle Darcy for feeling the need to expose her to the muggle world. Lily relaxed and waited for the taxi to arrive at Grimmauld Place.

She thought about her first step. Lily knew that in order to discover what really happened to her parents she would need to go to St. Mungos. She mulled over a plan for getting inside of the hospital.

" Miss, we're here," the driver announced. Lily blushed and handed him the money.

" Keep the change," she instructed. Lily quickly slid out of the cab and watched it drive away. She could see the sun starting to set and turned. Grimmauld place was a row of identical townhouses. It was for wealthier muggles. Lily walked over to the town house in between five and six.

It was just like she remembered it. Lilies and roses grew in all of the window boxes. Unlike other wizards, the Auclairs didn't enchant their house to stay hidden. The Auclair townhouse was muggle on the outside.

Lily walked up the stone stairs and opened the door. She sold most of the thing inside, unable to keep thing that reminded her of the Auclair family. All of the heirlooms were moved to the manor in France. She had quickly bought new furniture for the house using her money from the inheritance.

A floral scent hit her when she entered the house. She loved the open areas and white walls of the house. Lily heard a pop and saw a clean house elf dressed in a new tea cozy. The house elf was from a family of elves that served the Auclair family. Lily tried to free the Auclair elves but they were too depressed at the idea of freedom. Instead she offered to pay each, which they begrudging agreed to.

" Mistress has arrived! Daisy is happy to serve to Mistress," the house elf announced.

" Hi daisy, I see that you've arranged the furniture. It looks spectacular," Lily answered. The house elf beamed.

" Daisy is pleased! Daisy has prepared dinner for Mistress Lily," the elf proclaimed.

" Daisy we've been over this, call me Lily, I'm not your owner," Lily answered. The house elf nodded.

" Thanks. I'm going to freshen up and then have dinner, you are welcomed to do what you want," Lily said. The house elf smiled at her and popped out of the room.

Lily walked through the lower floor exploring it. Memories opened in her mind. She used to have play dates with Benjy here. The townhouse was bought by Darcy's parents as a wedding present for him and his new wife. It was cozy and not sprawling like most pureblood houses.

The Auclair Manor in England had been destroyed in a fire before Lily's birth. It was one of the few other wizard homes in Northwest England. Most wizards lived in West Country or near London. A few preferred Wales, but the Gastor family was the only member of the Holy Seven not to have a house in West Country.

Lily remembered her mum telling her that there was a movement to spread pureblood properties widely across England. A few agreed and the Gastors were a new family back then.

During the present day only ten pureblood families lived outside of West Country. Out of those ten, three lived in Wales, three in Ireland, three in Scotland, and one in England outside of West Country.

Living away from other pureblood families had helped seclude Lily from others. She knew that at one point those families knew about her but a quick wide-spread confundus charm from her father had fixed that,

Lily climbed the soft, carpeted stars and reached the second floor. The house had two floors due to the high ceilings of it. The first had a kitchen, dining room, living room, restroom, and library. Lily had already bought new books to fill the library. The second held two restrooms and three bedrooms. There was a small cupboard by the staircase, but that was for storage.

Lily used two of the bedrooms as guest rooms. She took the master bedroom. Lily entered the room and looked around. The walls were her favorite dull gold and the floor was carpeted with a soft silver hue. The room was somewhat identical to the one she used in the Auclair Manor, except that this one had a balcony in the back.

Lily quickly unpacked and showered. She changed into a pair of yoga pants and a Puddlemere T-shirt. Lily left her hair wet and went to the Balcony. She opened the door and slid out to it.

Grimmauld Place was set up with half of the houses facing the opposite way. The houses were technically back-to-back, but the Auclairs used magic to make it possible for a balcony to exist.

The back of the house was covered in ivy that curled up to the edge of the balcony. It was the size of a large carpet with railings around all the sides. The railings had flowerpots built-in and magical plants grew inside of them. A chair was suspended in the air with a chain attaching it to the wall of the house. A small table sat by it. Lily moved to the edge of the balcony and pulled her wand of out her hemline of her pants.

She wondered if she could do magic here. It was once owned by an of-age wizard so she wondered in the Ministry had kept the wards alerting them of under-age magic up yet. Lily twirled the wand around her fingers and bit her lip.

All the other times she performed under-age magic outside of Hogwarts had been deemed emergencies, in the property of legal wizards or witches, or near an of-age one. Lily decided that one letter from the Ministry wouldn't matter that much.

Lily turned to the flowers growing inside of the balcony. They were night lilies, the flower of her mother's family. Since they had been recently planted, the flowers were still seedlings. Lily took her wand and aimed it at them.

" Herbivicus," Lily whispered. A friendly grassy green light curled around the flowers. Lily watched the flowers bloom and the scent hit her. She waited for a few minutes and smiled when an owl from the Ministry didn't show up. Lily tucked her wand inside of her pocket and looked up.

The moon was waning in the sky, Lily though she was lucky to even see it with all the clouds. She gently tapped the petals of the flowers and watched the flowers open. They twirled towards her as they bloomed. Lily smiled and felt at peace.

She heard a pop and looked up. Lily didn't notice that a balcony was across from her own, one that must have belonged to a Wizarding family. Surprise entered her eyes when she saw a pair of familiar stormy grey eyes. Lily instinctively reached for her wand.

" Evans what are you doing here," Sirius Black questioned. Lily could see him holding a bottle of fire whiskey with the cork in one hand. That must have been the popping sound, she thought. The balcony he was on had ivy similar to the one growing on Lily's. Roses grew from the ivy. No flowers were on the balcony. It held four foldable chairs and a table. Sirius was leaning on the railing with the fire whiskey in his hands.

The door to the balcony was open and Lily could see a bedroom. She assumed it was Sirius's due to the hints of masculinity coming from it. It made sense for it to be his room since the Black townhouse didn't have the same high ceilings that the Auclair townhouse had. It was on the third floor of the house.

" I happen to live here Black," Lily replied. She held her wand by her side waiting for Sirius to jump over the four-foot gap between the balconies and attack her.

" I've never seen you around before. I'm pretty sure that the house you're in belongs to wizards," Sirius said raising his eyebrows. Lily felt a lie burst out on the tip of her tongue.

" It used to. They sold it and moved to Southern France. My dad bought it thinking that he was coming to England and would live with me here. He never got the chance though, he was killed in a death eater attack in France," Lily said stiffly.

Sirius took a swing of his fire whiskey and looked at her. She could see two other empty bottles near him.

" That sucks. Do you live with your mum," he asked. Lily gulped and licked her lips.

" No she died a while ago," Lily admitted. Sirius looked up and gazed into her eyes.

" I would say I'm sorry, but I really couldn't care less. Muggles are like fish, you flush them straight down the drain when they die and buy a new one," Sirius answered.

" No wonder Marlene hates you so much. Your personality is shite," Lily scoffed. Sirius clenched his hands and stood. He towered over her even from a distance.

" What did McKinnon say about me," he questioned. Lily could see a cold, deadly stare in his eyes. She slowly backed up to the door. Before she could do anything though Sirius raised his wand from his pocket.

" Colloportus," Sirius lazily said. Lily grabbed the doorknob, but it wouldn't move.

" Don't try an unlocking spell, it'll only work if I do it," Sirius said. Lily turned around and grabbed her wand.

" Black I'm not scared to hex you," Lily threatened. Sirius looked at her with an amused stare.

" Evans I think I know worse hexes than you do," Sirius said. Lily glowered at him and tightened her grip around her wand.

" So Evans what's going on between you and Jason," Sirius questioned. Lily looked at him and he held an aloof gaze in his drunken eyes.

"Nothing that is any of your business," Lily answered. Sirius grinned at her and placed his fire whiskey down.

" Any Marauder's business is all the Marauders' business," Sirius answered. Lily rolled her eyes and moved her hair from around her shoulder.

" Besides I need to make sure that Jason isn't getting feeling for a mudblood," Sirius said with a smug grin. Lily looked at him in disgust. Why were all the Marauders under the impression that something was going on between her and her bloody brother?

" Is that how you get all of those bimbos to sleep with you. Insult them a couple of times and they fall madly in love," Lily sneered.

" No usually I send them one of my heart-breaking smiles and they turn into mindless slaves," Sirius answered cheekily. Lily was reminded of Jason when she saw the curve of Black's smile. They influence each other, she thought.

" The other day I got out of bed to get a contraceptive potion because the stupid bint I was fucking forgot one," Sirius started.

" I really don't need to know that," Lily said with a disgusted expression. Black grinned at her with a twinkle in his grey eyes.

" Actually you do. So I was grabbing the potion from the box we leave in our dorm and happened to walk by Prong's bed. To start it was just him in it. Well that's been the norm lately, he won't take girls back to the dorm, usually fucks them in broom closets now," Sirius continued.

Lily felt something in her stomach when Black mentioned James sleeping with girls. She realized with disbelief that it was jealousy, not that Potter was a man-whore but that those girls were sleeping with him.

" Anyways so I walked by his bed and saw it was only him in it. That's not what surprised me. What surprised me is that I heard him saying someone's name in his sleep over and over. Well he wasn't saying the name of some random pureblood whore; no he was literally purring Lily over and over again. Guess what Evans, you're the only Lily he knows," Sirius finished.

Lily knew that shock was openly displayed on her eyes. She felt it bloom in her heart and get pumped to every cell in her body.

" He could have a flower fetish," Lily weakly suggested. Sirius gazed at her amused.

" I though the same thing, until he started muttering about red hair and bloody green eyes. Evans you are the only Lily with red hair and green eyes that he knows," Sirius countered with a smug grin.

Lily's mouth was dry. Potter couldn't like her; he hated her everything about her. She decided to play it off.

" He's probably dreaming about tormenting me," Lily muttered. She knew there was a crimson-colored blush on her face and cursed her body.

" Let's hope so. I don't want my best friend's heart to get broken by some mudblood," Sirius answered. Lily pursed her lips.

" Black can you open my door now," Lily asked. Sirius stared at her mockingly.

" I don't know Evans, I could just leave you there until break's over. I told you I would make you pay for what happened in Hogsmeade," Sirius answered with a cruel smirk. He waved to Lily and gave her a mocking bow as he walked over to his door.

" Not so fast Black. Colloportus," Lily exclaimed. Her wand shot a speedy bolt of yellow at the door to his balcony. He tried to open it but it refused to. Black let out a stream of curses.

" To quote you Black; don't try an unlocking spell, it'll only work if I do it," Lily jeered with a set jaw. Sirius turned to her and she almost felt fear enter her. A pure maniacal chaotic gleam rested in his eyes. Lily took a step back. But the look of pure chaos faded from his face, it was replaced by a smug smile.

" Fine, I guess we're stuck here until one of us decides to open the door," Sirius answered. Lily pursed her lips and went over to the cushioned seat hanging from the ceiling. She curled up in the seat and watched Black lounge in one of the chairs on his balcony. He kicked his feet up and smirked at her.

" Why don't you just jump over your balcony and throttle me," Lily asked with a frown. Sirius laughed at her.

" Prongs and I tried to jump over the balcony once. We were short-legged six-year-olds. Ended up in Mungos with broken legs and arms. After that my parents set up a charm that has an invisible shield around this balcony. It's about a foot outside of the railing. I dunno if your balcony has it," Sirius mused.

Lily got up at reached out She leaned up and got half her body outside of the balcony. She stretched up on her toes and tapped the railing of Sirius's balcony. He raised his brows and she cautiously leaned back to her balcony.

" So the force field keeps things in but not out," Sirius announced. Lily nodded and returned to her seat.

" Why do you lot have those stupid nicknames," Lily questioned.

" I'm afraid that's none of your business," Sirius said mockingly repeating her.

" I know Potter is Prongs. Lupin is Moony. You're Padfoot, right? But what's Jason's," Lily said.

" Correct Evans, it's nice to know that even you pay attention to us. Jason as a nickname, but we don't use it since we all owed his a Marauder's favor and he used that to keep his code name a top-secret," Sirius answered. Lily nodded and tapped a nearby flower. She watched it open up, and so did Sirius.

" That's and interesting trick," he said. Lily nodded and tapped a few other flowers. The scent hit her and she hummed with satisfaction.

" What does Marlene say about me," Sirius questioned. Lily was about to scoff at him but when she looked up she saw anguish and pain in his eyes.

" She doesn't like you. I'm pretty sure she hates you," Lily admitted. Sirius flinched but regained his demeanor.

" It doesn't matter if she hates me. By the time we leave Hogwarts I'll be controlling her life," Sirius said. Lily noticed that he was more speaking to himself then her.

" Black maybe if you actually treated her nicely then things would be different," Lily scolded. Sirius glared at her and silence fell over them. Lily looked up and admired the full moon.

"Prongs! Dammit the git isn't answering," Sirius exclaimed. Lily looked up at him and saw him speaking to a mirror. She raised an eyebrow and watched him.

" Sirius it's nearly midnight and I've spent the entire day at the hospital what do you want. Also I'm literally in the room across from you," an annoyed voice called out from the mirror. Lily recognized the deep voice as James Potter's.

" I just wanted you to see who's my new neighbor," Sirius said innocently. A mischievous sparkle rested in his eyes. Lily widened her eyes and motions for Sirius to stop.

" Padfoot I don't want to hear about you watching some bird shower," James said. Sirius chuckled.

" Don't worry I wouldn't want to watch this bird shower. I thought you may want to though, you sure do speak about her a lot," Sirius responded. Lily stood and leaned towards him.

" Black stop it! I will hex you," Lily hissed. Sirius watched her amused.

" I'll stop if you unlock my door," Sirius bartered. Lily rolled her eyes.

" Why should I? Then I'll be trapped out here without someone to annoy," Lily proclaimed.

" Padfoot who are you talking to," James exclaimed. Lily shot Sirius a pleading look.

" I'm turning the mirror," Sirius teases. Lily grabbed her wand.

" Fine we'll do the spell at the same time," Lily offered. Black nodded and grabbed his wand.

" Alohomora," Sirius and Lily said. Lily quickly went over to her door and held it open.

" It was great doing business with you Evans," Sirius said. Lily groaned when he said her name.

" Padfoot! Evans as in Lily Evans is your bloody new neighbor," James shouted. Lily flinched and Sirius shot her a sheepish grin.

" Take a look Prongs," Sirius announced. Lily watched in horror as Black flipped the mirror. She saw James Potter shirtless in a bedroom. He gazed at her and Lily blushed a crimson red.

" Black you are such a git," Lily seethed. She glared at Potter and walked into her room slamming the door behind her.

The last thing she heard was Black suggesting to Potter that they had to figure out how to get rid of the charm kept around his balcony.

Lily made sure to lock her door right before she crawled into the bed in the center of the room. She was enveloped by sleep positive that James Potter would be in her dreams.

Lily frowned at the Daily Profit. She was sitting in the dining room eating a bowl of pomegranates the next morning. She looked out the window and saw that the sun was just starting to rise. Lily scanned the article and put the paper down. There was another attack. A bridge had collapsed and killed ten muggles near Bristol.

Lily leaned back and drummed her fingers against the solid wood. She had sent Daisy to get some books and food for the house. Lily sighed and walked up to her bedroom. She walked into the bathroom and took a long bath. Lily was at a dead end.

She knew that the first thing she had to do was get in St. Mungos. That was the easy part. The tricky part was getting her parents' health records. Lily doubted that her parents had even gone into Mungos the night they died.

Lily decided that she would simply have to ask the people at Mungos who had access to those kinds of paper work. Lily smiled with determination and quickly got out of her bath. She slid into her clothing and exited the bathroom.

Lily shot a quick drying spell at her hair and heard a hoot. She turned and saw a large owl by her balcony. Lily opened the glass door and walked to the railing. She smiled at the owl and took the letter from its foot. Lily recognized the scrawled handwriting and ripped the envelope the letter was in. She leaned against the wall of the railing and pulled the letter out.

_To my best seeker ever (aka Lily Evans),_

_Save me… I've only got a few minutes to write this letter. Guess where I am? I'll tell you. I'm currently hiding in the girl's loo on the second floor. There is a bloody ghost in here flirting with me! Benjy is on a warpath. It's nonstop studying. He wakes up at four in the bloody morning and drags me to the library where we stay until it closes at ten in the night. He won't let me eat, sleep, or even use to loo. I only got out since I threatened to shite all over him. I know I wanted to study, but at the rate Benjy's going, I'll be dead before Thursday._

_Other than my impending death how's life? Where are you staying? I hope you're not staying with those shite-heads you call brothers. I hope you're practicing Quidditch, remember the final game in less than a month! Tell the same to Marlee, I don't have enough time to owl her._

_Hugs and kisses,_

_Your favorite devilish and handsome captain Michael Wood_

Lily bit her lip as she read the letter. She grinned at Michael's speedy scrawl. Lily knew that he was exaggerating what was happening. Benjy slept as long as he could; there was no way he would wake up at 4 am!

Lily smiled and looked up from the letter. Her drop dropped a little from what she saw. James Potter stood five feet away from her. He leaned against the railing of Sirius's balcony smirking at her. Rays of sunlight hit his hazel eyes. Lily could see gold swirls in them from this distance. But that wasn't what surprised her. What surprised her was that James was shirtless.

He wore a pair of loose sweatpants that hung on the edge of his hips. Lily blushed when she looked at his chest. It was tan and muscular; Quidditch practice had paid off.

" All right Evans," Potter teased. Lily looked up and blushed a brighter crimson. She watched Potter openly look at her body. Lily was such and idiot; why would she wear a fitted t-shirt top and tight jeans when Black was right next-door.

" Potter it's not courteous to stalk your host's neighbor," Lily sniffed. Potter's mouth stretched into an amused grin.

" I'm not one for standards Evans," Potter said. Lily could see a predatory gleam in his eyes and slowly backed up. She curled her fingers around her wand, ready to pull it out of her pocket.

A gust of wind blew against her and the letter flew out of her hand. Lily jumped up to get it, but the wind carried it away; straight into Potter's hand. Lily glared at him as he waved the letter mockingly at her.

" Potter that's not funny. Give me my letter," Lily ordered. Potter smirked and casually fell back in one of the chairs on Black's balcony.

" I think it's pretty funny. I wonder who writing to Evans," Potter mused with a devilish beam. Lily gulped and watched him open the letter up. A flash of pain shot through his eyes but it disappeared. Lily bit her lips when Potter looked up. A sneer rested on his face.

" Hugs and kisses! Bloody hell Evans! Wood has turned into some deranged love-struck arse," Potter mockingly teased. Lily gripped her wand and answered him.

" Potter what Michael and I talk about is none of your business," Lily scolded. Potter leaned up from his seat. Even from a distance of five feet, he towered over her. Lily watched him take out his wand and point it at the letter.

" Incendio," Potter said arrogantly. Lily watched in horror as the letter lit of fire and burned to ashes. Potter stared at her the entire time. Lily looked up at him furiously.

" Do you enjoy making my life a living hell," Lily huffed. Potter grinned at this.

" It's more of a hobby," Potter snickered. Lily shot him a glare before exiting the balcony. The door slammed behind her.

She was going to have to get some curtains for that bloody see-through door.

" Miss Evans I'm sorry but that is confidential information," a stout healer explained. Lily sat in a seat across from him with a frustrated expression. She had gone to Mungos ready to start her mystery the next day. She had researched so much and even found the healer who her parents had for the past decade.

" It's just that I'm writing this paper on the late Gastors and I wanted to include some information about Delphina Gastor's pregnancies," Lily pouted. The healer sighed and stood up.

" I'm sorry but the only people who can access those files are the children of Mr. and Mrs. Gastor. You could try contacted one of them and see if they will give you permission," the healer suggested. Lily sighed; this is what she didn't want. Her brothers couldn't know about what she was doing. They weren't idiots; they could put two and two together and figure out what she was doing.

" Thank you for your time Healer Connelly. I'll send a letter to one of them today," Lily lied. The healer smiled and escorted Lily to the reception of the hospital. Lily said goodbye and sat in one of the plush seats in the reception.

She felt so frustrated! Lily was a child of Mr. and Mrs. Gastor but she couldn't use that power the one time she needed to. Lily knew that confounded the healer or stealing those files were out of the question. She needed to decide which brother to help her.

Jason was immediately out. He would blab to Julius or Lucian. Cassius may work, but Lily didn't know where he was. Locating him could take days; and Lily did not have that time. Asking Lucian or Julius for help would come with a cost; and Lily wasn't in the mood for one of their games.

" Lily what are you doing here," a deep voice questioned. Lily looked up and blinked. In front of her was a golden eyed and sun struck skin man. Lily smiled when she recognized the high cheekbones and flaxen hair he had.

" Pericles it's good to see you," Lily answered. She got up and pulled the tall man into a hug. Her brother wore a pair of white healer robes and reading glasses. Besides her, Pericles was the most different from the other Gastors.

He had a disposition of intelligence and preferred a good book to a game of pick up Quidditch. Pericles didn't have the golden-blonde hair that all her brothers had. No, he had flaxen blonde hair and a pair of curved dimples. Besides Jason, Pericles was the brother Lily got along with the most.

" Petal! You haven't written or bothered to visit. I've had to rely on Jason for information," Pericles scolded jokingly. Lily wore a sheepish smile.

" I didn't know how you would react towards what I did," Lily mumbled.

" Flower I'm family, I'll always have room in my heart for you," Pericles answered. Lily smiled and knew that she could trust him with this one thing.

" I need your help. I want a copy of mum and dad's birth records," Lily explained. Pericles's eyebrows rose into his hairline.

" What for," he asked skeptically. Lily gulped and brushed a strand of hair from her face.

" Feminine reasons," Lily mumbled. A blush crept up her throat and she could see the tips of Pericles's ears turn red. He stuttered out an embarrassed response.

"Oh well then I'm sure I can get a copy to you, "Pericles mumbled self-conscious. Internally Lily beamed; the best way to hide a secret from her brothers was to use the biggest difference she had from them; her gender.

" I'm done with work, but this will only take a few minutes. I'll get you the paperwork now," Pericles said. Lily nodded and watched him walk towards the escalator. She took a seat in the reception and felt her blush fade.

" Wotcher is that you Evans," a voice exclaimed. Lily turned and saw the poised figure of Andromeda Tonks.

" Auror Tonks it's good to see you," Lily said. She got up and shook hands with the tall woman.

" I told you to call me Andi," Andromeda muttered. Lily smiled sheepishly and stood across from the woman.

" I just came back from Bristol. That attack was hell. My partner and I had to repair the bridge and obliviate the muggles. The blasted ministry didn't send any hit wizards or the oblivation squad," Andromeda exclaimed.

" What happened? I heard that the bridge collapsed and ten muggles died this morning," Lily questioned.

" It was a warzone. The giants have sided with you-know-who. They're usually peaceful idiots but we've got intel that you-know-who has been sending death eaters to convince them to fight for him. Giants are immune to most magic so in the end we had to burn them. I can still smell the scent of burning flesh," Andromeda answered. Lily narrowed her eyebrows.

" So the Ministry is relying on the aurors to deal with Voldemort," Lily said. A few people in the reception flinched when she said his name.

" Obviously! I'll tell you one thing; the Profit is filled with lies. They've been bribed into silence by death eaters," Andromeda said disgusted.

" So how do we get reliable news," Lily asked concerned. Andromeda let out a sigh of hopelessness.

" Find someone trustworthy to give you information. My daughter, Nymphadora she's a first year at Hogwarts. You've probably seen her around; she's a klutzy Gryffindor with bubblegum pink hair. I can't do anything about that atrocious hair. She's a Metamorphmagus you see. Makes finding her hell. Anyways I usually write to her about the real news. She spreads it like wildfire with her friends," Andromeda replied.

Lily smiled when she mentioned her daughter. She had seen a short girl with startling pink hair around Gryffindor tower before.

" I'll tell my friends. Maybe some of their parents could write to us," Lily said. Andromeda nodded.

" So why are you in Mungos? Did someone you know get hurt," Andromeda asked concerned. Lily was about to answer her, but someone interrupted.

" Lily I've got the fi- oh hello Andromeda," Pericles said. He sent a cold expression at Andromeda.

" Pericles I heard that you were working in Mungos. How's Julius doing," Andromeda proclaimed. Lily watched Pericles shoot her an icy stare.

" He's good. Well as good as having his heart broken by his dream girl. But he's doing well," Pericles sneered. Lily stared at him in shock. Andromeda flinched.

" Well it's been grand Lily. I'll see you around. I've got this feeling that your friend here isn't in the mood to go down memory lane," Andromeda coldly stated. Lily muttered a goodbye and watched the black-haired beauty leave.

" What the hell was that," Lily exclaimed. She whirled around and crossed her arms around her chest. Pericles sniffed a response.

" Lily Andromeda Black is a heart breaking bitch. She pretty much killed Julius," Pericles answered. Then Lily remembered. She remembered hearing about Julius's betrothal to the eldest Black girl. She remembered he happily telling her mum about Meda Black and the letters they sent to each other. She remembered him coming home from Hogwarts, his final year expecting to be married in three weeks. Lily remembered his heart-broken expression when Andromeda never showed up to the wedding.

"Oh I forgot about that. She's married now, has a daughter too," Lily responded. Pericles pursed his lips.

" Lily here are the files you asked for. I think you should think about where your loyalties lie. Stay safe Petal," Pericles briskly announced. He shoved the papers into Lily's hands and strode out of the reception.

Lily cursed herself for mentioning Andromeda. She had pushed away one of her brothers yet again. She sighed and tucked the files inside of her bracelet and left St Mungos.

She went for Mungos around two and it was black outside when she left. Lily shivered when a thick drop of water fell on her. It was raining; and not just a light shower, no a bloody tempest.

Lily took the night bus to Grimmauld Place. Rain was pouring in unholy amounts. Lily pulled the hood of her cloak over her head. She tossed the money to the driver and stumbled out of the bus. Lily could feel raindrops falling down her back. She shivered and wrapped the cloak around her body.

Lily quickly walked over to her house. She stopped when she saw a figure outside of 11 and 12 Grimmauld Place. She could tell it was a man immediately. He looked up to the sky, with an aurora of agony. His hands were clenched and rain fell against his despairing figure. Lily felt like she was intruding on something, but she couldn't let this man stay out in the rain.

Lily felt her sneakers slosh against the downpour, but she kept walking. Her hair hung in wet clumps of curls around her face. Lily stumbled when a flash of lightening broke through the hazy clouds. She let out a squeal of surprise and braced herself for the hard landing. But it never came.

Lily felt a pair of strong hands yank her up and pull her into a hard body. She opened her eyes and met a pair of agonizing hazel ones. Lily gasped when she saw the open agony and horror in them.

" Evans what are you doing in the rain? You could get ill," James Potter rumbled in his deep voice. Lily felt his arms curl protectively around her waist. She had to strain her neck to meet his eyes.

" Potter what are you doing? I saw you standing in the rain like some imbecile," Lily hissed. A flash of pain went through Potter's eyes. Lily immediately regretted her words.

" There's no one at the Black house, they've all gone to visit family in Bristol. I've left my mirror and wand in there and the bloody house elf won't let me in. To top off the fucked up day, my dad just died and Mungos kicked me out," Potter growled. Lily could feel his hot breath against her ear. She smelled alcohol.

Lily felt a surge of empathy go through her. Potter was mourning and angry; not the best combinations. To top it off he was drunk. She wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Lily felt a spark of electricity surge through her when she touched him. Potter leaned down and pressed his face to her neck.

Lily guided him to her house and opened the door. She grabbed her cloak and his and kept them on the coat rack. Lily led him up the stairs; ignoring the trail of water they left behind them and opened the door to her bedroom. She led Potter to her bed and sat down with him.

" Lils oh god it hurts to bloody much. My dad and mum they're gone. I'm alone," Potter moaned. Lily felt him wrap his arms tightly around her and pull her on his lap. She ignored the butterflies racing in her chest at his touch.

Lily shoved her shoes and his off. She ripped the socks from their feet. Lily was worried about them getting sick from exposure to the rain. Potter moved her legs impatiently and made her straddle him. Lily froze.

She squirmed against his hold, but Potter didn't let go. Lily stilled and heard Potter sigh with ease. She moved her wand into her hand; ready if Potter decided to do anything.

Potter pulled her closer and Lily could feel her chest pressed directly against his. She shivered and he grabbed the hem of his shirt. Lily gulped as he pulled it over his head. She felt Potter pull her to him.

Lily was tired and wet. She knew that the right thing to do would be to leave Potter in here and go to one of the guest rooms to sleep. But Potter hands were drumming a melody against her hipbone and she loved it.

Potter's bare chest was so warm. She brushed her face against it and felt waves of heat crash on her. Lily grabbed the fold of her shirt and pulled it over her head. She pulled the strap of her bra and slid out of it. She was left wearing a green tank top and wet jeans.

Lily felt Potter grab his belt and slide his wet jeans off. She blushed when she saw that the only thing he had on was a pair of gold boxers. Lily squirmed out of her jeans and accioed a pair of sweatpants from her closet. She slid into them and wrinkled her nose when her wet legs struggled against the fabric. Potter made a noise of impatience and pushed himself against the silver, wooden headboard of the bed. He rested in the pillows and grabbed Lily.

Lily felt her body fly towards Potter. She ended up with her legs folded on either side of him and her hands pressed against his chest. He wrapped his arms like rope around her.

Lily's head told her that this was wrong. That this was James man-whore Potter. That he had bullied and manipulated her. That he was a conceited prat. That he was too drunk and sad to know what he was doing.

But her heart screamed at her. Something clicked inside of her. Her blood pumped Potter's essence through her veins and into every cell in her body. Lily let go of her senses, of her mind, she held onto Potter like he was the only rock in a sea of agony.

" Lils your eyes, they're so beautiful," Potter murmured. Lily felt him press one of his hands against her head and hold her. His thumb brushed her lips. Lily's wand was on the floor with her jeans but she didn't mind. She moved her hands to the back of Potter's neck and ran her fingers through his mess of hair.

Potter sighed and leaned his head against hers. Lily could see his eyes so clearly. She could see two small birthmarks by his jaw. She could see that his glasses didn't hang straightly on the bridge of his nose; no they were a bit crooked.

But most importantly Lily could see his eyes. James Potter's eyes were like universes. Lily could see the stars and the heavens in his eyes. She could see fireworks and emotions tumble in them. She was lost in the sea that was James Potter's eyes.

Potter leaned forward and Lily leaned forward. She felt every piece of her break away. Her memories were burned to ashes, her heart and soul turned to liquid gold. She could feel the balloons that were holding her mind down fly away. Lily titled her head and James titled his.

Lily's lips reached James's lips and she exploded into a star. She felt her soul and heart reach for his as his soul and heart reached for her. She felt them snap together and let out a burst of joy.

Kissing James was like being lit on fire. Lily could feel every molecule and atom in her burn with the heavenly fire that was James Potter. She tugged his head closer to hers. Their lips clashed and opened. Their tongues dueled each other with weapons of lightening and gasoline.

Lily let out a sultry moan. James responded with a deep throaty one. She could feel James drumming a melody against the artery in her neck. She could feel so much.

She didn't need air; she only needed James. The world broke into millions of fragments and disappeared with the wind. James Potter made her feel like she was alive, so so alive.

Eventually they broke apart. Their fire died down, but embers remained. James pressed his forehead against hers and embers flew out of his eyes. Lily saw something in his eyes. She saw something beautiful.

She took ragged breaths; when she didn't have James to breathe she needed air. Flames of drowsiness tickled her. She curled up against James and felt him turn her over. His hot breath surrounded her.

Lily was pressed directly against James. She could feel him pull the blanket from under them and wrap it around them. Her side pressed into the bed and her chest faced James. He grabbed his glasses and placed them on her nightstand. His arms moved and pulled Lily flush against him.

Lily wrapped her arms around his lower back and curled against him. She was shorter than him so her head rested against his chest. Lily could feel his heart beat and beat and beat.

Lily fell asleep to embers and the sound of James Potter's beating heart.

Lily felt beams of sunlight hit her body. She opened her eyes with a smile on her lips. She didn't have a nightmare; no she had the most amazing dream of her life. Lily remembered bits and pieces of it. She remembered a meadow and soft-footed dancing. She remembered a tall and dark man holding her.

Lily turned to the side of her bed and found that it was cold. She frowned and looked up. It was empty. Every trace of James Potter was gone from her room. Lily turned her covers over and stood up. Her clothing from the night before was folded on her desk. She walked over and found a note on the pile.

_Lily,_

_I'm sorry but we can't do this._

_James_

It took seven words. It took 32 words. It took one sentence for James Potter to break Lily's heart into million of pieces.

" Lily why didn't you respond to any of my letters," Michael questioned. Lily ignored him and walked past him. She couldn't do this. She couldn't breathe. Lily was choking on air all because of James Potter.

After James had left her that horrible Wednesday morning, Lily gave up. She hated herself for being so weak, for giving up just because of a bloody boy. Lily didn't bother to continue to hunting for answers. She left her parents' medical files and letters they left for her in her expandable bracelet and never thought to open it.

She spent the next five days exploring muggle London and studying for her OWLS. But every sunset and sunrise reminded her of James. Lily had Daisy put up a thick black curtain over the glass door to the balcony.

Worst of all was that she was just like the other girls who fell for him. She was a broken hearted idiot who though she was better than the others. But she was wrong. Lily was probably worse than those girls. They went to him knowing that they didn't stand a chance. But Lily thought there was something. She thought that maybe she was the fire he needed. She was wrong

Lily came to Kings Cross right before the train left. She hid in an empty compartment and read a DADA textbook. She couldn't face her friends and their questions.

Lily ignored the bewildered expressions on her friends' faces when she ignored them she kept walking. Lily saw the Marauders across the station flirting with a group of giggling Hufflepuff girls. Jason looked up at her but she looked down. Looking at him reminded her of the horrible thing that had happened over break. She could see his thick black mourning robes from this distance. Lily looked down at her body; she was wearing a short sleeve black dress and a black cloak.

Lily didn't want to think about the other thing that had happened over break. But her mind spun and she saw blackness. Lily cursed herself for not eating in the past two days. The last thing Lily saw before she fell was the cloud-covered sky.

_Flashback_

Lily was in the living room of the Auclair townhouse. Well really her townhouse, but she couldn't think of anything else to call it. She heard a knock at the door and placed the bowl of cherries she was eating on a table by her book. She crossed over the entrance hall and opened the door. Lily was sure that her jaw had fallen off her face when she saw who was in front of her.

" What are you doing here," Lily asked. The man in front of her smirked and leaned against the doorframe.

" I'm here for family business little sister," Julius Gastor announced. Lily gaped at him. Julius would never try to contact. He pretty much hated her. Julius thought that she was a child who could never grow up.

" I just escaped Witch Weekly reporters. If you don't want them hounding at your door for the next week you'll let me in," Julius ordered. Lily groaned and moved from the doorframe. Julius stepped inside and looked around curiously.

Lily led him to the living room and sat down in her seat. She watched him pick up a box that she had got from Greece.

" Why are you here," Lily sighed. Julius turned and faced her with a smirk.

" I told you I've got family business to wrap up. Jason told me that you didn't open that letter from dad yet. You need to open it," Julius demanded. Lily glared at him. She pulled her sweater closer to her body.

" Why," Lily drawled.

" Your future husband's name is in that letter. I made a promise to dad to have you with that man before you graduate," Julius sneered. Lily froze; she didn't want to get married to some pureblood arse.

" I could hardly care about your issues," Lily sniffed. Julius wore a deadly expression and crossed the room. He pulled her up and shoved her against the wall.

" Listen Lily and listen closely. I'm tired of your petty childhood tantrum. It's time you revealed the truth to everybody," Julius snarled. Lily paled and reached for her wand.

" I'm not going to be a bloody pureblood housewife," Lily grumbled.

" Well that's not up to you. I have a meeting to attend, so I'm going to make a deal with you. If you don't open that letter and tell me whom your betrothal is with by the end of the school year I'll start killing your little friends. And I start with that little half-blood friend of yours," Julius threatened. Lily gulped and pulled her wand out. She held it tightly.

" I think it's time you leave," Lily coldly stated.

" I'm not lying. The minute you're off Platform nine and ¾ you will come to me and tell me who it is. Otherwise I'll get a few of my friends to make an appearance at the Platform," Julius said cruelly.

" You wouldn't dare. There will be children on that platform," Lily exclaimed. Julius gave her a cold gaze and walked out of the room. His hand was on the doorknob as he said one last sentence.

" I'll personally kill that half-blood bitch Andromeda had with that disgusting mudblood," Julius jeered. Lily watched him leave and collapsed against the wall.

_Flashback ends_

" Lily are you alright," a voice asked. Lily looked up and blinked. She was on the floor of the station and her fellow Gryffindors surrounded her. Benjy and Marlene were sitting in front of her.

Lily remembered her break and paled. She would open those letters later, for now she had other things to worry about.

" I'm fine, it was a horrible break," Lily honestly admitted. She stood up and walked with her friends to Hogwarts.

" Lupin's got the dark mark," Kinglsey revealed. Lily turned to him and stopped walking. It was the evening of a warm late April day. She and Kinglsey had a silent patrol until he spoke.

" Are you sure? Remus doesn't seem like the death eater type," Lily asked cautiously. Kinglsey stopped a few feet in front of her. They were patrolling near the Astronomy Tower and were about to enter it.

" Emma Vanity saw it with her own eyes. She lives in Bristol and saw Lupin shoot the killing curse at some defenseless muggle," Kinglsey muttered. Lily pushed the disgust and heartbreak away. After what James did, she couldn't take anymore suffering. Her heart was already broken and the pieces were sitting in shards on the cold ground unwilling to put themselves back together. She started walking up the narrow staircase to the Astronomy Tower. Kinglsey followed her.

"Oh. Well he was at that meeting we snuck into," Lily finally said. She reached the top of the tower and heard a giggle come from a hidden corner. Kinglsey glanced at her wearing an amused expression.

The Astronomy Tower at Hogwarts at one point must have been a magical place for a boy to sneak a girl to. It was a place to propose or to have a first kiss. But over the centuries it became the most common place to find people performing indecent activities. It lost its sparkle.

Lily followed Kinglsey at a distance. She preferred for Kinglsey to bust the pair and for him to be the one to see them performing some crude activity. She then followed and deducted points and handed out detentions.

Lily heard a squeal of surprise as Kinglsey caught the two. She caught up to him in a few seconds. Lily felt her heart stop when she saw the couple.

A blonde Hufflepuff was red in the face as she attempting to cover up her body. She was straddling a shirtless boy who didn't seem to care that he got caught. But when he saw Lily his face fell.

Lily's heart was in pieces. But at the sight she saw those pieces were broken into sand-sized particles. They flew away with the wind. Lily pushed the hurt and desolation away. She let her heart leave and embraced the coldness.

" Fifty points from Hufflepuff. 75 points from Slytherin and a week of detention for Potter," Lily sneered. Potter stared at her in anger when he heard what she said. He shoved the girl off her, but Lily turned. She brushed past Kinglsey who wore a shocked face. She battled the tears and sobs coming she pushed them away and kept walls up to keep them from coming.

Lily turned around a corner and felt a hand yank her shoulder. She grabbed her wand and pressed it against her attacker's neck. Lily looked up and saw that it was Potter. He ignored the wand she had directly on his neck and held her waist tightly. Unlike that night last week, she didn't feel pleasure not she felt disgust.

" Get your bloody hands off me Potter," Lily growled. She twisted the wand further into his neck. A list of spells flashed through her mind.

" No. You're taking advantage of your power. You can't take fifty or 75 points for something that minor! Twenty is more appropriate. And the detentions were uncalled for," Potter cockily drawled. Rage filled Lily. She could feel her magic twitching in her body. It wanted to do something about Potter's arrogance.

" You're right Potter. Two weeks of detention for you and a hundred points from Slytherin," Lily snarled. She threw Potter's arm off her and took off towards the Gryffindor tower at a brisk pace.

Lily felt something grab her waist and push her against a wall. Potter in front of her, too closely. She pressed into the wall trying to get away from him, but he only moved closer. Lily's feet were practically on top of his. She slapped him across the face and he let out a low growl.

" Dammit Evans," he barked. Potter grabbed her hand and pinned it against the wall. Lily pried his fingers with her other hand. He rolled his eyes in annoyance and trapped her hands together with one hand. Lily's wand was in her fingers and she twitched it towards him.

" Well we can't have that," Potter snickered. He grabbed her wand and tucked it in the hem of her skirt. Lily felt his hand slowly crawl over her body. Shivers broke out on her neck, but she refused to acknowledge them.

" Potter if you don't let go of me," Lily started. Potter scoffed at this.

" You'll do what? I've got your hands and wand Evans," Potter interrupted. Lily glared up at him.

" Potter let go of me. You're the one who couldn't face the consequences of a bloody kiss," Lily snarled. Potter's eyes flashed with something Lily couldn't read.

" I did that to protect you. Being in a relationship with me would hurt you," he muttered with gritted teeth. Lily jeered at this.

" Potter for the entire time that I've known you, you've never given a damn for how people feel. You're a sadistic bully who manipulates people into giving him what he wants. I hardly doubt that you would even bother to care for me," Lily sneered.

" Don't you see Evans? You're a mudblood and I'm a pureblood," Potter indignantly huffed.

" Screw you Potter! You can't even maintain a bloody conversation with someone without insulting him or her. The only times you were actually nice to me was when you were drunk," Lily growled. Potter's eyes looked at her curiously.

" I've only been drunk around you once," he said. Lily realized her mistake. She had obliviated his memory of the first time he was actually decent to her.

Lily pressed her knee into his chest and shoved him off her. She gave him once last glare before leaving. She broke into a sprint trying to escape her demons.

Lily stood in front of Dumbledore's office enraged. Professor Grubbly-Plank had actually sent her to the Headmaster for a small thing. She felt horribly embarrassed. She wasn't the one who released the nifflers; it was Black!

Ever since her argument with Potter, all the Marauders took it to themselves to keep Potter happy. They decided to target the person who Potter apparently hated the most; her.

Lily grumbled the password and stormed up the stone staircase. Dumbledore sat at his desk reading the Profit with a frustrated expression. He looked up and smiled at Lily.

" Lily please sit," he said. Lily gave him a small smile and slid into one of the seats in front of his desk. Dumbledore kept the paper down and looked at Lily amused.

" I never got a chance to give you my condolences about Darcy Auclair's tragic death. He was a great student and friend," Dumbledore announced. Lily remained silent and crossed her arms.

" Look I didn't do anything. Black was the one to pull the latch on the nifflers cage. Professor Grubbly-Plank blamed me since I was closest to the cage," Lily exclaimed. She stopped speaking and turned red.

" You're not in trouble Miss Evans. I wanted to know how your patrols are going," Dumbledore questioned.

" If I'm not being to blunt Professor, but you've done a horrible job at keeping Kinglsey inconspicuous. I know that he's trying to prepare me for something," Lily responded. Professor Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with amusement.

" I never meant to be secretive Miss Evans. The point of you and Mr. Shacklebolt patrolling together is to see a reaction in you," Dumbledore answered with a chuckle.

" I know that there's some group out there. They're fighting Voldemort right," Lily confessed.

" Good Miss Evans. You see I start the selection process for this group usually at the end of a student's 6th year. By that time these people are of age and have had enough exposure to the world. Some of your friends, such as Mr. Longbottom and Mr. McKinnon they are great candidates for this group," Dumbledore replied.

" I get the point of waiting until someone is of age. But it's not really necessary. There are people out there ready to fight. They're eager and ambitious and everything this group needs," Lily argued.

" Would you consider yourself one of those people," Dumbledore asked. Lily mulled this over.

" No. I don't have the capabilities that some of my friends do. I'm not as talented or good at dueling as some of them," Lily answered. She remembered the few duels that had broken out between the fifth years. Marlene had a certain flair for jinxes. Benjy was amazing at defensive spell. Michael could dodge a spell so quickly.

Before Dumbledore could say anything a red bird flew into his office. It dropped a letter on his desk. Lily watched it in amazement. It was a brilliant red phoenix! Lily had read about Phoenixes back in Greece. But Phoenixes were rare creatures; they only served people they considered worthy. Dumbledore caught her gazing the red avian that was resting on a stand in the center of his office.

" Miss Evans this is Fawkes. Fawkes and I are closest companions. Sometimes when Fawkes feels up to it, it'll carry important letter for me," Dumbledore announced.

" It's incredible," Lily murmured. She watched the bird tuck its wing under its chest and its eyes looked at Lily. Lily swore that there were flames in the bird's eyes.

She turned to Dumbledore and saw that he was reading the letter with a troubled expression.

" I'm sorry Miss Evans. I must leave for the Ministry soon. Before you leave I want you to know something," Dumbledore began.

" Your parents, William and Delphina Gastor trusted me with a certain bit of information. Are you aware that you are betrothed in the eyes of pureblood society," Dumbledore questioned. Lily's throat dried as she managed a response.

" Yes. But I don't know who to," Lily croaked. Dumbledore had a sad gaze in his eyes.

" I was trusted with that information. I have a way for you to find out who it is. You see, your parents never restricted memories to be shown to you and I currently own a pensieve," Dumbledore said.

Lily's heart leaped. She wouldn't be forced to read the last words her parents ever would express to her in those bloody letters.

" However you already have a way to discover who this person is. I know you're scared Lily, but one day you will be ready to open those letters. I must leave now, remember that we are only strong in numbers and with love," Dumbledore advised.

Lily gaped at him. She almost had a way out, but Dumbledore was right. She couldn't avoid opening those letter forever.

Lily knew that one day she would be ready to read the last words of her parents, but that wasn't today.

* * *

**One month ago I released the first chapter of Confingo. Now it's at a hundred thousand words!**

**I would like to thank my beta, without her ideas and support I would have not left chapter 2. I would like to thank every person that reviewed Confingo and Animus, they have me inspiration. And lastly I would like to thank the readers who tolerated my horrible grammar and occasional spelling mistakes and saw past them.**

**R&amp;R!**

**-Rin**


	6. Sharks and Minnows

**Chapter 6 Sharks and Minnows**

**( We Built this City)**

* * *

" Good job Mr. Potter and Miss Evans! Your strengthening solution is a perfect shade of turquoise. I wouldn't be surprised to see the both of you in my NEWT class next year," Professor Slughorn beamed. Lily responded with a stiff smile and Potter let out a grunt.

Slughorn looked at the two with a confused expression. An explosion from the other side of the room caught his attention and he left. Lily quickly vanished the potion from the cauldron and Potter kept the left over supplies away.

Lily heard a shout and looked behind her. Marlene was waving a small knife in the air and scolding a sheepish Sirius Black. Lily turned from the two and faced the front of the room.

A piece of paper flew at her and hit her head. Lily grabbed it and lit it on fire with her wand. She turned and gave Michael a vexed expression. He stuck his tongue out at her and smirked. Lily knew that the Quidditch final was in three weeks and she was preparing for it. But Michael made his life revolve around Quidditch.

He enforced early morning practices and regulated what the team ate. He rounded them up and made them perform obscene practice drills. In other words; the entire team was plotting his murder.

Lily felt Potter sit down and moved farther from him. He ignored her and toyed with a snitch. Lily watched him play with the small gold ball. He could have been a seeker; he had amazing reflexes. Lily remembered their conversation in the woods. He told her that his father had a snitch. Lily wondered if the snitch he was playing with was the deceased Charlus Potter's snitch.

Ever since Easter break ended, Potter had simply become a ghost of his former self. He still pranked and flirted with anything that moved; but the spark in his eyes was gone.

Lily wondered if the other Marauders noticed this too. She glanced at Sirius who was glaring at Marlene. Black would probably be the one to notice Potter's change in mood since they were closer. Lily watched Potter and Black's interactions with amazement. They behaved as though they were biological brothers. They could have passed for fraternal twins!

They both had the same rugged arrogant disposition. Their hair was the same midnight black. They even had a trademark smirk. But there was one major difference. Black had a chaotic gleam in his eyes, something that frightened Lily. Potter had an unreadable glint in his eyes. Lily could see that Potter tried to hide his real feelings behind a wall of arrogance and smarminess. She wondered when that wall would inevitably fall.

Lily heard the shrill ring of the end of the period bell. She grabbed her bag and waited by the door for Marlene and the other Gryffindors. A group of pretentious Slytherin girls walked passed her and shoved her into the wall. They broke into peals of high-pitched shrill laughter.

Lily ignored the wave of anger rising in her. She pushed it away. She had only been a muggleborn for five months. Some people had to deal with this horrible treatment for decades.

" Penelope Parkinson can be a real bitch sometimes," Marlene muttered as she approached Lily. Lily nodded and the two left for the Great Hall. Benjy and Michael trailed behind them distracted by their in-depth conversation about the Chudley Cannons.

" Are you daft Benjy? The Cannons haven't won a game in over a decade," Michael said incredulously. Lily turned to them.

" They'll make a comeback! And when they do I'll be the loyal fan," Benjy declared. Lily smiled.

" Did you hear? Fabian told me that he and Gid had an offer from Puddlemere! Scouts are coming to watch us next year," Marlene exclaimed. Lily scrunched her nose. She though that Fabian and Gideon deserved this, but being on Puddlemere would mean that they would be teammates with Julius.

Lily tried to not think about the letters. But curiosity roared inside her. She wanted to leave the letters and wait until school ended. She really did. But Lily was so curious. So many people had made a commotion about it. Lily sighed and brushed those thoughts away, for now.

She could feel the mid-Spring sunlight hit her the minute she entered the Great Hall. Lily smiled; she loved summer. She walked with the Gryffindors to the table and took a seat next to Alice.

Lily looked up at the faculty table and frowned. Ever since her meeting in Dumbledore's office three days ago, he had disappeared from public view. The other teachers, especially Professor McGonagall, kept glancing at his empty seat. Lily bit her lip and turned back to the Gryffindors.

" Mum made Alice and I go to Charlus Potter's funeral. I went to the restroom in Potter Manor and overheard something. Apparently the bloody Marauders planned that attack in Bristol! They wanted something special for Lupin's test," Frank announced in a disgusted tone.

" Do you know what the test is," Lily asked. Frank sighed and rubbed his forehead.

" No, but I'm sure that Marlee does. Black boasted about passing the test during a summer ball she went to," Frank answered. Everybody turned to Marlene, including Lily.

" I don't know the details that well. But I'm pretty sure the test is the initiation for becoming a death eater. I suppose if you pass the test you get the Dark Mark," Marlene muttered. Lily glanced around; no one seemed to be paying attention to them.

" What do the potential death eaters have to do," Emmeline asked. No one wanted to answer her, but finally Michael did.

" They've got to choose one of the unforgivable curses and perform it on someone," Michael answered darkly. Lily frowned in confusion how did Michael know about this, but realization hit her.

Michael hated her family since one of her brothers had killed his parents. Michael stood and walked out of the Great Hall. Lily followed him. She sprinted after him and he stopped near the staircase to the Black Lake.

" Lily go. I need to be alone," Michael said. Lily refused to leave she walked up to him.

" So you hate my family because they killed your parents," Lily prompted. Michael turned to her with a tortured gaze.

" They didn't just kill my dad and mum. No, fucking Julius Gastor he wanted more than to simply pass the test. He wanted power," Michael began. Lily felt waves of disgust; her own brother was a monster.

" To pass the test, they're supposed to do one of the three unforgivable curses on one person. Well your brother that wasn't enough. He set up a trap for my parents who were on duty. Then he used the cruciatus on them for hours. I can still hear their screams. After that he used the killing curse and ended it," Michael answered. Lily stared at him in horror.

" Want to know how I know this? Well I'll tell you. He and his death eater buddies kidnapped me from a Hogsmeade trip in my third year. They held me hostage Lily until my parents finally showed up. Then your fucking brother tortured and killed my own parents right in front of me. I still had nightmares about that. After killing my mum and dad he turned to me and had this insane smile on his face. He apparated me to the Hogwarts grounds and left me with huge gashes on my back there ready to die. The only reason he didn't kill me was to keep the Wood line going. Later that day, Hagrid found me," Michael finished.

Lily could feel bile pooling in her mouth. Her eyes watered and she turned green. But she pushed her disgust and horror away. Lily pulled Michael into a tight embrace. She felt him move his head to the top of hers and could feel tears spill on her shirt.

" I've still got scars from that. Gastor had one of his buddies use a slicing charm on me every hour that my parents didn't show up. Pomfrey healed most of the gashes, but I've still got one," Michael announced.

" I understand why you hate my family. It makes me hate Julius. I feel so wrong, I hate my brother," Lily murmured. Michael lifted her chin and stared into her eyes.

His eyes were soft amber. Lily could see specks of yellow and black in them. They made her feel safe and secure, but that wasn't what Lily wanted. Those eyes extinguished the fire that James Potter lit.

" It's okay Lils. You've been through enough, it was wrong of me to judge you on how your brothers acted, "Michael answered. Lily looked up at him through bleary eyes.

" Ugh I was suppose to be the one comforting you," Lily mumbled with a sheepish grin. Michael chuckled and swept a strand of hair from her face.

" I've had years to get used to my parents' death. You on the other hand have had five months of exposure to who your brothers really are," Michael replied.

Lily nodded and smiled at him. She felt the skin on the back of her neck prickle. Lily turned and met the bitter eyes of James Potter. He watched her without an expression. But Lily could see the pain and anguish in his eyes.

Lily bit her lips. She couldn't be betrothed to Lucius Malfoy; no he was engaged to marry the youngest Black sister. She crossed his name off her three-page list.

Lily leaned back in her seat and stared at the papers in front of her in frustration. She was spending her Sunday afternoon cooped up in the library. She had an amazing view of the Black Lake and stared at the students sitting near it in envy.

The Marauders had set up a clean area of the lake and people were swimming inside of it. Lily knew she was torturing herself so she grabbed her stuff and moved to a table in the back of the library.

She spent the last two hours creating a list of all the potential people her parents could have betrothed her to. Lily didn't want to open the letter and felt like the process of elimination could be of some use to her. The list ranged from people her age to all the single pureblood boys. Her entire third page was useless as most of the people on it were over ten years older than her.

Her parents may have been crazy enough to engage her to someone, but they wouldn't force her to marry someone Julius's age. Lily bit her lip and crossed Sirius Black's name off the second page. He was already betrothed. Lily saw that she had accidentally written her brothers' names and furiously blacked their names out. Some purebloods may support incest, but her parents would never do that to her.

Lily put the quill and paper down and tugged the hairband out of her hair. It fell in a wave of curls and red strands around her. Lily massaged her head debating whether the short 6th year Slytherin named Walden Macnair could be a possibility.

Lily remembered something. Benjy had told her that the person was powerful. Lily smiled and grabbed a new piece of parchment. She copied every eligible member of the Holy Seven and the sacred 28 on it. Lily smiled; her list was down to a page and a half.

Lily stared at Michael's name. She felt butterflies squirm in her stomach when she saw it. Lily didn't know how she would feel if she was going to marry Michael. Lily really hated pureblood engagements.

Pureblood betrothals were different from muggle ones. They were usually formed a few months after a girl was born. When the girl had her entrance to society ball, which could range from anytime before the girl started attending school, her parents revealed whom the person was to society.

The boy's parents knew about the betrothal, but could not tell the boy whom it was with since it was considered bad luck to do so. In Lily's situation, each pair of parents could tell five people who would be sworn to secrecy.

Lily crossed Frank and the Prewitt twins off her list. Their parents didn't believe in the betrothal process. Lily chewed her lip and crossed Evan Rosier's name off the list; her parents arranged Lucian to be with Eliza before she was born. Lily glanced at the remaining names.

There were about ten of them. She checked the first nine and checked them off, as they fit the description. When she reached the last one she paused. Written in her neat French cursive was a name she would prefer to forget; James Potter.

Lily frowned and though about factors that could prevent the betrothal possibility. Potter was in the Holy Seven, and not only that, he was a descendant of the Peverells and Godric Gryffindor. He fit the age criteria since he was about two months younger than her.

Lily frowned at his name. There was only a 10% chance that it was him, and Lily hoped it wasn't him. Her body chilled at the idea of being stuck with James Potter the minute she graduated.

Lily shoved the papers into her bag and tied her hair up. She nodded at the strict librarian and left the library. Lily walked through the cool hallways of Hogwarts mulling over her options.

The best one would be to open those bloody letters, but she didn't want to. Lily didn't know if that was because she was scared or too stubborn, all she knew was that a feeling of dread filled her at the prospect of opening them.

Lily remembered that she still had to figure out the truth behind her parents' deaths. She groaned. Lily had too much to do; preparing for the Quidditch match, OWLS, mountain-sized homework assignments, skirting around the letters, her parents' deaths, and to top it off she was avoiding all the Marauders and her brothers.

Lily saw the Portrait of the fat lady and smiled. She walked up to it and quickly mumbled the password. She stepped over the hole behind it and walked into the Gryffindor Common Room. It was mostly empty since everybody was outside enjoying the first warm day of the year. Lily saw a pink-haired girl sitting by the fireplace playing Wizard's Chess alone. She frowned and walked over.

" Do you mind if I sit here," Lily asked pointing at the seat across from the girl. The girl looked up with a surprised expression. Lily watched in amazement as the girl's eyes changed from a lovely blue to a stormy gray. She was reminded of Sirius Black's eyes.

" Not really," the girl glumly admitted. Lily smiled and watched the girl play by herself. She frowned when she saw the tear stains on the girl' cheeks. Lily remembered Andromeda telling her that she had a daughter who attended Hogwarts. She looked at the girl curiously and remembered that the girl's name was Nymphadora and she was a Metamorphmagus.

" So why are you inside? It's such a lovely day," Lily asked curiously. The girl blushed and looked up from her board.

" I don't want to go outside. Some mean Slytherins were calling my dad a mudblood," the girl sniffed. Lily looked at her sympathetically. The girl's eyes switched from the trademark Black family color to a brilliant gold.

" Do you want to play," the girl pressed. Lily saw eagerness on the girl's face and smiled.

" I would love to, but I'm rather bad at Wizard's Chess," Lily admitted. She remembered playing the game with Remus one Saturday afternoon. He was amazing at the game and completely demolished her.

Lily sighed remembering the study sessions she used to have with Remus. After break ended he kept shooting her stares and sending her notes in class to meet. But Lily didn't want to talk to him, let alone study with him. She felt like Remus Lupin was too good to be a death eater.

The girl grinned and set up the pieces. Lily let her go first. Lily stumbled through the game, as she never had a great fondness for it.

" No you can't move your knight there," the girl said. She held her hand in front of her mouth trying to hide her amused laughter. Lily frowned and looked at the board game. The pieces turned to her and shouted advice out. Lily blushed and let the knight choose its position.

" So why are you inside today," the girl asked. Lily noticed that the girl wasn't as shy and timid as she had been before.

" Sometimes a lovely day can look good on the outside, but on the inside it's not so lovely," Lily answered. The girl's lips tugged up into a grin. Lily shot her a curious glance.

" My mum says the same thing about people," the girl answered. Lily nodded and the girl perked up.

" I know who you are! You're Lily Evans, I saw you catch the snitch in the Quidditch game last month," the girl exclaimed. Lily blushed.

" You're Auror Tonk's daughter. Nymphadora right," Lily said. The girl nodded and smiled.

" Yes, but everybody calls me Tonks. My mum's an auror. I want to be one just like her. The only problem is that she and dad, who's a hit wizard, are always away fighting the bad guys," the girl exclaimed. Lily felt a pang of empathy; her mum worked in the International Magical Cooperation Department and her dad worked in the Wizengamot so she didn't see them a lot when she lived with them.

" I've met your mum. She's fantastic," Lily answered. The girl grinned and seemed to approve of Lily.

" Mum's great! She left her family and everything she knew to be with dad. Now they don't speak to her. Regulus, he's my cousin but only biologically, he called dad a mudblood today," the girl said.

" Do all the Blacks treat you that way," Lily questioned.

" Pretty much. My mum's uncle Alphard he used to visit, but now he's dead. Sirius, the one in your year, he stopped by for Christmas Eve to check and see how mum and I were doing. He ignores my dad though. When Regulus bullies my friends and me, Sirius sometimes stops him," Tonks babbled.

Lily was shocked that Sirius Black could actually be so considerate.

" Are the other Marauders nice to you," Lily asked. Tonks's eyebrows furrowed.

" Well Jason Gastor just ignores me. Potter sometimes smiles at me. But Remus Lupin talks to me. On my first day here I got lost and he helped me get to my classroom," Tonks admitted.

Lily saw a dreamy expression sit on the girl's face when she spoke about Remus. Her eyes soften and her hair began to curl.

" Remus is nice isn't he," Lily mused. The girl nodded eagerly and moved one of her bishops to knock over Lily's last pawn.

" Remus is nice. But he's always sick, especially around the full moon. I fall a lot and when I go to the Hospital Wing he's there sometimes," the girl babbled. Lily's face froze when the girl mentioned the full moon. She began to put pieces together and gasped.

" Checkmate I win," the girl declared with a grin. Lily nodded and congratulated her.

" Sorry Lily but I've got heaps of homework from Slughorn, I don't think he likes me that much," the girls confessed. A blush crossed her face.

" It's fine Tonks. If you want to talk anytime just find me," Lily said with a grin. The girl smiled and gave Lily a goodbye. Lily watched her trudge up the staircase.

The minute Tonks disappeared from view Lily shot up. She looked outside and saw that people were coming in. She quickly left the Common Room and ran to the library. Madame Pince shot Lily an annoyed expression, but Lily ignored her.

She darted to the Dark Creatures section and pulled out a book. Lily sat against the bookshelf and ripped it open. She skimmed the pages and sighed when she found what she was looking for.

Lily bit her lip as she read the chapter. She tucked her legs under her body and turned the pages. Her eyes darted all over the crisp white textbook. As she finished the chapter Lily's mind whirled. She put the textbook down next to her and held her head.

It all made sense; the pale body, the scars, Lucian's comment about revealing his secret, and the nickname. Lily's body heated up, Moony. How daft were the Marauders? She realized that they must also know. Lily wondered how many people knew that Remus Lupin the quiet Marauder was a werewolf.

She honestly couldn't care though. But then she remembered that Remus was a death eater. She chilled and shivered as she imagined what he did on full moon nights. Was he massacring innocent children?

Lily checked the clock and cursed, dinner had started thirty minutes ago. There was no way she could sneak in quietly. Lily put the book back in its spot. She left the library and wrung her hands as she walked to the Great Hall.

She didn't know what to do. She could confront Remus and see if he really was a death eater and werewolf. Or, she could keep it a secret that she knew. She could act normally and not let anyone know that she knew Remus Lupin's darkest secret.

Lily smiled at this as she entered the Great Hall. She took a peak at the Marauders and caught sight of Remus. Lily didn't know why but she paled and flinched as he made eye contact with her. She couldn't see the kind intelligent boy in front of her. No she could only see a bloodthirsty monster that called Voldemort his master.

Lily felt disgusted; she didn't mind that Remus was a werewolf. In fact it made her like him better. He must have gone through so much. No what Lily hated was that he was a death eater; that her study-partner was killing and harming people.

Lily didn't notice that she stopped walking until a Ravenclaw shoved into her. She cringed at Remus's gaze and broke eye contact with him. Lily practically sprinted to her group of Gryffindors and slid in between Marlene and Benjy. She let her hair fall over her shoulder so she didn't have to look at Remus.

Marlene turned to her with a frown. " Lily are you okay? You look as though you've seen a Dementor," she said. Lily felt eyes fly to her. She could see Michael clenching his fists at the Dementor comment.

" I'm fine, I just haven't eaten lunch today. Spent the day reading in the library," Lily sheepishly lied. Michael relaxed at her admission.

" Well this wouldn't have happened if you were at the pitch with me and Fabian," Michael teased. Marlene whacked him over the head.

" Hey what was that for," he asked. Marlene scoffed.

" You've become a Quidditch obsession imbecile. You're almost as bad as Oliver," Marlene scolded. Michael blushed and Lily watched him duck down.

" You'll be thanking me when we beat Ravenclaw," Michael announced. Lily rolled her eyes and turned to her plate. She placed some Yorkshire pudding and started to eat it. Gideon watched her with wide eyes.

" I swear Lily you should eat more food," he muttered. Lily blushed and picked at her food.

" Not all of us are testosterone-controlled teenage boys," Lily sniffed. Gideon ducked down at this. She drank some pumpkin juice and turned to Benjy.

" I think I'm going to fail the History of Magic OWL. I keep mixing up names of trolls and goblins," Lily grumbled.

" I'm worried about Muggle Studies. I've got not bloody idea what electricity is," Michael admitted. Lily bit her lip to keep a giggle down.

" You lot have it easy. Those classes don't impact what jobs you want to do. Sprout hates me and I certainly don't have a green thumb," Marlene snubbed. The 6th years gave them sympathetic looks.

" It'll be over soon. You lot just have a month left and then the OWLS are over," Emmeline said. Lily wanted to believe her, but she sometimes stayed up through the entire night trying to finished homework.

Lily suddenly felt a prickling sensation on her neck. She knew who was staring at her and stiffened. She waited for him to stop but he never did. Lily wrinkled her nose and turned around ready to shoot a deadly glare at Potter.

But she paused. It wasn't Potter staring at her. No, it was Remus. He watched her with morose eyes and Lily paled. She bit her lip and the other Marauders turned to see what Remus was staring at.

Lily blushed a heavy red as eight eyes bore into hers. She could feel fangirls glaring at her. Lily ducked her head and turned. She couldn't handle the secret and lies in her life right now.

" What was that? Longbottom stop hogging the bloody ball and pass it! Fabian you didn't even hit the bludger," Michael shouted. Lily gritted her teeth and watched him shout at every member of the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

The Quidditch Cup match was looming ahead of them. It was in two weeks and Michael Wood was losing it. He enforced practices everyday for four hours. Lily was so tired that she could barely keep her eyes open to study after a long practice.

She stared at the early morning sun and tightened her ponytail. Marlene rubbed her eyes at Michael's harsh words. Lily clenched her fists as he turned to her. Before he could speak Lily snapped.

" What Wood? Are you going to tell me to actually look for the bloody snitch? Or are you going to make Marlene burst into tears. We can't do this anymore. Staying up till dawn studying from Practices that start the minute last period ends and then going to a bloody morning practice at dawn, it's too demanding. I'm not going to fail my OWLS so we can get a bloody trophy. Besides, we were fine with our old schedule, we went through the entire season with that one," Lily roared.

She could feel the sharp eyes of her fellow Gryffindors. They watched her cautiously. But she didn't care. It was a hot day, hot enough for summer standards. She was tired of running drills until she could barely stand still. She was tired of maintaining everything on her plate. Lily never thought that she would be the first 5th year to collapse under the pressure of OWLS, but it looked it she would be.

Michael let her rant and pursed his lips. When Lily finished her face was red and she could barely catch her breath. Michael sighed and looked at the team.

" Everybody can go, except for Evans," he announced. The team slowly left, they were worries that leaving Lily and Michael alone could be disaterous. When they cleared the field, Lily crossed her arms and stared at Michael. He wore a loosed t-shirt and shorts for practice. She could see muscles rippling under his shirt.

" What the hell Evans! Are you trying to captain my team," Michael bellowed. Lily felt rage flash in her eyes. She balled her fists and stepped up to Michael.

" Well if you were a good captain then I wouldn't have to! What are you doing Michael? Keeping the team at the pitch for seven hours a day won't get the win. We've got OWLS in a month! I thought that you wanted to be an auror, you know bring some honor to your family," Lily snapped. She stood chest to chest with Michael. She glared up at him with fury and rage in her green eyes. His eyes exploded with anger and fire.

" I bloody know that Evans! I'm the one with barely enough time to scrawl a goddamn answer to a charms question. I'm the one staying up all night writing plays and drills! I've got to live up to something. If you haven't noticed the best captain Gryffindor's had in over a decade just left five months ago. People are expecting something from me," Michael exclaimed.

" No that's not it! You hardly give a damn about what people think. No you're scared. You're scared of being a disappointment. Wood you shouldn't take out your troubles on your team," Lily shouted. She could feel her heart beating in a frenzy against Michael's chest.

" Lily you hardly know anything about me. My parents were never around; they were off on auror missions all the time. The few times they were home, they looked down at me in disgrace," Michael scoffed. Lily threw her hands into her hair.

" I've known you for five months and in those five months you've done more bad than good. Michael, my family's filled with the most evil bastards to exist. They're sadistic twats and I hate them. My parents they're dead and they wanted me to do something. They wanted me to be some docile pureblood housewife and I tried to be one. The one fucking time I did something wrong you know what they did? They erased every person in England's memories of me. Then they ship me off to Greece where I had to live with complete strangers. I had to live with my mum's parents who I didn't even know existed. They were old senile wizards who snubbed anyone whose family name wasn't common knowledge. I was alone and my brothers hardly did anything. They sent me maybe four letters and then forgot all about me. I was nine years old, and my family and world abandoned me," Lily screamed.

Michael looked at her in shock. Lily took a step back and felt memories that she had locked deep under ground and built fortresses of walls around break free. She could see that horrible day, the day she was banished from England, the day her parents turned into cold cruel monsters.

_Flashback_

When Lily was nine years old she was a prisoner. She was like a princess trapped in a tower waiting for her prince to arrive; but he never did. Lily spent year after year, day after day waiting for her prince to save her. One day she finally decided that she was done waiting for her prince. Lily was the kind of princess who didn't need a prince to free her.

The worst day of her life started on Christmas Day. Lily had woken up, and unlike other children her age; she didn't wear an eager expression to open presents. No Lily sat in her room pouting. She hated the rules of society. Lily hated them so much. She wanted to spend Christmas opening presents under a tree with her family and drink hot chocolate like people did in the movies Pericles had snuck her to see.

But she couldn't. Her parents and brothers woke up and immediately started to prepare for the annual Christmas Pureblood Christmas ball. This was the first year that Jason was allowed to attend it and he immediately ditched Lily. Lily felt her eyes water.

Jason and her were always close. Along with her best friend, Benjy Auclair, they had nicknamed themselves the three musketeers. But Benjy moved to France only five months, ten days, and ten hours ago. After Benjy left, she and Jason still spent time together, but then he started attending Charms School.

Jason had entered society and left Lily behind. He made friends and never spoke to Lily anymore. All of her brothers were either at Hogwarts or Charms School so Lily was always alone. Her dad sometimes took her to work with him in the Ministry, but he stopped doing that after the summer ended. Her mum was always traveling. She worked in the International Connections Department as an ambassador for Greece. Lily sometimes went days without seeing her.

Lily couldn't go to Charms School. She couldn't make friends with other pureblood girls in her situation. Lily hated the stupid rule about a girl's entrance to society. She couldn't wait till her 11th birthday; Lily wanted freedom now. She spent nine years alone with only a few people for company.

She wrinkled her nose and jumped off her huge silver bed. Lily made her way to the door with a set face. She was small for a nine-year old, but she was determined. Lily made her way through the hall and reached her parents' room. She shoved the door open and marched in. Her pigtails and frock billowed out behind her.

Lily caught sight of her mother sitting in front of her vanity. Unlike her brothers, Lily took after her mother. She had her mother's nose and high cheekbones. She had her mother's wide eyes and long lashes. Her eyes were a bit different from her mother's though. And her hair wasn't pin-straight like her mother's; no it curled towards the bottom.

Lily tugged on her mother's dress and her mother looked down at her in surprise. Her fingers toyed with the earring she was putting on as she looked at Lily.

" Lilium what are you doing. Mummy needs to prepare for the ball," her mum announced. Lily wrinkled her nose at her mum's horrid name for her. Her name had been one of the few spats between William Gastor and Delphina Gastor. Her mum wanted to name her for her family. She wanted the name Lilium. But her dad decided that since her mum chose Greek first names for all of her brothers, he could choose hers. He wanted to name her Lilibeth or Lillian for his deceased mother. The fight ended when her godparents stepped in. Her parents took one look at them and found a compromise. They decided to name her Lily since it stood for purity and perfection; two of the most valued assets for a pureblood. They named her after a flower to honor their close friend Rose Auclair. Her middle name was for her father's deceased sister who had died from a bad case of spattergroit in her youth.

Lily's parents had told her that story many times. Even though they reached a compromise on her name they still preferred to call her by the names they each wanted.

' Mum why can't I go to the ball." Lily pouted. Her mum's mouth spread into a gentle smile.

" My little Lilium you're too young for these events. In two years time you'll be able to attend," her mum soothed. Lily stared defiantly at her and let her eyes water.

" Mum but why does Jason get to go? I'm not that much younger than him," Lily pressed. Her mum made a noise of impatience.

" Darling, Jason is a boy, and you know that you can't enter society until your ball is held," her mum intolerantly explained. Lily stomped her foot and glared at her mum.

" It's a stupid rule! I don't care about some old society rule," Lily snapped. Her mum's eyes softened and she picked up Lily. Lily sat in her lap and her mum brushed her hands through Lily's hair.

" Sometimes rules don't make sense, but they will in time," her mum soothed. Lily felt a tear escape her eye. She didn't want to be alone anymore. Suddenly her dad entered the room adjusting his dress robes.

" Delphina, we've got to leave soon," her dad announced as he adjusted the button on his right sleeve. He saw Lily and paused.

" Lillian what are you doing here? Mummy and daddy have to leave soon," her dad explained. Lily wrinkled her nose at her dad's nickname. She almost hated the name Lillian as much as she hated the name Lilium.

" Will she wants to come with us," her mum explained. Lily sniffed and pouted at her dad. Her dad wore a sympathetic grin and pulled her from her mum's lap.

" Dellie round up the boys. I'll meet up in the entrance hall," he dad said. Lily's mum pressed a kiss to her forehead and left the room. Her dad crouched down and put his arms around Lily's shoulders.

" So what's going on Lillian," her dad said. Lily sniffed and sulked.

" Dad why can't I go to the ball. I'm always alone and no one keeps me company," Lily complained.

" Lily balls are for people who've entered society. You're too young to go," her dad explained. Lily exasperatedly glared at him.

" Dad I'm always in this house! Why can't I go to one ball," Lily begged. Her dad grabbed her left hand and held it.

" Lily you have a duty. You must abide by the rules of society, no matter how ridiculous they are. You have to bring honor and respect to our family," her dad finished. Her dad kissed her cheek and stood.

" We will be back late in the night Lillian so have a good day," her dad said. Lily nodded and walked down stairs with them. All of her brothers were there, even Julius who was an adult. Lily watched them leave with a glum expression. When the hall was empty and she was alone Lily went up to her room.

She had a plan, one that she thought was a good idea but it really wasn't. Lily quickly changed into a pair of dress robes. She checked her image in the mirror and smiled. She looked good. Lily had an aurora of confidence that made her look at least eleven, the passing age for the ball.

She smiled and shouted to the house elves that she was going outside to practice Quidditch. Lily quickly made her way through the backyard of the Gastor Manor and reached the Quidditch Pitch. She rummaged through the broom shed and pulled out Cassius's Cleansweep. She jumped on it and flew up.

Unlike other kids her age, Lily seemed fearless. She wasn't afraid of the dark of heights. Bugs didn't make her shriek with disgust. So when she flew out of her family Quidditch pitch high in the sky, she smiled. Lily had a vague idea of where the Rosier Manor was. This year, the ball was held at the Rosier Manor following the rotating cycle. It was close to Devon, which normally would be a 12-hour flight, but since Cassius had enchanted his broom, it would take an hour.

Lily felt so free. She was breaking out of her tower without her prince. Lily leaned against the hard wood of the broom and it rocketed across the sky. She could feel wind hitting her hair and robes, but she loved it. Even when she was nine Lily knew that she loved flying. She loved seeing the world below her and the small twinkling lights of cities.

Snow hit her but she didn't care. Lily's hands started to slip on the broom, but she didn't fear. A gust of chilled wind brushed her cheeks but she couldn't care any less.

Lily bit her lip and looked down. She flew closer to the ground and could see a sign announcing that she had entered Devon. Lily internally thanked her tutor for making her memorize where each pureblood estate was. She flew lower and saw the familiar Rosier roses coming into view.

Lily smiled and flew over the Manor. She landed in the garden and hid the broom behind a bush of white roses. After adjusting her hair and robes Lily entered the ball.

She felt a mask mold itself to her face. The ball was always a masquerade theme according to Lily's society textbook.

Lily entered the ball and gasped. There were so many people here. People milled in and out of the room. Some were dancing; others were conversing. Lily could hear conversations and the music. It was amazing; it was freedom.

Lily wore a wide grin and crossed the ballroom. She stood near the music and listen to the dulcet tones. Lily loved music so much. Her parents had forced each of the Gastor children into piano lessons and Lily was the only one who still played.

" Chopin's Waltz, it's a decent piece a little overdone though," a voice mused from behind her. Lily turned and saw a boy her age. His hair was a chaotic mess and hazel eyes peaked out from behind a gold mask.

" It's a lovely piece," Lily countered. The boy raised a hand and ran it through his hair.

" I think that maybe it was once nice. Now it's tacky and overdone," the boy answered. Lily pursed her lips and stared at the boy. He spoke with a cocky tone, something Lily hated. But he didn't leave. He watched Lily with a shy smile.

" Do you want to dance," the boy stuttered. Lily looked at him curiously and saw that a light pink tinge covered his cheeks. She scoffed at him.

" I though you said the music was tacky," Lily prompted. The boy grinned and extended a hand to her.

" Not if we're the ones dancing to it. Those eyes of yours could make the most overdone music come to life," the boy answered. Lily smiled, but noticed his suave tone. She looked at his gloved hand and sighed.

" Fine," Lily mumbled. She took the boy's hand and went to the dance floor with him. She felt her heart almost relax when she touched the boy. Lily wondered who he was.

He held her lightly by the waist and they turned through the ball. The tops of their heads barely reached the arms of the couples around them. Lily felt the boy extend a hand and tap the melody to the song against her hip. It felt oddly comforting.

They didn't speak, because they did not need to. Lily felt so at peace and calm when this dark-haired boy held her. She was a few inches shorter than him. Her head reached the tip of his nose. She caught him glancing at her hair and eyes.

" You look like Christmas," the boy said. Lily looked at him curiously.

" Your hair and eyes; even your dress and mask. You're a green and red dream," the boy explained. Lily nodded and looked at him. He wore a pair of black dress robes and gloves. His mask was a rick gold that reminded her of her brother's eyes.

Lily heard the song end and the boy let go of her. She felt disappointed that their dance was over. He led her to a table filled with pastries. He stopped walking and Lily bumped into him. SHe tried to move but couldn't. Lily looked up in shock and he turned around to face her. She paled when she saw the enchanted green fern over them. He saw where she was looking and looked up.

" Mistletoe," the boy whispered. Lily nodded and looked down. He looked at her and gulped. Lily had never kissed anyone before, but this was enchanted Mistletoe; the only way to get out from under it was to kiss the person you were with. Lily looked at the boy shyly and felt a blush creep up her throat. He smiled a light grin and leaned forward. Lily did the same and their lips met in a short peck that lasted for less than a second. He tasted like peppermint and green apples. Lily had given her first kiss to a complete and utter stranger.

The boy had a curious edge to his eyes as he looked down at Lily, but before he could speak a pair of hands grabbed Lily. She felt someone drag her out of the room and looked up. It was Julius and he wore an angry expression on his face.

The boy stared at her in confusion and she mouthed good-bye. The last thing she saw in the room was his hazel eyes. Julius harshly dragged her and Lily could barely keep up. He opened a door and shoved her inside. He then closed it behind him and turned to her.

" Lily what are you doing here," he exclaimed. Lily looked down and pouted.

" I didn't want to be alone anymore,' she replied. Julius wore a disappointed expression.

" Do you have any idea what would have happened if anyone found out who you are? Our name would have been tarnished. Mum and dad wouldn't be able to find a suitable husband for you," Julius scolded. Lily felt anger tighten in her stomach.

" I don't care anymore! I don't care about my bloody future husband anymore. Julius I'm a prisoner to our society. I can't leave my own house thanks to some horrible rule," Lily exclaimed. Her brother pursed his lips.

" Lily you're too young to understand your place. I'm going to get dad and mum to take you home now," Julius finished. Lily felt something strange.

Her heart frantically thudded against her chest. She didn't want to go back yet. She had a taste of freedom and she wanted it. Something stirred inside of her. Lily gasped when she felt it. It was a powerful beast that scared her.

Lily felt it wake and roar. She winced from its power. Suddenly it grabbed her. It fought her for control. Lily felt it hit her and demand for control. She let out a groan as she tried to shove it away. Something seemed off about it, it was a horrible force of destruction.

Julius watched her apprehensively. His hand tightened around his wand and he looked down at her.

" Throwing a tantrum will not get you anywhere," he sneered. Lily fell to the floor in pain. This beast inside of her was winning. Lily felt something dark about it, it wouldn't stop if it got control. Lily let out a scream as she kicked it away weakly. But she was tired and it was winning.

Julius took his wand out and muttered a spell. Fear hit Lily as the spell inched closer to her. Right before it hit her, the beast inside her got control. It swiped at the spell and sent it ricocheting back at Julius. Julius ducked and a ball of fire hit the wall behind him.

" Lily what are you doing," he demanded. Lily could barely move. The monster inside her took control and forced her to stand. Lily watched in horror as her hands were engulfed in flames.

Julius bolted from the room. Lily could see that the fire had spread. It was closing in on her. She heard a bang and looked up. Her parents stood in the doorway with Julius standing behind them. Her mum watched her with a horrified expression. Her dad took his wand out and a spell shot out of it.

The monster inside of Lily screeched and retreated as the spell hit her. Lily grabbed control and blinked. She collapsed and choked for air. Fire and smoke circled the air around her as she passed out.

When Lily woke she was in her room. A tall man with a beard sat near her bed. She could see her parents standing by her book-covered desk. Lily sat up and got their attention. She could see fear and worry on her mum's face and disappointment on her father's.

" Lily what were you doing at that ball? I specifically told you that you could not go," her dad exclaimed. Lily looked down and stared at her hands.

" I didn't want to be alone anymore," Lily answered. Her dad sighed and turned to the elderly man near her.

" Lily this is a very trusted man. His name is Albus Dumbledore," her dad said. Lily looked up and saw a pair of blue eyes twinkling.

" Hello Miss Gastor. I am Professor Dumbledore. I'm the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," the man proclaimed. He held out a hand for Lily and she shook it.

" Hello Professor Dumbledore. I'm Lily Gastor. I'm also the princess who didn't need a prince to escape her tower," Lily said with a grin. Dumbledore beamed at her.

" William, Delphina I think it would be better for me to do this if you were not in the room," Dumbledore explained. Lily watched her parents nod and leave the room. They closed the door behind them.

" Now Miss Gastor can you explain to me what happened at the ball," Professor Dumbledore asked. Lily nodded and told him about how she didn't want to be alone. She told him about how she snuck into the ball and danced with a boy. She told him about what happened in that room.

" Miss Gastor what was it like when this beast took over you," Dumbledore questioned. Lily bit her lip and answered.

" I felt this monster wake inside of me. It felt really strong and suddenly it started fighting me. I knew what it wanted; it wanted control and I lost the fight for it. I remember seeing it light that room in the Rosier Manor on fire. My dad came in and shot some spell at me that made the monster cower. It let go of control and I took it. Then I blacked out. What happened after I fainted," Lily announced.

" I believe your parents sorted out the room and placed obliviation spells on the people who didn't know about you previous to this day. Then they rounded up your brothers and left the ball. They contacted me to see you," Dumbledore explained. Lily nodded and watched him.

" Miss Gastor this monster you described what it is may upset you. You have a strong sense for magic. That beast was your magic in its purest and raw form. Magic is really chaos warped to fit our needs," Dumbledore elucidated.

" But if I can't control my magic how can I even be a proper witch," Lily beseeched. She didn't want to live in ear of what her magic could do.

" You must learn to fight it and tame it. I will speak to your parents about some steps if you'll excuse me," Dumbledore asked. Lily nodded and watched him leave. A few minutes after he left, Lily leaned her ear against the door and heard muffled voices.

" As I said; if she doesn't learn to tame her magic then it will never be controlled. Outbursts like this will seen minuscule to the real damage it could do," Dumbledore started.

" What can we do for her," her mum asked. Lily pressed against the wood and breathed softly.

" There are two options. One, we could remove the magic from her, but that is a dangerous procedure. She could either die or become a squib," Dumbledore stated.

" Absolutely not. I won't have a squib for a daughter," her dad said. Lily licked her lips and listened.

" The other option is less severe. I happen to know of someone who can teach her how to tame her magic and use it safely," Dumbledore said.

" Why didn't you start with that," her mum said relieved.

" My friend doesn't live in England. She works in the Athenian School for Socery. Her family had a case similar to your daughter's, but it was less severe. If anyone could teach Lily how to control her magic it would be her. This could also take several years," Dumbledore explained.

" We'll do it Professor Dumbledore. I'm willing for her to go to that school instead of Hogwarts," her dad replied.

" Will what about her arrangement? We can't back out of it now, we made an unbreakable vow," her mum exclaimed. Lily heard the voices speak softer and couldn't hear them. She shoved her ear closer to the door and still couldn't hear anything.

Lily knew that she would have an arranged marriage. All pureblood girls were expected to have one. Yet, she didn't think that her parents would plan one so quickly.

" So it's settled Lily will be sent to Athens until she is able to control her magic," her dad finished. Lily gasped; she didn't want to go to Greece! Even if her parents and brothers were never around, even if she was a prisoner she wanted to stay in England. England was her home.

Lily moved to her bed and pretended to sleep. She heard her door open and someone walked in. She heard the person whisper something, but she didn't know what it was. In fact as the spell the castor whispered hit her she forgot everything that had happened, that is until one early May morning seven years later.

_Flashback ends_

Lily gasped when she felt memories she didn't remember return to her. She knew what happened; someone had it her with an obliviation spell that lasted for seven years. Lily's eyelids fluttered when she was done reliving those lost memories.

Before that day in the Quidditch pitch, Lily had felt something restrict her memories from the day she was banished from England. But now she could remember the horror and fury she felt that day. She could remember how she lost control and let magic take over for the first time in her life.

" Lily what are we doing," Michael groaned. He took a step back and wore a defeated expression. Lily could see the horror and sadness in his expression. He didn't want to fight with her. She didn't want to fight with him.

" It's fine Michael. You and I are under a lot of stress. Actually fighting with you was the most stress relieving activity I've done in weeks," Lily explained. Michael's face lit up. Lily knew that Michael Wood could only be a friend to her, but he could be a great one.

" I guess you're right. Let's head in before the Prewitts eat all the muffins," Michael announced with a goofy grin. Lily nodded and they picked up their Quidditch gear. The two walked to the castle with a mist of peace surrounding them.

" Benjy was attacked," Frank said gruffly. Lily's eyes widened in shock and she looked up from her homework.

" What are you talking about," Michael asked. Lily could see sadness in Frank's eyes.

" Last night he was patrolling. His partner is ill so he decided to do it alone. Some Slytherins jumped him and attacked him. He is in the hospital wing right now. Pomfrey is not letting anyone in," Frank explained.

Lily sucked in a breath. Benjy Fenwick, the goofy and smart boy didn't deserve this.

" Why would they attack him? He's a half blood," Alice asked. Lily's eyes glanced at Alice. She could see worry and pain on her face.

" I dunno. Dumbledore's worried. I think he's planning on enforcing patrols in pairs," Frank answered. Lily nodded and looked down at her Charms homework. There was no way she could do it now. Lily sighed and piled her remaining homework up.

" Mum won't tell me much, but I heard that the Wizengamot is pressing for a new Minister. They're saying that Bagnold can't keep up," Adam announced.

" Isn't the Wizengamot mostly purists though," Fabian asked. Adam nodded.

" Dad works in the auror department. He's confined to the strategic division after an attack last year where he lost half his leg. He told me that the purists are in a frenzy. They're not being quiet anymore," Adam continued.

" What else can they do? They've attacked innocent muggles and wizards," Gideon spoke up. Lily looked around the common room. Every person wore the same expression of unawareness.

" I don't know, but what ever it is, it will be bad," Marlene finished. Lily nodded and shivered at the thought of not knowing what was coming next. She heard the bell ring indicating that their free period had ended. She and Marlene grabbed their bags and headed to the divination tower.

" Lily I'm worried about Adam," Marlene said suddenly. Lily looked up and saw dread in her eyes.

" It's strange. He and Frank sure do know a lot more about things than we do. Fabian told me that sometimes they don't return to the dorm," Marlene continued.

" Maybe it's the homework load," Lily suggested. Marlene gulped as they reached the staircase to the tower.

" I hope so cause he's acting awfully similar to how the 7th years behaved last year," Marlene finished. Lily wondered if Frank and Adam were doing a lot more than they let on.

She didn't speak; instead she let silence cover her and Marlene as they walked up to the classroom. Lily was hit with the scent of lavender and tea when they reached the classroom. She and Marlene made their way over to the back table where they sat.

Neither of them spoke, something about what Frank had said was making them silent. Abruptly, a loud laugh broke their reveries. Lily looked up and saw the Marauders sitting in their seats. The few Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff girls who had chosen to take this class surrounded them.

Lily watched Potter and Jason. How could they be so light? She could still feel the burden of her parents and Darcy Auclair's death on her. Jason seemed happy, she noticed. But it was Potter that disturbed her.

He looked pained behind each laugh. Every smile and grin was forced and stiff. She wondered in any of his friends noticed this. She looked to her bag and pulled her notes out.

" Hey Evans, I told you that you would pay for punching me and getting Sirius and I suspended," Potter announced. Silence filled the room as Lily looked up.

" What are you talking about," she asked in a confused tone. Potter let out a cold bark of laughter. The other Marauders watched them.

" Well your little half-blood friend let's say that those unknown attackers weren't so unknown," Potter sneered. Lily paled and realized what was happening. She felt so stupid for thinking that she could beat Potter and his gang of idiots. For every blow she delivered to them. They were going to pass it on to one of her friends.

Lily broke eye contact with Potter and pressed her hands together. She couldn't fight back anymore; she had to take whatever he or any of his friends threw at her.

" Marlee we'll just stick to the usual red and gold nail polish," Emmeline said. Lily smiled and watched Marlene pout.

" It's too boring. I read about this spell in Witch Weekly that'll paint a lion on your nails! It roars for merlin's sake," Marlene argued. Lily shuddered at the gaudy idea Marlene had.

" Marlee I don't think that Frank would appreciate lions roaring when I kiss him," Alice pointed out. Lily laughed and Marlene sighed.

" Fine we'll do you bloody normal red and gold idea. But it's boring," Marlene agreed reluctantly. Lily smiled at her and Marlene ran a brush dipped with red nail polish on her fingers.

It was the Friday night before the one week alert for the Quidditch match against Ravenclaw. Emmeline and Alice decided to have a girl's night and Lily had whole-heartedly agreed. Marlene and Lily had just escaped one of Michael's horrible practices.

They had two weeks until the Cup match. Michael had relaxed on the deadly practices enough for Lily to get some sleep at night. But she spent those nights worrying about when the Marauders would attack again.

Lily knew she couldn't ask Jason for help anymore. In fact she spent most of her time avoiding him. She heard a rumor in the girls' restroom about her and Jason that made her want to throw up. Why did people think that she and Jason were doing something other than arguing?

" What do you think about me with curly hair," Marlene asked. Lily turned and saw that Marlene had finished her nails and begun her own. Lily placed her hands on the table and bit her lip.

" I'm afraid to tell you that curly hair isn't worth it," Emmeline announced. Lily grinned and glanced at Emmeline's chestnut corkscrew curls.

" I know but my hair is so boring. You've got curls. Alice has that whole honey blonde blue-eyed girl next-door look. Even Lils has that amazing blood-red hair. Mine is just plain pin straight black," Marlene explained. Lily's eyebrows rose in amusement at the comment about Alice. She had explained the plot to several of her favorite muggle movies to Marlene during History of Magic and Marlene decided that one day she would have to watch one of those muggle movies.

" Marlee my hair is a frizzy mess," Emmeline complained. Lily watched her blow on her nails as she stood.

" Marlee you've got that whole black hair electric eyed rocker girl going," Lily suggested. Marlene grinned remembering one of the movies they watched.

" I guess so," Marlene begrudgingly agreed. Lily tapped her fingernails and saw that they were dry. She turned to Marlene and grabbed her hair. Marlene had long hair, the type of hair that had to stay in a ponytail or braid to prevent disaster.

Lily used to have long hair. She had hair that touched the tip of her lower back in curls. When she was sent to France Lily decided to cut it. She never really like long hair but her mum loved it. When Lily fell from society; she decided to rebel one last time.

" Lils! Lily," a voice shouted. Lily turned and saw Marlene smirking at her. She blushed and mumbled hello.

" You've been spacing out a lot lately," Emmeline commented. Marlene made a noise of agreement and Lily used Marlene's long hair to whack her in the face.

" Calm down Evans. You're that red-head that makes the temper theory true," Marlene muttered. Lily wrinkled her nose. She didn't appreciate red heads having temper comments.

" One month left and we're done," Marlene sighed. Lily nimbly moved her fingers through Marlene's hair and started a Dutch braid.

" But you lot have to wait until August to get the results," Alice commented.

" Don't be a buzz kill Alice," Lily chided. Marlene nodded with Lily. Lily finished Marlene's braid and quickly slung a hairband through it.

" Who do you think is going to be head girl next year," Emmeline said suddenly. Lily looked at her and saw a gleam in her eye.

" Well Cassius Gastor has headboy in the bag. His family hasn't gone a single person not being headboy," Marlene announced. Lily nodded. She didn't know if her brothers actually deserved the position or if they bribed the school board.

" It won't be Natasha Goyle for headgirl. I heard she lost her prefect badge for getting caught with selling firewhiskey illegally," Lily added. She didn't know how quiet timid Natasha Goyle could do something like that though. She suspected it was an ill prank or blackmail.

" Susan Bulstrode from Ravenclaw is out. She's only prefect since she doesn't moon over the Marauders like the other girls do," Alice calculated. Lily nodded; Susan was from a strict pureblood family, one that enforced virginity until marriage. Yet she wasn't made out for leadership at all.

" I think it could be Alice," Marlene announced. Lily made a noise of agreement. Alice Prewitt was a brave girl. She did well in school and maintained good relations with younger students through tutoring. Alice wouldn't tolerate misbehaving prefects also.

" I dunno, Amelia Bones is better fit for the role than I'll ever be," Alice commented.

" Alice, Amelia isn't the brightest student out there," Lily said.

" Yeah and she may be kind to younger students but all Hufflepuffs are," Marlene added.

" If we didn't live during this war then it could go either way. But Dumbledore is looking for someone who can show guidance and leadership. Alice that's you," Emmeline declared. Lily saw Alice blushed and mumble thanks. Sensing that Alice was uncomfortable with this topic, Lily spoke up.

" Emmeline can you help me with a bit of Transfiguration homework. I'm not doing so well with the Vanishing Spell," Lily said. She didn't miss the thankful look Alice shot her as Emmeline walked over to her.

" I'm fine. Honestly I can't remember most of what happened. All I remember is waking up in the hospital wing with a killer headache," Benjy reassured. Marlene pursed her lips but didn't press for more answers.

" Well we're glad you're back Fenwick. I was worried that Michael would fail his OWLS if no one was there to make him study," Alice teased. Lily laughed with the rest of her friends as Michael stared indignantly at Alice.

Benjy had been released from the Hospital Wing right before dinner started on Monday. Lily analyzed him with a guilty expression. His injuries had mostly healed, but she could see the ghosts of bruises on his face and arms.

" You'll be thanking me when we win the match," Michael huffed. Lily watched the Gryffindors interact with an amused expression. Even though Michael had betrayed them so harshly, it took two months for them to forgive him. She wondered if they would be so forgiving if the war weren't around. Maybe they were just taking Dumbledore's words to heart.

" Wood with the practices we've had, I think we can win the game blindfolded," Gideon scoffed. Lily let out a soft peal of laughter and took a bite of the orange she had on her plate. Almost instinctively, she turned around expecting to see a pair of eyes staring at her. But there wasn't any. Lily sighed and faced her friends.

" Looks like the owls are coming in. I heard that Dumbledore is letting them come at all meals," Fabian stated. Lily looked up and smiled when she saw that there weren't any ministry owls in the air. She did notice a small owl flying to her. It dropped a note on her plate which she grabbed. Lily's face paled as she worked through the letter.

_Evans,_

_Fenwick was for punching me. Let's see whose going next… Meet me in the abandoned classroom near Slughorn's room at 11._

_James Potter_

Lily looked up and turned. Potter was watching her with an evil grin. She glared at him and turned. Lily never felt more helpless. If she fought back then more of her friends would get hurt.

She had to do something. She couldn't let Potter hurt one more person. Lily heard the bell ring and barely registered Marlene dragging her to the library. Lily had a plan a plan that could risk her life but she had to do it. Lily sat with Marlene in the library.

She couldn't do any work; she was too anxious. Lily watched Marlene work on a DADA paper and drummed her fingers against the wood of the table. When curfew approached Lily and Marlene packed up. She dropped her bag off in her dorm and went to the Common Room to meet Kingsley for patrol.

Lily was shaking as she and Kingsley walked through the dungeons. She answered his questions with short one or two word responses.

" Kingsley I'm going to go patrol near Slughorn's. It'll take less time," Lily suggested. Kingsley seemed distracted by something, to Lily's immense luck, and told her to be careful.

Lily quickly walked through the dungeon. Her stomach spun from her nervousness. When Lily found the empty classroom she steadied herself. Once she was calm enough, Lily opened the door and entered the classroom.

She could see Potter's physique leaning against a desk and looking away from her. He turned as Lily closed the door and began to walk towards her.

" No don't come any closer," Lily ordered. She took her wand out and pointed it at Potter. His mouth stretched into a grin.

" I don't think I will Evans. If you try anything, well let's say that another one of your friends will end up in the hospital wing," Potter cackled. Lily dropped her wand to her side in defeat. Potter walked up to her and stopped when there was a foot between them.

" Why did you ask me to come," Lily questioned. Potter ran a hand through his hair and watched her with a leer.

" That's not any of your business Evans. Let me ask you something, why did you come," Potter answered.

" You're harming my friends, it's not like you gave me a choice," Lily shot back. Potter let out a bark of cold laughter.

" The truth please," he asked. Lily's cheeks flooded a vivid red as she slumped against the wood of the door.

" I came to bargain," Lily muttered. Potter's eyes lit up with thinly concealed amusement.

" Go on," he said with a wicked smirk. Lily knew she was giving up any trace of self-respect she had.

" I'll do something for you if you leave my friends alone. And same goes for your death eater friends," Lily bartered. Potter stood straight and leaned forward. His face was inches from Lily's.

" I dunno Evans. what can you give me that I don't have," Potter listed. Lily was so desperate. She couldn't imagine seeing the same bruises that Benjy had on Marlene's or Michael's or even Frank's faces.

" Anything you want," Lily said with a desperate expression. Potter's eyes flashed with a bolt of victory.

" Deal," he said with an agonizing grin. Lily waited for him to say what he wanted, but he never did.

" You never said when Evans. I'll take that favor when I want to, and it'll be something that will make you pay for every little blow you've passed to me or my friends," Potter jeered with a victorious grin.

" It's better me than my friends," Lily said. Potter's face flashed with something. But it quickly disappeared.

" You can leave now, I'm bored with you," Potter finished. Lily curled her lips and turned to the door. She knew that she was a fighter. She wanted to fight and battle to protect the world. But sometimes fighting wasn't enough. Sometimes it took a couple of words and a hand shake to save the world.

" May 23rd do you know what today is," a voice said. Lily turned and smiled. She could recognize the deep voice of Michael Wood from a mile away. Her fingers may have been covered in ink stains. Her face may have held the troubles of her life. Her heart may bear the burdens she carried. But her smile showed the world that she was happy.

The world was still in turmoil. She may have had OWLS in a month and an upcoming match in less than a week but she was happy. The Marauders seemed to have forgotten her for the past week. Potter didn't speak about what she bargained, but he left her friends alone. Death eater activities were at an all time low for the past five months. Lily was happy.

" So what's today," Lily asked with a light grin. She could feel the sun beating down on her and Michael. They had broken off from their group in Hogsmeade. She wanted to enjoy the sun and the warm spring atmosphere and Michael offered to take her to a field nearby the village.

" Well Miss Evans today marks an important event. You see in about thirty minutes Fabian Prewitt is going to kiss Marlene McKinnon," Michael said with a beam. Lily sat up and cheered.

" Seriously? How do you know," Lily asked. Michael sat up from the grassy plain they were resting on and shrugged.

" He's been planning this for weeks. The bloke's been drooling after her for two years. It's about time he gets some balls," Michael explained. Lily smiled and leaned up on her hands.

" Well this calls for a cheer," she said. Lily grabbed two bottle of butterbeer from next to her and handed one to Michael. He took it and she held hers in the air.

" To Fabian getting balls," Michael cheered. Lily gave him an amused stare and clinked her bottle against his. She opened it and felt the firework-like taste of butterbeer warm her. Lily looked at Michael and saw that he was pealing the wrapping of the bottle.

" School ends in six weeks," he commented. Lily nodded and took a swing of her drink.

" Yeah I guess it does," she said. Michael glanced at her smiled.

" You've got a way with words Evans," he teased. Lily felt a blush crawl up her cheeks and she shoved him. He let out a deep laugh and continued.

" I'm going to my family's house. It's actually nearby, almost an hour away traveling the muggle way," Michael said. Lily wondered what she would do this summer.

" I dunno what I'm going to do. Most of our friends live in West Country. I've got a house in London so I guess it'll be a summer of long letters," Lily commented. She could always fly to meet up with her friends, but Lily had work for the summer. She had to stop pushing away her parents' death and find out what really happened.

" You're not staying with your brothers," Michael asked. Lily sighed. Michael was the only person other than her brothers, Dumbledore, Selena, and Benjy who knew who she really was. If her Uncle Darcy's spell worked out than everyone else had forgotten who she really was.

Lily thought about Selena for a moment. She met Selena Kingsmill when she first came to Greece. She stayed with her mum's parents in their villa by the seaside of Athens. Selena's family owned the villa closest to her grandparent's house. Lily met Selena at the beach and found out that Selena's mother used to be close friends with her mum. Mrs. Kingsmill attended the Athenian School for Sorcery with her mum.

Lily ended up going to the school with Selena. The two were best friends until Lily's fall from society, yet Selena still wrote to her. Lily remembered hearing about Mrs. Kingsmill falling to sickness. She felt horrible for not writing to Selena in such a long time.

Lily made a mental note to write to her friend. She looked up to Michael and wore an apologetic expression for zoning out.

" No I'd rather not deal with them. Remember who Darcy Auclair was? Well he left me a house in his will. I stayed there during Easter break, so I'll stay there for the summer," Lily explained. Michael made a nose of agreement and silence fell over them.

Lily remembered the warm spring day a few weeks ago when she explained everything to Michael. Lily told him about her life, about her life as a pureblood, how she was banished, and the beautiful beaches in Greece. She skirted around her fall from her family by telling him about the starry sky of France. Michael's arms held her and he stared at her with an amazed glint in his eyes.

Michael told her about his parents. He started in a soft tone but with Lily's coaxing eyes he spoke more securely. Lily watched him tell her about the Quidditch games his parents took him to, he manor house he was raised in, and the scenic Scottish hills and forests. She listened and listened; Lily learned who the real Michael Wood really was.

Finding out whom he was made Lily forgive him, that April day. She knew that they would only be friends. He didn't have a spark that she needed. Michael wasn't the fiery passion she wanted, but then who was?

A name popped in her head and Lily internally groaned. She found the fire and the passion she searched for with someone. Yet she hated him and he hated her. James Potter was a manipulative arse that Lily could not stand. She pushed the idea of him being the passion she was looking for.

" Don't worry Lils, Marlee usually sneaks along with her dad to the Ministry. You can hang out with her," Michael soothed. Lily grinned and wondered what Michael would do.

" What about you? Doesn't it get lonely in the highlands," Lily teased. Michael grinned and stretched up.

" I live near Edinburgh. Lots of muggle girls to flirt with," he joked. Lily looked at him with an entertained expression. She checked her watch and smiled.

" Looks like Fabian has snogged Marlee," Lily announced. She stood and Michael packed all the things they brought with them. She walked with him towards the pathway and started for the castle.

" Did you finish that paper for Binns," he asked. Lily groaned and kicked a pebble near her.

" Nope I did finish the Transfiguration and Charms assignments though," Lily said. She wrinkled her nose at the long hours she spent working in the library. Remus had stopped sending her confused glances and avoided her. She missed his helpful insights on homework assignments. Working with Marlene was fun, but she preferred actually getting work done instead of debating the finer melodies of the Weird Sisters. Marlene had managed to get some tickets to a concert in July and Lily was looking forward to it. She hadn't though about music in such a long time.

Her hands tapped against her leg. She used to play the piano so much. But after her parents died she never got around to it. Lily hadn't even gotten a piano for her house in London and she all together avoided the music room in the Gastor Manor.

She could feel old concertos and symphonies as her fingers played them against her leg. Michael didn't speak and she didn't. Lily could make out the scenic castle in front of them. She was going to miss it, but Lily wasn't planning on going back to Greece or France no she was staying here.

Thinking of France reminded her of Benedict. It felt strange to think of him as Benedict Auclair instead of Benjy but she couldn't think of him as Benjy anymore. He betrayed her and she couldn't think about him. What scared her most was that she had been barely able to duel him; and that was with him going easy on her. She had to rely on her magic to get her out.

Lily didn't like to think about the lessons she went through to control her magic. It was embarrassing. Eleven year olds had more control over their magic then she did. Sometimes Lily felt fear shoot up through her when she performed magic. It scared her to hear the beast roar. But she didn't have to be afraid anymore. She wasn't a timid child, she was stronger; she had control over her magic.

" Well it looks like I have an essay to write," Michael said interrupting Lily's train of thought. She blushed and scolded herself for blanking out so much lately.

" You better write it. No Quidditch strategizing or drill planning. The game is in a week, if we're not prepared by now then we won't be by the time the match arrives," Lily pointed out. Michael nodded and started climbing the staircase to Gryffindor Tower.

"I guess you're right. Besides Ravenclaw's seeker is Justin Davies and he's like a log," Michael teased. Lily nodded and said the password to the portrait of the fat lady. She stepped inside and Michael followed her.

A sight made Lily freeze. She looked at Michael with a grin and walked towards the couches near the fireplace. Alice saw her and wore a grin. Michael followed her quietly and they snuck around one couch. Lily sat on the floor in front of the couch that Alice, Frank, Benjy, and Gideon were resting on. Adam and Emmeline sat in a one-seat couch, squeezed together.

Lily cleared her throat loudly and the occupants of the seat to her left jumped apart, finishing their kiss.

" So when were you going to tell me about this Marlee," Lily asked with a curious grin. Marlene blushed and Fabian coughed. Marlene leaned off of Fabian and faced Lily. Before she could speak Michael interrupted them.

" Oi Fenwick pay up! I told you that Prewitt would snog McKinnon today," Michael chortled. Benjy begrudgingly handed over a galleon, which Michael pocketed.

" You betted on when they would snog," Emmeline said with an amused laugh. Michael nodded with a smirk. Fabian and Marlene blushed. Lily grinned at Marlene's face.

" I was right, you're going to be the one with a Quidditch team of ginger monsters," Lily teased. Fabian coughed suddenly and Marlene groaned.

" Lily we just started dating," Marlene managed to choke out. Alice grinned, Lily had never seen such a playful expression on her face.

" I'm expecting to be a bridesmaid," Alice goaded. Emmeline agreed and Lily burst into a string of laughter with Gideon.

" Oi Fabian, I better be the best man. Longbottom doesn't deserve it," Gideon pestered. Fabian whacked him while he laughed. Frank wore an amused expression.

" Gid we all know that I'm going to be Adam's best man when he and Emmeline tie the knot," Frank mockingly scolded. Adam shot up and stuttered.

" Emmeline and I aren't getting married anytime soon," he muttered. Lily watched his face turn a tomato red and Emmeline ducked behind her arm to hide her blush.

" Oh that's a load of rubbish McKinnon. We all know that you'll get pregnant at Alice and Frank's wedding and tie the knot within a month to avoid Mrs. McKinnon's wrath," Benjy teased. Lily couldn't control her laughter. Her sides ached from the loud snickers that escaped her mouth. Adam took one look at Frank and burst into laughter.

Lily could hear the different laughs of her friends around her. Some were deep guffaws that vibrated. Some were echoing high-pitched chortles that blended into the deeper laughs. Some were contagious poorly concealed giggles. The grins and movement of leaning a head back warped some.

Even though all of their laughs were different, Lily decided that this music that they created was better than any Weird Sister concert or music in the world.

Lily tightened her braid and looked in the mirror. She was wearing a pair of athletic short and a gold t-shirt. Lily grabbed her wand and broom from her bed and waited for Marlene to finishing lacing her shoes on. Lily saw some muggle face pain and smiled with an idea. As Marlene looked up, she let out a chuckle.

" Don't muggles wear that for sports games," she grinned. Lily nodded and examined the two black stripes on her cheeks.

" A little war paint never hurt anyone," Lily shrugged. She tossed is to Marlene who quickly drew two thick lines on her cheeks. The other Gryffindors had already left for breakfast. It was the morning of the Quidditch Cup match. Lily had a good night's sleep thanks to a new dreamless sleep potion she found.

" Let's go," Marlene said. Lily nodded and twirled her broom in her hand. The two marched out of Gryffindor Tower and headed to the Great Hall. They were silent and the game loomed in front of them.

Lily tucked her wand inside of her ponytail and tightened her dragon hide seeker gloves. She held her broom parallel to the ground and saw the Great Hall in front of her. When she and Marlene entered the hall cheers broke up from the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor side of the hall. Boos sounded from Slytherin and Ravenclaw.

Lily noticed that this match had more tension riding on it than others. Slytherin worked to prank the Gryffindor team so much that Hufflepuff and Gryffindor students volunteered to walk the members of the Quidditch teams to classes. Michael enforced a curfew on the team after Frank had been jinxed during patrol.

The Marauders were back. Vicious pranks with swirls of brilliance were sent to the Gryffindor team. Lily found herself the target of every single one along with some of her teammates.

Marlene shoved her forward and they walked to the center of the Gryffindor table. Lily was grabbed and forced to sit in between Adam and Gideon. Their large shoulders pressed into her as she grabbed a slice of toast. Michael muttered plays under his breath as he sipped a cup of black coffee.

Lily almost laughed at the things the team was doing. Marlene refused to eat anything but strawberries the morning of a game and was chomping on the red fruit furiously. Fabian had an empty plate in front of him and Gideon's arms were crossed. Frank had Alice eat everything he ate first in case of poisoning. Adam only drank pumpkin juice on the morning of a game.

Lily herself had one superstitious pregame ritual. She had done it since her first game at Beaxabatons. Lily looked around the table and reached over Adam to grab a pomegranate. She took a knife and cut it open with the handle. Lily spent thirty minutes removing the seeds from the fruit without magic and had a bowl of seeds when she was done. She then ate them and crushed the last one left.

She hadn't noticed Alice and Benjy watching her with barely concealed amusement as she quickly tapped the handle of her broom with one of her sticky fingers. Lily quickly said a cleaning spell and turned to Michael.

" The game is going to start in an hour. We're each going to walk to the locker rooms in groups of two or three," Michael started. Lily waited for Marlene to finish a strawberry and the two left the hall. Lily held her wand out and Marlene did the same. They quickly walked through the castle ready for any attacks. When they reached the path to the pitch, Lily relaxed a bit. They were almost at the locker room when hell broke loose.

" Oi McKinnon," a voice said in front of them. Lily had a hex on the tip of her tongue when she saw the cocky form of Sirius Black leaning against the door to the girls' locker room. Marlene muttered for her to put her wand down and Lily reluctantly did so.

" Lily go inside the locker room I'll meet you later," Marlene ordered. Lily twisted her head and gaped at Marlene. Marlene sent her a look that had Lily reluctantly shoving past Black into the locker room.

She didn't eavesdrop on their conversation; Lily couldn't do that to Marlene. Instead Lily changed into her gear and laced her pads up. She was stretching when she heard the door open.

Lily looked up and saw Marlene meekly walking to her locker. She flinched when Marlene slammed the door of her locker shut. Lily wanted to give Marlene some privacy.

" Marlee, I'm going to the meeting room. Meet me there," Lily suggested. Marlene nodded and Lily squeezed her shoulder as she walked out of the locker room. Lily ambled past the boys' locker room and headed to door on the left.

The meeting room was located in the locker room so that teams with both boys and girls could plan before a game. Lily walked into the room and saw that most of the team was already here. Frank looked up at her with a mocking smile.

" You and Marlene left after us and we still finished changing before you," Frank teased. Lily blushed and sat near the window.

" Well we had an alteration with a certain arse. That slowed us down," Lily commented. The other boys looked up and glanced at her curiously.

" Who," Gideon questioned. Lily took a look at Fabian and bit her lip.

" Black," she answered. Fabian tensed up and the rest of the boys sat up alertly.

" What did he want," Adam cautiously asked. Lily crossed her arms and looked at him.

" I dunno. Marlene made me leave and then they talked," Lily responded. Fabian looked at her with a irritated expression.

" Why would you leave Marlene alone with Black," he asked quietly. Lily shifted in her seat ready to respond. But before she could Marlene entered the room. Silence fell over them and she snorted.

" I'm guessing Lily told you," Marlene asked. Michael nodded and Marlene sighed.

" It was nothing. Just Black's typical arse behavior," Marlene said. Lily hardly believed this. Marlene was pale and looked shaken up.

" We'll talk about this later. The match starts in five minutes. Look there isn't much I can say. We've trained for a month. We're ready to win," Michael said. Suddenly the tense atmosphere left replaced by whooping and shouts.

" We'll win this," Adam shouted. Lily nodded and waited for David Chang to call their names out. The Ravenclaws went out first. Time seemed to slow as the seven members of the Gryffindor team waited.

" Now for the Gryffindor team! First we've got the Prewitt twins, Fabian and Gideon. Next we've got the trio of trouble, McKinnon, Longbottom and McKinnon. Following them is the Captain and Keeper Michael Wood. Lastly, but certainly not least is the redhead wonder Lily Evans," David shouted. Lily snorted at his cheesy commentary. She followed Michael out of the room on her broom.

The sunlight was blinding as she took a lap around the pitch. The cheers and boos were deafening. She could make out Alice wearing a Gryffindor sweatshirt in the stands. When Lily finished her lap, she flew down and stood with the rest of the team.

Madame Hooch called Michael and Justin Davies to the middle. Lily flinched at the tight gripped handshake they made. Michael's face was a stone sheet of impassivity. Silence fell over the pitch as Madame Hooch released the quaffle, bludgers, and snitch. Lily saw the small gold form of the snitch dart past her and towards the stands.

Madame Hooch's eyes were on her watch as she waited the mandatory thirty seconds to start a game. Lily moved her broom closer to her for a quick kickoff. As the last seconds ticked off she took one last look at her team. They were ready; she was ready.

" Begin," Madame Hooch announced as she blew sharply on her whistle. Lily leaped on her broom and flew up towards the stands. She could see Michael racing to the hoops and Marlene chasing after the quaffle. A short girl dressed in royal blue and silver followed Frank as he flew closer to Marlene.

Lily heard a wing striking sound near her. She abruptly moved her broom to the side and felt a bludger graze her left leg. She ducked and watched the bludger swoop down.

" Look's like the Ravenclaw Beaters have their sights on Evans," David shouted. Lily gritted her teeth and pushed her broom forward. She could see Justin Davies flying to her right. Lily cut back and flew towards the Ravenclaw hoops. She could hear the crack of a bat on a bludger and pushed forward. Lily was directly in front of the Ravenclaw Keeper when she jutted up. She heard a sickening snap and looked down.

" Sneak move from Evans! Kent seems to be injured but he's holding it in," David commented. Lily felt bad for using a dirty tactic, but if the beaters were focusing on her for the entire game then she could never catch the snitch.

Lily could feel the late may sun beat down on her back. Her uniform was sticky and her forehead was covered in a light layer of sweat. She looked towards the Gryffindor hoops and saw Michael prevent a goal. He threw the quaffle to Frank who sped towards the Ravenclaw hoops.

Lily didn't notice but she was close to the Slytherin stands. She could hear their boisterous booing and shuddered. A flash of gold danced in front of her, before darting to the wooden area below her. Lily flew downwards and followed the snitch.

" Look's like Evans has seen the snitch," David announced. Lily ignored him and reached for the snitch. She felt its soft wings graze the tip of her index finger. Suddenly something hit her directly in the chest and she was pushed backwards into the wall of the stand. Lily cursed and clung to her broom. She had been thrown off by the bludger that had rammed into her chest.

Lily's chest protested as she threw her body on the broom. She swung her legs over and panted. She could feel eyes watching her.

" Evans has been hit. She's still playing," David shouted. Cheers broke out from the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor stands as Lily gingerly flew towards the center of the pitch. She saw a blue and silver clad boy flying obnoxiously near her. He swung his club near her and Lily darted away from it.

She glared at the large boy as she flew to the other end of the pitch. She could see Davies flying close to the ground. Dread filled her as his hand moved out. Lily shoved her broom towards the ground cruelly and zipped towards him.

His mouth was in a concentrated set form. He leaned towards the edge of the broom. Lily was hot on his tail and leaned closer to her broom. The area below her chest screamed in protest as she flew to the left of Davies. She could see the snitch flying, almost teasingly, around Davies.

Davies noticed her and turned red. She felt him shove her and gasped when a bolt of pain lanced through her ribs. Lily clenched her fists around the handle of her broom and edge forward. Suddenly the snitch veered upwards and Lily could see properly in front of her. She scrambled to stop her broom and sloppily stopped it inches away from a solid wood wall. Davies wasn't so lucky.

" Look's like Davies will need a new broom," David shouted. Lily looked to her right and saw that the handle of Davies's broom had smashed into the wall. It broke off in splinters, which he gingerly touched. Lily flew up and back into the center of the game. She could feel an atmosphere of adrenaline and competiveness surround her.

She looked towards the Ravenclaw hoops and saw Adam throw the quaffle towards the right hoop. She watched the Keeper's hand barely graze the ball as it arched through the hoop.

" Ten points to Gryffindor! 70-50 in favor of Ravenclaw," David chimed. Lily cheered with the rest of the pitch and continued her hunt for the snitch. The game had stretched on for the past hour. People were sitting on the edge of their seats waiting for action. The colors of the stands blended together. The clouds swirled into the blue of the sky.

It was hot. Lily licked her chapped lips and flew higher into the sky. She saw a flash of gold and tensed. Lily relaxed when she saw that the gold was only the number on Fabian's uniform. Lily felt a gust of cool wind hit her. She pushed against it and circled the pitch. She could see Marlene intercept a pass between two Ravenclaw chasers and fly to the hoops.

Lily sat up and her broom and stretched her back. She could hear her ribs crack in protest. She touched the area under the left of her chest and hissed. Lily didn't know much about injuries but she was sure that one of her ribs had broken. She moved her hands and tried to put the game before the pain. Lily thought about drills and plays instead of the pain. She looked around the pitch and flinched when she saw a bludger hit the side of Gideon's stomach.

Lily flew to the center of the pitch and darted away from Bludgers. Sometimes a few grazed her. She knew that bruises would paint her skin by tomorrow morning. Lily pushed forward and flew towards a small golden ball. She could hear Davies's ragged breathing from behind her as she leaned half off her broom.

Lily could almost graze the top of the snitch. She bit her lip and propelled her broom forward. The snitch danced in front of her. Suddenly Davies grabbed her broom and hit it. She quickly leaned back and held onto it. Lily shot a glare at Davies who mouthed that it was an accident with a shrug of his shoulders.

She shot one last glare at Davies and sped towards the snitch. This time she went as fast as her broom could go. She could hear Davies struggling to move his broom as quickly as hers. The sounds and colors of the pitch disappeared. David Chang's voice blended into the raucous cheers and shouts around her.

Lily didn't wait she clawed her left hand forward and felt sparks of pain lace into her ribs. She pushed the pain away and closed her fingers around the snitch. She could feel it stop fighting and curl into a ball inside of her fist. Lily stopped her broom and raised her fist to the sky.

Everything that disappeared suddenly appeared. Wild roars filled her ears. Red and gold filled her vision. Lily felt a pair of hands clap her back. She could see Marlene practically jump on Adam's broom and whoop. Michael sat upright on his broom and let a guttural hoot free from his mouth. Lily could see a tear stream out of his eye as he held his fists to the sky.

" Gryffindor wins 230- 120! Evans has caught the snitch! Gryffindor is the Quidditch Cup Victor," David shouts. Lily cheered and flew down to the floor of the pitch. She was immediately enveloped into Marlene's hug and could hear the screams of joy from the Gryffindor house surround her. Gideon and Adam lifted her on their shoulders and cheered. Lily threw her head back and let a laugh out. Her broom was in one of her hands and the snitch in another.

Lily looked around and saw the twinkling eyes of Professor Dumbledore. He tipped his hat to her and she smiled at him. Lily saw Professor McGonagall next to him and almost froze. The strict woman was jumping up and down. She cupped her mouth and cheered. Lily swore that she saw a strand of hair escape her bun.

She saw Michael on Frank and Fabian's shoulders near her and smiled. He looked at her and grinned. Lily jumped off Gideon and Adam's shoulder and managed to squeeze her way to Michael.

He leaned off Frank and Fabian's shoulders and stood in front of her. Lily smiled and showed him the snitch. He grinned and took her hand in his and raised it to the sky.

Lily saw Alice and Emmeline give their boyfriends an embrace and watched as Fabian ruffled Marlene's braid affectionately. Michael looked down at her and she blushed. She didn't know if it was from the sheer euphoria or adrenaline, but Lily leaned up and quickly pecked Michael's cheek. She blushed scarlet and he grinned.

" Party in Gryffindor Tower," Michael shouted. The crowd cheered and Lily saw someone shoot a confetti charm into the air. A rainbow of paper scraps fell down on the mob.

She saw a younger student ask for a team photo and smiled. The cheering mob surrounding them parted and left an open space for the photo. Fabian and Gideon stood in the center and grabbed her.

They raised her on their shoulders and cheered. Adam and Frank stood on their sides holding their brooms up. Marlene stood next to Michael and they carried the huge Trophy. Lily cheered and saw a flash of light that sealed this moment forever.

" I would like to thank my amazing team. We worked to get this and I couldn't imagine a better team to work with," Michael announced. Lily raised her cup of butterbeer to his toast and shouted in agreement.

She pulled the low hem of her dress up and brushed strands of her hair away from her face. If Gryffindors knew how to do something, it would be how to throw a fantastic victory party. She had been to other parties celebrating a win, but nothing compared to this one.

To start, everybody was a tad more dressed up. Instead of wearing a nice shirt and a pair of tight jeans Lily was wearing a dress. It was a rich gold that used to take up wasted space in Marlene's closet. Lily wasn't used to the low necklines and figure hugging dresses that Marlene had, as she preferred a pair of dress robes to this.

Most of the dresses Lily had worn were ball gowns or dress robes; not dance club muggle dresses. Lily wondered how Marlene managed to get this heavy muggle item past her pureblood parents.

Lily's hair tickled the edge of her freshly healed ribs. After the photo Madame Pomfrey had scolded Lily for playing with an injury and quickly healed Lily's broken rib. After that Marlene dragged her to the dorm and they prepared for the victory party.

Lily wanted to wear a nice tank top and a skirt, but Marlene would let her. She grabbed a gold dress from her cupboard and threw it at Lily demanding for her to change. Lily looked at Marlene. She was dancing with Fabian wearing a midnight blue dress. Marlene was taller than her and had a lean physique.

The dress she wore barely stretch passed her underwear and dipped so slow that Lily often had to pull it up. Marlene had pulled her hair out of its braid and made her promise to leave it out. Lily wrinkled her nose; she had to scratch her cheek but Marlene had placed innumerable amounts of make up on her.

Lily sighed and cautiously made her way over to the drinks table on her wedge heels. She didn't think that this outfit was entirely necessary but as Lily looked at the Hufflepuffs and few Ravenclaws who joined them for the party she saw that Marlene was right.

A few people congratulated her and she was forced to make small talk with them. It took Lily ten minutes to get to the drinks table. She reached for a bottle of butterbeer but someone interrupted her.

" Only you would choose butterbeer over firewhiskey," a voice teased. Lily looked up and saw that Michael was leaning on the edge of the table with a red cup in his hands. She could smell alcohol creep out of his mouth.

" Well we're not legal yet," Lily answered. She looked around the room and noticed, with a blush that ever since the younger kids had been forced to leave an hour ago, she was the only person to go near the butterbeer. Even Marlene and Benjy had cups of firewhiskey and mulled mead near them.

" Evans we just won the Quidditch Final, I think it's okay to have a glass of firewhiskey," Michael countered. Lily shoved him and grabbed the butterbeer.

" I think I can go another year waiting to be legal. Besides McGonagall will eventually come down and see the stash of firewhiskey you have here," Lily pointed out. Michael took a swing of his drink and shook his head.

" Nope Minnie is out in Hogsmeade partying. Gideon, Fabian, and Adam almost got caught bringing the drinks and food when they were walking through Hogsmeade," Michael said. Lily nodded. Of course they would get the food from Hogsmeade; the house elves may be nice but she wasn't sure that they would let them take firewhiskey from the Kitchens.

Lily knew where the Kitchens were, she just didn't know how to get in. When Jason showed her the map she looked down and saw the label for the Kitchens near the Hufflepuff Common Room.

During patrol she tried to enter it, but to her dismay there was a large portrait of a bowl of fruit instead of a door to the Kitchens. Lily didn't know if there was some sort of password or wand motion needed to enter it, but finding out would take too much time.

Lily glanced at Michael. His hair was wet and he smelled like coffee and oak. Lily wondered if boys had some potion or if there was a spell they used to get that rugged smell. He wore a pair of khaki shorts and a short sleeve button down shirt. Lily could see a sprinkle of freckles by his jaw from their closeness.

" Evans let's dance," Michael announced. Lily laughed and felt somewhat inhibited. She assumed it was from the surplus of butterbeer in her system. She followed Michael to the dance floor and a slow Celestina Warbeck song came on.

Michael wrapped his arms around her and they moved in a languid dance. Lily noticed that Michael's feet were lithe as they twirled around the Common Room. She moved her hands to chest and tapped the melody to the song to his heartbeat. He squirmed away from her and pushed her hands down. Lily grinned and looked up at him.

" Michael Wood are you ticklish," Lily asked with a teasing tone. Michael blushed and turned.

" It's my weakness Lils. What about you," Michael said. He prodded his fingers into Lily's stomach and sides waiting for her to writhe away. But Lily didn't, no one in her family was ticklish. Her dad used to say that it was the genes of the Gastors refusing to bow down to a childish taunt.

" Nope. My secret weakness would be my incapability to snap my fingers," she said with a rueful grin. Michael smiled and placed his head on top of hers.

" It's good to know that even you're human," he commented. Lily made a noise of agreement. She caught sight of Alice and Frank sitting by the fireplace. They were snogging like other couples; no they were speaking in low whispers with light smiles. Lily saw Frank hold Alice's hands tenderly. She felt like she was trespassing on something.

" So how long have Alice and Frank been together," she asked Michael. He tilted his head with concentration.

" I think they met at some pureblood girl's entrance to society ball. Frank's family and the Prewitt family are two of the few that don't believe in that arranged marriage shite. I met Frank, Adam, and the Prewitts at Charms school. But they were in the class for older kids when I came in. I hung out with some Ravenclaws blokes back then," Michael said. Lily watched him go off topic with an amused grin.

" Oh right Alice and Frank! First dance of Natasha Goyle's ball and then they fell in love. Started dating in 4th year never left each other since then," Michael explained.

" That's great, so they've got that love at first sight thing going," Lily mused. Michael nodded against her hair.

" Emmeline and Adam were a bit different. They're betrothed but Emmy used to hate Adam and Adam used to hate Emmy. She's a feminist but her family wouldn't let her out. It's a bit clichéd but I guess hate led to love in our 5th year. They had so much in common but their hatted for each other sort of blinded that. I think their families went to Spain together last year and boom! They came to 5th year acting like rabbits," Michael grumbled. Lily laughed at his drunken analogies.

" What about you. Got any girls to marry," Lily teased. Michael blushed and ducked his head.

" Nope. My parents only had me to continue the Wood line. Other than the day I was born, they left me to the nannies and house elves," Michael answered. Lily felt guilty and ducked her head.

" I'm sorry, I know what it's like to grow up with family that likes to pretend that you don't exist," Lily said with an apologetic tone. Michael brushed her comment away.

" It's okay, I think that out of the two of us we have enough troubled childhood experiences to write a book," Michael said with a snicker. Lily nodded and smiled.

" On my seventh birthday my parents went to Greece and my brothers were either at charms school or Hogwarts. The house elves in our house caught some bug and were sick. I spent the day out in the forest. I think I spent the night sitting in near a pond near our house when this Grindylow grabbed me and I almost drowned. I managed to get out and then went back to my house where I had Hypothermia for about a week. My parents came home and berated me while I was sick for not getting a house elf to take care of me," Lily admitted.

" That's nothing. When I was five I discovered the floo station in our house. I managed to accidently end up in some squib's house in Surrey. I was almost adopted by the muggle family next door before the house elf realized where I was," Michael said. Lily laughed at this. She never expected to be discussing who had the worst childhood with someone.

Lily realized that the song had ended. But they didn't stop dancing. Lily didn't know how long she was in Michael's warm embrace. Seconds, minutes, hours seemed to fade. She noticed how close she was to Michael. Lily could feel his breath against her ear. She felt as though she was being drugged into a safe sleep. Her eyes fluttered and she relaxed. But Lily didn't want a fireless oblivion.

Lily felt as though she had woken up from a dreamless eternity. She opened her eyes and gasped. Lily felt like she had been drowned and was about to give up, but she surface. Lily was gasping for breath. It felt as though something had sliced a piece of her straight out of her chest. Lily looked down and slouched with relief when she saw that her chest wasn't bleeding. But the unavoidable pain was still there. She muttered an excuse to Michael and shrugged out of his arms.

The party around them swayed but Lily didn't. She needed air so badly. Lily saw the exit and bolted for it. She wobbled on her heels and twisted her ankle. But Lily didn't stop. She was hyper aware of everything around her. She could see the bold reds and gold of the common room. She could hear the cheers and joy emitted around her. The party was like a hazy mist; once it engulfed you, you were doomed.

Lily leaned against a table and took a breath. She glanced at party and saw that Michael was watching her. His eyes looked different she didn't want that. Lily turned and scrambled for the back of the fat lady's portrait. She squeezed through the doorway and saw that a group of Ravenclaws was outside. They were thoroughly drunk and didn't seem to notice her. Lily slipped by them and headed for the Astronomy Tower.

She wobbled on her shoes as she approached the staircase to the tower. Lily sighed and removed the huge shoes from her feet. She quietly walked up the staircase. Her dress restricted her from taking large strides and she had to settle for small ones.

Lily blinked. She could feel the haze of the party still on her. What happened? One minute she and Michael were laughing and reminiscing the next she felt like she was drowning. Something changed. The atmosphere seemed to shift right in front of Lily. It hit her, it wasn't her it was Michael.

Lily grabbed the railing of staircase and leaned forward. She was about half way up but needed to stop. What about Michael had changed? She remembered his teasing expression and guarded eyes. Why would he need to guard something though? Lily leaned her head back and felt for her wand. She pulled it out of the strap of her shoe and twisted her hair around it. Once her hair was in a bun and the world stopped spinning, Lily continued her walk up the stairs.

She gulped for air when she reached the top. But it was worth it. Lily loved the astronomy tower. The height and view gave a perfect perspective to the sky. She wobbled over to the thick railing where a collection of telescopes sat. Lily ignored them and pulled her wand out of her hair. It tumbled down her back and she left her wand in a pile with her shoes near her feet.

It wasn't cold. Lily could feel a languid breeze hit her. It didn't force shivers to crawl up her arms, no it comforted her. Lily had no idea what happened. She was usually calm, not a distressed epitome of disaster. Only when she was truly upset did Lily become catatonic. This felt worse. She felt like something had been ripped out of her. Lily stared at the sky.

She could make out the dim light of the stars from the castle tower. Names of constellations bolded in her mind as she observed the sky. Lily could see the moon sitting low in the sky. A gentle silver light shone from it. Lily heard something from behind and turned. She held her wand out but relaxed when she saw a familiar pair of gold eyes.

" Jason," she said tilting her head with a curious face. Her brother walked out of the shadows surrounding him. His shirt was hastily buttoned and his tie was loose. Lily froze when she saw that his eyes were blood-shot. He walked forward and looked at Lily.

" Jason are you meeting a girl up here," Lily asked. He shook his head and crossed his arms. Lily could make out the black form of the dark mark on his arm as he raised his hand to run it through his hair. He didn't speak and Lily didn't either.

" I didn't think you were one for star-gazing," Lily said with a worried look. Jason wasn't speaking. He looked towards the horizon and Lily saw a tear escape his eye. His eyes were agonizing to look at. Lily could see so much open pain in them that she almost forgave him for everything he ever did to her.

" Jason what's going on," Lily asked. He didn't speak. Lily sighed and grabbed her shoes. She slid them on and walked over to him. Lily wobbled slightly and faced him. She could see that his nose was red and there were tear stains on his cheeks. Lily froze when he let out a sob. She had never seen him so openly upset.

From youth, purebloods were instructed to be closed and hide their emotions. At her parents' funeral, her brothers had not shed a single tear. Seeing Jason so broken and pained made her curious about what was happening. Lily moved his hair away from his face in a similar fashion that her mum used to. He slumped his head into her hand and looked up. Lily's emerald eyes appraised his gold ones.

" Jace, what happened," Lily asked cautiously one last time. He opened his mouth and Lily felt his arm wrap around her. She was surprised by his embrace but waited for him to speak.

" Lily he's gone. Julius, he's dead," Jason moaned. Lily froze and felt stunned. She knew what that feeling was. When a knife seemed to cut something out of her it really did. Something had removed something from her; death had taken her brother from her.

But Lily didn't feel tears or agony come. She waited but they didn't. Lily was disgusted when she felt a flutter of relief. Why would she be relieved at her own brother's death? She didn't feel numb or a loss of feeling, no Lily felt perfectly normal.

" Oh," she managed to croak. Lily grabbed Jason and hugged him like a sister should. She was going to be in his life for at least two more years and it was time she started acting like a sisters, even if he betrayed her.

Lily knew that no matter how many times her brothers and parents had left her, no matter how much they demanded of her, no matter the punishment and agony they sent to her she would still care about them, well at least she would still care about Jason.

That late May night, under the blanket of the stars Lily never felt more alone, but at the same time she felt like she was finally apart of something. Something that she spent years and years suffering to be in. Yet, it didn't hold the same feeling she had hoped for. Lily no longer wanted this; her childhood yearns and wishes were coming true, only too late.

Three members of her family were dead. Most of her family was evil and she was happy that one of the evilest people she had known was dead, even though he was her brother. Lily let a tear out. Not for Julius or her parents. No she let that tear out for the death of her freedom. Lily knew that if she was going to be a Gastor then she would lose everything she worked for.

She would lose her freedom and sense of flying. She would become a bird unable to take to the sky, and Lily wasn't ready for that. She wasn't ready to give up her freedom even though it was the right thing to do. Lily couldn't do the right thing, she couldn't.

Lily had to be selfish that night. She had to hold onto the freedom that she fought for and defend it, even if her family was falling apart. Lily let that tear fall out and she let it go. Under a blanket of stars, Lily fought for her freedom as she shoved her distressed brother away and ran.

* * *

** Just to verify, Lily is currently in her fifth year with Marlene, Michael, and Benjy Fenwick. Alice, Frank, Gideon, Fabian, Adam, and Emmeline are in their 6th year.**

**A reviewer commented on the mistake regarding Tonks and her mum's age. I'm sorry, math isn't really my strong point. So I am going to change Julius and Andromeda's age to 29 and Tonks's age to 11, so she is a first year. I'm sorry about that**.

**Part One is almost over! In the next chapter there is going to be a bit of action and revelations...**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	7. Spilled Ink

**Chapter 7 Spilled Ink**

**(Helter Skelter)**

* * *

Lily didn't go to Julius's funeral. She didn't sit with her brothers and weep on their shoulders. She didn't feel the overwhelming distress and sorrow that her brothers felt. She didn't get up and make a speech about how much of an amazing brother Julius was. She couldn't do that.

Three days after she abandoned Jason in the Astronomy Tower Lily sat outside by the Black Lake. Hogwarts seemed so empty, but that may have had something to do with the fact that at least half of the students attending Hogwarts had gone to Julius's funeral. All of Lily's friends, including Benjy, had gone to the public open funeral of Julius Gastor.

Julius was an icon to the Wizarding world. He went to Hogwarts for seven years and accomplished so much there. He was a prefect and Quidditch captain starting in his fifth year. By his seventh he was the headboy. After Hogwarts, he was recruited to play as a chaser for Puddlemere United.

He stayed on Puddlemere for twelve years. Julius played for the English team in the International Quidditch Cup and led his team to the final match against Australia. Lily remembered so much about him. He was their parents' pride and glory. Other than the fact that he never got married and settled down, he was the perfect child.

The morning after she found out about his death, Lily saw that none of her brothers were in the Great Hall. She remembered seeing a copy of the Daily Profit on the table with Julius's picture smiling at her. Lily was sure that he had never smiled at her in her entire life. The Profit said that he happened to be in the crossfire of a death eater attack in Sheffield where he heroically saved several muggles before dying from smoke inhalation.

Lily knew better. She was sure that the death eaters hadn't killed Julius; no he was one. She remembered reading about how aurors had recently been permitted to use unforgivable curses in battle. Lily was positive that Julius had been killed by an auror.

She didn't know how she should feel about this. Julius was thirteen years older than her. He had been a surprise to her parents who had planned to have kids later in life. But they adored their little Julius. Her parents waited nearly a decade before Pericles was born.

Julius wasn't close to Lily, but he was still family. But he was also a monster. He took pleasure from killing and torturing innocent people. Lily didn't feel numb or pained she felt perfectly normal. His purist and death eater status wasn't common knowledge. Most people assumed that he was the golden boy of England. Lily knew better.

Classes had been suspended so teachers and students could pay their respects today. Pericles had written to her that Jason, Cassius, and Lucian would be back before the end of the week for exams. She felt guilty for feeling worried about that. Lily couldn't face her brothers. She wasn't ready to see the fresh agony in their eyes.

Lily knew that Jason and Lucian practically worshipped Julius. Cassius and Pericles were different though. They preferred to be subtle with their actions. Lily didn't know where she was. She wasn't as quiet and elusive as Pericles and Cassius. She wasn't as loud and bold as her other brothers. Lily sat somewhere between, alone.

The afternoon sun made Lily blink. She pulled the sweatshirt she had worn off and let the warm light hit her arms. Lily reached for her bracelet. She pulled a ring out of one of the expendable charms. Lily leaned up and studied the ring. She had been sent the ring when she first arrived in Greece with a note for her not to forget that she was and always would be a pureblood.

The band of the ring was a rich gold with swirls of silver and black. She turned it and looked at the inside of the band. She could see her initials carved into the inner band. Lily looked at the stone of the ring. She traced the constellation G and the flower wrapped around it. Lily ducked her head down and pulled her hair out of its braid.

She looked at the lake that stretched out in front of her. She could see the greenish black waves hit the sandy shore. Lily was about two feet away from the bank of the lake. She stood and pushed her wand into the back pocket of her trousers. Lily brushed the dirt off her pants and t-shirt. She held the ring inside of her fist and walked over to the edge of the Lake.

She could smell the fresh air of the Scottish countryside. Lily knew that within a month she would have to trade the fresh air for the muggy air of a city. She opened her hand and twirled the ring around her fingers. Lily took her right hand and held her left hand in front of her face. She bit her lip as she positioned the ring over her left ring finger.

Lily closed her eyes as she slid the ring down her finger. Her eyes bolted open and she gripped a nearby tree. Lily hadn't worn the Gastor ring in over five years. Pureblood rings held the inner essence of what the family was aiming for. Lily felt something pound at the walls of her mind, demanding to be let in.

She gritted her teeth and let it in. Lily was almost overwhelmed by the feelings that swirled in. The Gastors weren't like the Black family. They didn't force emotions away using their rings. The Black family couldn't control their emotions so their rings made the emotions hazy and faded. The Gastor ring did the opposite.

Lily gasped and almost fell over. Her emotions and feelings were amplified to a high degree. The confusion and distress she felt almost choked her. Lily reached for her ring with trembling fingers and pulled it off. She sighed with relief when her feeling subsided to their normal levels.

Lily wondered how her brothers were able to stand wearing the ring at all times. How could they even think or breathe with emotions controlling them like that? Lily immediately regretted wearing that ring. Wearing charmed jewelry was like using a drug. It became addictive and was close to impossible to stop if worn for such a long time.

Lily took one last glance at the ring and shoved it inside of her bracelet. She leaned down and grabbed her sweatshirt. Lily looked up and saw that the sun was low in the sky. How long had she been out there? More importantly how long had she worn the ring?

Lily knew that something was wrong. Wearing charmed items could warp a person's sense of time, and that ring had done just that. She cursed herself for even wearing the ring in the first place.

Lily sighed, there was nothing she could do now but avoid thinking about the ring. She turned to the castle and walked towards it. Lily loved Hogwarts. The workload and prejudice may have deterred her, but the bonds and people she met were well worth it. Lily wasn't going to run, she was going to come back next year and be apart of this war.

She wore a tired smile as she entered the castle. Lily ambled to the Great Hall and looked out the window. She could see students and teachers returning from Hogsmeade where there were floo stations for them to travel back from Julius's funeral. Lily saw two familiar heads of red hair and smiled. She went inside of the Great Hall and sat towards the end of it.

Lily served herself as students started to trudge into the hall. She saw some glance her way but mostly they ignored her. Lily saw the Marauders walk over to the Slytherin table wearing black mourning robes. She noticed with a frown that Jason wasn't there.

" It wasn't that bad. Not like a death eater convention, there were too many people there against purists for that," someone announced next to Lily. She jumped and turned. Michael sat next to her with an amused expression.

" It's rude to sneak up on people," Lily scolded. Michael shrugged and tugged the tie he wore. Lily could see that he was uncomfortable in dress robes. She turned and saw the rest of their friends around them. Marlene sat to Lily's right and Benjy sat across from her. Emmeline and Alice sat on either sides of Benjy. Adam sat next to Emmeline and Frank sat next to Alice. Fabian sat next to Marlene and Gideon sat next to Michael.

" Well I'm not one for formalities," Michael chuckled. Lily remembered two other people who had said something very similar to her. She glanced in the direction of the Marauders and saw that they were leaving the room.

" I heard that the Gastor family is in chaos. Jason, Cassius, and Lucian won't be coming back until Friday. Mum said something about the oldest one, Pericles I think, not being the right leader for the family," Frank declared.

Lily unconsciously glared at him. Pericles would do a better job than Julius did leading the family. Lily looked down and blushed at her rash action. Marlene spoke up from next to her.

" My mum was throwing a fit during the funeral. Thinks that pureblood numbers are going down," Marlene snorted. Lily couldn't help but agree. At the beginning of the year her family was made of eight people, now it was down to five. Lily didn't like what her brothers were doing. She couldn't help but worry about what they had gotten themselves into.

She wondered if her parents knew about them being death eaters. They probably did since Jason and Cassius were underage when they were alive. Lily contemplated whether her parents were death eaters. It had always been a possibility, but Lily preferred to think that her parents weren't that evil. But, she remembered Julius telling her that her dad had been a death eater. Lily sighed and looked glumly at her plait.

Michael jostled Lily and she looked up. He looked towards the Slytherin table and leaned towards her.

" I know you didn't want to go to the funeral, I didn't want to, I'd prefer to throw a celebratory party than a funeral. But I think you should talk to one of your brothers when they get back. Something was off. The death eaters they didn't attack for most of May. I mean there were a few skirmishes, but nothing as big as the attack he died in," Michael muttered in Lily's ear.

She looked up and turned to him. Lily glanced around the room and leaned towards him. " I know. Why would they attack Sheffield? It's too random. Something is going on, there's a pattern," Lily said. Michael glanced up and his eyes froze at the Slytherin table. He picked up his glass and looked away from Lily.

" We'll talk later. Crabbe and Rosier are looking our way," Michael said right before he took a sip of water. Lily nodded and checked her watch. She had some Astronomy homework to finish up before patrol tonight. Lily finished her dinner and bid a goodbye to her friends. She began walking towards the library hoping that she could finish the last few inches of her Astronomy essay before it closed.

Lily entered the library and noticed that it was almost completely empty. She caught sight of a few students studying together and waved to them. They smiled and waved back. Lily was known for her Quidditch skills on and off the pitch.

Lily went to the section dedicated to Astronomy and ran her fingers along the spines of several books. She pulled a book out on Jupiter's moons and hunched over. She flipped through the pages and scanned a few passages. Lily smiled as she found some material that could help her. She closed the book and turned.

" Oh," Lily exclaimed. She dropped her book and clutched her chest. She blushed and faced Sirius Black. His gray eyes flashed with amusement but it quickly disappeared. He leaned against the bookshelf across from her and watched her with speculative eyes. Lily reached down for her book and moved her hand for her wand. She slid it into her hand as she stood.

" I'm not here to hurt you Evans, Prongs says that he has revenge covered," Black sneered. Lily tucked the book under her shoulder and pulled her wand out. She pointed it at Black and her hand trembled.

" All the same Black, I'm more comfortable with the upper hand," Lily responded. She watched Black cautiously and froze when his mouth spilt into a mocking grin.

" It's fine Evans. I'm almost flattered that you're scared of me," Black mocked. Lily pursed her lips and put her wand down. She raised a brow to Black and he shook his head with amusement.

" I'm not here for you. I'm here to give you something. Jason wanted me to hand deliver this to you," Black explained. He reached into the pocket of his robes and pulled a small envelope out. Lily could see the Gastor emblem boldly on the front. She gingerly took it from Black and held it in her wand hand.

" Thanks I guess," Lily said. She turned to leave the area but a hand grabbed her. She froze and her fingers curled around her wand.

" He gave me specific instructions that you should open it in front of me. Said that you had a tendency to avoid opening letters," Black clarified with a shrug. Lily narrowed her eyes but turned. She face Black and tucked her wand into the hem of her trousers. Lily quickly ripped the envelope open and pulled out a note. Her fingers ran over the writing on it as she scanned the letters.

_Lily,_

_I just want you to know that Julius removed your access to the family vault in his will, sorry. He gave Pericles specific instructions that you couldn't have access to it until you opened mum and dad's letters. Also, you may not be aware of this, but whenever a member of the Gastor family takes his/her ring off or on the others can feel it. It's good to know that you've felt the ring's power._

_Jason_

Lily quickly crumpled the letter into a ball and ripped it. She shouldn't have touched that ring in the first place. She took her wand out and pointed it at the letter.

" Reducto," Lily said through gritted teeth. The letter burst into a confetti of regret and pain. Black was still watching her. Lily faced him.

" Can I go now," she asked. He merely nodded and walked away. Lily turned and strutted out of the library. She couldn't care less about loosing access to the family vault; Lily had the entire Auclair fortune in hers. She felt guilty that Benjy's father had ignored him in his will. Why would he do that? Why would he leave his son with nothing?

There were so many questions in Lily's mind. But nearly none of them had answers. She had too many things to worry about. Lily was barely able to carry them.

Lily pushed through a group of Ravenclaws and quickly climbed the staircase to the Gryffindor Tower. She announced the password to a cheerful fat lady and entered the common room. Lily smiled at what she saw and walked over to it. She stood behind the person looking at the newest addition to the Gryffindor Trophy Cabinet.

" We deserved it," Lily announced. The person turned and Lily met the electric blue eyes of Adam McKinnon. She never spent much time with him out of all her friends. Alice and Emmeline were her roommates so she had plenty of bonding time with them. Marlene was her closest friend and Michael was well Michael. She studied with Benjy and played exploding snaps with the Prewitt twins.

Frank had gotten over his initial weariness of her after finding out that her dad was dead. He seemed to have the most empathy as to what it was like to not have a dad. Michael wasn't close with his parents and thought that her parents were monsters. He didn't know much about her Uncle Darcy since she still felt pain when she mentioned him.

The Prewitt twins may have lost both of their parents, but Alice's parents, who were their uncle and aunt, had practically raised them due to the dads' brotherly closeness. Frank understood Lily the most. He knew what it was like to loose that person who showed someone so much love it hurt.

Adam McKinnon was a mystery to Lily. She knew that he was on the Quidditch team and that he was head over heels in love with Emmeline but that was it. She never had a reason to bond with him in particular. The only thing they shared was their mutual worry for Marlene ending up with Sirius Black thanks to some stupid arrangement made by his parents.

Adam smiled at Lily and she could make out a letter in the fireplace behind him burning. She ignored it and faced the trophy cabinet. It was filled to the brim with trophies dated back to decades ago.

" I know we did. It's just nice to admire. Lena and I, we were raised on Quidditch. Dad played in Hogwarts. My mum wasn't too keen on him giving Lena a broom for her first birthday; she thought it was too unlady-like. But she stopped protesting when Lena zipped by on that broom with a huge grin," Adam said with a fond smile.

Lily noticed his nickname for Marlene. The McKinnons were close for siblings. She could see a family bond that was thick in Marlene and Adam's eyes. She felt a trickle of envy when she remembered her family's backstabbing nature.

" When I lived in France, I used to love flying through the French countryside. Southern France is amazing, there's these great cliffs hanging over rocky beaches during the summer that make great places to go to," Lily answered. Adam watched her with an interested gaze.

" I've always wanted to travel and see the world. My dad works in the ministry and mum refuses to leave our house for anything but work and parties so we don't travel a lot. I think the last time I left England was for a distant cousin's wedding in Ireland when I was about five," Adam mused.

Lily bit her lip and thought about her own life. Her parents had taken her with them to work occasionally. She had traveled through most of Greece and the surrounding isles. She knew France like the back of her hand and had even gone to Spain for an internship she had under the French International Magical Affairs Department. Lily loved traveling so much, it was one of the few benefits she had from her initial banishment.

" Is that why you want to work internationally," Lily asked with a curious gaze. Adam nodded.

" Yes the travel factor helped me decide. It's not just that though, this may seem cowardly but I'm hoping that if I do end up working abroad Emmeline will come with me. I'd do anything to protect her," Adam vowed.

" It's not cowardly to protect the one we love," Lily said with a philosophic smile. Adam smiled and checked his watch.

" I've got to meet Frank in the library before it closes Lily. I hope we can talk about France later," Adam asked with a shy smile. Lily nodded and his mouth burst into a full smile.

There was something beautiful about Adam McKinnon's smile. His charged-blue eyes crinkled with joy. A pair of dimples appeared at the sides of his mouth. Lily could make out a small chip in one of his side teeth. His smile was something to fight for.

Lily felt someone tap her shoulder and turned. She met the amber eyes of Kingsley Shacklebolt and followed him to the Dungeons for patrol.

It was a quiet patrol. Silence enveloped them in a warm embrace. He didn't speak and Lily didn't feel the need to either. She hummed out a tune and drummed her fingers against the inside of her wrist.

Lily had a craving to find a piano. She hadn't played in close to nine months. Her piano teacher from Athens would be ashamed. Lily smiled thinking of her piano teacher, Apolline Kingsmill, who was also Selena's mother. She had sent an owl out to Selena that very morning and was eagerly awaiting a response.

Apolline once played the piano internationally for magical audiences. Then she settled down with her husband and had two children, Selena and her brother Galen. Lily spent three years in Greece as the next-door neighbor to the Kingsmills.

She spent the two years before she began attending the Athenian School for Sorcery playing at the beach with Selena and her brother Galen. Selena and Galen didn't inherit Mrs. Kingsmill's aptitude for the piano, but Lily had inherited her mother's.

She fondly remembered lessons by the beach learning symphonies and requiems. Her stay in Greece may have been horrible, but the Kingsmill family made it easier. She lived with her mum's parents before they passed away, but she spent more time at the Kingsmill villa than the Lilius villa.

The Kingsmills showed her that the family she grew up with could have been so different. Mr. Kingsmill worked in the magical hospital in Athens and often listened to Lily on the piano after coming home from a day at work. Mrs. Kingsmill dedicated her days of retirement to teaching Lily the art of playing the piano. Selena was, and always would be, her closest friend. Selena was more like a sister than a friend. And Galen, sweet Galen Kingsmill, had been the boy who took away her first kiss; at least she thought that.

Lily's memory of kissing James Potter had been obliviated. Lily wondered how she was able to retrieve a memory that had been obliviated. didn't know until six years later that James bloody Potter had taken her first kiss. She may have not recognized him that night, but the clear and bold memory of a sweet eight year old with messy hair and hazel eyes revealed that James Potter had stolen Lily's first kiss.

She sighed and stopped her humming. Reliving her past was painful. She usually pushed memoires of her childhood and youth away and tried to live in the present. Lily took her wand out of the hem of her pants and twirled it around her fingers. She caught Kingsley watching her with an amused stare.

" You seen rather anxious today," he pointed out. Lily blushed and let her hand hold her wand.

" It's been a tough year," she said. Kingsley made a noise of agreement and Lily titled her head. Questions burst from her mind.

" If you don't mind me asking, but what are you doing after school's over," she questioned.

" If my NEWTs are good enough I'll be applying to the auror department," he answered curtly. Lily nodded.

" Like your brother did," she mused. Lily didn't miss the sharp flinch Kingsley made.

" It's hard isn't it? I met the younger brother of Auror Moody in France, he went there to avoid his brother's legacy," Lily said. Kingsley looked at her on shock. Lily smiled wryly.

" I know more than anyone what it's like to be overshadowed by siblings," Lily admitted. Kingsley watched her with a curious stare. She had never seen Kingsley this willing to talk about their personal lives before.

" My family's huge. One of my brothers played a sport nationally, another is a doctor, one is the golden boy of his school, and then there's the quiet one who picks up the smallest details, the brother closest to my age he's so expressive it almost hurts to be near him. I was always the runt of the litter; the only girl and I was born prematurely. Everything I've ever accomplished was done before by one of them," Lily revealed with a frown.

Everything she ever did had been done before her, bigger and better, well other than her decision to give it all up. She had been the only one to leave behind the society they grew up in and see the world through someone else's eyes.

" You've got one thing different; you're magic Lily. And even if your brothers were magical, then they'd never have the same courage that you've got," Kingsley answered with a shy grin. Lily looked at him and studied his face. He seemed to think that all her brothers muggles. But that was a good comparison. Her brothers were the purest of pure bloods. And she may have had their blood, but she wasn't a pureblood.

Her blood didn't mean a thing. Being a pureblood was accepting the ropes and rules that came with it. It was like living in a golden cage. Lily broke free of her cage and she didn't plan on being trapped again.

" Thanks Kingsley. For the record I don't think that you'll live in your brother's shadow, no you'll probably go on to become Minister or something like that," Lily said with a teasing grin. She swore that the tips of Kingsley's coffee ears had become a light pink.

" Thanks Evans. But I don't think I'm up for the whole Minister of Magic thing," Kingsley said with a raised brow. Lily tilted her head back and let a chime of light laughter out.

" You never know what the future holds Shacklebolt," Lily answered with a full grin.

* * *

Lily woke on Friday morning with a jolt. She gasped for air and clutched her chest. The nightmare she had blinked out of existence as quickly as it came. But its wake didn't disappear. Lily could feel adrenaline burst through her veins. A thin layer of sweat covered her and she brushed strands of hair away from her forehead.

Lily stood quickly and felt a burst of dizziness overwhelm her. She breathed through her mouth and waited for it to end. Once it ended Lily stood and walked over to her cupboard. She pulled a pair of running shorts and a t-shirt on. Lily went to the restroom and changed into the clothing. She pulled her hair into a tight ponytail and grabbed a pair of socks and her worn running shoes. She slipped into them with one thing on her mind.

Ever since Quidditch Season ended, practice discontinued. Lily could feel a storage of unused energy inside of her. It was an early Saturday morning and Lily didn't have much homework. According to the study schedule she made, she only had three hours of studying today.

Owls started in less than two weeks and Lily was preparing as best as she could. She spent hours with teachers and students at review sessions. Everyday, the four 5th year Gryffindors studied for at least an hour in the library. Lily knew that she could easily pass the Charms, Potions, Astronomy, and Care of Magical Creatures OWLS. She was worried in particular about her History of Magic OWLS. She didn't need to pass it, but Lily wanted to do well on it.

The other subjects came at ease for Lily so she knew that with liberal studying she could easily get an Exceeds Expectations on them. But she didn't want that; Lily was working to get an Outstanding. She wanted to prove that she was capable of that. No one in her family had gotten perfect OWLS. Pericles had been close with only two Exceeds Expectations in Arithmancy and Transfiguration.

Lily laced her sneakers on tightly and looked at her dorm. She knew that it was well before five in the morning. Lily crossed the room and peaked behind the window curtains. She saw that the sun had started to rise; it was dawn. Her roommates were still sleeping and probably would for the next four hours, as it was a Saturday.

Lily reached under her bed and grabbed her broom. She kept it inside of her expandable bracelet and quietly exited the room. She entered the common room and saw that it was empty. Lily exited the tower and started jogging towards the open grounds. When Lily reached the pathway to the grounds she smiled.

Lily could make out the pinks and light yellow glow of the sun. She tightened her ponytails and headed for the pitch. Lily could smell the scent of freshly cut grass as she entered the Quidditch Pitch.

She stretched for a bit and then started a jog around the pitch. Her nightmare disappeared and her built up energy found a release. Lily finished her second lap and wiped the sweat from her forehead. She pulled her broom out of her bracelet and held it out near her.

Lily flew languidly around the pitch. She felt the sun glow down on her and brushed some hair out of her eyes. Lily leaned up and felt her broom jump for the sky. The sky was amazing. Lily faintly remembered what Potter had said about dawn a few months ago; he was right.

Lily may have been a dusk person but she couldn't help but marvel at the beauty that was dawn. Clouds stretched across the sky in swirls and wisps. The sky wasn't it usual blue yet. It was a shade or two lighter with dabs and brushes of light pink and tangy oranges. She could see the sun peaking over the horizon. Its golden rays stretched across the sky and hit the ground in a golden embrace.

Lily could hear birds chirping from her height. She leaned up and sat on her broom. Lily always felt more at peace in the sky than ever. She could see the castle in front of her and the Black Lake to her right. Lily remembered a fond memory.

It was a summer day and Galen Kingsmill, who was two years older than her, had returned from school with her and Selena for the summer. After getting her strict grandmother's permission, she was allowed to stay with the Kingsmills for two weeks for "piano" practice. In reality, she spent most of that break from her overbearing grandparents swimming and flying on her old Stargazer broom.

She could still see Galen Kingsmills' cerulean eyes and tawny brown hair. His skin was tanned lightly and his smile was one of the things that Lily treasured. Selena was sick that day and Galen wanted to show Lily something.

He took her out on their brooms and they flew to a beach close to his home. Lily could still feel the Greek winds hitting them and their childhood laughter. She remembered her dress blowing out in the wind that day four years ago back when she was twelve.

That day was so special to her. In her mind it was the day she gave her first kiss to a boy who tasted like sea salt. But she was so wrong. Lily didn't know that she gave her first kiss to a hazel-eyed boy who tasted like green apples and fireworks.

Lily pushed those memories away and soared higher into the sky. The green colors of the forest blurred together. She could see a flock of birds flying close to her. They let high-pitched chirps loose and played a symphony for her. Lily ducked her broom and swooped down.

She flew towards the Black Lake and leaned on her side. She suddenly flew down and was able to graze the water of the lake. Her hair with the wind and blew out behind her. A grin spread out over her mouth as she pulled up. She let out a loud sound filled with freedom and joy. She never noticed a messy-haired boy taking his daily dawn jog watching her with a grin that he quickly hid.

She never noticed him hate that he was falling for a girl he was supposed to hate. Lily never noticed that James Potter was falling for the way she sang and danced freedom.

James never noticed that Lily never noticed that she was falling for the boy she supposedly hated. He never noticed that her eyes traced his figure with unknown concern when he entered a room. He never noticed that Lily Evans was falling for his firework kisses and his way of playing words like an orchestra.

Lily Evans and James Potter never noticed that they were the harmony and melody to each other's lives. They never noticed the way they blended together to create something beautiful. They never noticed that they completed each other.

* * *

" We've got our first fainter," Benjy announced. Lily turned from her seat and looked up at him. A yawn escaped her mouth as she rested her chin on the large textbook in front of her.

" What," Lily mumbled. She rubbed her eyes and watched as Michael and Benjy sat across from her and Marlene. The 5th years had taken the decision to sit separately from the 6th years until OWLS were over after an incident with Adam and the Prewitts spilling pumpkin juice all over Marlene's study guide. The one week mark for the start of OWLS was that day.

Everywhere Lily went she could see 5th years and 7th years huddled around textbooks and study guides. She herself had spent the previous night memorizing the moons of Jupiter and Saturn.

" Edgar Bones, nice short Hufflepuff. He had a panic attack in the middle of Muggle Studies," Michael clarified. Lily could see a set of bags under his eyes that matched hers. She watched him and Benjy load their plates with food.

" How can you eat so much? We don't have time to eat," Marlene grumbled. Lily nodded and looked at the book that had taken the place of her usual plate of food. Benjy looked up at Marlene indignantly.

" We're men McKinnon. If we don't eat then we can't study," he said with an incredulous expression. Lily snorted and looked at her Transfiguration textbook. She flipped through it and scrawled some notes on the scroll to her side. Lily's left hand was a mess of ink stains and cramps. She pulled her hair up into a severe bun and took her heavy robes off. Lily loosened her tie a bit and removed the top button of her shirt. It was too hot to wear the weighty uniform, Lily decided.

" Ugh Lily what do we have next," Marlene asked with a groan. Lily glanced up from her book and straightened her back. She could hear it crack and groaned at all the knots in it.

" I think it's Charms or Potions," Lily muttered. Michael let out a snort of laughter and Lily glared at him.

" It's neither. We've got DADA next," Michael said with an amused grin. Lily stuck her tongue out at him immaturely and closed her book. She tucked it inside of her bag and slung it over her shoulder. Lily reached for the table and grabbed an apple.

" I'm going to head down there early and see if Shacklebolt is around. I still haven't mastered the Patronus Charm," Lily declared. Marlene nodded at her and slumped back into her book. Lily stood and began walking out of the hall. She didn't notice that two people were following her as she exited the room. Lily shoved a strand of hair out of her eyes and redid her bun as she crossed the staircase.

She didn't notice the trip stair and suddenly fell over. Lily braced herself for the hard landing against the stone of the castle. Someone yanked her up and quickly let go of her. She stumbled and turned. Jason and Lucian were behind her watching her every move.

She had almost forgotten about her brothers. Lily spent most of her free time in the library studying. Her family was smart. Most of her brothers were able to get Outstandings on assignments without even trying. She had personally witnessed Julius scrawl a summer assignment essay five minutes before boarding the train to Hogwarts and get an Outstanding.

She felt a pang in her chest when she remembered Julius. He was dead, and even if he had been an arse to Lily, he was still her family.

" Lily are you having trouble sleeping," Lucian asked cautiously. Lily could see him analyzing her body and look for any signs of illness. She scowled and pulled her bag over her shoulder.

" Don't act like you're worried Lucian. What do you really want," Lily questioned. Lucian grinned and Jason remained silent.

" Lily you'll never change. You still don't even trust your own family. I wonder why you took a peek at what it was like to wear the ring then," Lucian teased. Lily paled and her fingers grazed her bracelet.

" That was a mistake," Lily managed to mutter. She shivered when she remembered the temptation that the ring had. It took her over a week to stop thinking about it every hour.

" Why, can't you handle it? I've worn mine without any difficulties since I was nine, same with the others. Is it because you're a runt," Lucian taunted. Lily gritted her teeth at his insult.

" I really don't have time for your bloody mind games. I'll ask one last time what do you want," Lily ordered. Jason looked uncomfortable and crossed his arms.

" Julius left something in his will; an order for me. I know all about those letters Lily. I won't be as lenient as he was. Pericles is too soft to lead the Gastor family. I am leading. If you do not open those letters before Julius's given due date, I will take a trip to some muggle village and kill every single resident. For every hour that you don't open the letters I will kill more and more people," Lucian declared.

Lily felt blood escape from her face. She couldn't hide the tremors that racked her fingers. She bit her lip and stared into her brother's cruel gold eyes.

" Julius would be proud of you," Lily commended with a distasteful tone. She gave Lucian one last disgusted stare and shoved past him.

Jason's eyes were downcast as she walked away from them. Lily could feel pure white rage erupt inside of her. She thought that Julius's death had relieved her of opening the letters, but it hadn't. Lily clenched her fist and gritted her teeth as she stomped through the hall of the castle.

She felt the sudden urge to give up. An overwhelming amount of guilt and sorrow entered her. There wasn't another option; if she opened those letters she could prevent a massacre. Lily felt disgusted at her thoughts; if she opened those letters now that would be admitting that her brothers had broken her.

Lily Marie Evans refused to break. She refused to be some docile pureblood housewife. She couldn't do that. Lily's magic curled inside of her like a beast. She shoved it down and chained it to her soul. Lily wasn't an innocent little girl anymore she could control her magic. Lily didn't care if she was destined to marry some arrogant pureblood and have a household of children. She knew in her heart that she could do so much more.

Lily would fight. She would fight until her dying breath to protect those who couldn't fight for themselves. She would learn everything she could and one day enter the battle field ready to defeat her enemies. She knew that day was a long way away, but Lily was okay with that. She would let her anger and rage seethe under her skin. The day she entered a battlefield with all of her potential and glory, Lily would be the victor.

With those thoughts, Lily entered her DADA classroom with a grin. For now all that mattered was that she did well on her OWLS. Lily managed to make it to class only a few minutes after it began. She ignored Jason's beseeching eyes and snuck over to her seat. Bishop entered the room and the chatter quelled. His eyes were set and he began to speak.

" OWLS are in less than a week. Today we will be spitting into groups to work on weaker points in this class. Last class I had everyone tell me what their weakest part of this class was. You'll be spit into groups regarding that," Bishop announced.

Lily frowned and tucked her books away. She grabbed her wand ready for a practical lesson. Lily's worst point in DADA was the Patronus Charm. She watched Bishop take a piece of paper out and start announcing groups. He sent the first group of five to an empty classroom to work on facing boggarts. Benjy and Michael were apart of that group. The next group was to remain in the classroom to work on writing essays. Marlene was apart of that group. Lily frowned and waited for him to continue.

" The last group will be out on the grounds with a seventh year volunteer to practice their Patronus Charms. The following students will report to the Black Lake; Remus Lupin, Jason Gastor, Sirius Black, James Potter, and Lily Evans," Bishop announced.

Lily groaned at her bad luck. She scowled remembered that all the Marauders had managed to perform the Patronus Charm both in Charms and in DADA a few months ago. Marlene shot her a sympathetic face as she joined a group of two Ravenclaws and two Hufflepuffs by the front of the room. Michael and Benjy glared at the Marauders as they followed a group of ditzy girls to the empty classroom to face a boggart.

" Miss Evans, your group is waiting for you," Bishop pointed out. Lily looked up with a blush and glanced at the door. The Marauders were reluctantly waiting for her by the door. She nodded and grabbed her bag. Lily shoved past the four boys and quickly walked towards the Black Lake.

She managed to get there before her group and saw a tall boy near a familiar oak tree. Lily smiled when he turned around.

" Evans I'd think that you'd be able to do this," Kingsley teased. Lily shrugged and walked over to him. She dropped her bag by the tree and threw her robes near it. Lily held her wand in her hand and waited for the Marauders to show up. They strutted out of the castle a few minutes later and ignored her. Kingsley wore vexed appearance.

" Hurry up! We don't have all day," Kingsley ordered. The Marauders sneered at him in unison and dropped their bags far from Lily's. They strutted over to where Kingsley and Lily stood with smug grins.

" Right. So you lot have struggled with your Patronus Charms right? Well your DADA teacher requested for me to tutor you on it," Kingsley explained. Lily nodded and Sirius Black scoffed.

" As if you could do a Patronus Charm. Your family's full of muggle loving arses," he jeered. Lily felt anger bolt through her. Kingsley merely pursed his lips and took his wand out.

" Expecto Patronum," Kingsley shouted. Lily watched as a magnificent panther shot out of his wand. It coolly regarded the Marauders before letting out a roar. Lily watched it disintegrate into nothing. Kingsley turned to them with a cold expression.

" Is that enough of an example for you Black," Kingsley asked. Black wore a wicked grin and held his hand sup in mock surrender. Lily rolled her eyes and brushed a strand of her away from her face.

" To start why don't each of you show me your attempt at the spell," Kingsley ordered. He turned to Black first who smugly nodded. Black pointed his wand towards the lake with a grin.

" Expecto Patronum," Black exclaimed. Lily watched as a flash of brilliant silver light erupted into a large dog from his wand. It barked and ran around the group. Lily watched it in amusement. Now she understood why Black was known as Padfoot to his friends.

" One would think that you're not struggling with this spell," Kingsley said with a raised eyebrow. Black shrugged and Kingsley pointed for Lupin to go next.

Lily watched him pronounce the incantation. She paled when a misty wolf shot out from his wand. It looked to the sky and howled. Lily shivered and avoided Lupin's gaze. Kingsley merely nodded at him. He pointed for Jason to go next when Lupin's wolf disappeared.

" Expecto Patronum," Jason declared. Lily saw a small rat slide out of his wand. His friends broke into laughter and Jason blushed. She wondered why. Lily knew that in Greece and China the rat was know to be a shrewd and cunning animal. Yet here in England it was known for bringing the Black Death.

Kingsley could barely keep a smug grin off his face as he pointed to Potter. Potter sighed and took his wand out of his pocket with a flourish. Lily watched him shove his glasses up his nose and run a hind through his hair.

" Expecto Patronum," Potter declared. His gait was cocky and Lily could see a faint trickle of silver light emerge from his wand. Suddenly a brilliant white stag burst from his wand. Lily froze and watched it prance around Potter before settling its eyes on her. She gasped as the animal cocked it head and trotted over to her.

It stood directly in front of her and leaned down in a bow. Lily watched it in amazement and was awestruck by its form. Suddenly its image disintegrated. Lily looked up and blinked.

Members of their group were silent. Kingsley watched her with foreboding eyes. Black stared at her incredulously and Lupin looked at her curiously. She looked at Jason and saw that he was looking down. She could see the tips of his mouth pulled up in a grin. Lily looked to his side and paused. Potter's eyes were focused on where the stag had stood.

He gulped and looked up at Lily. She could see walls and closed barriers hastily built in his eyes. They traced her form and he ran a hand through his hair. Lily watched him lick his lips and blush. She looked to Kingsley who nodded for her to do the spell.

Lily turned from the Marauders and Kingsley. She held her wand out in front of her. " Expecto Patronum," Lily shouted. A small light lazily shot out of her wand. She blushed a beet red as she heard snickers come from the Marauders. Lily turned and faced Kingsley.

" Good try Evans. You need to understand the principle behind the Patronus Charm. It's a projection of a person's joy and happiness. When I do the spell, I usually try to envision a happy memory," Kingsley suggested. Lily nodded and pulled her wand out.

She closed her eyes and searched for a happy memory. Her childhood was ruined by the deaths of her brothers and parents and her banishment. Her days in Greece may have been spectacular, but she was haunted by how she fell form society and Mrs. Kingsmill's illness. Memories from France were filled with her Uncle Darcy's death and Benjy Auclair's betrayal. Lily bit her lip and thought. She smiled as one came to mind.

" Expecto Patronum," Lily shouted as the memory of her friends' laughter faded. A brighter light pulsed from her wand. She watched it in anticipation. It began to change into a creature. Lily saw a lithe body and long legs. But then the creature disappeared. She blinked and sighed. Kingsley clapped her shoulder and turned her to the rest of the group.

"You've got the spell down. All you need is practice and you'll get the corporal figure soon," Kingsley declared with a grin. He then cleared his throat and got the attention of the rest of her group.

" The rest of you should consider taking a path that isn't easy. OWLs are an important factor in forming your futures. Don't take them so laxly. You may leave now," Kingsley finished. After bidding her patrol partner goodbye, Lily grabbed her bag and headed for the castle. She wanted to finish memorizing the dates from the giant war. Lily walked through the castle and headed for the library.

Someone grabbed her and pulled into an alcove. Lily looked up and met Jason's eyes. She glared at him and shoved out of his grip. He turned her with a pleading expression.

" What? Are you back to taunt me about some bloody letters," Lily snarled. She regretted it when a look of pain crossed her brother's face.

" No I wanted to tell you that since Julius died, Pericles has taken over my legal guardian position," Jason mumbled. Lily nodded and he continued.

" Lily come home this summer please. You can still do your muggleborn thing, but it's horrible at home. Lucian is planning to propose to Rosier soon and Pericles is always at Mungos. Cassius is going to some internship in Egypt. I'm going to be alone." Jason lamented.

Lily could see fear in his eyes. He was a Gastor, and his tight-knit family was falling apart. But her anger and bitterness about her own experience with her family didn't let her feel sympathy for him.

" Go sob on one of your groupies. Jason, I went through what you'll be going through when I was nine. Frankly it was probably one of the best things that happened to me. I couldn't care less about little ickle Jason being alone. Besides you'll have your group of imbeciles around," Lily sneered.

She shoved him harshly and quickly walked out of the hallway. Lily regretted her harsh words and the bitterness in them. But she had to say them. Her brothers and family forgot about her for close to six years. Only when she returned did they flock back to her ready for a family picture. Well she wasn't fine with that. Half of her family was dead. The other half killed civilians for fun. She refused to show them any type of sympathy anymore.

She would open those stupid letters by the end of the school year. And after that she would be done with the Gastors.

" Abraxas Malfoy has openly declared his opinion of Bagnold," Emmeline announced. Lily looked up from her Charms textbook. OWLs were starting the next day so Lily decided to get some quick last-minute review. The ten 5th and 6th year Gryffindors were stationed near the grounds surrounding the castle. The 6th years were going over some material with the 5th years. Alice and Adam sat with Benjy and reviewed Arithmancy. Emmeline and Gideon were sitting near them tutoring Michael in History of Magic. Frank stood by Marlene and assisted her with Herbalogy. That left Fabian to sit with Lily and review the 5th year Charms textbook.

Emmeline had brought her copy of the Daily Prophet with them. She occasionally glanced at it while correcting Michael's essay. Lily tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

" He's saying that Minister Bagnold is too old for this job. They need a fresh young face, such as the late Julius Gastor," Emmeline read aloud. Lily dropped her quill at the idea of her brother as Minister. He was too harsh and cruel for that. But then again he was also dead.

" Malfoy is a prejudiced bloke. Bagnold's trying to fight you-know-who back and Malfoy is a purist," Alice snorted.

" Besides, elections for Minister aren't for another four years," Gideon added. Frank looked up and ran a hand through his hair. Lily was reminded of Potter by this gesture.

" Malfoy is trying to get the Wizengamot to consider impeaching Bagnold," Emmeline answered. Lily was shocked. Getting a minister of magic removed was a long and strenuous process. It would take at least a year for that to be settled.

" No matter how many purists are on the Wizengamot impeaching Bagnold won't work. The process and evidence takes too long to settle," Marlene responded. Adam wore a dark expression as he looked up from a textbook.

" If Bagnold was accused of treason then they could impeach her, quickly" Adam added. Lily remembered overhearing the death eaters' plans at the meeting she snuck into. She wondered if Kingsley had told Dumbledore what happened at the meeting.

Lily noticed that most of their group was uncomfortable with the subject. Michael looked up from his scroll and faced the group.

" I heard there's a Hogsmeade trip on the weekend OWLS end," he announced. Lily perked up at this; she was hoping to get some chocolate from Honeydukes before the end of term.

" That's new. But I guess it'll be for the good," Fabian quipped. Lily nodded and turned back to her book. Around dusk the group packed up and headed for the castle. Lily ate a quick dinner and headed for Gryffindor Tower before her friends. She was hoping that she could actually get some sleep that night.

Lily was planning. She would focus on her OWLS for the next two weeks and then she could move on. After OWLS ended, there was a final week of school. After that summer started. Lily had no idea what she could do for the summer.

She couldn't return to France. The idea of facing the sprawling, memory-filled Auclair Manor was too painful for Lily. She wasn't ready to face all of the ghosts she left behind. Lily wondered what Benjy Auclair was doing. She knew that he was working for Voldemort, but he never made an attempt to contact Lily after their duel in Hogsmeade.

Lily felt so hurt when she thought about Benjy Auclair. He had been there for her entire life. He was there to pick up Lily's broken pieces when she was sent to France, and watch her heal. Lily never thought that her sweet angel could be a death eater. She never knew that he had feelings for her either. Lily couldn't think about him now; it was too hard.

Lily could spend her summer in England, which seemed like the most likely possibility. But there was always a chance of running into one of her brothers, especially since she was neighbors with Black. Lily felt uncomfortable at the thought of running into him or one of his eccentric relatives.

Lily felt someone shove past her. She looked up and paused. The corridor was entirely empty. Lily looked around and saw that no one was here. She shivered and continued walking. It must have been a hallucination, she thought.

Lily reached the common room and climbed the staircase up to her dorm. She changed into a t-shirt and loose pants. Lily heard a hoot and turned. She smiled when she saw a familiar owl by the window.

" Hestia," Lily crooned. She went over to the window and pulled the letter from Hestia. Hestia flew off with a hoot in Lily's direction. Lily left the window open and went to her bed. She sat on it with crossed legs and opened the letter. Her heart skipped a beat when she recognized Selena Kingsmill's handwriting.

_Dear Lily,_

_I was considering traveling to England and hexing you! You need to write more. School just ended last month. We all miss you so much, the girls said to say hi. You're not missing much though. Professor Gladstone is still convinced that Lea Baumann is a death eater in disguise! There haven't been any attacks here. We have gotten a severe influx of Dementors. In school learning the Patronus Charm became mandatory. I mastered it right before school ended; I've got this adorable fox._

_Home is different. Galen is never home. His work with the auror department is too important apparently to visit his sister. He refuses to date though, I think that kiss between the two of you ruined his mentality. Dad is always at the hospital with mom. She's gotten worse. The healers think she has a month left. I don't have much time to write; I'm actually writing this in the bathroom of the hospital._

_How is your muggleborn plan going? I expect you to be the most muggle of all the muggleborns. You're always watching those horrid muggle movies!_

_Dad wants me to tell you that you're always welcomed in our house, which is a tad ridiculous since you got inheritance of your grandparents' villa across the street._

_Write back soon Lils!_

_Your favorite Greek,_

_Selena Kingsmill_

Lily grinned at the sarcastic comments her friend made. She traced one word and looked up. Galen Kingsmill had always been a distant reminder of her past. Lily had though he was her first kiss but he wasn't. In Greece, magical school ended after six years. Selena would be done next year. Galen was two years older than Lily and Selena. He worked for the Greek Auror Department. Lily smiled fondly as she remembered her time in Greece.

Her grandparents had been strict, but the Kingsmill family made it worth it. Lily sighed and placed the letter inside of her nightstand. She didn't have the will to go down memory lane right now. Lily slid under her covers and evened her breathing. She fell asleep dreaming of beaches and sea salt kisses.

The next morning, the Great Hall was silent. None of the younger students dared to speak. The 5th and 7th years anxiously waited for their OWLS and NEWTS to start. Lily could see an extra table filled with examiners brought in. She avoided looking in that direction and turned to her empty plate.

The 6th years sat a few seats in front of the 5th years due to Marlene almost hexing Gideon for speaking too loudly. Marlene and Benjy were cramming names of charms into their heads. She watched them flip pages of a textbook quickly. Michael sat to her left eating quite boisterously. Lily could feel the tension in the room. It hummed and throbbed out of the 5th and 7th years.

Ravenclaws calmly ate nutritious food across the hall. The Hufflepuffs were in a frenzy to complete some last minute studying. The Slytherins appeared to be doing what she was doing. They observed the Great Hall with smirks. Lily sighed when James Potter's eyes flashed towards her. She blushed a cherry red and turned from him.

Lily couldn't take this. She stood suddenly and felt eyes fly to her. Lily blushed when she caught the examiners watching her curiously. She exited the Great Hall in a flash of red. Lily briskly walked out to the Entrance Hall and sat by a window.

She held her head in her hands and waited for breakfast to end. Students began to trickle out of the hall and head for their first period classes. Lily caught quite a few of them glancing in her direction. She ignored them and looked at the ceiling. About twenty minutes later, she felt someone sit next to her. Lily looked to her left and caught Marlene watching her.

" The entire hall was sure that you had a panic attack like Bones," Marlene snickered. Lily blushed and looked around the entrance hall. The 5th and 7th years milled about in it. She knew that the Charms OWL would be administered in the Great hall. Lily assumed that the hall would be split to accommodate the NEWT students and the 5th years.

Lily stood and looked around the entrance hall. She caught a flash of gold hair near her. Lily turned and raised her eyebrows amused. Jason and the other Marauders were surrounded by a gaggle of fangirls who appeared to be fawning over them. Jason caught her eye and smirked. She rolled her eyes and faced the door of the hall.

Professor McGonagall stepped out and announced, by class, who could enter. Lily's charms class went in last. She entered and saw that rows of desks and chairs had been set up. A booklet and two quills sat on the desks. Lily could see where her class was and walked over. She found her seat and saw that Benjy was sitting to her left. Sadly a head of meticulous black curls sat in front of her. Lily glared at Black's head and turned. She caught sight of Jason's shaggy hair directly behind her and blushed.

He kept his finger over his lip and shushed her. Lily harrumphed and turned. Professor McGonagall stood in the front of the room and recited the rules about cheating. Silence fell over the room and she pursed her lips.

" You may begin," Professor McGonagall declared. She turned a giant hourglass next to her. The sand fell and Lily began.

Lily flipped her booklet over and wrote her name on the cover. She opened it and read the questions with a smile. Charms was one of Lily's better subjects so she grinned as she quickly scrawled out answers to the questions.

She wrote the answers to questions regarding the nature of a cheering charm and the levitation charm in a light scrawl. Lily tightened her ponytail and turned pages. Her fingers were stained with ink as she quickly answered the test. Lily hunched over and her eyes darted across the paper.

After an hour of this, Lily's hands ached. They were covered in ink splotches as Lily leaned up. She felt her back crack and wiped her brow. Lily closed the booklet and stretched her fingers out. She still had an hour left. Lily looked around and saw that all the people in the room were still working. She cracked her neck and tightened her ponytail.

Lily opened her book and rewrote every answer to the test in her neatest French Cursive. After fifty minutes, she finished this. Lily checked her answers one last time and closed her booklet. She straightened it and the two quills she used. Lily felt confident that she had done well on the exam. She peered around the room and saw that most of her peers were quickly answering questions, while their eyes darted to the hourglass in the front of the room.

Lily looked behind her and saw that Jason was also done. His eyes watched her movements. He caught her eye and smirked. Lily internally groaned. She looked down and smiled. Lily pushed her chair back and forced it on something. She heard a loud groan come out from behind her as Jason moved his foot from under her chair.

She could feel eyes from all over the hall dart towards Jason in speculation. She smirked at him and he had the grace to blush. Professor McGonagall caught their exchange with muted amusement. Lily turned and watched the last sand crystals fall.

Professor McGonagall accioed all the tests and sent them out of the room. Lily exited and headed for where Marlene and Michael stood. Michael appeared to be describing one of the questions. He looked up when Lily came to them.

" What happened to Gastor towards the end of the test? It sounded like he got punched down there," Marlene inquired. Lily blushed and told them what she did. Marlene and Michael burst into laughter and Benjy soon joined them. They went over a few questions from the test and were assured that they had done well.

After lunch, the Great Hall was cleared out again and the 5th years were sent to the Entrance Hall. Lily watched groups of five head inside the hall. She was called in with Benjy Fenwick's group and went inside. Lily was directed to an elderly wizard. He greeted her and asked her to perform certain charms.

Lily thought it went well as she exited the hall. Her Levitation and Growth charms were perfect, and her color-change charm was spectacular. Lily headed for the library to brush up on some Transfiguration for the next day's exam. She finished one OWL, now she had eight left.

The next day was a repeat of the previous, but with Transfiguration. Lily entered the written exam with spells and theories buzzing inside of her head. She left the practical sure that she had done well. Her written exam had gone well, but her vanishing spell took a tad longer than she had hoped for.

On Wednesday, the Herbalogy OWL was given. Lily had a green thumb so she was confident in her capabilities. That night at dinner she was still confident in her answers as she laughed at a retelling of how Marlene managed to get her entire left arm swallowed by the Fanged Geranium.

Thursday was her DADA OWL. This year, they decided to give the practical before the written exam. Lily was able to perform all the counterjinxes and defensive spells spectacularly. She could feel Bishop Shacklebolt watching her with a grin. Her examiner was a short bustling wizard. He glanced around the room and whispered to Lily.

"So far you've done well enough to get an Outstanding. If you're as good at the written test as this then you'll be guaranteed an Outstanding. I've got some friends in the auror department who told me that you dueled ten death eaters by yourself back in December. If you are willing to show me your nonverbal stunning spell for a bonus point of course," the man questioned. Lily nodded and grinned. She could feel the spell on the tip of her tongue, but she didn't say it instead she felt it.

Lily imagined the shooting motion of the spell and coaxed it into her wand. A bright bolt of yellow light shot out of her wand and hit the table in front of her. It flew back and nearly hit a Ravenclaw. Her examiner applauded her spell and apologized to the Ravenclaw.

Lily left the room with a grin. She ate lunch with her friends and waited for the written exam to begin. The seating of this test was organized by last name for classes. Lily slid into a seat in front of Benjy Fenwick. In front of her was Black. For every OWL she had taken so far, Lily had not been too far from Sirius Black. He sat in front of her, to her sides, and behind her all at one point.

Professor Flickwick indicated for them to start and Lily opened her booklet. She lightly wrote out the answers to every question in record time. Lily answered questions about spells and dark creatures until her left hand was smudged thoroughly with black ink. She sighed and stretched after finishing the test for the first time. Lily swatted a strand of hair out of her face and opened her booklet again. She licked her chapped lips and glanced at the hourglass, she had an hour left.

Lily neatly pressed her quill against the paper and rewrote every answer again in her best French script. She reread every question and her answers until the letters blurred inside of her head. Lily let out a soft sigh when she pushed her booklet away. She closed it and placed her quills on her desk. Lily looked up and saw that she still had at least twenty minutes before the test ended.

She mulled over her options. The mere thought of opening her test was nauseating so she abandoned it. Lily sighed and looked up. She saw Black give someone a thumb up and turned in that direction.

Lily wrinkled her nose when she caught sight of James Potter grinning at Black. His eyes turned and a pair of hazels looked at Lily. She blushed and Potter ran a hand through his hair arrogantly. Lily glared at him and turned. She could almost hear his silent laughter.

Lily saw Remus to the left of her. He was pale and a new scar covered his arm. Lily pursed her lips remembering that the past Sunday had been a full moon. Lupin frowned at his paper and scratched his chin with the top of is quill. Near him was Marlene. Lily could see her friend lounging in her seat as she answered a question. Lily could see Jason sitting somewhere behind her with a bored expression. A few seats behind him was Michael. Lily smiled when she saw a smear of ink on her captain's forehead. His eyebrows were furrowed as he flipped through the booklet.

Lily heard footsteps hear her and turned. Black had leaned back and his head was close to her desk. A few of his curls laid on the surface of her desk. Lily could feel the jealous stares of girls from across the hall. Well she didn't want to be in such a close proximity to Black.

Lily bit her lip as she inched her foot forward. Black was swinging carelessly on two legs of his chair. She clenched down on her lip as she swung her feet around the legs of Black's chair. As he took a dramatic swing Lily pulled her feet in and felt Black's body fall out of his chair. She quickly moved her feet away from the scene.

Black let out a curse as he loudly landed on the hard ground. The entire hall turned to him with curious expressions. Black's face was thunderous and kept grins off of theirs.

"Is there a problem Mr. Black," Professor Flitwick asked. Black merely said a loud no and grabbed his seat. He sat in it and titled the chair in Lily's direction. She ignored him and waited for the final sand crystals to pour out of the hourglass.

" Quills down please!," squeaked Flitwick. " That means you too Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! Accio!"

Over a hundred rolls of parchment zoomed into the air and into Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him backwards off his feet. Several people laughed. A couple of students at the front desks got up, took hold of Professor Flitwick beneath the elbows and lifted him back on to his feet.

'Thank you . . . thank you,' panted Professor Flitwick. 'Very well, everybody, you're free to go!' **(Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix)** Lily stood and walked towards the exit. She met up with Marlene, Benjy, and Michael and they set off to the Black Lake. They sat on the pier and spoke about the test. Some Ravenclaws joined them. Lily heard a shout and turned.

Near them, by a large oak tree were the Marauders. They sat leaning against the solid wood of the tree. Lily could see Lupin and Black speaking in low voices about something. Jason sat in between them holding a piece of parchment and looking at it intently. Potter leaned against the wooden tree playing with a snitch.

A group of giggling girls surrounded them. A few threw flirty glances at Potter as he performed more and more dangerous tricks. Lily begrudgingly admitted that he was a decent seeker, but nowhere close to her capabilities.

Lily understood a snitch better than anyone. She knew that snitches lived for the chase and tried to make it interesting. Being a seeker was like hunting a doe. In order to catch the snitch Lily always expressed an air of humility around the snitch. She tried to show the snitch that it was better than her. Once it reveled in her admission, Lily snuck in for the killer blow.

Her strategy had worked for over four years. Lily was proud to say that she had never gone a single Quidditch game without catching the snitch. She had lost games due to not having enough points, but that wasn't her responsibility. Lily felt a pair of stormy silver eyes dart in her direction. She met Black's eyes with a defiant stare. He smirked and stood. Lily saw that he was motioning for her to go to him. She rolled her eyes and turned to her friends, ignoring Black.

A few minutes later a shout disturbed the group's discussion about the Potions test on Monday. Lily turned in the direction of the shout and groaned. Black was cupping his mouth and shouting to her.

" Evans yes you! Are you deaf? I asked you to come here," Black shouted. Lily blushed when a dozen pair of eyes darted to her. She ignored Black and turned to the Lake. Lily faced the waves and studied the Bluish-green tone of the water. She could hear Black's shouts in the background but didn't turn to him.

Lily refused to cater to Black's wants. She decided that the Black Lake wasn't very black it was more malignant green. Lily smiled at her decision. She didn't notice a spell racing towards her. Lily let out an exclamation of shock as a spell hit her back and seemed to grab her.

She was propelled backwards. Lily stared at her friends in shock, but they appeared to be even more shocked. Suddenly she was dropped and fell in the air. Lily landed on something softer than ground, but still hard. She looked up and met a pair of amused hazel eyes.

Lily blushed crimson red and attempted to pull herself off of Potter's lap. He wrapped his arms around her and Lily glared at him. She looked up and saw Black standing in front of her with a maniacal grin. He twirled his wand in between his fingers and watched her. Jason and Remus stood on either side of Black and looked anywhere but at him. Every person who had gone outside after the DADA OWL ended watched this exchange.

Lily sighed and turned to Potter. He seemed content with his hold on her. She stared at him in disgust. Lily raised a hand a swung it back ready to slap Potter across the face. A fangirl cried out as her hand came dangerously close to his face. Abruptly, Potter's hand grabbed her hand and her other and held them down. Potter stood and pulled her up with him.

" Potter do you mind letting go of me," Lily asked through gritted teeth. She looked over at her friends who were approaching the crowd. Potter smirked and tapped the top of her nose.

" Why would I do that Evans? Padfoot just told me something interesting. It seems that you've attacked him," Potter scolded. Lily scoffed.

" I pulled his chair out during the test, big deal," Lily mocked. Potter clicked his tongue at her.

" Evans I seem to remember a certain deal made. For every time you do something I don't appreciate to me or one of my mates, well you know," potter said with a glance at the crowd surrounded them. Jason looked at Lily with a groan.

" Lily why did you make a deal with Prongs? He grew up learning how to manipulate things to his view," Jason groaned. Lily ignored him and turned to Potter.

" Potter you beat one of my mates so badly that he had to go to the hospital wing. I merely reset Black's ego to a proper level. It's only because I care about him, if his ego got any bigger then it could be too much for him to carry," Lily jeered. She heard Lupin snort with laughter and saw Black shove him.

" Evans you're not in the position to call out shots here," Potter responded. Black twirled his wand with a crooked leer. Lily looked at Jason and narrowed her eyes.

" Someone told me that you descended from Gryffindor you know. But it doesn't matter what type of blood you have. You're too cowardly to face me with an even fight," Lily sneered. She didn't know who this comment was directed at, but it could apply to both Jason and Potter. Jason flinched but quickly set his face to a neutral expression.

Potter on the other hand had so much rage and anger in his eyes. Lily saw a swirl of violence in his eyes. His grip tightened on her hands and Lily was almost scared. But she couldn't be afraid, she was Lily Evans and she would not be afraid. Potter had a dangerous edge to his eyes. Lily stared into them with defiance. He let go of her and walked way from her.

" You're actions will catch up with you Evans. One day, and it's coming sooner than you'd expect, you'll pay for every damn thing you've said with that bitchty mouth," Potter sneered. Lily felt her wrists ache and looked down. That was going to bruise. She looked up and balled her fists.

" That karma shit is for people who can't be good on their own. They use it to force themselves into being good. Well guess what Potter? I don't need karma to know that you're the most arrogant, egotistic arse to live on the planet! You bullied people into fearing you. I honestly can't see what girl see in you! You're a monster who has no morals. You take joy from other people's suffering. That's sadistic! You make me sick," Lily shouted. Silence fell over the lake when she finished.

Potter watched her with dangerous eyes. Lily could see a red-hot volcanic eruption of rage in his eyes. The other Marauders looked at him with cautious eyes. Black took his wand out and had it ready to hit Potter to keep him from attacking Lily. Lily gulped and watched him.

He stared at her with utter contempt. It was visible on his face and in his eyes. But there was something curious in Potter's eyes. He seemed to have a question.

" Who the hell are you," he demanded. Lily stared at him in shock. She was expecting a full on spoiled pureblood tantrum, not a question. His tone was filled with anger, but desperation was laced into it. The crowd watched him in shock.

Lily bit her lip and glanced at Jason. Her brother looked worried and watched her with concerned eyes. Seeing Jason's gold eyes brought reality to Lily. She felt it crash on her and break into shards. Lily never broke eye contact with Jason as she answered Potter's question.

" I'm Lily Evans, a muggleborn who's not afraid of you," Lily declared. Jason paled when he realized that Lily had fully given up her ties to their family. Potter's eyes were unreadable. Lily broke eye contact with Jason and grabbed her wand from where it fell. She walked to the crowd and it parted like an ocean. Lily held her head high as she strode through the parted mob.

She was Lily Evans and she refused to be afraid.

The next day none of the 5th year Gryffindors had any tests. Lily spent the day studying for her Potions OWL with Professor Slughorn. He seemed to adore her and had taken a fond interest to the new student. Lily stood next to him assisting him make a pepper-up potion.

" Miss Evans it's a shame you're always unavailable for my Slug club meetings. I know some people who'd be simply delighted to meet you," Professor Slughorn declared. Lily smiled ruefully and crushed the beetle shell under the handle of her knife.

Truthfully, Lily thought that the Slug Club was a teacher's not so secret way of showing favorites. She had gone once and left after five minutes. It seemed to be filled to the brim with purists who sneered at her muggleborn status.

" Sorry Professor. I had Quidditch and OWLS studying," Lily shrugged. She tossed the crushed shells into the cauldron and watched it fade to a subtle pink.

" Miss Evans you certainly have a lot on your plate! Do you have any idea of what you're planning on doing after school? I've got connections that could land you a spot working for a Potions company or even playing Quidditch for the harpies," Slughorn announced.

" I'm sorry Professor, but I'm planning on going into the Auror department once school is over," Lily admitted. Slughorn clicked his tongue as he dumped a pile of pickled belladonna into the cauldron.

" I've got some friends down there. I taught Bishop Shacklebolt and Alastair Moody myself," Slughorn mused. Lily nodded and stirred the potion.

" Don't worry professor. Even if I'm unable to work at the auror office here, I'm positive that the French Ministry will let me work there," Lily said. Slughorn perked up.

" What do you mean Miss Evans," he asked. Lily turned the potion counterclockwise seven times.

" I worked there for an internship a few years ago," Lily revealed. Slughorn was about to say something, but then he glanced at the potion and smiled.

" It's done," Slughorn announced. Lily helped him bottle the potion up and offered to take it up to the hospital wing for him. She carried the heavy container four flights of steps.

Lily knocked on the door and entered the room. The lights had been dimmed and she watched her feet as she walked. Lily saw that most of the beds were empty. She looked around for Madame Pomfrey, but couldn't find her.

" Madame Pomfrey," Lily shouted. No one came. Lily frowned, why would the hospital wing matron not be present. She placed the heavy container of pepper-up potion on a table and looked around.

Lily heard a moan come from one bed and looked over. Her heart faltered as she looked at the body on the bed. Lily gasped when she saw freshly healed cuts and bruises patterning the skin of the boy. She saw a pile of robes near the boy with a yellow and black tie. A Hufflepuff, Lily thought. The boy was young; too young to be in so much pain.

" Miss Evans what are you doing here," a voices questioned. Lily turned and gulped. Madame Pomfrey stood near her with crossed hands.

" Professor Slughorn asked me to deliver some pepper-up potion to you," Lily croaked. She pointed to the container and Madame Pomfrey nodded.  
" Best be off then Miss Evans," she announced. Lily heard another moan come out from the bed. She bolted to the stern nurse and tugged her sleeve.

" I'm sorry, but what happened to that boy there," Lily inquired. Madame Pomfrey's inquisitive face softened.

" Yesterday Mr. Diggory was patrolling the dungeons. He found Mr. Prescott in the dungeons bleeding out. Poor boy, won't say much to anyone. He's muggleborn, I doubt his parents are going to let him back next year," Madame Pomfrey explained. Lily's face pinched in distress.

Madame Pomfrey leaned in closer to her. Lily could see a worried expression on her face.

"Please keep this to your self Miss Evans. Last night Professor Shacklebolt took a look at Mr. Prescott. He believes that the boy was forced under the cruciatus curse," Madame Pomfrey revealed.

Lily's face whitened. She shivered remembering another boy similar to the one moaning in the bed. She remembered something she tried so hard to block out. Lily bit her lip and shoved those memories away. All she needed to know right now was that if anyone had a first hand experience with the cruciatus spell it was her.

Lily bid Madame Pomfrey goodbye and exited the hospital wing. She tried so hard to keep past memories in the past. But this one short half-year in England had brought ones that she had locked away years ago back. Lily needed something to get her mind off this. She needed a distraction.

Lily made it to the Gryffindor Tower and went up to her dorm. She knew that there was no possibility of her getting any sleep tonight. Lily's roommates were fast asleep. Lily vaguely wondered about how long it took her to get to the dorm. She grabbed her cloak and wand and bolted from the dorm. Lily knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep.

She snuck out of the common room and gave the fat lady a brisk apology. Lily paced the 7th floor of the castle. She bit her lip and walked. Lily wanted to do something. She needed to do something. Her fingers tapped out a tune against the material of her jeans. She scowled and yearned for a piano.

Lily looked at the wall next to her and jumped. She gasped and looked at the door that had appeared before her eyes. Lily glanced around the hallway and pulled her wand out. She tiptoed to the door and held the doorknob cautiously.

Lily bit her lip as she opened the door. She looked inside the room with her wand up. Lily gaped at the room in front of her. It was a crisp white room with a single thing occupying it; a masterpiece pianoforte.

Lily stumbled inside and closed the door behind her. She managed to get the magnificent instrument. Lily pulled her cloak off and left it on the cold marble bench. She sat on it and stared at the glossy instrument. It looked so new, yet it seemed to be ancient. It had an ageless elegance that almost brought tears to Lily's eyes.

Lily brought her trembling fingers to the masterpiece. She let them lightly hit the keys. A song that rested only in her memories was brought fresh to her memory. Lily closed her eyes and leaned her head back.

Her fingers glided up and down the sophisticated keys selected certain notes. Dulcet sounds echoed in the room as Lily played. She let her fingers dance with the music and played. Lily didn't need sheet music; the song she was playing was one that would never leave her.

The room was silent, yet so loud. She could hear crisp sharp notes let smooth ones mix with them. Lily's fingers crisscrossed the keys and twirled with the white-padded notes.

She felt her senses leave her. All she could do was hear. Lily leaned her head back and breathed the music in. She changed the piece and winced when her lack of practice appeared.

Lily bolted her eyes open and wrinkled her nose. She sat straight and brushed her hair over her shoulder and looked at the keys. Lily watched her fingers tango tempestually with the keys. She pounded out a song that she had only played once in her entire life.

The notes throbbed against each other demanding for freedom. They begged Lily to liberate them. She tried to free the notes. Her fingers speedily pranced against the porcelain keys as she tried. The room swirled with the music as she played. Lily kept her mind, her heart, and her soul into liberating the trapped notes.

She didn't notice that someone had entered the room twenty minutes ago. She didn't notice that a certain hazel-eyed boy was watching her in amazement. Well, after this boy let out an instinctive clap as she freed the last note from slavery.

Lily's eyes bolted up and she reached for her wand. She pressed a hand against her chest and calmed herself when she saw a familiar pair of square glasses. Potter stood near her piano watching her every moment. His clap had been in sync with the last note of the piece too perfectly. Lily looked at him with interest.

" Potter what are you doing here," Lily asked with a scowl. He watched her carefully. Lily was annoyed; she couldn't see any emotion in Potter's eyes. She looked down at her bruised wrists; the only physical reminder of their dispute the previous day. Potter gulped and looked where she was looked. His eyes narrowed he leaned his head back.

" Did I do that," he asked quietly. Lily looked up at him. He moved closer to her and she could see a storm of regret and pain in his eyes. Lily nodded and rubbed her wrists. Potter let out a moan of agony and kneeled by her. His head reached her chest. He pulled at her hands and held them out.

Lily watched him analyze her wrists with haunted eyes. He looked up at her and pressed his lips to her wrist. Lily shivered when she felt his tongue trace a circle on her skin. He placed her wrists back in her lap and looked up at her.

" Lily I'm so sorry. I've tried to hate you. I'm supposed to hate you. You're a muggleborn and I'm a pureblood. But no matter what I do you're always there. I can't sleep I can't breathe. Lily, I see you every night in my dreams. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm so bloody sorry," James cried out.

Lily's hatred and destestment towards him wavered. He didn't call her Evans; he called her Lily. With every second that passed as she looked into his eyes, she could feel her feelings of absolute and pure abhorrence fleeting.

Lily could see a tear peaking out of his eyes. She watched it slide down his tragically beautiful face and land on the floor with a deafening sound. Lily turned from him and faced the piano. She didn't play though.

" Potter you can't do this. You can't be an arse on minute and then become some tragic soul when you need to. Now if you could please stop following me and leave me alone then we won't be forced to deal with each other Potter," Lily muttered. She shoved Potter away from her and stood. Her heart didn't break at the lie she told; no it erupted into a spewing mess of pain and agony. Lily gasped at the pain and quickly surrounded it with walls. She cut it off and grabbed her cloak. Lily looked over her shoulder and saw Potter watching her. His eyes were broken and agonized. Suddenly a flash of coldness entered them. Lily's soul twisted at the cool glare Potter sent at her.

But she deserved it. Lily had morals. She was supposed to always give someone a chance. But even when James Potter had all but professed his undying love for her, Lily refused to even consider giving him a chance. James Potter had been in her life for a mere six months and he managed to destroy the person Lily tried to be.

Lily spent the weekend locked way in her dorm. She ate only the food Marlene brought up to her and spent her time studying. Lily couldn't go outside, she told Marlene to tell everybody that she was feeling peckish. But Lily didn't miss the all-knowing gaze in her roommates' eyes. She heard them at night debating whether it was a family or boy thing.

Lily entered the Great Hall on Monday morning with dread. She felt several eyes trace her figure as she walked into the hall. Her friends waved her over but she ignored them. Lily sat at the back of the Gryffindor table and pecked at a piece of toast.

She didn't know why Potter was having such a big effect on her. She knew that it must have taken a lot for him to look past the prejudices he was raised with to give her that apology. Lily knew there was more to what he said. Potter was admitting that he felt something more for her. She knew that his mentality was fragile due to his parents' deaths and the idea of breaking his morals for her.

Lily thought it was fitting; he broke his morals for her and she broke hers for him. Lily couldn't forgive him. She didn't care about the bruises, not she cared about the things he had done. Just because he admitted that he was wrong didn't mean that he was saint. No it was the opposite; Potter was human and that scared Lily.

Lily stared at her toast and groaned. She wasn't the type of girl to moan over a boy. She wrinkled her nose at what she had become. She was Lily Evans the girl who wasn't afraid of anything. Lily looked up and stood. She felt more eyes glance her way as she walked out of the Great Hall. Lily waited outside and watched people look at her with a scared expression. She wondered why.

Suddenly a flash of black entered her vision. Marlene grabbed her shoulder and shook her. There was a crazed gaze in Marlene's eyes.

" Lily what the hell is going on," Marlene demanded. Lily could feel her fellow 5th years watching them with interest. Potter looked at her with a cocky grin as he groped one of his fangirls. Yet Lily saw a flash of pain in his eyes. Lily turned and faced Marlene.

" Nothing to be afraid of," Lily managed to say. Marlene looked like she had another question, but Professor Sprout announced for them to enter the hall. Lily slipped into her seat and finished the written test in record time. She managed to rewrite and check her answers all before the first hour was up. Lily placed her booklet and quills to the side and relaxed. She caught several people glance in her direction with shock written on their faces. Professor Sprout watched her with a frown.

" Having any issues Miss Evans," the stout lady questioned. Lily felt all eyes in the hall glance her way. Black turned from his seat to her left. Lily grinned and looked up.

" Quite the opposite Professor, I've finished," Lily declared. Professor Sprout merely nodded and ordered everyone else to get back to work. Lily spent the rest of the test rubbing the ink stains on her hands.

She returned to the room in the afternoon. Lily managed to make the potion in less than ten minutes. She handed it to her examiner and left the room. She spent the afternoon studying with Michael for the Care of Magical Creatures OWL the next day. Lily smiled as the day ended; she managed to forget about her run in with Potter.

The next morning Lily was back to normal, as her friends said. She completed her Care of Magical Creatures written exam moments before the test ended. But lily was secure with her answers. She glided through the practical, managing to identify a Knarl in a cage of hedgehogs in seconds and select the dietary needs of a sick unicorn. Amy Diggory, the sister of Amos, left the test with a foot of burned hair.

Lily was sure that the girl had only taken the class to be with the Marauders. She sat with her friends laughing and teasing each other during dinner. The next day, Lily sat the Astronomy practical in the morning. She was a bit worried about it, since she managed to mix up one of Jupiter's moons with Saturn's.

The afternoon was spent on the Divination OWL. Marlene had a grand time telling her friends that Lily had managed to predict that her examiner was getting married only due to an untimely forget to use a contraceptive spell. Lily blushed remembering her examiner's blank stare at Lily's inaccurate predictions.

Lily's examiner was a soft woman who took it as a joke. She told Lily that she couldn't stand the blasted subject anyway. Not that she was planning on taking the course next year, but Lily was sure that she had gotten a passing score.

That night, the 5th years trooped up to the Astronomy Tower for the practical. Lily spent a good two hours searching the horizon for stars. She was one of the last to finish the test; but Lily knew that her answer were right. Being raised by a mythology-obsessed mother had its benefits. Lily and Marlene trooped to their dorm and fell asleep.

The next day was their last and final OWL. Lily and Marlene entered the Great Hall and were engulfed in a mood of edginess. Every person was tired of testing. Lily watched a Hufflepuff snore on top of a textbook. She sat in between Michael and Marlene. Frank and Gideon quizzed her on the Statute of Secrecy while she ate.

The 5th years waited outside of the Great Hall with anxious faces. The History of Magic OWL was the last OWL and consisted of only a two hour written exam. Bishop Shacklebolt called them in and Lily went over to her seat.

She ignored Black's leer as he sat directly behind her. Lily faced the front of the room and waited for the test to begin. Lily repeated her routine for the past exams. She answered questions on the Goblin rebellion and Giant War. Lily bit her lip as she debated an answer for a troll question. Lily smiled when she came across several questions related to the Statute of Secrecy. She would have to thank Frank and Gideon for studying with her later.

Lily finished rewriting her test twenty minutes before the end of the test. She felt Black lean back in his chair and place his feet on hers. Lily ignored him and crossed her arms. She closed her eyes and rubbed them. The minute she reached the dorm she was going to take a long and needed nap. Lily covered her mouth as she yawned.

She felt her neck prickle suddenly. Lily narrowed her eyes and looked around the room. No one was watching her, yet it felt as though someone was. Lily passed it off as a hallucination from sleep deprivation.

A whoop of joy crossed the hall when the last sand crystal fell. Bishop grinned and quickly summoned all of their exams. Lily linked arms with Marlene and headed up to the dorm ready to nap.

Lily was in a room. She didn't know where she was, but Lily peered out the window and saw a nice forest outside. Snow covered the trees in a thick blanket. She looked around the room and saw several toys and a basinet. Lily was sure that this was a nursery. She came across a mirror and glance at her reflection. Lily gasped.

She was old. Her body seemed to have aged at least two years. Lily's skin was still its creamy hue. Her hair was longer and straighter. It wasn't as golden-fiery as it was now. It appeared a deep and haunting crimson as it touched the tip of her waist. Lily could see that she appeared curvy and taller than usual. She wore a white dress and a pair of flats. Her eyes sparkled in the reflection with joy. She seemed to be glowing.

Lily moved her hand up and caught sight of her bracelet. She saw the half heart charm no longer broken; it was a perfect heart. Lily looked at it with wide eyes when she noticed her family ring situated on the bracelet. But she frowned she saw a ring on her finger. Lily turned her hand and gaped at the ring. It wasn't one she knew of. But she could tell that it was a pureblood family ring. Lily's blood chilled slightly; the only way she could be wearing another family' ring was if she had gotten married.

But that was impossible. Lily appeared to be only a few years older, she wouldn't have gotten married so young while she had auror training. Lily heard footsteps behind her but tuned it out.

The ring on her finger was amazing. The band was a crystal that Lily identified to be a diamond. Swirls of gold and green twisted around the band. She looked at the gem and saw a golden circle with the letter "P" engraved in rubies on it. Lily wondered whose family this ring belonged to. She felt someone wrap his arms around her and gasped.

Lily looked in the mirror and saw a mature form of James Potter staring back at her. His body was taunt and muscular against her back. His arms were even more powerful than their current state. Yet he held her body to his with some type of heavenly gentleness.

She could see that his hair was still a chaotic mess and he wore a familiar pair of square glasses. His hazel eyes twinkled behind them with joy. Lily caught sight of a duplicate ring of the one on her finger on his. She looked away from the mirror and turned up to him.

Potter smiled at her and kissed the top of her head. Lily blushed as his hands tugged her form into her side. He looked at her with a passionate love that almost burned her.

" Christmas aren't you going to give me a hello kiss," Potter teased. Lily found her body moving without control. It was as though she was viewing this scene as a third perspective.

" Why do you insist on calling me that," Lily asked with a familiar wrinkle of her nose. Potter laughed and kissed the tip of her nose.

" Lily, Christmas is always our thing. Look at the facts. First kisses under a mistletoe when we were eight. Meeting your secret persona at a ball when we were fifteen. And those other Christmases too," Potter mused. Lily felt him pepper kisses up and down her face. She felt herself smile at Potter.

" I guess so. Where's Harry," She mused. Potter smiled and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. James tucked her into her shoulder and led her over to the basinet. Lily could see a peaking pillow from her view of the bed.

Lily looked down and fell in love. The most perfect baby lay before her. His hair was the chaotic black mess that Potter had. He seemed to have a mix of Lily's creamy skin and Potter's tan skin. His eyes were a gorgeous laughing emerald green that seemed to open souls. Lily could see a Puddlemere United nightie adorning the baby's body. His face had Potter's structure. But his smile and laugh was purely Lily.

Lily tucked the blanket over the gurgling baby and kissed the top of his head. He yawned with a drowsy sigh. Potter pulled his arm over her waist and tapped a rhythm out on her hipbone.

" Harry's going to be seeker just like his mum," James declared. Lily looked up at him with a curious expression. James chuckled and rubbed Lily's shoulder affectionately.

" He was grand today. The little bloke joined his uncle Sirius in a cheer for Puddlemere at the game," James announced. Lily smiled and tucked her faced under James's chin. She froze when she realized that she wasn't referring to Potter as Potter, but James.

Lily felt Potter's throat vibrate as he held her. She felt so at peace. Lily watched the baby fall asleep. His mouth drooped open a bit and Lily's heart fluttered. Against her will, her hand brushed the mop of hair that the boy had. It was so soft, like Potter's.

" That's good. Is Sirius here," Lily asked. James leaned his head on top of hers and spoke.

" No, he wanted to get back to his home. Marlene is due any day now," James answered. Lily's lips moved without her consent.

" I know, Marlee wrote to me. It's rather convenient that Harry and their child will be going to Hogwarts in the same year," Lily mused. James chuckled and led her out of the room. He flicked his wand at the lights and they dimmed. Lily leaned further in James's hold and he closed the door to the nursery behind them. Lily looked around and noticed that they were in a large bedroom.

" Lily have I ever told you that you've got the most expressive eyes," James murmured. Lily's heart burst into fireworks when his lips brushed the corner of hers.

" I think you've done it before," Lily answered. James let out a low chuckle and faced Lily. Lily looked up into his eyes. She could see utter love and adoration in his hazel eyes.

" Well you do," James whispered. Lily watched him lean in and peck her lips. She gasped as they kissed. James pulled out with a sincere grin. He leaned in and kissed Lily's collarbone. She could see the star-shaped birthmark peek out. James leaned up and looked into Lily's eyes.

" Lily I love you," James pronounced. Lily wanted to stare at him in shock, but her body had other plans. It relaxed in James's hold and her mouth tapped his chest.

" James I love you," her mouth exclaimed. Lily felt a bolt of lightening shock hit her as she leaned in and kissed James.

" No," Lily shouted. She bolted up from her bed and choked for air. It was only a dream, she thought. Lily leaned back and let her head touch the wood of her bed frame. Lily looked around her and checked the time. She had only been asleep for three hours; but it felt like an eternity.

Lily placed her head in her arms as she remembered. She had a dream about her and Potter. It seemed so real, almost too real. She remembered the baby with Potter's hair and her eyes. Lily gulped and grabbed her wand. She couldn't take any risks. She just got Potter to stay away from her. She refused to let a dream ruin everything she worked for.

Lily held her wand to her temple. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth. There was only one way to get that horrible dream out of her head.

" Obliviate," Lily whispered. She felt something enter her mind and shred a memory to nothing. Lily smiled at the control she had over the spell. She placed her wand by her side right as the curtains surrounding her bed were yanked back harshly.

Lily blinked and met a pair of bright blue eyes. She groaned and turned away from Marlene.

" No get up right now," Marlene ordered. Lily snorted and glanced at Marlene through her half-closed eyes. Marlene was wearing a sundress and a pair of sandals. Lily noted that her friend had let her hair down.

" That's not going to work Lily. There's a party down by the lake for all 5th years and you are going," Marlene barked. Lily ignored her and shuffled under her covers. Suddenly her body was yanked and she fell off the bed. Lily turned to Marlene with a deadly stare.

" I'm not going, I'm sleeping," Lily grumbled. She tried to get back into her bed, but Marlene grabbed her shoulder and shoved her into the restroom with a dress.

" You're not coming out until you wear that dress and agree to come. And if you take longer than thirty minutes, I'll turn your broom into a pile of splinters," Marlene threatened. Lily flinched at the thought of her broom being ripped apart. She quickly showered and slipped into the dress.

" Happy," Lily strained as she exited the bathroom. Marlene looked her over and grabbed Lily's arm she tugged her over to her bed and attacked Lily's hair with spells and sprays.

" McKinnon," Lily roared. Marlene swatted her and finished her hair. She looked at Lily with a grin. She tossed Lily her wand and dragged her out the door.

" I honestly don't understand why I need to go," Lily whined. Marlene shushed her and led her out of the castle. Lily could see a mass of people sitting by a fire near the lake. She could hear the high notes of a Weird Sisters song. Marlene shoved her to a crowd of students.

Lily watched Marlene disappear into the crowd. She turned to the crowd and greeted a few Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs she knew. Lily looked around for her friends. She bit her lip and slid through the crowd. Lily accidentally shoved into someone's shoulder and mumbled an apology.

She reached the fire and saw that there were small clumps of students here. Lily wrinkled her nose when she caught sight of a couple snogging quite vigorously. " Well that Chang for you. He and Diggory's little sister can't keep off of each other. Those Ravenclaws are like bloody rabbits," someone said in her ear. Lily smiled at the familiar tone.

" Wasn't snogging one of your favorite activities," Lily asked with a mocking frown.

" It still is, but I have the courtesy to snog with the grace of a gentleman," Michael teased from behind her. Lily turned and grinned at him. She felt his eyes trace her yellow dress with curious eyes. He made a face and Lily quirked her head.

" You look like a candle," Michael muttered with amusement. Lily shoved him playfully and followed him over to a table. He pulled two cups from a pile and handed one to her. Lily took a sip and spit the liquid out. People around her turned to her and she blushed. Michael leaned over from his laughter. When he stood, Lily slapped him straight across the face.

" Wood I told you that I don't drink," Lily scolded. Michael ignored the red throbbing welt on his face as he laughed. Lily threw her cup out and tried to get the taste of firewhiskey out of her mouth.

Lily could see a few girls glancing at Michael from the corner of her eye. She pushed him over to them and watched him flirt with the girls. Lily walked through the crowd and greeted a few people she knew. She waved to Benjy, who was preoccupied in a heated conversation with some members of the Gobstone club. Lily could see Jason sitting with Black. The two of them sent charismatic grins to a group of girls who giggled.

She saw Lupin sitting alone. Lily's heart faltered. She knew that he was a horrible monster who killed innocents, but right now he looked so alone. Lily wondered why his friends abandoned him. She headed back to the drinks table and grabbed two bottles of butterbeer. Lily wove her way through the crowd and headed over to Lupin. He sat against the wood of a huge oak tree. She grimaced and remembered that that was the where she and Potter had their argument.

" Room for two," Lily asked. Lupin looked up and she offered him a bottle of butterbeer. He wore a shy smile and took the drink from Lily. She sat next to him and watched her classmates from a distance. She could hear the music mingling with their shouts and cheers of elation.

" What did I do," Lupin suddenly demanded. Lily looked over at him and peeled the wrapping of her drink. She knew what his question was directed about. Lily knew her answer. But she wasn't going to tell Lupin the truth.

" I don't know Lupin. You're a good guy but you let your friends push you into doing things that you don't really want," Lily explained. Lupin's eyes flashed with something close to sorrow.

" It's only right. They did so much for me, I'm just repaying them," Lupin croaked. Lily shook her head and took a swing of her drink.

" No. Friendship isn't some contract. If they're really your friends then they would accept you for who you are, not for what they want you to be," Lily argued. Lupin remained silent. Lily sighed and stood. She brushed the dirt from her dress and turned away from Lupin.

" I've done some bad things but that doesn't make me a bad person," Lupin announced. Lily faced him and narrowed her eyes.

" I guess it doesn't. But letting your friends manipulate you into killing and harming innocent people makes you a coward," Lily sneered. She turned and walked away from Lupin. She didn't know why, but his actions made her feel so pathetic. She trusted him, and he ripped her trust to pieces, just like everybody else she trusted.

Lily slipped into a crowd of dancing teenagers and crossed through them. She muttered apologies as she headed for the lake. Lily sat near the shore of the Lake. Lily removed the sandals that Marlene had taken from her cupboard. She kept next to her and dipped her feet in the water of the lake. Lily stared at the moon.

Her time was running out. She had until Saturday afternoon to open those letters. Lily felt so frustrated. She didn't have any other options, but she wasn't ready to read those letters. She couldn't look at her parents' last words yet. Lily blinked away a tear and let a sigh out.

She had no other option. On the train ride from Hogwarts, she would open those letters and see whom she was destined to end up with. She couldn't be afraid though, Lily refused to be scared.

" I am Lily Evans, and I will not be afraid," Lily whispered under her breath. She looked up to the moon. It was starting to wane. Lily felt her magic curl like a spring inside of her. Lately it was jumpy. It seemed to be worried about something. Lily felt a feeling of dread come onto her; something was going to happen soon.

Someone sat next to Lily and she turned. Lily met Marlene's blue eyes and relaxed. Marlene held a cigarette and tapped it.

" School is almost over. Only two more years left here," Marlene mused with a sad expression. Lily nudged her and smiled.

" Two years can be enough," Lily answered. Marlene didn't say anything. She crushed her cigarette under her hand. Lily watched smoke rise out of it and fade into darkness.

" Are you sure that you're okay with this," Marlene whispered in Lily's ear. Lily bit her lip and hesitated for a moment. It was the Friday of the last week of OWLS. Their testing had ended the day before, and as a treat the 5th and 7th years were given a trip to Hogsmeade.

Lily's friends had all paired off on dates. Alice and Frank were going to Madame Puddifoot's. Adam and Emmeline were in the Common Room enjoying the privacy of having no one around, as the younger students had classes. Marlene and Fabian were spending the day at the Quidditch pitch. Gideon and Benjy had a double date in the Three Broomsticks with a pair of Hufflepuff twins.

That left Lily and Michael together. Lily had been a bit apprehensive about going to Hogsmeade alone with Michael. But after his assurance of it being a friends' trip, she relented.

" It's fine Marlee. It's not like we're going to do anything interesting. Wood will probably drag me to the Quidditch store and lecture me on types of brooms," Lily explained. Marlene laughed and Michael turned to them.

" That's only the start. I plan on teaching Lily about the different types of material one can use to keep her broom in best condition. I don't want her Nimbus to get ruined over the summer," Michael explained. Lily groaned and entered Hogsmeade.

Her friends bid each other goodbyes and headed off in their dates. Lily and Michael walked through the village speaking in low voices. They stopped in a few stores and then headed out to the village pathway.

" I never got to give you my condolences about your brother," Michael muttered. Lily nodded and glanced around them. A few 5th years watched them curiously. She led Michael to the outskirts of the village and they walked closer to the Shrieking Shack.

"It's fine. Besides you sort of hated him," Lily answered. She could see the Shrieking Shack in the distance. Michael pulled his jacket off and tucked his wand into his pocket.

" That wasn't the point Lily. I'm not apologizing for his sake, I'm doing it for yours," Michael said with a frown. Lily's lips twisted into a slight frown.

" I know that but you don't need to apologize if you don't really want to," Lily chastened. Michael stopped her in front of the Shrieking Shack. Lily remembered her mum telling her about the ghosts that lived there. She shivered and took a step away from the house.

" Lily you're not getting the point of what I'm doing. Damnit I care about you Lily Evans! I don't care if you're a pureblood or a muggleborn. I don't care who your family is. I only care about you," Michael exclaimed. Lily could see passion in his eyes.

" Michael I care about you too," Lily said with a confused frown. Michael laughed coldly. Lily wondered how they got here. Why were they arguing?

" Lily you're so dense. I like you, as in I've wanted to do this ever since I first saw you," Michael said. He leaned down and kissed Lily. Lily froze. She realized that Michael could have been her future if she felt something, but she didn't. Michael leaned up and looked at Lily with beseeching eyes.

Lily pressed her fingers against her mouth. She looked up at Michael. He was so broken. He was just like her. Michael was so similar to Lily that it hurt. His parents never showed their love properly. He grew up to be wary with who he trusted. Lily knew in her heart that Michael was a spark waiting for someone to light him. She may have been his flaming inferno but he wasn't hers. Lily knew who was hers, but she hated him too much to ever consider letting him light her on fire.

Lily stared into Michael Wood's begging eyes. She could see sparks of fire on them. Lily hoped that Michael could see that there wasn't a fire in hers. She opened her mouth ready to answer his question.

" Michael I -," Lily started. Before she could finish, Lily heard a shout and felt a spell hit her back. She flew back and hit the ground with a deafening thud. Lily groaned and turned over. She could feel blood pouring out of her head. Lily looked up and saw Michael dueling someone. She tried to stand but couldn't.

Someone joined Michael's duel and Lily screamed as a spell hit his chest. He crumpled to the ground in a pile of blood. Lily crawled over to him and heard him moan. Her wand was inside of her pocket and her arms leaped to it. Before she could get it, another spell collided with her chest. She heard Michael scream with a mix of pain and rage. She fell to the ground and clutched her chest.

Oh Merlin it hurt. Lily blinked a tear away and saw Michael stand on shaky legs. He was hit with a spell to the chest and crumpled to the ground. Lily groaned as his torso fell on top of her. She could hear the laughter of her attackers. Lily looked up and heard the crunch of someone walking towards her.

She met a pair of cerulean eyes and gasped with shock. The man above her laughed cruelly and pointed his wand at her.

" Miss me Lily," he asked with a wicked grin. Lily heard him say a spell and felt it hit her chest. She screamed and screamed. The pain was overwhelming her. She could feel her mind starting to taper. Lily finally relented to the sweet darkness of oblivion with one thing on her mind; Benjy Auclair's cerulean eyes positioned directly above her staring at her prone figure with a pure chaotic horror.

* * *

**Lily was banished from England due to two things. She thinks that her parents were ashamed of her for sneaking in the Christmas ball and accidentally lighting the Rosier Manor on fire. That is true, yet there's more to the story. Lily couldn't control her magic so her parents sent her to Greece to learn how to control it and so they wouldn't have to deal with their rebellious daughter.**

**I've introduced Lily's life in Greece in this chapter. I'm debating between ending Confingo with Lily's 5th year and starting the next book with her 6th year or, having both her 5th and 6th years in Confingo. All I now right now is that Lily's life in Greece will slowly be explained in her 6th year.**

**Please Read and Review!**

**\- Rin**


	8. A Gold Cage

**Chapter 8 A Gold Cage**

**( Stairway to Heaven )**

* * *

_Beautiful Chaos_

Lily gasped as she opened her eyes. She squinted and tried to move her body. She felt a horrible pain lance through her head and left arm as she moved. Lily looked around her and saw that her wrists were encased by a pair of thick metal handcuffs, which tied to the wall behind her. Lily could see dried blood on the handcuffs. She hung from her wrists loosely. Lily felt pain in her left arm.

The room she was in had no windows. It was completely empty other than a lit candle stationed near the door. Lily was sure that the door was locked.

Lily moved her fingers and sighed with relief when no pain came. She tested every part of her arm until she reached the top section. Lily moaned when a bolt of agony hit her upper left arm. The bone was broken and there was nothing she could do.

Lily leaned her head back and tried to keep panic out of her. It wasn't working. With each second that past, Lily felt her magic roar with outrage inside of her. She was loosing control. Lily could see dried blood on her torn blouse and ripped jeans.

Lily let her head hit the wall behind her and winced. She did this with each part of her head. A storm of agony descended on her when the center of her back head hit the solid rock. She gritted her teeth and licked her chapped lips.

Lily had to get out before her magic got free. She remembered Benjy attacking her and Michael in Hogsmeade. Lily's heart pounded at the thought of Michael; she didn't know where he was. Dread crept up her throat as she worried about him. The wounds he had could have killed him.

Suddenly Lily heard the door open. She looked towards it and heard a cold laugh. Lily's stomach screamed with queasiness as she stared into a pair of cerulean blue eyes.

" Lily you're not looking well," Benendict Auclair taunted. Lily remained silent as he prowled over to her. His fingers twirled around his wand manically. He ran a hand through his brown hair and grinned at her. Lily met his stare with a blank one. He reached up and brought a hand to her face. Lily tensed as his fingers traced the planes and curves of her face. She flinched when his fingers reached for a clump of hair and harshly wound themselves around it.

" A reaction hmm. I almost thought that you were broken," Benedict sneered. Lily gulped and opened her mouth. She glared at him with defiance.

" You sick bastard," Lily growled. She felt his arms circle her waist and squirmed in his grip. She ignored the iron-rod pain in her arm. Benedict laughed a cold icy chuckle.

" I'll have you know that my parents were married when they had me," he teased. Lily snarled and moved in his tight grip.

" Don't speak about them. You're not worthy," Lily sneered. His eyes flashed with amusement and he pulled his wand out. Lily watched it as he raised it to her jugular. She stared at it as he leaned in and positioned his mouth by her ear.

" I'll tell you a secret Lily, I poisoned my dad for the last nine months of his life," he revealed. Lily shoved against his hold. She felt her magic lash out. The walls in the room began to shake around them. Benedict pressed his wand farther into her neck.

" I've been waiting for you to try something stupid since I entered the room Bring him in," Benedict barked. Lily heard the door open and turned to it. She gasped as two men dragged the limp body of Michael Wood into the room. She could see his scars had been opened up. And his eyes fluttered as the men chained him to a set of handcuffs across the narrow room. Benedict waved them off and the door closed with a heavy noise.

" If you or that magic of yours tries anything. Then I will kill Wood in seconds," Benedict ordered. Lily ignored him and stared at Michael. He groaned and his eyes opened. She met a pair of tortured brown eyes. His eyes darted from her head to her leg.

" Lils your head," Michael mumbled. Lily couldn't look at her head so she stared at him in confusion. Benedict sneered and pressed a hand to the back of Lily's head. Lily gasped at the pain and watched him show her his fingers. They were coated in a fresh layer of crimson blood.

" What do you want Auclair," Lily beseeched. She stared into Benedict's eyes with rage. He frowned when she said his last name. He moved his wand away from her neck and pointed it at Michael. Lily's eyes widened and he smirked.

" Say my name," he demanded. Lily stared at him defiantly and he smiled. Suddenly Michael's body twisted up in a spasm of torment. Lily stared at him in horror.

" Stop please Benjy stop," Lily croaked. Her captor smiled and Michael slumped in his chains. Lily breathed with relief and closed her eyes. She was trying so hard. Lily's eyes brimmed with tears as her magic thrashed out against the prison she forced it into. It needed to protect her, it wanted to kill and destroy. Lily shoved it down and felt it lash out at her.

Her body shoved against the wall of the room and Lily felt her chest tremor with pain. Benjy watched her with horror. He seemed concerned and sucked a breath in as Lily's white blouse darkened with crimson blood.

" Lily what are you doing," he demanded. Lily managed a tight grin as her magic pounded against its prison. She coughed and blood oozed out of her mouth. Benjy wasn't the one doing this to her; no it was her.

" You told me to control my magic," Lily gasped. It ripped a wall off its prison and screamed. Lily screamed with it. She felt her body arch with pain and slumped against the wall. It was winning; it was going to get control. Lily screamed out loud and the walls of the room shook again.

" Lily," Michael shouted. Lily heard his voice and grit her teeth. She forced her magic down with one intent; to save Michael. She slumped against the wall and felt blood drip across her torso.

" The Dark Lord will be pleased when I deliver you to him," Benjy muttered under his breath. Lily looked at him with anger. She couldn't face Voldemort; she would be forced into a weapon.

" Why are you doing this," she gasped.

" After you prevented me from retrieving that box for my master, I needed something to keep him from getting any further anger. Offering him you was my best bet," Benjy revealed. Lily felt Michael's eyes on Benjy's back.

" I thought you loved me," Lily said. Benjy's face contorted in confusion.

" I do. If I give you to the Dark Lord then he will give me you, once he has managed to remove that horrible extra magic you have," Benjy said. Michael's head jerked up.

" Lily what is he talking about," Michael asked. Lily ignored him, but Benjy let out a bark of laughter.

" You haven't told your mudblood loving boyfriend what you really are? That's pathetic, maybe I'll tell him myself," Benjy mused.

" No," Lily said. But Benjy ignored her he walked over to Michael and stood across from him. The first thing he did was punch Michael straight across the face. Michael grimaced by didn't make a noise.

" That was for kissing Lily," Benjy growled. He seemed to have forgotten about Lily. She gritted her teeth and tucked her legs under her body. Lily pushed her feet against the blood-splattered wall and positioned them so she was horizontal and pointed towards Benjy's back. She bit her lip and felt blood dribble down her face as her arm protested. Lily could see drops of her blood fall to the ground.

" You don't even know what Lily's even capable of Wood! There's a monster inside of her; it's her magic. Think about it. Her blood descends from Merlin and Circe. Her blood has almost too much magic in it. She's got a closer tie to magic than any wizard alive, well excluding the Dark Lord and the deranged senile idiot Dumbledore," Benjy sneered.

Lily felt Michael stare at her in confusion. Benjy laughed but didn't turn to her.

" My master will learn how to harness her extra magic and become the most powerful wizard alive. Then he will eradicate all the filthy muggles and mudbloods in the country," Benjy taunted.

Lily felt something inside of her snap. But it wasn't her magic; it was her capability to block her memories out. She felt everything she ever experience flash in front of her. All the pain and suffering mixed with the joy and elation. As Lily relived her memories she found something in common in each of them; the people in them were worth fighting for.

Lily eased her magic out of the cage she bound it in. She gave it control and let it create chaos. Her world blurred as her magic roared with power. It snapped the chains trapping her like a piece of Styrofoam. Lily felt magic pulse out of her heart and into every vein in her body.

It took the throne she relented to it with grace. She felt it explode with freedom and liberation. She coxed it over to Benjy who was watching her with horror. She let it swing at him and send his body flying into a wall. He fell with a sickening crack.

It turned to Michael. Lily felt it appraise him and move to hit him. He flinched at the glare she gave him.

" No," Lily screamed. She quickly shoved her magic out of control and imprisoned it once more. She blinked and got control. Lily stood in front of Michael. She looked at the havoc her magic had made.

The room they were in was lit ablaze with her magic's signature fire. Benjy was in a corner with a pool of blood surrounding him. Lily saw a familiar crest on the stone of the wall and shivered. She knew where they were. Lily turned to Michael and saw that he was watching her with wary eyes. She ignored the throb of pain in her chest that came from his heavy stare and walked over to Benjy. She found the key to his shackles in Benjy's pocket. Lily saw his wand near him.

Lily walked over to Michael and freed him. He slumped against her for a moment. Lily noticed that his shirt had been discarded. But she couldn't see an inch of his bare chest. She could only see blood and long cuts staining his torso. Lily faltered and heaved under the pressure of his weight and her own.

" Lily," Michael murmured into her bloodstained hair. Lily's heart thumped with his as she leaned against him and he leaned against her. She looked at him and saw that his eyes were drooping. His skin was a chalky-white and Lily could feel his heart beating languidly.

" Michael no! Don't fall asleep. You've lost too much blood," Lily whimpered. Michael leaned his head back.

" I've been through hell twice Lils, I'm done fighting. Do me a favor, if you ever face Voldemort, and he tries to get you to join, you tell him never in a fucking million words, you old deranged bastard," Michael ordered. Lily felt tears openly pour from her eyes when he finished. She grabbed his head and did the one rational thing she could think of. Lily positioned her mouth near his and felt his ragged breath hit her cheek.

He watched her with open eyes. Michael leaned forward as Lily brought her hand into the air and slapped him straight across the face.

" Fucking hell! I'm dying and you decide to slap me," Michael exclaimed. Lily shoved him up and stared at him.

" You're not dying, I won't let you. The day you die I'll kiss you, but you're not dying today," Lily vowed. Michael narrowed his eyes at her speech and winced with pain. But then he grinned, and it was marvelous.

" At least kiss my cheek," Michael smarmily bargained. Lily stared at him in shock and slapped him again. She ignored his string of curses and looked at Benjy's flaccid body. A pool of blood surrounded his head. Lily's heart strained; he was supposed to be her angel, but he was really her demon.

Her arm and chest ached with pain. Her head was a numbing pain that seemed unearthly. Lily led Michael over to Benjy. He stared at her old friend's limp body.

" What are we going to do with him," Michael asked. Lily grabbed the wand off the floor and muttered a spell. It hit Benjy and he was paralyzed. Lily groaned at the pain she felt. She had tired, so tired. She had drained her magic too much today.

" We're going to send him to hell," Lily announced. She thought that they could take him to the aurors and get him sent to Azkaban. Lily led Michael through the door and levitated Benjy's body from behind her. She shivered at the damp state of the place they were in. Michael scowled and wrapped one of his bloody arms around her.

" Where are we," he asked. Lily gulped and licked her lips she saw their wands sitting by the door and grabbed them. She tossed one to Michael who muttered lumos and the darkness lit up. Lily could see that they were in a dungeon. It shouldn't have survived. Lily could feel the heat of the flames in the room following them.

" We're below the ruins of the Auclair Manor, most accurately the dungeons," Lily answered as she looked at the familiar crest carved into a stone. Michael hid his shock and glanced at the flames that were following them. He pulled her forward and she led him towards the stairs. Flames danced around their feet. Lily could see a flame embracing Benjy's arm. But they didn't have time to put it out. Lily ran and coughed from the smoke.

Lily wondered where the men that brought Michael in were. She hoped they left before the fire started. She saw a wooden beam collapse and fall into waves of fire to her left. Lily choked in the smoke. She pressed her shirt into her mouth and propelled Benjy's body forward. Lily was so weak and tired. Michael let her lean against him as he pulled them out of the flames.

Lily saw something in the corner of the room. She panted and tugged on Michael's sleeve.

" Look! There are fireworks down here. If they're lit then this entire dungeon will collapse on us," Lily exclaimed. She coughed and blood fell out of her mouth. Michael let out a string of curses and pulled her forward.

" Drop that bastard, we'll move faster," he ordered. Lily bit her lip and debated this. Benjy had tortured and maimed not only her, but also Michael. If she dropped him it was increase her and Michael's chances of surviving. Yet Lily couldn't do this.

" No we're taking him or dying here with him," Lily barked. Michael rolled his eyes and pulled her closer to him. Lily screamed as flame touched her and Michael's back. He groaned and faltered. Lily pulled on him and pushed him up.

" Don't give up Wood," she ordered. Lily dragged his body closer to the staircase. She could feel her body aching and protesting. But she couldn't give in. She was Lily Evans and she refused to be afraid.

Michael groaned and stood. Lily could see fresh burns on his back. He suddenly shot up with strength. Lily coughed and leaned over. Blood and bile spewed from her mouth, but Michael grabbed her. He tugged her into his side and dragged them forward. Lily's arm limply pointed at Benjy's body and she was barely able to keep him up.

As they reached the staircase Lily felt a bolt of strength surge through her. She grabbed Michael and tugged him up the stairs. They ended up crawling up the last three steps. Smoke came out with them. Flames licked their heels.

Lily gulped for air. Michael stood next to her and vomited a mix of blood and bile. She copied him and dropped Benjy's body. She gulped for air. Her wounds screamed with agony but she didn't care. Lily knew that her nerves were probably dead in those areas but she didn't care. Lily had never been more grateful for air.

Michael stood suddenly and threw her wand to her. She took Benjy's and snapped it in half. Lily chucked it into the staircase. She groaned and remembered something. Lily quickly levitated Benjy's body and started running.

" The fireworks," she yelled. Michael cursed and followed her. Lily had never been more grateful for the running drills Michael forced the team to complete at practice. Blood and bile dripped from her mouth as she and Michael skirted around the runs of the Auclair Manor. When they reached the edge of the house, which was surrounded by old shards of glass, Lily jumped over the crumbling structure and bolted for the woods nearby.

Michael ran next to her letting out grunts of pain. Lily could see black blood dripping from his back. She heard an explosion and felt something hit her back. Lily screeched as her body flew into the forest. She landed and hit a tree on the outskirts of the forest. Benjy hit the tree with a thud and crumpled to the ground. Lily looked at his pale form and was sure that he died.

She blinked tears back and realized there was nothing she could do. He was still alive when she levitated him out of the burning dungeon, but when his body collided with the solid wood of the tree at such a high speed, Lily was sure he was dead.

She crawled over to him and choked. His eyes were glassy and his limbs pointed out at odd angles. His head was snapped back and she could see blood polling around his legs, chest, and head. Lily grabbed a nearby tree branch and stood with shaky hands.

" Lily! Oh fuck where are you," a voice shouted. Lily looked up and saw Michael walking by her. His chest and were a mess of large slices and blood. She wondered how he was still alive. A large cut crossed his forehead and traveled down to his jawline. It bordered his hair from his face.

" Michael," Lily gasped. He saw her and ran over to her. He tripped occasionally and was forced to lean over and cough up blood. Lily slowly limped over to him. She couldn't feel her right arm and her left legs was a mess of blood and gore. She could see a hint of white bone marrow.

Lily realized how ridiculous they must have looked. She was hobbling and he was wheezing. When she reached him Lily could see the distant explosion of fire and inferno from the ruins. She could feel the moon's light wrap them in a gentle embrace.

Michael pulled Lily into a tight hug. Lily wrapped her left arm gingerly around his shoulder. Michael looked down at her and sucked in a breath.

" Fuck Lily you're hurt," Michael said. Lily snorted and looked at Benjy's body.

" You're worse Wood," Lily shot back. Michael smiled and looked where she was looking. He grimaced and turned to her for confirmation.

" He's dead. The explosion launched him into a tree and his neck got snapped," Lily rasped. Michael pulled her into his hold. Lily cried and cried. Tears were weakness but Lily was feeling really weak right now. She pulled out his hold.

" There's blood on your chest," Lily sniffed. Michael nodded and seemed fazed. Lily's soul throbbed. Her eyes fluttered and she crouched down. Lily felt Michael pull her up and shake her.

" Come on Lils, we just survived that bad-crazy little shit. You can't die now," Michael muttered. Lily stared and her world swirled. Michael's face blended into the night sky.

" I did it for you. I lived for you," Lily whispered. She felt Michael reach down and grab her face he pulled her up to him and stared into her eyes.

" Lily Evans you weren't born to die now," Michael said. Lily opened her eyes when she heard the crack of apparition. Michael turned and shoved her behind her. Lily held her wand out and faced the newcomers.

A group of gold-robed aurors stood in front of them. They watched Lily and Michael with cautious eyes. One of them shouted and pointed his wand at her. Lily made eye contact with one and slumped against Michael.

" We're safe, the aurors are here," she announced. Michael dropped his wand and pulled her to his side. Together, under the moon's glare they collapsed. Lily and Michael's blood mixed as they lay on the hard ground.

Lily floated. She didn't know how long she was asleep. But she could feel everything around her. She felt the aurors lift her body and carry her away from Michael. She felt them poke and prod at her wounds. She felt her body fall on a soft surface. She felt her wounds heal, but they still throbbed with pain. She felt the healers leave and return after an unknown amount of time. She felt someone lean over her and place a kiss on her forehead.

Lily didn't hear anything. She didn't hear Auror Tonks yell for her aurors to drop their wands as she recognized Lily. She didn't hear Tonks bark for one of them to carry her and apparate to Mungos. She didn't hear the healers shouting and people's shocked exclamations. She didn't hear the healers work over her broken body with diligent and hurried precision. She didn't hear her friends pounding at the door to her room demanding to be let in. She didn't' hear someone enter in the dead of the night and cry over her body. She didn't hear them whisper her name over and over again. She felt them press their lips to her forehead. She woke up to utter silence and brightness.

Lily was in a hospital. She leaned up and groaned. Healers immediately swarmed around her and started barking orders again. She stared at them in confusion as they tested her and healed her wounds. On Sunday afternoon she was left alone in her room. Lily stared at the door in front of her.

She remembered Benjy's death and Michael's wounds. Michael! what happened to him? Lily waved at the healing spells kept on her body and slowly pushed herself into a sitting position.

She grabbed the table to her side and stood with shaky legs. Lily was wearing a white robe. She gingerly walked over to the mirror. Lily gasped at her reflection. Her left leg was wrapped in a heavy bandage. Her right arm had a sprinkle of fresh bruises on it. Her right leg was wrapped in gauze that was soaked in a bone-healing potion. A bandage that seemed to pulse wrapped her chest. Lily could see burns and cuts sprinkled across her body. She looked at her face and gulped. Her skin was so pale that she could see veins through it.

Lily's hair had been cropped to the tip of her collarbone. She remembered the fire burning her hair. It fell in thick curls and covered a large birthmark. Her face was a collage of bruises and her lip had been split open. Lily heard the door open and turned to it.

Professor Dumbledore stood in the doorway watching her with grim eyes. Lily watched him nervously and he closed the door behind him. He took a seat by her bed and faced her.

" The healers told me that you would be on bed rest," Dumbledore teased. Lily felt the fleeting need to blush, but her skin remained its translucent hue. She bit her lip and winced at the pain. Lily remembered Michael and opened her mouth.

" Professor where's Michael," Lily rasped. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with sympathy. He stood and faced the large window to her left.

" Mr. Wood was just declared stable about an hour ago," Dumbledore announced. Lily sighed with relief. She turned to the small table by her bed and her eyes widened at what was on it. A new copy of the Daily Profit sat on top of the gleaming wood.

_HOGWARTS STUDENTS MISSING_

_On Friday evening two unnamed students from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were reported missing. After a quick scope of the village, aurors found bloodstains near the formation known as the Shrieking Shack. During the course of Saturday and early Sunday morning a rescue team was sent out to recover the students. After reports of underage magic from Lancaster, the aurors set out there. The details of what happened seem to be unknown for now. All that is known is that around three in morning on Sunday, aurors brought the missing students to Mungos. They are alive and being treated. But what they underwent in currently being debated. A patient who was in the waiting room when the students were brought in says, " There was a girl and a boy. The boy had several horrible slices crossing his chest and back. There was one long deep cut on his face. The girl, well I doubt that she'll make it. She was so pale, looked like a bloody ghost. And her hair looked almost as if it was stained crimson with blood."_

_Several higher up Wizengamot members are questioning Dumbledore's safety procedures. Orion Black says, " If Dumbledore can't keep his own students safe in his backyard, then it looks like Hogwarts needs a new headmaster." News on what happened is limited due to the severity of what happened. By tomorrow there will be more news to come. (con't pg. 7.)_

Lily sucked in a breath as she finished reading. Dumbledore watched her with curious eyes.

" Miss Evans, I must leave soon. The healers are planning to release you before tomorrow at noon. You are exempted from Hogwarts if you wish. We'll send you your belongings so you can start your vacation earlier. Some of your friends are waiting outside," Dumbledore explained.

" No if they're releasing me I want to go to Hogwarts and finish up the year. When will Michael be released," Lily asked.

" Mr. Wood is awake, yet he is weak. The healers are saying that they'll release the two of you together," Dumbledore answered.

" Can I see him," Lily asked. Dumbledore looked at her with sympathy.

" Miss Evans he has requested for no visitors. He is actually in the room down the hall, but he doesn't care for the distance, he just needs to be alone," Dumbledore explained. Lily slumped and held her chest with her arms.

" Oh. It's fine I guess. Professor I'll be back in school for the last four days," Lily vowed. Dumbledore smiled, but it seemed forced.

" I believe the auror department is requesting for you and Mr. Wood to be escorted to them directly after your release," Dumbledore said. Lily nodded; they couldn't hold in what happened to them anymore.

" The body of Benedict Auclair was found near you. The aurors found the dark mark on his arm. But there is nothing they can do. He is dead Miss Evans," Dumbledore said. Lily's heart ached and she blinked a tear away.

" I know he is," Lily mumbled. She pressed her body in on itself trying to hold her broken pieces together.

" Remember that it's our losses that define us. I must leave now, the Minister wants to meet in his office," Dumbledore finished. Lily watched him regard her sadly and then leave. She pulled herself onto her bed when the door opened again. Lily's room was filled with her Gryffindor friends. Marlene approached her.

" Lils," Marlene said. Lily felt a pressure on her bed and felt someone wrap her in a tight hug. She let out a sob and curled up against Marlene's shoulder. She cried for everything that she lost. Lily cried for her parents. She cried for her dead childhood. She cried for the Auclairs. But most importantly Lily cried for herself. She had lost something in that dungeon. Lily lost a piece of who she was.

Marlene held her and her friends watched her with sorrow in their eyes. Lily rubbed her eyes and took a tissue from Gideon's hand. She mumbled a thank you and looked up.

" Lily what happened," Adam asked quietly. No one spoke. Lily couldn't tell them the truth, so she warped it a bit. Lily told them that a death eater had kidnapped her and Michael from Hogsmeade and tortured them. She watched Frank clench his hands when she told them about how Michael's scars were sliced open. She told them that they managed to escape by pulling on their rusted chains and running out of the burning dungeons. She told them that she still didn't known that kidnapped her or where they were. When she finished Lily could felt a tear escape Marlene's eye and fall onto her shoulder.

" Michael isn't letting anyone in his room," Emmeline added. Lily felt a sharp stab of pain when she said this. She didn't know why Michael refused to seek comfort in their friends.

" He went through a lot," Lily mumbled. The others nodded and Benjy Fenwick looked at the door.

" The school barely let us leave. They didn't want to tempt the death eaters again," Benjy muttered. Lily felt a pang of thankfulness that they even came. Alice turned to her and pursed her lips.

" What happened to you leg," she asked. Lily flinched as she looked down at her bandaged limb.

" There was fire. Michael's worse than me. His entire torso was covered in blood from his wounds," Lily mused. She didn't see Fabian flinch at this comment. The Gryffindors stayed with Lily for another two hours. They spoke in soft whispers and listened to each other. Around seven, a nurse came and told the Gryffindors that visiting hours were over. They stood and wrapped Lily in a hug.

Lily tried to hold onto the feeling of their embraces. Marlene's felt soothing and comforting. Benjy's was tight and filled with a heavy burden. Alice's hug was filled with a pressing urge for her to live. Emmeline's was gentle; it felt like a brush of wind. Fabian and Gideon simultaneously enveloped her to the point where she couldn't breathe. Frank's was stiff but filled with thankfulness. Adam's hug was like his smile. It was strong like an anchor.

" We're staying in my parents' house and going back to Hogwarts with you and Michael," Alice announced. Lily nodded as her friends left her room. She heard the click of the door and curled up into a ball. When they were with her, she could feel them each taking some of the weight off of her shoulders. Now she was forced to carry it alone.

Lily felt a pang of sorrow embrace her. She waited for her brothers to come but they never did. She didn't know why this hurt her so much. She was used to their abandonment of her. Usually she didn't feel anything, but on that Sunday evening there was a bigger meaning to what they did. Lily knew in her heart that there was nothing she could ever do to go back to her family. They may have needed her at some point, but they cast her aside when they didn't.

Lily pressed her face into her palms. She knew that on that June night, everything had changed. Her brothers no longer cared for her, they didn't bother to visit her. She knew it was selfish to think about that but she couldn't control her emotions. Lily pushed her feelings of sorrow away and waited.

She checked the clock at around ten in the night. Lily slowly made her way to her door and opened it. The hallway was empty. Lily closed the door behind her and trudged over to the room in front of hers. Lily held her chest as she slowly opened the door. Lily closed it behind her and heard an intake of breath. She turned and paled at Michael's appearance.

He was pale, too pale. His skin was usually a light tan, but now it was a chalky white. He was shirtless and his entire torso had been wrapped in a large bandage. Lily could see burns and bruises peppering his arms. She didn't want to know what his legs were like. But it was his face that unsettled Lily the most.

His eyes were filled with pain and agony, which Lily could see from a distance. Lily's eyes immediately traveled to the long freshly healed scar on the side of his face. It ran from his hairline down to the tip of his jaw. The healers had been able to heal most of it, but couldn't remove the scar.

Michael watched her self-consciously. Lily slowly made her way over to him. Her leg protested but Lily didn't care. She perched her body near the edge of his bed and looked at Michael.

" Michael," Lily whispered. He looked up from his hands to her face. Lily watched him gulp.

" Lily do you think birds will go for the scar," he said gruffly. Lily pulled him into hug and laughed.

" Scars are sexy," Lily mused. Michael laughed and Lily joined him. They sat on his bed laughing for an indefinite amount of time. Lily ignored the pain in her chest and her lungs protesting.

" Lils stop laughing you're killing my chest," Michael grumbled through his laughs. Lily nodded and tried to compose herself. After a few minutes she sat with him in utter silence.

Lily raised a finger and traced the puckered scar on his face. He winced and she pulled her finger back. Michael stared at her freshly healed lip and moved his hand to the back of her head. He tapped the place where a large cut once was.

" They managed to prevent this from scarring," he mumbled. Lily nodded and looked at the tips of her hair.

" I lost at least a foot of hair from the fire, I'm scarred," Lily said with a small smile. Michael nodded and ran a hand through his own hair. It was getting longer than a typical crew cut. Lily could make out some long shaggy locks from her position.

Michael yawned at the same time as Lily and both of them blushed. Lily smiled at the rosy red of his cheeks.

" I guess I should leave now," Lily murmured. Michael shook his head and pulled her close to him.

" No stay, I'm too scared to sleep," Michael begged. Lily could feel the similar dread she felt radiating off of him. She was afraid to sleep; Lily didn't want to see her nightmares.

Lily mumbled a slur and let Michael pulled her under his covers. Their limbs didn't tangle together. Their hearts didn't beat together. Lily leaned her head near Michael's collar. She felt him wince when her cheek grazed one of his bandages. Lily moved her head up and tucked it under his chin.

She could feel his jugular pounding with blood. Lily fell asleep to the sound of Michael's heart beating steadily.

She didn't know that a certain hazel-eyed boy had snuck out of Hogwarts to see her. She didn't know that he enter her room at midnight, only to find it empty. She didn't know that he accidentally opened the door to Michael Wood's room and that his heart broke as he watched the girl he loved sleep in another man's arms.

" Dear Merlin! Miss Evans what are you doing in here," a nurse screeched. Lily groaned and opened her eyes. She was right. Her sleep had been filled with horrible nightmares. Michael opened his eyes and gaped at the nurse in front of them.

The rest seemed to blend into a mesh of memories. Lily remembered being carted out of Michael's room and being shoved into hers. A healer stopped by and accessed her injuries. Lily was glad to know that all of her wounds and broken bones had healed in rapid time thanks to magic. The healers had also managed to remove that awful scar from Black's slicing spell.

Lily looked at her body in the mirror. It was blemish free once again. Only a day ago she was a quilt of bruises, cuts, and bandages. Now her body was a clean sheet. She felt like the scars she had were there for a reason. They were a reminder to everything she went through, and now they were gone.

Even though Lily's body has been given a fresh start, she hadn't. Lily slid into a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. She pulled her freshly cleaned hair into a ponytail and braided it.

Lily's bracelet had not been removed. As she tied her sneakers, it dangled from her wrist. Lily sat up and exited the bathroom. She saw that her room had been cleaned. All traces that she had ever been in it were gone, except for her wand. Lily smiled as she picked her wand off the table near her bed and exited the room.

Her body ached a bit as she closed the door behind her. Lily was reminded of her healer's words, magic could only do so much. Lily jumped, as a figure seemed to mold out of the shadows of the hallway.

" Miss Evans," Bishop Shacklebolt greeted. Lily stared at him in shock; why wasn't he at Hogwarts. Bishop indicated for her to follow him and she did. As they walked through the hallway people stared at them. Lily groaned, her red hair must have given her away.

Bishop led her to the first floor where he quickly checked her out of Mungos. Lily followed him to a floo station. He told her to floo to the Ministry and that he would be right behind her.

Lily felt ashes and flames surround her. Her heart rate quickened and she felt panic descend onto her. Memories of the night two days ago came back. Lily choked and fell on the floo of the Ministry of Magic. She could feel the flames tickling her feet and the smoke suffocating her. Tremors raced up Lily's back. Someone grabbed her and slapped her across the face.

Lily's panic attack ended as she looked into Bishop Shacklebolt's worried eyes. He released her and barked an order to those watching the scene to get back to work.

" Thanks," Lily gasped. Bishop watched her with concern and led her to the elevators. She followed him into one and they traveled to the auror office in silence. Lily followed him to the auror office and twirled her wand in her hands. She was Lily Evans, and Lily Evans did not get a panic attack from traveling on the floo network.

" Miss Evans we're here," Bishop announced. Lily looked up and followed him inside of a door. She could see cubicles and doors stretched out across the room.

Shelves filled with books on defensive and offensive spells covered the walls. People ran in and out of rooms. Men and Women sat at the cubicles diligently working over stacks of parchment. Lily could see that there was some type of chaos in here, but it was the good kind. She wanted to be apart of this chaos that was the British Auror Office.

Bishop led her over to a door in the front of the room. Lily dodged several wizards and witches as she followed him. She exclaimed apologies when she stepped on a few feet. Bishop paused in front of the room and turned to Lily.

" They're going to interrogate you. Don't try lying, aurors usually have a feel for when people lie," Bishop ordered. Lily nodded and gulped. Bishop kept a reassuring hand on her shoulder and opened the door.

He pushed Lily inside and closed the door behind her. Lily looked directly in front of her and met the brown eyes of Alastor Moody. She gulped and her eyes traced his figure. He was missing one leg, which was replaced with a wooden stump. He noticed Lily and grinned at her.

" Miss Evans please sit," he ordered. Lily looked to the seats across from his desk and saw that Michael was already sitting there. His shirt was tight against his heavy bandages. He wore a cast and there was a fresh bandage on his face.

Michael looked at her with an unattached face. Lily gulped and moved towards the seat next to his. She sank on the hard plastic and faced Moody. He paced behind his desk and suddenly turned to her and Michael.

" Miss Evans and Michael you both were reported missing on the evening of the past Friday. At around two in the morning on Sunday, aurors were reported to Lancaster due to a large amount of underage magic. In the ruins of the pureblood family estate of the deceased Auclair family our aurors found you two and the body of Benedict Darcy Auclair, the last Auclair. He had the dark mark. They brought you into Mungos before three and Benedict Auclair was declare dead soon after. That is all the information we have on what happened. You two will provide the rest," Auror Moody barked.

Lily felt his eyes staring her dead in the eye. She gulped and turned to Michael.

" Well we were in Hogsmeade for a trip. Our friends were on dates so we headed up to the outskirts of the village," Lily started. Moody eyed Michael and began to speak.

" Were the two of you on a date," Moody asked. Michael began to cough and Lily turned a beat red. Michael glared at Moody with anger.

" Is that really necessary to the case," Michael asked. Moody grinned and menacingly held his wand.

" I think it is," Moody answered. Michael glared at him as he answered.

" No we weren't," Michael said with a cold stare. Moody barked with laughter.

" I though you were good with the ladies, at least that's what your mum said," Moody teased. Michael hissed and took his wand out.

" Don't speak about her," Michael snarled. Lily stared at him and Moody in confusion. Michael leaned up and pointed his wand at Moody. Auror Moody watched him with a bored stare.

" I've been putting you on the ground since you were seven," Moody sneered. He flicked his wand and Michael was shoved back into his seat. The two men glared at each other with hatred. Lily cleared her throat and they faced her.

" Michael do you know him," Lily asked. Michael tensed and Moody snickered. Lily kept a hand on Michael's shoulder as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

" He's family," Michael sighed. Moody started to laugh and looked at Michael with a twisted expression.

" We're half brothers. His mum cheated on his dad years before he was born with some pureblood at a ball. I was born and raised with my dad's family the Moody family. Then little ickle Michael here was born and forced into sibling bonding with his brother who was fifteen years older than him. I'm his legal guardian now that his folks are dead," Moody explained. Lily saw Michael tense and squeezed his shoulder.

" Isn't it a little immature to let a petty sibling rivalry get in the way of this meeting," Lily sneered at Moody. Moody raised his eyebrows at Lily.

" Don't be a hypocrite Evans, or should I say Gastor," Moody jeered. Lily leaned up from her seat and glared at him.

" How do you know who I am," Lily asked with narrowed eyes. Moody shrugged and grinned.

" I'm the head of the auror department I've got sources everywhere. Don't worry Miss Evans I fully support what you're doing, it's so spunky," Moody addressed. Lily blushed and Michael cleared his throat.

" Lily and I were ambushed by that Auclair bloke and some of his death eater pals by the Shrieking Shack. I woke up tied up in some dungeon room. They tortured me for a few hours. Then Auclair left and his friends ripped my old scars open. They dragged me into another room and Lily was chained to the wall. Auclair was talking to her. Then he turned to me and Lily managed to get free since her chains were rusting," Michael said.

Lily breathed a sigh of relief when he left the part about her magic out. Even if Auror Moody had connections everywhere, there was no way he could know about her magic, not even her brothers knew about that.

" Then she grabbed Auclair's wand from his back pocket and hit him with a stunning spell. The bloke went flying into a wall. She freed me, and accidently hit this candle that started a fire. Lily levitated Auclair out of the room as we escape the fire. We barely made it out of the dungeon alive. Right as we got to the top there was this bloody explosion and I flew into a collapsed wall. I couldn't see Lily or Auclair so I stumbled through the area trying to find them. Lily flew into a tree and Auclair's neck snapped when he hit a huge pine. Then the aurors showed up," Michael finished.

Lily shivered at his retelling of the story. She was thankful for the quick lies he said. Moody stared at the two of them with an unreadable expression. Lily stared back at him and looked at his features. He and Michael had the same tawny brown eyes and rich sun-kissed tan. Their eyelashes were long and their fingers had the same long elegance.

" Is there anything you would like to add Miss Evans," Moody asked. Lily gulped and felt Michael look at her.

" We don't know what happened to those death eaters in the dungeon," Lily said. Moody nodded and turned from her.

" They're dead. Some of the aurors found the remains of their bodies," Moody stated. Lily swallowed the bile creeping up her throat and nodded. Moody watched her and Michael. His eyes traced their expressions and he pursed his lips. Lily was reminded of Professor McGonagall from his expression.

"Do you know why he wanted you two," Moody asked. Lily did and she bit her lip. Michael answered before she could.

" He wanted Lily. He had some crazed obsession with her," Michael tersely responded. Moody's eyes spun to Lily who blushed.

" We grew up together, I never knew that he had any feelings for me," she clarified. Moody nodded and took a seat.

" Well this entire story is a load of trouble. The school board is in chaos, they're planning on sacking Dumbledore," Moody grumbled. Lily snorted at this.

" They can't honestly consider that this was Dumbledore's fault. It was the headboy who wanted this Hogsmeade trip to happen," Lily scoffed. Realization hit her. The headboy wanted this, Lucian her brother knew what was going to happen to her. He let Benedict Auclair torture her and Michael. Lily sat up in her seat and clenched her fists with rage.

" Lily are you alright," Michael asked. Lily gritted her teeth and nodded. She turned to Moody and opened her mouth.

" I need to tell you something. There's an underground death eater movement at Hogwarts. The head boy Lucian Gastor is the leader," Lily said. Moody dropped the glass cup he was holding and faced her.

" That's a heavy accusation Miss Evans," Moody said. Lily sat up and stared into his eyes with a defiant stare.

" A few months ago Kingsley Shacklebolt and I were on patrol. We accidently infiltrated one of the meetings. At least three-fourths of the male Slytherins above third year were present at that meeting," Lily explained.

" Did you or Mr. Shacklebolt tell anyone of this," Moody pressed. Lily frowned and thought about it.

" I'm sure that Kingsley spoke to Professor Dumbledore about it," Lily said. Kingsley hadn't spoken to her after that day about what happened. It was as though it never happened.

Suddenly a large tremor ran through the room. Lily saw the desk and walls vibrate and turned to Michael.

" Is that an earthquake," she asked. Michael shrugged. Auror Moody stood and the door to the room opened. Auror Tonks stood in the doorway and her eyes kept darting out of it.

" Tonks what's going on," Moody roared. Tonks glanced behind her and turned to them with a worried gaze.

" Moody death eaters have infiltrated the Ministry. They're massacring anyone they can find," Tonks shouted. Moody cursed and grabbed his wand. He glanced at Lily and Michael and spoke.

" You two stay in here. The battlefield is no place for teenagers," Moody ordered. Michael stood and protested.

" We can help. We just took on a death eater," Michael argued. Moody snorted and grabbed some bottle out of his desk.

" Look at yourselves now. You're covered in wounds," Moody barked. He shut the door behind him. Lily raced to it and pulled the doorknob.

" Dammit it's locked," she shouted. Michael growled and pounded on the door. Lily walked to the back of the room and faced Michael. She remembered that meeting; she remembered what Potter said. She remembered her friends talking about Bagnold getting impeached.

" Shit holy shit," Lily whispered. She knew why the death eaters were attacking. Lily grabbed Michael's shoulders.

" They're trying to make Dumbledore and Bagnold look bad to the public. Think about it. Bagnold is in the Ministry right now and who knows how many people have already been killed. Dumbledore let two students get kidnapped on his watch," Lily exclaimed. Michael cursed and took his wand out.

" We've got to help with the fight. Maybe we can get some people to evacuate the floors that the death eaters haven't reached yet," Michael suggested. Lily nodded and took her wand out.

" Reducto," they shouted at the same time. Lily watched her spell hit the door at the same time as Michael's. It exploded into thousands of small splinters.

Lily felt a sharp pain in her arm. She grimaced and pulled the splinter from her arm. Michael grabbed her and pulled her through the broken doorway. Lily stood next to him in the silent auror office. All of the chaos that she admired only an hour ago disappeared. The room was silent. Lily and Michael made their way out of the office.

" Don't fight, just defend," Lily ordered to Michael. He nodded and they quietly walked through the floor. But it was silent. They checked rooms and discovered that they were empty.

" Maybe everybody got out," Lily suggested. Michael nodded but they made their way over to the elevators. Suddenly Michael grabbed Lily and pulled her behind a large pillar. Two death eaters walked past them in conversation.

" But everybody on this floor was already rounded up and sent to the Antechamber," one whined. The other snorted.

" Some people could have hid, and we've got to find them," he answered. Lily watched them walk to the auror office with wide eyes. When they disappeared Michael let go of her and stepped towards the elevator.

" We need to see what's going on in the Antechamber," Lily pressed. He nodded as an elevator opened. Lily entered it and he followed. They held their wands at the door and crossed their fingers hoping that the elevator wouldn't stop.

Lily breathed a sigh of relief when the elevator stopped on the first floor. She went out first and could see masked figures walking by in a patrol. She grabbed Michael and they ducked behind a large pillar. Lily clenched her hands around his shirt as the death eaters walked closer to them.

Michael grabbed her and they slowly made their way over to the center of the Antechamber. Lily sucked in a breath when her chest contracted with pain. She looked over the railing at they were near and paled.

Groups of wizards and witches were pressed into large crowds. Death eaters surrounded them and tortured some. Lily covered her ears to keep their screams out. She couldn't see a single auror anywhere.

" Floo stations are down, there's no escape," Michael said in her ear pointing at the floo fireplaces. Lily nodded and grabbed her wand from her waist of her pants.

" We can't help anybody. I don't understand why they won't fight back. It's almost like the death eaters have them under a spell," Lily mumbled.

" Merlin look at that man by the edge of the crowd. His eyes they're so glassy. How'd the death eaters get over 300 ministry employees under the Imperius Curse," Michael muttered. Lily looked at some of the people and noted their zombie-like state.

" Blimey you're right! What are we going to do," Lily muttered. She heard footsteps from behind them and grabbed Michael's hand. She looked at his face in fear. His bandage had fallen off, revealing the fresh scar.

Michael pushed her behind him and held his wand out. They waited for the people to find them. Lily's face twisted in confusion when she saw one of them.

" Adam," Lily said incredulously. A black-haired boy turned and stared at Lily and Michael. He grabbed Lily and shoved her against a wall. Lily felt Adam's wand dig into her throat.

" What did I tell you about Emmeline," Adam ordered. Lily stared into her eyes with incredulity.

"You said you wanted to get her out of England and away from the war," Lily answered. Adam sighed with relief and embraced her. He turned to Michael and shoved his wand at him.

" Who was your first kiss," Adam barked. Michael blushed and looked down.

" Are you sure this is really necessary. OW! Okay fine it was Amelia Bones at Natasha Goyle's entrance ball," Michael whimpered. Adam relaxed and enveloped him in a hug.

" Thank Merlin I found you! We though that the death eaters got you like the rest of the auror department," Adam sighed. He grabbed Lily and Michael and led them to a broom closet. He looked around and quickly shoved them inside.

The broom closet wasn't broom closet. It was a weapons room. Lily could see dangerous poisons lining shelves. Muggle swords and knives lay on tables. Wands were piled high.

Lily met the eyes of at least sixty wizards and witches. She could see Moody standing in the front of them room. He frowned at them.

" I told you to stay in the office," he grumbled. Lily faced him and frowned.

" Death eaters came, we got out," Lily explained. He waved her off and turned to the crowd of witches and wizards gathered around him. Adam pulled them into the crowd and Lily saw her friends gathered at a table.

" Where are we," Lily asked.

" It's a secret room aurors have for anything like this. It has a Fidelius charm on it. Only members can get inside," Adam explained. Lily stared at him in confusion and faced her friends.

" Marlene? What are you guys doing here," Lily asked. Marlene was putting magical warded padding on. She looked up and smiled at Lily.

" We're here to fight," Marlene said with a strong face. Lily stared at her in confusion. Suddenly the crowd parted. Lily gaped at the person who merged from the crowd.

" Professor Dumbledore," Lily gasped. The tall man turned to her with a smile. Her walked to her table and faced the group.

" Miss Evans, I was hoping you'd show up," he announced. Lily's face tore up in confusion.

" I'm confused what's going on? Who are these people," Lily asked. Michael echoed her. She saw the seventh year Gryffindors join her friends. Dumbledore wore a twinkling smile.

" Miss Evans, Mr. Wood this is the Order of the Phoenix. A good friend of mine, Alastor Moody, informed me of Ministry corruption a few years ago. The Order was formed several years ago to fight Voldemort. I inducted Mr. McKinnon and Mr. Longbottom last December during the attack on Hogsmeade. I usually prefer to wait until students are of age to join, but your friends pressed the request to join. Yesterday after they left your room, we had their induction to the Order," Dumbledore explained.

" you guys knew this whole time," Fabian exclaimed to a sheepish Adam and Frank.

" Dumbledore requested for us not to tell you guys. He wanted to wait for all of the 6th years to be of age to induct the rest of you. Frank and I found out shortly after our seventeenth birthdays and he let us in," Adam clarified.

The other Gryffindors looked like they had questions but Dumbledore cleared his throat.

" Miss Evans and Mr. Wood the Order of the Phoenix is a group dedicated to the eradication of any prejudice towards muggles or the obsession with blood status. Will you two join our ranks," Dumbledore asked. Lily grinned.

" I would be honored," Lily said. She turned to Michael who smirked.

" Well someone has to keep Lily from getting herself killed. I'm in," Michael announced. Lily shoved him and he ruffled her hair with a grin. Their friends watched them curiously.

Something had changed between Michael and Lily while they were kidnapped. They had a closer bond now. Yet Lily didn't feel anything for him, she thought that he was probably her closest friend. He knew more about her than anyone currently alive.

Suddenly Dumbledore turned and face the room. The entire room became silent as the residents stared at Dumbledore." I would like to welcome Lily Evans and Michael Wood to the ranks of the Order of the Phoenix," Dumbledore announced. A short wizard snorted from across the room.

" You've got to be kidding! You're letting four underage students and six students into a war. Look at those two they're in bandages," the man sneered. Dumbledore's face frowned. Before he could say anything someone lese did.

" Oi Fletcher! The redhead with the bandages took at least twenty death eaters on without showing any fear. That sure is a difference from you running away from bloody Crabbe," Andromeda Tonks snorted. Lily blushed and felt some of the people in the room look at her curiously.

" Enough! These students may be young, but they're ready. I've had eight of the seventh year Gryffindors train them for battle for the past four months," Dumbledore explained. Lily glanced at Kingsley who smiled at her.

She noticed Marlene wink at Emma Vanity. Alice and Emmeline smiled at Dirk Creswell and Hestia Jones. Benjy shoved Dedalus Diggle as a greeting. Gideon and Fabian stood with one-seventh year boy. Frank and Adam looked at one of the seventh years and looked back to Dumbledore.

Lily realized that she wasn't the only one of her friends getting assistance from a seventh year. She glanced at Kingsley who smiled at her. Michael nodded at a taller boy Lily identified as Nickolas Finnegan. Dumbledore's voice interrupted her musings.

" Today death eaters infiltrated the Ministry. According to some people who volunteered to scout outside of this room, they seemed to have rounded up all of the Ministry employees and kept a widespread imperius curse on them.

Alastor has told me that they are using truth potion to find out who has any muggle relations and they are killing them. He's told me that most of the aurors were apprehended. It's up to us to defend and protect," Dumbledore told the group.

Marlene helped Lily put some defensive spells on her body as they listened to Dumbledore.

" Here's the plan. According to Mr. McKinnon every ten minutes there is a patrol around the outer hallway of about five death eaters. We will attack before that occurs. Ever person in here has a dueling partner that was previously assigned," Dumbledore announced.

Lily wrinkled her nose and was about to protest, but then Kingsley moved next to her. It made sense for her to duel with him; he had trained her.

" Don't split from your partner. If they are to fall in battle immediately apparate out. Auror Tonks has volunteered to lead a team of wizards to take down the anti-appariation wards. She says that she can have them down in maximum time of ten minutes. During which, Auror Moody will be leading the attack against the death eaters. The Imperius Charm cast on the employees must be redone every ten minutes; we will distract the death eaters during this time. From there, groups led by Bishop Shacklebolt will get people to evacuate the Ministry," Dumbledore explained.

Lily found his plan to be the best idea to deal with this attack. Lily heard the crowd buzz with anticipation. Kingsley turned to her.

" Come on Evans we're in attack group," Kingsley ordered. Most of Lily's friends were in the evacuation team with the exception of herself, Gideon, and Fabian. Gideon and Fabian were apart of the ward shut down team.

" Lils be careful, you're a good dueler but even you can't take on a hundred death eaters," Marlene ordered. Lily hugged her and laughed.

" I'll be careful Marlee," Lily assured her. Kingsley bid his friends goodbye as she did with hers. Lily hugged her friends and memorized their faces. She remembered the set expressions on Adam and Frank's faces. She remembered the determination behind Benjy's eye. She remembered the fierce stare of Alice and Emmeline's expressions. She remembered Gideon's taut expression and Fabian's resolute grin. She remembered Marlene's prepared stare. Lily remembered Michael's grin of utter chaos.

" Be careful cause I'm not kissing you today," Lily murmured as Michael hugged her.

" Same to you," Michael said. His lips brushed the top of her head and he let go of her as Dumbledore told everybody to get ready. Lily joined Kingsley and a group of twenty witches and wizards. Most of them were aurors. She and Kingsley appeared to be the only ones who weren't actually.

" Let's head out," Bishop ordered. They left the room in groups of four. Lily and Kinsley walked with a grim auror who told them to call him Doc and his partner Sam Dearborn. They were the last group to leave the room. Lily met Michael's eyes with a determined face as she left the room.

Kingsley and her walked in the middle of the group. They edged towards the shadow-covered back of the room and joined their comrades. Bishop checked his watch and glanced at the death eaters only a few feet from them.

" Listen up. We're here to distract the death eaters for twenty minutes. Tonks will lead her team out of the room in ten minutes and take down the wards before twenty minutes are up. The minute twenty minutes pass, we apparate out with the hostages. Lily you're going side-along with either Kingsley or me," Bishop ordered. Lily nodded and grabbed her wand.

The group faced the death eaters as the seconds ticked by. Most of them knew that they could die that very die. Twenty minutes may seem like a short amount of time, but to them it could be the finale to a lifetime of memories.

Kingsley squeezed Lily's hand ever ten seconds. She knew that there was a possibility that she would die today. But Lily was ready. There were so many questions she had to answers, but she was willing to leave this world protecting the future.

Lily looked at the people around her. Their ages ranged from a few years older than her to decades of hard experience as an auror. She could see that they had a lot more to loose that her. As the last seconds ticked by Lily thought about the things she was fighting for. She was fighting for the future.

She was fighting so that one-day Adam and Emmeline could travel the world. She was fighting so that Alice and Frank could live to see their child go to Hogwarts. She was fighting so that Marlene could marry Fabian one day. She was fighting so Gideon could have the time to move on from Dorcas Meadows' death. She was fighting so Benjy could become a healer and not face prejudice. She was fighting so that Michael could have a Quidditch team of children. Lily saw a flash of hazel and blinked.

" Now," Bishop ordered. Some of the aurors slinked out of the shadows and quietly attacked death eaters. Others let out a battle cry and slaughtered the enemy. Lily did neither. Instead she broke the one rule she was given; to stay with her partner.

But it was okay. She and Kingsley had decided to split up back in the weapons room. Lily would only hold Kingsley back; she had a different mission. Lily squeezed Kingsley hand and let go it. She sprinted into the heart of the death eater swarm and did something very irresponsible.

Lily let her magic take control again. It roared with vicious joy. Lily hadn't given it full control in over six years. Now, it was given freedom twice in less than a week. Lily watched as it slashed and lashed out at death eaters. She watched it use her wand like a sword master and create a wall of its signature fire.

She felt it pour into every single one of her cells. She felt it roar with power, and she let it. Lily heard the screams and shouts of its victims and she reveled in it. That was why Lily hated her magic. She gained its bloodthirsty lust for power and destruction when she set it free. Lily felt a spell come at her. She pitied the caster.

Her magic growled as the spell bounced off its shield. It laughed and carelessly swiped at the castor. Lily saw it stare down a boy with gold eyes. It decided that this boy was the enemy.

" No," Lily screamed. She quickly shoved her magic away from control. It screamed as Lily grabbed the control and quickly built a prison for it. She gasped as it fought her.

" Damnit," Lily growled. Her body was flung down to the floor. She felt her head crack on the solid marble. Lily built a stable and tight prison for her magic. She checked her watch; she still had ten minutes. Lily stood with a vengeance.

She took out at least four death eaters. She looked around her and made eye contact with Kingsley. He looked at something near her with horror. Lily grabbed her wand and shot a spell behind her. She heard a thud and didn't look.

Lily heard a scream and looked towards it. Her heart faltered as she saw the form of Voldemort enter the room. She had never seen him before. But the evil and malevolence radiating form him was enough.

Lily ducked and a spell hit the wall behind her. She counted the Order members and cursed under her breath. They lost at least five people. She could feel the seconds ticking away. More and more order members fell. Lily shot stunners and disarming spells like bolts of lightening.

She felt heat lick her back. Dammit, Lily forgot about the fire. It surged across half of the room and engulfed all near it. Lily knew that if Tonks hadn't succeeded then they would lose within seconds.

She faced a dirty sneering death eater and dueled him. He got a curse at her and Lily fell to the ground. She screamed and her back arched. It was the cruciatus. Lily felt knives stab into her and screamed. The pain was overwhelming her. Lily closed her eyes and tried to escape it. She clawed at the ground near her and let out a scream of pure agony.

Lily opened her eyes and saw a flash of hazel. She screamed as a sword seemed to spilt her in half. Suddenly the pain ended and Lily looked up. James Potter was in front of her.

He stood looking down at her with an agonized look. Lily felt him pull her up and slumped in his hold. No one seemed to notice them in the chaos of the battle. Lily looked up at him and noticed something. She froze and pulled herself out of his hold.

" Lily," James said warningly. Lily ignored him and pointed her wand at him. She could feel blood dripping down from a cut on her head. Lily's hand trembled as she stared at James. He wore the shapeless black robes of the death eaters around them. She could see his dark mark peaking out from his sleeve.

" Why did you help me? Wanted to be the one that killed me Potter," Lily sneered. James stared at her in shock. Lily ignored him and walked away.

" I'm letting you go since you saved me. I don't want a blood-tie to a death eater," Lily said. She ran away from Potter. The Ministry employees began to loose the effect of the imperius curse. She could see some of them looking around the room in horror. Lily heard a shout and looked up. She sighed with relief; the evacuation team had come through.

She watched them enter the battlefield with a cry. Lily saw Marlene grab three witches from the mass of Ministry employees and order them to apparate. She could hear the distinct popping of appariation. Her friends and the order entered the battle. They were winning!

Lily dodged a spell and shot another in its direction. Most of the death eaters had discarded their masks. She could see her brothers and Black through the crowd. They fought against the Order with vicious hatred. Lily saw a flash of familiar black hair.

Lily paused and forgot about the battle. She focused on James Potter as the battle around them blended into a faded memory. There was something beautiful in a chaotic way about James Potter.

_The Web of Lies_

James Potter's day had started with a crappy visit to St. Mungos. It was twelve in the morning, according to the large clock situated on the wall of the floor he was on. James had come here only 25 hours ago; he snuck into Lily's room and planted a kiss on her forehead before quickly leaving.

Lily Evans, she was the biggest mystery of James Potter's life. She came into his life only six months ago, but he couldn't go a single minute without thinking about her. She entered his life with a bang. James could remember when he first saw her.

_Flashback_

James rolled his eyes as he caught sight of Marlene McKinnon. She had a good body with ebony hair similar to his and electric blue eyes, but James wouldn't dare touching a hair on her body. She was destined to end up with his best mate. Besides McKinnon was a right bitch.

Sirius Black was the playboy chaotic sex machine of Hogwarts. A look into his eyes could make a girl jump on him and shag him. He was suave and charismatic to such a extent that sometimes James felt nauseated. Sirius was his best mate though. Sirius had known James since they were six, and they'd been closer than brothers ever since. Sirius was usually devilishly calm and collected, but around Marlene McKinnon he lost control of his emotions.

James watched Sirius flounder after McKinnon with a perturbed stare. He looked behind him and saw Remus Lupin reading a book. Typical Moony, he'd prefer a book to a girl. James was certain that if Remus weren't cursed then he would be just like the other Marauders. He never pitied Remus though. James hated the idea and concept of pity.

He looked to Remus's right and caught sight of a flash of gold. He felt a surge of empathy go through his heart while he watched Jason. Jason Gastor was staring at something on front of James. His entire conveyance was slumped and tired. James blamed this on the death of Jason's parents. Jason came from a large family, one that James was a tad envious of.

The Gastors were very different from his own family. He was an only child and his parents were older than most of his friends' parents. Jason's parents were younger than most people's parents, accounting for the fact that they had five children.

James furrowed his eyebrows and looked to where Jason's gold eyes were pointed. He sucked in a breath as he looked at the girl in front of her. His world seemed to shatter before his very eyes. Gravity, the urge to breathe, living all faded. James was reminded of the only other girl who'd forced this kind of nerve-racking reaction onto him, the girl at the masquerade.

After the girl at the ball disappeared, reality fell back on James. He left the ball soon after and returned to Mungos where he remained until Hogwarts started. James felt bile inch up his throat as he thought about his parents. Their time was coming to an end, and there was nothing he could do to help them.

Dragon Pox was slowly killing them. James shuddered and pushed those feelings away. He was good at that. James could have been the master of boxing up emotions and things he didn't want to deal with.

James examined the girl in front of him. She stood in between McKinnon and Emmeline Vance. Vance was a tall willowy girl that James would have normally appreciated. She had startling honey eyes and corkscrew blonde curls that reached her shoulders. James would have slept with her by now if it weren't for that ponce Adam McKinnon. Well, Vance was arranged to marry him so there was nothing he could do without bringing the wrath of pureblood society on him.

James, Remus, and Jason were some of the only purebloods not stuck in a betrothal. James knew that at one point his parents had one set up for him, but they dropped it like a rock soon after his tenth birthday. James preferred the bachelor life anyways. He could get any girl with a flash of his hazel eyes. James was in other words a lady's man.

But James Potter wasn't thinking of what it would be like to shag the girl in between Vance and McKinnon, no he felt the uncontrollable urge to hold her. She seemed so familiar, yet she was a complete stranger. Her hair was long and curled down her back. It reached the tips of her shoulder blades. She wore the school uniform in a tempting way that made James feel lust crawl up his back. Her lips were a pouty cherry pink. James could see her skin was a creamy white with no blemishes. Her eyes flashed up to his and he let go of everything. They were a soul-moving emerald-green. He could feel her appraising him curiously. James smirked at her and she sniffed. She looked away.

Outrage and shock enter James. Who was this girl? A loud ringing noise interrupted his thoughts. He saw Sirius on the ground with an indignant expression. James rolled his eyes and watched the girls step over him. The mystery girl tripped on Sirius's form and braced herself to fall. James quickly slipped in and grabbed her. Sparks ignited on his skin where this girl touched him. He pulled her up and she opened her eyes.

James gaped at her. Up close her face was even better. Her eyes looked like galaxies. Her skin was so smooth it seemed surreal. James heard a shrill screech and suddenly the girl was out of his arms. Thanks Vance, he thought sarcastically.

James made his way outside and saw that Sirius had followed McKinnon into a carriage. He made a move towards it, but it closed and started up the path. James sighed with vexation and made his way to the last carriage.

He saw the Threstals and smiled at one. James had always seen the Threstals, ever since first year. He knew why. James shuddered and blocked that horrible memory out. The mystery girl made a commotion and James explained to her what the Threstals were. Her eyes darkened at his explanation and she entered the carriage. James followed her.

James Potter decided that this mystery girl was different from other girls; she had something to her. She moved like freedom.

_Flashback ends_

Later, he found out that his mystery girl was called Lily Evans. She was muggleborn. The second he found out what she was, his heart ached with a horrible pain. They would never be anything. He was one of the purest purebloods pout there, and she was the orphan daughter of some French baker, according to his sources.

But as time ticked away and the seasons changed, James found that he couldn't avoid Lily Evans. She was everywhere he went and also in his dreams. After months of trying to escape her, James finally reached an agreement for them to stay away from each other.

That was before she disappeared. It took James all of ten minutes to figure out what happened to her. He remembered pummeling Lucian Gastor in a rage. It was that bastard's plan to get Dumbledore out of Hogwarts. Death Eaters kidnapping two students right under Dumbledore's nose would surely get him removed from his position.

The idea had come from James to start with. He was the one to suggest it to the Dark Lord, who was quite pleased with him. But James thought that the students would be some random first year Hufflepuffs not Lily. He knew that Benedict Auclair had been the person chosen to kidnap the two students. James didn't like Auclair one bit. He was chaotic and evil. His eyes always had this crazed gleam that prevented James from ever befriending him.

There was nothing he could do after he finished beating up Lucian. James paced his dormitory for over 24 hours. When he heard news that Lily and the imbecile Wood being found James snuck out of Hogwarts and used dark apparition to get to London.

Once he made it to London James went to Mungos. They wouldn't let anyone in her room while they were operating on her, but James Potter wasn't one to listen to rules. He used the invisibility cloak his father gave him when he first came to Hogwarts and went into Lily's room.

James would never forget how Lily looked that horrible June night. He was sure that image would find its way into his dreams and turn them into nightmares. Her body was twisted and ragged. He could see that the healers were working to patch up the large cuts and burns staining her body. They removed her shirt and for the first time in James Potter's life his eyes didn't look at a girl's creamy breasts, no his eyes were transfixed on the gaping hole in the middle of her chest.

He could see bone and blood peeking out and almost vomited. James stayed in the room the entire time. Lily didn't move once, she was so pale. James could see her veins through her skin. After a few hours, the healers left and she was starting to heal.

Most of her body was wrapped in bandages, but James didn't care. He stayed with her until early in Sunday morning. James felt the familiar burn of the dark mark on his arm. He cursed, he had to leave Lily and report to the Dark Lord. James leaned over her ragged, mangled form and tapped her forehead with a light kiss. Then he left and didn't come back until the next evening.

James held a single rose as he walked to Lily's room at twelve in the morning on Monday. He had gone to the large death eater meeting and then headed home. He slept for the first time on over three days. James remembered his master's plan with a light smile.

The meeting was to discuss the next movements for the purist movement. James was the youngest person in the room, due to the fact that he was the sole representative from the Potter family. The Dark Lord had reported that Auclair was dead, James grinned at this.

James liked the plan for the next day. Attacking the Ministry right under Bagnold's nose was so smart. The Dark Lord was sure that Bagnold would be evacuated at first signs of distress, and he relied on that. If Bagnold abandoned the Ministry and let a group of Death Eaters kill every mudblood inside then it would look like she wasn't willing to protect her people.

She would be impeached and the purist party would have complete control over the Wizengamot and the Ministry. James grinned and ran a hand through his hair. He snuck over to Lily's room and opened the door. He frowned when he saw that it was empty. James checked the room twice for Lily. Maybe they released her, he thought. James closed the door to her room behind him and saw that a door across the hall was open.

A note, if James Charlus Potter had chosen to ignore his curiosity and leave the hospital before looking inside of the room across the hall, the future and world would have been altered. If he hadn't been born with a Pandora gene, then everything would have been so different. But thankfully James was a naturally curious guy.

He peaked inside of the room and his world fell apart. He felt a sharp tug of pain strike him in the heart. It was as though Zeus, himself, had struck James with one of his lightening bolts. James felt the rose in his hand seethe with smoke and burn into ashes as his heart ached. He didn't care that he had done wandless magic for the first time in over five years. All he cared about was the girl sleeping in the bed in the room. It was Lily, she looked healed and healthy, that made James less concerned. But his pain increased as he looked at Michael bloody Wood who had his arm around Lily's waist and cuddled into her.

James took one last look at Lily before running. He bolted from the scene and used dark apparition to go to his home in Godric's Hallow. James felt tears slip out of his eyes. His emotions and feeling were choking him. James did the one rational thing he could. James transformed into a coffee-colored stag.

See to understand what just happened without feeling the shock that an unaware reader would feel something must be explained. While James, Sirius Black, and Jason Gastor were in their last year of Charms School they cracked Remus Lupin's darkest secret. They discovered that Remus was a werewolf. All three boys had grown up with horror stories about werewolves. But Remus Lupin was a quiet, sweet boy who didn't seem to enjoy ripping children's throats out.

Before Hogwarts began, the boys confronted Remus. Remus was distressed and thought that his closest friends were going to abandon him. They did the exact opposite. They embraced him and commended his bravery.

During their first two years at Hogwarts, the Marauders reached stardom. The seventh years begrudgingly admitted that they were destined for greatness. They reveled in the spotlight. But something prevented them from ever truly basking; Remus's demons.

The other three boys researched ways for them to be with Remus during his transformation. They even considered letting Remus bite them. But they found the best answer thanks to Dorcas Meadows.

James remembered Meadows. She was a pale short girl that he never wanted to shag. Her eyes were always so serious and her face was pinched up into a permanent scowl. He wondered how Gideon Prewitt could even date her. During a second year Transfiguration class Meadows had wondered aloud that if someone was an animagi could they within stand a werewolf's scratch and bite.

By the Marauder's fifth year they had managed to master the art that was being an animagi. James Potter's form was a coffee-colored stag.

James sprinted through the woods near his house. His senses were heightened when he was a stag. His feelings were also numbed. But his hope that being a stag would numb the pain that Lily brought to him was wrong. His pain didn't decease it remained a steady level of sharp pain that would slowly suffocate him.

James quickly transformed back into a human. He looked around and saw that he was deep inside of the Godric Hallow Woods. He could see a small brook and a field near him. James crouched down overcome with an unidentified emotion. He never felt this before.

It took him a few sobs and screams of pain to figure out what had happened. James remembered his dad describing to him what love was. He said that love was an infinite surplus of feeling. He said that someone could never love anyone too much. But being in love was different.

James' dad told him about the Potter curse. It dated back centuries ago, but it was something that never left the family. One of James' ancestors was in love with two different women. He couldn't choose one to be with so they both cursed him. The curse passed to the descendants of this wizard. They cursed the man to never so that if they ever loved anyone then that person wouldn't love them, unless they were their soul mate. This passed to every single male descendant of the wizard.

James remembered asking what a soul mate was. His dad told him that the ancient Greeks described a soul mate as being the missing half to oneself. They said that people started out as one being but the gods punished them by splitting their soul in half. One few where able to find their other half.

James listened to his dad's story and asked his dad if his mum was his soul mate. His dad never answered the question; he instead looked to the horizon and pretended not to hear the question. That was enough for James.

Ever since that day James kept love and the idea of being in love far from his mind. It was the reason for why he slept with a new girl every day. It was so he would never get attached. It was so he could never feel what it was like to have unacquainted love.

But that night by the small brook near the Potter Manor James realized something.

" Fucking hell! I'm in love with Lily Evans," James shouted. When he said that something inside of him stirred. It was like his soul had smiled. James shivered and let a tear fall out. He was in love with a girl who could never love him. James was positive that Lily Evans wasn't his soul mate. He never knew that he was wrong.

The next day James went into battle with a blank face. He was in love but James was good at pushing way feelings and emotions he wasn't able to confront. This time he wasn't good enough.

That's what happened right up until now. James ducked a curse and heard a scream. His heart clenched in pain when he heard the scream. James smiled evilly at the auror he was dueling and shot a bolt of green light at the man. He shuddered when the man fell to the ground with glassy eyes.

James bolted to the other side of the Antechamber. He set quick and precise defense spells at the hexes and jinxes thrown his way. He heard the scream again and saw a crimson clump of hair. James' heart thudded as he watched Lily writhe in agony. He looked up and saw Mulciber standing over her with an evil expression.

James quickly leaped into the air and forgot his wand. He socked Mulciber in the face and shoved him to the ground. James kicked him away and turned to Lily. She was on the ground breathing faintly.

Her emerald eyes met his hazel ones as he pulled her into his chest. James felt her slump against him and breathed a sigh of relief; Lily, his innocent sweet Lily was fine. Suddenly she shoved her body out of his hold and glared at him. James watched her take out her wand and point it at him.

" Lily," James warned. She ignored him and stared at her wand. James held his fingers around his own, which was in his pocket. But he couldn't bring himself to take it out. James watched Lily's eyes trace his black robes and look at his arm. He gulped as her eyes narrowed.

" Why did you help me? Wanted to be the one that killed me Potter," Lily sneered. James felt his heart shatter. She thought that he wanted to kill her? No even though it disgusted him, James was in love with her. He was in love with the girl whose wand was staring him down with a death threat.

James let out a soft laugh. He was James Charlus Potter. He performed his first unforgivable at the age of fifteen. He killed; he took a live for the first time over a year ago. James Potter was a name that strikes fear and admiration from his peers. He was someone to be feared, not someone to fear.

" Hasn't anyone ever told you not to tempt death," Lily sneered. James gulped and his eyes flashed to her trembling fingers. He grinned and ran a hand through his hair.

" Evans I'm not tempting death. You're not going to kill me. I doubt you've ever killed someone. You've never felt their neck snap or the hope leave their body. You've never seen the light leave their eyes-," James started. Lily shrieked and glared at him..

" I'm letting you go since you saved me. I don't want a blood-tie to a death eater," Lily said. She took one last glance at him and fled. James nodded but both of them knew that she was lying. She couldn't kill him; she had never killed anyone before. But he had. James had seen the light leave someone's eyes. He had seen hope drain from them as they were tortured. He had killed. James Charlus Potter was a killer.

And until that day in the Antechamber of the Ministry of Magic James had never felt any regret or feeling towards all the people he killed. But as Lily's eyes held such fear and dread he did. James Potter felt guilty for the first time ever.

James turned to the battle and fought. He was like a machine. More of those idiotic order members came through the doors. This time James didn't kill any of them. He merely stunned them and turned to the next enemy.

James felt the chamber start to empty. People were apparating out of the room. He met the snake-like eyes of the Dark Lord and nodded. James flew into the battle and tried to prevent people from leaving. But he failed, for the most part. James didn't know whether to feel angry or upset about this.

He could feel a familiar prickling sensation on his neck. James scowled and grunted as a spell hit him. James flew back but stood. He felt his leg protest but ignored it. The room was ablaze with smoke. He could see that the large fountain in the center of the room had fallen.

The battle was drawing to a close. James caught sight of Bishop Shacklebolt, a well-known blood traitor, barking for people to leave. James hoped Lily was one of those people.

But he was wrong. As the room started to empty, James saw a scene that made him falter. It was Lily, his Lily. His heart skipped a beat as he watched the Dark Lord circle her. Lily had never looked more defenseless.

" Lily Marie Gastor, or is it Lily Evans? I've heard so much about you. Your brothers spoke of your kindness and naïvety. My death eaters spoke of you as a jest to others. But the girl standing before me does not deserve any of that. You have brought disgrace to your people and family. Luckily for you, I am a generous man, join me and make amends for your past mistakes," Voldemort crowed.

James met Lily' eyes with a plea not to do anything stupid. He almost missed the comment about her name. James' eyes widened with shock. What did the Dark lord mean? Lily Marie Gastor, no this was Lily Evans, the spunky muggleborn he was in love with.

Lily's eyes met his in disgust. James stared at her in confusion. Who was she? James watched her turn to his master. He dodged a spell sent his way and started to slowly make his way over to her. His right leg protested with bolts of pain shooting up it. But James ignored them.

" Someone once told me that when Voldemort wants you to join him say ten words," Lily began. James eyes widened at her tone. She was speaking in that voice fuck! She was about to do something very spunky and idiotic.

"So you say my name with no fear. I will pardon you this one time, but please do tell those ten words," Voldemort said. Lily snorted at this and James tried mentally urging her to agree to his master's deal. He couldn't do anything for her; this was between the Dark Lord and Lily.

" Never in a fucking million years, you old deranged bastard," Lily replied. James sucked in a breath and looked at his master. The Dark Lord seemed shocked. Lily looked his way and James relaxed. But there was something different in the way she carried herself. He couldn't identify it.

James watched as Lily dove forward. She grabbed her wand and aimed it at the ceiling of the room. She smiled at it and James watched her in bewilderment.

" I hope to look down at you in hell," Lily finished. She yelled a curse James was too familiar with. It collided with the ceiling and James cursed. She was going to blow up the Ministry! Was Lily insane?

" You will regret your decision little blood traitor," snarled Voldemort. He made eye contact with James. James nodded at him. His master smiled an evil grin and used dark appariation to leave the room. James looked at Lily. She was wounded and pale. James needed to get to him. He needed her like air.

James approached her and she watched him as though she was being hunted, and he was doing the hunting. James saw her make eye contact with someone as realization hit him like a bullet. It all made so much sense.

When James first met Jason Gastor, he spoke about having a sister. But a year later he acted as though he never had one. The Marauders questioned his actions but never said anything to his face. But Jason did have a sister. There were six Gastor children, well now there was only five, well four James thought.

He remembered seeing Lucian Gastor being hit with a green light in the battle vaguely. He remembered making eye contact right before Lucian fell. He whispered a word that James barely heard. It made his heart ache.

A note on Lucian Pollux Gastor, he wanted to be a golden boy just like Julius. But unlike Julius, Lucian had planned on staying with he girl he was in love with: Eliza Rosier. The day Lucian Gastor died he had a box in his pocket. The ring he planned to propose to Eliza Rosier sat inside as the last word he would ever say escaped his mouth; it was Eliza. It's a bit cruel isn't it? Lucian was suppose to be Lily's next evil; her enemy. But it turns out that he would never live long enough to carry out the threat he left for his sister. Lily would never know that Lucian died regretting how he treated his little sister. He died regretting that he never got to know who Lily really was. But that's what war and strife does. So many people would die with regret by the end of this war, Lucian Pollux Gastor was just one of them.

Back to James now, James stared at Lily and felt like hitting himself. He had known Mrs. Gastor for over five years. It seems that her genes made up for their lack of presence in the other Gastor children in Lily. Lily Marie Gastor looked like a younger replicate of Delphina Gastor; other than the fact that Lily's eyes were emerald-green instead of Mrs. Gastor's grassy-green and that her hair curled into graceful twirls like Mr. Gastor.

James remembered his visits to the Gastor Manor. The closed door every member of the family skirted around in the hallway. Mrs. Gastor's eyes always having a sad glean in them. The way the Gastor brothers carried themselves with grief. James wondered why Lily wasn't raised with her brothers.

James looked around the room, as he was three feet away from Lily. He looked at her with an interested stare.

" Lily Gastor," James mused a mere foot and a half from Lily. He grinned evilly as she took skirting steps away from him. James could see her injuries from up close. His heart pounded pain and agony at the sight of the deep gash of her forehead. She was limping and clutching her right arm as she backtracked away from him. James could see a wall coming up from behind her.

" Jason once told me that he had a sister who was gone, but he never said that she was dead. I guess she isn't," James stated as he cornered her in between a column and the wall. Lily looked up into his eyes. They gleamed with rage.

" I am not a Gastor, I renounced myself years ago James Potter," Lily screamed at him. James raised an eyebrow at her abrupt announcement; she was touchy about this.

She was right against his body, her blood fell onto his black robes. James could feel her body heaving against his. He could feel his heart pounding against hers.

" But your blood will always control you Lily," James shot at her. He took his wand and pressed it against Lily's forehead.

" James, you don't have to do this," Lily begged. She glanced at the wand against her head. Blood trickled onto her face. James looked at her in confusion. He was trying to heal her. Why wouldn't she want that?

" What am I doing," James questioned curiously. Lily swallowed and glanced at the wand again. James could see her fingers wrapped themselves around hers, but they faltered with fear.

" I know what you are going to do. You are going to kill me," Lily responded. James looked at her in shock, pain flickering in his heart. Why would he kill her? He was in love with her? James pushed the feelings of pain and anger away. He smoothed his hurt expression and looked into her eyes. He could see layers of emotions in them.

Some hurt him. The pain and fear present in her emerald-green eyes caused his chest to contract with agony. James muttered a spell, and watched the skin on Lily's forehead heal. He was planning; James Potter was a planner. He had a spark of a plan ever since he saw something in her eyes. James was never surer in his life when he saw love present in Lily's eyes. She loved him, but she didn't' know that.

" Lily you are too important to die. I have plans for you," James answered. Lily looked into his eyes. A firm expression sat on his face, but not on hers. James watched her face crumple and felt a tick of sadistic joy. He was a hunter and James wasn't going to give up what was his so easily.

" What do you want from me," Lily beseeched. Tears glistened in her eyes. James brushed one of the tears away from her eye. He could still see a hidden layer of love in her eyes. No matter how much she tried to hide it from not only him, but also herself it wouldn't work.

James ignored her question and made a plan. He loved Lily even though she hated him. James would have her no matter what. She was a pureblood; it was destiny forcing them together. James had a letter to open. When his parents died they left him a letter. He refused to open it. James was afraid of what was inside. But he was James Potter and he would not be afraid.

James prodded her body with his wand and healed her injuries. When he finished a blush traveled up Lily's throat. Oh Merlin he loved that blush. James wrapped his muscular arms around Lily and remembered something.

He internally cursed as he tapped the melody to a music piece against her hipbone. James remembered what Lily did; he remembered that she obliviated him. He was lucky that Lily seemed to be utter shite at memory charms. His drunken memories engulfed him.

He remembered holding Lily and drunkenly telling her about his mum's death. He remembered the sparks that flew when they touched. He remembered her gently touching him and healing him. He actually shivered at the memory of her fingers pressing against his hair and massaging his head. James pushed the hurt he felt from her rash thinking. Lily had obliviated his memories. James no longer felt imprudent. He had discovered who Lily really was months ago.

James sighed and took a step away from Lily. He felt the Dark Mark writhe against his skin; he was being summoned. Being a death eater came with several perks. He could do underage magic thanks to some connections in the Ministry and was able to use dark apparition. But the one con to it was the summonings at obscure timings. James looked around them. The room was collapsing into chaos. He faced Lily with a set expression.

" Lily no matter what you do. No matter how much you fight, all of that will be in vain. You are mine and your blood knows. We need to leave before the building collapses. I would apparate with you, but I assume that you are not partial to dark apparition. The floo station on the right corner just turned on. You have five minutes," James affirmed brutally.

He watched Lily blink at him in shock. James pushed her towards the floo stations. He couldn't stay with her and that was killing him.

" I would ask you to join me, but I don't think the scene I am attending is your idea of a good summer vacation. I'll see you next year Lily Gastor," James mused at her. James watched Lily's face conflict with the shadows of the battle around them. He had to go, but James would leave his heart with Lily. It was really hers.

It took six months, but really a lifetime.

It took a day, but really seven years.

It took a handful of passion moments, but really it was days and nights of longing stares.

It took a plethora of variables that could have changed at any moment for James Charlus Potter to realize that he was undeniably in love with Lily Marie Gastor.

Love can be a tedious affair. James never thought that he could love anyone. He was burdened by a curse that haunted his family for generations. But the second he first looked at Lily at the tender age of eight he knew that she was the fire he was looking for. James was too scared to fall in love, but Lily gave him the courage to do so. James Charlus Potter was more of a Gryffindor than he could ever think.

As James apparated from the room falling into chaos he watched Lily's eyes. They were like a web, a web of lies. She tried to hide her real emotions behind facades of bravery, but even Lily was capable of fear. James could see love buried deep in the web; she loved him yet she didn't even know it.

James Potter left Lily in that room. He never realized something either. He never realized the click in his heart as he left the room. He lied to himself about one thing; Lily Marie Evans or Gastor was the one person who was able to fall in love with him while he loved her.

She was his soul mate. They were two halves of a broken soul and neither of them realized that, well not yet. But with time things could change. Lily and James didn't know what the future had in store of them.

_An End to Innocence_

Lily remembered every detail of what happened for the next four days. She had managed to floo directly into Dumbledore's office, where the rest of the Order members were. Since people were still coming in, no one question her lateness.

The Daily Profit blamed the attack not on Bagnold but rather the merciless forces of Voldemort. Emmeline had declared the article to be the best piece of journalism for the newspaper to create in over a year.

The battle had been dubbed the Battle of the Ministry. Lily snorted at this title. It wasn't a battle it was more of a massacre. She tried to block out the memories of fallen bodies and screams of agony, but it didn't work.

34 witches and wizards were reported dead, including Lucian. Lily didn't cry when she found out about Lucian's death. Instead she made herself a promise. She wasn't going to be afraid anymore; Lily was going to open those letters on the train ride back from Hogwarts. She didn't need threats to make her do something; Lily was brave enough to do some things herself.

What happened during the battle had been warped. All Hogwarts students present had cover up stories. Lily noticed that the death eaters had cover up stories with better aliases than theirs. None of the Marauders returned for the last four days of school. Lily saw that Cassius wasn't present in school either. She received a letter from Pericles on Wednesday morning telling her that they were holding a family meeting after Lucian's funeral the day after she returned from Hogwarts.

Most students at Hogwarts were rattled by the news of their deceased Headboy. Lily could see Eliza Rosier crying into her brother's shoulder at Lunch. Students were given the option to leave school early using the floo systems in Hogsmeade.

Younger students jumped at the opportunity to end their school year early. The older years stayed behind, wondering if this would be their last year at Hogwarts.

Michael and Lily reported in front of the school board and gave their testimony about their kidnapping. Michael's wounds had yet to heal. The healers were saying that the slices could take months, maybe even a year to fully heal. Lily and Michael pressed that Dumbledore was completely not at blame for what happened. They may have saved his job that Tuesday evening.

However they were unable to save Hogsmeade trips. The board voted and officially banned any student from leaving school grounds for the following year. The remaining students watched Lily and Michael with sick fascination. They were too scared to ask about what happened to them. But that didn't end the gossip.

Adam McKinnon and Gideon Prewitt stayed in the hospital wing until Wednesday evening. They had been hit with several stunners to the chest and even the cruciatus curse. Lily remembered her own experience with the cruciatus curse with a shudder. If Potter hadn't intervened then she would have probably been killed.

On Thursday and Friday the 5th and 6th year Gryffindors spent the entire days together. They knew that the minute they left Hogwarts everything would change. They were growing up and none of them were ready for adulthood.

They traveled through the castle speaking in soft voices because really there was no way they could go back to how everything had been.

Lily had all of her things packed on Friday evening. Right after the end-of-term feast Lily left her roommates to their own devices. The feast had been magnificent, but in order to have a good feast people must be happy; no one was happy. The empty seats of students who left and students who died this year were scattered across the hall. Lily could see that Bishop Shacklebolt's seat at the faculty table was empty. Dumbledore had declared that this year's winner of the House Cup was Slythein. Lily knew why he did it; it was to comfort those who mourned her brother's death. Gryffindor or Ravenclaw should have won that cup; but neither of the houses really cared.

Death can be the glue that truly bonds people. Lily had seen it before her very eyes during that feast. The hall was in silence for Slytherin's victory. But then Lily and Michael stood at the same moment and began clapping. She clapped for their lose of innocence, for their forced bigotry, and for their deaths. Their numbers had been very high throughout Hogwarts, but now only fifty students remained at the end-of-term feast.

After Dumbledore's speech on Lucian and staying safe over the break, all students went back to their dorms. Lily spent some time with her friends cherishing this one last moment. The younger student who had taken a picture of the Quidditch team after it had won reappeared and demanding for another.

They took it in the common room. Gideon, Benjy, and Frank stood behind the couch. Emmeline, Alice, and Marlene squeezed onto the couch cushions. Adam and Fabian rested on the hand rest of the three-seat couch. Lily sat on Michael's lap directly under Alice. She could see the flash of light sealing this moment forever. Lily made sure to get a copy of the picture.

Later that evening, Lily left the girl's dorm and Gryffindor tower and headed out to the Black Lake. Lily watched the lake as it languidly moved with the summer breeze. She was wearing a pair of loose sleep pants and a green t-shirt. Her wand was securely tucked into her pocket.

Lily had so much to think about. As she roamed about the castle Lily discovered that the door to the entrance hall was unlocked. She quickly snuck outside and headed for the only place that could hold all of her thoughts.

She couldn't sleep anymore. Flashes of what happened to her and Michael snuck into her dreams. Worst of all was Potter. He was constantly in her dreams. Lily got some dreamless sleep potion and it helped a bit, but not enough. Thinking about Potter brought the reality of Lucian's death on her.

Tomorrow she would go to her childhood home. Lily would stay with her brothers for Lucian's funeral and then she had plans for Sundays.

No one, not even Michael, was aware of her plans for the summer. Lily wasn't quite sure about them herself. But no matter what she wanted, her heart knew where she had to go. Lily sighed and looked up to the night sky. The stars offered her no comfort.

Her family was torn apart. They had been eight, now they were down to four. Lily knew that she no longer felt any attachment to them but it meant something to her. She remembered Jason's desperate begging and flinched. Family was suppose to be there for each other but she wasn't there for hers and they weren't there for her.

Her family wasn't really her family. They hadn't been a real family since the day she left for Greece. Blood may bond people, but sometimes the bond can be broken. Lily knew in her heart that no matter what happened; a part of her would always be a Gastor. She hated that in a guilty way.

Lily would open those letters tomorrow on the train. It was time for her to face reality and accept that her parents were dead. In the end she managed to discover how they died. Her dad was a death eater, which made bile creep up her throat. During a Diagon Alley death eater attack, there was a fiendfrye release. Her dad helped make the fire, and her mum helped destroy it.

When Dumbledore told Lily of her Uncle Darcy's involvement in the Order of the Phoenix she was stunned, but also happy. It made sense. Darcy Auclair had been in favor of her plan and he knew Dumbledore. She felt so much sympathy for Darcy Auclair. He had lost his wife after 27 years of marriage. Soon after he was forced to raise a girl who resembled everything he left behind in England. He tried so hard to raise these children to be open-minded, but only one of the ended up that way. The other killed his own father for not getting his inheritance. In that moment Lily knew what Darcy Auclair left her his estate. She would never get her parent's inheritance since she wasn't really their child anymore, but she was Darcy's. Lily did feel guilty that he had not split the estate in half though.

Back on track, Lily had been even more flabbergasted by Dumbledore's revelation that her mum had been an active member of the Order. Soon after he spoke with he, Dumbledore had to leave. This left Lily to her confused mind. Members of the Order pieced together how her parents died.

During the attack on Diagon Alley, her dad left the Gastor Manor in death eater robes, her mum left bearing the weight of an Order member. Her dad assisted in torching the alley, her mum assisted in going into fire and saving people. Her mum never made it out alive. Her dad had seen his wife's hair and they had a large spat in the middle of the battlefield, one middle-aged witch told Lily. When her mum went into the fire, trying to save some of the people inside her dad followed her. Aurors found their burned bodies the next day.

Lily cried by the Black Lake. She cried for her mother's courage and her father's decisions that defined her family's choices. She cried for her friends up in the Gryffindor Tower; they lost their innocence too early. Lily cried for the Auclair family; she even cried for Benjy. Lily cried for Selena and Galen; they were going to loose a mother soon. She cried for every person she ever loved and she cried for the people she didn't love.

Lily wiped her tears away and stood. She was ready to face her fears and open those letters. She was ready to accept her parents' deaths and move on. Lily was ready to stop being a stranger to her friends; they opened up to her so it was time she repaid the favor. Lily was ready to put her life in France in the past; she was going to sell the Auclair Manor. Lily was ready to stop pushing Selena and Galen Kingsmill into her past; they weren't going to stay there. Lily was ready to be brave; she was ready to be Lily Marie Evans.

Lily stood by the edge of the lake and watched the sky. The moon was not present that night. But Lily didn't need a large beacon of light to guide her. Sometimes the stars alone were enough.

Lily walked over to the large oak tree near the lake. She could see carvings made by students into the stiff wood. Lily let her finger graze one of them.

_September 1st 1971- the class of 1978 enters Hogwarts_

Lily entered this class during their 5th year. These people had some of the most tragically beautiful souls that Lily had ever encountered. Lily knew that she hadn't been at Hogwarts for even a year, but in those six months her entire life had changed. Lily lifted her fingers from the wood of the tree and walked back into the castle.

Lily noticed that the castle was silent, but that was expected. There was something beautifully haunting about Hogwarts at night. Lily loved it here, she knew in her heart that this was the first place she ever felt truly at home.

Hogwarts changed her life. The people and events she experienced defined her for the better. Lily learned that she was apart of this world, whether she wanted it or not. She could never leave this world again. But Lily was okay with that.

Lily remembered her last conversation with Bishop Shacklebolt. He left Hogwarts the previous Monday. DADA had been cancelled for the rest of the year. But Lily spoke to him right before he left. She could remember his smooth voice as he explained to her that the war wasn't going to stay behind them. No, it had caught up to them and was engulfing everything. Lily promised him that she would fight. She would fight.

For the first time in Lily's life she found something she truly wanted to fight for. She smiled and tucked her hands into her pockets. Lily could see the sun starting to come out. It was dawn and dawn was a time for new beginnings, but Lily didn't need a fresh start.

She went back to Gryffindor Tower and slept for two hours. Around seven, Marlene woke her and she showered. As Lily dressed, she finished her packing. Hestia had been sent to the townhouse in London. Lily left specific instructions for Daisy the house elf to feed her.

All of Lily's belongings fit inside of her bracelet. Lily looked around the dorm. It was empty and bare of any human signs. She knew that this would change when they returned for their next school year. Lily walked out of the dorm and left her friends to finish packing.

She stood in the common room and stared at the trophy case. Lily smiled at the Quidditch Cup stationed in the center of the trophy case. She could see her name engraved into the gold below it. Next to the trophy was a picture frame that contained the team photo for this year.

" The healers aren't sure if I'm going to be able to play next year," a voice said from behind her. Lily frowned and face Michael. She could see his bandages peeking out of his shirt. All of her wounds had been able to heal, but the opened scars on Michael's chest refused to heal with magic.

She could see the puckered scar on the edge of his face. Lily still didn't know how he got it, but she wouldn't ask. That was Michael's secret to share or keep. Michael Wood knew more about her than anyone else alive. But she still had some secrets she wanted to keep. Lily let Michael do the same.

" If you can't play next year then the team is screwed," Lily announced. Michael walked over to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Lily remembered kissing him in Hogsmeade and his declaration. Michael hadn't said anything about it, so Lily didn't bring it up.

" Well I gave a fantastic captain recommendation for a certain member of the team," Michael said. Lily nodded and looked at the fire.

" Care to elaborate," she asked. Michael squeezed her shoulder and mockingly smiled.

" It's a surprise," Michael explained. Lily nodded and their friends joined them. In their group of ten, they headed down to the Great Hall for their last meal at Hogwarts for the school year.

The hall was quiet as they ate. The Gryffindors spoke about the concert they had plans to go to in August. Lily was planning on staying with her brothers for this weekend and then leave after Sunday. Lily would return to her townhouse and settle the things she left behind.

After they finished eating, the Gryffindors went outside and entered the carriages. Lily watched them flounder over the Threstals grimly. During the last six months every single one of them witnessed someone die. She saw a familiar Threstal and walked over to it.

" Hello Tenebrous," Lily murmured. She remembered James Potter stroking its main back in January. Lily stepped back from the Threstal and entered a carriage. Since only five people could fit in a carriage, the Gryffindors split up for now. Lily joined Marlene, Frank, Michael, and Gideon. Alice, Emmeline, Fabian, Benjy, and Adam took the other one.

" It's sad isn't it? Next year we'll know our OWL scores and have an idea of the future. We're going to loose our ignorance," Marlene mused.

" It's worth it. After 5th year things start to change," Frank soothed. Lily nodded and looked out the window. The castle looked so scenic and moving. Lily had said her goodbyes the night before, but she still watched the castle gracefully leave her view.

Lily boarded the train in the Hogsmeade Station. She helped Michael with his bag and sat in between him and Alice. It was a tight fit, but none of them were willing to separate. Lily watched the train move with a lurch. She smiled sadly as the village and the castle was behind them.

Lily read a book while most of the Gryffindors slept. She couldn't sleep so Lily looked out the window. She kept her book down and watched the view blur together. Lily knew that it was almost time for her to open those letters, but it wasn't time yet.

She woke up the Gryffindors around twelve and they bought lunch from the food trolley. Soon after they slept again. Lily knew why they were so tired. They stayed up most nights for the past week to hang out in the common room. Every single one of them had only gotten about three to four hours of sleep each night.

Lily watched them with a light smile. Frank was slumped against the window and Alice was curled up on him. Gideon and Benjy leaned against each other and snored in unison. Fabian leaned on Marlene as he slept. Emmeline was practically on Adam's lap as they breathed against each other. Michael's head was on her shoulder.

They looked so peaceful. This was the type of thing Lily wanted to remember. Lily dozed off with the memory of her friends' peaceful expressions.

When Lily woke her friends were still asleep. She checked her watch and cursed. They were be in Kings Cross in 23 minutes. Lily slide out from Michael's hold and quietly exited the compartment. The hallways were quiet as she walked to the last train car. Lily peeked inside of a compartment and discovered that the occupants were asleep. She noticed that a lot of people seemed to be catching up on sleep.

Lily opened the door to the small outdoor area of the last car. She closed it behind her and faced the summer breeze. The view was amazing. Lily watched forests blend into mixtures of brown and green. A flock of birds flew across the endless blue sky above her.

Lily leaned against the door of the train. She tapped her bracelet with her wand and summoned the two letters. Lily looked at them. She could recognize her parents' faded handwriting. Lily bit her lip and debated which one to open first.

Fate has an interesting way of working. If fate hadn't taken notice of Lily's dilemma then the future could have been so different. If Lily chose to read her dad's letter first then she would have never had the courage to open the one from her mum. Thankfully she slid her dad's letter into her pocket and ripped the envelope containing her mum's letter open first.

Lily's hands trembled as she held the last words of Delphina Ipomoea Gastor in her hands.

_Dear Lily Marie Gastor,_

_If you are reading this letter it means that both Darcy Auclair and I are dead. It's strange to think of you. You've always been my daughter, but you're different. Ever since the day you were born I knew that. The second I looked into your green eyes I knew that I would protect you from ever being forced into the same fate as many girls like you._

_I like to think that I'm lucky. In Greece girls were auctioned off into marriages like in England. My parents were strict but they didn't want that fate for me. It was destiny that sent your father to me. I fell in love with him like the sun; I fell in love with him every single dawn of every single day I knew him. I left everything I knew behind for love and it was worth it._

_You've always been different from your brothers. I love all of my children equally but you were always so special. I tried to not love you, but it was so hard. Loving you would ruin everything I planned. It took my soul and my heart to send you to Greece, but it was always apart of my plan._

_If you ever return to England every thing I worked for will be wasted. I spent nearly a decade planning to ensure that you wouldn't be forced into the marriage that you were going to have. And it worked. But in order to let you be free I needed to give you up. That broke me._

_Yet it was worth it. Letting you go ensured that you wouldn't be forced into some horrible arranged marriage. I love you so much that I had to let you go._

_Your father let me name most of our children. I chose the first names and he chose the middle names. But with you it was different. He named you Lily in hopes that you would be perfect and pure. I chose your middle name not for your dead aunt, but for my own reasons._

_Marie it's a lovely name really. But I named you Marie in hopes for my plan to work. It means rebellion darling, because that what you turned out to be._

_I met Albus Dumbledore at my wedding. We stayed close and he offered interesting proposition and me. I joined a group intent on protecting the people they loved. I've been a member of the Order of the Phoenix for over twenty years. I hope you know about it._

_Lily, it pains me to say that I will never know you. I had the chance to love you for nine years, but I didn't take it. I knew that if I loved you like I love your brothers then I'd never be able to let you go. I'm too selfish to give up those I love. I chose to love you though. And it killed me to let you be free._

_I know that you must feel so much resentment for me. I deserve it. You spent nine years caged in this society. It took me too long to set you free. I could have done more to free you, but I was selfish._

_Lily Marie Gastor I will always love you no matter what you do or who you are. I'm proud of the courage and bravery you hold. My friends who you've stayed with speak of you with so much love that it kills me._

_I'm dead and I will always love you. Never stop fighting. Never give in. Remember my sacrifices and carry them with you. Lily you are strong and so brave._

_You're destined for something, but that doesn't mean you have to follow it. Make your own path my daughter. You can choose your own destiny if you want to._

_I love you no matter who you are and what you do._

_Mum_

Lily's hands tightened around the letter as she read it. She was wrong about everything. Her mum was brave her mum wasn't a monster. She gave Lily up because she loved her, not since she was disgusted with her. Lily slid down and sat on the ground. The words in that letter would never leave her.

Lily took her wand out and licked her lips. She quickly made the letter explode into ashes. Lily took those ashes and let them fly out into the air near her. Lily was giving her mum peace, and accepting her death. Lily was ready to move on from her mum's death, she was ready to face her future.

Lily pulled her dad's letter out of her pocket and wiped the tears off her face. She held it and slowly opened the letter. Lily brought the ink-stained letter to her face and read it.

_Lily Marie Gastor,_

_If you are reading this then I am dead. I planned on telling you all of this on your seventeenth birthday. But if I die then no one else can._

_I named you to be the perfect daughter you're destined to be. I sent you to Greece to control your magic. Sending you to Beauxbatons was the assurance that you'd be the perfect pureblood. You've been troublesome, but you're valuable._

_I'm only doing this because I love you. You're my sole daughter, and the queen on a chessboard. You will bring the Gastor family honor, whether you want to or not. A year after you were born, I met up with a classmate of mine. He proposed the perfect arrangement for both our families, an alliance._

_Your marriage will ensure that the Gastor name will not be forgotten. I know that you are a rebellious girl; that's why I set up the best wards to ensure this marriage even if your mother and I die. If your future husband's parents die, he will receive a similar letter to this one. I doubt that he knows who you even are though, due to the spells I've kept up._

_If you do not confront him about this arrangement by his seventeenth birthday then there's a lovely muggle village that will be eradicated. I know this is harsh, but it's necessary to ensure our family's success._

_Lily you will always be my greatest piece on a chessboard. I think that you and James Potter will be a perfect match. His family is similar to ours but fate has prevented marriages between the two for the past three centuries._

_His family was eager for this opportunity. Your mother's blood is new genetics to the English purebloods. This made you unique._

_Lily Marie Gastor you will marry James Potter and bring honor to the Gastor family._

_Sincerely,_

_William Julian Gastor_

Lily's hands shook as she read the letter. When she finished, Lily stood and screamed. Potter! How cold she be stuck with Potter? Lily remembered something but the memory wouldn't come. Lily stared at the expanse in front of her. She saw a flock of bird over her.

Lily slumped to the floor. She should've listened to her mum. Lily had followed her dad's evil plan. He tricked her into returning to England. She was trapped. There was no way for her to get out of her betrothal now.

The minute Potter turned seventeen; he would have complete control over her life. Lily sobbed. She had been let out of the cage of her society years ago. Now, she had been tricked back into it. Her mum's sacrifices were all in vain.

Lily had failed to escape the gold cage of Pureblood society. She was trapped and there was no escaping her fate.

Lily felt the train lurch to a stop. She couldn't face her friends now. Lily could see train track in front of her. She turned and entered the train. Lily bit her lip as she quickly made her way out of the train.

She had to get out. She couldn't stay here. Lily had less than a year left of freedom, after that she would be trapped.

The second her feet hit the hard ground of Kings Cross Station, Lily ran.

_End of Part One_

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**I literally typed this entire chapter in the last two days. I hope it pleased those anxious for Lily to open the letters. Initially, I planned not to make Lucian into a villain and let him marry Eliza Rosier. But his betrayal and death were necessary for Lily to realize that no matter how much she wanted to leave her life as a Gastor behind, she couldn't.**

***Behind the scenes notes:**

**1.I've planned out the James perspective since I first wrote the prologue. I made his thoughts similar to Lily's since it showed that they were really soul mates.**

**2\. I didn't plan to have so many original characters to start with. Lily's family was always going to be large but the people and friends she had were going to be canon.**

**3\. The Gastor family will not play a large role in part two. Another name I had planned for part one of Confingo was the Fall of the Gastors. There are three remaining Gastor brothers. Two of them will not play a large part in part two.**

**4\. Part one focused more on Lily's life in France and England. Part two will reveal more about Lily's life in Greece and how she fell from Society.**

**5\. In part two there will be more focus on other characters besides Lily. For all of the Blackinnon fans out there, Sirius and Marlene's relationship will be focused on. There will be some strife in some of the Gryffindor relationships. I presented them as perfect and flawless for the most part. Alice and Frank will have to carry the burden of the war. Emmeline will have a strong reaction to Adam's plans for the future. Marlene and Fabian will deal with the world being against them. Gideon will start dating again and move on from Dorcas. Benjy will face prejudice and feel isolated from his friends as most of them are purebloods. Michael and Lily will deal with the traumatic experience they faced while kidnapped and the secrets they're keeping from each other.**

**6\. Lily's relationship with the Marauders will progress. I hated the way I presented Sirius and Remus. They seemed so evil. Lily will also have to deal with James's plans for her.**

**7\. The situation of Lily being scared to open her letter will be much different for how James feels about opening his letter.**

**8\. If I get a lot of reviews supporting this then I will do it: Adding more perspectives. i.e. The Marauders and the other Gryffindors.**

**9\. There will be a main character death in part two.**

**10\. Michael Wood and a character that will come into the story in part two are my tributes to my all time favorite au original character; Baker/Harland Simmons from Love and Other Tragedies.**

**Please review opinions for number 8. I would really appreciate some more reviews ( reviews are like Lily's pomegranate obsession!)**

**I want to thank every person who reviewed this story. Also the people who private messaged me you guys rock! Also the readers who tolerated my ramblings and grammar errors.**

** R&amp;R**

**\- Rin**


	9. Teenage Wasteland

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the god of writing, aka J.K. Rowling**

* * *

**Part Two Wildfire**

_All the devils are here_

* * *

**Chapter 9 Teenage Wasteland**

**(Sweet Home Alabama)**

* * *

Lily breathed in the salty ocean air. She smiled and looked at the endless blue expanse in front of her. She hadn't been in Greece for over three years, and her memories had not done it justice. Lily's feet dragged against the sandy beach and her light dress billowed out around her.

The sun was just starting to set; it was dusk. Lily loved dusk. She watched passionate berry pinks and moody oranges swirl into the horizon. Lily's skin bid the sun goodbye as it lowered into the sky.

" Some things don't change do they? You're still obsessed with the sky," a voice teased from behind her. Lily wrapped her arms around her chest and frowned. That wasn't Selena's voice. It was deep and masculine. An accent laced into the English words.

Lily turned and met a pair of baby blue eyes. She grinned and stared at the muscular body of her old crush, She almost didn't recognize him. His tawny brown hair wasn't stuck in a buzz cut. It was long and stuck up in defined clumps. His skin was a rich tan that looked like the color of fawn wood. His eyes had crinkles and a few laugh lines surrounding them. Lily didn't recognize the tall sunny man in front of her. But his eyes gave him away. She knew of only one person with those lively sky-blue eyes.

" Gale," Lily asked. The man in front of her grinned a crooked smile. Lily ran towards this man and he held his arms out in an embrace. She stuck her head in the crook if his shoulder and inhaled his sea-salt scent.

Galen Kingsmill wasn't the free-spirited teenager she remembered him to be. The last time Lily saw him he was a joyful fifteen year-old boy. Now he stood in his nineteen-year-old glory.

" Where have you been," Lily demanded once he let go of her. Galen rubbed his neck and Lily could see a flash of a fresh scar.

" It's complicated Rose," Galen murmured in her ear. Lily smiled at his use of the nickname he gave her when she first came to Greece. He said that she was the utter and complete epitome of an English Rose, and that it would be his immense pleasure to change that.

" We have time," Lily pointed out. Galen smiled and led her up the stone pathway to the airy Kingsmill Manor. The two walked inside and went out to the patio. Lily took her old perch on the railing and Galen stood next to her twisting his fingers.

" After I graduated, back when I was seventeen, I was accepted into the auror department here. After a year of training I was sent on missions. I just got back from one up in Edessa. There's been a lot of Dementor attack lately," Galen explained. Lily sighed and faced him.

" Selena wrote to me in June. Why have you been avoiding your family," Lily asked. Galen sighed and stretched his arms. Lily could see scars staining his sinewy arms.

" I heard about your parents and brothers. I'm sorry," Galen announced. Lily frowned at him ill attempt to change the subject. But it did deter her. Lily had been able to block all thoughts of her life back in England out. She came to Greece an hour after leaving Platform 9 and ¾ and had stayed for the past month. It was late July and her skin bore the sign of her time in the sun.

Lily hadn't heard from any of her friends or brothers since she got here. She thought that had something to do with the distance. Lily pitied the owls that had tried to get to Athens.

" Gale don't change the subject," Lily scolded. Galen relaxed at her use of his nickname.

" I dunno what happened. It's the war. That bloke in England started reaching out to the continent during the past four years. It must have been worse in France," Galen explained. Lily flinched at the thought of her life in France.

She had sold the Auclair manor and all the stuff in it only a few weeks ago. Lily had left everything she knew in France. Her ghosts were too present there. It would take time for her to ever consider returning to France. She nudged her old friends and indicated for him to continue.

" I became an auror because I wanted to be a hero. I didn't want to be plagued with seeing people drained of their souls. I didn't think I would spend my days battling Dementors all the time," Galen clarified.

Lily felt something inside of her stir. It was so dangerous of her to come to Greece. She still didn't know how to produce a Patronus Charm; she was defenseless here.

When Lily first arrived in the Greek Ministry from the British one, that had been freshly rebuilt using magic, she went to her mother's family's villa. Her grandparents died over three years ago; but it still pained her to stay in the large villa with only the house elves for company. The next day she knocked on the Kingsmill villa, across the street, and was immediately engulfed in one of Selena's tight hugs.

She spent the next month with Selena. Her father was often at the magical hospital in the center of the city. Lily went at least once a day ever since she came to visit the ailing Apolline Kingsmill. It broke her heart to see her old piano teacher, and mother-like figure so ill. Lily knew that she wouldn't live to see the end of the summer.

Lily spent her days at the beach attempting to get a tan. Her plan had worked a bit. There was a golden glow to her normally creamy skin that reminded Lily of her family's rich tan skin. Then she blocked out memories of her family and swam in the beach.

The one member of the Kingsmill family that Lily had never seen since she first came to Greece was Galen. Selena frowned at Lily's questioning about her older brother. She told Lily that ever since Galen started his work with the aurors something had changed inside of him.

But as Lily watched the physically and mentally scarred man in front her, she didn't see anything different about the boy who had taken her second kiss. He looked a bit down, but the minute Lily made eye contact with him, he seemed to relax.

" Do you know where Lena is," Lily asked him. Her old nickname for her sister-like friend had returned the minute she saw her friend.

Selena looked different. Her skin was still the amber hue that Lily remembered. Her eyes were still the serene ocean-blue that twinkled with joy. But there was a hidden sadness in them. Selena's hair was longer. It was a light caramel hue with blond highlights that reached her stomach. Selena was still annoyingly beautiful and graceful. Lily didn't care though; she missed her friend too much to be envious of her friend's good looks.

" She slammed the door to the house in my face and apparated to the hospital," Galen admitted with a rueful chuckle. Lily looked at him sympathetically. He managed to block out his family due to his attempts to numb the world around him.

" I promised your mum that I'd go to the hospital today. Do you want to come with me," Lily said with a pleading look. Galen's face crumpled into a frown. According to Selena he had managed to not visit his mum once since she had been emitted to the hospital.

" Rose I'm not too sure," Galen muttered. Lily frowned and jumped off the balcony.

" Well unlike Lena I'm not of age yet and I need a ride Gale," Lily sniffed. Galen looked at her with an amused expression.

" Fine, but only for you Rose," Galen stated. Lily grinned and grabbed his hand. Her hand was much smaller than his. She felt a tug at her navel as they apparated to the hospital.

" Lily darling is that you? Oh who's that with you," Mrs. Kingsmill weakly said from her bed. Lily entered the room and pulled Galen in. He wore a sheepish grin and let Lily tub him over to his mum. Mrs. Kingsmill looked like a child on Christmas morning as she stared at her son.

" Galen come give your mom a hug," Mrs. Kingsmill ordered with a wide grin. Galen smiled at her shyly and leaned over. He pulled him mother into a hug and Lily watched them with a grin. She managed to reunite a son and mother; it was a good summer.

" Oh Lily come here," Mrs. Kingsmill demanded. Lily blushed as she leaned down and was enveloped into a hug by both Galen and Mrs. Kingsmill. It was a good summer indeed.

" Lily get your ass out of bed! We're going to the beach now," Selena barked. Lily groaned and turned over from her bed. After much begging from Selena and Galen she was forced to move out of her villa and into the Kingsmill one.

" We go to the beach everyday," Lily shouted. She heard her door open and felt the covers ripped from her body. Lily glared at her pillow and sat up. She could see that it was early morning. Lily slept in a lot lately. Unlike in France or England, Lily wasn't plagued by nightmares here. She decided to make the most of it by sleeping for long hours. Selena had nicknamed her the cat that wouldn't do anything but sleep and eat.

" Lily Marie Evans," Selena threatened. She had been one of the few people to immediately accept Lily's plans. Lily informed Galen a few days ago and he seemed proud of her.

It was a week after Lily took Galen to see his mother in the hospital. Ever since that day, he worked from dawn till dusk. But he came back to the Kingsmill villa, to the utter shock of Mr. Kingsmill and Selena. Lily met him at the beach everyday at dusk.

She had forgotten how much she loved Greece. The Kingsmills taught her the true meaning of family. She found a place in their house and family. Lily loved the beaches and of course the views. In England beaches were rocky strip of gray water. Here they were sandy expanses with bright blue water.

" Galen I tried it's your turn," Selena barked. Lily sat up and watched her curiously. Selena winked at her and sashayed out of the room. Lily heard footsteps and saw Galen in her doorway. He watched her with a smirk.

" I remember a time when you had this absurd crush on me. I can't believe that you're turning down the opportunity to spend the day with me," Galen teased. Lily frowned at him and rubbed her eyes.

" Why aren't you at work," she mumbled. Galen ignored her and grabbed a dress from her closet. He threw it a her and smiled.

" I took the day off so we could do something. And if you remember Rose, I don't take no for an answer. Meet me down in the patio in ten minutes, otherwise I'll drag you off to the city in those lovely pajamas," Galen threatened. Lily blushed at the thought of going into public wearing her short shorts and tank top. She shoved Galen out of her room and quickly showered. Lily slid into her dress as she brushed her teeth.

She placed a hair-drying spell on her hair as she walked down the stairs. Lily was grateful that the Kingsmills had a clearance on their home for housing two of age wizards and two of age witches. Here in Greece, school ended in the English equivalent of one's 6th year. Selena would be finishing school this year.

Lily walked out to the patio and found Galen sitting there wearing a button down shirt and khaki shorts. She could see a wicked scar on his leg that looked like a large bite.

" Let's go," Galen ordered. He grabbed her arm and Lily's world spun. She leaned over and Galen watched her in amusement when they landed. She groaned and stood. They were in central Athens, and it was filled to the brim with bustling people.

" Never do that to me again," Lily groaned. Galen smirked and led her to the nearby market. He bought two containers of pomegranate seeds and handed one to Lily. She accepted it with a smile and popped the juicy seeds into her mouth.

The two walked through the city reminiscing about old things and talking about what happened to them in the past few years.

" Ugh why would you date Arielle Mendel," Lily groaned. Galen shrugged and grinned.

" For the record, she may be a right bitch, but she has quite the tits," Galen explained. Lily shoved him as they crossed a street. The sun was high in the sky and beat down on them. Lily was happy. Being with Galen allowed her to forget about her crappy life. Lily had a limited number of days where she would be free. She planned on using them all.

" My mum always spoke about this place," Lily murmured. She and Galen were in the National Gardens. Lily saw a moonflower and touched it. The petals opened up and she smiled.

" Same with mine. Hey let's go to the Plaka and see if that restaurant you were obsessed with is still there," Galen suggested. Lily nodded and grabbed his outstretched hand. They apparated to the famous Plaka and walked to Lily's favorite restaurant in Athens.

Lily laughed at Galen's mockingly gentlemanly show of pulling out her chair. She sat and he sat across from her. His knees bumped hers affectionately and she smiled. After they placed an order for a plate of pita bread and Lily's favorite hummus Lily looked around the small and quaint restaurant.

She started coming to this restaurant ever since she was ten. It was a place that held fond memories of her life here and not in England. Well until Galen Kingsmill decided to take her there that July day.

If he hadn't taken Lily to that restaurant, Lily may have been tempted to stay in Greece and never leave. Potter couldn't find her and as long as she kept their betrothal a secret she was safe. Lily never held any romantic feelings for Galen. He was her best friend; he was closer to her than even Selena.

The kiss they shared back when she was eleven was purely experimental. Both of them had never kissed anyone and wanted to get it over with. But Lily loved that kiss. Galen had made it special for her. He took her out flying and kissed her over an infinite expanse of water and sunlight.

Lily was sure that if what happened next didn't occur she would have probably stayed in Greece. She would forget about England and her brothers and let them fade into her past. She would marry Galen; they always say that you should marry your best friend, and raise a household of children with his tawny hair and her emerald eyes. But that wasn't what fate had in mind.

Lily hear the ring by the door jingle and glanced at it unconsciously. What she saw was like being electrocuted. Lily stood and turned. Galen looked at her in concern. But she didn't notice him. Lily gaped at the person who entered the restaurant that held such fond memories.

" Pericles," Lily choked. Her brother looked over at her and frowned. He took a step towards her.

" Lily where have you been, " Pericles said with a baffled expression. Galen turned to her with a question. Lily felt her heart clench. She felt as though a bolt of lightening had hit her. Seeing someone from her life had woken her from the dream-like state that Greece forced her into.

Memories poured into her mind. Each one pierced her like a gun. She gasped and leaned over. Pericles made a move towards her and Galen jumped towards her. Lily brushed them away and breathed in. No matter how much she tried to run, her life would always find her.

" Galen this is my brother Pericles, Pericles this is Galen Kingsmill his mum was mum's classmate," Lily introduced. The boys watched each other warily and briskly shook hands. Lily sighed and turned to Galen.

" I'm sorry but do you mind if we continue this later. I think I owe Pericles an explanation," Lily asked. Galen nodded and placed some muggle money on the table.

" I'll meet you outside then," he said. Pericles stepped in before Lily said anything.

" That's not necessary. I'm sure that I'll be able to escort Lily to the Lilius villa," Pericles clarified. Lily sent Galen a pleading look to not tell Pericles that she was staying with him and his family. Galen nodded and placed a kiss on her cheek. He clapped Pericles on the back.

" It was grand meeting you. Lily, you know where to find me," Galen finished. Lily gulped and watched him leave the restaurant. Pericles moved and took Galen's seat. Lily bit her lip as she sat across from them. Their food arrived and Lily picked at it. Pericles didn't touch anything.

" Why are you in Greece," Lily finally asked. Pericles looked up. Lily could see a faintly hidden trace of mourning in his eyes.

" I was offered a job in the magical hospital here. What about you? Lily we were so worried when you didn't show up to Lucian's funeral or the family meeting. Jason even contacted some of your friends to see if they knew where you were," Pericles explained.

Lily bit her lip and looked down. She felt guilty about what she did. It wasn't right of her to just bolt out of England. But she wasn't thinking rationally when she read that letter.

" I dunno. I just needed to escape for a bit I guess," Lily mumbled half-heartedly. Pericles snorted and crossed his arms.

" Lily if you want to be treated like an adult you need to start acting like one. I'm your guardian; if you died or got hurt it would be on my hands," Pericles scolded. " I'm sorry," Lily mumbled. Pericles sighed and accepted it reluctantly. The two ate quickly and left the restaurant. Pericles sat with her on a bench and they spoke.

" Are you staying here," Pericles asked. Lily rubbed her arms and answered.

" No I may have consider it at one point; but I can't stay here. I've got obligations in England. You're welcomed to stay in the villa," Lily explained. Pericles nodded.

" Thanks I've been staying in a rundown inn for the past week," Pericles stated. Lily nodded and looked at the sky.

" Lily I've got to tell you something if you're going back to England. I'm staying here and working here. I can't stay in England anymore there's too many ghosts there," Pericles announced. Lily swallowed and nodded. He ran a hand through his wheat-colored hair and sighed.

" Cassius was accepted to the Montreal School of Euro-Glyph School of Extraordinary Language. He moved to Canada last week," Pericles added. Lily frowned at this.

" Isn't he betrothed to some pureblood," Lily asked. Pericles nodded and looked down at his long fingers.

" Natasha Goyle. She went with him. So it's just Jason in England now," Pericles finished. Lily frowned at this. Jason wouldn't survive by himself. If he were living alone that would not end well. Jason grew up surrounded by a huge family; and now he was alone.

" How did Voldemort feel about you and Cassius leaving," Lily asked. Pericles sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

" He was looking to expand so he supported us for leaving England," Pericles explained. Lily wrung her hands and looked at the sky.

" Oh I guess that's good for you," Lily mumbled. She stood and brushed some dirt off her dress. Pericles stood and stared at her.

" When are you going back," Pericles asked. Lily cracked her neck and bit her lip.

" Before school starts. The villa is nearby we can go now," Lily suggested. Pericles nodded and she hailed a taxi. After a twenty-minute ride she gave the driver some muggle money and waved to him as he drove by.

Lily turned and faced her grandparents, no her, house. It was a creamy color with large windows and a red-slate roof. Flowers grew in elegant designs all over the house. She led Pericles to the house and opened the wood door. Lily stepped inside and immediately smelled a flora scent.

" So this is where mum grew up," Pericles mused. Lily nodded and looked around. She hadn't been here in over a week, but the house elves had managed to keep it in good condition. The rooms were airy and had modern furniture. Lily took Pericles on a quick tour and showed him to a guest room.

After her grandparents died, three years ago, her mum inherited the house. In her will she left it to her one child who grew up here; Lily. Lily loved the house but she could still see the ghosts of her grandparents. She could see her young grandmum wearing a chic dress and her red hair up in a sophisticated bun. Lily could smell the scent of her grandmum's baklava. She could still see her granddad sitting in the living room listening to Lily play the piano while sipping a cup of scotch. She could see his rich mahogany hair and his joyful grassy-green eyes.

But those were only memories. Lily blinked and her grandparents disappeared. She cleared her throat and told Pericles to make himself at home. Lily left him and told the house elves to make some of her grandmum's grilled mix recipe. Lily grabbed a broom from the shed outside and shouted to Pericles that she was going to visit someone.

Lily flew over to the Kingsmill villa that was next door and landed on the patio. She smiled when she saw Galen standing on it.

" Hey," Lily greeted. He smiled and turned. Lily left her broom by the railing and walked over to him. They watched the beach for some time and the door opened.

" Lily what's this about ditching my brother," Selena chuckled as she walked over to Lily and Galen. Lily blushed and wrapped her arms around her chest.

" It's not her fault. Her brother mysteriously showed up in the middle of the restaurant," Galen explained.

" Which one," Selena asked. Lily rubbed her arms and answered.

" Pericles. He's the healer. He got transferred to the hospital here in Athens. He's staying at the Lilius villa," Lily explained. Selena nodded and grinned.

" Well I'm heading off to the hospital Galen you coming," Selene asked. Her brother nodded and Lily looked up.

" I'm sorry but I can't exactly stay with you anymore. It'd seem rude to my brother," Lily interrupted.

" It's fine, family first I guess. Here you can take your stuff whenever you need to," Selena answered. Lily pulled her into a hug and watched the Kingsmill siblings leave.

She headed inside the house and gathered all of her belongings. Lily rode her broom back to the Lilius villa. Lily felt something change. She knew that with Pericles' arrival things were going to be very different. But something seemed off, something was wrong.

Lily said goodbye to the late July air as she entered the villa. She spent sometime at the beach that day. July was almost over and things were changing. Selena and Pericles met and became quick friends. Selena planned on applying to the magical hospital in Athens when her school year ended. Pericles, being a healer, became her newest fascination.

Lily spent her days at the beach with Selena, at the hospital playing the piano for Mrs. Kingsmill and other patients, or with Galen. She and Galen spent the evenings and weekends exploring Athens. She forgot how much she missed him. Galen's original bitter attitude changed as they spent more and more time together.

Mrs. and Mr. Kingsmill were so thankful that Lily had brought their son back. But Lily didn't understand what happened. She knew that being an auror was dark work. Yet Galen spent his days saving people from Dementor and werewolf attacks. He didn't deal with the horrible death eater massacre in England. Lily shivered as she walked into the Kingsmill villa.

Today, she and Pericles were having dinner with the Kingsmill family. Mrs. Kingsmill had been discharged from the hospital that morning due to some improvement in her condition. Lily was so happy.

" Lily why do you insist on never being punctual. Your charming brother showed up at least seven minutes ago," Mrs. Kingsmill mockingly reprehended from her seat at the head of the dining room table. Lily blushed and bit her lips. She may have daydreamt while basking in the summer sun for a bit too long.

" Punctuality has never been my specialty Mrs. Kingsmill," Lily explained. Mrs. Kingsmill clicked her tongue as Lily took a seat across from Galen. Her knees hit his and she mumbled an apology. Lily looked at Apolline Kingsmill as she ate. Her face had a bit more color to it and her eyes had retained their sparkle. But illness surrounded her like a mist.

" Darling will you play for us. My hands aren't feeling up to it," Mrs. Kingsmill asked. Lily smiled and nodded. After everybody finished a light conversation and their food, the group headed to the open living room. Lily sighed when she saw the familiar glossy black pianoforte of her childhood.

Ever since she came to Greece, she had spent a few minutes each day with it. Then Selena would drag her off to meet with some of their friends from school. Lily's old schoolmates from the Athenian School for Sorcery had been delighted to see her. She spent days with them reminiscing and catching up on gossip.

Lily missed Greece so much. Being here only reminded her of everything she left behind when she left. But she couldn't stay here for the entire summer. Lily had to go back to Hogwarts eventually. Her dreams may have been free of her life in England, but her thoughts weren't.

Lily walked over to the piano and slid the lid up. She sat on the bench and straightened her back. Her fingers hovered over the keys in a greeting. Lily waited until everybody was seated and then she started to play.

Lily lost herself in the piece. She let her mind relax and focused on the music. Notes pummeled from the piano in a dance. Her thoughts broke free and her mind was clear. Lily's eyes glanced at the sheet music occasionally as her fingers twirled and danced with the keys.

She lost all sense of reality when she played. There was only Lily and the piano. Lily knew that she was talented enough to play professionally, but she never wanted to. Her heart yearned for the adrenaline of a battle. Yet that didn't mean that she couldn't play for pleasure.

Lily let the last notes of the song fall in a synchronized dance. When she finished, reality slowly came back to her. She heard clapping and turned. Mrs. Kingsmill's hands tapped against each other in a gentle pattern. Selena smiled at her and applauded her. Pericles watched her with a curious look. Mr. Kingsmill smiled before turning back to his book. Galen grinned and whistled.

" You've improved," Mrs. Kingsmill commented. Lily nodded and closed the lid of the piano. She sat next to Galen and felt his fingers play with her hair as she spoke with their company. Overall the summer was going spectacularly.

But fate works in interesting ways. Things were about to change. As always there is a calm before the storm starts. And that storm would start at 5 in the morning the next day.

The next morning Lily woke with a scream. She leaned up and wrapped her arms around her chest. Lily ran a hand through her hair and shivered. She blinked back the fear and gulped. Lily had her first nightmare in over a month. She stood and heard a loud clap of thunder.

Lily closed her windows and got ready. She rubbed her eyes and saw that the bags under her eyes were returning in her mirror. Lily wrinkled her nose and threw her hair into a ponytail. Other than the loud storm outside, the house was silent.

Pericles had started working a few weeks ago. Today he had been on call and worked through the night. Lily sighed and walked down stairs. She ate some toast and read a novel. Lily heard a pounding at the door. She had given the house elves the day off so Lily bookmarked her novel and went to the front door.

She opened it and met a pair of agonized sky-blue eyes. Lily immediately knew what happened as she looked at Galen Kingsmill's pained and mourning form. She pulled him into a tight hug and felt his sobs against her shoulder. Lily closed the door behind him and led his water-covered body to a couch.

" When," Lily croaked. She felt pain and sorrow wrack her body. There was only one thing that could have sent the usual joyful Galen Kingsmill into body-heaving sobs.

" In her sleep. She and dad were in bed and he woke up and noticed that she wasn't breathing. He took her to the hospital and she was declared dead," Galen choked. Lily nodded and blinked the tears away. Her mother had been so brave and strong. Delphina Gastor had chose to give her only daughter up. But Apolline Kingsmill didn't deserve to leave her family at such a young age. Lily almost couldn't believe that the willowy woman who cared for her in her youth was dead. The person who made her realize that music was one of the things worth fighting for was dead.

Lily pushed her sorrow and angst away. Instead she anchored Galen to reality and prevented him from loosing himself.

Three days later was Apolline Kingsmill's funeral. Her body was cremated and the ashes were released into the Saronic Gulf. The mosaic jar, which held Apolline Kingsmill's ashes, had an inscription on it_; Music is beyond all the magic in the world_. Lily thought it was perfect. Lily in between Selena and Galen and let them cry of her shoulders. After the funeral Lily headed back to her home with Pericles.

The next week was filled with her supporting the Kingsmill family. Lily did her best to keep Selena from spending the summer crying and moping around the Kingsmill villa. But it was really Pericles who helped her. Lily could see that her brother had taken an interest in Selena, but most males did.

But Pericles was different. He took Selena to work with him and they spent the evenings speaking about Milton's works. Lily knew that Selena no longer needed her. Selena was like a sister to her. But time had changed that. Her relationship with Selena Kingsmill would never return to its old state. They were best friends, but not sisters.

Lily let Pericles stay with Selena and focused on Galen. He spent his days alternating between work and hiding from his family. It took Lily a day to find his apartment in the central of Athens. She didn't force him into explaining his feelings. She knew that never helped. Instead Lily waited for him everyday after work. She spent the evening with him walking through Athens.

Lily was there for him and that made a difference in her future. Ten days after the funeral, Lily spent the day in her room. She was on a reading binge. Lily tour through her favorite authors and books. She delved into Austen and the Bronte sisters even though she could hardly stand them. Right in the middle of her newest fascination with Keats Lily heard a tapping at her window. She looked up and saw Hestia, her owl, by her window.

Lily frowned at this. She sent Hestia to her townhouse in London. Why was Hestia at her window? Lily flapped the page of her book down and stood. She opened the window and Hestia hooted indignantly at her. Hestia's expression seemed to express her anger that her owner had left her in an urban jungle for a month.

Lily smoothed Hestia's feathers. Her owl was larger than before. Lily offered Hestia a sunflower seed from her pile. Hestia took it and hooted at Lily. Lily felt guilty for neglecting Hestia. Hestia was used to long flights, not being copped up in a townhouse for months.

Lily saw a letter attached to Hestia's leg and frowned. She removed it and let Hestia fly around the house and enjoy the Greek air. Lily walked to her desk and cut the letter open. She recognized the handwriting and almost threw the letter out. But curiosity got the better of her. How did he know where she was staying?

Lily opened the letter and her eyes scanned it.

_Lily,_

_I spent a good four weeks trying to figure out where you lived. Thankfully you told me that Black was you neighbor. I had to grovel for him to give me your address; you owe me big time. So when I get to your house the bloody house elf informs me that Lily hasn't been home for a month. She stopped by back in June with a set of instructions and an address. I used your bloody owl, which looked tortured to write to you. Why would you leave your owl in the city anyways?_

_If you don't respond to this letter I will travel to bloody Athens Greece hunt you down and curse your hair off. Why did you just disappear? Marlene and I almost went to the auror office. I had to go to the bloody Gastor Manor and asked your brother where you were. Even Jason fucking Gastor didn't know where you were. We were about to set out a missing persons report, when I finally figured out where your house was._

_Lily care to explain why the hell you're in Greece? Even Frank has dedicated a good three days to looking for you. Why didn't you bother to write to anyone? I'm so bloody mad at you, I considered not even writing to you._

_But Benjy would have wanted me to tell you this. It's wrong of me to tell you this in a letter, but I honestly couldn't care. We've been doing some stealth missions for Dumbledore and the Order this summer. It's nothing too big. We're still getting training for fieldwork. Literally all we do is file things and let aurors wipe us out in dueling._

_A week ago, Benjy and I were the only ones available to go on a mission. We were scouting the Lestrange Manor and then death eaters attacked. They let me go, but they took Benjy. He was missing for an entire week. Yesterday the death eaters sent his body parts back in a box. Benjy is dead Lily._

_His funeral is on Friday if you even care to come. You've got a lot of explaining to do Evans._

_Michael Wood_

Lily's fingers shook as she read the letter. She let it fall to the ground and fell with it. Benjy Fenwick couldn't be dead. He couldn't be dead. Benjy with his cropped sandy hair and brown eyes couldn't be dead. Benjy Fenwick who should have lived to see his OWLS scores and become a healer.

Lily stood and grabbed her things with shaky hands. Her mum was right. No matter how far she ran, England would always pull her back into pureblood society. Lily shoved her belongings into her bracelet with shaky hands.

When she was done Lily sent Hestia back to England and looked at her room. She packed all of her belongings; Lily didn't know if she would ever return. Lily closed the door behind her and walked downstairs. She closed the door to the house behind her and locked the memories of her grandparents inside.

Lily grabbed her broom and kept it inside her bracelet. She had never bee more thankful for expandable charms. Lily crossed the street and knocked on the door to the Kingsmill villa. The date on the letter said that she had a day to get to England and go to Benjy Fenwick's funeral.

Lily knew that once she returned to England, she couldn't come back her. She had obligations that she left behind there. Going back would mean facing them and dealing with the possibility that she would never come back to Greece.

The door to the villa swung open and Lily met Selena's eyes. Selena analyzed her figure and pulled Lily into a hug. Lily sobbed into her shoulder and felt Selena lead her to the living room. She told Selena what happened.

" When will you be going back," Selena asked. Lily sniffed and rubbed her arms.

" Now. I just wanted to see you and your family one last time. I don't know if I'll be able to come back," Lily explained. Selena nodded and grinned.

" If this James Potter bloke you've told me about doesn't let you visit I'll personally go to England and hex his legs off," Selena announced. Lily laughed lightly and wrapped her friend in a tight embrace.

" I'm gonna miss you Lena. Are you sure that you'll be all right here," Lily asked. Selena nodded and picked at piece of dust off her dress.

" I'll be fine Lily. It's going to take some time for me to get over mum's death but I think I'll be fine. Dad has had time to deal with the idea. I don't think he'll ever truly heal but he'll learn to live. Galen. Well I dunno. When you came it sort of transformed him. He turned into the boy I grew up with. After mum died he's been slowly turning into auror Galen," Selena explained. Lily nodded and followed Selena into her dad's study.

She said her goodbyes to Mr. Kingsmill who hugged her with teary eyes and informed her that she was always welcomed back to the Kingsmill Manor. Lily wrapped Selena in a tight goodbye hug before taking a taxi to the magical hospital.

She found Pericles and told him that she was leaving. Lily informed him that he was welcomed to stay at the Lilius villa, but he declined. He said that he needed to get his own home instead of staying with his baby sister. After a tight goodbye and a warning to stay safe, Lily left him. She went to the Greek Ministry of Magic and bought a ticket to use the international floo station.

As Lily waited in line for the English floo travel she heard someone call her name. Lily looked up and saw Galen running towards her.

" Rose, did you really think that you could leave without saying goodbye," Galen teased. Lily blushed and smiled ruefully.

" I don't want to say goodbye to you Gale. It would hurt too much," Lily sniffed. Galen smiled and pulled her into a tight embrace. She tried to absorb his sea salt scent as he held her.

" This isn't goodbye Lils. I don't care about bloody James Potter. We'll find each other again that I can promise Rose. You saved me from falling in on myself, I'll do the same," Galen vowed. Lily blinked tears back and kissed him lightly on the lips. She let go and he stared at her in shock.

" I just wanted to see if you were still a good kiss, you're even better," Lily explained. Galen smiled and pecked her cheek. She smiled sadly as her turn to use the floo station arrived.

" We'll write," Galen promised. Lily nodded and waved to him. She grabbed some floo powder and turned to the floo station.

" English Ministry of Magic," Lily shouted. She turned and fell into the green flames; the last thing she saw was Galen Kingsmill's sky-blue eyes twinkling with sadness.

Lily gritted her teeth as the flames enveloped her. Memories she worked so hard to block out returned. She screamed as Michael's bloody back and the explosion filled her vision. Memories that had been blocked out of her mind for close to a month returned.

Lily felt her body fall out of a fireplace. She fell to the ground and closed her eyes. What was happening to her? Lily felt her heart speed up and harshly thump against her chest. Her head spun. Lily remembered that she had a similar reaction after flooing from St. Mungos to the Ministry back in June.

Lily felt someone grab her and a spell hit her. She slumped in relief and let her heart return to a normal beat. When Lily opened her eyes she met a pair of concerned brown eyes. She saw a ginger-haired man attached to the eyes. Lily blushed when she saw that people were watching her with concern.

Lily sat up and stood with the assistance of the ginger. She thanked him and brushed the dirt off her dress.

" You're welcome. My wife suffers from post traumatic stress disorder too. Usually she gets panic attacks after apparating though," the man explained. Lily froze and stared at the man.

" I'm sorry sir but I don't have PTSD. Thank you for your help but I must leave," Lily said. She turned from the man and walked briskly away from the man. Lily avoided the stares pointed at her.

She didn't have PTSD; she was Lily Evans how could she be traumatized. Sure, going through the kidnapping changed her for the worst, but she wasn't crazy. Lily told herself this and tried to prove it, she couldn't convince herself.

Lily looked around the newly erected Antechamber of the Ministry. Rebuilding had been a speedy process that took a week. But she could see that nothing was the same. Lily grimaced at the ceiling; she could see the wards kept up on it. Lily remembered how she destroyed the ceiling of the room and quickly walked through the building.

She could see that there was more security now. There were also less people. Employees held their wands out and walked briskly through the room instead of stopping to talk; Lily didn't look out of place here. Lily could see wizards and witches wearing the golden robes of the aurors. She frowned and tried to blend in. The last thing she needed was someone recognizing her and dragging her off to Bishop or Moody.

Lily sighed with relief when she exited the Ministry. She looked around bustling London and smiled; some things never changed. She hailed a taxi and gave the driver instructions to Grimmauld Place.

" So has there been any strange things happening lately," Lily asked. The driver snorted and honked at the car in front of them.

" If you mean that there's been a surplus of deadly events then yes," the driver muttered. Lily looked out the window and saw the sunny sky; it was rare for a day like this.

" What types of things," Lily pressed. The driver looked at her incredulously through his mirror.

" Miss have you been out of the country or something," the driver snorted.

" In a manner of speaking yes," Lily answered. The driver nodded and took a sharp turn.

" Well there was that huge forest fire up in Lancaster back in June. Then there was the freak thunderstorm in Glasgow that took out power for a week. Sheffield is suffering from some serial killers. Err I think that there was an earthquake in Bristol," the man listed.

Lily paled with each event he listed. The death eaters were getting bolder. She swallowed and thanked the man. When the taxi stopped, Lily handed the man an extra five pounds and told him to keep the change. She exited the car and watched the taxi drive away. Lily bit her lips and smoothed her dress as she walked up the stairs to Seven Grimmauld Place. She opened the door and heard a popping.

" Mistress Lily is back," Daisy the house elf announced. Lily smiled at her and followed the house elf into the house.

" How were things Daisy," Lily asked. Daisy showed her the clean furniture and stocked cupboards.

" I kept the house in tip-top shape! No one came by, except for a tall boy with brown hair and eyes. He asked for Mistress Lily so I gave him the address you left me," Daisy explained. Lily nodded and thanked the elf. She told Daisy that if she was up for it she could make dinner, Daisy agreed and smiled at Lily.

Lily headed upstairs and went to her bedroom. She opened the door and frowned. Lily gasped at the huge black piano that sat in the corner of the room. She went over to it and found a note on it.

_Lils,_

_Mum left you the piano in her will. I had it delivered to your house as a surprise. I've left a bottle of some potion dad got for me from a veela booth at the market. It's supposed to make hair more vibrant and have more volume. But I really think you could use some; my hair is a mess of curls and yours is great._

_Hugs and Kisses,_

_Selena_

Lily blinked back the tears and lifted the lid of the piano. She let her fingers graze the keys but didn't play them. Lily smiled and placed the lid back on. She turned to her room and found it mostly empty. She quickly unpacked and sat by her bed. Lily dug through her closet and pulled out the black dress she wore to her parent's and Darcy Auclair's funeral. She left it by her bed and went down stairs.

After eating a quick dinner Lily headed upstairs. She knew that sleep wouldn't come. She turned the lights on and entered her room. Lily sat on the bench near the piano and opened it. She let her fingers pound the keys with vigor. Lily lost herself in the song. Her fingers leaped and sang to the keys. Music vibrated in her ears. Lily stopped in the middle of the piece. She closed her eyes and grabbed her wand from her pocket.

Lily felt tears starting to come, but she couldn't let them come. She stepped away from the piano and looked at the door to the balcony. Lily sighed and hoped that Black wasn't out on his. She went outside and looked at the plants.

Lily hummed as she touched the flowers. She couldn't believe that Benjy was dead. He was vibrant and full of life. Lily realized that his death would change everything. Benjy Fenwick had been one of the glues that prevented all out fights from breaking out in their group. Without his calming nature and responsibility they would be lost.

Lily headed inside and saw that potion Selena got for her. Mr. Kingsmill often stopped by booths in the magical market for hospital supplies. Sometimes he found some rather useful cosmetic potions.

Lily grabbed the potion and went to her bathroom. She took Selena's note with her and kept it by the sink as she drank the vial of potion. Lily waited for her hair to become curly, but it never happened. She watched in shock as her hair lost its original curls and fell in sleek drapes down her back. The color started to change. Lily's usual fiery red hair turned to the color of dark blood. She grabbed the note Selena left her and turned to the back of it.

_P.S. I experimented with the potion before I sent it to you. Instead of the two-day time period it should last for about four to six months enjoy._

_Love,_

_Lena your favorite Greek girl_

Lily groaned and clutched her hair. It was usual wavy with a few graceful curls here and there. But now it was an unnaturally straight. It used to be a soft crimson with copper highlights. Now it was the color of a bing cherry.

Selena didn't have the greatest aptitude for potions and it was highly apparent in Lily's hair. Lily ran a hand through her hair. It came out without a fight unlike with her thick and graceful curls. Lily groaned and pulled it into a ponytail. She quickly showered; hoping that leaving it in a wet braid would allow her hair to curl again. Lily went to her bed and tried to sleep. It didn't come for a few hours and when it did, Lily was engulfed in horrible nightmares.

Lily woke early the next morning and went to the bathroom. She showered and looked in the mirror. Lily groaned. Her hair was still stubbornly straight and the color of dried blood. She dried it and changed into her black dress. Lily checked her reflection when she was done changing.

She looked different from the girl who came to this house in the spring. She was no longer so ignorant about pain and suffering. She lost something over the past few weeks, and it would never come back.

Lily's hair usually reached directly under her breasts. Now her hair touched the tip of her last rib. Lily's eyes had lost their child-like gleam. They were set in a morose emerald-green that showed open sadness. She had grown at least an inch and her body had grown. Lily's dress was tighter around her chest and she worked to keep it from being too slutty. The dress used to end right before her knees. Now it ended at her mid-thigh. Lily pulled on it and frowned. She didn't trust herself to transfigure this dress to a more appropriate length.

Due to ample time in the sun, Lily's skin was still a creamy color, but it had a light golden glow that made her feel like a Gastor. Lily tugged on her bracelet and checked the time. She had an hour before the funeral started. Lily planned on flying to the graveyard on the outskirts of London where Benjy lived.

She sighed and rubbed the small circles under her eyes. Lily slid a pair of small earrings on and grabbed her wand. She ate breakfast quickly and bid Daisy a quick goodbye. Lily ignored the copy of the Daily Profit sitting on the table and headed out. She looked around the neighborhood and quickly boarded her broom.

Flying in England was different from flying in Greece. Here, there were large clouds to obscure the flyer. In Greece the sky was clear and open. Lily had to use a disillusion charm to follow the Statute of Secrecy.

Lily flew for about thirty minutes. When she saw the graveyard, Lily flew down and placed her broom inside of her bracelet. She smoothed her hair and pulled her dress down. Lily entered the graveyard and saw a group of people standing in an open area. Lily could see plastic seats lined up and walked over to them.

The ceremony was almost starting so most of the seats were taken. Lil slid in an empty one towards the back. She blinked her tears away and rubbed her eyes as the priest spoke about Benjy Fenwick. Lily gasped when she heard him call Michael up to talk about his friend.

Michael's appearance hurt Lily so much. He stood in front of the podium and limped. Lily could see fresh scars staining his arms. He wore a black button shirt and dress slacks. Lily wore a muggle dress since Benjy was a half blood, thankfully most of the people here had.

Michael's hair was long. It reached the tips of his ears and concealed the jagged scar on his face. Lily gulped and looked down. She hoped that no one would recognize her. Lily heard the names of her friends called up to speak about Benjy. She looked down and stared at her hands. Lily couldn't face them. She felt a tear run down her face and rubbed it.

Soon the funeral ended and people started to leave. Lily looked up and saw that most people were gone. She stood and walked over to Benjy's grave. Lily felt a sob wrack her body. She wrapped her arms around her chest and bit her lip. Benjy Fenwick was too good; he didn't deserve this fate.

" Orchideous," Lily murmured. She moved her wand in a circle and a bouquet of flowers appeared. Lily knew the risk of underage magic but she didn't care. Benjy, her friend, was dead. Lily looked at his tombstone and read the carved letters.

_Benjamin Fenwick- 1960-1976- The world is full of magical things._

Lily stifled a sob and squeezed her ribs with her arms. She brushed her hair from her face and whispered a goodbye. When Lily turned she met a pair of brown eyes. Lily sucked a breath in and brushed a tear off her face.

" Michael," Lily whispered. Michael clenched his fists and grabbed Lily. He pulled her out of the cemetery and towards a nearby park. Lily could barely keep up with him.

" Michael stop, you're walking too quickly," Lily said. Michael ignored her and pulled her into the park. It was silent inside. He turned and faced her. Lily could see rage and anger in his eyes.

" What the fuck happened to you," Michael ordered. Lily flinched at his tone and tugged on her hair. He looked at her hair and groaned.

" Do you know how worried we were? Lily we had plans to spend the first week of the vacation with Marlene and then you just disappeared! At first we thought you were at your family's house or something. But after two weeks you never responded to any of our letters. The owls carried them back unopened. I thought you got kidnaped again, " Michael shouted. Lily looked down and clenched her fists. She didn't know if she had the courage to tell him what happened.

" Michael I can't tell you," Lily explained. Michael snorted and ran a hand through his hair. Lily could see the puckered scar from their kidnapping. His chest looked constricted and Lily could see a bandage peeking out from under his shirt.

" Lily I thought we were past the secrets," Michael announced. Lily nodded and wrapped her arms around her chest. She could feel herself breaking.

" This isn't some lie I've told. I found out about it on the train ride. That's why I left, I wasn't thinking rationally," Lily clarified.

" Lily you're never thinking rationally," Michael scoffed. Lily balled her hand and looked up into his eyes.

" Don't be so judgmental Michael I don't know if you'll feel that happy about this," Lily proclaimed. Michael reached for her hand and squeezed it.

" Lily do you know what the past month has been like? No that's because you were of in Greece doing who knows what! We've been working with the Order. Benjy's death it's my fault! If I were able to watch my back then the death eaters would have never discovered us. We were caught and they released me once they recognized me as Michael bloody Wood. But since Benjy was a half blood they decided to have some fun. I could have done something; I could have stayed with him and fought them. But I was so scared, I remembered what happened when we were kidnapped and I ran. I'm not even a good Gryffindor," Michael exclaimed.

" Michael that's not your fault. You're just one person. Even if you stayed behind and tried to save Benjy they would have killed you. You're brave, there's no doubt about that," Lily argued. Michael sighed and leaned back.

" It's been hell here. The attacks have increased and the Ministry's in chaos. The purist used to try and be conspicuous, but now they're out in the open Lils. Dumbledore has gotten so desperate that he is using 6th years to fight," Michael sighed. Lily squeezed his hand and leaned against him. She could feel his scars against his thin shirt.

" I shouldn't have left. I just couldn't stay here it was too much," Lily announced. Michael wrapped his arms around her and frowned.

" What happened Lily," he asked. Lily sighed and looked into his eyes. She could see an explosion of emotions in his eyes.

" I don't know if I can tell you," Lily murmured. Michael looked into her eyes and sighed. She could feel his lips inching towards hers. She leaned her head back and he spoke.

" Lils do you remember that conversation we had right before we were kidnapped by that wanker Auclair," Michael whispered. Lily could feel his breath on her cheek. He leaned down and tightened his grip on her waist. Lily relaxed in his grip. She made a noise of agreement.

Michael's lips inched towards Lily's. She leaned up ready to kiss him. But then reality hit her with a deafening slap. Lily's eyes bolted open. She couldn't kiss Michael; she couldn't kiss anyone. Being in a relationship wouldn't end well for Lily; and it was all James Potter's fault.

" Michael no I can't kiss you," Lily mumbled. She shoved out of Michael's hold and took a few steps back. Michael's eyes watched her with pain and hurt present. Lily gulped and blinked away her tears. She wrapped her arms around her chest and held herself together.

" Lily why? You have feelings for me, I know it," Michael demanded. Lily rubbed her arms and looked up into his eyes.

" I don't," Lily whispered. She internally flinched at the lie and Michael froze. His face turned deadly and he glared at her.

" Don't lie Evans. There's been something going on between us ever since I first met you, you can't deny that," Michael barked. Lily knew that he kept up defenses when he was hurt, and she understood.

" I never had feelings for you," Lily whispered. She didn't know if that was a lie or not. Michael groaned and turned away from Lily.

" You're lying," he snarled. Lily felt a tear form in her eye. She blinked furiously and looked at the sky.

" I'm not. I'm so sorry Michael," Lily mumbled. He turned to her with a deadly expression. Michael grabbed her and pulled her towards him.

" You're an evil bitch Evans. I love you and you made me this way. You ruined my friends and me. Emmeline cried; she bloody cried when they thought you were missing. Marlene hasn't gone a day without smoking. I've been up day and night trying to find you," Michael shouted.

Lily gulped and looked away from him. This was for the better. If she got any closer to these people then it would hurt even more when Potter took her from them. Lily drew in a shaky breath and looked Michael dead in the eye.

" I never asked you guys to do any of those things," Lily coldly stated. Michael let out a mocking laugh.

" That's right you don't even know what a good friendship is. You were friends with a death eater for your entire life and never even realized it," Michael sneered. Lily looked up at him and balled her fists. She held her chest; Lily could feel herself unraveling again.

" You're demanding for me to tell you all of my secrets? Well isn't that a bit hypocritical Wood? I've let you keep secrets why won't you let me keep mine," Lily jeered.

" Evans your secrets are too big! I thought you were dead," Michael shouted. Lily regretted her words; but there was no taking them back. She could see the fear and rage in his eyes.

" Michael," Lily whispered. He looked up with a crazed gleam and walked away from her. Each step he took unraveled Lily's heart a bit more.

" Don't call me that! In fact don't bothering contacting any of my friends or me. I wouldn't want them to see what a traitorous bitch you are," Michael sneered. Lily watched him stalk out of the park. She didn't try to call him back.

Lily stood frozen to that spot. She held her chest tightly and tried to keep herself from breaking again. Lily didn't let the tears out. She couldn't. Lily felt so hurt but she couldn't blame any person but herself for that.

Lily could see clouds pulling around the sun. Its warm rays were blocked from her skin. Lily had almost forgotten how gray England could be.

She tucked her wand into her hand and walked. Lily walked on shaky feet towards where she left her broom. She grabbed it and jumped on it. Lily felt so numb. Michael was the only person who understood what she went through. Now she had lost him. Lily blinked the tears back as she glided through a low cloud.

She lost her family, her friends, and even herself. Lily didn't know who she was anymore. She knew that she wasn't Lily Gastor; she was Lily Evans. But who was Lily Evans? She didn't want to be some secretive hidden person. But she had to. If Lily got closer to her friends, then it would hurt more when James Potter pulled her away from them. Even Michael. Lily knew that Michael was a safe choice, but she didn't have a choice anymore.

Lily had eight months of freedom. After that she would a slave. Lily landed behind the Leaky Cauldron. She entered Diagon Alley and looked down. Lily didn't want to draw any more attention to herself. As she walked through the street Lily remembered.

She tired to envision her mum fighting death eaters in these streets. She couldn't. The streets of Diagon Alley were filled with hope not fires and death eaters. Lily dodged a small child dancing through the bright-colored road. She smiled at the mum and continued on her way. Lily saw a wand store. She frowned; in Greece there weren't any wand stores. Instead students chose their wands from a large collection at the Athenian School of Sorcery.

Yet Lily's wand had a different story. She had gotten it from her grandparents who told her that it was a family wand. Lily instantly bonded with the wand and kept it. Her curiosity broke through Lily's depressed and melancholy mood. Lily walked towards the store and read the sign.

" Ollivander's," Lily murmured. She heard of the family. The Ollivander family was famous throughout Europe for wand making. Lily smiled lightly as she entered the shop. She heard a bell ring as the door closed behind her.

The shop smelled of musty wood and paper. It was dimly lit and filled with shelves. On those shelves were thousands of wand boxes. Lily walked towards one gray box and let her fingers graze the dusty surface.

" Excuse me please do not touch the wands," a voice scolded. Lily looked up and dropped her fingers. She let the blue eyes of a man. His hair was a salt and pepper color and he had a few wrinkles. She muttered an apology and the man walked over to her. His eyes traced her figure with crustiness.

" Aren't' you a little old to be in need of a wand," the man grumbled. Lily held up her wand and protested.

" No I've already got one," Lily explained. She felt her wand grabbed from her wands and blinked. The stingy man analyzed her wand with disgruntled respect. He tapped it with his wand and Lily reached out for it.

" Willow wood good for charms work. Quite squishy, with 10 and ¾ inches. What type of core is this," the man mumbled. Lily crossed her arms and tugged on a strand of her hair.

" It's unicorn hair," she sighed. The man made a noise of disagreement. He reached for a book sitting on his desk. He pulled it out and turned to a page. Lily leaned over his shoulder and looked at the page he was on.

" I've never seen this type of wand before. Where exactly did you get this," the man asked. Lily wrinkled her nose.

" Excuse me sir but you've taken my wand without my consent and I don't even know who you are," Lily scolded. The man looked at her in shock.

" I'm Gerrick Ollivander. Now will you tell me where you got this bloody wand," the man explained. Lily sighed and bit her lip.

" I got it in Greece," Lily answered. Ollivander grinned and twirled her wand between her fingers.

" I've never seen a wand like this. But my granddad did. He's got an entry on this. Miss this wand core isn't unicorn hair, it's Griffin feather," Ollivander exclaimed. He thrusted the journal entry at Lily and she peered down at it. He quickly grabbed it and read through the lines.

" See since lions are kings of the beasts and eagles are consider kings of birds, the Griffin is consider to be king of all creatures. It's known as a guardian of divine power. It's hard to come by a Griffin feather since they usually don't befriend humans. Good wand for powerful magic and defensive spell work," Ollivander exclaimed.

Lily stared at him incredulously. Why wouldn't her grandparents tell her what the wand's core really was?

" Great wand all together. You've kept it in pretty good condition miss," Ollivander finished. Lily heard the doorbell ring and he tossed Lily her wand. Lily watched with an amused grin as the frazzled man walked over to a woman and a small boy. She slid out of the store and entered the street.

Once she started walking down the street Lily felt her sadness return. What was she doing out in public? She should've been inside mourning or crying. But she couldn't Lily was too scared to be alone. Lily didn't want to spend her summer locked away inside of her house. But it wasn't like she had much choice.

Lily didn't want to face the Order. She could feel shame at her disappearing act. But Lily didn't understand why. Why did Michael make her feel so guilty about leaving? It was her life and she didn't even have a year of freedom. Lily decided that going to Greece was for the better.

If she hadn't gone, then Lily would have never gotten over her fears and lost herself. Lily saw the entrance to a dark alley. She could see a sign hanging over it. Knockturn alley was its name. Lily froze in front of the entrance. She could feel evil and mysterious emitting from it. Lily turned and quickly walked back to the Leaky Cauldron.

She ate a quick lunch of a stale sandwich and bottle of butterbeer. Lily looked around the small pub. Most of the men were desolate and drinking large glasses of alcoholic drinks. Lily wrinkled her nose when she smelled a man's breath travel across the room.

She finished her meal slowly and pushed her plate away. Lily brushed some crumbs off her dress and tugged on a strand of her hair. She heard the door open but didn't look up. She thought about nothing in particular for an indefinite amount of time. Lily could hear a loud voice and a shout come from across the room a few minutes later.

She looked up with a bored expression and yawned. Lily could see the figure of a tall male arguing with another customer. She sighed and stood. Lily ignored the loud shouts and walked towards the exit. She straightened her dress and pushed the door to the pub open.

Lily scowled at the gray sky. She missed the warm beaches and clear sky in Greece. Here, the sun barely made an appearance. Lily stood languidly by the door of the Leaky Cauldron while she glared at the sky.

Suddenly she felt the wood of the door shove into her side. Lily let out a noise of surprise as she tripped and began to fall. She braced herself for the fall that never came. A pair of strong arms grabbed her and pulled her up. Lily scowled and didn't look at the man. She brushed her dress and frowned.

" It's awfully rude to open a door on someone," Lily grumbled. The man standing over her wore a pair of shorts and beat up sneakers. She heard him snort.

" Well if little pretentious English girls such as yourself didn't feel the need to stand outside of a door than this wouldn't have happened," the man growled. Lily heard an accent twist around his words. But she ignored the sense of familiarity. Rage filled her as she scowled at her dress. There was a small tear in the fabric near her hipbone.

" You've ripped my dress," Lily announced. The man laughed at her.

" I did save you from falling on the ground which would probably do more damage than a small rip on your dress," the man grumbled. Lily felt a blush cross her cheeks. She could feel anger and annoyance fill her. Lily looked up, with a tongue lashing on the tip of her tongue.

" Why you dirty little git-," Lily started. Her accent made an appearance as her emotions exploded. But she paused when she met a familiar pair of sky-blue eyes. Lily could see petty annoyance in those eyes. Both of their anger faded as the pair stared at each other.

" Pinch me," Lily mumbled. The man turned his head in curiosity. Lily blinked and laughed.

" I'm hallucinating aren't I? Why would Gale Kingsmill be in England," Lily exclaimed with a cold laugh. She felt someone grab her and look into her eyes.

" Rose it's me," Galen murmured. Lily released a bubble of laughter and let her head fall into his shoulder. There was no way Galen could be in England. He was an auror in Greece. Where would he get the time to come to England?

She felt him tug her towards a nearby bench. Lily leaned against his shoulder. She knew that she was crazy, but Lily didn't think she was insane enough to start hallucinating.

" Gale, I'd just like to abuse my psychotic capabilities. My life is falling apart. I can't tell anyone about my betrothal before I tell Potter or he tells me. I'd rather not spent my summer tracking down the bane of my existence. All of my friends will want an explanation for where I was and I can't tell them anything. I don't have any family to talk to. And to top it off I'm stuck with James Potter for the rest of my life," Lily moaned.

She felt Galen wrap his arms around her and she groaned against his shirt. He smelled like sea salt and Greece. Lily blinked her eyes in frustration and wrapped her arms around her chest. She was breaking and Lily refused to break.

" Lils are you okay," Galen murmured. Lily gasped and breathed. She felt her heart pound against her chest and her head started to spin. She tried to answer Galen but couldn't. Lily blinked and breathed in. But it wasn't air; it was smoke. Lily moaned and coughed.

She could feel flames crushing towards her. Lily clenched her fists and dug her nails into her sides. She felt her wand fall towards the ground; but Lily didn't care. She was back in that dungeon.

Lily's heart pounded adrenaline and fear into her veins. Lily clenched her eyes shut and could see the fire surround her. She fell further into Galen's arms and heard him shout her name. But Lily couldn't do anything. She was trapped in the past.

Flames licked her skin and Lily fell into their embrace. She blacked out and was stuck in her memories. Lily could feel someone pick her up, but she really couldn't. Lily was lost to the past, a past that would haunt her forever.

Lily could feel her magic escaping in her past memory. It was like she was reliving her entire kidnapping. Lily felt her chest rip open and pain lance through her heart. She felt the tugging sensation of her chains and she could hear Michael Wood's tormented screams blend into hers. Lily fell into the flames and smokes of what happened to her.

She screamed and tried to free herself. But she couldn't. Lily let the flames engulf her and writhed in protest.

Lily's eyes bolted open and she shot up. Lily could see the familiar light green walls of her room. She sighed and wrapped her arms around her chest. Lily was still in her black dress and her hair was matted. Lily grimaced at the taste of her mouth and got up with timid feet. She could feel the morning light beat down on her.

Lily went over to her bathroom and slid out of her dress. She brushed her teeth and loved the minty taste of her toothpaste. Lily took a shower and wrapped her towel around her body.

Lily entered her bedroom and met a pair of sky-blue eyes. She screamed and tugged on her short towel. Galen blushed and immediately turned.

" Why are you in my house? Why are you in England," Lily managed to get out. She clutched her towel tightly and saw Galen inch towards her door covering his eyes.

" You had some sort of breakdown in Diagon Alley. Luckily, Selena gave me your address when I left Greece," Galen choked. Lily nodded and he cleared his throat.

" Umm I'll meet you downstairs then," Galen croaked. Lily agreed and he quickly left her room. Lily leaned against the polished surface of the piano. She slid into a pair of panties and a bra and threw a blue sundress on. Lily walked over to her desk and grabbed her wand.

She sucked in a breath as she fingers knocked over a open bottle of ink. Lily caught it before it fell on the shaggy white carpet. She frowned and vanished the mess it left on her hands. Lily sighed and looked at the curtain on her door. A streak of ink ran across the lace material. Lily removed it from her door.

She could see the flowers on her patio were in full bloom. Lily smiled and sighed; she would have time for them later. Lily grabbed her wand and used a drying spell. She grabbed the curtain and walked out of her room.

Lily could see that one of the guest rooms had been used. She smiled and walked downstairs. Lily could smell the scent of pancakes from the dining room. Her nose seemed to lead her to dining room. She saw Galen sitting at the elegant table reading a copy of the Daily Profit. Lily sat across from him and picked at her pancakes. He kept his newspaper down and looked at Lily with a frown.

" Gale why are you in England," Lily asked. He shrugged and rubbed a long scar on his neck. Lily felt goose bumps form as he traced the ragged scar. It was a jagged line that went from his jawline down to his collar. Lily knew that he got it during an auror mission in Greece, but he never explained how he got it.

" The Greek Wizengamot has decided to support the British Ministry in the war against you-know-who. They sent me here to work at the auror office," Gale explained. Lily felt dread stir in her stomach. Gale couldn't stay here; being an auror here was so much different from Greece. He noticed her frown and reached for one of her hands.

" Rose, don't worry. I'm not just the best auror in Greece for the sake of it," Galen promised. Lily nodded and bit her lip.

" Gale, Greece is filled with Dementors and dark creatures. Here it's different. There's dueling death eaters," Lily mumbled. Galen frowned and rubbed her thumb.

" Rose I've trained for this. I'm not some teenager going into battle at the last minute," Galen teased. Lily smiled at his joking of her incident at the Ministry in June. Galen and Selena knew about everything that happened to her. They were currently the people who knew her best.

" I know Gale. It's just that I've lost so many people, I don't want to lose you," Lily sighed.

" I'm not going to die Rose. I'll be perfectly fine. You on the other hand have some explaining to do," Galen announced. Lily sighed and pulled her hand out of his. She wrapped her arms around her chest and sat straightly.

" I may have some issues with dealing with what happened to me back in June," Lily murmured. She idly traced her ribs and looked down. Lily could feel Galen's intense stare on her head.

" Lily care to elaborate," Galen asked. Lily bitterly noticed his usage of her name.

" It's nothing but bad dreams and lack of sleep. I'm fine Gale. I just need time to adjust to being back in England," Lily argued stubbornly. She met Galen's blue eyes in a fierce gaze and he relented.

" Fine. I need to apartment hunting today care to join me," Galen asked. Lily frowned and wrinkled her nose.

" Do you mind staying here until I go to school? You could stay here while I'm at school if you wanted," Lily pleaded. She was scared to be alone. Lily didn't want to live as a ghost of herself. Galen brought a drop of light into her lifeless soul.

He sighed and pinched the bridge between his nose. Lily gave him her best doe eyes and he relented.

" Fine but only because I'd prefer not to live in some dingy muggle neighborhood," Galen agreed. Lily let out a whoop and grinned. She ate her pancakes and drank a large glass of orange juice. When she and Galen were finished Lily led him up to her bedroom. He sat on her bed working on some work and she messed around with the large piano. But Lily was happy; she wasn't alone anymore.

Lily's days were spent in a haze. Galen had to go to work during the weekdays and some weekends. She usually spent those days reading or playing her piano. When Galen had a day off from work, they would explore muggle London. Lily was still mourning Benjy's death but she was happy.

She never tried to contact her friends; it was too much for her to handle. Lily's dreams were filled with them though. She could see them dueling in the Battle of the Ministry all over again. She watched Adam fall all over again.

She watched herself writhe in pain and James Potter save her. Lily couldn't do much to keep him off her thoughts though.

Lily groaned and rubbed her eyes. She had just woken from a mild nightmare. Lily knew that even though it wasn't bad in comparison to other ones; yet she wouldn't get any sleep that night. Galen was off on his second mission on that particular day. He was due back from a private location a day ago.

Lily was worried. Auror mission could end up with catastrophic results. Yet most of them were secretive affairs. The auror department would refuse to give her any information. All she could do was wait.

Lily stood and wrapped her arms around her chest. She brushed the cobwebs of sleep off herself as she walked around her room. Lily's eyes flew to her patio. The curtain wasn't capable of being saved; no matter how much Daisy tried to salvage it.

Lily walked over to the door and pulled it open. A warm summer breeze hit her bare legs as she walked outside. Lily rubbed her upper arms and tugged on her shorts. They barely grazed her bum and Lily wasn't that comfortable in them. But Selena had given them and the matching lace, silk camisole to her.

Lily tucked her wand into her hand and closed the door behind her. She yawned and ran a hand through her hair. Lily wrinkled her nose. She still wasn't used to her hair's lack of waviness and the curls towards the bottom.

Lily walked over to the railing and glanced at the flowers. It was close to a full moon, and Lily hadn't done much magic for the entire summer. Surprisingly, her magic didn't leap at the opportunity to be used. It sat languidly inside of her and didn't try to take control.

Lily tapped the petals of a moonflower and watched the petals open. She saw a flash of white and turned to it. Lily looked at this particular flower in shock. She hadn't been the one to plant it there; neither had Daisy. Lily walked over to it and admired the wide and full bloom of the flower.

" Ipomoea," Lily murmured. It was one of the few flowers that preferred to bloom in the night. It was also her mum's middle name. Lily stared at the flower and watched it sway slightly to the breeze. It was rather beautiful in its own way. Lily could smell its sharp and distinct scent.

" Evans? Holy Merlin is that you," a voice questioned. Lily's eyes bolted open and she grabbed her wand. Lily looked up and tensed. She could see the form of Sirius Black sitting in a plastic chair across from her. He was about five feet away from her on his own balcony. He was slouching in his chair with a cigarette in one hand. Lily scowled at him and watched him stand. He leaned against the railing and Lily could see pools of smoke fall from his cigarette.

" Bloody hell what happened to you? I almost didn't recognize you Evans. What's with the hair and tan," Black demanded. Lily felt her heart speed up when she looked at the smoke. She blinked and forced away the thoughts of the fire. Lily looked at the flowers near her and sighed.

" Hullo Black," Lily muttered. Sirius grinned raucously.

" You know your little love struck puppy Wood stopped by a few weeks ago looking for you," Black announced. Lily rubbed her arms and nodded.

" I do," Lily muttered. She tapped one of the flowers and watched it bloom.

" Well where have you been Evans? Not that I care or anything, but Prongs and Worm- I'm mean Jason were pretty beat up over bloody Lily Evans," Black announced. Lily stiffened and frowned. Potter knew who she was and didn't tell anyone yet. Why would he do that?

" I've been out of the country Black," Lily answered with a terse expression. Black snorted.

" That's sort of obvious. No one gets a tan in England," Black chuckled. Lily nodded and bit her lip. She was hoping not to run into anyone from school for the rest of the summer.

" Oi Evans who's the Gryffindor captain? I heard that Wood can't play next year," Black asked. Lily gulped when she remembered Michael's back. She flinched as the bloody burnt mass filled her vision. Lily hissed and closed her eyes. She pushed those thoughts away and forced her heart to resume a normal pace.

When Lily opened her eyes, Black was watching her with a curious stare. Lily straightened her back and turned from him. She could hear his protests but she ignored him. Lily entered her bedroom and closed the door behind her with a bang.

She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall of her bedroom. Lily gritted her teeth and let a scream out as she slid down the wall. She could feel the fire burning her. She was choking.

Lily gasped for air and pulled on her hair. It had grown back unnaturally quickly from its length by her chin. Thanks to Selena's potion, it reached her mid-back in sheets of bloody red hair.

Lily groaned as she saw Benedict Auclair's chaotic grin. She twisted her head back when Michael entered her vision. She could see him writhing in horrific pain. Lily bit her lip and felt blood fall down her face.

Lily didn't know how long she was forced to relive her worst nightmare. But at some point she felt the memories fade away and she fell on the floor. Lily turned her head into the shaggy carpet and moaned. She didn't know why this kept happening; but she intended to find out why.

Lily sat up and brushed the blood away from her chin. She walked to her bathroom with quick breaths and took a shower. Lily slid into a pair of figure-hugging jeans and a tank top. She pulled her hair into a ponytail and wrinkled her nose at its color.

Lily packed a few belongings into her bracelet; she didn't know how long she would be out for. Lily went downstairs and left instructions for Daisy if Galen returned while she was gone. Lily left her house with a grim expression. She could see that the sun had just started to rise.

Lily looked around and took her wand out. She knew one method of transportation that could get her to where she needed to go soon enough. Lily heard a loud screech and looked up. In front of her was a large bus that was painted a dark black. The words, Night Bus, were scrawled across the side of the vehicle.

Lily boarded the bus and told the driver her stop. He sent her to a seat in the middle of the bus and she sat down. Lily leaned her head against the window and watched as the world burred away. She grabbed her armrest as the bus moved suddenly.

Lily's eyes fluttered and she let out a yawn. Even though she was tired, Lily couldn't sleep. She didn't want to face her nightmares right now. Lily reached into her bracelet and pulled out a Potions book from her days at the Athenian School for Sorcery. Lily's wand sat in her pocket as she flipped through the dense textbook.

She smiled at the little notes she left in the margins. Lily's fingers traced her scrawl and she frowned. _Unicorn hair should be shaved, not cut._ Lily remembered her visit to Ollivander's a week or so ago. She looked at her wand and wondered why her grandparents would lie to her.

She knew that the wand was old. It was much older than the wands of her peers in Greece, France, and England. But it had heart to it. Lily adored the wand from the minute she laid her eyes on it. It was in her Grandfather's library and sat on a podium.

Lily had often walked past the wand and felt something inside of her stir. But the day she got her letter from the Athenian School of Sorcery changed her views. She never had a wand before. Lily's curiosity got the better of her and her small eleven-year-old fingers reached for the wand and twirled it. She remembered the feeling of contentment when she first held the wand.

It looked so delicate and well kept. Yet Lily could see age on the wand. She was never able to guess when it was made. Her grandparents found her a few minutes later holding the wand up with a small burst of light illuminating from it. Her grandmum had been furious that she touched it. But her grandfather smiled at her and let her keep the wand.

Ever since that day, Lily kept her wand in top condition. She knew that it worked better for charms work and certain hexes but she never cared. That is until now. Lily frowned at her wand. Griffins were rare and almost extinct due to hunting missions centuries ago. Lily had never seen or met anyone who'd seen one. She knew that Griffins were used to guard treasures.

Lily remembered the entrance to Professor Dumbledore's office. It had a grand statue of a Griffin that rotating into a staircase. Lily wondered if her wand's core was actually made from a Griffin's feather. She bit her lip and wondered whose wand it had been. It must have belonged to someone in the Lilius line since it was in her grandfather's house.

Lily checked the large clock in the front of the bus. It was almost twelve. She knew that her stop was coming up. Lily kept her book inside of her bracelet and stood. She walked to the front of the bus and grabbed one of the railings.

She tried to keep her body still when the bus bolted to a sudden stop. Lily looked outside a nearby window and smiled. She gave the driver her money and left the bus. Lily could feel the sun beat down on her skin as she walked towards her destination.

She asked the driver to drop her off on the outskirts of the forest. Lily followed a path towards her endpoint. She could feel a crunch of soil against her sneakers as she approached the house. Lily smiled at the familiar sight of the light gold house.

She bit her lip and brushed some strands of hair off her face. Lily walked up the large drive and made it to the grand door. Lily debated whether she should knock or just enter the house. Since she was a member of the Gastor family she could open the door to the Manor house. Lily sighed and grabbed the large doorknob. She opened the door and stepped inside.

Lily crossed the large entrance hall and could hear voices coming from the living room. Lily headed over there and stood in the archway of the door. Lily heard a peal of riotous laughter. She could recognize the deep laugh. Lily peered inside and her eyebrows rose at the scene in front of her.

She could see Jason's golden hair thrown back in laughter. Near him was a bottle of butterbeer. Lily could make out one other voice from inside. She cleared her throat and blushed as Jason's eyes bolted up in surprise. His mouth fell slightly as he traced her figure. That surprise quickly left and was replaced with anger. Lily watched him stand and ball his fists.

He looked taller and his hair was freshly cut. She could make out a pair of khaki shorts and a button t-shirt from her view. His eyes were filled with confusion and a layer of anger.

" Lily where were you," Jason demanded. Lily flinched at his tone and noticed someone else in the room. She met the pale blue eyes of Remus Lupin. His face held more scars and Lily paled. The full moon was only four days ago. Lily gulped and looked back at Jason.

" Out of country," Lily murmured. She entered the room and frowned at the fire in the fireplace. Lily shivered and wrapped her arms around her chest. She turned away from the fireplace and faced Jason and Lupin.

" Pericles told me that he saw you in Greece but that you left a few weeks ago," Jason listed. Lily nodded and rubbed her ribs unconsciously. She flinched when she touched the rib that had broken during the explosion.

" I've been in England for about two weeks now," Lily replied. She could feel Jason trace her skin and hair. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. Lily heard a scraping noise and looked up.

" Jason I'll let you guys deal with whatever this is. I think that Padfoot and Prongs wanted to meet up in Diagon Alley later," Lupin suggested. Lily felt guilty for interrupting her brother's summer.

" Sure Moony. I'll meet you guys at Padfoot's house," Jason answered. Lupin shook his hand in goodbye and glanced at Lily with concern.

Lily waited until she heard the door to the house slam shut. She relaxed a bit and leaned against a sofa. She could feel Jason looking at her hair.

" You look like mum," Jason murmured. Lily looked up and watched him curiously.

" That's her hair shade and she always had that gold glow going on," Jason answered. Lily nodded and tugged on a lock of her hair. Jason cleared his throat and motioned for Lily to sit. She didn't.

" Pericles told me that you were in Greece," Jason announced. Lily nodded and frowned.

" What I do isn't any of your business. I'm not here for some Gastor family fun Jason. I wanted to look through some of mum's old stuff," Lily responded briskly. Her brother frowned at her tone.

" Lily you may have renounced yourself from our family but you are a Gastor whether you want to be or not. Mum's stuff are in her and dad's room," Jason answered. Lily ignored his corrective tone and nodded.

" I'll be in there for maybe ten minutes or so," Lily said. Jason nodded and Lily moved out of the room. He followed her up the stairs. Lily saw that some of the bedroom doors were opened. She gulped when she saw that most of the were empty.

" What happened to their stuff," Lily murmured. Jason knew who she was talking about immediately.

" Julius and Lucian's belongings were boxed up and moved up to the attic. Cassius and Pericles took most of their stuff with them," Jason answered. Lily nodded. She looked forward and stared at the grand double doors directly in front of her.

Lily hesitated to open the door. She bit her lip and gathered all of her courage as she turned the gilded doorknob. Jason cleared his throat from behind her.

" I'll be in my room if you need anything," Jason announced. Lily nodded and opened the door. She took a step inside of the room and the lights turned on. Lily's heart froze at the room. Its walls were still the ivory color her mother insisted on. The floor had a thin layer of light blue carpeting. Lily could see her mother's vanity tucked on one side of the room. Large bookshelves coated a wall. Lily walked over to one and let her finger glide along the spine of a book.

A thin layer of dust covered most of the things in the room. Lily looked over at the large bed in the middle of the room. It was a rich mahogany wood with a gold bedspread. Lily could see family heirlooms lining the walls and furniture.

Lily's feet led her to the small sitting room attached to the bedroom. She licked her lips at the sight of the small white balcony adjourning the room. Flowers grew in large bundles on the balcony.

She blinked and looked around the room. The plush sofa was a rich gold and faced a fireplace. Lily glanced at the decorate carvings on the fireplace. She could see a large portrait of her mum and dad on the center of the fireplace. Her mum smiled at her and her dad nodded at her figure. Lily's eyes focused on their figures.

Her mum's hair was the same bloody red that she currently had. It was tossed over her shoulder in soft sheets of red. Lily could see her mum's kind smile with crooked dimples. Jason and Lucian had been the only ones to inherit her mum's dimples. Lily's mum's eyes twinkled with joy and delight. Delphina Gastor wore a light green dress. A hand was wrapped around her shoulder. Lily looked at the owner of the hand with a tense expression.

William Gastor had tousled golden hair. It was curled into elegant twirls similar to the Black family's hairstyle. His hair was shorter though. Only Pericles had been exempt from inheriting his father's curls. Even Jason's shaggy hair curled chaotically. His eyes were a deep gold which all the Gastor boys had inherited. Lily's dad had a rich tan skin that only she had not inherited. Yet, she did inherit his curved grin and the high cheekbones he had. He wrapped his wife to his shoulder in the portrait.

Lily sighed and turned to one of the built-in bookshelves on the side of the fireplace. Unlike most bookshelves, these held pictures of people. Lily frown faltered at the picture of Julius as a toddle. He wore a nightie and was tucked into the crook of their mum's shoulder. Lily's eyes glanced at the family pictures that grew larger over the years.

She noticed the picture of Cassius riding a broom for the first time and the one of Pericles giving Jason a piggyback ride. Lily blinked at the picture of her mum and her in front of the family Quidditch pitch. She didn't realize that her parents had kept pictures of her.

Lily's eyes widened as she noticed pictures of her younger self. There was a picture to her left of Julius holding her when she was just born. Lily blushed at a picture of her and Jason dressed in matching Puddlemere United nighties. Her eyes widened at the picture of her dad working with her younger self-sleeping on his lap. Lily saw a picture of Lucian and Pericles attempting to teach her how to hold a beater's bat. She smiled at the picture of her playing with a small snitch.

Lily wondered why her parents had bothered to keep pictures of her up. They banished her for a reason. Lily sighed and rubbed her eyes. She moved out of the room and into the bedroom. She went over to her mum's vanity. Lily could remember her mum sitting on the soft seat and lightly applying lipstick.

Lily could see rows of makeup and jewelry boxes chaotically arranged on the vanity. Her hands yearned to straighten them out but she didn't. Lily's fingers grazed a bottle of perfume that her mum always wore. She inhaled the scent of orchids and kept the bottle down. Lily looked up and saw a paper wedged into the mirror of the vanity. She tugged it out and gasped.

It was a picture of her mum, but it could have been herself. Lily's mum stood on a beach next to a willowy blue-eyed woman. Lily mind screamed a name at her. It was Apolline Kingsmill. The two girls stood in front of a large bonfire. They looked about Lily's age. Lily's mum was the same height and had the same build that she had. Lily watched as her mum and Mrs. Kingsmill laughed at the camera and grinned.

She knew that this picture was taken in Greece. England didn't have beaches like the one in that picture. Lily blinked away a tear and turned the picture over. She could see a set of words scrawled on the back of the picture. _Dellie aka my favorite Pomegranate and Apo the soon to be internationally famous pianist! – JG_

Lily wondered who JG was. The handwriting looked distinctively male. Lily tucked the photo into her pocket and turned. She could see her mum's closet from her. Her mum had forbid her and her brothers from opening that closet. Lily bit her lip and walked over to it. She grabbed the doorknob and pulled it open.

Clothing lined the floor and the walls of the closet. Lily could see shoes thrown everywhere. Scarves and sunglasses patterned the floor. She moved inside of the large closet and looked around. It was a normal closet, a bit messy though.

Lily moved further inside and saw a small cabinet. She opened one of the drawers and her eyes glanced at the feminine products inside. Lily carelessly brushed a bottle of cramp relief potion and it moved. Lily watched as the cabinet moved to the side. The clothing and boxes around it moved and Lily saw a door appear before her.

There wasn't a doorknob though. Lily moved towards the door and ran her hands along the wood. She could see a lily carved into the wood. Lily smiled; her mum always preferred verbal passwords.

Lily tried all of her brothers' names and her own. She tried every relative and place her mum ever met or went to. Lily frowned ten minutes later. The door was still closed. She racked her mind for ideas. One popped into her head but it was risky.

" Pomegranate," Lily announced. She recalled the nickname written on the back of the picture. The door opened with a small thud. Behind it was a room. Lily entered it and pulled her wand out.

" Lumos," she whispered. Light filled the area and Lily gasped. The room was the size of a small closet. Lily could see dust swirling in the air. There were no windows and it was pitch black, excluding her light source. Lily could see a small desk crammed in a corner. It was covered in notes and broken quills. Lily looked around. There were stacks of books piled high near a wall. Lily brushed some dust from one book._How to fight the Imperius Curse._

Lily frowned at the title. Why would her mother need to know how to fight the Imperius Curse? She moved and bumped into a large box. Lily rubbed her ankle and bent down. She pulled on the latch of the box and opened it. Lily's eyes widened at the thousands of vials inside. Labels decorated the lids to the vials. _Polyjuice Potion, Veristaserum, Draught of the Living Dead._

Why did her mum own so many potions? Lily moved her hands down and felt her finger brush something. A compartment shot out of the box. Lily could see potions ingredients stuffed to the brim inside of it. She pushed it back and closed the box.

Lily stood and brushed dust from her pants. She moved her wand and saw a cauldron nearby. Her mum must have used it to make potions, Lily decided. She moved towards the desk and leaned over it. Lily picked up one of the pieces of parchment. _The Cruciatus Curse. Using pleasure? Maybe an extreme pain relief potion could work. Further research must be conducted._

Lily frowned. Her mum worked as an ambassador for the Ministry. Why would she have a room like this?

Lily bit her lips and leaned over the desk. She saw a flash of a symbol and looked up. Lily pointed her wand at the ceiling and gaped. A huge red phoenix adorned the ceiling with spread wings.

Lily's mum had always loved painting. Yet she was too modest to show most people her work. Lily recalled her mum painting portraits of herself and her brothers but never showing them to her. Lily could see her mum's hidden tastes in the phoenix on the ceiling. The curve of its wings, the graceful arch of its neck screamed Delphina Gastor.

Lily's mind burst in realization. The secrecy, the notes, the books, and the phoenix all formed a puzzle and Lily had just pieced the pieces together. This was where her mum worked for the Order of the Phoenix. Her mum was up to something before she died and Lily intended to find out what.

Lily looked down. Lily could make out a small shelf hidden in the shadows. She leaned up and her fingers grazed the shelf. Dust coated her fingers as she groped the wood. Lily felt something.

She bit her lips and moved her hand slightly. She grabbed the object and pulled it down. Lily brushed dust layers off it and saw that it was a notebook. The cover was a deep black. The pages looked ancient and frayed. It smelled like her mum's perfume.

" Lily where are you," Jason shouted. Lily's heart pounded with fear. Her brother was a death eater. But he also had a fragile heart. Lily knew that their parents and brothers' deaths had slowly broken his heart. She didn't want to think about how he would react to their mum's involvement in the Order.

Lily stuffed the notebook inside of her bracelet. She quickly fled the room and shoved the door to a close. Lily watched as the boxes and cabinets previously in front of the door leapt up to it and covered the door.

Lily brushed the dust from her clothing just as Jason entered the closet. He looked at her curiously. Lily could see that he had grabbed a traveling cloak.

" What are you doing in here," Jason asked. Lily cleared her throat and grabbed one of her mum's dresses.

" Oh I just wanted to look through mum's clothing. I think I'm the same size as her. If it's okay with you I wanted to take this dress," Lily answered. Jason crossed his arms and grinned.

" I knew that seeing mum and dad's room would put a sense of family in you! I've got to go to London and meet my friends. We're going to Diagon Alley. You can make yourself at home," Jason said with a smile. Lily felt sadness engulf her; Jason thought that she was returning to their childhood home, but she wasn't.

" Jace I'm not staying. I came here to look at mum's old stuff not to stay with you. I'm heading back to my house in London," Lily announced. She saw a flicker of pain in her brother's eyes. It was quickly replaced with a cold expression.

" Oh do you need a ride to London," Jason asked. Lily could see open sadness in his eyes. She wanted to stay for him, but she couldn't. Lily didn't belong in this house anymore.

" Yeah if that's fine with you," Lily said. Jason nodded and led her out of their parents' room. The door closed behind them with a loud thud. Lily followed him out of the large and lonely Manor. She held his hand when they reached the large drive circled the front of the house and he apparated with a pop.

Lily opened her eyes and saw that they were in front of Grimmauld Place. She frowned and looked at Jason.

" When did you get an apparition license," Lily asked. Her brother turned to her and smirked.

" I turned seventeen in June. You didn't give me a present," Jason teased Lily blushed when she realized that Jason's birthday had passed.

" You didn't give me one either," Lily said drily. She turned from her brother and walked towards her house. She heard him call her name and faced him.

" Sorry but Lucian told me about mum and dad' s letters. Did you open them," Jason pressed. Lily gulped and remembered the letters. She could see her father's almost disappointed handwriting in her mind.

" That's none of your business," Lily said tersely. She turned from her brother and entered her house. It was empty; Galen wasn't back. That night Lily didn't sleep. She went to her piano and played until she fell into a fitful sleep against the keys.

An owl's hoot interrupted Lily's reading. She looked up from her book and saw a large barn owl sitting on the edge of her balcony. Lily stared at it curiously. She bookmarked her page and closed her book. Lily pushed the chair of her desk in and brushed dirt from her shorts. She adjusted the strap of her tank top and moved towards the door to her balcony. Lily opened it and shivered. It was an unusually cold summer morning.

Lily felt goose bumps form on her arms and ignored them. She saw that the owl had left a large envelope on the table. She saw it fly away out of the corner of her eye. Lily turned to the envelope and froze when she saw the large Hogwarts emblem on it.

She had two weeks until school started again. Yet Lily was dreading it. Galen Kingsmill and the other aurors on his mission had been declared missing. Lily spent her days filled with dread. She couldn't sleep anymore. Lily didn't want to go to school without knowing if Galen was okay.

She sat on the hanging chair and grabbed the envelope. It was heavy. Lily sliced it open and pulled a letter out. She could see the word OWL written across the top. Lily felt excitement and fear fill her.

She was excited to see her scores yet Lily was scared. Her memories of her OWLS had faded over time. She knew that she had been worried about Transfiguration and History of Magic. Lily felt a pang of nostalgia. She remembered the Gryffindors studying together before the OWLS. She could never do that again. Lily didn't want to feel more pain when she was pulled away from them; Michael was right; she hurt too many people.

Lily sighed and tucked the envelope into her pocket. She held the letter in front of her face and read its contents.

HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY

ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL RESULTS

Pass Grades Fail Grades

Outstanding (O) Poor (P)

Exceeds Expectations (E) Dreadful (D)

Acceptable (A) Troll (T)

LILY MARIE EVANS HAS ACHIEVED:

Astronomy: O

Care of Magical Creatures: O

Charms: O

Defense Against the Dark Arts: O

Divination: E

Herbalogy: O

History of Magic: E

Potions: O

Transfiguration: E

HEADMASTER ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

Lily traced her results with a grin. She was able to be an auror. Lily let out a whoop of joy and placed the letter on the table. She found another letter with a list of materials needed for the next school year and pocketed it. Lily picked up the envelope and letters and stood. She frowned when she noticed how heavy the envelop was. Lily reached inside and pulled out a Prefect's badge.

But there was something inside of it. Lily dropped her letters and badge on the table and reached for something. It pricked her and she pulled it out. Lily found another letter inside and read it with dread. She looked at the badge and saw a large C on it.

Lily was the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain for the next school year. She bit her lip and shoved everything back into the envelope. Lily was going to have too much on her plate next year.

Lily went inside and found a familiar person standing in the doorway to her room. His body looked worn and she could make out a new scar on his arm. He held a basket of pomegranates in his hand and stared at Lily with a rueful grin. Lily dropped her envelope and let out a sob. He was safe. He was safe. He grinned at her and she watched him.

" Hey Rose look what I got," he announced pointing to the basket. Lily smiled through her tears and blinked them away. She ran up to him and they pulled each other into a tight embrace.

" Gale oh merlin I was so worried," Lily whispered into his shoulder. Galen nodded into her shoulder and held her.

" I'm fine Rose. I'm here," Galen answered. Lily pulled herself out of his embrace and faced him. His eyes were crinkled into a smile and he watched her.

" There was some suspicion that Voldemort was using inferi. My team was sent to Wales to check it out. It turns out that he had a bloody army of inferi sitting in some cave up north. We got hold of some fiendfyre and set the whole place to flames. That's when the Death Eaters arrived. About ten of them were guarding the site. Only we didn't know that. My partner, Sam Dearborn and Jake Weston were killed on site. Lucretia Sprout and I managed to apparate away after they disarmed us. But we splinched and ended up in some muggle forest. Spent at least a week trying to get out of it. Lucretia couldn't apparate since she splinched half of her leg off and I still haven't gotten my apparition license for England. So side-along was out of the question. After a week of limping through the woods we found some muggle town and this squib helped us get to the Ministry. They kept us there for another week," Galen explained.

Something about his story bothered Lily. She stood next to him with a slight frown and her eyes sparkled with amusement.

" So you're telling me that two highly capable aurors stumbled around some muggle forest for a week since they didn't have access to their wands," Lily mused. Galen looked at her with an incredulous stare. Lily burst into laughter as he tried to explain that it was worse than just not having magic.

But Lily didn't care that Galen was just a magic abuser. She was just happy that he was alive and healthy. Lily spoke with him for another thirty minutes and leaned her head against his chest. She could hear his heart beating, and that's all that mattered to her.

Lily sat in the Leaky Cauldron with Galen. A haze of alcohol and excitement surrounded the patrons of the pub. It was August 31st, the next day she was to head off to school and he had another auror mission.

She spent the last two weeks in a bubble of joy. Her relief that Galen was alive managed to block out her concern for her friends and her nightmares. Death Eaters activity was at a low so Galen had time off.

Lily went with him to the funerals of the dead aurors. She supported him throughout the entire affair. The Daily Profit had dubbed the aurors who attending the funeral as national heroes. It turns out that those inferi were going to be sent out the next day to create a widespread homicide in Liverpool.

Lily learned that Lucretia had a full recovery but she still never met the woman. Galen described her as a bucket of too much optimism. Galen and Lucretia had been made partners after both of theirs had died.

Lily and Galen sent the week after the funerals traveling. They went down to Bournemouth to see the beach, which Galen detested. Lily agreed. Beaches in England were masses of gray sand and gray water. The pair left Bournemouth within three days and traveled the muggle way back to London. They had an amazing road trip; excluding an incident when a bird left a white, sticky gift on top of Lily's head.

After that, they attended the Wired Sister concert that Lily and her friends were supposed to go to. Lily was reluctant to go since she didn't want to run into anyone from school. But Galen had forced her to go and use some of that famous Gryffindor spunk. They had a grand time at the concert.

After the concert, Lily had taken Galen around London and showed him some of the famous muggle attractions. He thought that they had nothing on Athens though. Soon Lily was forced to address her school supply issue.

Galen didn't support her avoid anyone she knew initiative so he dragged her to Diagon Alley in the dead of the day. Lily appreciated his faith in her. He tagged along and they spent a day in Diagon Alley shopping. Lily managed to buy everything she needed for the next school year by the end of the day.

After that, August seemed to slowly inch towards its end. Lily woke up every morning filled with dread; she didn't want to go back to school yet. But Galen decided that she needed to stop being so fearful. He made her go apartment hunting with her. They managed to find a roomy apartment near Grimmauld Place for Galen.

Lily helped him move in and furniture. They spent a day painting the walls, but that ended with both of them being covered in eggshell paint. He promised to stay with her until she left for school; to Lily's immense relief.

The day before September 1st Lily woke with dread. She had 24 hours before she had to face her friends and foes. She had 24 hours before everything changed. Galen decided to ignore the sense of foreboding that both of them share. He spent the day with her flying around London, with disillusionment charms, reading, and practicing the piano.

When they reached the townhouse in the evening after a flight around London, he made her change into a short, low-cut blue dress that Selena had bought for her in Greece. Then he took her to the Leaky Cauldron and they joined the regular patrons in a salute to the end of summer.

Lily laughed at a joke a young witch made and glanced at her watch. She made Galen promise that they would leave before twelve. It was almost twelve. Lily sighed; she didn't want to leave this summer behind. She didn't want to leave Galen. He was like a dream catcher. When Lily was around him she didn't have any more nightmares or visions. She was happy.

He was like her personal sun. He cleared the clouds of her nightmares and darkness and showed her the brightness of the world. Lily didn't know how she was going to survive without him.

Lily walked around a pair of men and saw Galen. He was sitting by the radio turning the knobs while speaking to an auror. Lily carried her bottle of butterbeer and a cup of firewhiskey to him. His sky-blue eyes twinkled with joy when he saw her.

A song came on the radio and he let it stay. Lily held the firewhiskey out to him and he grinned. He grabbed her bottle and his cup and kept them down. Galen took Lily's hand and led her over to the makeshift dance floor. Young couples danced there and the air was filled with joy.

Galen spun her to him and Lily laughed. She twirled in his arms and the two danced. He grinned at her and Lily smiled up at him. She needed a friend and he was ready to be her friend. Lily didn't care about her betrothal or the fears in her life; she had a friend who wouldn't be in risk of danger because of her or betray her.

" I see that those dancing lessons paid off Rose," Galen teased. Lily blushed remembering her days of clumsy feet in Greece.

"Gale I'm pretty sure that you stepped on my feet at least twice," Lily answered with a wry grin. He laughed and pulled her in. Their bodies leaped and spun into the air with joy.

Lily may have not known it but she saved him the same way he saved her. Galen Kingsmill's life had been a dreary hole of desolation in Greece. Before Lily came for the summer he was trapped in a world of sadness. After his mum's diagnosis was declared fatal, Galen started to inch away from his family. He broke up with his girlfriend and strayed from his friends. He turned to work for solace, but didn't find any there. His work was dark and horrible stuff.

He was falling apart. Galen Kingsmill didn't want to sit around doing nothing and letting people suffer. When Lily came into his life he could see the sun again. The clouds and thunderstorms blocking his view disappeared, thanks to a certain redhead.

She pieced him back together and saved him. When his mum died, Galen had Lily to keep the rain off him. She was his anchor to reality and he would never forget that. After she returned to England, Galen learned about the Greek movement to support the English in the war against Voldemort. He jumped at the opportunity to do something directly to assist the war front and left for England only hours after Lily.

Being with Lily kept him sane. His world was sunny and he was content. Lily was his closest friend, she was his sun, and he was hers. The two of them were lost wanderers who needed a pathway to freedom. They were each other's paths.

" Gale," Lily murmured. He looked down at her with a curious face. The song was a slow song and Lily tucked herself into his chest. She could feel his heart and he could feel his.

" Rose," Galen said with a light grin. Lily smiled and felt her heart pound against his. Their heartbeats were slightly off. His was always a few beats faster than hers.

" I'm going to miss you," Lily said. Galen couldn't help but agree with his friend.

" I'm going to miss you," Galen answered. As the clock ticked down to midnight, the two friends knew that they were going to fall apart without each other. But their lives were not constantly overlapping lines. Their lives were twirling swirling messes of arcs and loops. Only a few times would they intersect, and that was enough for the both of them.

As the clock hit midnight, Lily knew that her summer was over, and with it was the freedom and happiness it held. She was back in her gold cage. She was trapped.

* * *

**Chapter 9 took me a bit of time to write. I had to understand who Galen Kingsmill would be. His name takes a bit of symbolism, Galen means healer in Greek. Galen heals Lily's broken heart and fear. But he is a medicine that only works in close proximity.**

**Chapter 10 will deal with Lily's life in Hogwarts. She will struggle with her relationships with pretty much every person she currently attends school with. I'm planning on introducing at least two more ocs in the next chapter. I think that the next chapter is going to be a bit angsty. The war is taking over every student and teacher's lives for the worse.**

**R&amp;R**

**\- Rin**


	10. Far from the Marauding Crowd

**Chapter 10 Far from the Marauding Crowd**

**( Le Freak )**

* * *

A note about what transpired on September 1st 1976 if Sirius Black hadn't lit Cooper Sheldon on fire during the first feast of the year then Lily Evans wouldn't be standing on the steps to the Potter Manor almost a year later with a large cut adorning her arm. If she hadn't gone to the Potter Manor and chosen James that night then Lily would have probably ended up dead in less than an hour.

It all came down to one decision that night. If Lily had chosen to stay in that battle then she would have been hit by Bellatrix Lestrange's killing curse. After that James Potter would have killed Bellatrix Lestrange and commit suicide that very night. Lily and James' deaths would have led to the failure of Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black's relationship.

Marlene would go back to Fabian Prewitt and Sirius Black would have killed her and Fabian soon after. Aurors would have caught Sirius Black later that night and sentenced him to Azkaban for the rest of his life. But before he could ever get to Azkaban, Gideon Prewitt would have killed him in sadistic revenge. Remus Lupin would have hunted Gideon Prewitt and killed him within a month. Michael Wood would then kill Remus a few weeks later.

After that Adam McKinnon and Frank Longbottom would go on an Order mission that Lily Evans and Michael Wood should have gone on and died at the hands of Jason Gastor and Lucius Malfoy. Alice Prewitt would have died on an auror mission with Michael Wood the following week.

Emmeline Vance, well she would have moved out of country only to be killed by a rogue werewolf a few months later in France. Jason Gastor would live his life in a stupor of drunkenness before finally burning the Gastor Manor down with him inside on the one-year anniversary of his sister's death.

So many lives could have died. But they didn't. Those people, well some of them, would go onto to live until their time came. Lily had fate to thank for that.

But fate was luckily on all of their sides on September 1st 1976. If fate hadn't made Sirius Black decide to light muggleborn Cooper Sheldon's pants on fire during the sorting ceremony then everybody Lily ever loved would have died before she realized that she loved most of them.

Lily was a really lucky girl. She had a lot of people to thank for that. But on the first day of her 6th year Lily wasn't feeling so lucky.

* * *

Lily had just woken up. She felt a heavy arm plastered across her chest and groaned into her pillow. Wait that wasn't her pillow. Lily shot up and looked around. She could hear someone snoring softly next to her and looked over. Galen Kingsmill's limp body draped across the bed. Lily saw that she was in the guest bedroom of her house, the one where Galen was staying.

She sighed with relief when her clothing was slightly messy, but on. Lily was a virgin and she wasn't planning on losing her virginity in some drunken stupor. She laughed at this; Lily hadn't even touched a single drop of alcohol the previous night.

She moved from under Galen and tiptoed to her room. Lily checked the time and saw that she had three hours until the train left from King's Cross Station. Lily quickly showered and dried her hair. She slipped into a light green sundress and looked in her mirror.

She was different. Lily's golden glow and hair were still the same. Yet she had changed. The joy and happiness of the summer illuminated her. Lily smiled when she saw that there weren't any bags under her eyes. Yet there was a haunting gaze in her eyes. Her life was numbered, it was going to end the day James Potter turned seventeen. She was trapped.

Lily sighed and tossed her hair over her shoulder. She used several packing spells that she learned over her years of moving across the continent. Lily finished packing all of her belongings into her charmed bracelet within an hour. She sent Hestia to Hogwarts and stuffed her broom into one of the charms hanging on her bracelet.

Lily surveyed her room. It looked empty despite being almost filled with books and clothing. It was accepting the end of the summer much sooner that she could. Lily looked towards the piano. She sat on the cool bench and let her fingers guide her mind through a farewell to the summer.

Lily blinked when the song ended. She heard loud clapping and looked up. Galen grinned at her from the doorway. He held a suitcase, that Lily assumed was filled with the belongings he left her. Lily smiled at him and stood.

" Let's go," He announced. Lily nodded and closed the door to her bedroom behind her. The two ate a quite breakfast. But the silence was welcome; neither of them wanted the summer to end. After Lily gave a strict set of instructions to Daisy the house elf, the pair left the townhouse. Lily closed the door behind her and grabbed Galen's hand.

She felt the tugging sensation of apparition and let it come over her. Lily's feet stumbled when she landed on the ground. She looked up and saw that they had landed outside of the entrance to King's Cross Station. Lily let Galen tug her inside and lead her to the barrier and entrance to Platform 9 and ¾. She curled her fingers around his.

" Together," she whispered. There was a touch of concern and fear in her voice. But Galen's small smile cleared her mind of fear.

" Together," he answered. Lily smiled and ran into the wall with her hands curled around Galen's. She closed her eyes and heard a train whistle. Lily opened them and saw that they were standing on the platform to the Hogwarts Express. She could see the glossy paint of the train. Lily could see students she knew and ones she didn't. Lily ducked behind Galen when she saw Mulciber and Yaxley.

She and Galen walked to the middle of the platform. She turned and faced him at the same time as he did. Lily looked into his sky-blue eyes and saw a gleam of sorrow in them. She wrapped her arms around Galen's neck and he pulled her close. Their hearts beat in a pattern, but not in sync.

" Rose be careful make sure you eat your vegetables," Galen said in a serious voice. Lily knew he was joking, but that didn't keep her eyes from tearing up. Galen looks at her in a panic.

" I'm kidding Rosie! You can eat all the chocolate and pomegranates you want," Galen exclaimed. Lily laughed and blinked her tears away.

" I'm not sad you lovable oaf. I'm just going to miss you a hell of a lot Gale," Lily answered. Galen tucked a strand of her hair behind her neck.

" I'll miss you more. Don't worry Rose I'll write to you the minute I get back from this mission," Galen assured. Lily tugged on the button of his shirt.

" Last time you went on a mission you almost died," Lily murmured.

" If it makes you feel better I'll bring a compass this time. Rose don't worry I got my apparition license last week. I'm not going to stumble around in the woods anymore," Galen assured. Lily looked up and could see the care and honesty in his eyes. She sighed and pulled him into a tight hug. She heard the train whistle; they only had ten minutes left.

" You better not die. Cause if you do I'll come up to heaven to curse your hair off," Lily threatened. She could hear the vibrations of Galen's laugh. She looked up and stared into his eyes. He was her sun; he kept her from being stuck in the dark. He gave her the light she needed to survive.

Lily leaned up and caught his lips in a kiss. He put almost as much passion as she did into it. It was like kissing the sea and freedom all in one. Lily decided that Galen Kingsmill was really her closet and best friend. He kissed her back and she tasted like sunshine and freedom.

But neither of them knew that as they pulled apart from the kiss, two people's hearts broke. James Potter stood ten feet to Lily's left and watched the love of his life kiss a man in gold auror robes. Michael Wood stood ten feet to Lily's right and clenched his fists as the girl who broke his heart kissed a complete stranger.

When Lily broke away from Galen's lips he grinned down at her and she grinned up at him. The two burst into loud laughter that caught attention of most of the people on the platform.

" Rose you're a hell of a snog. Friends," Galen proposed. Lily grinned and hugged him one last time.

" Of course we're friends. But I've been wondering all summer what it's like to kiss you. You're a pretty good snog Gale," Lily teased. Galen grinned at her as she moved out of his hold reluctantly. They were friends and nothing more. Sometimes a friendship is just fate.

" Stay safe Rose," Galen finished. Lily nodded at him and turned to the train. She weaved in between teary families and students. Lily turned her head every few seconds to make sure that he was still there. Galen never left. Lily blinked and wrapped her arms around her chest as she boarded the train. She didn't look back even though she wanted to. Lily didn't need to look back, Galen smiled at her retreating figure and apparated from the platform with a pop.

Lily navigated through the narrow hallways when the train moved with a lurch She made her way to the Prefect's compartment at the front of the train. She could see some familiar faces. Most people didn't seem to recognize her. They stared at her in confusion. Lily slipped in between Amos Diggory and Melissa Stevies. She entered the Prefect compartment and saw that the prefects were sitting in groups regarding their houses around a large table. People were still coming in, but Lily could clearly see Frank Longbottom and Alice Prewitt in the front of the room.

Alice's hair was cut harshly around her chin. She rubbed her arm and Lily could see a bandage coating it from a distance. Frank's hair was cropped short and he limped. Lily gulped when she saw the shadows under their eyes and the taut condition of their skin.

She felt someone shove her and she fell forward. Lily braced herself for the ungraceful fall, which never came. Someone grabbed her and shoved her upright harshly. Lily looked up and jumped back. Michael Wood was watching her with morose eyes. They quickly became cold and he turned from her.

" Try not to be such a walking catastrophe Evans," Michael announced loudly. Silence filled the Prefect compartment as the prefects turned to the two Gryffindors. Every single one of them heard about the kidnapping that Michael and Lily underwent. Most of them had made bets to see when they would start dating. Michael's harsh tone surprised all of them.

Green eyes stare into brown ones. Memories of agony and torture gleamed in both. But nether of the owners were aware of this. The green eyes blinked slowly. Their owner's lungs were struggling for a breath. As Lily closed her eyes she saw Michael's mangled body. Bloody and open wounds covered his chest.

Lily drew in a sharp breath and swayed. Her fists clenched shut for a millisecond and the crowd of prefects watched the pair. Michael's eye lit up with concern, which faded when Lily opened hers and walked pass him. The pain and horrible memories she could feel were pushed away.

Lily sat in one of the few empty seats towards the back. Michael glanced at her before heading to his seat in the front next to Emmeline and Adam. Lily realized that they must have replaced Frank and Alice as the Gryffindor prefects. People glanced back and forward from Lily and Michael. Lily listened to Frank and Alice start speaking. But their voices faded.

It made sense for Michael to be prefect. He was the only male 6th year Gryffindor left at Hogwarts; there was no other option. Lily dreaded the idea of patrols with him. She looked around the table. Most of the seventh and sixth years were familiar to her. She recognized the 5th year Gryffindors but none of the others. Lily looked for a head of golden hair and was met with nothing. She bit her lip just as the door slammed open.

All of the prefects turned to the door. Remus Lupin stood in the doorway with his shirt askew. A fresh bandage coated his arm and Lily winced at his pale expression.

" Lupin this is a prefect meeting, not some marauder galore. I would appreciate if you could get your friend Gastor to show up," Frank announced with a solemn expression. Whispers broke around the table at the mention of the Gastor family. Students wondered what the perfect golden boy Cassius Gastor must have done to not be headboy. They wondered where Jason Gastor was. Remus gulped and tugged at the neckline of his shirt.

" That's the thing though, Jason isn't a prefect anymore, he handed his badge to the headmaster at the end of last year. I'm the Slytherin 6th year prefect," Lupin explained. Gasps and loud shouts broke over the table. People screamed and demanded to know what happened. Lupin shrugged.

" His brother transferred schools and he wasn't up to being a prefect this year. Give him a break; half of his family died in the last year," Lupin exclaimed. Silence filled the room; the students almost forgot about their old headboy's tragic death.

" Lupin take a seat you've interrupted this meeting enough," Alice supplied. Remus nodded and looked around the table for a free seat. Lily paled; the only free seat was the one next to her. She tensed as Lupin sat next to her. Lily closed her yes and heard the screams of children and the howl of a werewolf.

" Oi Evans! The headgirl asked you a question," a voice sneered. Lily's eyes bolted open and she looked up. A blush crawled up her skin as she saw that most of the table was watching her. She could hear the laughter of Melissa Stevies and Gemma Runcorn.

" I'm sorry could you repeat that," Lily asked. Alice watched her with hawk eyes and cleared her throat.

" We need two volunteers to do an extra patrol route do to new safety precautions does anyone want to," Alice asked with a grim expression. Lily raised her hand at the same time that Michael did. Their hands shot down when they realized that no one else wanted to do the patrol. Alice glanced at them with concern.

" Michael and Lily then," Alice said feverously. Lily opened her mouth to object but Michael leapt up before she could.

" No I can't patrol with her," Michael shouted. Lily blushed and eyes looked at her in curiosity. Lily looked down; she didn't know that Michael was really that hurt. Luckily for her someone else stood.

" It's okay Wood, I'll take the patrol with Evans," Lupin said. Lily paled and looked up. Remus was standing and facing Michael with a grim expression. Michael sneered at him.

" Isn't it too disgusting for you to interact with a muggleborn," Michael jeered. Lily choked back a gasp and heard whispers break across the room. Lupin glared at Michael.

" Not if it's for a fellow marauder. I'll take the extra patrol with Evans then," Lupin suggested. Frank frowned and looked towards Lily.

" Is that okay with you," he asked. Lily nodded and stared at him.

" Anything is better than Michael," Lily pleaded. She winced when she realized what she said. Lily heard a thud and looked up. Michael's eyes stared into hers. He gulped and clenched his fists.

" That's not what I meant," Lily objected. Michael's eyes flashed with anger. Lily could see his muscles protesting against the bandages around his chest.

" I think it is Evans," Michael scoffed. He stood and left the room with a loud slam. The prefects broke into gossip, which Alice and Frank soon quelled. After the completion of the meeting, Lily left the compartment before the other Gryffindors could corner her.

Loud laughter and joyful voices surrounded Lily. Her feet carried her to the back of the train. Lily ducked her head when she entered Slytherin territory. She could hear obnoxious giggling and ignored it. Lily clenched her fists and ducked her head. Fumes of alcohol and smoke entered her. Lily ignored them and moved to the end of the compartment. She breathed with relief when she was in the last train car.

Her feet carried her to the door and she pulled it open. Lily stood on the small outdoor area of the train. She could hear the wheels grind against the metal of the rails. Lily let the door shut and leaned against it.

She closed her eyes and slid to the ground of the compartment. Lily was too weak; she couldn't go through with her plan. It was so painful to push her friends away. Lily shivered when memories that she shoved away returned.

She could remember the last time she stood on this ground. Lily's eyes bolted up and automatically looked for ashes of the letter from her mum. She could remember her mum's handwriting and the words clearly, but Lily wished that she kept the letter. She missed her mum. Lily hadn't craved the sound of her mum's voice in over six years. A gust of warm summer air hit her. The bracelet she wore slapped against her thin wrist.

She failed. Delphina Gastor gave up her sole daughter so she could have a future. Lily remembered the vision she had of her mum. She should have listened to her, she should have left before she ever got those letters. Lily should have never come to England.

But there was nothing she could do. Lily was forced to live with her actions. She was tricked into a cage. She had seven months until the door shut. Lily planned to do everything in her power to escape it.

She looked around the train. Life went on. Birds flew overhead and the sun continued to shine. Life wouldn't stop because of her own tragedies. Lily knew that. She would live with the consequences of her actions. Lily didn't smile. She watched the sun and the sky for hours.

Lily could see darkness encroaching on the world. She watched the sun fade into a corner of the sky. It was dusk; a time for closure. Lily could see the atmosphere shift to the Scottish surroundings. They were close to the castle. Lily looked down at her sundress and cursed. She forgot to change!

Her feet carried her inside. Lily noticed that the hallway of the last train car was empty. She found an empty compartment and locked the door. After closing the curtain to the door's window, Lily grabbed a fresh uniform from her bracelet. She slipped into the socks and skirt. Her body was encased in the button down shirt and a gold and red scarf wrapped her neck. Lily's feet were covered by socks, which reached her mid-thigh and a pair of shiny Mary Jane shoes. Lily left her hair down and sealed the prefect's badge to her shirt. Lily brushed her hair quickly and felt the train stop. She grabbed her wand and tripped on something.

Her body fell to the floor and Lily squealed. She felt her arm hit something. A groan escaped her mouth and she pulled herself up; only to cut her hand on the sharp object that she landed on. Lily stood and felt pain jolt through her right arm and hand. She groaned and looked down. Lily's eyes enlarged at the sight of the bloody knife at the bottom of the train compartment. How did she miss it? She picked it up by the hilt and wiped the blood off. Her blood smeared with the dried blood on the blade. A coat of arms was on the knife. Lily tried to see it, but her blood and the dried blood blocked her view.

Lily heard the train whistle and cursed. Her arms were coated with blood, but she didn't have time to heal them. Lily grabbed the bloody, smeared knife and tapped her bracelet with her wand. She grabbed an old shirt from it and wrapped the knife inside the shirt. Lily tucked the wrapped knife into her bracelet and grabbed her wand from a bench.

She heard the train whistle twice. Lily opened the door and bolted out the door. She jumped on the platform just as the train started off to London. Lily could see carriages heading up the pathway to Hogwarts. She held her wand in her blood stained hands and sprinted to the carriages. Only one remained and the door was starting to close.

" Wait," Lily shouted. She ran to the carriage and yanked the door open. The inhabitants of the compartment stared at her as she slid into the last available seat. The door shut behind her and Lily felt the carriage move.

" Lily what happened to you," a voice asked. Lily looked up and met the gold eyes of her brother. She was hoping not to see him. Her eyes noticed the other members of the carriage. It was a bloody Marauders' Reunion. Black sat next to Lupin drinking a bottle that looked suspiciously like firewhiskey. Lupin was covered in scars. Next to Jason was the owner of a pair of hazel eyes.

Lily gulped as she met the eyes of James Potter. Gold and green swirls spiraled into a hazel center. Lily licked her lips and looked at Potter. He looked bigger, if possible all of the Marauders did. His hair was still a chaotic mess and he wore his square glasses. But something was different about him. He had a dark aurora around him. His tan skin looked almost pale as he looked at Lily. His eyes were wide as he stared at her blood-covered arms.

Lily blushed and rubbed the thick cut on her arm. She smeared the blood and it fell onto her white shirt in a crimson droplet. Lily bit her lip and looked up to Jason.

" I err I tripped," Lily mumbled. She felt someone move next to her and looked up. Jason grabbed her left arm and tsked. He muttered a spell and the blood disappeared. Lily could see the jagged cut twist around her arm.

" I don't think you can rip open your arm from tripping," Jason answered. Lily bit her lip and looked down. Her hair fell around her in a curtain.

" Oi Prongs come here you've always been better at healing spells than me," Jason announced. Lily looked up and her cherry-red blush was clear for the entire world to see. Her eyes turned to Potter and he looked at her with thinly veiled concern. Lily glanced at Black and Lupin. Black was asleep against Lupin and Lupin was engrossed in a thick book.

She felt Jason shift to her other side and watched as Potter kneeled in front of her. His Adam's apple bobbed, as he looked straight into her eyes. His hand reached for her left arm and she let him take it. While he curled his large and tan hands curled around her pale ones Jason took her right hand and cleaned the blood from it.

Lily noted that her skin was pale. She seemed to have lost that golden glow she worked so hard for during the summer. Yet it was only temporary. Lily thought that her blood loss may have been a factor in that. Jason's fingers traced patterns into the palm of her hand as Potter analyzed her arm.

A whimper of pain escaped her as Potter prodded his wand to her wound. Immediately his eyes looked up. Lily could see torment in them. She wondered what caused that. Lily looked down and hid her blush. She heard Jason clear his throat.

" Prongs I'll be over there with Moony," Jason announced. Lily felt him move her hand to her side. Her cut was bleeding slowly. Potter barely noticed him. A shiver broke out on Lily's neck as Potter moved closer to her. He stood directly between her legs and caressed her arm carefully.

Lily heard him murmur something. She sucked in a breath as his wand sent a spell at her arm. The cut started to heal. Within seconds the large, gaping whole was gone and replaced by a thin pink line. Lily knew that within minutes that line would fade to nothing. Her skin would be blemish free once again.

Potter lifted her left arm and let it rested on her side. He reached for her right hand and tugged her fingers from a clenching formation. He choked back a gasp that Lily barely heard. She watched him clean the fresh blood from her hand. His fingers rubbed her hand soothingly as his wand poked the cut.

His mouth opened and a husky spell escaped from it. Lily almost retracted her hand from his grip when her hand felt as though it had turned into a firework. But his hands held hers so gently that she didn't.

Lily watched as the wound closed and her hand was left without a blemish. She waited for Potter to move away but he didn't. His hands played with her hand and he looked up into her eyes. His eyes were dark and filled with an emotion that Lily was sure was in her eyes.

He held her hand in his left hand while his right hand moved to her wand. He held it and cleaned the blood from it with a quick spell. Lily felt him place it in her lap and his gaze was fully focused on her. Lily ducked down and let her hair surround her.

Potter's fingers brushed strands from her face in a gentle pattern. Lily looked up when his thumb circled her cheek. Her heart pounded against her chest in a frenzy of activity. It wanted something; it wanted more. But Lily remembered her mum's journal and drew a shaky intake.

She pulled her hand away from Potter's hands and shoved her body against the back of her seat. She crossed her arms and kept her chest from breaking. Lily stared at Potter with utter hatred and destestment. She didn't expect Potter's reaction. He blinked and recomposed his concerned face. A wicked grin graced his handsome face and he ran a hand through his hair. Potter stood and the carriage stopped moving.

Black fell over and cursed loudly. Potter turned from her and helped his friend up. Lily stood and made to move. But Black and Lupin shoved passed her. Lily fell on the seat and Jason sent her an apologetic face as he exited the carriage. Lily glared at him and moved her arms. She used her seat to pull her body into a standing position. Lily walked out of the carriage and heard a loud grunt.

She turned and saw the Threstals. Lily's blank face faltered as she moved towards the large beasts. She stood to one's side and moved her arm to its side. It stared at her with a fierce expression. It seemed to dare her to touch it. Lily gulped and gave the Threstal a soft pat. She sucked in a breath and her eyelids fluttered. A bolt of lightening seemed to hit her hand when she touched the Threstal.

Lily pulled her hand back and moved backwards. She hit a hard chest and turned with a pale face. Her wand was pointed at the person behind her. Lily remembered the last time she pointed a wand at this person. She concentrated and pushed those memories away. Potter looked down at her. He seemed fine with their close proximity.

Lily glared at him and his face pulled into a lazy smile. Lily shoved him and walked by him. She looked up and was met with the large castle. Butterflies spewed from her stomach as she smiled at the castle. Lily was home; she didn't need Galen when she had Hogwarts. A smile crossed her face as she moved to walk up the stairs to the entrance hall.

A pair of hands grabbed her from behind and pushed her to their owners. Lily's face met a solid chest and she looked up. Lily felt so safe, but as she met the cocky smirk of James Potter she tried to push that feeling away. Her body struggled against his hold and his smirk only widened.

Her body slumped against him when she realized that he wasn't going to do anything. Lily looked up and saw the moon sitting high in the sky. Stars gleaned around it. She felt Potter's fingers tug at her hair and she wrinkled her nose. Why did Potter feel the need to toy with her?

Lily checked her watch and groaned internally. They were late to the feast. McGonagall would probably give her a detention. Lily only hoped that it wouldn't be with Potter when she remembered their last detention together. She shrugged her body out of Potter's grip and turned to the staircase.

Lily started to move up it when Potter appeared in front of her. His eyes were smug as he grinned wickedly at her. Lily glared at him and moved around him. This continued for a few minutes, but Lily refused to speak or even hex him. She didn't want him to think that she cared.

Just as she reached the entrance hall, Potter grabbed her and pulled her into a kiss. It was just like she remembered. Fireworks and lightning seemed to explode in her mouth as Potter's moved against hers. Just as his tongue slipped into hers Lily pulled away from him. She scowled and straightened her tie and hair. Potter grinned at her through his lidded eyes and tousled look. Unlike Potter, Lily did not prefer for the entire hall to think that she had just shagged him.

Lily glared at him and opened the large door to the hall. She moved inside and he followed. His crisp voice broke the silence as he moved in front of her.

" Lily I just thought you should know this, but I'm highly aware of our impending marriage. I'm looking forward to seeing if you're as resilient in the bed as you are in life," Potter murmured in her ear.

He placed a kiss on her forehead before disappearing before Lily's eyes. She closed her eyes and felt her chest start to break. Lily wrapped her arms around it and rocked back and forward on her heels. She blinked away the tear coming from her eye. Potter couldn't know about their marriage! Why didn't he try to contact her over summer break if he was so eager to be with her?

Lily sighed and pushed those thoughts away. She didn't have either the time or the mindset to deal with this anymore. She had a feast to be late to. Lily walked to the open entrance to the Great Hall. She could see a large group of first years in the front of the hall. One by one, they made to move towards the sorting hat.

Lily's lips pursed when she recalled her own experience with the hat. It said she was worthy of Godric Gryffindor's bravery but she wasn't too sure of that. Some eyes turned to her in curiosity. She watched as a group of Ravenclaws, including Justin Davies, traced her figure. Lily ignored the people staring at her and moved towards the back of the Gryffindor table.

She could feel the eyes of Professor McGonagall watching her. She looked up and saw that the wise woman's eyes were focused on her bloody shirt. Lily blushed as she looked at her shirt. She didn't notice that the blood from her cuts had stained her shirt in an ugly slash. That was what people were staring at. Lily ducked her head and sat at the edge of the table.

Lily looked around the hall as the sorting took place. She could see her friends sitting in the middle of the Gryffindor table. Michael's eyes glanced at her bloodstained shirt but he glared at her. Lily bit her lip and was forced to look away.

She could see the Hufflepuffs welcoming new students to their table. A few girls giggled and waved at the Slytherin table. Lily's eyes immediately looked to where they were looking. She could see the Marauders sitting in the center of the table smirking at a few girls. They spoke in close whispers and broke apart. It was Black's mischievous grin that worried Lily.

She watched in horror as he turned and faced the Hufflepuff table. His eyes found a small freckly boy and he grinned. Black took his wand out and aimed it at the boy's pants. Lily leaned up and took her wand out. She aimed it at Black and watched his next move.

Black muttered a spell that Lily couldn't heat. She watched as fire surged from his wand and hit the boy's pants. The boy's eyes widened and he screamed, interrupting the sorting ceremony. Students around him screamed and shouted. But Lily wasn't one of them. The fire entranced her.

A breath escaped her mouth in a loud sob. Her eyes were pressed shut and she saw everything. The wicked smile of her kidnapper. Michael's body thrashing out in pain against the stonewall. Her magic was fighting for control in her memory.

Lily groaned and could feel fire and smoke engulfing her. Flames tickled her and she shot up. Lily needed to get out. She needed to run. Her memories engulfed her in a swarm of pain. Memories of pain and agony suffocated her to the point that she didn't notice that Professor Flitwick had put out the flames rising from Cooper Sheldon's pants. She never noticed that half of hall was enraptured in loud conversation. Only one person noticed her struggling against some invisible force.

" Lily," a voice shouted. Lily recognized that voice. She tried to stand but couldn't. Her body fell to the floor when a memory hit her. The pain was too much. Lily groaned and turned to the cold floor of the Great Hall. She felt someone move her and shot up.

" Stop Benjy please stop," Lily moaned. The person holding her flinched but she didn't notice that. Lily was trapped in a cage made of her memories. It hurt so much. The fire coming out of her hands, the fire burning her skin, the fire choking the life out of her.

" Lily it's okay. We're not down there. Lily you're in the Great Hall," a voice exclaimed. Lily felt a spell hit her chest and collapsed against the person holding her. She could breathe; Lily could breathe. Breaths and sobs choked from her lungs.

Lily looked up and met Michael Wood's brown eyes. She could tell that he knew what happened to her. But there was a layer of betrayal in them. Lily shoved him off her and stood. The entire hall was looking at her. She pushed down the blush and faced Michael.

" You may not be down there anymore, but I'm trapped there," Lily told Michael. She turned from him and gulped. Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore stood near her and Michael. Michael stood and faced her. Lily averted her face from the curious eyes of the entire hall.

" Miss Evans you need to go to the hospital wing," Professor McGonagall announced. Lily paled at this idea. She couldn't go to a hospital. Mrs. Kingsmill's pale face and Michael's bandaged torso flashed in her mind. Lily felt bile creep up her throat and frowned.

" I'm fine Professor McGonagall. Honestly I forgot to eat lunch today that's all," Lily argued. Her teacher pursed her lips and stared at Lily.

" Miss Evans one doesn't scream with agony from missing a meal," Professor McGonagall pointed out. Before Lily could say anything, Professor Dumbledore interrupted.

" Minerva she's fine for now. Mr. Wood that was quick thinking with your spell work. There is nothing here to be done. Miss Evans you may join the feast. But I ask that you stop by my office before curfew," Professor Dumbledore asked.

" Albus this isn't some small issue. Miss Evans needs to go to the hospital wing," Professor McGonagall argued. Lily could feel curious eyes watching them. She turned to the teachers and cleared her throat.

" Honestly I'm fine. I just have certain issues with fire after what happened in June," Lily begged.

" Then it's settled. The feast will continue and Miss Evans will report to my office afterwards. Mr. Wood please take a seat," Professor Dumbledore announced. Professor McGonagall and him walked back to the front table to finish the sorting.

Lily sat in her original seat and ducked her head. Michael tried to speak to her but she ignored him. He walked back to his seat with his friends. But she could feel a pair of eyes watching her. After the sorting finished, Professor Dumbledore started the feast.

Lily picked at the food on her plate and sighed. She felt someone sit down and his knees brush hers. Lily wrinkled her nose and looked up.

" Michael I told you that I'm fine," Lily declared. She heard a chuckle too deep and dulcet to be Michael's. Lily looked up and met Potter's eyes in a glare.

" It's a good thing that I'm not Wood then," Potter replied. Lily knew that people were watching them but she didn't care. Lily was done caring about stupid rumors and lies.

" Potter wrong table," Lily managed to say. Potter's hand ran through his hair and the girls closest to them sighed. Potter looked at his green and silver tie with a grin.

" I dunno Lily. The hat told me that I'm pretty courageous," Potter teased. Lily gulped and felt his hand reach for hers. She pulled it back and glared at him.

" You must have been drunk," Lily replied drily. Potter watched her with a critical eye.

" I was eleven Lily. I highly doubt that I started drinking before my fifteenth birthday," Potter answered. Lily wrinkled her nose at his usage of her name.

" Don't call me that," Lily grunted. Potter ran a hand through his hair and played with his wand.

" What Lily? Would you prefer if I called you Miss Gastor," Potter mocked. Lily shot up and held her wand at his jugular. He watched her with an amused grin. Lily could feel the stares of people across the hall.

" That's none of your business Potter. Actually I'm none of your business until you turn seventeen. So until then I would advise for you to either call me mudblood or Evans. Otherwise you may lose all of that bloody hair," Lily growled.

Potter narrowed his eyes and stood. He brushed some dirt off his shirt and looked at Lily with a gleam in his eyes. He leaned over to her and moved his mouth close to her ear.

" I'll wait then. It doesn't matter to me. In seven months you will be mine," Potter whispered into her ear. Lily shot up and glared at him. He smirked at her before turning and walking back to the Slytherin table. Lily's heart pounded harshly against her chest. She glared at the gawking students around her and sat down.

After dessert ended, Dumbledore stood and the plates on the tables disappeared. He cleared his throat and silence entered the hall.

" Welcome to Hogwarts. I hope that all of you had an excellent summer, but now it is time to put aside those memories for school. We are living in dark times. This war will engulf everything we love and care for, but we must remember to love and stay together. Due to recent events in June, the school board and I have elected to suspend all Hogsmeade trips, indefinitely," Dumbledore started. Protests broke out across the hall. Lily ignored the stares she was receiving and turned to Dumbledore.

" Enough. I will not allow another student to risk his or her life again. Curfews will be enforced for the school year. Any student caught breaking curfew will be at risk for suspension. I advise for students to travel in groups, remember we are strong in numbers. Mr. Filch would like me to announce that mail and luggage will be checked for dark artifacts. Lastly we have a new addition to the Hogwarts staff. Professor Shacklebolt has decided to leave school and return to the auror department," Dumbledore announced.

Whispers broke out around the hall. Lily looked up to the front table and noticed a tall and poise woman sitting in between Professor Slughorn and Professor Sprout. The woman had elegant chestnut hair, which looked almost red. It was pulled into a sharp ponytail. Her eyes were critical and a rich mahogany. She wore expensive dress robes and had a deep tan. Lily made eye contact with the woman and recognized her.

The woman looked at Lily and smiled wickedly. Lily narrowed her eyes; she knew this woman. At one point in her life she looked up to her. But this Professor betrayed Lily in an unforgivable way. But why was she her? Professor Gladstone was supposed to be doing something rather important.

" Students and faculty please welcome Professor Judea Gladstone," Professor Dumbledore declared. The tall woman stood and the hall clapped for her. But she never broke eye contact with the green-eyed girl sitting at the Gryffindor table.

Lily gulped and looked down. She couldn't relive those memories now. She didn't want to think about how much she owed Judea Gladstone. Professor Gladstone saved her from letting her magic get too powerful.

" Prefects please lead the students to their designated common rooms. May all of you have an excellent school year," Dumbledore announced. Lily stood and looked through the crowd of professors and students for Professor Gladstone.

" Evans we need to help the 5th year prefects lead the first years," Michael announced from behind her. Lily ignored him and stood on her toes. She saw a flash of Professor Gladstone's robes and made her way through the large mass. Lily could hear Michael protesting from behind her but she didn't seem to notice him.

Lily followed Professor Gladstone into an empty hallway. The tall woman walked in a brisk manner.

" Professor Gladstone," Lily shouted. The woman turned and her face paled. Lily jogged up to her and stood in front of the teacher. Her old teacher watched her with critical eyes.

" Lily Gastor, or as Dumbledore calls you Lily Evans. I never thought I'd see you again," Professor Gladstone replied. Her voice twisted around a garbled Greek accent. Lily tugged a strand of her hair and straightened her back.

" I heard that you were in Siberia chasing that death eater," Lily stated. Professor Gladstone nodded and rubbed her arm. Lily could make out a scar stretching from the woman's arm.

" I was in Siberia two years ago. I managed to corner Josiah Crichton in a small village in the Philippines. He took my partner with him," Professor Gladstone revealed. Lily felt relieved; Josiah Crichton was a person from her past who would stay there.

" I'm sorry that your partner died. Why are you here?" Lily asked. Her old teacher looked at her with an amused stare.

" Dumbledore called in a favor. Besides I found a lead here on some of my research regarding the phoenix," Professor Gladstone answered.

" Oh so you're not here for me?" Lily asked. Her old teacher scoffed at this.

" I see that you're still arrogant. No I owed your mother a favor; that's why I helped you out with that magic of yours. How is that going?" Professor Gladstone asked. Lily recalled her experience in June darkly.

" I've got in under control," Lily managed to say.

" It's good to know that I didn't waste two years teaching you then," Professor Gladstone answered. Lily almost forgot her old teacher's brisk and bitter personality.

" Did you want anything in particular besides wasting my time?" Professor Gladstone asked. Lily nodded and looked at her wand. If anyone knew anything about griffins it would be Professor Gladstone.

" What do you know about griffins?" Lily questioned. Gladstone looked at her curiously and replied.

" They're protective beasts that have been used in the past to guard treasure or divine powers. A few centuries ago, most of them began to die out for an unknown reason. Only a few people have ever seen one," Professor Gladstone answered with a curious expression.

Lily nodded. Her teacher didn't know much more than the textbooks she read. Lily checked her watch and cursed. Curfew was in thirty minutes and she still had to meet Dumbledore.

" I'm sorry Professor but I have to go," Lily said. She turned and started to walk towards Dumbledore's office.

" Lily I think you should know that I made sure that Josiah suffered before he died," Professor Gladstone called out. Lily bit her lip and felt bile crawl up her throat. She had a taste of Judea Gladstone's twisted torture once and she almost pitied Josiah Crichton. Then she remembered what the horrible man did.

" Good he deserved it all," Lily finished. She walked from her old teacher and headed up the staircase. Lily shoved the thoughts of her past in Greece away. She didn't know how to feel about Josiah Crichton's death. She couldn't show her true feelings in front of Professor Gladstone, which was too risky.

Lily sighed and made her way to the statue of the griffin. She cursed when she realized that Dumbledore never told her the password. Lily crossed her arms and glared at the statue.

She heard footsteps and looked up. Professor Dumbledore walked closer to her with a grim expression.

" Miss Evans thank you for coming. Now let us adjourn to my office. Ice mice," Dumbledore vocalized. The griffin in front of Lily spiraled up and a staircase appeared. Her feet pounded against the stone of the stairs behind Dumbledore's. When the pair reached the office, Dumbledore moved in front of a large cabinet and used his wand to remove a large bowl-like thing from the cabinet. He propelled it towards his desk and let it rest there.

" Miss Evans do you know what this object is," Dumbledore questioned. Lily bit her lip and shook her head. He smiled at her and motioned for her to move forward.

" This is my personal Pensieve. A Pensieve is a device used to look through old memories. I've called you to my office since I owe you an explanation," Dumbledore replied. Lily nodded and watched him place the tip of his wand to his temple. A silver mist pulled from his head and he shuddered.

The wand carried it over to the basin of the Pensieve and dropped it inside. Lily could see the memory swirl inside of the bowl.

" Professor what are you going to show me," Lily asked. Dumbledore turned to her with a determined expression.

" I am showing you the first encounter I had with a certain wizard. This wizard would later go on to do some extraordinary things, for the worse," Dumbledore answered. Lily repressed a groan. She should have been grateful for this experience; but Lily didn't have the heart for it. She was frankly not in the mood to deal with Dumbledore's cryptic messages.

Dumbledore saw her expression and his eyes twinkled. Lily sighed and leaned over the basin at the same time as Dumbledore. She gasped and felt her body tug into the bowl. Wind whirled around her and she flew. Lily couldn't see anyone or anything. But the feeling of falling from the sky was exhilarating.

* * *

Her feet landed on the ground with a loud thud. Lily's eyes opened and she stared at the location in confusion. She was still in Dumbledore's office. Lily frowned and looked around. Daylight streamed through the curtains. Lily could hear Professor Dumbledore's phoenix cawing on its perch.

She smiled and moved towards the bird. Its feathers gleamed. But the bird didn't seem to notice Lily. Lily tried to touch it, but couldn't. Her hand slipped right through the bird. Lily narrowed her eyes. But before she could do anything, the loud footsteps coming up the stairs made her turn.

Three boys came up the stairs. An older boy followed them with a poorly concealed proud expression. Lily watched as a younger version of Professor McGonagall and Professor Slughorn followed the proud boy. Lily gaped at Professor Dumbledore walking out from the stairs. His face held less wrinkles and his beard was shorter.

Professor McGonagall glared at the three boys with a disdained expression. Lily moved closer and got a view at the boys. She stood close to the one on the right. He had thick glossy black hair and stormy gray eyes. He smirked at the floor. Lily swore that this boy looked like a younger version of Sirius Black.

The boy on the left was tall and gangly. Lily blinked at him. She narrowed her eyes and shivered. This boy looked like a younger form of Benedict Auclair. His hair was cut short to his ears and he had the same cerulean eyes that Benjy had. Lily could see his long eyelashes and a dark grin on the boy's face. She pushed the memories of Benjy away and turned to the last boy.

He stood in the middle and did not make an effort to conceal his grin of pride. He had curly gold hair and a pair of mischievous gold eyes. Lily knew that he was young, but something about the boy told Lily that he would be a heart breaker in his future. There was something vaguely familiar about the boy.

Before Lily could further analyze the boys, Professor Dumbledore sat in his desk with a grim expression. Professor Slughorn stood on the right o f the boys and Professor McGonagall stood on their left. The older boy stood behind the gold-haired one with a serious face.

Lily studied this boy. His robes were pressed and looked expensive. Lily could make out a captain's badge resting on his right side. A headboy badge sat on his left chest. The boy was handsome and that was clear. Muscles rippled from the boy's back and his hazel eyes twinkled from behind a pair of square glasses. Lily could see a mop of chaotic hair resting on the boy's head. He looked like Potter.

Yet this man had some difference from Potter. His hands were big and callused. Potter's hands were long and elegant. This boy had a thick jawline, but Potter had a sharp one and high cheekbones. Potter's eyelashes were longer than this man's also. Lily assumed that this man was a relative to the Potter family.

" Professor Dumbledore these boys must explain their actions. Annie Carter was sent to the hospital wing from their supposed prank," Professor McGonagall barked. Lily turned to Professor Dumbledore and saw him examining the boys.

" Mr. Potter, as headboy and captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team I will ask for you to account what occurred on the Quidditch pitch," Professor Dumbledore announced. Lily looked at the older boy with realization; that was Charlus Potter. He was Potter's dad.

" Professor I was hosting try outs for the team this afternoon. I saw Gastor play before and asked him to attend the seeker tryouts. I believe that Black and Auclair were trying out for the beater and chaser positions respectively. Annie Carter was trying out for the seeker position as far as I know. I sent the seekers off after a snitch, and after about five minutes I heard a scream. I looked over and saw Carter falling from the air from near Black. As she fell, Gastor tried to grab her but his fingers slipped. I was too late and she landed on the ground with a thud," Charlus recited. His voice was drawled and in a black monotone.

" Mr. Potter is prejudiced! Why was Mr. Black even near Miss Carter from the start?" Professor McGonagall scoffed. Lily turned to the boy on the right.

" I saw her slip from her broom Professor. I flew over to her and made to grab her, but she fell," Orion Black listed. Lily decided that this boy must have been Sirius Black's father.

" Why is Darcy here? He wasn't even at the scene," the gold haired boy demanded. Lily turned to the boy on the left. It was Darcy Auclair! She looked to the golden haired boy and gaped at him. That was her father. The boy was William Gastor, her dad.

" Mr. Gastor if you and Mr. Black are involved in anything then I can only assume that Mr. Auclair is also involved," Professor McGonagall scoffed.

" Professor Dumbledore this is completely idiotic! You're relying on Professor McGonagall's prejudiced opinions to rectify what happened on the pitch, and that is an obvious mistake. Look she just displayed her bigotry," Charlus exclaimed.

" Mr. Potter please calm down. Believe me when I say that I've heard enough of your opinions regarding the Professors at Hogwarts," Dumbledore thundered. Lily could feel an aurora of power surrounding him. He turned to her father.

" William Gastor it is a pleasure to meet you. I would prefer for this not to be under these conditions though," Professor Dumbledore addressed. Lily's father looked up at him with a blank expression.

" My dad talks about you Professor; the pleasure is mine," William said in a confident voice.

" Now did you and Mr. Black shove Miss Carter off her broom," Dumbledore asked. Her father didn't flinch or change his expression.

" No we didn't. Honestly, Carter isn't the best flyer in the world. I saw her fall and Orion tried to help her. She was falling so I ditched the snitch and flew after her," William explained. Dumbledore smiled at him.

" You may be in Slytherin Mr. Gastor but you have the courage of a Gryffindor," Dumbledore commented. A scowl flashed on her father's face but it quickly disappeared.

" So the matter is settled then. Boys you may return to the Slytherin Common Room," Professor Dumbledore announced. Lily watched as the Professors led the boys from the room. After Professor McGonagall bid Professor Dumbledore a goodbye she left with Professor Slughorn. Lily felt herself being tugged from the memory but something made her stay. She turned a corner and saw a sight.

" Black Auclair I need a quick word with Gastor," Charlus Potter barked. The two boys nodded and scurried off to their common rooms. Lily saw her dad looked down and Potter turn to him.

" Will I can't cover up your bloody pranks all the time," Charlus exclaimed.

" I know that Charlus! It's just that me and Orion were offended that a half-blood like Carter would even bother to tryout for the team," Lily's dad responded. Lily felt disappointment fill her. Even at such a young age her father was so prejudiced.

" Look Will, I'm only helping you out since Marie, your sister, is my girlfriend. I know how close your family is. I'm planning on proposing to her soon," Charlus sighed. There was a concerned gleam to Charlus Potter's eyes. Lily's dad looked at him curiously.

" Why are you so sad about it? I though you and Marie were going well," Lily's dad asked. Charlus blinked and a scowl crossed his face.

" Marie is great. She's a prefect and not to mention loves quidditch almost as much as I do. It's just that she's been feeling ill lately," Charlus explained. A confused expression crossed William Gastor's face. The older boy chuckled and ruffled William's golden locks.

" Don't worry Will. Marie and I will be fine and you're too young to worry about love. Have you got your eyes on any girls?" Charlus asked at an attempt to change the conversation. Lily's dad's face lit up.

" Well there's this one girl. She's in Ravenclaw; and she is bloody great. The problem is that I think Darcy likes her too. Her name is Rosaline Whitewood," William sighed with a dreamy face. Lily looked at her dad with a curious expression. She remembered reading about her dad liking her Aunt Rose in the letter Darcy Auclair left her. Yet she never thought that the attraction started so early.

Lily looked at Charlus Potter. He looked down at the young boy with a fond expression; similar to how one would look at their little brother.

" Whitewoods are a good family Will. Good for you. Maybe when you're older I'll teach you some of my tricks to get the girls," Charlus teased. Lily's dad nodded and Charlus checked the time.

" I better take you back to the common room before curfew. Marie wants me to meet her in the Head's dorms," Charlus finished. Lily watched as the two boys turned around the corner and walked off in the distance.

Suddenly something seemed to grab her and pull her out of the memory. Lily was thrown up and leaned up. She gasped and rapidly blinked. Lily could see that she was in Professor Dumbledore's office in the present day.

* * *

She turned and met Professor Dumbledore's eyes. He smiled lightly at her and moved the Pensieve back to its cabinet with a flick of his wand. Lily cleared her throat and he looked up at her.

" Who were you meeting for the first time that day?" Lily asked. Dumbledore placed his wand down and moved behind his desk.

" That was the day I met William Gastor, your father. I believed him that day you see. That was before he broke the delicate gift of trust that I gave him. It was only years later that I discovered from Charlus Potter that he had covered Orion Black and William Gastor's attempt to get Miss Carter disqualified from tryouts," Dumbledore explained.

Lily gulped and stared at his desk. Her father wasn't so petty to do something like that. She knew he was confident and wouldn't need to strike out competition.

" Miss Evans you must understand something. When people are young they are foolish and innocent. It takes adulthood to shape someone. Your father was one of those people. He grew up believing that blood defined a person, rather than who the person was. Yet he never outgrew that belief. With time and tragedy he moved pass the petty methods of his bigotry; he decided to make a difference by joining Voldemort's cause," Dumbledore listed in a grim tone.

Lily looked at him curiously. She had a question a question that wouldn't leave her alone.

" Professor in that memory, Charlus Potter said something about a Marie," Lily stated in a curious voice. Dumbledore's face became sympathetic. A sadness that seemed ancient filled him.

" Marie Elizabeth Gastor, she was different from your family. She was your dad's oldest and only sister. She passed away during the Christmas Holiday of that year. I believe that she was emitted to St. Mungos with Spattergroit on Christmas day, she didn't live to see the new year. Charlus was devastated," Dumbledore explained. Pain crossed his face and Lily felt a surge of sympathy.

" My dad never mentioned her. He only told me that he named me for his dead sister," Lily said.

" Marie Gastor was a Gryffindor you see. She unlike her family was willing to accept the fact that the Gastor family descends from Godric Gryffindor. She was a truly brave woman," Dumbledore responded.

" Professor I appreciate what you showed me, but why did you do it?" Lily asked.

" Miss Evans you are aware of your mother's involvement in the Order of the Phoenix. I knew Delphina Gastor for more than 25 years. She was an extraordinary woman. Before her death, she requested a favor from me. If you were to ever return to England and find out about your betrothal, she wanted you to understand why she gave you up," Dumbledore enlightened.

Lily looked down to hide her blush. She felt so guilty for neglecting her responsibilities with the Order. Dumbledore watched her with an empathetic expression.

" Miss Evans do not feel shame for leaving England. Your stay in Greece may seem petty now, but it gave you the closure you needed to accept the way your life ended up," Dumbledore said. Lily drew in a quick breath and felt tears come to her eyes. She laughed and blinked them away. Lily wouldn't waste another tear on James Potter.

" I'm sorry Professor I don't know why I'm crying," Lily croaked. Dumbledore looked at her with something close to empathy, but how could he ever understand her pain.

" Lily it's okay to cry sometimes. Freedom deserves tears," Dumbledore proclaimed. Lily looked up at him and stifled a sob.

" Is there anyway for me to get out of it," Lily beseeched. She couldn't say what was happpening to her. But it was okay; Dumbledore seemed to understand. Dumbledore shook his head and she nodded tightly.

" Lily we can't always choose the way fate plays out, but we can choose our own destiny," Dumbledore said. That sentence would become Lily's savior. For months it would sit in her memory, only to be reawakened one summer day.

That saying would save her. Lily may have not understood what it meant on September 1st 1976, but she would eventually learn what the difference between fate and destiny was. Lily's life didn't end from Bellatrix Lestange's killing curse the following summer since she was ready to choose her destiny.

Sometimes there is a destiny laid out for people, but it is up to them to choose their own destiny. Fate works itself around whatever path one chooses. Lily's life would change the day she realized that she didn't need to let the world control her. She would realize that the cage she was in could be opened from the inside. Lily would be free, and it all came down to one quick decision.

If Sirius Black hadn't chosen to light muggleborn, Cooper Sheldon on fire then Lily wouldn't have had a panic attack in the Great Hall. Dumbledore would have never showed Lily that memory and started a yearlong memory viewing session with her. If Dumbledore kept the memory showing off until the following year like he planned then Lily would have died before ever seeing that first memory.

Thankfully Sirius Black lit Cooper Sheldon's pants on fire.

* * *

Lily tightened her ponytail and watched as Marlene left the locker room. She pulled the captain's badge out of her pocket and fastened it to her robes. Lily tied her laces on and grabbed her broom from its perch near her locker. She shut the door to her locker and pushed her wand into the hemline of her shorts. Lily tugged on the straps of her uniform and slid her gear on. She felt bad for blocking Marlene out, but she couldn't take any risks.

Lily sighed and walked out of the locker room. The warm sun hit her skin and she squinted at the light. A crowd stood in the center of the pitch. The other members of the Gryffindor team stood a few feet away from them. The stands were filled with curious students and envious ones.

Since Lily had spent the previous day glaring at everybody no one paid too much attention to her. Yet one of the students trying out for the Keeper position saw the gold gleam on her chest and shoved his friend to look at it.

Shouts and whispers broke out across the pitch as people realized that muggleborn Lily Evans was the new Gryffindor Quidditch Captain. Lily was annoyed by Hogwart's obsession with Quidditch.

Let's back track for a minute to the topic of Quidditch at Hogwarts. Quidditch was one of the most anticipated events at the school. The adrenaline and rush of the sport had gotten it international acclaim. But at Hogwarts, Quidditch was more than just a sport; it was a lifestyle. Members of the house teams were treated like deities. Illegally gambling took place over games. Girls were given an opportune time to ogle the male Quidditch players at their practices.

Houses did anything to protect and verify the safety of their teams. Students were chose to be used as bodyguards for the players before matches. Hexes and jinxes were thrown widely across the hall. Yet it wasn't only the students obsess with the sport. The teachers held a certain fondness for matches. Professor McGonagall could be often found proudly looking at the overflowing trophy cabinet in the Gryffindor Common Room.

The members of the teams loved the spotlight for the most part. People such as James Potter and Amos Diggory basked in a victory. Michael Wood had rumors of his pregame rituals being rather raunchy. The Gastor family's legacy on the pitch had no competition. Rumors were saying that scouts from Puddlemere United and the Applebee Arrows were attending matches to watch players like the Prewitt twins and Justin Davies.

So when Michael Wood announced that he was unable to play or captain the Gryffindor Quidditch team at the start of the school year due to his injuries not being healed yet, chaos broke out. Slytherins watched members of the Gryffindor Quidditch team slyly. Bets were made to see who was the new captain. Fangirls cried and bemoaned the loss of Michael Wood's participation on the pitch.

Most assumed that the new captain would be either Adam McKinnon or Gideon Prewitt. After the day of the welcoming feast, the weekend was spent with students came up to members of the team demanding to know who the new captain was. Unluckily for them, the team had taken an oath of silence. Marlene McKinnon had even hexed a certain Ravenclaw for asking too many questions.

Lily on the other hand didn't join her friends. She returned from Dumbledore's office late in the night and found that their dormitory had only three beds. Alice's had been removed since she and Frank moved into the Head's dorms. Lily spent the night in a tumultuous sleep. She woke up much earlier than her dorm mates and proceeded to ignore her friends. Michael sent her shooting glares that didn't go unnoticed by the Hogwarts population.

No one approached Lily for entire day of Saturday. She spent most of her time in the library reading up on the unforgivable curses. Her mum had been researching the three curses and Lily decided that in order to discover what her mum was doing she had to continue her mum's research.

Lily flipped to the back of her mum's journal and ignored the entries. Fresh new blank pages formed and Lily smiled at the charm. She used the battered journal to record the information she gathered on the unforgivable curses.

When Lily wasn't in the library with her mum's journal, she was outside setting up plans for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. She didn't want to be the captain, she would have preferred if Adam or Gideon was captain, but Dumbledore refused to let her step down when she requested to resign from the position that morning.

Lily knew that Amos Diggory was the Hufflepuff captain. Justin Davies was the captain for Ravenclaw. On Sunday she found out that Potter was captain of the Slytherin team. Gossip circled around the fact that Jason had been the first Gastor to not be Quidditch captain. Gossip circled around Jason. Thanks to tabloids, most of the wizarding world was aware that Cassius and Pericles left the permanently country. With Jason being the last Gastor to stay in England, he was declared the current heir.

Lily felt bad for him. He was alone and seemed to give up on everything. She still hadn't spoken to him since their carriage ride, but she could see him in the hallways sometimes. He looked so different. He was bigger yet his clothing seemed to hang off his figure. Lily could see dark circles under his eyes, but most of the students at Hogwarts had those.

Since Michael left the team, a new Keeper was needed. Lily set up tryouts for the afternoon of Sunday and posted the announcement on the bulletin of the Gryffindor Common Room anonymously on Sunday morning. She ate a quick breakfast and set an aurora of imposing coldness to the students in the hall.

None of her friends had attempted to confront her. But Lily caught Marlene shooting concerned glances in her direction occasionally. Lily didn't want to do this, but she had to. Letting her friends get close to her was too dangerous. She left the hall and spent the time until tryouts setting up plans for the team.

Lily entered the girls' locker room ten minutes before tryouts. Marlene glanced at her and opened her mouth.

" Lily what's going on?" Marlene announced. Lily cursed internally.

She ignored Marlene and quickly started to change. Marlene made a few more sorry attempts at conversation but Lily ignored her. After Marlene left, Lily finished changing and headed out to the pitch, taking this to the present situation.

Lily could feel the entire pitch watching her as she walked over to the other members of the team. She turned away from them and faced the twenty or so hopeful Keepers.

" I'm Lily Evans Seeker and Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. If you are planning on playing as the Keeper for this team start by taking ten laps around the pitch," Lily ordered. The students quickly scrambled for their brooms and took to the air.

Lily turned to the other members of the team. They were openly gaping at her. Frank even narrowed his eyes.

" Wood wouldn't tell anyone who he suggested to McGonagall for the captain position but now it makes so much sense. You had him wrapped around your finger last year," Frank sneered. Lily heard the stands silence at their headboy's mockery of the captain. She clenched her jaw and faced the chaser.

" Well I'm captain now even if I'm such an evil bitch. Go and take a lap Longbottom," Lily barked. She could feel a petty rage fill her. Frank scoffed at this and Lily grabbed his collar.

" You lot may not like me anymore," Lily started. She heard someone snort and turned to Adam.

" We can barely tolerate you Evans. Did you even know that Benjy died," Adam asked. Lily pushed down the sadness and despair; she was alone again.

" I was at his bloody funeral. And don't you dare preach about Michael he's the one who got Benjy killed," Lily exclaimed. Her words had the affected purpose. Marlene glared at her and Lily was sure that she was about to jump her.

" Every member of the team needs to certify that they belong here. So go and take a lap otherwise your position on this team will be revoked," Lily ordered. She hated this so much, but she couldn't let her friends get close to her ever again. They glared at her and Fabian spoke up.

"What makes you think that you belong on this team Evans," Fabian demanded. She wondered what Michael must have told them to make them hate her so much.

" I already know that I don't deserve to be here. The rest of you should realize that too," Lily said in a low voice. This silenced the team and they exchanged glances. In a group they shot off to the pitch on their brooms. Lily repressed the sadness coming from her and turned to the stands. She narrowed her eyes at the students pointedly glaring at her. She heard the team and the people trying out stop flying and land.

Lily sent half of the people trying out off the pitch. She sent Marlene and Frank to one of the goals with five of the people trying out. Adam and her went to the other set of hoops with five of the people trying out. They took ten shots on each of the people. Lily sent seven people off the pitch and turned to the last three.

" In order to be a Keeper, you also need to have some skills with throwing the quaffle accurately. In the next exercise you will be shooting on one of the members of the team five times whoever gets the most goals in gets the position," Lily announced. She kept Adam in as the Keeper and set the rest of the team off to practice.

She watched the people trying out attempt to throw the quaffle. But they weren't that good. Lily had Marlene and Frank shoot on Adam to show the people trying out how to play as a Keeper. She was amazed by the clear skill he had. He was much better than any of the people trying out.

An idea hit Lily. It was risky but if it worked then Gryffindor would be secured to win the first game of the year. She ended the tryouts and had the entire team gather in the middle of the pitch. Lily told the three people trying out that they didn't make the team. She asked one of them to get a certain person she saw in the stands down to the pitch. Lily turned to her team. They stared at her in shock, as did the entire pitch.

" The new Gryffindor Keeper is Adam McKinnon," Lily announced. Gideon snorted at this.

" Evans then we don't have a chaser," Gideon said. Lily nodded and heard someone jogging up to them. She grinned and pulled the person into the group. The pitch was watching them with anxious eyes.

" Guys this is our new seeker Trevor Griffiths, his sister plays for the Holyhead Harpies," Lily said in a low voice.

" Evans what about you then?" Frank demanded. Lily smiled with an evil grin.

" I'm taking over for Adam as chaser. If Trevor is anything like his sister, and he told me that he's even better, we've already got the Quidditch Cup," Lily explained. The team shared begrudgingly respected stares. They had seen Lily on the pitch as a chaser before, and knew that she was amazing.

" This stays between the team. As far as anyone knows I'm a loony bint who chose some random fourth year to be Keeper even though he never tried out," Lily ordered. The team nodded and she turned from them.

" Good practice is on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays every week from four to seven until the first match. I'll be holding a private practice with Trevor on Saturday mornings around five if her wants to join," Lily decided. The young boy fervently expressed his wish to play. Lily finished the meeting and sent the team from the pitch. She packed up the equipment with the assistance of a reluctant Marlene.

" Hey Marlene what did Michael say I did?" Lily asked. Marlene looked up in shock and almost dropped the large box she was carrying.

" He umm told us that you were as good as a death eater," Marlene muttered. Lily couldn't the flinch that came from this. She nodded and ducked behind her hair to hide the blush appearing on her cheeks.

" Lily are you a death eater?" Marlene asked suddenly.

" No, but it's not exactly safe for you guys to be friends with me," Lily explained. Marlene snorted.

" Lily we don't care that you are muggleborn. I guess it must be strange since all of us are purebloods, but we're not like Black and the other Slytherins," Marlene expressed with concerned eyes. Lily looked at her as they dropped the large cases in the broom shed.

" I know that Marlee. It has nothing to do with my blood status. It's more like I'm a bomb and if I keep being your friend it's going to hurt more when I explode," Lily admitted wryly.

" Lils friends are the people willing to be there when someone explodes. I don't care how much it kills me to see you explode; you're my friend and right now we both need a friend. Benjy and Dorcas are dead. Every person in my dorm since first year is either dead or missing. Next year it's just going to be you, Michael, and me left in our year. That's not even the worst part. Black turns seventeen in December. I'll legally be his property in December and that is killing me. I'm only lucky that Adam managed to talk my parents into postponing our wedding until after school ends. Lily this war took so much from me. I can't lose my best friend now," Marlene begged.

Lily could see tears forming in her friend's eyes. If anyone would understand what she was going through it would be Marlene. Lily brushed some dust off her robes and enveloped Marlene into a tight hug. Her friend sobbed into her shoulder and Lily rubbed her back soothingly.

" It'll be alright Marlee, I'm not going anywhere. Black will have deal with me if he tries to do anything to you," Lily vowed. Marlene wrapped her arms around Lily and smiled weakly.

" Lily where were you during the summer? What happened to you?" Marlene asked. Lily bit her lip. She could trust Marlene. Lily could tell Marlene the truth. She could tell Marlene everything. She couldn't tell Michael everything. He had feelings for her. If he knew that James Potter would practically own her by spring, Lily was scared about what Michael would do.

" Marlene I'm going to tell you something but you're probably never going to trust me again," Lily started. She pulled out of her friend's hold.

" Meet me in the library after dinner ends. I'll be waiting near the section where pureblood history books are," Lily announced.

" Okay I'll meet you then," Marlene agreed. After that, the two girls headed up to the castle. Marlene went to the Great Hall to eat and Lily went up to their dorm to shower. After that she headed to the library and went directly to the wizarding family sections.

A glance at the clock told her that she had thirty minutes until Marlene would show up. Lily walked over to the section and slid her finger across the binding of the books. She pulled out her own family history book and went over to a table. Lily flipped the book open and immediately went to the middle. She pulled on a flap and the page expanded. As she looked through names dating back from 1000 A.D., Lily wasn't' surprised to see a few recognizable last names. She gulped when she saw the Potter name a few centuries before the current day. Her eyes went to the bottom and Lily felt her heart falter.

The books were charmed to update according to a family's position. So the fact that the dates of her parents' and deceased brothers were already recorded shouldn't have bothered her. Yet as Lily looked at the word deceased written in elegant cursive next to the names of half of her family, she couldn't suppress the pang of sadness.

Lily didn't want to worry for her family, but she had no choice. Blood is blood, and a part of Lily would always be a Gastor. She knew that Pericles would be okay. He was building a life in Greece; he was letting go of his past in England. She didn't know how Cassius was doing. He didn't have the loud and bold personalities of Jason and Julius. He was quiet and preferred a book to a conversation. But it was the little quirks about the Gastor family that made Lily love them.

Thinking of Jason brought shame to her. Lily may have renounced herself as a Gastor but that didn't mean that she should have been so cruel to her brother. At one point Jason was her best friend. Unlike their other brothers, Lily and Jason were not a year or even a decade apart. Since Lily was born prematurely, she and Jason had a six-month gap. Lily had never heard the gruesome story of the reason for her birth. Her parents told her that they didn't know if she would even live through the labor. But Lily did to their immense relief.

So many things separated Lily from her other brothers. She was the youngest of six children with the oldest being thirteen years older than her. Her brothers were also boys. They weren't immature and sexist, yet they couldn't include little Lily in their games since she was so delicate. But Jason didn't treat her like that.

Until his arrival at Charms School, Jason was closer than a brother to Lily. He was her best friend. He was the person she told every embarrassing secret to. Lily didn't like to think about how he used to sneak sweets from the kitchen for her. She didn't like to think about how he stayed with her when she was sick instead of playing Quidditch with the rest of her brothers. She didn't like to remember the friend she lost.

" Lils why are we meeting here?" a voice asked. Lily looked up from the book and met Marlene's electric blue eyes. She held the book open and motioned for Marlene to sit next to her and look at the book.

" Lily I think I've got the entire pureblood family history thing covered. I'm marrying a Black for merlin's sake," Marlene snorted. Lily smiled weakly and pulled her wand out.

" I don't think you've seen this part of it. Revelio," Lily said. She waved her wand over the page and let the hidden part of the family tree appear. Before her eyes, a name formed in the right corner of the most recent generation of the Gastors. Marlene's eyes widened at the site of the name,

" Lily Marie Gastor born January 30th, 1960 to William and Delphina Gastor," Marlene murmured. Lily could see her putting the pieces together. Marlene sucked in a breath and looked over at Lily.

" Shit you're a pureblood aren't you?" Marlene exclaimed in a low voice. Lily looked over at her friend with a weak smile.

" Yeah I am a pureblood," Lily said. She explained everything to Marlene that evening in the library. She told Marlene about her banishment, her magic, and her life in Greece and France. Lily did leave out the reason she was sent to France; she still hadn't told anyone about that. She told Marlene about her idea to take a muggleborn persona to escape their society. She told Marlene about her betrothal to Potter.

" Lils I'm sorry. It all really does make sense though. You've always had this tense relationship with Gastor and don't even get me started on Potter," Marlene exclaimed when Lily was done. Lily quickly veiled her name from the book and kept it back.

" What do you mean about Potter?" Lily asked. Marlene snorted and jumped up.

" Both of you either ogle each other during meals or glare at each other. I swear you haven't gone a single meal since you came here without glancing at him. It goes for him too. It's a bit strange how in sync you guys are with your stares quite frankly," Marlene babbled.

Lily considered this. Sure, she sometimes glanced at Potter, but that was only one a week or so. She didn't ogle him. Lily was certain about that. But Marlene did have a point. Lily did spend too much time thinking about Potter; it wasn't good. She had her entire life ahead of her to be trapped by Potter, so she shouldn't waste her last few months of freedom doing that.

" I'm sorry Lils. You're so brave. I'd never have the courage to leave behind my entire life and become someone else," Marlene pronounced.

" It's okay Marlee. I just took sometime to adjust to being hazed by Slytherins," Lily admitted.

" I won't tell anyone Lils, I promise. But you should tell our friends though," Marlene argued. Lily bit her lip as they exited the library. She wanted to tell them; but it was too risky.

" Michael knows everything but my situation with Potter," Lily revealed. Marlene nodded and a curious expression crossed her face.

" Lils have you ever had any feelings for Wood?" Marlene asked. Lily gulped and sped up.

" No I didn't and I don't. He's just too much like me. We'd burn each other to death. Michael needs someone who is going to tame his fire and not let him do anything stupid," Lily answered.

" He has feelings for you," Marlene said. Lily swallowed the bitter taste in her mouth and looked up.

" I know but even if I had any feelings for him, our relationship wouldn't last for more than seven months," Lily sighed. She could hear her feet pounding against the stone of the staircase. Marlene smiled at a few students who gawked at her for even spending time with Lily.

" Fabian never talks about the future. I think I should end it before anything gets too serious," Marlene explained.

" Marlee but you two are actually good together. Don't let go of your freedom until the day Black steals it from you. And then you need to keep fighting," Lily pointed out.

" A little hypocritical Lils. You're afraid to get close to people because of bloody James Potter. Fight for your freedom Lils," Marlene vowed. Lily knew that her friend was right. Yet she was scared. Lily was scared. She wasn't supposed to be afraid of anything.

" I don't want to feel anything Marlee," Lily murmured.

" You're human Lils. It's okay to be afraid," Marlene explained. Lily knew that she was right. Lily couldn't avoid and mistreat her friends forever; she had to fix the mess she created.

" Give me some time Marlee. I need to think," Lily said. Her friend nodded and they entered the Gryffindor Common Room. Lily heard loud laughter and looked over to the couches. Her heart faltered when she saw the other 5th and 6th year Gryffindors sitting around the fireplace. Some of them looked over at Marlene and her in surprise. Lily gulped when she saw Michael narrow his eyes.

" Playing Judas Marlee," Michael commented. Silences filled the common room as students watched the usually untied group fight.

" You're so pretentious Wood. It wasn't your right to lie about Lily," Marlene snarled. Lily could see Michael clenching his fists.

" I didn't lie. Marlee she just like them don't you see? She lies and has too many secrets. Lily is as bad as her family," Michael vowed. Lily couldn't repress the flinch from that comment. She looked up and met Michael's eyes. Lily wouldn't be afraid.

" I'm nothing like them. I've never killed any-," Lily started. She couldn't finish that sentence. She had killed someone. Lily shuddered at the memory. She couldn't think about that she refused to. That memory needed to stay buried and hidden. Michael smirked at her.

" What can't you finish that sentence? I wonder why?" Michael gloated. Lily balled her fists and took a step closer to him.

" You're such a hypocrite. Don't you remember what happened to Auclair? You wanted to leave him down there and let him die," Lily roared. Michael's eyes widened and Lily regretted her words. People watched them curiously. Who was Auclair?

" He was going to hand you over to Voldemort. He ripped my back to shreds. He deserved worse than death," Michael announced. Lily narrowed her eyes at him. " It's not up to you to decide when people die. It doesn't matter what he did; no one deserves to die like that," Lily said. She blinked and saw Benjy's body slamming into a tree and falling to the ground. Lily pushed those memories away and sighed.

" Marlee he isn't worth it. I've got patrol in a few minutes. Don't let me get in the way of friendships you've had for your entire life," Lily finished. Before Marlene or Michael could say anything, Lily quickly left the common room. She knew that is was the right thing to tell Marlene the truth.

Marlene was the only person who could truly understand what she was going through. Even Emmeline who was the only other Gryffindor girl stuck in a betrothal wouldn't understand. Emmeline loved Adam; she could never understand what Lily and Marlene were going through.

Footsteps echoed in the entrance hall. Lily looked up and met the pale blue eyes of Remus Lupin. She gulped and muttered a greeting to him. The pair headed down to the dungeons for their patrol.

" Do you know what classes you're taking next year?" Lupin asked suddenly. Lily looked up. They had walked in silence for the past thirty minutes and now his voice broke it.

" Transfiguration, Potions, DADA, Herbalogy, Charms, History of Magic, Care of Magical Creatures and maybe Divination," Lily answered. Lupin watched her curiously.

" Merlin Evans! Why are you taking so many classes?" Lupin commented. Lily wrapped her arms around her torso and smiled wryly.

" I've got issues sleeping. Having a lot of work may help with that," Lily answered. She was taking eight of the original nine classes. Lily was dropping Astronomy since she knew most of the NEWT level curriculum thanks to the Athenian School for Sorcery's high investment in Astronomy. If Dumbledore was okay with it, Lily planned on taking the NEWT test for Astronomy though.

Her sleeping patterns were too painful. Lily thought that prefect duties, Quidditch, and an abundance of schoolwork would help with that. She hoped that having so much work would make her too tired to even experience her nightmares.

" What about you?" Lily asked.

" Transfiguration, DADA, Potions, Charms, Herbalogy, and Care of Magical Creatures," Lupin answered.

" What about your mates?" Lily asked. Lupin sighed and rubbed his eyes. He had circles under his eyes that seemed to haunt him. But most of the older students had those.

" Worm- err I mean Jason is taking the same classes as me but he's taking Astronomy instead of Care of Magical Creatures. Sirius didn't pass the Herbalogy OWL so he's taking Charms, Potions, DADA, Transfiguration, and Divination. James is taking the same classes as me, but he's doing History of Magic instead of Care of Magical Creatures," Lupin said.

Lily wondered why Jason was taking Astronomy. Their mum had been thoroughly obsessed with the stars. She used to make them stay up late in the night and go outside for star gazing sessions. Lily's mum had been so proud of Julius for getting a NEWT in Astronomy.

It hit her like a bullet. Jason was taking Astronomy for the nostalgia of his childhood. Lily felt a pang of sadness for him. He didn't know how to cope without a family.

" How's Jason doing?" Lily asked Lupin. He looked at her strangely and looked away.

" Half of his family died in the last year. The other members of his family all abandoned him. How do you think he is doing?" Lupin said sarcastically. Lily pursed her lips and Lupin turned to her.

" It's none of my business to tell you this. I know I have enough of my own secrets but Jason would do the same thing I'm doing. Evans I don't know what's going on between the two of you but it needs to stop. He's fragile right now. Jason is too stubborn to ask for help. You know he was doing pretty well before you showed up in August. After that it was a spiral for the worse. He sent a letter to Dumbledore resigning from his prefect position. He even considered quitting Quidditch," Lupin listed.

Shock welled up inside of Lily. She knew that Jason was upset; but she didn't think he was this insane. He loved Quidditch; all of the Gastors did. Lily didn't care how much the sport reminded him of their family. He was too deep in mourning. It hurt Lily so much; more than she would care to admit.

Lily thought that she could let go of her family; but she couldn't. She wasn't a Gastor. Lily renounced that part of herself; yet it was clinging to her. Abandoning Jason was the right thing to do. Lily had to let him realize that she wasn't his sister anymore. But it hurt so much. Lily wasn't strong, like her mum. She loved Jason so much; yet she didn't have the strength to let her past go. Jason was family and she had to care about him.

" Patrol is over Evans. I'll see you in class tomorrow," Lupin shouted. Lily blinked and looked up. She didn't notice that they had walked to the Slytherin Common Room. She muttered a goodbye to Lupin and turned from the room.

Lily walked up to the seventh floor slowly. She was so tired, yet she couldn't sleep. Lily was scared of what her sleep would bring. She didn't want to see her friends dying. She didn't want to feel flames engulf her.

Lily jumped when she glanced at the wall. She was on the seventh floor in a corridor. A door had appeared suddenly in the middle of an empty wall. Lily remembered this happening to her before.

She opened the door and found a glossy pianoforte sitting in the middle of a blank room. Lily closed the door behind her with a small smile. A few minutes later music blasted from her fingers and she was at peace, at least for now.

* * *

" Lily did you get any sleep yesterday night?" a voice teased. Lily jumped up from her bowl and looked up. She gulped a yawn down and met Marlene's eyes. Lily rubbed her eyes and stretched her back.

She tightened the band of her ponytail and grinned sheepishly at Marlene. Lily felt guilty for separating Marlene and the other Gryffindors, but Marlene refused to sit anywhere but with her. When Lily returned to the dormitory early on Monday morning she slept for a few hours and Marlene woke her. The two entered the Great Hall and sat together, to the immense shock of most students.

Lily could feel judgmental stares on her back. After her cold treatment of the Gryffindors and their mutual feelings towards her gossip broke out. Lily particular was fond of the rumor that she attempted to shag every single available 6th and 7th year Gryffindor over the break.

" I managed a few hours," Lily admitted. She chewed on a slice of toast and let it slide down her throat. Lily didn't know why but she wasn't hungry anymore. She still ate but she felt full most of the time.

" We've got NEWTS Lils. Sleep is important for short people like you," Marlene said with a motherly tone. Lily raised her eyebrows. Marlene was taller than most girls their age, or in general. Lily stood at an average height of 5'6 but Marlene seemed to tower over her at 5'9.

" Marlee you're a giant. I'm perfectly average," Lily sniffed. Her friend grinned and glanced at Lily. Before Marlene could speak, a schedule landed next to Marlene. Lily looked up and blushed when she saw Alice briskly walking away from her. Marlene didn't seem to notice that.

" I've got Potions first what about you?" Marlene asked. Lily frowned and saw that Alice and Frank were done handing out schedules.

" I dunno I haven't' gotten mine yet," Lily revealed. She could hear the sharp click of heels coming from behind her and turned. Professor McGonagall was walking closer and closer to her.

" Miss Evans a word please," McGonagall ordered. People snickered around Lily. She rolled her eyes and stood. Lily walked over to her teacher.

" Miss Evans there seems to be a mistake in your schedule. I just looked at it and it seems as though you're signed up for eight classes. There must be some mistake. I doubt you could balance that much work, prefect duties, and captaining the Gryffindor team," McGonagall bristled. People turned to the pair eager to eavesdrop.

" There's no mistake Professor. I'm taking all of those classes," Lily answered. The stern older lady looked at Lily sharply.

" Miss Evans are you sure that you'll be able to handle this load? I wouldn't want to lose the four-year Quidditch Cup streak Gryffindor's had since their captain is too tired to play," McGonagall asked.

Lily clenched her jaw and looked down at the two badges sitting on her chest. She didn't want this but there was no way out of it.

" I didn't want to be captain Professor. Dumbledore knows that but he's not letting me resign. I don't plan on being the first captain to lose the Quidditch Cup in four years either," Lily vowed.

She knew that people were watching her. She could hear Justin Davies laughing at her brutally. But Lily didn't relent. Professor McGonagall sighed and glanced at her.

" Miss Evans as long as you maintain your grades and duties as captain and prefect I cannot do anything to restrict the amount of classes you're taking. But do remember that you barely made it into my NEWT class, I won't tolerate any slacking off," Professor McGonagall finished. Lily nodded and took her schedule from her teacher. She turned and blushed when she saw that a majority of the Gryffindor table was watching her. Lily turned her head and met a pair of amused hazel-eyes. She glared at him and sat with Marlene.

" I've got Potions too. Let's go down there," Lily announced.

" Okay," Marlene answered with a quick look around the hall. Lily clenched her fists when she saw that the Gryffindors were watching them. She could feel Michael's eyes staring at her critically. Marlene and her left the hall and headed down to the dungeons.

For some time the only sound Lily heard was the pounding of their shoes against the stone ground of the castle. She wrinkled her nose when she smelt the musty stench of the dungeons. When the pair reached the potions class Lily checked her watch.

They still had five minutes before Slughorn would open the classroom. Lily heard a group walking up to them and turned. Her nose hit a solid surface and Lily looked up at James Potter's smirking face. Lily jumped slightly and almost tripped. Potter grabbed her and wrapped his arms around hers; he seemed rather fond of doing that.

" Potter let go of me," Lily ordered. He smiled at her and his eyes looked down at the badge on her chest. His fingers moved to his chest and Lily could see an identical captain's badge on his chest. She gulped and stared into his eyes.

" I didn't know you were captain Evans. Isn't it a bit strange to give a student who hasn't been here for even a year the captain position?" Potter commented. Lily glared at him. She heard footsteps and knew that the rest of the Marauders had showed up.

" I've been playing Quidditch since you still wearing nappies," Lily growled. Potter looked at her with a gleam in his eyes. Lily immediately regretted her words.

" Evans you're muggleborn. How would you know anything about Quidditch?" Potter demanded. A small crowd had gathered around them. Lily narrowed her eyes at Potter; he was goading her.

" Potter I'm not daft. It's not going to work," Lily announced.

" What am I doing Evans? I just want to make sure that Gryffindor stands at chance for the Quidditch Cup," Potter answered innocently. Lily shoved her body out of his grip and pursed her lips. The door to the classroom was open, yet no one was going inside.

" Potter I have seven months so don't try anything now," Lily ordered. She shoved passed the members of the class and entered it. Marlene joined her and they sat near the front of the room. Lily pulled out her cauldron and textbook. She could hear students starting to enter the classroom.

" Where's Michael?" Lily asked. Michael wanted to be an auror so he had to take this class. As far as Lily knew, this was the only NEWT 6th year class for Potions. Before Marlene could answer her question, Lily saw Michael slink into the classroom.

He sat with a tall Ravenclaw boy. Michael glanced at her and Marlene. Lily blushed when she saw the anger in his eyes. He wasn't supposed to react this way. Lily couldn't take any more risks. Michael was too emotional to know the truth. Lily heard the bell ring and looked to the front of the classroom.

Professor Slughorn entered the room and took a quick survey of the members of the class. His eyes sparkled when he saw Lily.

" Miss Evans what a delight! I heard about the outstanding on your OWL. Quite impressive so few have managed to get one in the last decade," Slughorn boasted. Lily smiled weakly at him and he studied her.

" That's a lovely tan you've got," Slughorn commented. Lily could feel eyes tracing the golden glow to her skin curiously.

" I spent some of the summer in Greece," Lily answered with a blush. Slughorn's eyes traced the captain's badge on her chest.

" And you're captain too! Splendid, now you can finally attend one of my little-get-togethers without Quidditch practice getting in the way," Slughorn announced. Lily mumbled a response and he looked away.

Marlene laughed at Lily's expression. The idea of going to one of Slughorn's parties was too similar to pureblood parties. Lily felt that Slughorn was a good teacher, but a bit prejudiced.

" Now today I will be starting the NEWT year by showing a few of some of the more difficult potions to make. So if everybody please gather around the table in the front of the room," Slughorn barked.

The class was rather small. It consisted of the three Gryffindors, four Ravenclaws, one Hufflepuff, and the Marauders. Lily wondered where all of the Slytherin girls were. She expected the class to be small, but not this small. Lily and Marlene walked to the front of the room and managed to get a spot near the front of the table. The only downside to their situation was that two Ravenclaw boys were standing directly behind them.

" For the duration of this course we will be working with some rather difficult potions. I've made some potions that you will be able to make after the completion of you NEWT. Now can anyone tell me which potion this is?" Slughorn started.

The class spent the period learning about potions such as Armotentia and Felix Felicis. After the class period ended, Lily went with Marlene to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. When the pair reached the classroom Lily felt a surge of anxiety overcome her. She shivered at the memory of her past experiences with Professor Gladstone.

The desks were pushed to a corner of the room and there was a wide empty space in the center. Lily remembered Professor Gladstone's limited tolerance for written lessons. She and Marlene stood in the center of the room and watched as people entered the room.

As the bell rang Lily assessed that there was about twenty members of the class. It was larger than most NEWT classes, but during times like these many people wanted to be able to protect themselves. There were three Gryffindors, six Slytherins including the pretentious Cecilia Parkinson and Cressida Zabini, five Hufflepuffs, and six Ravenclaws. Marlene waved at a pair of Hufflepuff girls. They ignored her and continued to gawk at the Marauders. Lily wondered why they Marauders would even bother to take this class. Michael stood with a group of Ravenclaw boys that Marlene told Lily were the Quidditch lovers of Hogwarts.

Lily didn't know how to feel about Michael not being able to play. She felt a surge of sympathy for him; she couldn't imagine a life without Quidditch. She looked to the front of the room when the bell rang. She watched as Professor Gladstone entered the room and took her wand out.

" Hello class I am Professor Judea Gladstone. I will be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts this year. Most of you managed to barely get into the class. The few who scraped an Outstanding, well I doubt that they actually deserved it," Professor Gladstone started. An accent warped around her words.

Her eyes landed on Lily's figure when she said her last comment. Lily blushed and ducked her head. She almost forgot how cynical her old teacher was.

" We'll be starting today with duels. I will be pairing you in groups of two. One by one each group will duel until one person surrenders," Professor Gladstone announced. Whispers broke out across the room. People were anxious to show their teacher their best. Lily wasn't though; she knew that Professor Gladstone would never give her a compliment.

" Cressida Zabini and Marlene McKinnon. Sirius Black and Melissa Stevies. Remus Lupin and Penelope Weston. Since Katie Michelson is absent we will have a group of three. James Potter, Jason Gastor, and Lily Evans," Professor Gladstone announced.

Lily glared at her teacher; who merely smirked at her. She joined Potter and Jason in the audience. Lily watched as Professor Gladstone traced Jason's figure. She couldn't hide the curiosity in her eyes.

The room was silent except for the two duelers. By the time Marlene was called up, half of the period had passed. Michael managed to have his partner on the ground, without a wand, in a mere minute. Lily smiled at Marlene who used a quick disarming spell on Zabini.

Black's duel was a bit unfair. Lily didn't miss the sadistic grin that crossed his face as he sent a harsh stunning spell at Stevies. She glared at him as two Hufflepuffs took Melissa to the hospital wing. After Lupin finished his duel Professor Gladstone turned to Lily with a sick grin.

" I have an idea. Why don't we try a little double-teaming? Evan versus Potter and Gastor," Professor Gladstone declared. Lily knew that something like this was coming.

" I'm sorry Professor but isn't that a little unfair for Lily?" Jason commented. Professor Gladstone ignored him and faced Lily.

" Evans is this an issue?" Gladstone requested. Lily narrowed her eyes and shook her head. She walked to the center of the room and took her wand out. Potter watched her with concern as Professor Gladstone announced the start of the duel.

She stared at Potter and Jason. Before they could do anything Lily sent a nonverbal spell at Jason who was glaring at Professor Gladstone. His wand shot out of his wand and into Lily's and he flew back into a pile of desks.

" Gastor is out," someone called out. Lily threw his wand in his direction and turned to Potter. His hazel eyes sparkled as he watched Lily.

" Avis," Lily shouted. She knew that Professor Gladstone would want a good duel that lasted for sometime. A flock of small birds rose from her wand and she raised her wand.

" Opuggno," Lily declared. The birds turned to Potter and shot like arrows at his figure. Before they could reach their target Potter moved his wand through the air in a slicing motion. The birds stopped and fell to the ground. Lily gulped; how did Potter know nonverbal magic?

He watched her with a sadistic gleam in his eyes. Lily leaned forward and knew that this duel wasn't going to end with a simple disarming charm. They two dueled as though they were dancing. Potter shot hexes at Lily who would respond with a sly jinx.

Lily ducked as a spell hit the desk behind her. It transformed into a rug. Potter preferred using transfiguration spells. Lily was abusing charms though. Twenty minutes into the duel, Lily was covered in a light layer of sweat. The class watched her and Potter as they circled each other.

" Incendio," Potter shouted. Lily froze as flames fanned out from his wand. She didn't move as they stretched towards her. Lily was stuck to the ground. She blinked and memories swarmed behind her eyes. A breath rose from her chest raggedly. Lily knew that there was no way she could duel Potter no. Yet she refused to surrender.

" Aqua Erecto," Lily croaked. A small stream of water shot from her wand but before it could make contact with the fire, Lily swooned and collapsed. She fell to the ground and felt the flames inch closer and closer to her. But Lily couldn't do anything; she was trapped in her memories.

Right before the spell hit her something shoved her and pulled her up. Lily coughed and choked for air. She looked up and met Michael's eyes. They stared at her in confusion.

" Mr. Potter is the winner of the duel due to Mr. Wood's interruption of it. Miss Evans poor technique, some of the worst I've seen. I hoped that you would be at least decent at dueling from all the time I invested in teaching you," Professor Gladstone called out.

Lily glared at her and bit back the sharp comment. She shoved out of Michael's hold and wrapped her arms around her chest. People watched her. They seemed to be waiting for the infamous redhead temper that Lily held. But it never came. Lily heard the bell ring and turned to Professor Gladstone.

" At least I didn't get my parents killed," Lily snarled. The class silenced as Professor Gladstone clenched her fists in rage.

" Twenty points from Gryffindor and a week of detention Miss Evans," Professor Gladstone barked. Lily nodded; it was worth it. The class watched her as she grabbed her bag and strode out of the room.

She could remember that night in Greece. She could see the full moon high in the sky. She could feel her childhood innocence biting at her as she tried to help. Lily could hear screams of pain and howling as she turned around the corner of the corridor.

She was remembering too much.

Lily could see the faces of her grandparents as a werewolf clawed their hearts out.

* * *

**Sorry for the wait!**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	11. Mercy

**Chapter 11 Mercy**

**(****Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree****)**

* * *

" This is really your fault you know," Marlene snickered.

Lily glared at her and finished the last sentence to her Potions essay. A cramp spread across Lily's hand and she massaged it. Ink splattered across the hand in patches of blue.

Lily stood and quickly slid her potions and DADA homework into her desk. She still had some Transfiguration work to do. Her fingers ripped a textbook open and she began scrawling an essay out. Unlike Marlene, Lily didn't have three free periods the following day. On Monday she had Potions, DADA, Transfiguration. The next day, Lily had Divination, Care of Magical Creatures, and Charms. On Wednesday she had History of Magic, Herbalogy, and a much needed free period.

So far, she had three essays due on Thursday. Lily managed to finish two of them and she started the third. Lily knew that the year was going to be rough unless she managed her time well. She managed to finish her DADA homework before patrol and start the Potions essay on the Draught of the Living Dead. Her class would be starting that potion on Thursday.

Marlene soon went to sleep but Lily remained awake. She still had to finish her Transfiguration essay and then plan out the Quidditch practice for the following day. Lily knew that she would be up for another two hours at the minimum. She was almost disgusted by the relief this gave her.

Fear of her nightmares kept Lily from sleeping. She knew that it was petty to take a large workload to keep her up, but Lily had no other option. She didn't trust herself to remain awake by reading a book. That didn't work over the summer. The only solution was an excessive workload.

An hour later, Lily kept her Transfiguration essay and textbook inside of her desk. She cleaned her supplies and stretched her back. Lily wasn't done yet. But her uniform was cutting into her back painfully. She got up and rolled her shoulder blades as she slid into a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. After keeping her stuff away, Lily grabbed a notebook she set aside for Quidditch and started planning out practice for the next day.

Around one in the morning, Lily frowned at what she wrote. She watched Trevor fly and practice the seeker position during their lunch period so no one would see them. Trevor was amazing at seeking, but he needed more conditioning; the whole team needed more conditioning.

A yawn inched out of Lily's mouth and she kept the notebook down on her bedside table. Words swarmed behind her eyes as Lily stretched her fingers out. She checked the clock across the room, but the numbers swirled together. Lily knew that she should try and stay up but she was so tired.

She fell asleep and was engulfed by nightmares. Lily woke up in the early morning with a jolt. She could feel sweat trickle down her back and rubbed her eyes. It was early. With a glance at the clock, Lily saw that it was almost five. She stood and tiptoed over to the restroom. After brushing her teeth Lily slide into the shower and let the scent of her strawberry conditioner relax her.

When Lily finished her shower she changed into her uniform and grabbed the textbooks and supplies she needed for the classes she had today. Her hair hung in sleek curtains around her after she dried it. Lily wrinkled her nose and pulled it up into a ponytail. She slid her shoes on and woke Marlene up. While Marlene was showering Lily left the dorm and headed down to the common room. Lily didn't want to be rude, but Gryffindors weren't morning people. Most of her housemates skipped breakfast in favor of sleeping in. The common room was practically empty. There was a group of third years sitting around the fireplace arguing over some ancient runes homework.

Lily stepped around them and exited the common room. Voices echoed in the hallway and Lily greeted a few of the portraits. Eventually she reached the Great Hall and entered it. It was almost six and the Great Hall was close to empty.

The Gryffindor table was entirely empty. The Hufflepuff table included a few girls who seemed more concerned about their make up then actually eating. A group of Ravenclaws sat in a cluster. Lily remembered that they were members of the dueling club. Some of them looked up at her and seemed to remember Benjy Fenwick.

Lily ducked her head and took a seat towards the front of the Gryffindor table. She grabbed an apple and began slicing it. Ever since she was a kid she couldn't stand biting into an apple. Lily glanced over at the Slytherin table. A group of seventh year boys sat in a group whispering. They looked to the roof. Lily assumed that they were waiting for a package.

One of them looked over at her. Lily froze as he mouthed mudblood at her. She couldn't prevent the blush that crept on her cheeks. Lily turned and heard the laughter of the Slytherins. She jumped in her seat when she met a pair of brown eyes.

" Dammit Michael don't do that," Lily exclaimed. She held her hand to her chest and tried to control her pulse. Michael raised her eyebrows with a wry expression and sat across from her. Lily watched him curiously. He looked almost uncomfortable. Lily wondered why he was awake. Michael usually slept in.

" You're having issues sleeping, aren't you?" Lily goaded when she realized the only reason Michael Wood would even get up before eight. He looked over at her. Lily could clearly see the bags under his eyes. She used a concealing charm on her own. Yet as Michael looked at her she knew that he could see them.

" You're one to talk Evans. I know why you're taking all those classes. Marlee told me that you didn't sleep until two in the morning on Monday. And you leave the dorm before anyone is awake," Michael responded. Lily blushed and took a sip of pumpkin juice. She couldn't prevent the expression of distaste that crept on her face.

" Ugh I don't know why pumpkin juice is the only drink here," Lily muttered.

" There's coffee," Michael said dryly. He pointed to a large pot and Lily looked over at it. She wrinkled her nose at it.

" I hate coffee. It taste vile," Lily answered. She grabbed the pot of tea and poured herself a cup. Michael watched her and poured himself a cup of black coffee. Lily waited for him to keep some sugar or milk into it, but he didn't. Instead he took a large gulp of the liquid.

" That's the most dreadful thing I've seen all day," Lily said with a shudder. She grabbed the honey and sugar and kept liberal amounts into her tea.

" Evans there's a reason coffee beans are naturally sweet," Michael commented. Lily mixed her tea and took a sip.

" Well what you did is unnatural. I'm considering getting an exorcism done," Lily commented.

" What's an exorcism?" Michael asked. He loaded his plate with toast and waffles. Lily watched him grab a bowl of porridge and start eating.

" A muggle thing," Lily answered. Michael looked up from his food with a question on his lips.

" How do you know so much about muggles?" Michael asked. Lily bit her lip and pushed her plate away. Michael's eyes widened as he saw that she barely ate the apple on her plate.

" Not all of us were raised in wizarding communities. My godfather was obsessed with muggles. He used to take me and Benjy out to muggle Paris and explore the place," Lily admitted fondly.

" Benjy? Who's Benjy?" Michael asked. Lily's face fell as she realized what she said. Her eyes immediately jumped to the bandages peaking out from his shirt. Michael saw where she was looking and frowned.

" Right that Benjy. That one who tortured us for a day," Michael said in a mockingly fond tone. Lily felt hurt rise inside of her but pushed it down. A silence filled the two as Michael ate. He looked at Lily uncomfortably and cleared his throat. " Adam told me about what you did with the positions on the team. Are you sure that was smart?" Michael asked. Lily narrowed her eyes and leaned forward.

" I'm not daft Wood. I don't plan on losing the Quidditch cup anytime soon," Lily answered.

" That's good Evans, I wouldn't want to win the Cup since Gryffindor chose a girl to be their captain," a voice announced. Lily felt rage fill her as she turned. She met the smirking deep blue eyes of Justin Davies. Lily glared at him and crossed her arms.

" Davies I honestly don't understand why girls even bother to date a sexist prat like yourself," Lily commented humorously. Davies watched her and grinned. His eyes traced her figure in a leer.

" Evans don't take it personally. I mean sure you've got a hot body, but we all know that I'm a better seeker," Davies said. Lily could feel her temper coming.

" If I recall I think I was the one to catch the snitch during last year's final match," Lily said with a cruel voice. Davies narrowed his eyes. Lily could feel the stares of the people in the Great Hall.

" Evans you're forgetting that the first match of the year is Slytherin versus Gryffindor. Without Wood as Keeper, Potter and Gastor will get enough points so that it won't even matter if you catch the snitch," Davies boasted.

"Justin I think you're wrong about that," Michael called out from behind Lily. She whirled around and saw Michael watching her and Davies.

" Care to bet on that Wood?" Davies asked. Michael stood with a cocky grin.

" Twenty galleons," Michael said. Davies nodded and the two shook hands.

" I feel almost cruel for taking money from an invalid like you," Justin told Michael. Lily's wand was pointed into Justin's chest before he could even move.

" I'd be careful about what you say Davies. Michael took a death eater on only hours after being released from Mungos," Lily commented.

Davies nodded and took a step back. Most people had heard that a few teenagers were present during the Battle of the Ministry. It didn't take them that long to realize that those students were the Gryffindors and some of the Slytherins.

" Watch your back Evans. That pretty face of yours may not get you so far," Davies taunted as he left. Lily narrowed her eyes at his retreating figure. She turned and saw that Michael was glaring at her.

" What did I do? I was the person who stood by you," Lily asked. Michael snorted and looked at her.

" I don't need your help Evans. I got along when you ditched me this summer," Michael said. Lily glared at him.

" You're so petty. We're not dating or anything. I don't have to tell you every bloody secret I have," Lily shot back. The Great Hall was starting to fill. Lily could feel hot eyes watching, almost glaring at her back.

" Dammit Lily that's not what I want and you know that," Michael shouted. His voice echoed across the hall and Lily heard silence. She pursed her lips and stared at him.

" No it really is what you want though. You want me to swoon like a bloody damsel in distress whenever something bad happens," Lily argued. She couldn't hold her accent from slipping into her words.

" You're so daft. I don't want anything from you. I needed you. I saw you every single day Lily. I saw your chest being ripped apart and that fucking scream come out of your throat," Michael shouted.

" Stop making everything about you! Guess what Michael I didn't just hear myself getting ripped apart from the inside; I felt it. You act as those I need to be some sort of bloody anchor for you, but I can't I need someone to keep me from drowning and you can't," Lily roared. She blinked, but no tears came. They seemed to evaporate from the rage she was feeling.

" Oh is that why you were snogging that auror on the platform? I can really see how difficult you've had it," Michael scoffed. Lily glared at him.

" Go to hell Wood," Lily seethed quietly. She grabbed her bag and turned from the hall. Lily could feel the heated stares of the Gryffindors blur into the stares of the teachers and other students. She exited the hall and walked up the stairs. Each footstep slammed into the ground viciously.

Lily let her body carry her to the Divination Tower. Yet before she made it to the tower, someone grabbed her. Lily felt her magic push against the prison she trapped it in as she turned. She glared at the form of Professor Gladstone.

" You lied to me," Professor Gladstone commented. Lily bit her tongue and felt blood enter her mouth. Professor Gladstone smirked at her.

" That was some scene you made in the Great Hall. I love dining while watching theatrics like that," Professor Gladstone announced. Lily growled and pulled her arm out of the teacher's grip.

" What do you want?" Lily demanded. Her teacher smirked at her and pulled out a small object. Lily saw it flash and could tell that it was a mirror.

" It's not what I want. It's what you want. Take a look at your eyes," Professor Gladstone mentioned. Lily grabbed the mirror and held it up to her face. She sucked in a breath when she saw the color of her irises.

" You told me that you had your magic under control. Right now you're displaying the same control that you had when you were ten," Professor Gladstone commented. Lily paled and pulled at her skin. Her eyes weren't their typical emerald-green. Flames seemed to lance out of her eyes. Lily dropped the mirror to her side and blinked. The last time she lost control of something as simple as her eye color, she was still a prepubescent little girl.

" I had it under control. But there were certain circumstance where I had to release it," Lily admitted. Her teacher wore a smug expression.

" I thought that I told you to keep it under lock and key," Professor Gladstone observed.

" Well I think that the usage of the cruciatus curse pretty much gives me free rule," Lily answered.

" I heard about that. Ironic isn't it. I remember you babbling on about Benjy Auclair and he turned out to be some evil death eater," Professor Gladstone said.

" Just like how your husband turned out to be a bloodthirsty werewolf," Lily responded. She regretted her words instantly. Professor Gladstone's face dimmed but she didn't falter.

" You still have a detention with me on Friday evening Evans," Professor Gladstone commented.

Lily nodded and turned from her old teacher. She couldn't take back her words, but Judea Gladstone couldn't take back those horrible actions. Lily heard the bell ring and broke into a sprint.

Thanks to her run-in with Professor Gladstone Lily was officially late to her first class of the day. She skipped steps as she sprinted up the tower's staircase. The scent of lavender and tea hit her nose as she reached the open arch at the top of the door.

Eyes turned to her as she gasped from the doorway. Professor Omina turned to Lily.

" Miss Evans Divination isn't something to be late to," Professor Omina said.

" I was speaking with Professor Gladstone. You can ask her," Lily responded. Her teacher pursed her lips and looked around the class. Lily saw that there were only ten students in this class. A pair of Hufflepuff girls kept glancing towards the back of the room and giggled. Two Hufflepuff boys were sitting near an open window sharing a cigarette. A group of four Ravenclaw girls were sitting in the middle of the classroom doing their nails under the table. Just like the Hufflepuff girls they kept glancing back.

" There's an empty seat next to Mr. Black. Miss Evans please take it," Professor Omina ordered. Lily paled and looked at the back of the room. She could see Sirius Black sitting in the desk farthest from the front of the room. His feet were kicked up on the surface of the desk and he was holding a mirror. Lily frowned when she saw him almost whispering to the mirror.

" Do I need to have a partner?" Lily asked. Her teacher smiled and said a sugary sweet order for Lily to either sit with Black or leave the classroom. Lily sighed and stomped over to Black. The Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw girls shot her envious stares, which Lily rolled her eyes at.

Her bag was thrown on the ground next to the desk. Lily took the chair and pulled it as far from Black as she could. When she sat he looked up with a devilish stare.

" Mudblood Evans. I didn't expect you to take this class," Black drawled. Lily pursed her lips and pulled her textbook out of her bag. She straightened a piece of parchment and began writing the notes Professor Omina left for them.

A few minutes later, Lily gritted her teeth. Why was Black talking to a mirror? She turned to him and plucked the mirror out of his long fingers.

" Black I know that you're narcissistic, but talking to your reflection is just petty," Lily commented. Gray eyes flashed into hers and Lily smirked at Black. She glanced at the mirror and dropped it in shock.

" Shit is that Potter?" Lily asked. Black grabbed the mirror and Lily could see Potter's eyes watching her with amusement. Black grinned at her and pulled one of his curls from his head.

" Prongs look at whose my new desk partner. It's little mudblood Evans," Black goaded. Lily glared at him and Potter scoffed.

" How does that work?" Lily asked. She plucked the mirror from Black's fingers and traced the carved gold frame. It was a hand mirror with a rounded frame and gilded sides. Lily could see Potter's top half in the mirror, instead of her reflection. His hair looked wind-swept and he watched her with all-knowing eyes.

" It's a two way mirror Evans," Potter revealed. Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

"This is even more pathetic Black. You couldn't go a mere hour without Potter. That's almost cute," Lily said. She tossed the mirror to Black and turned to the front of the room. Her fingers curled around a quill as she took notes.

" Prongs why won't you just write to the bloke?" Black asked. Lily glared at her parchment and cursed Black's loud voice internally.

" Filch is monitoring the letters Padfoot. I bring any dark objects into the castle without Dumbledore finding out," Potter answered. Lily narrowed her eyes and looked at Black from the corner of her eye.

" Look Prongs we'll just meet with Malfoy in Hogsmeade then," Black suggested. Lily turned to him; how could they get to Hogsmeade if the trips were banned? She remembered Jason showing her that passageway behind the statue of the one-eyed witch.

" Fine I'll owl him to meet us on Friday at midnight in the Hog's Head," Potter announced. Lily took note of this and scribbled the date and time on her Divination homework. Black and Potter were up to something; and Lily was determined to find out what.

" Marlee Care of Magical Creatures is horrid. There are only ten people in it and I got assigned to be Lupin's partner. The course is bollock too. All we're doing this year is researching a magical creature that we're assigned to," Lily exclaimed.

She took a bite of her sandwich and Marlene raised an eyebrow at her. The two had just finished Quidditch practice and were in the Great Hall for dinner. Lily told Marlene all about her Care of Magical Creatures class, while Marlene ranted to Lily about NEWT Muggle Studies.

" What creature were you assigned?" Marlene asked. Lily shoved a clump of her hair out of her face and took a sip of her water.

" The werewolf," Lily revealed. She remembered how she almost burst into laughter when she found out that she was studying a creature that Remus was all too familiar with. Lily wrinkled her nose and finished her sandwich.

" I'm going to the library. Lupin and I've got a study session for our project," Lily told Marlene. She grabbed her bag and looked at Marlene. Lily bit her lip when she saw that Marlene was looking at Fabian.

" Marlee don't let me get in the way of you and Fabian," Lily announced. Marlene looked up and blushed slightly. She cleared her throat and faced Lily.

" It's not that. Fabian and I've been fighting lately. I think it's the fact that Black is turning seventeen soon," Marlene said wistfully.

" Marlene don't give up just because of Black," Lily called out.

" Well that's what you're doing. Lily stop pushing them away. They're your friends, they won't leave you for being a pureblood. Lily I accepted you, give them the same chance," Marlene announced.

Lily knew that Marlene was right. She lied so much that her web was slowly choking her. Eventually her lies would catch up with her. But she had time; a limited amount though.

" Nice try Marlee. I'm good for now. I'll see you up in the dorm," Lily called. She slung her bag over her shoulder and exited the Great Hall. The castle was silent. Even Lily's footsteps seemed to blend into the silence. Lily repressed a shiver and continued towards the library.

She entered it and saw that Lupin was already inside. He sat in the back and bit the top of his quill as he looked at an essay. Lily walked over to his desk and sat across from him. Her knees hit his and he looked up.

" Evans," Lupin greeted. Lily nodded at him and pulled her textbook out. She grabbed a sheet of parchment and turned to Lupin.

" We're supposed to start with a history of werewolves and have a presentation for it by next Thursday. So today we could start by taking notes," Lily suggested. Lupin nodded and Lily started copying stuff from her textbook. An hour later, she and Remus were still in the library, but they weren't working on their presentation, the two began to work on their Charms homework together.

The meeting seemed to start off awkwardly, but slowly the two settled. Lily remembered how she used to meet with Lupin to study last year. That was before she found out that he was a death eater.

" Avifors is the charm for birds right?" Lupin asked. Lily looked up and blinked. She was almost with her Charms assignment, but Lupin was nowhere close. She leaned over and took a glance at his essay. A giggle escaped her mouth and she looked up at Lupin with an amused expression.

" It's Avis. You've written about the charm to conjure a flock of birds," Lily commented. A groan escaped Lupin's mouth and he looked at his essay.

" You're right. I knew something seemed off about my essay. Charms isn't really my best subject. I barely got an Exceeds Expectations in it," Lupin admitted to Lily.

" We've all got our weaknesses," Lily quipped. Lupin chuckled and looked at her with an amused expression.

" Not you though. You got a passing grade on every single OWL you took," Lupin said. Lily blushed; how did he know about that?

" Slughorn. He talks about you a lot. The bloke is almost infatuated with you. He calls you Lovely Lily," Lupin answered. Lily grimaced at his note.

" Slughorn is a good teacher I suppose. He shows a bit of favoritism though. His parties remind me of those horrid pureblood balls," Lily said with a slight shudder. Lupin looked up at her and she could feel his curious eyes on her back.

" How would you know about pureblood balls?" Lupin demanded. Lily ducked her head and cursed. She kept dropping small things that proved her lies wrong.

" You've made a few mistakes in this essay. I could review your essays for you if you want," Lily suggested. Lupin looked at her skeptically and nodded.

" I'd appreciate that. If you want I could look at your Transfiguration work. I heard McGonagall's rant in the Great Hall," Lupin suggested. Lily smiled weakly at him.

" That would be grand," Lily said. Lupin smiled weakly at her and checked his watch.

" Curfew is soon. I'll walk you to your common room," Lupin suggested. Lily kept her stuff away and shook her head.

" It's fine. I can walk by myself," Lily stated as the pair walked to the entrance to the library. Lupin looked conflicted.

" I'm sure you can. But under circumstances like these, I'd prefer to make sure you don't get into any trouble," Lupin argued. Lily narrowed her eyes at him but didn't put up a fight. Why was Lupin being so nice to her? He volunteered to patrol with her, he didn't make any offensive comments, and he was walking her to her common room even though it was seven floors above his.

" Why are you being so nice to me?" Lily demanded. Lupin blushed slightly and walked a bit faster. Lily struggled to keep up with his long gait.

" I'm just being courteous," Lupin responded. Lily pursed her lips and jumped in front of Lupin. She glared up at him.

" Death eaters aren't supposed to be nice to mudbloods," Lily pointed out. Lupin paled and crossed his arms.

" What are you talking about Evans?" Lupin asked with a pathetic laugh.

" Cut the crap Lupin. I know that you and the rest of the Marauders are Death Eaters. I saw Potter at the Battle of the Ministry," Lily said in a serious tone. Lupin gulped and looked down.

" I'm not going to tell Dumbledore. He already knows about that and won't bother to do anything. I just don't understand why you would be a death eater," Lily announced. Lupin shuffled awkwardly and cleared his throat.

" Evans when the Dark Lord asks for your assistance it would be suicide to decline," Lupin answered. Lily narrowed her eyes and stared up at Remus.

" Remus you don't think like those purists. You're brave Remus. I can't believe that you were afraid of Voldemort's wrath," Lily argued. Lupin slumped and looked into her eyes with a defeated expression.

" Evans do you have friends that have sacrificed so much for you so you would do anything for them?" Lupin demanded. Lily blinked and saw Marlene's twinkling eyes and Galen's open arms. She nodded stiffly and Lupin continued.

" My friends looked passed my flaws and accepted me. I joined the death eaters to be with them," Lupin croaked.

Lily snored and took a step back.

" We've had this same conversation before Remus. I told you that friends look past someone's flaws and don't ask for anything in return. Remus I honestly think that you're a good person. But you're just as bad as your friends if you think for a second that killing innocent people is okay if you're doing it for your friends," Lily proclaimed. Lupin's eyes flashed and he snorted.

" Don't give me that Evans. You've got Jason and Prongs wrapped around your finger. Why else would Jason ask for me to make sure that you're safe on patrols and in the hallway?" Lupin snorted.

Lily blinked. Why would Jason still want to look out for her? She did nothing but hurt him over and over again. Why couldn't he let go of her and see that they weren't family anymore.

" Tell Jason that he needs to stop living in the past and let me go. As for Potter, well that's a bit too personally," Lily said. She turned from Remus and saw the Portrait of the Fat Lady. Lily walked up to it, but Lupin grabbed her hand. She turned and saw a desperate expression on his face.

" I'm not a bad person. I may have done some bad things, but that doesn't make me bad," Remus argued. There was a hopeless tone in his voice. Lily gulped and looked into his eyes.

" Lupin we're all losing the good that we try to keep. The difference is that you are throwing away everything that is good about you to make others happy," Lily finished. She pulled her hand out of Lupin's and turned.

Lily heard him walk away and wrapped her arms around her chest. She hated the way this war was taking everything goof about Remus. It was turning him into the monster that he didn't want to be. But it was Lupin's life to ruin. Lily couldn't do anything for him; it was up to him to decide if he should let the monster rule over the man, or let the man control the monster.

Lily spent the night in a tumultuous sleep. She woke up and grabbed her head from shock. Blood pooled inside of her mouth and Lily clambered out of her bed. She went to the bathroom and flicked the light on. Her appearance disgusted her. Lily rubbed her eyes and spat the blood out of her mouth. She bit her lip in her sleep and a small cut was present on the tip of it.

A scowl graced her face as Lily pulled her hair into a sloppy ponytail. She brushed her teeth and shuddered at the blood on her toothpaste. Lily took a quick shower and changed into her uniform. She wrapped her hair into a tight braid and kept a concealing charm on her birthmark and the bags under her eyes. After grabbing her bag, Lily glanced at the clock. It was five in the morning; Lily doubted that the Great Hall was even open yet.

But she couldn't stay in her dorm. Lily sighed and reluctantly set her bed, the muggle way, and cleaned her desk. She kept her homework away and closed the latch on her trunk. She grabbed her bag and left the room. Silence filled her as she left the Gryffindor Common Room. A yawn escaped her open mouth and Lily stretched her back. She made it to the entrance hall and saw the Black Lake.

The sun was just starting to appear in the early morning sky. Lily smiled at the flashes of light pinks and purples. She walked to one of the open areas of the school and slid out to the grounds. A breeze hit her arms and Lily smiled. She took a breath of the clear and crisp Scottish air. Lily's feet carried her over to the Black Lake.

She watched the water lap at the small sandy banks of the lake. Waves formed in the middle of the lake in a languid pattern. A flock of birds flew over Lily's head and she could see the moon starting to set. Lily relaxed and kept her bag down by the tall white oak tree near the lake. She glanced at the carvings decorating the wood, before turning back to the Lake.

Lily leaned her head up and stared at the sky. It seemed so blue, impossibly blue. Clouds stretched across the horizon in a dance. The sun arched over the edge of the sky. It's rays burst out in colors. She closed her eyes and could feel the sun hitting her back. Lily sighed and could hear her heart beat.

" It's the start of a new day," a voice murmured behind her. Lily could feel the owner's hot breath hit her neck. Her eyes bolted open and Lily turned. She met a pair of amused hazel-eyes and glared at Potter.

" I'm more of a dusk person," Lily answered dryly. She attempted to move but Potter blocked her. He wore a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that was covered in a light layer of sweat. Lily remembered him telling her that he liked to run in the morning right before dawn.

" I know that. I remember you telling me that, right before you obliviated me," Potter said in a wry tone. Lily looked up at him in shock. How could he remember that? Potter seemed to notice her face and chuckled.

" Luckily for me you're not too good at obliviation charms. It must run in the family, Jason is shite at them too," Potter jibed. Lily glowered at his smarmy face and he tapped the tip of her nose.

" Don't say that Potter. I'd prefer for this to stay between Michael, Marlene, Dumbledore, Jason, you, and me," Lily voiced. A look of annoyance crossed Potter's face.

" How long did Wood and McKinnon know?" he growled. Lily looked at him in confusion but still answered his question.

" Michael has known since March and I told Marlene on Sunday," Lily answered. A look of vexation crossed Potter's face when she said that. Lily felt his arms circle her waist and hold her tightly. She tried to move out of his grip but he pulled her closer. Lily wrinkled her nose and struggled against his sweaty body.

" Potter let go of me! You smell like a Neanderthal," Lily exclaimed. Potter didn't let go of her and Lily squirmed out of his grip. She glared at him and used a refreshing charm on her body.

" Why did you tell Wood?" Potter demanded. Lily straightened her shirt and glanced up at him. She brushed a strand of hair out of her eye and looked at Potter. Anger shone in his eyes and he crossed his arms. Lily smiled at him with realization.

" You're jealous," Lily said in an amused tone. Potter scoffed, but Lily could see that he was hiding something.

" Evans I'm not some ponce like Wood who spends his time mooning over you. You're mine, whether you want to be or not," Potter gloated. Lily narrowed her eyes and grabbed her bag.

" Seven months Potter. Until then I can do whatever I want," Lily growled. She began walking away from Potter but he grabbed her arm.

" Evans don't play hard to get. You know that you want me, it's just that you're too much of a stubborn bitch to say it out loud," Potter announced. Lily wrenched her hand from Potter's and slapped him across the face.

" I don't see why girls would be interested in an arrogant arse like you. Potter I'd rather go out with the Giant Squid then even touch you," Lily shouted. She shoved passed Potter and headed inside of the castle without a glance back.

She never saw James Potter's face falter for a second. She never saw him quickly stitch the pieces of his heart back together and grin at her retreating. He had a plan to win her over, but Lily didn't know this.

Later that day, Lily entered her History of Magic Class. She had just gone through a horrible Herbalogy class where she was forced to work with Jason. Lily avoided speaking to him as much as possible as they dissected the body of an unfertilized mandrake. Marlene had been assigned to work with Michael and Lily was left to work with the one person she wanted to avoid, other than Potter.

After the awkward class, Lily left and headed towards History of Magic. Marlene had a free period for the rest of the day, but Lily had class. She groaned and pulled the strap of her bag over her shoulder. Her feet pounded against the surface of the stone floor as she rushed to History of Magic. Lily couldn't be late. She was late to every single class she had in the past day.

She broke into a sprint and shoved through crowds of students. The cries and shouts of outrage blended into the background as she ran. Lily jumped up several stairs and rushed to the History of Magic classroom. Right as she entered the room the bell rang. Lily looked around and saw that there were less seats in here. The room was enchanted to provide the number of chairs and desks needed for each class. Yet due to the size of this class, the room was stuck with its smallest setting; four rows of ten seats.

The class was small, but most people didn't enjoy History of Magic. There were two groups in the room. The Hufflepuff girls and Ravenclaw girls sat to the left of the board. There was about five of them. They glanced towards the back of the room and giggled. Lily was reminded of her Divination classroom.

She could see the sole Hufflepuff boy, Amos Diggory, sitting with four Ravenclaws. They sat to the right of the board. Since the class was so small, students sat shoulder to shoulder in one row. It was rather cramped. Lily looked for an empty seat but couldn't find one. Her eyes darted to the back of the room and Lily froze.

Sitting near a desk at least three rows of empty seats from everyone, was James Potter. Why was he taking this class? He looked up from a large piece of parchment and grinned at Lily. Lily scowled at him.

" Miss Evans please sit down. Go and sit with Mr. Potter, I don't trust him by himself," the translucent figure of Professor Binns announced. Eyes turned to Lily and she cleared her throat.

" Professor could I sit anywhere else?" Lily asked in a low voice. Professor Binns glared at her and spoke.

" Miss Evans you are causing a scene. Now go and sit with Mr. Potter before I take points from Gryffindor," Professor Binns barked. Lily nodded glumly and moved to the back row. She sat reluctantly next to Potter and could feel his eyes on her.

Lily ignored him and faced the front of the room. She pulled a blank parchment notebook out and began taking notes on the lecture. Most of the students began to doze off and Lily glared at Chris Lancet as he snored loudly. Lily tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and copied the notes. She bit her lip and rubbed an ink stain off her skin.

" Evans you've miscopied that note about the Egyptian relationship with wizards," a voice murmured. Lily could feel Potter's hot breath on her skin. She turned, ready to scold him, but stopped. Potter's face was directly behind hers and she could see his eyes vividly. Lily blinked and Potter smirked at her.

" Potter why are you even in this class?" Lily hissed. He chuckled and moved closer to her. Lily felt him wrap an arm around her shoulder and shrugged it away. A scowl graced her face and she glared at him.

" I was planning on using the period for catching up on sleep. But thanks to you I'll use it for some get to know Lily time," Potter declared in a low voice. Lily wanted to slap the smug tone he had. She glowered at him instead and turned back to her paper.

Lily checked her notes and saw that Potter was right. She scowled at her paper and rewrote that sentence. Her hand wrapped around the quill harshly and stabbed into the parchment. Lily felt Potter lace his fingers into her hair and slapped them away.

" Do you mind?" Lily growled. Potter laughed quietly at her and she glared at him. Lily wouldn't let low-life death eaters like James Potter keep her from studying.

" You look like Christmas Evans," Potter said with a crooked grin. Lily stared at him. He said that one too many times. She scowled; a memory was in her head, but she couldn't seem to remember it.

" Evans I'm almost upset with you. How could you obliviate your future husband?" Potter teased. Lily turned to him and clenched her fists.

" Potter if you don't shut up about that I will personally castrate you. You may be looking forward to our arrangement but I would do anything to get out if it! You're a death eater for Merlin's sake! There's a reason I left my life as a pureblood behind," Lily spat.

She could see Potter's eyes shifting from a playful gleam to a cold and harsh one. Lily almost shivered at the sadistic sheen in them. Potter leaned closed to her and his lips almost brushed her skin.

" Lily it doesn't matter what you want. I'm a death eater and proud of it. You need to get off your high horse and see that muggles are worse than animals. They're the sign that we can't control magic. I honestly would prefer for you to be more open about our situation. But either way you'll belong to me soon," Potter snarled in her ear.

Lily froze and felt his heart beat next to hers. She couldn't believe that Potter was so idiotic. Her mum was right; a pureblood betrothal was a cage. Lily shouldn't have come back to England. Potter turned and faced her. Lily ducked her head and moved away from Potter.

" You're disgusting Potter. You're cruel and arrogant and just fucked up. Your ideals make me sick. You make me sick," Lily snarled back. Potter didn't respond. Lily turned in victory; but she didn't feel like a winner.

" Mr. Black twenty points from Slytherin. I hope this will teach you to refrain from sending Miss McKinnon vulgar notes," Professor McGonagall scolded. Lily hid her grin behind her arm. She looked at Marlene from the corner of her eye and saw that Marlene was almost blushing.

Lily turned from Marlene and Sirius. She was sitting next to Michael across the room from her friend. Due to Professor McGonagall's distaste of the Marauders, the NEWT Transfiguration class had been assigned seats. Lily was stuck sitting next to Michael, which involved long and awkward silences. But Marlene had it worse; she was sitting next to Black. Lily glanced at him and frowned when she saw him flirting with a Ravenclaw.

She could feel eyes staring at her and turned. Lily was ready to glare at Potter but faltered when she caught Jason staring at her. He looked almost pale. Lily was close to losing her golden glow, but Jason looked sallow. Lily frowned at him. His clothing almost hung off his shoulders. She could see bags under his eyes.

Lily wanted to talk to him and comfort him, but she couldn't. She couldn't get involved with him without him being even more disappointed. His eyes met hers and Lily faltered. Maybe a quick conversation wouldn't do much damage. She turned and ripped a piece of parchment out of her Transfiguration notebook. Lily scribbled something on it and balled the paper up. She glanced at McGonagall who was busy scribbling a lesson plan on the board.

Lily took the ball and threw it towards Jason. It hit his chest and his nimble fingers instantly reached up to grab it. Lily could feel Michael watching her as she stared at Jason. Jason looked up and nodded at Lily. She smiled a little and turned from him.

" Sibling bonding with the Gastors?" Michael asked in a low voice. Lily shoved him and he grimaced. She noticed that his bandages were still there and regretted her actions.

" Wood it's none of your business," Lily hissed. She leaned over and closed her notebook; class was ending soon.

" Believe me I wish it wasn't any of my business. But whether you or I like it, we're bonded Lily. After what happened last June everything changed. And don't lie; I saw the way you reacted to the fire during that duel," Michael said in a low voice.

Lily gulped and bit her lip. Michael was too smart to not notice that there was something wrong with her. She thought that leaving Michael out of what was happening was the right thing to do; but she was wrong.

" We've been over this Wood. I can't help you and you can't help me. I'm fine I don't need any help," Lily argued. Michael slammed his fist on the table and people turned to them.

" Stop lying to me! We've been over this Lily. You're not sleeping or eating. I can see you reliving what happened every time you see fire and don't deny it. I bet if you stood in front of a Bogart you'd see that bastard Aucl-," Michael listed in a furious voice. Before he could finish, Lily raised her hand and slapped him across the face.

" He was my best friend for fifteen year Michael try not to speak so poorly about him," Lily shouted. She knew that the class was watching them. Michael and her had just interrupted the entire class.

" That's the best part; you were friends with a death eater for Merlin's sake. I can't believe how daft you are," Michael spat. She could feel her magic protesting. It was trying to bargain with her; it wanted to escape and make Michael shut up.

Lily blinked and felt it pound against the prison she forced it into. She had to get out of that room; she had to keep her magic under lock and key. Lily stood and started to walk out of the room. She felt Michael grab her hand and turned to him.

" Shit Lily your eyes," Michael muttered. Lily glared at him and pulled her hand out of his. She grabbed her wand and walked out of the classroom, ignoring the shouts of Professor McGonagall. Lily turned and walked down the stairs. She quickly made her way outside and almost fell to her knees.

A groan escaped her mouth; it was getting stronger. Lily knew that she had to talk to Professor Gladstone, but she was reluctant to tell the bitter woman that she needed her help. Lily blinked and knew that her eyes were the color of green flames. She held her eyes shut and shoved her magic back into its prison.

A few minutes later, Lily stood and started walking. She made a promise to meet someone and she refused to break it. Lily made her way over to the Quidditch pitch and changed into a pair of short and a t-shirt. She slid her sneakers on a grabbed her broom from inside of her bracelet.

As she exited the locker room, Lily breathed the air of the rugged Scottish country in. She could see a boy with golden hair standing across the pitch. Lily made her way over to him and saw that he changed into a pair of shorts and running shoes. He looked up and smiled at her.

" I didn't think you would come," Jason announced. Lily smiled and tugged her ponytail into a tight braid. She turned to Jason and smiled.

" I don't break promises Jace," Lily said. She moved to her brother and sat on the ground of the field. He joined her and they placed their brooms on the ground of the pitch.

" What happened back in there with Wood?" Jason asked. Lily looked up at him and sighed.

" Just some Gryffindor drama Jace," Lily explained. This was about him not her. Lily crossed her legs and faced her brother. She could see the golden curls of his hair blowing with the soft breeze. A small scar sat near his right eyebrow.

" Why did you resign from your prefect position?" Lily asked. Jason looked at her and she stared back at him.

" I couldn't do it Lils. Cassius and Pericles had the right idea about leaving. There's too many ghosts here," Jason croaked. A small hand grabbed his and squeezed it. Lily looked at him with empathy.

" Jason you're not like Cassius and Pericles. Whether you like it or not, you are brave. I think that you can face your ghosts," Lily murmured. Her brother looked up at her with a tortured gaze.

" If someone told me last year that dad, mum, Julius, and Lucian were dead; Cassius and Pericles moved from England, and that my sister was back in England I would have probably sent the bloke to Mungos," Jason said is a wistful tone.

" Jason you'll be alright. You've got your friends and right now they're the only ones who can help you," Lily explained.

" You can help me Lils. You know what I'm going through more than anyone else," Jason pleaded. Lily bit her lips and wrapped Jason in a hug. She blinked the tears away and knew what she had to say.

" I can't help you Jace. I'm not your sister anymore, I haven't really been a Gastor since I was nine," Lily choked. Her brother paused and pulled her to face him.

" Lily you can't do this to me. Everybody even Cassius and Pericles abandoned me. Don't leave me," Jason beseeched. Lily held his hand and looked into his eyes.

" Jason I don't even know you anymore. I know a boy with gold hair and a scrawny figure who abandoned me for his new life. It's my turn to leave you behind and let you move on," Lily justified.

" James told me you know. He came to me back in June the week after Lucian's funeral. Pericles left the manor to do night and day shifts at Mungos and Cassius moved out of the house and went to Montreal a few days ago. James arrived at the manor in a bloody frenzy. He held his wand to my throat and demanded to know about you. I told him everything and then he showed me this letter his dad left him. Lily you're never going to be free of being a pureblood. Technically speaking since Pericles officially abdicated his position as head of the Gastor family here and Cassius moved before he could even accept the position, it was given to me. Lily I love you even if you can't love me. But after March I can't help you. You won't be able to continue this muggleborn persona anymore. During Easter Break, James is having his coming of age ball and you'll be expected to make an appearance and take the official role as his fiancé," Jason explained.

Lily looked down and pushed her fears away. She moved her hands from Jason's and wrapped her arms around her chest. Her finger brushed her left rib and Lily flinched. She looked up and nodded at her brother.

" I know I opened mum and dad's letters. Potter and I talked about it. Jason I can't do this. I can't be stuck with James Potter for the rest of my life. He's a death eater for Circe's sake," Lily called out. She was losing the control she worked so hard to get.

" James isn't that bad Lily. I actually thought that you and James would be pretty good for each other. You guys danced at the Christmas Ball back when James was going through some shit. He barely agreed to leave his parents' bedsides that night and even when he came to the ball, Padfoot and I were sure that he wouldn't do anything but get drunk. But then I saw him dancing with this girl in a green dress that looked all too familiar. Lils you should have seen the way he looked at you. He looks at you as though you're the most beautiful thing he's ever scene. He looks at you the way mum used to look at dad," Jason told her.

Lily gulped and noted that Jason said looks, and not looked. She bit her lip and realized that if anyone had been rooting for her and James, it was Jason. Every single small interaction between her and Potter was noted by Jason.

" Jace I just can't be with him. He's so evil and cruel. I saw him kill people," Lily pointed out. Jason snorted at this.

" Lily I've killed too," Jason said in a low voice. Lily looked up and shook her head.

" That's why I can never let you in Jason. I can never love you; I can never have a family as long as you're killing people. What's even worse is that I used to look past who you are and think that those things were just small things. But they aren't; Jason you're not that little boy I used to play with. You've become this monster who kills and hurts people. I don't want to be around you anymore; and you shouldn't be around me. I've got seven months until I belong to Potter; and until then I plan on being happy. I can't be happy around you. You're evil Jason you're just like Dad and Julius and Lucian. You don't know what's the difference between duty and acceptance. It's killing me that you've changed into this uncaring monster. And Potter is just like you," Lily exclaimed.

She felt like she was getting something off her chest. Every single interaction between her and Jason was strained. Even last year, her friends used to judge her for being so chummy with a known death eater. But Lily looked past it. She couldn't do that anymore. Even if Jason was family she couldn't help him. No one could help him, no one but himself.

Lily stood and turned from Jason. She checked her watch and faced the bleachers. She knew that Jason was still reeling from the blows she sent his way; but Lily needed to use one final blow, the killing blow.

" Jason I'm not your family anymore. Your family abandoned you. You're alone and it's time you accept that," Lily coldly announced. She met Jason's eyes in a sharp glared and crossed her arms.

" Now could you please leave? I have a Quidditch practice to run," Lily declared. It wasn't the words that made Jason give up; it was Lily's tone. Her brother had just emotionally given up everything. Lily took his emotions and feelings and shredded them to pieces. She broke him; but he would rise from the remains of his demise. He would heal.

Lily watched as her brother held in his tears and pushed passed her. He didn't look back as he exited the pitch. Lily wrapped her arms as he took a step farther and farther away from her. She knew that she was free; she was free of her family once and for all. Jason wouldn't bother her anymore and Lily could live her last few months of freedom.

" Lils we're warming up," A voice shouted. Lily turned to her team with a determined expression. She grabbed her broom and took to the endless sky; ready to find out whom Lily Evans was.

" We are having a special guest today class. I would like to introduce you to Calchus Mopsus. He is a very famous and talented seer. I called in a large favor to get him to come here. Today he will be looking into each of your futures," Professor Omina announced.

Lily snorted and looked up to the front of the room. She could see a young wizard with hectically frizzy hair and a chaotic gleam to his eyes standing next to Professor Omina. Lily doubted that this man was an actual seer.

Her grandmother, Cassia Lilius, was a descendant of a seer. Lily's grandmother originated from Delphi. If the family trees she had were accurate, then Lily was a distant descendant of one of the Oracles of Delphi. But Lily passed that off as her grandmother's crazed pureblood supremacy attempts.

The class moved into a line and each approached the chaotic man. Lily shuddered when she saw Melissa Davies place her hand in the man's hands. Lily wasn't the biggest fan of visions from the future. Both she and her mother had a few dreams displaying scenes that seemed to be foreboding, but they weren't anything serious.

" Your life will go better is you stay faithful to your husband," Mopsus announced to the entire class. Snickers broke across the room and Melissa glared at the seer. Lily bit her lip to hide her smile. Black winked at Stevies and she blushed. Lily glared at Black's back. He was already spoken for and yet he still felt the need to flirt with every girl in existence.

She watched as the line started to shorten. When it was Black's turn he placed his hand in the seer's and smirked.

" Don't turn off your emotions. It'll do you more good then bad," the seer announced. Black scowled for a second but walked back to his seat. Most of the class wasn't paying attention as Lily walked up to the seer slowly. The man smiled in a welcoming manner, but Lily didn't feel welcomed.

When she placed her trembling hand on the seer's callused hand Lily felt something ram into her. She gasped and saw vision burst behind her eyes. An explosion burning her from the inside as something hit her. She could feel something leaving her it seemed to rip her apart as it escaped. A scream escaped her. Oh Merlin it hurt so much. Lily felt as though she was being ripped apart from the inside. She could hear voices around her. Lily was sure that they were from her vision. She felt the pain slowly leave her. With each movement it made, Lily's torture increased. Another scream escaped her as she ripped her eyes open.

Lily could see the light of the Divination Tower hitting her. Someone sat next to her. Lily realized that she was on the ground. She looked up and met the eyes of Mopsus. Lily struggled to sit up but couldn't.

" What was that?" Lily demanded. The mere memory of the pain almost made her scream again.

" That was your future Lilium. Zeus's punishment will be your savior," the seer said in a cryptic tone. Lily froze at what he called her.

" Someone get Pomfrey immediately," a voice barked. Lily didn't notice that most of the class was watching her in shock. She felt someone tug her up and met the gray eyes of Sirius Black.

" Don't worry Professor. I'll be more than happy to take Evans to the hospital wing," Black announced. Lily tried to protest but he ignored her. She felt Black pull her up and let her lean against him as they left the room. Lily couldn't keep the message the seer left her out of her head. What was Zeus's punishment?

She felt Black tug her down the staircase and narrowed her eyes. Why was he helping her? Lily shoved away from Black and swayed as they reached the bottom of the staircase. She glared at him.

" Why are you helping me Black?" Lily spat. He sighed in annoyance and crossed his arms.

" Prongs and Jason used their Marauder's favors to make Moony and me help you out Evans. I honestly couldn't care about what happened to you. It was sort of painful though to listen to you scream during that seer's voodoo crap," Black announced. Lily shoved her arm in his direction and hunched over.

" Black just go. Leave me alone," Lily ordered. She slid against the wall of the castle and groaned. She had no idea what happened. The seer said something about that being her future; but Lily didn't want to experience that pain ever again. Lily heard Black sit across from her but ignored him.

She ignored him and let her headrest against the stone of the wall. It was cold but Lily was so hot. She clawed at her tie and pulled it off. A sigh escaped her mouth and Lily felt Black's feet brush against hers.

" What did that seer say about you? Something about your emotions," Lily mumbled. She let her head face the ceiling and pulled her tie off.

" Family curses Evans. Blacks either are too emotional or detached. The ones who are emotional become blind with emotion so our rings suppress the emotions. Makes those who are detached even bitchier," Black explained. Lily already knew this.

" What are you?" She asked. The Gastor family was the opposite of the Black family. They wanted to feel every single emotion rip into their souls. The rings heightened their emotions to a deadly extreme.

" I got no control over my emotions. Why do you think that I would even bother to sit with you? I'm doing it since I care about my brothers," Black drawled. Lily jerked her head up.

" Brothers?" Lily asked. Black snorted and unbuttoned his shirt. Lily began to protest but he shushed her. He pulled the sleeve to his right arm dawn and Lily could see a tattoo present on his shoulder. Black moved closer to her and showed her the tattoo. It looked like the Hogwarts crest, but instead of the four animals for the houses, there was a large wolf, a rat, a shaggy dog, and a tan stag. Over it was inscribed _The Marauders_.

" The Brotherhood of the Marauders Evans. We're not just friends we're brothers. There's a shit load of rules and regulations made back in our first and fourth year that I couldn't even remember. But one of the most important ones is the Marauder's favor. I called it in back in fourth year when Jason tried to seduce Marlene and that instated the rule of ownership for girls. Now none of them can touch Marlene. But I owed Jason a favor and he called it in at the start of the year. Now I get the job of making sure that you don't do anything stupid. Moony owed Prongs one and he called it in for the same request," Black explained.

Lily swallowed and he quickly buttoned his shirt. She stood and saw the Black had taken her bag from the classroom. Lily cursed when she saw her mum's notebook flapped over the corner. She reached for it and slammed it shut before Black could get a glance at it.

"What's that Evans?" Black asked. Lily cursed and slid the notebook inside of her bag. She grabbed her wand from inside and face Black.

" Look I should be thankful for you taking me from that class and not taking me to the hospital wing. I can't stand the hospital. But you need to tell my br- I mean Jason that he should call off the favor," Lily announced.

Black's eyes narrowed at her slip of the tongue and he crossed his arms. Lily checked her watch and saw that class would be ending soon; she had to get to Care of Magical Creatures. She attempted to move past him but he blocked her way.

" Jason came to the dorm pretty beat up about something yesterday. Do you know anything about that?" Black asked.

" No," Lily said with a straight face. She waited for Black to call her bluff but he didn't.

" The minute Jason's favor is called off, I've got dibs to hex your dirty mudblood first," Black announced. Lily nodded tersely and moved past him. She took off down the stairs and made her way to the Care of Magical Creatures classroom. But she couldn't forget the bolt of pain and the agony she felt. Lily shuddered and hoped that the pain she expectance would be far away in the distant future.

" Dissendium," Lily whispered. She heard the statue of the one-eyed, hump-backed witch move. Lily glanced around the corridor and jumped into the dark hole. She closed her eyes and tucked her body in as she slid down a slide. Her body hit a soft mat and Lily stood.

It was ten minutes before midnight on Friday. After hearing about Potter and Black's plans to meet a certain death eater in Hogsmeade, Lily decided to follow them. Something about Potter's tone seemed off when he spoke to Black. While Lily was in a detention with Professor Gladstone, Marlee and the other Gryffindors headed off to a party at the Ravenclaw Common Room.

After a silent detention, Lily ignored her stomach and went up to her dorm. She changed into a pair of sleek black jeans and a t-shirt. She slid a pair of sneakers on and grabbed a large black travel cloak. Lily pulled her hair up into a ponytail and used a charm to change her eyes to a muddy green.

She snuck across the castle and made her way to the statue of the humpback witch. After getting down to the passage to Hogsmeade Lily used a light spell.

She pulled her hood over her head and headed down the passage. The cloak brushed the edge of her shoes as she made her way across the passage. Lily made it to the back of the passage and slid out of the small door to Honeydukes. She inhaled the scent of chocolate and heard her stomach rumble.

Lily left a galleon on the cashier's table and grabbed a large bar of milk chocolate. She took a bite and kept the bar inside of her expandable bracelet. Lily exited the store and left a small rock by the door so it would stay open.

The streets of Hogsmeade were mostly deserted. Lily could make out people dressed in full-body cloaks traveling swiftly through the streets. She tried to blend in with the background as she made her way over to the pub known as the Hog's Head.

Lily entered the pub and heard loud laughter. She groaned when she saw a mix of wizards and half-breeds parading around the pub in a drunk stupor. Lily quickly scanned the crowd for either Black or Potter but couldn't find them. She headed over to bar and tapped the shoulder of a grumpy barman.

" Excuse me have you seen a boy with messy black hair?" Lily asked. The barman grunted at her. Lily raised an eyebrow and pulled a small bag from her bag. She pulled out several galleons and called the barman over.

" I asked if you saw a boy about this tall with messy black hair?" Lily said as she stacked galleons near the barman. His eye widened and he stuttered out a response.

" Err yes. He was with a blond fellow and a boy with almost girlish black curls," the barman answered. Lily smiled and placed another galleon on the pile.

" Do you happen to know where they went?" Lily questioned. She twirled a galleon around her fingers and glanced at the barman.

" They' reserved a private booth in the back," the barman answered. Lily nodded and thanked the man. She ordered a glass of butterbeer and walked over to the left corner of the pub. The people in the bar were louder and boisterous here.

Lily slipped through the crowd and wrinkled her nose when someone sloshed their firewhiskey close to her feet. She saw a door in the back. Near it was a group of three. Lily could see Sirius Black's gray eyes from under his hood as the group walked through the door. Lily quickly placed a rushed disilluminate charm on herself. She sprinted behind Black and heard the door to the private booth shut behind the three. She followed Black and the other two to a small booth and stood in front of them. Lily watched as they pulled their hoods down.

Potter shook hands with a tall blonde man. Lily saw the pale skin and steel gray eyes. A Malfoy, she thought. Black ordered them a round of mulled mead and turned to the blond man. Lily leaned in.

" Lucius long time since we last saw you. How's the married life treating you?" Black asked. The blonde smiled and faced Potter and Black.

" Your cousin is doing well. She's an excellent wife. Close to perfect," Lucius announced with a sly grin.

" Well she is a Black after all," Black snorted. Lily rolled her eyes. Only someone like Black would be so boastful about his cousin.

" I heard that you were promoted in your ranking," Potter commented suddenly. Lily turned to him. What was he talking about?

" Yes I was. I received Lucian Gastor's old position. I think that the Gastor family is starting its downfall," Malfoy said in a proud tone. Lily glared at him and heard Potter scoff.

" More like they are gaining more control. Jason told me that his brothers are heading the death eater divisions in Greece and Canada," Potter scoffed. Malfoy pursed his lips and glanced at him.

" Well Jason won't be able to maintain his family's honor here in England," Malfoy responded. Black snorted at this.

" Jason was inducted when he was thirteen, that's two years before you Malfoy. He's just going through some stuff right now," Black explained.

" The Dark Lord may show a certain fondness for the Gastor family, but if Jason doesn't stop this moping of his then that will change," Malfoy announced. Lily moved around the waitress and watched as Malfoy looked at his drink in distain.

" I think you're wrong Lucius. The Gastors have a certain secret that will keep them in the Holy Seven for at least another generation," Potter said with a sly grin. Lily paled; what was he talking about?

" Potter what are you talking about?" Malfoy demanded. Potter wore this smug expression and took a sip of his drink.

" I can't say anything right now. But you'll know about it by Easter break," Potter said. Lily knew that he was talking about her. She crossed her arms and glared at Potter.

" I don't have time for this rubbish. Potter you asked me to come here, why?" Malfoy said like an indignant child. Black exchanged a look with Potter.

" As you are aware, Dumbledore wasn't fired last year. I've got a solution that will get the bloke out of Hogwarts and support our cause," Potter started. The gleam in his eyes scared Lily.

" Go on," Malfoy drawled. Black cleared his throat and took a piece of parchment from his pocket. He flattened it on the table and Lily leaned over to get a glance at it. She couldn't see much since Potter's hair blocked her view.

" This is a list of muggleborn students currently attended Hogwarts and our plan," Black said with a leer. Lily frowned; did she miss something? Malfoy's eyes lit up and Potter smirked at him.

" This isn't half bad. The Dark Lord will be pleased with this plan. I'll meet with him and get him to approve this," Malfoy offered. Potter took the paper and folded it up.

" Good. Sirius and I have to get back to the castle before someone notices our absence. We'll see you at the Christmas Ball, I heard it's being held at the Gastor Manor this year," Potter finished. The men exchanged goodbyes and took off. Lily followed Black and Potter out of the pub at a distance. She sucked in a breath when Black glanced in her direction.

" So what's the big family secret that Jason has," Black muttered. Potter pulled his hood up and turned to Black.

" I only know about it since it involves me Padfoot. There's a tongue-tying hex on the secret so only the person who its about can tell people. I think Jason can also tell people, but he won't tell anyone about it," Potter answered. Black looked skeptical but nodded.

" Does it involve Mudblood Evans," Black asked. Lily crept closer to them when Potter shot him a dirty look.

" Don't call her that," Potter barked. Lily watched as he entered Honeydukes and Black followed. She slipped behind Black and followed them back to the castle.

" Prongs what are you keeping from me?" Black demanded when they were in the underground tunnel.

" I want to tell you Padfoot but it's not my secret to tell, at least not yet," Potter explained. Black snorted.

" Prongs we're Marauders there aren't suppose to be any secret in our brotherhood. But now you and Jason are acting like aloof bastards," Black sneered. Potter's eyes flashed and he grabbed Black's shoulder.

" Padfoot stop trying to pick a fight with me. What are you really angry about?" Potter ordered.

" You're a death eater Prongs! You're supposed to stand against muggles and mudbloods. So why is it that you and Worm- I mean Jason are so secretive about bloody Lily Evans?" Black shouted.

" Padfoot don't you understand? Evans isn't muggleborn," Potter shouted. The last words escaped his mouth and he immediately looked regretful. Black looked at him suspiciously.

" What do you mean Prongs?" Black asked. Potter moved away from Black with a regretful look.

" I can't tell you Padfoot. It's her secret and I've already said too much," Potter explained. Lily breathed a breath of relief and watched the two boys awkwardly apologize to each other. They left the passage and Lily followed them. She stood in the corridor and watched two brothers slowly start to mistrust each other.

" Trevor good work today," Lily called out. Trevor looked up at her and grinned. She met his tawny eyes and smiled back.

" Thanks, but I'm nowhere close to your level," Trevor said with a sheepish expression.

" Well it took me years to get my skill, you're even better than I was at your age," Lily assured. She watched as Trevor left the pitch with a grin. Lily liked Trevor. He was a fourth year Gryffindor with a passion for Quidditch. She had just finished her early morning private practice with him on Saturday.

Lily packed up the equipment and grabbed her bag from the locker room. She went back inside of the castle and to her dormitory. After taking a quick shower Lily changed into a pair of muggle jeans and a t-shirt. She kept her hair down and slid a pair of battered sneakers on.

Lily grabbed her wand and mum's notebook. She had work to do today. Her feet carried her down to the Great Hall and Lily could hear loud chatter coming from inside of it. She entered it right behind a large group of giggling Ravenclaw girls.

She took a seat near the back of the Gryffindor table and ate a slightly burned slice of toast. Lily moved to stand up, but she heard the hall quiet. Lily could see some students pointing towards the ceiling. She could see the Daily Profit owls coming in. A copy of the newspaper landed near her and Lily grabbed it. She stared at the figure on the front page of the paper.

Lily's fingers traced the words but she wasn't reading them. Her eyes were transfixed on the man standing in front of a smoldering building. He had his wand out and positioned it to hit his opponent. He wore a wicked grin and Lily smiled as he looked up at her and winked.

_GREEK AUROR GALEN KINGSMILL SAVES THE LIVES OF NINE MUGGLE CHILDREN IN A BURNING ORPHANAGE_

_Rita Skeeter_

_It was only yesterday when the forces of you-know-who attacked a small muggle orphanage in London. Almost fifty muggle children were known to live there. Fiendfrye was used to prevent water from keeping the fire down. A few moments after the death eaters left, the auror duo Lucretia Sprout and Galen Kingsmill arrived and saved the lives of nine muggles. Lucretia Prewitt managed to putt the fire down and Galen Kingsmill went inside of the fire, risking his life, to save the children inside. He used a flight and cushion spell to propel the children from the burning building. Minutes before the entire structure collapsed, Kingsmill bolted from the orphanage carry two muggle babies. The muggles were taken to St. Mungos and obliviated before dawn._

_The aurors who saved these children are slowly rising to the front lines of the auror department. The 21-year-old, Lucretia Sprout attended Hogwarts and secured a position as the Ravenclaw prefect. She has been working in the auror department ever since she graduated. She has been famous on the front lines of the war for the past two years. Her partner, Jake Weston was killed in a recent auror mission. Yet Auror Sprout doesn't let this get in the way of her career._

_Galen Kingsmill isn't a very recognizable name. But his family is famous across the globe. His mother was the late Apolline Kingsmill, internationally acclaimed pianist He arrived fresh from Greece during the summer. The nineteen-year-old Galen Kingsmill attended the Athenian School for Sorcery in Greece. He worked in the Greek auror department ever since the age of seventeen. After being reassigned to the English Auror department in August, he has quickly risen to the occasion._

_For Auror Kingsmill's bravery and honor in battle, he has received the esteemed Order of Merlin third class medal. Due to his status as an auror, his medal was made into a one of a kind ring._

_Both Sprout and Kingsmill were present during the inferi incident in Bristol. They are the only two known survivors of it. This duo is quickly gaining acclaim. If they continue their work, then we may have some heroes on our hands._

(Cont. page 3)

Lily smiled at the paper. Galen was becoming a national hero. But she didn't care about that. She was happy that he was safe. Lily looked up from the newspaper with a grin. Lily noticed that someone was staring at her. She looked down the Gryffindor table and made eye contact with Michael. Lily remembered their argument on Transfiguration. She turned away from him and grabbed her mum's notebook and her copy of the Daily Profit. Lily stood and quickly began walking away from the Gryffindor table.

" Evans not so fast," a voice called out. Lily stopped and turned. Michael jogged up to her and threw the Daily Profit in her face. He had a set expression on his face.

" This is the bloke you were snogging on the platform isn't it?" Michael demanded. Lily glared at the people looking at her curiously.

" Michael that's none of your business," Lily snapped. He chuckled coldly and crossed his arms.

" Right you went MIA this summer and now you don't want to interact with me anymore," he sneered. Lily glared at him; she was in a good mood and he had to ruin it.

" Fine. Michael yes I was snogging him on the platform at the start of the school year. Happy?" Lily exclaimed. She turned from Michael and missed the shot of pain on his face. She exited the Great Hall and briskly walked towards the library. Lily clenched her hand around the newspaper and set her face.

Michael was supposed to be her friend, not her tormentor. Lily suppressed a sigh and pushed those thoughts away. She had work to do. After greeting Madame Pince, Lily headed to the back of the library. She found the section on the dark arts and pulled out a textbook focusing on the imperius curse.

She spent last weekend studying the history of the cruciatius curse, but didn't find anything too important in those books. She tore through the textbook and wrote down several notes on the imperius curse, but nothing in it was too valuable. Lily stared at a chapter in the book blankly. She didn't no how long she had sat in the section on the dark arts for.

A clump of hair fell in her face. Lily wrinkled her nose and shoved her hair into a sloppy bun. She rubbed her face and looked down at her notes. She had information on what the imperius curse felt like and the history of it. But in the entire book, nothing was offered about how to fight it. Lily slammed the cover of the book shut and placed it next to her.

None of the books here were helping her. Lily remembered the pile of textbooks in her mum's secret study. She should have taken them. This was so frustrating. Lily knew that her mum was researching the unforgivable, but why? Why was her mum trying to find out how to fight those curses?

Lily shoved the notebook aside and stretched her hands. She rolled her neck and reached for the battered notebook. Lily's fingers grazed something that didn't feel like paper. She frowned and pulled the notebook to her chest and flipped it open. There was nothing there but an old entry. Lily's fingers rubbed the emerald green ink.

She knew that ink. Lily knew that ink better than anyone else. The emerald green ink that was used to make this entry was the same ink that Hogwarts used to write letters to students. Lily pulled the notebook close to her face and looked down at the entry.

_I talked with Albus today. I'm actually writing this entry in his office and borrowed some ink from him. Julius is at a friend's house and Will is at some stupid purist thing. I can't believe that he actually believes in that rubbish! I'm so scared. I caught him showing Julius an unforgivable yesterday! They were practicing the cruciatus on a small bird. For Circe's sake, Julius hasn't even gone to Hogwarts yet._

_I'm too afraid to tell him that I'm pregnant. I've always wanted a large family; but I don't want to have soldiers for sons and alliances for daughters. Dorea visited me yesterday. She's one of my few close friends here. The other wives of pureblood men only speak to me in hopes that I'll have a daughter so they can get a shot at having fresh blood in their genes. It's revolting here._

_Dorea Potter is a few years my senior. She was headgirl when Will was in his first year so that makes her eight years older than me. But I honestly can't see the age gap. She's like the older sister I never had. Instead I'm stuck with the brat. She's the last daughter of her branch of the Black family and her parents died. Yet she never lets death bring her down. She's so motherly to Julius. Her husband, Charlus, used to be betrothed to Will's older sister Marie. I've never met Marie Gastor, but I have seen pictures of her._

_She looks so similar to Will's mother. I honestly don't understand the genetics of the Gastor family. Julius is only eight and he looks like the pictures of Will when he was a child. Marie looks like Will's Irish mother. Percilla, Will's mother, has been dead for six years. Yet I still miss her. She was such a dear; I think her death has changed Will for the worse._

_Sorry I'm rambling. Back to Dorea Potter then. Charlus and her seem so different from most purebloods here in England. She works in Mungos and Charlus works in the Wizengamot. But unlike families here, they're not too eager to have children. Whenever I ask Dorea about it she always laughs and tells me that they have decades for children._

_I think that she is afraid of having a child with Charlus's chaotic hair. I'd pitied any mother who had to deal with a child with that hair. Will's got hair similar to the Potter's though. But it's more windswept then a mess of tornado curls._

_I've been thinking of names for the baby. If it's a girl I want to name her for Will's mother. Maybe Pricilla? But if it's a boy then I already have the name picked out. Pericles, for my brother. It's been years since he died from that horrid massacre out in Sparta. He was my closest friend and I'll never forget him._

_They always said that we were Genuine Gemini. Perry and Dellie the soul twins. But then he had to get himself killed. It wasn't really his fault though; it's my horrible father's. If Dad's family hadn't gotten on the bad side of those werewolves then Pericles would have never gotten kidnapped and had a werewolf slit his throat._

_Now it's just my parents and the brat in Greece. Perry is dead and I practically renounced myself from my family after I married Will. They approved of my husband but they didn't want me to leave them. It wasn't up to them though. After Perry died everything changed. Apolline went on her international piano tour and Leander went with her to get experience across the globe for being a healer. Julius, my first love is dead._

_I can never forget the way he looked at me when a werewolf ripped his heart from his chest. Will doesn't know that I name my Julius for my first love. He doesn't know that I ever loved anyone before him. But then again he doesn't know my family's history with werewolves._

Lily shot up and slammed the notebook shut. She didn't know about Perry; she didn't know that her mum had a twin. She sucked a sharp breath into her lungs and leaned back against the bookshelf. She wanted to know who her mum was, but she didn't think that her mum had such a secret past.

She knew that her mum was best friends with Apolline Kingsmill but she didn't know about Julius or Perry. Lily's eye shot open. She ripped the notebook open and turned to the back. Lily grabbed her muggle pen and faced the bookshelf. She used it to write against. Her pen scraped into the material of the page hastily and Lily bit her lip. She looked at her work when she was done.

_Julius- for Julius who got his heart ripped out by a werewolf._

_Pericles- for Perry, mum's dead twin brother, who got his throat slit by a werewolf?_

_Lucian- ? Probably for dad's dad; Luke Gastor. The Pollux part isn't clear yet._

_Cassius- for Cassia Lilius, mum's mum. Where did the David part come from?_

_Jason- ? But I know that his middle name is for Edward Gastor, dad's uncle._

_Lily- Mum's family and dad's dead sister_

Lily examined her work. Her parents weren't sentimental people so why did they name their kids for so many dead people? She didn't know where Lucian's middle name or Cassius's came from. She didn't know where Jason came from, but she did know half of the names. Lily knew that there was only person who could answer her questions but she didn't feel like talking to that person. Lily remembered how her mum referred to someone as a brat and knew whom it was about.

She checked her watch and saw that dinner was almost over. Lily gathered her stuff and headed towards the Great Hall. She had so many questions about her mum's past. Since her grandparents were dead and Apolline Kingsmill was dead Lily had one source that was reliable for information on her mum's past; Professor Gladstone.

" Miss Evans class ended several minutes ago. Why are you still here?" Professor Gladstone asked. Lily gulped and rocked back on her heels. She wrapped a hand around the strap of her bag and licked her lips. She had Lunch but Lily had something more important to do.

It was the Tuesday after Lily read her mum's notebook entry. For Sunday and Monday, questions seemed to almost haunt her. By Tuesday morning Lily was anxious to get this over with. She went through Potions and managed to get corralled into going to the first Slugclub meeting of the year when she wasn't paying attention.

Lily shuddered at the idea of spending her Friday evening with Slughorn and a bunch of pretentious Slytherins. Most of the other Gryffindors made their feelings about Slugclub meeting extremely clear so Lily would be alone. The only other person she knew in the Slugclub who wasn't a Ravenclaw or a Slytherin was Amos Diggory.

But Diggory wasn't really her type. His hair was a light brown and he had almost copper eyes. He was the seeker for the Hufflepuff team and the sixth year Hufflepuff Prefect. Lily had done a few patrols with him before and exchanged coy banter about who was the better seeker. But she wasn't looking forward to spending an entire dinner with him being the only person willing to talk to her.

After her and the other Gryffindors seemed to split, gossip arose. Michael managed to get most of the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs to send her dirty glares and trip her. The Slytherins already hated her and the Gryffindors were upset about her display of lack of concern at the tryouts.

" Miss Evans why are you here?" Professor Gladstone said in a distasteful tone. Lily gulped and blushed; she kept zoning out. She looked up and brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

" I was wondering you knew anything about Perry?" Lily asked.

Professor Gladstone's eyes lit up and Lily regretted her words. She stood and leaned over towards Lily.

" How do you know about Perry?" Professor Gladstone demanded. Lily pulled out her mum's battered notebook and Professor Gladstone snorted.

" Of course Delphina couldn't resist being the perfect and mysterious daughter," Professor Gladstone snorted. Her finger moved towards the notebook, but Lily grabbed it.

" You've got no right to this. You hated my mother," Lily spat. Her teacher looked almost hurt for a second, but her face shifted into a sneer.

" What happened between me and your mother isn't any of your business. Perry was your perfect mother's perfect brother. People used to call them the soul twins; Genuine Gemini. They used to be the closest friends, even closer than Apolline Kingsmill and your mother. Even closer than Julius and your mother," Professor Gladstone jeered.

" Who was Julius?" Lily demanded. Professor Gladstone's face shifted into a bitter expression.

" What Apolline didn't even tell you about her brother Julius Galen? That's almost sad," Professor Gladstone sneered. Lily clenched her fists and ignored the surprise that came from her professor's comment.

" Your mother was such a siren. She used to have Julius on one hand and her parents on the other. It was only when she left Greece for William Gastor that her family realized how much of an evil bitch she was," Professor Gladstone exclaimed. Lily's hand moved suddenly and she heard a loud noise. She looked down at her hand in shock and Professor Gladstone held her cheek.

" Professor Gladstone I'm sorry I-" Lily started. Her teacher interrupted her with a deadly glare.

" 100 points from Gryffindor and a detention with Filch this Saturday," Professor Gladstone announced. Lily gulped and didn't protest. She turned and began to walk out of the room. Her hand was on the doorknob when Professor Gladstone spoke.

" You're just like her. I tried to keep you from being selfish and arrogant like her but I was wrong to even try and help you. You're worse than your mother. You've got your dad's greed and cruelty too," Professor Gladstone announced. Lily turned and felt her magic stir.

" Don't talk about my parents like that. They're dead and you still disrespect them. You're so petty," Lily shouted. She didn't regret her words.

" You know that you look just like her. She had hair like that and she had your green eyes, but they were a shade or two lighter. You even act like her. I look at my class and I can see every single boy looking at you every few minutes. You're as sickening as her," Professor Gladstone spat.

" You're just jealous of my mum for having the perfect childhood and the perfect husband and the perfect family. Well looks can be deceiving," Lily ended. She opened the door and left before Professor Gladstone could say anything. Lily stormed to the Great Hall. She tried to get the blush on her face to leave, but it didn't. Lily entered the hall and eyes from the Gryffindor table turned to her. She set her jaw and noticed that most of the students were looking at her.

Lily narrowed her eyes; she didn't have the patience for this right now. She could feel Michael looking at her and walked up to him.

" What did I do then?" Lily demanded. She glared at him and he snorted at her.

" Take a look at the hourglass," Michael said in a loud voice. Lily's eyes unconsciously looked at the gold Gryffindor hourglass. There were a lot fewer rubies in it then there had been during the morning. Lily knew that the Gryffindors must have seen the rubies disappear while she wasn't present and assume that it was her fault.

" Don't be so pretentious. I've probably gained more points than I lost today since the start of the school year," Lily spat.

" What did you do?" Michael asked. Lily made eye contact with him and laughed. She knew it was from her sleep deprivation and the fact that she hadn't eaten more than a piece of toast for the past eighteen hours.

" I slapped Professor Gladstone," Lily said. She turned before she could see Michael's stunned expression. She grabbed a carrot from the table and turned from the table; Lily had one other person she could rely on. But she wasn't too sure if he would be free.

She moved to the back of the Gryffindor table and ignored the stares in her direction. Lily pulled out a piece of parchment and scribbled a quick letter on it. She stood and grabbed a handful of grapes from the table and left the Great Hall. Lily made her way to the Owl Tower and tied a letter to Hestia leg.

" Here it's a nice a long trip to Greece. Have fun," Lily called out as she let Hestia fly out of the castle. Lily left the tower and made her way to the Transfiguration corridor. She shoved her hair into a ponytail and walked to the Transfiguration classroom. Lily slid into her seat right before the bell rang. She faced the front of the room where Professor McGonagall stood.

After her and Michael's fight, Professor McGonagall separated the two. Lily's new seat was next to Davies. She ignored his curious stare and began taking notes on Professor McGonagall's lecture. She could see Davies leaning back in his chair and watching her with a cocky stare.

" Remind me how you even got into this class?" Lily asked Justin. He looked at her with a sly grin.

" I'm a Ravenclaw we've got the best assists of all the houses. The knowledge, girls, and Quidditch skills," Justin Davies explained. Lily scoffed at this.

" You've got girls who dress like whores and throw themselves at the Marauders. Your house prefers drugs and partying to actual education. And lastly your Quidditch team is utter shite," Lily said in a low voice. Justin swept a lock of his dark hair out of his eye and grinned at her.

" Hey Evans there's a party in the Ravenclaw Common Room wanna go to it with me?" Justin drawled. Lily knew that he said that in a purposely-loud voice to get the attention of people near them.

" Davies I've got detention for slapping Gladstone on Saturday," Lily answered. Davies leaned closer to her and she swatted his arm away from her.

" It's fine, there's always next Saturday. Why did you slap Gladstone anyways," Justin asked. Lily kept her quill down and faced him. She leaned back when she saw how close his face was to hers.

" Old history being brought up Davies," Lily explained. She pushed her seat away from Davies and began taking notes again. Lily could hear a pair of Hufflepuffs talking about her from in front of her. She ignored them and scraped her quill harshly against her parchment.

" Evans did you know that Potter is trying to kill me with his eyes?" Davies whispered near Lily's ear. She shoved his head away and looked up. From across the room, Potter's body was turned from the front of the room and towards her and Davies. Lily pursed her lips and turned to Davies.

" I hope he manages to at least scorch you," Lily told Davies. He chuckled lowly and several girls turned to them.  
" Evans you're different from most of the girls here," Davies said. Lily bit her lip and faced the front of the room.

" Davies you're just like ever single hormone-controlled boy in this room," Lily said. She turned from Davies and used her arm to block him from her view. Sometimes Quidditch captains like Davies needed a bullet in their egos.

After Transfiguration ended Lily bolted from the classroom and went to Quidditch practice. It ended disastrously when Gideon accidently hit Lily in the arm with his club. She fell a few feet before Adam placed a cushioning charm on the ground. Lily ended up at the Hospital Wing after ending practice.

Madame Pomfrey kept her until after curfew. After a good hour of begging she agreed to let Lily go with a bandage around her arm that she wasn't to remove for a day.

" All set Miss Evans. Do try to be more careful on the pitch," Madame Pomfrey scolded. Lily thanked the mediwitch and adjusted her shirt to hide the bandage on her right arm. She watched as Madame Pomfrey went to her own room. Lily started to exit the Hospital Wing, when she heard a loud groan come from a bed.

Lily's eyes glanced towards it and she gasped. Lying on the bed was the battered form of Justin Davies. Lily could barely see his face from all of the cuts and bruises on his face. Her feet carried her over to his body and Lily looked down at him.

" Davies what happened to you?" Lily asked. She ran a hand along his hair and heard him groan. Who would do this to the Captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team? He didn't respond and shifted in his sleep.

" He had it coming," a voice said. Lily looked up and saw that James Potter was standing near the door of the hospital wing. He wore a grin as he looked down at Justin's body.

" What do you mean?" Lily croaked. Potter moved to her and pulled her close to his chest. Lily looked up at him with a confused expression. Potter chuckled and led her away from Davies. He pulled her to another bed and stood with her in his arms. He seemed to be happy about Justin's condition.

" Lily Davies was flirting with my property. I don't like it when people try to play with what belongs to me. He learned his lesson. Davies will never touch you again," Potter murmured close to her ear.

Shock filled Lily. Potter did this to Justin? How could he be so cruel? Didn't he have a sense of humanity? Lily tried to pull her body out of Potter's grip but he pushed her closer to his chest. Her hands were shoved against his chest and she couldn't move them.

" What the hell is wrong with you Potter? I don't belong to you and even if I did you can't go and beat the life out of someone," Lily hissed. Potter looked at her with amusement. He moved one hand to her hand and looked at her bandage.

" When did you get this," Potter asked. He lifted her arm from his chest with ease and looked at the bandage. Lily rolled her eyes at him.

" Quidditch practice but that's not important. Potter I don't belong to you. You can't beat someone up for speaking to me," Lily ordered. Potter placed her hand down and smirked at her in a condescending way.

" Lily you will be mine in seven months. You'll be Lily Potter for the rest of your life," Potter assured. Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

" Seven months is a long time Potter. I would appreciate if you could stop interfering in my life until seven months has passed," Lily growled. She glared at Potter and he frowned at her.

" Wood said something a few days ago. Were you snogging that auror on the platform?" Potter demanded. Lily could see the worry in his eyes. She smirked at him with a devilish gleam.

" Don't worry Potter Gale is just a friend, a really close friend. He is like a brother," Lily assured. Potter snorted at this and held her tighter.

" Evans I've known the Gastor family for my entire life. Your parents were my godparents for Merlin's sake. I'm pretty sure that they wouldn't let you snog Jason," Potter growled. Lily looked at him in surprise; her parents were really that close to the Potters?

" Gale is a friend Potter. That kiss was a kiss between friends and even if it wasn't you wouldn't have any control over it," Lily explained.

" You call him Gale?" Potter said with a snort. Lily rolled her eyes at Potter's dramatics.

" Yes it's a nickname Potter. You know an affection term someone gives another person," Lily drawled. Potter looked at her and smirked.

" Do you have a nickname for me?" Potter asked. He moved his head down to her neck and his breath hit her. Lily shivered and he looked up at her with a smirk; he felt it. Potter's teeth grazed her neck and Lily flushed red. She pulled her head back but Potter didn't move.

" Yes I call you the sadistic bastard," Lily deadpanned. Potter wasn't fazed though.

" I call you Christmas. We met at a Christmas ball back when we were eight. You were my first kiss," Potter said. He titled his head and lightly kissed her neck traveling up to her ear. Lily felt a spark of lightening hit her every time Potter kissed her.

" How did you know it was me? We were wearing masks," Lily gasped. She felt Potter smirk against her pulse point before sucking on it. Lily knew that was going to leave a mark.

" Only one person would know who was playing that night. None of the girls here are fond of music. Most of them quit their lessons before coming to Hogwarts," Potter explained. Lily bit back a moan when his teeth danced with her skin.

" James," Lily gasped. He looked up and Lily shivered when his eyes met hers. She could see pools of lust in his swirling green and gold eyes. Potter pulled her even closer and Lily could feel his heart beating against hers in perfect unison. His lips parted slightly as he leaned close to her. His lips were coming towards hers and Lily quickly pulled back. Potter narrowed his eyes and forced her chin up.

" Lily we've kissed before remember that day during Easter break? I'm pretty sure that you enjoyed it," Potter murmured. His face leaned in towards her ear. He kissed her jaw and Lily dug her fingers into his chest to keep from gasping.

" You left me," Lily croaked. She shoved Potter away as his lips attempted to land on hers. Lily wrapped her arms around her chest and felt hot. She knew that her face was a bright red. Lily gasped for air and watched as Potter ran a hand through his hair and looked at her smugly.

" Evans you want me," Potter drawled with a wicked grin. Lily frowned at him and straightened her back.

" I don't want you," Lily argued. Potter moved closer to her and Lily took a step back.

" What was that moan about. I'm pretty sure that you moaned my name," Potter teased with a vicious grin. Lily took another step back and hit the wall. She bit her lip and looked down as Potter inched closer and closer to her. His chest brushed hers and his fingers tugged her chin up. Lily stared into his eyes defiantly.

" Potter you left me the day we kissed for the first time," Lily stated. Potter narrowed his eyes at her.

" My dad died and I had obligations. Believe me I wanted to stay with you," Potter scoffed. Lily tried to move her head from his hold. He looked at her in annoyance and wrapped an arm around her waist. He pushed her against the wall and Lily was pressed tightly to him shirt. She could smell his green apple and forest scent. Potter stared into her eyes and she was forced to stare into his.

" Lily Potter certainly has a good ring to it. Mrs. Lily Potter sounds even better. Mrs. and Mr. James Potter," Potter purred into her ear. Lily wrinkled her nose.

" I'm not Mrs. James Potter," Lily muttered. Potter tucked a hand around her cheek and rubbed her mouth lightly with his callused thumb. He leaned his forehead against hers. Lily could see a birthmark by his jaw as he looked into her eyes.

" No you're Lily Marie Gastor who's pretending to be a muggleborn. But your time as either an Evans or a Gastor is numbered. You will be a Potter," James uttered. Lily glared at him.

" I'm not going to marry a death eater," she stated. Potter chuckled and she could feel the vibrations of his voice. Lily pulled her chin out of his grip and glowered at him. He was so cocky!

" Evans this is warning. If anything like this happens again, well let's say that Davies got lucky," Potter threatened. Lily closed her eyes and clenched her fists. She could feel Potter's breath on her cheek as he leaned closer and closer to her.

" Sweet dreams Lily," Potter murmured. He tapped his lips lightly against her forehead. Lily opened her eyes when he let go of her. She blinked and frowned; where did Potter go? The Hospital was silent. Lily could hear her heart pounding against her chest. Potter may have left her, but his presence seemed to almost linger.

" Lily I haven't see you since the start of the year," a voice exclaimed. Lily turned from Marlene and smiled when she saw a head of bubble-gum pink hair. She grinned as Nymphadora Tonks ran up to her and grinned at her.

" Tonks it's grand to see you," Lily answered. The girl slid into the seat next to Lily and grabbed an apple from the basket of fruit. Marlene looked at Lily curiously.

" Marlee this is Nymphadora Tonks, but she prefers Tonks. Tonks this is Marlene McKinnon, she can be found screaming at innocent fourth years in the library for talking too loudly," Lily introduced. Marlene smacked her lightly and smiled at the girl.

" Don't listen to Lily, she's the one who decided to take eight NEWT classes and captain the Quidditch team at the same time," Marlene chuckled. Lily snorted at her and took a sip of her team. Marlene eyed Tonks critically.

" You're Andromeda Black's daughter right?" Marlene asked. Tonks blushed and nodded shyly. Lily frowned when she noticed how shy the girl was about this subject.

" You're mum is great! She's so brave," Marlene answered. Tonks looked up with a grin. Lily knew that Marlene's words had helped her accept her. She let the two girls babble on and turned to the book she was reading. Lily usually couldn't stand Dickens works but she decided to give a Tale of Two Cities a shot.

She managed to plow through it on Wednesday night and start David Copperfield in the morning. By lunch she was halfway through it. She opened her book and leaned over the table to absorb the story. But Lily stopped; she glared at the book instead of the person she wanted to glare at. Michael was staring at her and Lily knew it. She sighed and closed her book; there was no way she could read while someone was staring at her.

Lily looked up and glanced at the table in the front of the room. She frowned when she noticed that both Professor Dumbledore and Professor Gladstone were not present. Lily's eyes moved to the Ravenclaw table and she stared at Justin Davies for a second. Her eyes immediately fled from his bruised and bandaged body when she remembered Potter's warning.

She couldn't do this. Lily knew that Dumbledore told her that there was no way out of a pureblood betrothal but Lily could still try and find a way out. She threw her battered copy of David Copperfield inside of her bag and moved to grab a pomegranate from the table. Lily frowned and looked at the table. She sucked in a breath when she noticed that there weren't any pomegranates inside of the fruit basket.

A scowl crossed her face but there wasn't anything Lily could do. She sighed and pulled her eyes away from the empty fruit basket. But that sent her eyes straight towards the Slytherin table. Lily wrinkled her nose at the sight of Jason practically humping a Ravenclaw. She was happy that her brother was back to his old cocky days, but seeing him grope a blond Ravenclaw wasn't her cup of tea.

Her eyes moved to the people around him. She could see Black flirting with a group of Hufflepuffs and Potter shoving his mouth against a Slytherin's mouth. He looked up and made eye contact with Lily. She blushed when he reached into the girl's shirt.

Lily ducked her eyes and looked down the Gryffindor table. She could see the other Gryffindors sitting together. They were speaking in low voices. Lily gulped when she caught Fabian sending Marlene a pleading stare. What was going on between the two of them?

" Lily we've got Potions," Marlene called out. Lily nodded and followed her friend down to the dungeons. She entered the classroom and took her seat next to Marlene. Professor Slughorn entered the room and his eyes traveled to Lily's figure.

" Miss Evans I hope that you'll be able to attend the Slugclub today," Slughorn called out. Lily nodded stiffly and he clapped his hands together.

" Good I've got a guest appearance from an old student of mine, Lucretia Sprout," Slughorn called out. Lily nodded at this. The name seemed oddly familiar, but Lily couldn't remember where she heard the name.

Lily pulled ponytail into a tight bun and leaned over her cauldron. Her potion was close to being completed. Lily added some chopped nightshade to mixture and watched as it turned to a pure black. She gave the potion a bitter stare before Slughorn came over.

" Nice work Miss McKinnon. Now let's see what lovely has made," Slughorn said with glee. Lily gave him a bitter smile and watched as he dropped a flower into the potion. It disintegrated on contact.

" Outstanding work," Slughorn called out. Lily nodded and vanished her potion. She never liked dark potions like the Draught of the Living Dead. The risk of making them in such a confined environment brought memories of her time in Beauxabatons back. Lily shuddered at the memory of Benjy Auclair accidently spilling some of a hair-loss potion on Haley Pontmercy. Lily frowned; Haley was muggleborn and Benjy said that she deserved it when he spilled the potion on her.

Lily didn't like to think about her days at Beauxabatons. She didn't have many friends there since she preferred Benjy's company to the girls in her dormitory. Yet she loved France. Lily missed the scenic hills and sloping cliffs looking over beaches.

The shrill sound of the bell broke Lily's thoughts. She packed her stuff up and left the potions classroom with Marlene. After working on some Transfiguration and Potions homework, Lily took a quick shower and changed into a green dress she had from her days in Greece. Lily pulled the straps up and cursed Selena under her breath. All of the clothing she bought with Selena seemed a bit too low cut.

But there was nothing she could do. Most of Lily's other dresses were too small on her. She didn't trust herself to do a proper enlargement spell. After sliding a necklace on, Lily pulled her hair into a ponytail.

" Why do you insist on leaving your hair up?" Marlene groaned form behind her. Lily glanced at Marlene. Marlene was wearing a pair of baggy sweatpants and a tank top since she was spending the night in the dorm reviewing for a Charms test. Marlene crossed the room and pulled the hairband out of Lily's hair.

" Go and don't you dare put your hair up again," Marlene ordered. Lily blushed and gave her friend a goodbye. She left the Gryffindor Common Room and trudged down to Slughorn's private rooms. She reached the dungeons a few minutes after the party started. Lily could hear chatter coming from the door to Slughorn's rooms. She entered the room and stared at the large crowds of people. Some students sent her curious stares as she walked into the room.

Lily could hear loud music playing in the background. Students dressed in suits carried trays of food around. Lily rolled her eyes at this; Slughorn would give extra credit to students who assisted with preparing his little get-to-togethers.

" Lovely Lily what a delight! I'm so glad you could make it to this party," Slughorn declared. Lily looked at him with thinly veiled distaste. He wore a set of brilliant orange dress robes.

" Well it's not like you made sure that Madame Hooch wouldn't let me book the pitch for my team's practice or anything," Lily drawled. Slughorn had the decency to blush slightly.  
" Lovely you so refreshing. Oh I just saw Mr. Gastor attempting to harass Ms. Skeeter of the Daily Profit. I'll be just a moment my dear," Slughorn called out. Lily bolted the second his neon robes disappeared into the crowd. She moved around students while muttering low apologies.

She felt someone trip her. Lily went flying and tried to regain her sense of balance before she could hit the ground. She felt someone pull her up and yank her into their chest. Lily looked up and paled when she saw that Jason was holding her.

" I heard that you were attempting to shag that Daily Profit reporter," Lily commented. Her brother grinned. His teeth showed viciously and Lily almost flinched.

" Who says that I didn't shag her?" Jason said in an innocent tone. Lily smacked him on the shoulder and glared at him.

" She's about ten years older than you," Lily scolded. Her brother laughed and pulled his arms off her.

" But she's a pretty good fuck," Jason quipped. Lily wrinkled her nose and moved away from him. She made her way through the crowd. Lily felt as though someone was following her. She quickened her pace and almost screamed when a hand grabbed her shoulder.

" Chrismas," a voice teased. Lily slapped the arm off her shoulder and glared up at Potter.

" Sadistic bastard," Lily greeted. He chuckled and moved towards her. Lily moved back and he frowned.

" Don't play hard to get," Potter ordered. Lily raised her eyebrow and stopped moving. Potter pulled her towards him and pressed her form against his chest. People around them started dancing when Black turned the radio on. Lily felt Potter wrap his arms around her waist possessively and move both of them into a swaying dance.

" Potter you have no control over me until March," Lily spat. She stepped on Potter's foot and he screwed his face up in pain as her heel crunched against his glossy shoes. He let go of her and Lily shot away from him. She ended up on the other side of the room near the dessert table.

" No pomegranate here. I already checked Rose," a voice assured from behind Lily. She turned and met the sky-blue eyes of Galen Kingsmill. He wore a toothy beam and Lily felt at home. She threw herself at his body and he tugged her into a tight embrace.

" Gale what are you doing here?" Lily asked. He grinned at her and tapped the top of her nose enduringly.

" Lucretia got invited and took me as her plus one. Don't worry I only came to see you," Galen explained. Lily remembered Slughorn telling her about Lucretia Sprout being at his party. She was Galen's partner; that's why her name was so familiar. Lily checked Galen's face for scars and saw that he didn't have a new one. He still had a twisted scar that stretched from his jaw to the tip of his collarbone. Lily hated the way it sliced over his throat.

" I'm hurt. I became this famous auror and you didn't bother to write to me," Galen teased. Lily raised an eyebrow at his mockingly hurt expression.

" You've got fan clubs here. These third years were trying to recruit me," Lily said dryly. Galen chortled and let go of her.

" I've been getting letters from those girls. Apparently a Miss Michele Simmons is my future wife," Galen teased. Lily rolled her eyes and he led her over to a quiet spot in the back of the room. Lily's eyes looked at his hand and he grinned.

" Since I'm not even a citizen of the British Wizard Population they gave me this ring instead of the usual medal. The Daily Profit covered it up as some auror garbage," Galen explained. Lily's fingers grazed the ring that adorned his left hand. It was a rich bronze and had the symbol of the Order of Merlin on it.

" That's rubbish. You've probably done more than most of the aurors here," Lily muttered. Galen shrugged ran a hand through his hair. He smiled at Lily' hair.

" Selena told me about this. Said you sent her a howler for screwing your hair up," Galen teased. He twisted a lock of her hair around his finger and his eyes crinkled with his amused smile.

Before Lily could answer she felt someone wrap his arm around her waist. She was pulled away from Galen. Her back was pressed into a hard chest and Lily looked up.

" Potter what are you doing?" Lily hissed. He didn't let go of her and ignored her question. Potter's eyes drilled into Galen's figure. Galen's face went from a mischievous and amused expression to a serious one. Lily struggled against Potter's arm and he tugged her further into his hold. Potter looked down at her with vexation.

" Who are you?" Potter barked to Galen. Lily shot him a disbelieving stare as she tried to pry his hand from her hip. He pulled her arms away from his hand and held them in his hand. Galen watched the exchange with distaste.

" Galen Kingsmill, but you can call me Auror Kingsmill. Would you prefer to let go of Rose or should I just detain you," Galen responded. Lily watched him in amazement; Auror Kingsmill was different from her Gale. Potter snorted and looked down at Lily.

" Rose seriously?" Potter sneered. Lily shot him a sharp glare and he watched her with an almost fond expression. Galen crossed his arms and took his wand out. Potter looked up at him with a vicious expression.

" James Potter otherwise known as Lily's future husband and the father of her children," Potter announced with a dry smirk. Lily felt a blush bloom in her chest and snake up her neck. It landed on her cheeks in a deep rosy red. Galen gaped at Potter with a stunned expression. Lily looked around the room and saw that no one was watching them. Either Galen or Potter must have kept a concealment charm on their location.

" Rose this is the bastard you're going to marry?" Galen asked in a disgusted tone. Lily met his eyes in a bitter stare.

" Unfortunately Gale he is," Lily answered. Potter tugged her closer to his chest. Lily's feet slipped in between his and she squirmed against him. She turned her head towards his and met his eyes in a heated stare.

" Potter let go of me," Lily ordered. A slow smirk stretched across Potter's face and he brushed a strand of hair off of Lily's face. She ignored the sparks that came from his touch and wrestled her hands out of his hold.

" Potter you don't own Lily, not yet. So if you don't get your hands off her, I'll jinx them off your arms," Galen threatened. Lily looked up at him and grimaced at the dark look on his face. Potter snorted and let go of Lily. He sent Galen a sharp glare before facing Lily.

" I honestly can't do anything about him now, but once you belong to me, you will be punished for every little mistake you've made," Potter snarled near Lily's ear. He looked up and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Lily pulled back and stared at his retreating figure. Her lips trembled and Galen pulled her into a tight hug.

" It'll be okay Rose," Galen assured. Lily blinked and looked up at him with a composed expression.

" I know it will be. I'm going to find out how to break this betrothal. I refuse to marry James Potter. I can't be stuck with a sadistic arse like him," Lily vowed.

_A pureblood betrothal is the best way to form an alliance between two families. It is usually formed before the first birthday of the girl involved in it. Until the day the girl comes of age, she is under her birth family's jurisdiction. On her seventeenth birthday she will be moved to the ownership of her future husband if he is of age. If he isn't then the girl will belong to him once he comes of age. A gap year between the girl's seventeenth and eighteenth year was recently introduced to ensure the most productive marriages. Usually, weddings occur once the girl has finished her school years._

_Several laws have been made to support the girl's part in the betrothal. Before 1935, girls would be restricted from continuing their education if their future husband desired so. This changed so that the man could not restrict the woman from getting a higher education. But some parts have remained the same regarding the betrothal. Spells are placed on both parties to restrict the amount of people able to know about the arrangement until the girl's entrance to society ball. Also, the betrothal cannot be broken unless the parents of the two families and the witness of the agreement consent to it. Even then, there is a chance of the repercussions of rejecting the marriage._

_For the man it involves death or infertility. Usually the death will be painless, or slightly painful. Known rejections of the arrangement described it to be like a bolt of lightening in the heart. For the woman this is much different. If she rejects the marriage, it usually doesn't interfere with the arrangement. It is not her choice it is her duty. Rejection of the arrangement will force an extreme compulsion charm to the girl that has been known to be somewhat like the imperius curse. If both parties reject the arrangement, then death will be the consequence._

_Most families use fidelity charms on the couple during the wedding ceremony. Consequences of committing adultery involve divorce if the man has done so or death if the woman has done so._

_Usually after a few years, the fidelity charms react with the compulsion charms to ensure a healthy relationship in the relationship has been inadequate._

Lily stopped reading the passage and shut the book shut. She glared at the cover and ran her hands through her hair. She checked her watch and realized that the library would be closing soon. She began to shelf the large stacks of books that she was using to assist her research.

So far, she hadn't learned anything she didn't know from before. Purists wrote most of the books from decades ago, this emphasized the sexism present in the pureblood betrothal. Lily didn't want to be forced into marrying Potter. She didn't want a compulsion charm to be placed on her. Most girls didn't want that. She would prefer to have a reluctant wedding than a forced one.

As she kept the books away Lily tried to push the dread away. She needed to get some new information about the betrothal. She had to find something new. How could she free herself from a marriage looming ahead?

It hit her like a bullet. Lily was so stupid why didn't she realize this before. She quickly shoved books into the shelves and grabbed her bag. Her feet pounded into the floor as she sprinted to the Gryffindor Common Room. Lily slipped, but she didn't stop running.

Lily entered the common room and ignored the stares people were giving her. Her sneakers thudded against the floorboards as she leaped up the stairs and into her dormitory. Lily threw the door open and made her way to the trunk positioned at the front of her bed. She pounded against the lid and it flipped into a secret compartment. Lily pulled her mum's notebook out and spelled the trunk shut. She grabbed it and used a summoning spell to find an entry on what she was looking for.

Her mum had arranged the betrothals for four of her children. If anyone knew the details of a pureblood betrothal it would be Delphina Gastor. Lily's spell hit the notebook but it didn't have the desired affect. Instead of opening the notebook remained shut. Lily scowled and pulled it to her chest. She tried to open it but it refused to open. Lily glared at the black cover and watched as a set of gold words looped into existence.

_Don't look for things that are already in plain sight._

Lily scowled at the words and tried to open the notebook. It wouldn't budge. She shoved it into her trunk and locked the lid. Her back leaned against the back of the trunk. What did that mean? The message where did it come from and how was what she requested already in plain view?

She wasn't in the mood for more riddles. Lily grabbed her Charms homework and tried to forget about the notebook. But it stayed in the back of her head.

" Mr. Gastor ten points from Slytherin! That plant you just murdered was imported from Albany," Professor Sprout barked. Lily glanced at her brother from the corner of her eye. He hid his mischievous grin behind his arm and nodded at Professor Sprout.

Lily finished the assignment and turned to her brother. She frowned at him and he glanced at her. His hair swept into his eyes but he didn't seem to notice. The girls in their class sighed and glanced at Jason with desire. Lily scoffed at them and gave her brother a puzzled look.

" What?" Jason asked. Lily's face screwed up in concentration and she bit her lip. Jason turned his body to hers and looked into her eyes. Lily cleared her throat at his wolfish expression and brushed a strand of hair out of her eye.

" Why did mum name you Jason?" Lily asked. Her brother looked at her with a worried face before breaking into laughter. His face stretched into a wide grin and people turned to bask in the glory that was Jason Gastor's laugh. Lily huffed and heard the bell ring. She gathered her stuff and shot Jason a glare before headed out of the greenhouse.

" Wait you really don't know?" Jason asked with a grin. Lily scowled at him before marching up the pathway. She saw Marlene walking ahead of her with Black. They seemed to be arguing so Lily didn't walk with Marlene. She turned to Jason and nodded. He brushed some of his hair out of his eyes and grinned at her.

" Mum's dad Jason Lilius, Honestly Lily you're the one who lived with the bloke," Jason answered. Lily looked at him with realization and thanked him. She broke off from him and headed up to her History of Magic class.

Something about what Jason said was wrong. Lily's grandfather's name wasn't Jason: it was Adonis. Lily frowned; why would her parents lie to Jason about his name. Her life just kept tangling into more and more secrets.

She pulled the strap of her bag up and entered the classroom as the bell rang. Lily's lips curled into an expression of distaste as she moved to the row that Potter was in. He looked up at her with a smirk and she ignored him. Lily took the seat farthest from Potter and sat on the edge of her chair. She ignored Potter and started taking notes on the interactions between the Romans and Wizards.

" Evans what are you doing? That's not your seat," Potter scolded in a mocking tone. Lily looked over at him with distaste. She flipped her head back down and scraped her quill against her parchment harshly. She listened to Professor Binns go on and on about how Wizards assisted in building the Roman aqueducts.

" Lily I asked you a question," Potter's voice whispered into her ear. Lily met his eyes in fury. She shoved his body from her shoulder and ignored his cocky stare. Some of the girls in front of her turned and shot her dirty looks. Lily scowled at Potter and pushed her seat away from him.

" Christmas if you're still upset about Slughorn's party that's a tad petty," Potter commented. Lily growled and faced him. She wanted to slap that smug grin off his face and shove him off his seat.

" You were being a jealous prat," Lily snarled. Potter rolled his eyes at this and grabbed her bag and parchment. He shoved it down the table towards his seat and turned to her. His fingers plucked Lily's quill from her hands and threw it towards his seat.

" I don't like it when people try and play with my stuff," Potter answered. Before Lily could muster a response, Potter grabbed her and dragged her to his seat. His hand covered her mouth and muffled her protests. Lily drilled her eyes into Potter's head as he placed her body on the seat next to his. She bit his hand and he drew it back.

" Dammit Evans if you want to be kinky there are other things you can bite," Potter groaned. Lily rolled her eyes at his innuendo and grabbed her parchment and bag. She tried to stand but Potter pulled her down. She landed on her seat with a thud. The other members of their class turned and stared at her and Potter. Binns droned on as Lily blushed. Potter shot the girls in the front row flirtation winks before sending the boys threatening looks.

Lily blushed and smacked him. He pulled her right arm down to his side and held it there. Lily struggled against his tight hold but he wouldn't let go. His fingers slid into her hand. She ignored the sense of comfort that came from this and swatted Potter with her free hand.

" Evans if you want to keep your hands then stop hitting me," Potter hissed under his breath. Lily mulled his warning over and ignored it. She tried to pry her fingers from his grip and Potter trapped both of her hands with one of his. Lily's body was tugged closer to him and she struggled against his hand. Potter glanced at her with a smirk and leaned in.

" If you want to get your hands back it's very simple Evans. Just give me a kiss," Potter bargained. Lily shoved him and he chuckled. She could feel his free hand tracing patterns against her bare leg. Lily wanted nothing more than for him to stop touching her.

She leaned down and pressed her lips to his hand for less than a second. Lily bolted up and raised her eyebrows at Potter.

" I kissed you now give me my hands back," Lily ordered. Potter frowned at her and let go of her hands reluctantly. Lily hid her smirk and began taking notes on the lecture.

" I only let you go since I'm a man of my word. But next time I ask for kiss I want it on the lips," Potter announced. Lily rolled her eyes and angled her paper so her back was facing Potter. She doubted that Potter was a man even capable of living up to his words. Potter was a spoiled brat who didn't deserve her attention.

" We've got the first match of the year on Sunday. So I'd appreciate if you could actually hit the damn bludger," Lily shouted. Only a few minutes ago she was flying through the pitch going over drills with the other seekers. Then one of the beaters accidently sent a bludger at her and she was propelled off her broom. Lily landed on the ground and felt something crack inside of her.

She shoved her body off the ground and feel back down. Lily gritted her teeth and lifted the hem of her shirt. She could see small rivulets of blood falling down her waist. The rest of the Gryffindor team flew down to where she was and Marlene whistled as Lily's bloodstained shirt.

" Evans I'm so sorry I didn't mean to do that," Gideon stuttered. Lily ignored him and let out a low hiss as Marlene prodded her side. Lily touched the edge of her ribs and scowled. Adam and Frank hoisted her up on their shoulders and she spoke. " It's fine Gideon. Hopefully it'll be a Slytherin next time," Lily offered. She turned to her team and frowned.

" Practice is over. I'm going to the hospital wing and getting this checked out. If I can't play on Saturday then you guys will be fine. If I can play then we'll beat those snakes so badly that they'll be out of competition for the Cup," Lily declared. The team nodded at her and started to pack the equipment up. Adam and Frank helped her get to the hospital wing. Lily looked down at her leg and saw that the blood had fully covered her shirt. It was dripping on the floor as they entered the castle

She frowned and felt pain lance through her ribs. But Lily refused to show weakness. She knew that her blood had fallen on Adam and Frank. The thing is that her old friends managed to keep their distrust for her off the pitch ever since tryouts. She was more then grateful that Adam and Frank were the ones taking her to Pomfrey.

Lily swayed as they crossed the threshold of the entrance halll She leaned against Adam's shoulder and felt the need to sleep. Shit she couldn't sleep now. Lily glanced at Frank and cleared her throat.

" Longbottom I need you to punch me in the side," Lily ordered. Frank stopped moving and gaped at her. She gritted her teeth and fault against the waves of exhaustion.

" What," Frank demanded. Lily swayed slightly and closed her eyes for a moment.

" I've lost too much blood. I'm going to fall asleep any minute now. If you punch me then the pain will keep me awake," Lily explained. Frank stared at her apprehensively and she glared at him. Lily took her wand from her robes and pointed it at herself.

" Fine I'll just-," Lily started. She poked her wand straight into her side and screamed with pain. Lily let got of her wand and felt Frank and Adam tug her up. They practically dragged her to the hospital wing from there. But Lily wasn't aware of this. Hitting her last rib had broke through the barriers she made in her memories. She should feel her body flying towards a large tree. She could feel the landing crush her side. Lily could see Benjy's glazed, dead eyes.

Suddenly her body stopped moving. She groaned and tried to fight the memories, but it didn't work. " Madame Pomfrey," someone shouted. Lily heard footsteps but she couldn't pay attention to them. She closed her eyes and saw Michael's ripped and exposed wounds. She could see his burned flesh and the larges gashes adorning his torso. She was taken from her old position and thrown against a chest. Lily moaned against it; she felt so comforted. For a moment her memories disappeared, but then she was wrenched away from the chest.

Lily screamed when she saw Michael writhe in pain. She couldn't save him; he was already lost. Every single jagged incision that crossed his back bolded out and screamed at her.

" Michael don't die not now please," Lily implored.

She shoved herself out of those memories. She couldn't do this; she couldn't live through seeing Michael tortured over and over again. She couldn't feel that horrible pain in her chest explode over and over again.

Suddenly something hit her and the memories faded away. Lily was left alone for a moment. But her relief was short lived; her demons wouldn't be gone for long. Sooner or later they would come back. Her thoughts were drowned out by the infinite sea of chaos.

* * *

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	12. Audentes Fortuna Iuvat

**Chapter 12 Audentes Fortuna Iuvat**

**(Bridge Over Troubled Water)**

* * *

Her eyes slowly opened. Breathe in and breathe out. Lily's side ached uncomfortably but she wasn't in pain. That was the best sleep she had gotten in days. Bright light hit her and she blinked rapidly. Once Lily's eyes adapted to the light, she looked around the room. It smelled of sterilization and everything was a tad too neat. She was in the Hospital Wing.

" Miss Evans that was some fall you had," a voice uttered. Lily looked up and saw Madame Pomfrey standing near her side. The stern matron checked Lily's side and made a noise of approval.

" You've been in here since Wednesday Miss Evans. Mr. McKinnon and Mr. Longbottom brought you here and you promptly fell into a fit. I stunned you and healed your wounds. You broke every single rib on your left side. Right now they're healed but you'll feel discomfort for another day or two. I'm discharging you before breakfast tomorrow," Madame Pomfrey explained.

Lily nodded and rested on her back. She remembered a spell hitting her after she screamed. Lily blinked and looked up at Madame Pomfrey.

" Will I be able to play in the game," Lily asked. Madame Pomfrey's face screwed up in distaste.

" You should rest to prevent further damage, but technically I can't keep you from playing," Madame Pomfrey answered. Lily sighed in relief and let the mediwitch change her bandages. She turned the lights off and left Lily in darkness. Lily slept through the night and woke early in the morning. Madame Pomfrey came to her bed and changed her bandages again around seven.

" Miss Evans I had Miss McKinnon retrieve some of your clothing for you," Madame Pomfrey announced. She handed Lily her Quidditch uniform. Lily slipped into it and ignored the pressure on her side. She checked her appearance in the mirror near her. Her skin was pale; it lost its tan state permanently. She pulled her hair into a tight ponytail and shoved her padding on.

She stood and grabbed her wand from the side table near her bed. She saw that her broom had been left by the side of her bed and held it in her hand. After thanking Madame Pomfrey, she left the hospital wing and headed down to the Great Hall.

Loud voices echoed from the hall. Lily knew that the first match of the year was important to the students and faculty. She stood in front of the Great Hall and took a step inside of it. The Slytherin table seemed to already be celebrating. Boisterous voices echoed from it as they cheered. The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws wore signs of which team they were rooting for, but they weren't as loud as the Slytherins. The Gryffindor table was silent. Lily could see the team sitting in the middle of the table solemnly.

A boy sitting at the Ravenclaw table glanced in her direction and paled at the sight of her. She could hear silence slowly rip through the hall as she made her way to her team. The first person to notice her was Marlene. A grin crossed Marlene's face as she saw Lily wearing her uniform.

" Lily are you playing?" Frank asked. Lily heard silence as she cleared her throat. She grinned at Frank and glanced at Michael who sat next to him.

" Well I'm wearing my uniform aren't I?" Lily announced. Her team stood and cheered. A grin slipped on Lily's face as she slid in between Trevor and Adam. She ignored the food and faced her team. The Great Hall broke into cheers; Hogwarts wanted an exciting game not a boring one.

" Pomfrey said I broke most of my ribs. She healed them so I'm able to play," Lily explained. Fabian looked down guiltily and Lily patted his shoulder.

" Don't feel guilty. The Slytherins probably haven't practiced all week since they thought that we didn't have a seeker," Lily declared. Potter was arrogant enough to do something like that. Fabian nodded and the team started strategizing.

" No one knows about the switch we had with me and Trevor. The commentator will announce us and everybody will wonder why the positions were switched. I could probably get the quaffle while they're confused as to why the seeker is playing as a chaser," Lily started. She checked her watch and stood.

" I'm going down to the pitch," Lily announced. No one noticed that she didn't eat anything other than a piece of toast. She grabbed her broom and stood. Her eyes flashed to the Slytherin table. She met a pair of hazel eyes and almost smirked at Potter's furious expression. Lily could see the Slytherin team gaping at her as she walked out of the Great Hall.

Her footsteps echoed as she exited the castle. Grass was crushed under her shoes as she made her way to the pitch.

" What are you doing?" someone demanded. Lily turned and met Potter's eyes. He was clenching his fists and standing over her. Lily crossed her arms and me Potter's eyes in a furious glare.

" I'm captaining my team," Lily answered. Potter scoffed and moved his arm towards her. He tapped her side and Lily repressed the flicker of pain in her eyes. But Potter saw her doing that.

" You're injured and playing in one of the most violent sports known to exist. Why'd Pomfrey even let you out?" Potter scolded.

" I'm fine. And it's none of your concern. You don't have any jurisdiction over me yet," Lily spat. She turned from Potter and walked down to the pitch. She felt relieved when he didn't follow her. She entered the girls' locker room and sat on the bench in it.

" Are you sure you can play today?" Marlene asked a few minutes later. Lily checked her watch; the game was starting in ten minutes. She rolled her eyes at Marlene's expression and stood.

" I'm fine Marlee. If Pomfrey let me out then I must be fine," Lily announced. She and Marlene went over to the team meeting room. Her eyes flicked over Adam who was assisting Trevor with his equipment. Her team looked up at her as she entered the room. Lily cleared her throat.

" I don't have Wood's pep talk capabilities but I'll give it a shot. This isn't for us. We're winning this game for Dorcas Meadows and Benjy Fenwick. We're winning this game for Michael Wood. We're winning this game for hope. I know that every person on this team can beat the shit out of the Slytherin team so let's do it," Lily announced.

The team cheered. Lily wasn't used to being a leader, but she was getting the hang of it. Lily lined up with them and waited for the announcer to announce them.

" Chang graduated so who's the new commentator?" Adam asked. Lily frowned and wondered who was chosen. Before she could say anything, a voice interrupted her.

" Welcome to the first game of the year. I'm Remus Lupin the commentator for the Inter-house Cup. Today we've got a game between Slytherin and Gryffindor," a voice shouted. Lily wondered why Lupin was made commentator; he was a Slytherin. She ignored her questions and prepared herself for the rush of a good Quidditch game.

" First we've got the Slytherin team; the two beaters, Sirius Black and Vincent Crabbe. Next we have the Keeper Steven Flint. We've got the seeker Regulus Black. And lastly the three chasers, Jason Gastor, Anton Dolohov and the captain James Potter," Lupin called out.

Lily heard cheers breaking out from the crowd. She rolled her eyes at the girls screaming their love for Potter and Black. A silence filled the pitch as Lupin announced her team.

" Please welcome the Gryffindor team; Fabian and Gideon Prewitt the beaters. Wait is this a mistake Professor McGonagall?" Lupin started. His voice was dubious and he started speaking to Professor McGonagall. Lily waited for him to start speaking again with a smile.

" Sorry about that. Adam McKinnon, the Keeper. Then we've got Trevor Griffiths as the seeker. Lastly there's the three chasers; Marlene McKinnon, Frank Longbottom and the captain Lily Evans," Remus announced. No one cheered as he listed the team in a skeptical voice.

Lily rolled her eyes and followed Frank in a lap around the pitch. She landed to Madame Hooch's left and met Potter's furious eyes. Lily smirked at his expression and faced him. Madame Hooch announced the rules and Lily held her hand out. Potter took it and gave it a tight squeeze. Lily watched as the bludgers, quaffle, and snitch was released. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of the snitch. But it wasn't her responsibility anymore.

" Begin," Madame Hooch shouted. Lily sent her team a nod before jumping on her broom. She sped towards the quaffle before most of the players had even gotten on their brooms. Lily grabbed it and threw in through the Slytherin hoops before Flint even arrived at the hoops.

" 10-0 in favor of Gryffindor. Looks like Evans can actually play," Lupin shouted. Potter shouted at Flint and turned to Lily. She flew past him and followed the quaffle. Jason was flying towards the Gryffindor hoops with the quaffle in his hands. Frank guarded him and he made a move to throw the quaffle to Potter. Lily quickly flew in between the pass and grabbed the quaffle. She flew towards the Slytherin hoops and dodged a bludger. Potter was directly on her tail so Lily threw the quaffle to Marlene.

" 20-0 in favor of Gryffindor. The Gryffindor's secret switching of positions seems to be paying off," Lupin called out. Lily heard Potter grunt in annoyance. Flint threw the quaffle to Potter and he darted to the Gryffindor hoops. Lily followed him and he passed Jason the quaffle. Lily ducked down to Jason.

" Keeping secrets Lily," Jason teased. Lily ignored his smirk and flew against his side. He passed the quaffle back to Potter who scored.

" 20-10 in favor of Gryffindor," Lupin called out. Lily fumed and barked for Frank to stay on Jason. Adam threw her the quaffle and she flew directly at the ground. Right before she hit the solid surface Lily pulled up and threw the quaffle to Frank. She flew right into the heat of the game and dodged a quaffle.

" 30-10 in favor of Gryffindor," Lupin announced. Flint passed the quaffle to Dolohov and Marlene darted after him. Lily tried to fly after Marlene but a bludger skimmed her back. Lily sucked a breath in and saw that Crabbe was looking at her with a smug expression. She scowled and flew towards the Gryffindor hoops.

" McKinnon catches the ball. He throws it to Evans," Lupin shouted. Lily grabbed the quaffle and flew across the pitch. Suddenly someone shoved her and she dropped the quaffle. Lily clutched her side and saw Dolohov smirking at her. She hissed in pain and sat up. Dolohov shoved her ribs that had just healed.

" Foul for Evans," Lupin called out. Lily beamed and Potter reluctantly tossed her the quaffle. She flew to the Slytherin hoops and saw Trevor circling the pitch with Regulus Black on his tail. Her hands moved towards the left hoop and Flint flew there. Lily watched as the quaffle swerved and arched through the right most hoop.

" 40-10 in favor of Gryffindor," Lupin called out. Potter yelled at Flint as he caught the quaffle. He dove to the ground in a cocky feint before flying up. Lily rolled her eyes at the girls who screamed and cheered for him. She darted after him and flew directly in front of him. Potter stopped flying and smirked at her.

" You're a better seeker. You're too distracted by the rest of the game," Potter called out. He threw the quaffle to Dolohov and Marlene intercepted it. Lily grinned as her friend scored another goal.

" It pays to give the entire game attention," Lily called out. She heard the familiar swoosh of the bludger and moved to her left. The bludger hit Potter's leg and he grunted. Lily ignored him and flew after Jason. Frank was distracted by a bludger and Dolohov was with Marlene. She was on Jason tail when he threw the quaffle.

" 50-20 Gryffindor," Lupin shouted. Adam passed the quaffle to Frank and Lily moved after the seventh year. She flew behind Frank and in front of Adam.

" Gastor is injured on his right side. When he shoots be ready for a throw to the left," Lily ordered Adam. He nodded and Lily flew back to the game. She saw Potter intercepting the quaffle and flying towards the Gryffindor hoops. Lily flew in front of him and blocked his view. He smirked at her and threw the ball towards the hoops. Adam caught the quaffle and passed it to Lily.

She flew into the middle of the pitch and tossed the quaffle to Frank who scored. Flint handed Potter the ball but he dropped it when Gideon sent a bludger at him. Lily grinned at Gideon and caught the quaffle. She threw it to Marlene, but Dolohov intercepted.

" Lily," Marlene shouted. Lily looked up and saw bludger flying towards her. She moved to her left and the bludger hit Jason.

" Oi Black try hitting the Gryffindors," Jason shouted. Lily snorted and flew to Frank.

" Switch you take Potter I'll get Gastor," Lily ordered. Frank nodded and darted after Potter. Lily turned to Jason and grabbed the quaffle as it flew towards him. She whizzed across the field and away from the Gryffindor hoops. Her feet shoved her broom harshly as she inched closer and closer to the Slytherin hoops. Playing as a chaser was more exhilarating than seeking.

" 100-90 Gryffindor," Lupin announced half an hour later. Lily cheered as Marlene got a goal. She followed Dolohov and Frank intercepted a pass between him and Potter. Lily nodded at Fabian as he hit a bludger away from Marlene. She could see the bludger flying towards Flint. Lily could see Trevor circling the pitch. Black was on the other side and Lily frowned. She glanced at Frank and flew towards Trevor.

" Seen the snitch yet?" Lily asked. Trevor looked up and seemed surprised to see her.

" Yeah twice but Black keeps sending bludgers at me," Trevor confessed. Lily nodded and flew towards Gideon.

" Go to Trevor. Fabian's got Frank and Marlene. Adam and I will be fine," Lily ordered. Gideon nodded and flew up to their seeker. Lily saw that Frank got a goal while she was busy and the Potter was in possession of the quaffle. A bludger flew near Lily and she dodged it. She watched in horror as it flew straight towards Adam.

" McKinnon," Lily yelled. Adam saw the bludger and quickly dodged it. Lily slumped in relief and flew towards Potter. She intercepted his throw and pushed her broom to the opposite hoops. Her hands flung the quaffle into the middle hoop and it sailed through.

" 150- 90 Gryffindor," Lupin announced. Lily grinned and switched with Marlene. She trailed Dolohov and glanced at Frank who was blocking Potter. Potter threw the ball to Dolohov and Lily missed the interception. She scowled and flew after the burly seventh year.

" Dolohov scores. 150-100 Gryffindor," Lupin commented. Adam chucked the quaffle to Lily and she feinted left. Dolohov flew into a bludger and Lily crossed the pitch. She was near the Hufflepuff stands when Potter appeared on her right side. Lily glared at him as he tried to block her path. She flew up and to the left but Potter was one step ahead of her.

"This is such a turn on Evans. I can't wait until we win this. Seeing your angry face is so comforting," Potter taunted. Lily shoved him and he faltered. She took the opportunity to pass the quaffle to Marlene. Lily flew towards the hoops and evaded several of Crabbe's bludger shots. She gritted her teeth as one flew directly by her nose.

" Oi Crabbe try not to damage Evans' face," Potter called out. Lily rolled her eyes and flew across the pitch away from him. She didn't need Potter looking after her. Lily paused as the snitch flew in front of her. She saw Trevor flying on the other side of the pitch.

" Griffiths could you try to find the snitch?" Lily shouted. She gave up her and Adam's protection so that Trevor could catch the snitch. She didn't expect him to take another thirty minutes. Suddenly the quaffle came flying at her. Lily grabbed it inches from her face and shot Frank and annoyed expression. She flew towards the Slytherin hoops with the quaffle tucked under her arm.

" 190- 120 Gryffindor," Lupin said. Lily grinned and didn't move. She saw Marlene intercept the pass between Potter and Gastor. She threw the quaffle across the pitch and Lily caught it and threw in straight into a hoop with a concise toss.

" Evans scores again. 200-120 Gryffindor," Lupin cried out loud. Lily could hear Potter yelling at his Keeper and smirked. She intercepted the throw from the Slytherin Keeper and Potter. He glared at her as she crossed the pitch. Lily's eyes unconsciously moved towards the Gryffindor stands. She grinned at the sight of Michael decked out in Gryffindor colors and face paint.

A bludger zoomed by her and Lily ducked. She blushed for getting distracted. She shoved her chest against the wood of her broom and it swiftly flew through the pitch. Lily could see Marlene and Frank tailing her as she ended up in front of the Slytherin hoops. Lily slung the quaffle at the hoop and it sailed through the hoops.

Evans scores! Wait Griffiths has caught the snitch! Gryffindor wins 360-130," Lupin called out. Lily grinned and Marlene cheered. She ripped the glove off her hand and looked to the stands. Lily heard a sickening thud and her eyes focused on Adam as he fell to the ground across the pitch. Lily immediately flew after his limp body. She grabbed her wand and shot a cushioning charm on the ground as she neared him. Blood fell through the air as he continued to sail limply through the air.

Lily's fingers grabbed his shoulder and she let go of her broom. Suddenly a bludger hit her on the side and she was shoved off her broom. Lily grabbed Adam's body as they fell and shoved it on top of hers. If he was going to fall it was her fault. She told Gideon to protect Trevor instead of him.

" Crabbe and Black have illegally sent two bludgers at Evans and McKinnon after the end of the game," Lupin shouted. As Lily fell she grabbed her wand and shoved Adam's body above hers. She shouted a spell and braced herself to hit the ground. She landed with a thud and Adam landed on top of her. She groaned and shoved his body off hers. The cushioning charm prevented them from dying.

" Lily," Marlene shouted. A groan escaped Lily's mouth and she felt someone pull her up. Lily met Potter's eyes as he leaned over her figure. She tried to move and sat up. Lily noticed loud voices and people coming to her and Adam. She looked over at his body and saw that he was waking. He didn't look injured. Lily rolled her head back and felt Potter lift her up. She tried to get out of his arms but her body didn't want to.

" Potter I'm fine. Put me down," Lily groaned. She was fine; the cushioning charms she used seemed to prevent her from getting injured. The bludger that hit her would bruise her but wouldn't wound. Potter didn't let go of her and carried her towards the rest of her team.

" Lily thank Merlin you saved him," Emmeline exclaimed. Lily felt Fabian and Frank muttered a thanks to Potter. They pulled her up and she stood. Lily met Potter's eyes and could see a hidden layer of pain in them. She didn't understand why he was so worried and pained. But she was thankful.

Suddenly Potter caught someone's eye and turned from her. Lily watched in horror as he walked up to Black and pulled his arm back. The sound of his fist connecting with Black's jaw rang through the pitch. Lily could see Jason throwing Crabbe to the ground.

" Mr. Potter and Mr. Gastor that is enough," Professor McGonagall screeched. It didn't work. Lily shuddered as she watched Potter pound his fist into Black's body. Dolohov and Flint grabbed Jason and pulled him off Crabbe. Two burly Slytherins grabbed Potter and pulled him off Black. Lily gulped and watched as Potter lashed out at them. His eyes met hers and he suddenly stopped. Lily turned her head and looked down at Adam. Emmeline and Alice were next to him. Gideon and Michael propped him up and he grinned at Lily.

" Thanks Lily," Adam announced. His smile was the crooked smile that Lily remembered from last year. Her heart tugged and she pulled him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around her and Lily blinked her tears away.

" I told you to watch your back McKinnon," Lily scolded. She looked up and noticed that all of the 6th and 7th year Gryffindors were with them. Her heart ached with joy when she saw that they weren't glaring at her. They were smiling sincerely. Lily met Michael's eyes and he cleared his throat.

" I'm sorry Lily. It was wrong of me to ask you for so much. I guess we're all allowed to keep our secrets," Michael apologized. Lily nodded and turned from Adam she tugged Michael into a tight embrace and sighed into his shoulder.

" I just got you 20 galleons Wood I think that I can forgive you if you get me some chocolate," Lily teased. Michael grinned and she faced her team. Lily gave Trevor a high-five and cleared her throat.

" I think that Trevor deserves the best player award for today's performance," Lily announced. The Gryffindor cheered and their housemates joined them. Adam raised his head and declared that there would be a part in the Gryffindor Common Room. Pomfrey came and examined her and Adam; she reluctantly said that they were healthy and let them go.

Lily looked to the other side of the pitch. She could see Slytherin helping Black and Crabbe get onto a pair of stretchers. Potter and Jason stood away from their housemates getting scolded by Professor McGonagall. Lily waited until the Gryffindors left for the Tower. The Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs soon followed; they were eager for one of the Gryffindor victory parties. Slytherins began to mill off. After thirty minutes the only people left on the pitch were Professor McGonagall, Lily, Jason, and Potter.

" Excellent work Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall commended as she exited the pitch. Lily nodded and pulled the hairband out of her hair. It fell down her back and she walked over to Jason and Potter. Potter looked up and his eyes analyzed her figure with concern.  
" What the hell is wrong with you two?" Lily roared. Her face turned a cherry red as she stood in front of Potter and Jason. They gaped at her in shock. Lily glared at them.

" Why did you decide to beat up your beaters?" Lily demanded. Potter snorted and ran a hand through his hair.

" If you didn't remember our conversation in the hospital wing Evans I told you that I don't like it when people touch what belongs to me," Potter explained. Lily sighed and knew that Potter thought he was right. She turned to Jason with a furious stare.

" I was defending my sister," Jason explained. Lily snorted and tugged on the end of her hair with a distasteful expression.

" Look Crabbe and Black got a bunch of detentions and lost over 100 points for Slytherin. Was it really necessary to beat them to the pulp?" Lily demanded. Potter rolled his eyes and grabbed her hand. He pulled her close.

Lily didn't want to move though. She was so angry with Jason and Potter but being in Potter's arms had a comforting affect. She glared up at Potter and he smirked at her. Lily heard Jason clear his throat and looked over at him.

" Petal it's alright. Look Prongs and I only got a week of detention and Padfoot will recover. Prongs I'm going to head up to the common room. If you try anything with Lily I'll castrate you in your sleep," Jason threatened. Lily blushed and Potter snorted.

" Sure you will," Potter drawled. Lily blushed and watched her brother leave the pitch. It was dark enough to see the sun starting to set. Lily strained her neck up and saw flashes of passionate reds and oranges streaming across the sky. Potter wrapped his arms around her and Lily could feel his heart pounding against her forehead.

" It's dusk," Lily murmured. Potter made a noise of contentment when she didn't fight his hold. Lily was just too tired to deal with Potter. He leaned his head against her head and looked down at her eyes. Lily bit her lip and looked away uncomfortably. Potter drummed his fingers against her hip and Lily relaxed.

" Why do you do this to me?" Potter suddenly asked. Lily looked at his with a frown. His eyes met hers in an intense stare.

" Why do you always have to get hurt," Potter whispered. Lily leaned her head down and shivered. Potter noticed this and pulled her tightly to his warm chest. Lily looked down and met his eyes.

" Why do you care?" Lily asked. His eyes bore into hers with a shocked expression. Potter seemed to be hiding something. He coughed and cleared his throat.

" Congrats on the win Evans, but next time we both know that I'm going to be the winner. You just had the element of surprise," Potter cockily declared. Lily rolled her eyes and met his eyes in a challenging stare.

" I doubt it. We have our next game in December and I'm more than positive that Gryffindor will win," Lily vowed. Potter grinned viciously at her. He leaned down and his lips brushed her hair. Long fingers wrapped around her shoulder and Potter's lips met her ear.

" Want to make a bet Lily?" Potter asked in an arrogant tone. Lily felt his chest vibrate with his words. She met his eyes and snorted.

" Potter you're a Slytherin. I would be an idiot to make a bet with you," Lily scoffed. Potter grinned at her and raised an eyebrow.

" Oh so you're scared? I bet you're afraid that I'll win the next match," Potter teased. Lily looked up into his eyes and frowned.

" Fine what are the terms," she asked. Potter grinned and his fingers tapped her hip joyously. Lily gulped at the venomous expression on his gloating face.

" If you win then I'll leave you alone until my seventeenth birthday. I won't speak to you or even look at you. But if I win then you have to spend the entire Christmas Holiday with me at my house in Godric's Hallow and do whatever I say," Potter bargained.

The idea of Potter leaving her alone was too tempting. Potter kept his hand out and Lily looked at it. But the consequences of loosing a game were too much. Yet the idea of Potterless life for three months was blissful.

Lily held her hand out and wrapped it around Potter's large one. Her skin looked so pale in comparison to his cinnamon colored hand. He shook her hand tightly and grinned at her. Lily lifted her head and made eye contact with him.

" You have a deal," Lily declared. She let go of Potter's hand and brushed the dirt off her uniform. Her hands grabbed her broom and equipment off the ground. She turned and began to exit the pitch. Potter stayed there and watched as she proudly exited the field. Both of them though that they were going to win the bet. But only one of them could. The idea of victory was so pleasing to their minds. Yet the idea of losing was not a possibility; they couldn't afford to think that way.

Two months later there would be one winner of their bet. The other would graciously accept defeat and fulfill the terms of the deal. Either way, Lily's last weekend at Hogwarts would be a very special one. It was the day of the second Gryffindor- Slytherin match and Sirius Black's seventeenth birthday. Even if Lily won the bet, Marlene would lose her freedom that night.

Lily pushed those thoughts away as she entered the Gryffindor Common Room. She could hear loud music pounding through the room. The smell of alcohol and victory lit the room up. People clapped Lily on the back as she crossed the room.

She grinned as she caught Marlene and Fabian snogging across the room. Lily made her way to her dorm and showered. She dried her hair and slid into a pair of tight jeans and a sleeveless top. She made her way down the stairs thirty minutes later and saw that several Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs had infiltrated the party.

" Look there's our captain," Gideon shouted from the center of the room. Lily blushed as people began applauding her. She made her way to the team that was positioned around the couches in the center of the room. Michael sat with them and grinned at her. Lily rolled her eyes as Adam and Fabian slung an arm over her shoulder. Of course it would be Quidditch that mended her friendships.

" I'd like to propose a toast for Evans. If she didn't save me then I'd probably be smeared on the pitch in a bloody mess," Adam declared. Lily was handed a butterbeer and thanked him. Emmeline wrinkled her nose and smacked her boyfriend's arm.

" Don't be crude Adam," Emmeline reprehended. He leaned and whispered an apology to her. Lily looked away; they were having a moment. She met Alice's eyes and cleared her throat.

" I'm sorry for being such a bitch. I just lost it the minute we arrived at King's Cross. I'd blame it on my kidnapping and the battle but that seems cowardly. It's almost as cowardly as me being so cruel to you guys," Lily admitted. Her eyes flashed to Marlene's lightning blue ones.

" It's not cowardly to be afraid Lily. I think that I was more hurt that you weren't willing to confide in us," Alice explained. Lily nodded and leaned against the back of the sofa. Adam moved over and Michael sat next to Lily. She stood and pulled his arm up.

" We need to talk," Lily ordered. Michael nodded and said a quick goodbye to their friends, who were still mulling Lily's words over. She and Michael made their way through the common room. People sent Michael smug grins when they saw that he and Lily were holding hands. Lily tumbled out of the doorway and gasped for air as they exited the common room.

It was quiet and silence seemed to be so loud. Michael glanced at the stragglers around the portrait of the fat lady and led Lily across the hall. She faced him and took a deep breath.

" I'm sorry for not being honest with you," Lily started. She wrapped her arms around her chest and looked into Michael's eyes.

" You were right. I'm a coward. I can't get over what happened back in June. It's killing me to keep reliving those memories over and over again. But that's not why I've been avoiding you and picking fights," Lily explained. Michael crossed his arms and made a noise for her to go on. Lily cleared her throat and blinked her tears away.

" I've been avoiding you since I didn't know how you could handle this. When I still lived with my parents, they set up a pureblood betrothal between me and someone," Lily started. Michael's eyes reached her in realization and he moved to wrap his arms around her. There was a tinge of hopefulness in his eyes but Lily shoved him away.

" It's not you or even someone like Lupin or the Prewitts. What do you think of the name Lily Potter?" Lily said. She felt a pressure lift off her chest as Michael's eyes filled with torment. He looked at her with so much pain and horror.

" It's Potter. You're going to marry James fucking Potter!" Michael whispered in a defeated tone. Lily nodded and he punched the wall next to them. A low groan escaped his mouth and he turned to her.

" Michael I didn't want this to happen. I don't want this. I've started researching ways to get out of it," Lily explained. Michael snorted and looked down at his bleeding hand.

" Don't bother. The more you try to fight it, the stronger the compulsion charms get," Michael sneered. Lily's heart faltered; she thought that he could be more understanding. Lily raised her hand and touched his shoulder. He shoved it away and Lily's heart broke.

" I love you Lily. I thought that you couldn't accept the fact that you had feelings for me. But I guess I was wrong. Lily don't try to fight it, I don't want you to fight it and turn into one of Potter's whores," Michael spat.

Lily flinched at his tone. He clenched his bloody fist and red droplets fell to the ground. She stared at him in pain.

" Michael I can't fight with you anymore. You were right I need you. You understand what I went through you're the only person who can help me," Lily beseeched. Michael turned to her with a cruel expression.

" I needed you and you didn't help me. Now you've got all of my friends wrapped around you fingers again. You don't need me," Michael jeered. Lily blinked and watched as he began walking back to the common room. He stood ten feet in front of her and turned.

" Do you think that you could ever love me?" Michael asked. He didn't turn and Lily knew that he was too afraid to. She opened her mouth and wrapped her arms even tighter around her torso.

" Michael we're not meant for each other. I can't be with someone who will engulf me in flames; I need someone who can light me on fire. I could never fall in love with you but that doesn't mean that I don't love you," Lily answered.

She couldn't see Michael's expression but he didn't answer her. He continued down the hall and left Lily behind. She sucked in a breath and squeezed her chest. Lily tried to pull herself together but it didn't work. She was about to fall and collapse when footsteps echoed through the hall.

" Lily what are you doing?" Gideon asked. Lily looked up at him and he pulled her up. She blinked away the tears and he vanished the cigarette from his mouth. Lily felt Gideon lead her back into the Gryffindor Common Room. He pushed her down to a seat.

" Lily what happened?" Marlene asked. Lily repressed a sob and blinked. She couldn't see Michael anywhere; he was really gone.

" Michael knows," Lily mumbled. Marlene pulled her into a tight hug and led her up to their dorm. But a part of Lily's heart stayed down in the hallway where the possibility of having Michael Wood in her future faded away.

* * *

" Today we will start practicing the methods to resisting the imperius curse," Professor Gladstone announced. Lily's finger tightened around her quill. She looked up and met Professor Gladstone's smirk. She narrowed her eyes at the teacher's smug expression.

" Professor isn't the usage of the imperius curse illegal?" Marlene asked. Professor Gladstone snorted and began sending all the desks to different areas of the room.

" Five points from Gryffindor for speaking out of term. I was given permission so that all of you could know what it is like to be under the imperius curse," Professor Gladstone announced. Lily shoved her bag with everybody else's. The students stood in a large group in front of the teacher.

" Any volunteers?" Professor Gladstone called out. The room remained silent as students glanced at each other anxiously. Professor Gladstone's eyes traveled across the room with disdain.

" If no one volunteers then I will have to pick someone," she taunted. No student made a noise. Professor Gladstone's eyes landed on Lily with an evil grin.

" Miss Evans then," Professor Gladstone announced. Lily gulped and the crowd of students parted like the ocean. She rolled her eyes at her peers and walked through the crowd. Lily felt Potter's eyes watching her curiously. She stood in front of Professor Gladstone and held her wand out.

Her teacher watched her like a hawk. Lily sucked in a breath as she drew her wand up and aimed it at Lily.

" Imperio," Professor Gladstone called out. A mist snaked over to Lily and hit her in the chest. Lily felt so light and numb. She heard a voice in her head telling her to sit. She thought that was a good idea. Lily started to sit but why did she want to sit? She frowned and the voice became aggressive. It commanded her to sit and Lily protested. Her feet wobbled as two people ordered them to do different things. Lily felt as though her magic had control. She wouldn't let it; she couldn't. A groan escaped her mouth and Lily straightened her legs. She clenched her fists and fought against the voice.

" We're done," Professor Gladstone spat. Lily looked up and felt relieved; the voice was gone. Professor Gladstone narrowed her eyes at Lily.

" Miss Evans please meet me in my office," Professor Gladstone ordered. Lily ignored the whispers from her class and followed her teacher into the private room in the back. She closed the door behind her and Professor Gladstone whirled on her.

" Your eyes," she barked. Lily took a mirror off her desk and saw that her eyes were alit again. She blinked and her eyes returned to their normal color. Lily looked up and met Professor Gladstone's disdainful face.

" Please explained why you are unable to resist the imperius charm, something I taught you when you were ten," Professor Gladstone barked. Lily looked down.

" It's getting stronger but the weird thing is that my magic isn't trying to escape," Lily answered. Professor Gladstone nodded and turned to the door.

" As you get closer to your seventeenth birthday it will do that. Try to keep it under control until then. It'll get easier," Professor Gladstone assured. Lily looked at her teacher suspiciously and the woman laughed.

" I've invested too much time in you for you to accidently light yourself on fire," Professor Gladstone scoffed. She opened the door and Lily walked out. That was more like the Judea Gladstone she had known for her entire life. She went to the group of students and stood by Marlene. Professor Gladstone seemed to forget about her as she turned to her next victim.

" Why'd she want to talk to you," Marlene asked. Lily looked up and gulped. She met Michael's eyes and he looked away.

" She wanted to remind me that just because we won that game I should still attempt to work on the essays she assigns; I got an A," Lily muttered. Marlene snorted and Lily rubbed her arms. After the class ended, Lily and Marlene headed down to the Great Hall. They had Potions and Transfiguration in the afternoon.

Lily smiled at the Gryffindors as they made room for her and Marlene. After her apology, her friends accepted her presence again. It was a relief to be able to talk to Emmeline and Gideon again. Lily grabbed a container of grapes and started eating. She could see owls flying in through the ceiling.

She saw a flash of red and grinned; Hestia had finally arrived. Lily watched as a letter landed next to her plate. She grabbed it and turned to the other Gryffindors.

" Marlee I'll meet you in Potions I just have to check this letter," Lily said. Her friend nodded before turning back to Fabian for a snog. Lily grabbed her bag and left the table. She ran her fingers along the edges of the letter in anticipation. Lily exited the Great Hall without a glance back.

She went outside and felt the autumn air hit her. Summer was gone and the forests began to shed its leaves. Lily missed the lazy summer breezes and the clear blue sky but she enjoyed the crisp autumn air and feeling of change. She made her way over to the tree near the Black Lake and leaned against it. The Marauders had claimed the tree, but they weren't here.

Lily rolled her eyes at their pretentious attitudes. The four boys were so disgusting in her view. Girls would do anything for their attention and were so willing to spend a night in the Marauder's beds, only to be forgotten the next morning. Boys were envious of their charm and popularity. But Lily didn't feel this way. Her fellow Gryffindors tried to avoid the four boys due to their power but Lily didn't.

She honestly couldn't stand them. Lupin needed to make up his mind and decide who he wanted to be. Black was too chaotic and a womanizer. Jason was her family, but he made her feel guilty for loving him. And Potter the boy she was stuck with for the rest of her life. He was jealous, possessive, cocky, narcissistic and an arse.

Lily pushed the thoughts of those horrid boys away and grabbed the letter. She ripped the envelope open and lifted the letter to her eyes.

_Dear Lily,_

_I was honestly quite surprised when you asked about your mother. Most people try to forget about Pericles Lilius. He was your mother's twin brother born only seven minutes before her. I used to be quite close with him and your mother since we were neighbors. When we started attending the Athenian School for Sorcery, I met the Galen siblings. Their situation was similar to the one between you and your brother; I believe his name is Jason. Julius was born in September and my Apolline was born in June. Perry, Jules, and I became fast friends while your mother and Apolline Galen became friends. Your mother started dating Julius in her fourth year and they remained together well into her sixth. After graduation, we all had plans for our futures. Apolline was going to tours the world with an orchestra; I went with her to learn about international healing techniques. Jules and Perry planned to enter the auror department. Your mother, well Julius had plans to propose to her. Then everything went horribly. I don't know what happened as I was with Apolline, but within a month Perry and Julius were both dead and your mother was devastated. Your grandparents informed me that it was a werewolf attack that took the lives of both of my best friends._

_I came for their funerals, which your mother wasn't present for. Your grandmother informed me that she had left for England with a man by the name of William Gastor only a day ago. Soon after we received word that werewolves had killed my parents and Apolline's. Apolline was devastated; she lost her best friend and family within a day. A month later we were in New York where Apolline was performing at the Philharmonic when we got an invitation to the wedding of Delphina Lilius and William Gastor. We went to England and watched as your mother married a stranger. Soon after your eldest brother Julius was born. Apolline shoved our past away and we traveled for several years. When we returned to Greece I proposed to her and we married soon after. A few years later Galen was born. We named him for Apolline's dead family. Selena was born two years later; she was named after my mother. We were almost haunted by the ghosts that surrounded us. For once I could understand why your mother left Greece; she did it to escape the ghosts._

_It was over twenty years since we heard from Delphina. One day I went outside and saw a small girl standing outside of the Lilius manor with red hair. She turned and I was trapped in my memories once again. As you befriended my children and my wife I could see my old friend in you._

_It seems almost ironic that she named most of her children for the friends she left behind in Greece. Julius for the love she lost. Pericles for her brother and best friend. Lucian was name for your father's dad, but his middle name came from my father, her godfather, his name was Pollux. Cassius for the mother she lost, his middle name, David, came from a close friend of your mother's in England. Jason was for a close friend of your father's, Charlus Jason Potter. His middle name came from some uncle of your father's. And you for the family she left behind._

_I never spoke to her again. Three years after the death of your grandparents, we received word that Delphina was dead. Then Apolline died and only I remained._

_Lily my daughter and son will live on. Your brother, Pericles, who was name for my best friend, is quite smitten with Selena. He asked my permission to marry her. Galen, well he will be fine. He was harder to raise than Selena. Galen was quiet and brave. When he became an auror something seemed to turn off in him. He came home sullen and worried about the Dementors that were ravaging our country. Once you returned everything changed. He transformed into the brave boy I raised._

_When he followed you to England I couldn't help but be proud of him. He chose a path to defend people. Lily he doesn't need a love, he needs a friend. Make sure that he doesn't let the darkness in again._

_My time is ending so soon. Don't fret my flower; I will be with my sisters and brothers once again. My children will be happy and my life will be complete. Lily, you were named for a family with quite a bit of history. You remember the myth about how the Lilius family got their connection with flowers right? Be brave like your first ancestor, Lily. Be strong like your mother. But most importantly don't let your ghosts control you. Don't live a life haunted by death._

_Vale my Lily,_

_Leander Kingsmill_

A tear fell from Lily's eye. It smudged the ink and drew it into ripples of blackness. She stood and crumpled the paper in her hands. Lily grabbed her bag and made her way back into the castle. She knew that Mr. Kingsmill wouldn't die until Selena was safe. It perplexed her that Pericles would want to marry Selena. Pericles was so quiet and Selena was full of life. But if her friend found happiness with Pericles then Lily was happy for her.

She rubbed the tears falling from her eyes and stopped walking. She was late for Potions; but Lily didn't care. She shouldn't have dug up her mum's past. It was so agonizing to know how much Delphina Gastor had suffered. Lily blinked and made her way to the closet restroom. She washed her face and removed her hair from its ponytail. Tears tried to escape but Lily didn't let them out. She slowly made her way to the Potions classroom, engulfed by a past that wasn't even hers.

She opened the door to the Potions room and all of her classmates turned to stare at her. Slughorn cleared his throat from the front of the room where a series of notes were written.

" Miss Evans class began over twenty minutes ago," Slughorn announced. Lily looked up at him and her red eyes became clear to the class. Slughorn looked at her apprehensively.

" I'm sorry but I must take ten points from Gryffindor. Please take a seat Miss Evans," Slughorn said in a soft voice. Lily nodded and made her way to the empty seat next to Marlene. She ignored Marlene's stare and shoved the crumpled letter into her bag. Lily grabbed her notebook and a quill. She placed them on her desk but didn't make a move to use them.

She faced the front of the room and mulled Mr. Kingsmill's words over. Professor Gladstone and her mum both hinted that her mum was in a relationship before she met Lily's father. But Lily didn't expect something so tragic. She didn't know about an uncle that she never met. She didn't know that her mum lost her first love. Lily thought about Perry. Her family had a bad history with werewolves so the idea that a Lilius being killed by werewolves wasn't too surprising.

Lily remembered her grandparents' fate. She closed her eyes and felt the sting of her tears. The thought of what happened to her grandparents nauseated Lily. She knew that if it weren't for Professor Gladstone then she would have faced the same fate.

" Lily are you alright? Your skin is green," Marlene asked in a dubious voice. Lily opened her eyes and felt waves of nausea crash on her. She noticed that Professor Slughorn stopped speaking to the class and was staring at her.

" Miss Evans do you need to go to the hospital wing?" Professor Slughorn asked. Lily stared at him in horror; she couldn't go to the hospital wing it would bring more memories. Yet she couldn't answer Slughorn. Lily struggled to even look at him. She felt so strange; as though something was pulling at her from the inside.

Slughorn took one long glance at her and his eyes landed on someone across the room. Lily closed her eyes and tried to shove her dizziness away.

" Mr. Potter please escort Miss Evans to the hospital wing," Slughorn ordered. Lily ripped her eyes open and shot Marlene a pleading look. She couldn't go near Potter or the hospital wing.

Suddenly someone propped her up and Lily swayed. She felt someone pick her up. She heard that person grab her stuff and begin to leave the room. Lily clutched the person carrying her bridal style and closed her eyes. What was happening to her?

She heard a door open and felt the person begin walking. Lily started to protest in his arms and he stopped moving. She opened her eyes and met Potter's eyes weakly. Lily tugged at his shoulder feebly.

" Please don't take me to the hospital wing. Anywhere but there," Lily croaked. Potter stared at her for a moment and sighed. She saw him turn and walked down the opposite end of the hallway. Lily relaxed when she realized that he wasn't taking her to the hospital wing. She heard him say something and a loud thud. A draft hit her and she shivered. Potter wrapped her closer to him and Lily let him. Something was wrong with her.

Potter started to walk up a staircase and Lily's body bobbled against his chest. She heard him open a door and close it behind her. He placed her on a bed that smelled awful. Lily groaned against his shoulder and protested. He picked her up and gently pushed her on a bed that smell amazing. It smelled like green apples and something oddly comforting.

She felt Potter wrap a thick blanket over her and sit on the soft surface. Something brushed her hair soothingly and Lily leaned into the warmth. She felt so cold and light-headed. Lily fell asleep to the feeling of consolation. She didn't dream but her mind was in a state of being half asleep and awake. A while later Lily heard voices and loud footsteps. She groaned and pushed herself against the warmth.

" Oi Prongs are you in here? You took the map so Padfoot and Moony are looking for you. Hey there you are! Why weren't you in Transfiguration?" a voice shouted. Lily felt the warmth leave her for a moment and moaned. She was so cold. It quickly returned and Lily relaxed.

" James you have exactly thirty seconds to explain why my sister is in your bed and practically asleep on you," the voice roared. Lily tucked her head into the warm surface and tried to block the noise out.

" Jason she refused to let me take her to the hospital wing and I can't exactly take her to her dorm, so I brought her here. I tried to put her on your bed but she started protesting and complaining about the scent. I wouldn't dare to put her on Moony's or Padfoot bed; too much shedding so I put her on mine. I was going to go to class but then she latched on me," a deep voice explained. Lily felt another pressure on the soft surface and something ran against her hand.

" Fine but don't try anything. You're not married to her yet. I'm going to the Great Hall do you want anything?" the voices asked. Lily burrowed under the covers and steadied her breathing. She felt someone brush her hair off her forehead.

" I'm not hungry. Just make sure that Padfoot doesn't bring anyone up here. I don't know how Lily would feel about it," the deep voice requested. Lily felt someone drop her hand against her side and heard him stand.

" I'll tell Padfoot to use a broom closet then," the voice answered. Lily could hear footsteps and the sound of a door closing. Silence fell over and she slowly feel back to her sleep. The warmth never left her. She didn't dream, instead Lily slept. In the last week, she had gotten more sleep then she had for the entire month of September.

When she woke, Lily could see light slipping in through the bed curtains. She groaned and tried to move but found that her body was retrained. Lily looked at her waist and saw that a large arm was wrapped around it. She twisted her head back and met Potter's sleeping form. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep. There wasn't a smug grin or a scowl on his face. He looked almost innocent.

She moved to pull his arm off her, but Potter wouldn't let her. He shifted in his sleep and Lily found her face planting against his chest. She squirmed in his tight hold and his mouth brushed the top of her head.

" Lily," Potter mumbled. She froze and looked up at him; he was still asleep. Lily could feel his heart beating languidly. The covers were thrown over her and him. Her uniform seemed to cut into her back. Lily grimaced when she felt her tie cutting into her neck. She glanced at Potter's face and flicked her finger against his forehead.

His eyes bolted open and Lily found herself directly under Potter's body. He grabbed her hands and pulled them over her head and separating Lily's legs with his own. Lily was aware of his body pressed into hers. Potter's hands reached for his table and grabbed his glasses. His grip grew tight and Lily squirmed beneath him. Once his glasses were on, Potter saw her under him and smirked.

" Evans if you haven't noticed I'm a death eater; flicking me comes with consequences," Potter said in a low voice. Lily scowled at him and felt his hips grind against hers. She blushed and became aware that Potter was a boy. Her eyes darted down there and Potter smirked.

"Lily awfully dirty thoughts you have," Potter teased. Lily looked up and tried to free her hands. She needed to slap him so hard that he would get a new ego. But Potter was a lot stronger than her. Potter's eyes glittered with a mocking tone.

" Potter could you let go of me?" Lily asked through gritted teeth. Potter pretended to mull this over before tapping Lily's nose with a grin on his face.

" I dunno Evans you don't look so good. Maybe you should spend the day in my bed," Potter teased. Lily glowered at him and shoved her shoulder at him.

" Potter I have Divination in the morning," Lily hissed. Potter lifted his free hand and ran it through his hair. Lily ducked to avoid his smirk; that was when she noticed that all Potter wore was a pair of flannel pajama pants. Her eyes darted away from his chiseled torso and he grinned at her.

" Evans see I don't have class until after lunch. I could always get Sirius and Remus to cover for you," Potter explained. Lily glared at him; why would she choose him over going to class?

" Potter I've missed three days of class. I doubt that my teachers would be okay with me missing another," Lily seethed. She needed to get out of the Slytherin dorm now. Lily glanced at the window and guessed that it was early in the morning. The sun was only starting to rise.

" But Lily this is practice for when we're married," Potter purred. Lily felt him pushed his hips against hers dangerously. She leaned up and did the one thing that she could; Lily bit Potter's lip. He let go or her arms from shock and Lily quickly shoved him off her.

" Evans why do you always feel the need to bite me?" Potter groaned. Lily shot him a dirty look and sat up. She moved to pull the curtains of the bed shut, but Potter grabbed her. He shoved her back against the pillows and his body covered hers again. Lily let out a growl as she glared at his smug expression. Potter's bottom lip was flushed from Lily's bite.

" Lily how do you plan on getting out of this bed? If Sirius sees you then the rumor mill will ensure your demise from being a virginal ice queen to Potter's slut. Even if you get of the dorm, the common room is another issue. I'm sure that my housemates will be interested as to how a mudblood got into their common room," Potter ordered.

Lily stopped fighting him and slumped against the bed. He was right; Lily was too prideful to take a walk of shame in front of the entire Slytherin house. Her wand was inside of her bag and she didn't know where Potter had kept it. She averted her eyes from Potter's chest and he pulled her chin up. Lily met his eyes and he examined her face.

" Shit you've got some serious bags under your eyes," Potter murmured. Lily blushed; her concealment charms must have worn off. Potter's eyes traveled down her face and towards her neck. They landed on her exposed collarbone and landed on the birthmark resting in the hollow of it. His long fingers moved towards it and traced the star.

" The Gastor birthmark, I've never seen it on you. So do you use a concealment charm on it?" Potter asked. Lily ignored the shiver rising up her back as Potter's fingers danced across the surface of her collarbone. She nodded and he smirked at her. His eyes analyzed her face and Lily stared at him uncomfortably. He noticed her nervousness with a simper.

" If you kiss me, on the lips, I'll consider getting you out of the Slytherin Common Room and to your own without anyone seeing you," Potter negotiated. Lily bit her lip and met his eyes. She couldn't stand the idea of spending the rest of the morning trapped in the 6th year Slytherin boy's dorm.

Lily pushed her head up and Potter smirked at her. She waited for him to lower his head, but he didn't move. Potter waited for her to kiss him; he wasn't going to do anything until her lips reached his. Lily suppressed the urge to slap him and pushed her head up. She was about a centimeter from Potter's lips and felt his breath hit her. Lily quickly leaned in and met his lips in an eruption of sparks. Potter quickly acted. He shoved her head back into the pillow and wrapped his hand around her jaw. Lily tried to pull out of the kiss, but Potter didn't let her. She felt his tongue try and slip into her mouth. She ignored the contentment the kiss gave her and took opportunity of her free hands. Lily pushed her body up and her lips were thrown from Potter's. He blinked for a moment before realizing what Lily had done.

Lily's face was blank as Potter leaned up and moved off her. She crossed her arms and scowled at the sight of his swollen lips. Lily knew that her lips were probably worse. Potter stood and left his bed. Lily pushed his covers off and waited for him to return. He ripped open the bed curtains and smirked at Lily's disheveled appearance.

Potter wore a white t-shirt over his shirt and held a silvery substance in his hands. Lily stood and saw that her bag was sitting next to Potter's bed. She slid into her shoes and grabbed her bag. Lily didn't even bother to try and straighten her clothing out. Potter glanced around the room and leaned in.

" They're still asleep. Lazy arses," Potter whispered affectionately. Lily noted the way he talked about his friends. She didn't notice the way all of the Marauders, even Jason, regarding each other as family until a few weeks ago when Black showed her his tattoo. Lily remembered seeing a flash of the tattoo on Potter's right shoulder.

Suddenly Potter pulled her into his chest and draped the silvery cloth over them. It fell over them like a waterfall. Lily poked it and gaped at the fabric. Potter noticed her expression with an amused grin.

" It's an invisibility cloak. Handed down from dad to son in the Potter family," Potter explained. Lily turned and faced him. She could see a flicker in his eyes. He seemed to be hiding something. She nodded and Potter cleared his throat.

" Let's go," he announced. Lily followed him out of the dorm and down the steps. She could see students sitting in the cold common room. The couches and sofas were stiff and unwelcoming, unlike the cozy ones in the Gryffindor Common Room. Potter followed a group of first years out of the common room and led Lily up to the stairs. They walked in silence. Once they reached the first floor, Potter pulled the cloak off of him and Lily.

" You can manage getting to your dorm from here," Potter announced. Lily nodded and started to move towards the staircase. She turned and used most of her willpower to do her next action.

" Potter thanks for not taking me to the hospital wing yesterday," Lily called out. Potter turned and met her eyes in a curious stare. His eyes gleamed with an unreadable emotion and he smirked at her.

" Evans you're welcome, but know that you'll probably spend most of your morning during the Holidays like that," Potter taunted. Lily scoffed at this and crossed her arms.

" Potter I'll be spending my holiday away from you. My team is going to win that game," Lily vowed. Potter saluted her and she rolled her eyes. Lily walked up to the Gryffindor Tower with James Potter on her mind.

* * *

" I hate Wednesdays," Alice groaned. Lily looked up from her Charms assignment and saw that the headgirl was scowling at a piece of parchment. Lily leaned over Marlene's homework and looked at the parchment. It was the new perfect patrol route for October. Lily bit her lip when she saw who was her partner.

" Alice mind switching me with Diggory?" Lily asked. The headgirl looked up and glanced at where Lily was pointing. Her hair surrounded her head in a concise bob.

" You want to patrol with Lupin again?" Alice muttered. Lily bit her lip when the other Gryffindors looked at her in shock. Her new partner was Michael, and Lily couldn't stand the idea of spending two hours alone with him. She also didn't want more people to learn Lupin's secret. Lily had noticed that he missed patrol when the full moon was around. She may have hated what he was doing, but Lily knew more than anyone else what it was like to be controlled by something.

" Err Yeah. We're still working on our Care of Magical Creatures assignment and we usually talk about it during patrols," Lily explained. She could see Michael tensing when he saw the patrol route. He snorted and glanced at Lily.

" More like Evans doesn't want to patrol with me. Just switch her with Diggory," Michael sneered. Lily gulped and watched as he grabbed his homework and bag. He promptly stood and left the library without a glance back at the eight Gryffindors sitting at the table.

" What's going on between you guys?" Adam asked. Lily could see him and Gideon pouring over a DADA assignment. The Gryffindors had decided to use this time for a much needed study group. Emmeline was working on her Charms project with Fabian. Alice and Frank were doing some Heads work. Marlene and Lily were studying for a Herbalogy test they had the next day. Before Michael left, he was studying with them.

" Michael can't handle rejection," Marlene announced before Lily could speak. Lily blushed as her friends looked up at her. She bit her lip and met Adam's eyes reluctantly.

" It's not that. I was mates with the death eater that kidnapped us back in France. Michael didn't understand why his death affected me so much," Lily muttered. It was true though. She couldn't get past how everything in her life had gone downhill ever since she returned to England. Her life in France had been all but shattered. Her life in Greece was too deep in the past.

" Michael used to fancy you a lot," Gideon commented. Lily blushed and ducked her head.

" I know I had to let him down during the party on Saturday," Lily answered. She wrapped her arms around her midsection and straightened her back. She met Gideon's dubious eyes.

" If it's not too personal, why did you reject him?" Gideon asked. Lily saw Emmeline shove him but she had to answer him.

" It's okay, no secrets right? Michael doesn't really like me, I trusted him before I trusted any of you. He took it a little personally," Lily declared. She heard Marlene clear her throat from next to her.

" Well if we're done with the gossip, Longbottom get your arse over here I still don't know how to differentiate gillyweed from seaweed," Marlene stated.

Lily shot Marlene a grateful smile, which her friend grinned at. It was nice to have a friend like Marlene. After the Gryffindors finished studying, they headed down to the Great Hall for dinner. Lily slid in between Adam and Frank. Ever since the Quidditch match, she had become a lot closer with Frank and Adam. She bonded with Adam over his passion to travel. And Frank, well Lily felt stupid for not realizing how similar they were. Both of them stood out from the other Gryffindors since they were shoved into adulthood early. The death of Frank's dad and Lily's banishment forced them to grow up too early. But it was nice to have a person who understood.

" I wrote to Fenwick's parents. His mum is pregnant," Marlene said in between bites. An uncomfortable air fell over the group; Fabian was the first to speak.

" Hopefully that child won't inherit Benjy's early bird genes," Fabian teased. The boys agreed and Lily glanced at them curiously.

" What do you mean?" Lily asked. Gideon snorted and grabbed a piece of bread from the table.

" Benjy had this tendency to wake up at five in the morning every bloody day. He also enjoyed waking us up by pulling our covers off," Gideon explained. Lily bit her lip to keep the laughter from coming; that really did seem like a thing that Benjy would do.

" You know Benjy was also quite a bit of a nerd; he was a Frank in the making," Marlene teased. Frank shot her an indignant expression and Adam chuckled.

" That boy wouldn't let anyone get away with going to a party unless they'd studied for at least an hour," Emmeline reminisced fondly. The conversation turned to a remembering Benjamin Fenwick theme. Laughter filled the center of the Gryffindor table as the eight students remembered their old classmate, and friend.

" I remember that Benjy tried to recruit me to join the Gobstone club on my first day here. I didn't even know what a Gobstone was and I think he thought I was illiterate for a week," Lily gasped. Alice stifled her laughter with shoving her hand in front of her mouth.

" If I die you guys need to do this. Don't remember me for some sweet little girl, remember me for the bitch I could be," Marlene announced. Adam leaned over and ruffled her hair fondly.

" I'll be able to do that. I've got sixteen years of Marlene's evil siren activities stored up," Adam teased. Marlene shoved him off her hair and tried to comb it down. Lily smiled at Marlene's displeased expression. Marlene caught her eye and scoffed.

" I'll remember Lily for how she forced those bloody conditioning activities on us," Marlene declared. Lily shoved her and tusked.

" Those conditioning activities will help you in the long run," Lily answered. The members of the Quidditch team groaned at Lily tone. She held her hands up in surrender and grinned at Gideon's disgruntled expression. But then she remembered something and grinned.

" Speaking of Quidditch, I've got some news. Professor McGonagall has informed me that there will be scouts from Puddlemere United and the Cannons at our next game," Lily announced. Gideon and Fabian smiled at this announcement.

" We're playing Hufflepuff, the only good player they've got is Diggory," Fabian acknowledged. Everything seemed to return the way it was last year. Back when Lily didn't ditch her friends for the solitude of her secrets and Michael didn't tell Lily about his feelings. But there's always a calm before a storm. The horrors were only just started. Only three minutes later, Professor Dumbledore stormed into the hall with Professor McGonagall and Professor Gladstone on either of his sides.

" Prefects please escort students back to their common rooms. Heads should stay behind. Leave now," Dumbledore broadcasted. Lily watched as the food from the dinner vanished. Students stared at him in confusion. Lily looked for Michael and found him near the other Gryffindor prefects. The 5th years took their year and the seventh years. Emmeline and Adam took the first and second years. Lily and Michael took the third years and fourth years. Marlene joined the two other 6th years.

" Lily what's going on?" Trevor asked from in front of her. Lily ignored him and continued to send students from the table. Michael led them up to the common room and Marlene stayed in the middle to make sure that no one took any detours.

" Stebbins and Young let's go," Lily barked. Two scrawny third years blushed and sheepishly left the Great Hall. Lily could see that the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were straggling. She saw that Emmeline was the only Gryffindor prefect left in the hall.

" Emmeline I'm going to help the other houses. I'll meet you guys up in the common room," Lily shouted over the pandemonium. Her friend nodded reluctantly and dragged two first years from the hall. Lily made her way over to the Hufflepuff table. She saw Diggory trying to comfort two wailing first years.

" Oi Diggory the hall should've been cleared by now," Lily shouted. She walked over to him and kneeled in front of the two small first years.

" This isn't a time to cry. It's time to take your wands out and follow the other students back to your common rooms," Lily murmured to them. One looked up and sniffled.

" But Bella never came to dinner. I don't know where she is," one moaned. Lily stared at the young girl in shock. She glanced at Diggory and shot him a look. He retreated and helped move more students from the hall. She grabbed the two first years and helped them up. Lily slowly led them over to the other Hufflepuffs. Two fifth years took the girls and shot Lily grateful looks. She glanced at the Slytherin table and saw that there were some stragglers. Lily glared at them and marched over to them.

" Oi Mulciber you were supposed to leave the hall," Lily ordered. The burly student looked up at Lily with a sneer. He elbowed his friends who still hadn't moved from their table. They looked up at Lily with identical sadistic grins.

" Look it's another mudblood. Evans you shouldn't try and tempt us mudbloods are in danger right now," Yaxley jeered. Lily narrowed her eyes at the seventh year.

" What shit are you talking about?" Lily demanded. The Slytherins seemed to find this amusing. They laughed and Mulciber grinned at Lily.

" You didn't hear about the mudblood who was found dead in front of the Hufflepuff common room?" Mulciber asked in a stickily innocent voice. Lily reached for her wand. Before the argument could escalade, someone stepped in front of Lily.

" Oi you lot let's go. Wouldn't want to draw more suspicion to what's happened," Lupin barked. Lily watched the seventh year Slytherins shuffle away. A few leered at her and she sent them scathing glares. Lupin turned to her when they were a few feet from them.

" Evans why are you here? Your house left over ten minutes ago," Lupin demanded. Lily shot him a vexed expression and put her wand down. She could see that the hall was nearly empty. Lupin led her over to the doors.

" I wanted to help get people out. What did Mulciber mean?" Lily asked. Lupin pursed his lips as they reached the door to the Great Hall.

" A muggleborn first year Hufflepuff was murdered near the Hufflepuff Common Room entrance," Lupin said darkly. Lily sucked in a breath and blinked. She balled her fists and narrowed her eyes at Lupin.

" Do they know who did it?" Lily questioned. Lupin shot her a glance of annoyance; they both knew what she was really asking about. He stopped in front of the door to the Great Hall.

" My mates weren't involved, in fact they were in detention for most of the afternoon," Lupin said almost smugly. Lily pursed her lips and turned.

" Good alibis," Lily commented. Lupin moved in front of her and towered over her. Lily didn't know how menacing Lupin could look. Half of his body was in the shadows and the other half was covered in illuminated scars. He frowned at her and Lily met his eyes in a fierce stare.

" Try not to go anywhere alone Evans. These aren't the safest times for muggleborns," Lupin said. Before Lily could respond, he had shoved past her and moved to the staircase to the lower floor of the castle. Lily shivered at his dark warning and made her way up to the Gryffindor Common Room. She entered the room and found herself engulfed in pandemonium. The prefects and older students were standing in the middle of the room. Students from 5th year and below were surrounded them and demanded an explanation. Lily narrowed her eyes at the scene. She took her wand out and sent a spell at the ceiling. Everybody in the room was silenced when a series of sparks erupted over their heads. They turned to Lily and she met their stares with a set expression.

" You lot should be extremely disappointed in yourselves. We aren't living in some bloody fairytale; we're living in a war so it's time that you grew up. Professor Dumbledore has set a curfew; no one is to leave his or her common rooms. The Headgirl and Headboy will be making rounds through each house. Now I want every person in this room who isn't above 6th year to go to their dorms and remain there until word is given that something has changed. For any rebellious people I will personally drag them to Dumbledore's office," Lily roared.

Students gaped at her but scurried from the room. Lily crossed her arms as they shot her anxious stares. She met them with cold glances. Once the common room was empty, save for the seven older students, Lily made her way over to them. Most of them gaped at her; no one expected for ice queen Lily Evans to take charge.

" What happened?" Adam asked. Lily sighed and tugged her hair from its tight ponytail. She met Michael's eyes in a grim expression.

" A first year Hufflepuff was found murdered near her common room. The 7th year Slytherin boys seem to know a lot about it, too much," Lily answered.

" There was a murder in Hogwarts?" Marlene demanded. Lily nodded grimly and fell on the couch behind her. She was thoroughly exhausted. Her fellow Gryffindors sat around her and she leaned forward.

" I stayed behind to help the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws get their students out. Some Slytherins decided to stay in the hall, so I confronted them. They almost threatened me. Said that muggleborns were in danger," Lily started. She saw Gideon tense and Fabian frown.

" Lupin came and dragged them off to their common rooms. I was walking back to the Gryffindor Common Room when I ran into Professor Flitwick. He gave me some ordered but not enough information," Lily finished.

" How could there be a murder at Hogwarts? Dumbledore is here, he's the best wizard in the past century," Emmeline declared. The other students agreed and Lily frowned; didn't they notice that Dumbledore was absent from most meals.

" Well Dumbledore is letting death eaters into the school," Michael growled. Lily shot him a dirty look and spoke up.

" It's not his fault. Most of the purebloods attending Hogwarts have got connections with the School Governors. There's only so much that Dumbledore can do," Lily argued. Michael shot her a disgruntled expression.

" I talked to Lupin, he told me that this was only the start," Lily announced before Michael could pick a fight with her.

" Look's like the war came to Hogwarts," Adam mumbled. Lily couldn't help but agree with him; times were getting dangerous. Before anyone could speak the portrait of the fat lady slammed open. All of them turned and looked towards it. Professor McGonagall stood in the doorway with a grim expression.

" Miss Evans, as most experienced prefect I must request for you to retrieve Lydia Sheffield from her dorm and escort her to the headmaster's office," Professor McGonagall stated. Lily frowned at the stern lady's request, but Professor McGonagall left before Lily could do anything. Lily nodded and made her way to the second year girls' dorms. She opened the door and saw that five girls were huddled together on one bed.

" Is Lydia Sheffield in here?" Lily asked. A small girl with mousey hair looked up and nodded. Lily explained that the girl was needed in the Headmaster's office. The other girls shot Lydia curious stares as she moved to the doorway. Lily closed the door behind the young girl and led her down the stairs. She turned to her friends who wore grim expressions.

" I'll be back," Lily called out. They nodded and Lily exited the common room. She took her wand out and glanced at Lydia from behind her. Suddenly Lily hit something and she tripped. She quickly got her balance and scowled at the empty hallway. Lily saw almost a flash of movement and narrowed her eyes. She grabbed Lydia and pushed the young girl behind her.

" Potter if you're snooping around the castle in that bloody cloak of yours, I will personally hex your hair off," Lily muttered. She heard a rustling and leaped towards it. Someone was under her and she knocked him or her to the ground. Lily felt for a fabric and pulled it off the person. She met Jason's gold eyes.

" Jason what are you doing here?" Lily demanded. She leaped off him and he stood up gingerly. His fingers plucked the cloak from Lily's hands and he frowned.

" I was checking to see if you made it to the Gryffindor Common Room. Moony told me that you were still in the Great Hall when he was down there," Jason explained. He brushed some dirt from his robes and noticed the girl behind her.

" What are you doing out of your common room?" Jason asked. His eyes traced Lydia's figure and Lily shot him a glare. She moved in front of the girl, trying to protect her from Jason's cruel grin.

" I'm escorting Lydia to the Headmaster's office," Lily answered. She shoved past Jason and tugged Lydia after her.

" Be careful Lily, things aren't safe for muggleborns around here," Jason warned. Lily turned and he disappeared from view. She glared at the spot where he last was. Why were people warning her about muggleborns? This didn't make any sense. Lily frowned as they reached the statue hiding the entrance to Professor Dumbledore's office; she didn't know the password. But it wasn't necessary. A figure was walking down the hallway and coming at her.

" Ice Mice. Miss Evans and Miss Sheffield please follow me," Professor Dumbledore ordered. Lily followed him up the staircase and saw that Professor McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey were already in the room. They wore grim expressions. Professor McGonagall indicated for Lily to stand with her and for Lydia to sit down. They did so.

" Miss Sheffield today evening at eight, two Hufflepuff students discovered the body of your half-sister Isabel Sheffield in front of the Hufflepuff Common Room. Madame Pomfrey has confirmed that she is dead. Your parents have been informed and are requesting for you to return home. Professor McGonagall will be escorting you to Hogsmeade where your father is waiting," Professor Dumbledore said in a grim voice. Lydia stared at him before collapsing into tears. Lily wanted nothing more than to wrap the small girl in a hug.

Professor McGonagall moved from beside her to help the girl up. Lily watched as her stern teacher led the student from the office. She bit her lip and faced Dumbledore. Dumbledore's face was torn in anguish.

" Madame Pomfrey you may leave. I believe that a certain student is in need of your assistance tonight," Professor Dumbledore declared. The matron left the room and only Lily and Dumbledore remained. He stood and leaned over his desk for a moment.

" Tonight one of my students died Miss Evans, I've failed as a teacher. The School Board has enough material to officially force me to take a leave from Hogwarts. I want you to take something and keep it. I do not know when I shall return or if I will ever return," Professor Dumbledore announced.

" They can't do that! The murder wasn't your fault it was the death eaters fault, the ones that they are letting stay here," Lily protested. She told Dumbledore about how Potter and Black went to Hogsmeade and she followed them there. She explained the list of muggleborn students and that this was their plan from the start. Professor Dumbledore frowned and faced his window.

" Miss Evans if they truly are killing muggleborns to get me fired, I would resign before another student dies," Dumbledore answered. Lily bit her lip; Dumbledore couldn't leave. Without him Hogwarts would fall apart. Dumbledore moved to the other side of his office and pulled the Pensieve from his cabinet. He pulled out a series of vials filled with memories and left them on his desk.

" Take these and the Pensieve," Professor Dumbledore ordered. Lily looked at him with sadness; he was really leaving. He moved to the other side of his desk and motioned for Lily to hand him her arm. Lily held her arm out and Professor Dumbledore used her bracelet to store the Pensieve and memories.

" Professor how will I know when and what order to use the memories?" Lily asked. Professor Dumbledore dropped her hand and looked over to the stand where his phoenix usually was. But the brilliant red bird wasn't present.

" Miss Evans I assure you that you'll know when to use those memories. We are living in dark times but that doesn't mean that we will be pulled into the darkness. I will be leaving the country for some research that could impact the future of the war. I will be leaving Bishop Shacklebolt in charge of the Order; it is up to you to join the Order. I don't know who will be my replacement, but I know it will be a purist. Hogwarts needs a leader and you can do it," Professor Dumbledore announced.

" I can't Professor. I'm too weak to lead my peers. I couldn't even fight for the Order like the other Gryffindors," Lily pleaded. Dumbledore smiled with sadness and walked behind his desk.

" I will be leaving the castle before tomorrow morning. By then people will notice my absence. You're not weak Miss Evans, you are so brave. Your mother would be proud of you," Dumbledore declared. Lily rubbed her eyes and met his.

" My mum was more than I could ever be," Lily said. Dumbledore made a noise of disagreement.

" Your mother was one of the founding members of the Order. She was the bravest woman I've ever met. But I think that you could compete with her. Lily I need you to protect the students when my colleagues are unable to. You must fight; I know you can fight this war. Lily you may not think this so, but you are a leader and your peers need a leader," Dumbledore finished.

When he completed his speech, Lily couldn't speak. She didn't understand why this man had so much faith in her. She couldn't imagine how he even got it. Lily was a coward. She couldn't even fight her own fears, let alone her fellow students' fears. But Dumbledore's words gave her strength. She wouldn't let her fears and mistakes control her anymore. It was time to fight; it was time for Lily to become Lily Evans.

" Professor I'll try to be a leader, I'll do it for my mum she would want me to do this," Lily vowed. Dumbledore nodded and Lily turned to leave the office. She was on the last step when Dumbledore said the last words he would say to her for several months.

" Don't confuse destiny and fate Miss Evans" Dumbledore whispered. Lily barely heard his words, but she knew what he was talking about. She couldn't let people control her; she had to choose her own battles.

When she reached the Gryffindor Common Room later that night, her friends were still up. She met their faces with a grim expression.

" Dumbledore is leaving. The School Governors will fire him since that girl died, so he has decided to resign," Lily explained. Marlene's face dropped in shock. Lily didn't see the other's expression. She turned and made her way up to her dorm. Her body fell on her bed and Lily knew that this would probably be the last night of proper sleep she would get for months.

* * *

" Professor McGonagall is announcing the new Headmaster today," Alice said. Lily pushed her empty plate away and met her friend's tired eyes. Most of the older Gryffindors were exhausted. Ever since Dumbledore left on Wednesday, Professor McGonagall had taken over as Headmistress until the School Board chose a new Headmaster. This left the older students to assist their younger housemates until McGonagall was free to take her role as Head of Gryffindor.

" Good I'm tired of dealing with second years," Gideon groaned. Lily agreed with him; but she hadn't told the other Gryffindors about Dumbledore's cryptic message. She didn't understand why he wanted her to be a leader. But she made a promise, and Lily didn't break promises.

She could feel someone watching her and turned. Lily gulped when she met Potter's eyes. He had taken to watching her at meals while he was practically groping other girls. Lily shot him a tired glare and turned. She wrapped her arms around her chest and pulled her body up. For the past four days Lily had lost innumerable amounts of sleep. The teachers were trying to distract students with wagons of homework. Lily almost regretted taking so many classes.

Her nightmares were worse than ever though. She kept reliving the feeling of being engulfed in flames every single night. Lily shuddered and tightened her grip around her waist. Her shirt seemed to hang off her body; Lily wondered if she had lost weight. When she was stressed, Lily didn't feel particularly hungry. She knew that she had to eat though.

She glanced at the Gryffindors near her. Alice and Frank had brought some of their work to the table and looked so tired. Lily pitied them; this was a horrible year to be a head. Gideon and Adam were stuffing food in their mouths as a distraction from the horrors around them. Adam began to nod off on Emmeline's shoulder and Emmeline looked abnormally pale. Marlene and Fabian seemed to be avoiding each other. Lily made a note to ask Marlene about that. Michael was similar to Lily. He was quiet and hardly ate anything. Lily noticed that his bandages looked almost thicker from under his shirt. She wondered why.

" Students may I have your attention," Professor McGonagall announced. Lily looked up to the front table. She could see Professor McGonagall looking extremely displeased; most of the professors did. Professor Gladstone wore a practically disgusted expression.

" Due to the leave of Professor Dumbledore, a new Headmaster has been found. Please welcome your new headmaster, Abraxas Malfoy," Professor McGonagall said in a grim tone. Lily sucked in a breath when she saw a tall, blonde man step out from behind her. He wore a set of royal blue robes and a sickening smile. How could they make him headmaster? He was a death eater. Lily glared at the man and he met her eyes. His gray eyes bore into hers and Lily glared at him. A flicker of remembrance appeared in his eyes. Lily blinked and saw Harland Evans writhing in pain. She opened her eyes and saw the eyes of his tormentor. Abraxas turned and faced the crowd of students.

" It is my pleasure to take this position. I've always thought that the best way to assure the future of wizards is to start with the young. I plan on ensuring the safety of students who will surely go on to do great things," Malfoy announced. Lily glared at him; he slipped prejudiced comments into his speech. She looked around the hall. The Hufflepuffs looked slightly uneasy and kept glancing towards Professor Sprout. The Ravenclaws were skeptical, but they didn't show any emotion. They seemed to be considering this new headmaster. The Gryffindors were outwardly glaring at the man. The Slytherins looked ready to throw a party.

Lily felt Jason's eyes flicker to her and shot him a scathing glare. He responded with a shrug and faced the front of the room. Lily narrowed her eyes at him; he probably knew about Malfoy since the start of the year. After Malfoy's arrival, the students began to leave the Great Hall in groups. Lily stayed behind; she had to talk to someone even though he couldn't stand her.

" Michael," Lily hissed once Emmeline and Gideon left the table. He looked up from his plate and narrowed his eyes at her. Lily gulped and leaned over. Marlene couldn't be trusted with this; she wouldn't be free in a few months. Lily knew that Michael, the boy who hated and loved her, would be the only person she could confine this secret to.

" Michael please talk to me. I need you to know something," Lily pleaded. She tried to put her hand on his but he pulled back. Lily ignored the sense of hurt that gave her and leaned back. She shot Michael an annoyed glare and crossed her arms.

" Wood, Dumbledore is out of the country. Hogwarts is going to turn into a death eater paradise if we don't do something about Malfoy," Lily hissed. Michael looked at her curiously. Lily took this as a move for her to continue.

" Last Winter, Malfoy was almost sent to Azkaban do you know why?" Lily asked. Michael looked confused and finally spoke.

" I heard his status as a death eater became public knowledge," Michael answered. Lily nodded and glanced around the room; not one was watching them.

" He actually killed over forty muggles and destroyed a train. His appointment as Headmaster was a threat. It's as though Voldemort is telling the world that he has enough power to make a death eater the headmaster of the school that their children go to," Lily whispered. Michael looked at her with fear in his eyes.

" So he's got control of the School Governors and practically half of the Ministry then," Michael whispered. His face was pulled back in shock. Lily nodded and glanced at the front table. Michael was right; at least most than half of the Wizarding World was under Voldemort's control.

" He has purists practically monopolizing the ministry. He got Dumbledore out of the country. All he has left is to get Bagnold sacked," Lily declared. Michael sucked in a breath and moved over a seat. He leaned in and Lily moved closer to him.

" Moody wrote to me. The auror department has stopped being sent to death eater attacks immediately. They're supposed to first go to the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Barty Crouch. It's almost common knowledge that Crouch's son is a death eater," Michael muttered.

" That means that the Wizengamot must have chosen him for the job," Lily asked. Michael shook his head and glanced around the Great Hall.

" Crouch is a notorious anti-Voldemort supporter," Michael explained. Lily frowned; how was he still in office then? Michael saw her expression and the truth hit her.

" Shit they're making it seem as though Crouch is stalling the aurors. That's cunning. After the attack last June, they've figured out how to put the blame on people who actually want to prevent their attacks," Lily gasped. Michael nodded and took a sip of his pumpkin juice. Lily wrinkled her nose and leaned back. She reached for her water and took a gulp of it.

" Voldemort has spent the last four years sneaking members of his death eaters into the Ministry and the School Governors. I think that he tried to show that he had control of both last year with the attacks and kidnapping, but it actually made him look bad. So this year he must have a new plan. There has to be some death eaters starting action here," Michael assessed. Lily nodded and looked over at the Slytherin table where the Marauders were. A group of girls surrounded them and Lily scowled as one shoved herself on Jason. Michael snorted when he saw where she was looking.

" Potter and Black went to Hogsmeade using some secret passage back in September. They met with Malfoy junior and had some plan to get Dumbledore sacked," Lily explained. Michael grimaced and looked over at her.

" Why didn't you tell anyone Lily. You could have gotten caught," Michael scolded. Lily rolled her eyes and snorted.

" Potter's idea of a punishment is sexual torment. I could just hex his family treasures off and run," Lily scoffed. Michael tensed and grabbed her arm. Lily looked up at him and saw that he was seething.

" Did Potter do anything to you?" Michael demanded in a quiet voice. Lily frowned and pulled her arm out of Michael's tight grip. She knew that was going to bruise her in the morning.

" No he hasn't. Don't be so crude Michael he's a Potter they're supposed to be chivalrous," Lily commented. Michael rolled his eyes and crossed his arms tightly.

" Potter is a pig. He shags a new girl everyday. I heard that he doesn't even escort them from his room. They're expected to take the walk of shame before five in the morning or face the Marauder's wrath," Michael sneered. Lily could see disgust riddled on his face. Michael may have been a man-whore, but he didn't toss girls aside like Potter and Black, well not anymore.

" We're getting off track. Potter must have killed Isabel Sheffield to get Dumbledore sacked," Michael announced. Lily frowned and grabbed her bag.

" I asked Lupin where Potter and the other arses where. Lupin said that Potter was in detention along with the others. They've got Filch and Pomfrey as covers," Lily answered. She stood and Michael stood with her. He jumped over the table and landed next to Lily.

" It's like you're asking to get a detention," Lily teased. Michael ran a hand through his hair and grinned at her. Lily frowned at his hair. It used to be cropped short to his head, but now it was long and ran along the side of his head.

" You don't need to cover your scar," Lily said in a soft voice. She reached up and ran a finger along where his scar was. Lily could feel the jagged surface and Michael shivered. He pulled away from her and his ears turned pink.

" Lily you left that without a single scar. I've got over twenty on my chest," Michael muttered. She frowned and looked at his chest. The bandages were visible from under his white shirt.

" Why haven't those scars healed yet?" Lily asked. Michael shrugged and looked into her eyes with an honest expression.

" He used a charm that Pomfrey doesn't' know the cure to. My cuts keep reopening," Michael answered. Lily paled and trembled. She knew that her skin was turning green.

" Shit so your cuts have been opening for the past three months?" Lily whispered. Michael nodded and that was all Lily needed. She remembered those cuts being burned and singed. She remembered the almost black blood falling from them. Lily blinked and saw Michael's white face as he almost gave up and died.

" Lily," a voice shouted in her ear. Her eyes bolted open and Lily relaxed. Michael was standing in front of her. His face was only a foot from hers. Lily leaned back and grabbed the edge of a table. Michael frowned and helped her stand. She shot him a grateful look that he frowned at.

" This is why I didn't tell you. I knew you'd have some reaction like this," Michael grumbled. Lily didn't bother to argue; he was right. She couldn't stand to watch people suffer. Seeing Michael being tormented constantly would surely kill her.

" Have the healers at Mungos taken a look at them?" Lily asked. Michael frowned and led her towards the door to the Great Hall. He stopped in the entrance and toyed with the frayed strap of his bag.

" They're saying that I should've died. I've lost too much blood. My body adjusted so it's making more blood. But there were two consequences to it. Either my heart will get tired and just stop or if it gets healed somehow I'll have too much blood in my veins," Michael answered.

Lily closed her eyes and wanted him to never say those words. She couldn't take this. Michael couldn't die; he couldn't. Michael was her first friend here that didn't turn out to be a death eater or betray her. He was the first person that she told all of her secrets to. He was flawed and slightly demanding, but Lily loved him for his flaws.

" How much time do they think you have?" Lily asked. She opened her eyes and met his. He gulped and Lily could see his Adam's apple bobble. His finger clenched tightly and Lily pulled one into her hands. She didn't break eye contact with him; she couldn't be afraid anymore.

" They think that if I limit my physical activity and usage of magic I could last another year or two. But I can't do that Lily; I can't stop fighting and become a coward for my own sake. The others and I were approved to start Order missions this weekend. We usually use a secret passage and go to Hogsmeade. Marlee and I side along with the others to the headquarters for training on the weekends and nights. I'm not going to back down though; I will be fighting this war until my dying breath," Michael explained.

Lily felt as though someone had punched her in the face and heart. She felt as though someone had taken a knife doused in Basilisk venom and stabbed her in the heart. She pulled her hands out of Michael's. Lily wanted to yell at him and tell him not to fight, but she couldn't. Lily knew that he was right. She would probably do the same thing if she were in his position. Lily had to be strong for him. It was time to put her petty fears aside and be the anchor that her friend needed. She looked up and met Michael's eyes with a stubborn gaze.

" When can I start?" Lily asked. He grinned at her and knew that she accepted his decision. Lily was ready to fight in the Order. She was going to do something and make sure that the purists didn't get control of the Ministry. Lily was going to be a leader.

" Well since you were supposed to attend training sessions with us I guess you'll have to do those. I'll ask Adam if he could side-along with you. Marlene usually goes with Frank and I go with Emmeline. We tried to partner up so that none of us would end up with someone we're too attached to," Michael answered. Lily nodded and opened her mouth ready to speak. But she felt someone staring at her with a dangerously heated gaze.

She turned and met Potter's eyes. He was glaring at Michael harshly and Lily let go of Michael's hand. Potter looked up at her and sent her a cool gaze. Lily remembered their conversation in the hospital wing. She couldn't let Michael get hurt. Michael was dying in front of her and she couldn't do anything to save him. But she could keep Potter from hurting him.

" Let's go. The others probably think that I killed you," Lily admitted. Michael nodded and the two of them exited the Great Hall. Sometimes it takes a Quidditch game to mend a friendship, other times it takes the darkness of reality. Lily experienced both. Her friends showed her that letting people control her was the worst thing someone could do; they made her fight. And for that Lily would forever be grateful. She was thankful for their smiles and their laughter. She was thankful that she knew people that stood by her even when they found out who she really was since they loved Lily either way. They didn't care if she was Lily Evans or Lily Gastor. They loved her for being herself. They loved the person that Lily was, not her name. Hopefully Lily will repay them the same favor.

* * *

" Watch where you're going mudblood," a voice sneered. Lily looked up and met Cressida's snotty glare. She rolled her eyes and Marlene helped Lily grab her bag from the ground. Cressida sneered at Lily and Marlene glared at the blonde.

" Does Parkinson know that you slept with Black?" Marlene growled. Cressida rolled her eyes and snorted.

" McKinnon well your future husband does enjoy my company a hell of a lot more than he enjoys yours," Cressida jeered. Lily saw a flash in Marlene's eyes and tugged her friend from the pretentious Slytherin. She hit a chest and looked up. Potter grabbed her and shoved her behind him. Lily looked around his body and saw that Black was frowning at Cressida.

" You're just something for me play with until McKinnon here realizes that I'm the only person she'll shag," Black scorned. Cressida blushed and stammered for a response. Before she could Marlene snorted and shoved Black.

" It's going to be a marriage of celibacy Black. You'll only get an heir if you have some bastard with a girl like Cressida here," Marlene snickered. Black frowned and grabbed Marlene. Lily could see fear shoot through Marlene's eyes for a second.

She tried to move but Potter wouldn't let her move. Her grabbed her and forced her to his chest. Lily glared at him and he ignored her. He held a wand in front of her almost protectively. Lily looked to the side and saw that most of their classmates had left the Herbalogy classroom. It was just her, Black, Marlene, Cressida, Potter, and two Hufflepuff students standing near the entrance to the greenhouse. Potter leaned down and his mouth was close to Lily's ear.

" We've got History of Magic let's go," Potter murmured. Lily scowled at him and tried to pry his finger off her body. She could feel Cressida watching Potter and her with a scowl.

" I'm not leaving until Black lets Marlee go," Lily announced. Black turned and seemed to notice her for the first time. Lily froze and met his eyes in tight stare. Potter tightened his grip on her waist and Lily wanted to slap him. She frowned at Black.

" Black you don't even take Herbalogy. Why are you out here?" Lily demanded. Black grinned viciously at her and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.

" I was smoking and waiting for Moony to come out. Then I heard Zabini and McKinnon fighting over me," Black answered. Lily nodded and Marlene shot her a pleading look.

" Lily just go to class. I think I can handle Black," Marlene said. Lily's eyes narrowed when she saw Black's hand tighten around Marlene's arm. She glanced up at Potter who was watching Black with a twisted stare.

" Please just make him let go of her," Lily begged. Potter looked down at her and sighed. He turned to Black with a set expression.

" Padfoot let go of her. You'll have a lifetime to interact with McKinnon," Potter announced. Black narrowed his eyes but let go of Marlene. He turned to Potter with a skeptical look. Lily didn't move when Black walked over to her and Potter. She could see Marlene and Cressida retreating to the castle from the corner of her eye. Why would Marlene leave?

" Mr. Black and Mr. Potter what's going on here?" a voice drawled. Lily looked over and saw Abraxas Malfoy standing in the front of the pathway to the castle. That's way Cressida and Marlene left. They didn't want to get a detention or lose points, something Malfoy showed his fondness for in the last few days. Lily felt his eyes flit down to her with a cat-like interest. They widened when he saw Potter's hold on her.

" Mr. Malfoy it's a pleasure to see you in the castle. Did the Dark Lord appreciate our plan," Black declared. Potter pushed Lily closer to his chest. She could hardly breathe. He seemed almost anxious for the death eater's answer.

" Yes he was proud to see that two purebloods accomplished something so big at such a young age," Malfoy asked. Lily narrowed her eyes at Malfoy's stare. " Who would this be?" Malfoy asked. He looked at Lily and his eyes traced her hair and eyes. He narrowed his eyes and Lily met his eyes with a clear expression.

" I'm Lily, Lily Evans," Lily announced. Potter shot her an annoyed look and let go of her. She met Malfoy's disdained stare with one of her own.

" Evans you say? I could have sworn that you looked like someone I knew. Well Miss. Evans I would advise for you to get to class. It's not safe for muggleborns," Malfoy ordered. Lily glared at him and shoved past Potter and Black. She made her way up the path to the castle slowly. Lily could hear their voices as she made her way into the castle. Black was just so pretentious. Lily couldn't let Marlene stay with him, she owed Marlene that much.

" Evans what was that?" a voice muttered in her ear. Lily stopped walking and turned around. Potter was staring at her with a frown. He crossed his arms and Lily glowered at his face.

" Potter your friend is a psychopath! I can't let Marlene deal with him on her own," Lily answered. Potter's eyes flashed dangerously and he grabbed her. Lily squirmed in his hold but he wouldn't let go. She met his eyes and he had a deadly gaze.

" Evans what happens between my mate and McKinnon isn't your business. I can't do anything about it and you can't either," Potter replied. Lily shoved him off her and continued down the hall. She had History of Magic and Lily would be damned if Potter distracted her from class.

She stormed down the hall with Potter trailing her. Lily slipped into the classroom and took her seat right as the bell rang. She ignored the stares the girls in the front row were sending Potter, who was sitting right next to her. She scowled at his leg, which he was practically bouncing on. But Lily didn't speak to him. Talking to Potter usually had bad consequences. So instead Lily spent the period scowling at her blank parchment.

The minute the bell rang, Lily bolted from the classroom and went down to the Quidditch Pitch for practice. Trevor was getting better at seeking. If he kept improving like this then Gryffindor could beat Ravenclaw at their next game. After a long practice, Lily showered and finished her Herbalogy homework. She then went on patrol with Lupin and returned to her dorm to finish her homework.

At one in the morning Lily finished her homework. She tried to sleep, but it wouldn't come. Something was keeping her up. Lily threw her covers off in frustration and grabbed a book from her nightstand. She slipped a pair of slippers on and shoved her wand in the pocket of her bathrobe. Her fee crept down to the common room.

Lily could see the faint embers of a fire in the fireplace. She made her way over to it and saw that someone was occupying the long couch directly in front of the fireplace.

" Gideon?" Lily asked. A ginger boy turned and Lily could see faint tear trails on his face. His brown eyes met hers and he moved over. Lily sat next to him and cleared her voice. She could see that he had dark circles under his eyes and his nose was faintly red. He suffered from the same thing that all redheads and gingers had; stuffy faces when they cried.

Lily sat next to him and stared into the fire. She reached our and grabbed his hand. She never thought about what Gideon was going through. He dated Dorcas and was really close, even closer than Michael, with Benjy Fenwick. Gideon Prewitt lost his parents and all he had left was his friends and brother.

" What was Dorcas like?" Lily asked. Gideon glanced at her and she met his teary eyes with a weak smile. She squeezed his hand and he cleared his voice. He started to speak in a shaky and delicate voice, but it grew into something strong.

" She used to be best friends with Mary McDonald not Marlene. Marlene used to be a tomboy. She was actually friends with Benjy and Michael. The other Gryffindor girls sort of avoided Marlee; Adam always thought it had something to do with Black and her situation. Dorcas was amazing. She had this quiet way of loving someone. Dorcas was the quiet friend and McDonald was the religious one from a Catholic family. But Dorcas never let any of the Slytherin bully her for wearing a muggle cross around her neck. She used to threaten to hex their lower intestines out," Gideon started in a fond voice.

Lily was surprised that Marlene wasn't friends with the other Gryffindor girls. Marlene seemed like a girly-girl, not one that preferred the company of boys to girls. But Lily couldn't judge her. Her best friend was a boy, and the only friend she had who was a girl was Selena. And even then, Lily used to send more time with Selena's brother and mum. Gideon rubbed a tear from his face. Lily could see the left half of his face illuminated in the light of the fire.

" I never really thought much of Meadows. I was friends with Benjy. Marlene used to bemoan her roommates all the time so that may have impacted my opinion. But one day I was down at the pitch for practice. Dorcas and I were in charge of putting away the equipment this one-day in the winter of my fifth year. I found out that she wanted to play for the harpies after school ended and we started talking a lot more. Right before the Easter holiday, she kissed me on the platform. This was surprising since Dorcas isn't outgoing like Marlee. She didn't have Alice's leadership or Emmeline's passion. She was the quiet girl that got overlooked for her friends. But I think I fell in love with the way she could love someone so softly. We dated for the rest of the year and corresponded over the summer. Over the summer her parents died during a death eater massacre. My parents died. Alice's brother was killed on an auror mission. That's where everything went downhill. Marlene, Frank, Emmeline, and Adam started smoking. Fabian, Michael, and I started drinking. Alice and Benjy looked like shit through the summer. When we came back to Hogwarts it sort of changed but then the attack in Hogsmeade happened. Dorcas died," Gideon choked.

His face didn't crumple up in pain. He remained strong and Lily gave his shoulder a tight squeeze. She didn't know how much these people had lost. But they were her friends and she would be there for them.

" She's sound amazing. I wish I could've met her," Lily said. Gideon nodded and she turned from him. He collected himself and let go of her hand. Lily looked up at him and saw that he was standing.

" I'm going to go up to bed. Thanks for being there for me Lily," Gideon announced. Lily smiled at him and brushed a strand of her hair off her forehead.

" I'm happy to help a friend," Lily answered. She watched Gideon lug his body up the stairs. After he closed the door to his room, Lily reached for the book she brought. It was a copy of a pureblood history book made in the thirties. She leafed through the book and found no answers that could help either her or Marlene.

A yawn escaped Lily's mouth and she closed the book. She had to get some sleep everyday; that was her rule. After trudging back to her bed, Lily got up four hours later and walked with Marlene to the Great Hall. She sat in between Adam and Michael. That was a mistake; their shoulders kept hitting her.

" Michael could you stop shoving me?" Lily groaned. Michael turned to her and purposely shoved her on Adam's shoulder. Adam winked and shoved her on Michael's shoulder. Lily leaned forward before they could repeat the interaction. She felt vaguely sentimental. That was something that brothers would do.

After breakfast, Lily followed Michael and Marlene down to Potions. She listened to them argue about the upcoming Hufflepuff- Slytherin game. As the group entered the Potions room Lily smiled; even though everything in her life was shit, she had her friends back and that was worth all the pain.

* * *

" Lily are you sure that you don't want to come?" Emmeline asked. Lily looked up from the book in her lap. She faked a yawn and met Marlene's gaze with a pitiful expression. Her friends were going to the pregame party being hosted in the Hufflepuff Common Room that Friday evening. But Lily couldn't go; she had something to do.

" Sorry Emmy, I haven't gotten much sleep. I'm turning in early so I can take notes on the Hufflepuff routines tomorrow," Lily shrugged. Marlene shot her a dubious stare that Lily didn't meet. She watched as Marlene slipped into a pair of huge heels and Emmeline kept a pair of earrings on. Soon after, the two girls left and met with the other Gryffindors in the common room.

Lily sat in her empty dorm. She knew what she had to do. Ever since the previous day, Lily had this strange feeling inside of her. She knew that she had to look at a memory. Dumbledore must have kept a charm on her so that she would know when to use the Pensieve.

Thirty minutes after Marlene and Emmeline left, Lily removed the Pensieve and vials of memories from her bracelet. She locked the door to her dorm and placed the Pensieve on a desk. Her finger grazed the pile of vials as she wondered which one to use. One of them rolled to the side and Lily moved to put it back in the pile. As her fingers grazed the surface of the vial, she felt a spark fly through her; that was the memory she had to look at.

After putting the other memories away, Lily dumped the silvery memory into the Pensieve. She watched as the mist swirled into the liquid in the Pensieve. She leaned over the Pensieve and felt something tug at her navel. Her body flew into the basin.

Lily felt her body fall on a solid surface. She could see a fire crackling in a fireplace. She was in some sort of dorm. As her eyes grazed the contents of the room Lily realized that she was in the Heads dorms. Rich greens and royal blues stood out from the bookshelves and desks. It was snowing outside in heavy flurries. Lily heard footsteps echo from across the room. Standing in front of her was an elegant witch.

The girl had black hair that fell in sophisticated curls around her face. Her eyes were round and a rich midnight blue. Her skin was a honey color that could only be attained from inheritance. The girl was in all essence, gorgeous. But a scowl was on the girl's perfect face. Lily heard her clear her throat. The witch crossed her arms over her uniform and looked towards the couch in front of the fireplace.

" Charlus we have class. Professor Merrythought said that if you missed another day, she would have to fail you for the course," the girl declared.

Lily could hear a light French accent wrap around the girl's voice. But it was nasal; it sounded almost musical. She heard someone move from the couch and looked towards it. It was the headboy from her previous memory; it was Charlus Potter. But something was different about him. His eyes were bloodshot and there were large bags under them. His clothing was wrinkled and seemed to hang off his gaunt figure. He looked almost ill.

" Rea I couldn't care what that old bat wants me to do," Charlus grunted. He moved towards the staircase present in the middle of the room. But before he could even take a step on the first stair, a hand grabbed his shoulder and shoved him back.

" Charlus, Marie wouldn't want you to do this," the girl argued. A flash of anger appeared in the headboy's eyes. He moved and shoved the willowy woman into the wall next to them. She didn't let fear show in her eyes though.

" Well Marie died two months ago so she can't exactly scold me," Charlus muttered. Lily could see an aurora of despair surrounding him. The headgirl glared at him and scoffed.

" Charlus I'm your best friend and I was almost like a sister to Marie. I can assure you that if she was alive she would probably hex your hair off," the girl snorted. Something shifted in the room.

" Dorea, the only girl I could ever love died less than three months ago. I honestly couldn't care about going to class," Charlus exclaimed. The slender girl pursed her lips and wrapped her arms over Charlus's shoulders.

" I promised Marie on her deathbed, that I would get you through NEWTS. Charlus just go to class and write a bloody essay or two. You're a Potter; you're Charlus Potter. I've seen you write an entire OWL in less than twenty minutes and get an O. Pass your damn NEWTS, graduate and then you can do whatever the fuck you want. But until June, I will make sure that you go to class and finish this year," Dorea roared. Her face lit up with passion and fire. Lily was reminded of Potter for a moment. She could see Potter's long and straight nose on this girl. She could see Potter's instrumental worthy fingers and the way he walked in this girl.

Charlus slumped and let go of the girl. But she didn't let go of him. His eyes were filled with so much pain and agony. But the girl was stubborn. She held onto his shoulders like an anchor; she was there for him.

" Rea I can't do this. Marie and Luke Gastor are dead. Will is like my little brother but I can't even face him anymore. His mum, Priscilla, is stuck in her own misery; she can't even take care of her son. I want to be there for Will, but whenever I see him I can see Marie. I can see her gold eyes and that fiery red hair," Charlus moaned.

" I spoke with Will. His dad's brother, Edward, is returning from Holland by June. He can look over Will, Will is okay with that," Dorea explained. Charlus ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

" I'm his godfather Rea, I can't let a stranger take care of him. I lost my father when I was only two years older than him. I need to be strong for him; I owe that much to Marie," Charlus sighed. Lily knew that they were talking about her dad. She never knew that he was almost an orphan. But her mum was fond of her dad' mum, how did that happen if Priscilla Gastor was driven to a permanent state of mourning?

" Charlus don't worry about Will. I may not be his godmother but Marie was. I will help you raise him. Charlus Jason Potter, I Dorea Calliope Black, promise that you will never have to be alone again," Dorea soothed. Charlus looked up at her with a sealing gaze.

Recognition suddenly hit Lily. The headgirl, wearing Ravenclaw colors with a musical accent was James Potter's mum; she was the late Dorea Potter. Lily frowned at the scene in front of her; Charlus was in love with Marie Gastor, but Marie died of Spattergroit during the Christmas Holiday of her seventh year. So that means that Charlus must have done something that Lily once considered before she knew about her betrothal to Potter; he married his best friend.

Lily felt something tug her upwards back to her own life. The memory began to fade away and the last thing Lily saw was Dorea Black's haunting cobalt eyes sealing a promise that would eventually lead her to marry the broken boy in front of her.

* * *

**Everything in Lily's life is slowly spiraling downwards. But she did get her friends back, even if they still don't know her true identity.**

**I just want to say something about Confingo. It is an AU story, meaning that I have an ending planned out that will alter the entire Harry Potter universe regarding him. So James isn't going to go through some reformative stage for quite a bit of time. I actually have that part planned out for Lily's seventh year. Bear with me, it will take some time and most of 6th year to see even the slightest bit of change in James Potter's attitude.**

**Dumbledore's absence from Lily's life will impact her growth from a scared girl into a soldier. Her sixth year will hold some similarities to Harry's 5th and the year when Voldemort took over the Ministry and the British Wizarding world.**

**R&amp;R**

**\- Rin**


	13. Swan Song

**Chapter 13 Swan Song**

**(Silly Love Songs )**

* * *

A frown graced Lily's face as she stared at the page in front of her. Her handwriting was etched into the paper with the assistance of emerald green ink imported from Greece. The Library was quiet. This was unusual since students often frequented the premises of the Library on Saturdays to complete homework. But the presence of a Hufflepuff- Slytherin game may have had an effect as to why the only people present in the library were Lily and Madame Pince.

Lily kept put her quill down and stretched her back. She could hear the sound of her vertebrae snapping lightly. She tugged her hair into a tight bun and slumped on her arms. Lily looked at the entry she had just recorded in her mum's journal. It entailed the new information she attained from Mr. Kingsmill's letter and the journey into the memory that Dumbledore gave her. Lily frowned and wondered who had given Professor Dumbledore that memory. She assumed that it must have been Dorea Potter since Charlus was a death eater.

Professor Dumbledore was absent from Hogwarts for almost three weeks. The Daily Prophet contained articles professing the various sins Dumbledore had conducted which jeopardized the student body. He seemed too simply disappear without a trace. Abraxas Malfoy had attempted to open the Headmaster's office, but the password was unknown.

Last year people were strong in their stances against Voldemort. Now they were hanging onto the edge until they were forced to choose. Professor Dumbledore's departure from Hogwarts and England sent the wizarding community into a downward spiral. The Wizengamot had proposed several laws, which discriminated muggles and muggleborns. Lily was sickened when she found out that the Muggleborn Registry Act was almost approved. She knew that if this law were approved, Potter and Jason would refuse to let her register as a muggleborn. But she had to. Lily wasn't a Gastor anymore.

Hogwarts in general was a darker place. Insults and derogatory language was thrown towards muggleborns. Lily had been hexed more than once during the start of the week. This ended when Potter found out. He openly declared to the Great Hall that he, and no one else, would torment Lily. Suspicion began to arise at Lily's relationship with Potter. The gossip was worse than when people assumed that something was happening between her and Jason.

But her friends stood by her side. Michael and Marlene walked with her to every class, and when they weren't able to, one of her other friends would. Lily felt a tad smothered by them. She was never alone. Even when she wanted to go to the loo, one of them would follow her into it, more so the girls.

Abraxas Malfoy or Headmaster Malfoy as he had ordered the students to call him was simply horrid. Lily was disgusted by his acts of bigotry. He openly ignored the plight of the muggleborns. He even commended students like Mulciber and Black for a good hex or two. The other Professors took a firm stance against him for about two days, but when he got the Muggle Studies teacher fired for treasonous behavior, the teachers stopped their outright methods of hatred. They didn't want to abandon the students to a man like Malfoy. Marlene had informed Lily that the Muggle Studies replacement was Cygnus Black, Sirius's uncle.

Lily and Michael began to study the members of the Wizengamot and the Governors for the School. They came to the dark realization that at least 53% of the Wizengamot were purists and in Voldemort's inner circle. The School Governors were a bit harder to decipher, as most of them were old purebloods. Michael said that they should just assume that there were no remaining partial members of the School Board.

Lily was tired. She tried to help out students with their schoolwork and dealing with the changes in their lives but it was so hard to lead them. Most of them were losing hope too quickly. Parents began to pull their children out of school. This had led to a new law that enforced all magical children in between the ages of 11 and 17 to attend Hogwarts. They were trapped; all of the muggleborns were like sitting ducks. Eventually Death Eaters would come to Hogwarts for the muggleborns; this made Lily's sleep even worse. She wasn't afraid for herself; she knew that she would fight to protect muggleborn rights until her dying breath. Lily was scared for the muggles who didn't understand why their world was falling apart.

Death Eater attacks were increasing in high numbers. Lily stopped reading the Daily Prophet; it was too depressing. She knew that Death Eaters wanted to either get all muggles out of England or kill them. But the methods they were using were unforgivable. Muggles had theories that the world was ending. Lily wanted to fight so badly. That's why she was attending the Order meeting that night at midnight with the other Gryffindors.

But for now, Lily had her own issues to deal with. She had a puzzle with pieces that didn't even fit together. She was just finding out who her mother really was. Lily still had to deal with the idea that she could have had uncles and aunts but most of them were dead. She wanted to talk to her parents or even Charlus Potter but they were dead. Writing to Mr. Kingsmill wouldn't help her anymore. Lily was able to piece together her mum's story pretty well. She just didn't understand why the werewolves decided to kill members of the Lilius family.

It was common knowledge as to why werewolves and Lily's maternal family had a bad history. It started over 200 years ago when one of Lily's ancestors discovered that werewolves could be stunned by silver that was spelled with a homophorus charm. A war was waged in Greece that almost wiped out the entire werewolf population. It ended with the wolves becoming close to extinct. The remaining wolves soon repopulated and scattered across the globe to ensure that they couldn't go fully extinct. The ones that stayed in Greece held the bitter reminder to their loss; they wanted revenge.

Lily knew that her grandparents were a part of the elite pureblood families in Greece. She didn't understand why they took so many safety precautions for her while she stayed with them. But now she did. Her grandparents died at the hands of werewolves. Werewolves ensured that the Lilius bloodline would end in Greece. They killed the sole heir to the family. The bloodline was only extant in the female line through Lily's mum.

But the genes of her mother's family seemed to be either not present or dormant in her brothers since the genes only traveled to female descendants. Lily knew that she had them and if her brothers had daughters then there was a possibility that they could get them. She prayed that the line would end once and for all with her. Too much blood had been drawn thanks to her family.

She rubbed her eyes and closed the notebook. Writing down what was happening in her life was a precaution that Lily learned from her mum. Being obliviated was always a possibility that she had to be prepared for. Lily checked her watch and decided that the game must have ended by now. She packed up her stuff and kept the books she used to finish some work away. After saying goodbye to Madame Pince, Lily headed down the hallway with her wand held tightly in her hand.

She couldn't hear any noise. The castle was silent. But there seemed to be an air of victory and defeat arising from the dungeons. Lily hoped that the Hufflepuffs had won. If they managed to beat the Slytherins, then the snakes would be out of the tournament. There was no way they could get enough points to secure a victory. With these thoughts, Lily entered the Gryffindor Common Room. She could see bustling activity inside, yet it wasn't clear to see if the Slytherins or Hufflepuffs had won. Lily caught sight of her friends sitting around one of the window seats in the back of the common room. She walked over to them and greeted some of her housemates. Most of the Gryffindors knew Lily since she was the best tutor.

" Hey how was it?" Lily asked as she made her way to the group. Adam, Alice and Fabian were sitting on the window seat. Marlene was leaning against Fabian and Emmeline was perched on Adam's lap. Lily could see Frank and Gideon sitting on two seats that they had either transfigured or dragged over from the center of the room. Michael was standing and holding a piece of parchment. He turned and had a grim expression when he saw Lily.

"It was shit. Turns out that most of Hufflepuff team were muggleborns; half of them were in the hospital wing today thanks to the Slytherins. The game was played with dirty moves that weren't even fouled. I'm sure that Black Junior was trailing after the snitch for the entire game after Black sent a bludger at Diggory that sent him into the stands. Potter must have wanted to make up for the lack of points they got in the past game. Finally after four hours Black caught the snitch and the game ended with a score of 450-80," Michael explained.

Lily paled and bit her lip. Michael handed her the notes he took for the game and she folded them up with a frown. Slytherin was in the lead for the cup; this wasn't supposed to happen. If Gryffindor beat Ravenclaw at the next game in November, then Lily would play Slytherin. Gryffindor needed enough points to overtake Slytherin's place. Adam looked up and cleared his throat.

" The Ravenclaw team is shite after they lost half their team last year. They've got new players and Davies. I think we can take them pretty easily. The problem is if we play Slytherin in December how are we going to catch up with them for the Inter-house Cup," Adam announced. Lily knew that he was right, there was no way they could catch up to Slytherin. She frowned and thought about it.

" We could stall the Ravenclaw game and try to catch up to the Slytherins," Marlene suggested. Frank denied that they could do this and Lily agreed. Davies was a decent seeker, but he used dirty methods. Trevor wouldn't stand a chance if they tried to stall the game.

" We could always use Griffiths as a trick. He could get injured after we have enough points to stand a chance to beat Slytherin and then Lily could take over as seeker and end the game," Gideon proposed.

" No absolutely not. We're Gryffindors not Slytherins. We're just going to have to practice long and hard. Hopefully that will be enough," Lily answered. She refused to do something that could jeopardize the safety of her team; that was cowardice. Alice looked up at them and leaned in.

" Emmeline and I just placed a charm on this area which prevents people from hearing our conversation while you guys were busy ogling Quidditch. We need to talk about tonight," Alice whispered. Lily blushed and the group pulled in closer.

" It's simple really. All of you guys know Hagrid right? Well it's rather convenient that he has given us detention in the Forbidden forest tonight. We've each paired up with someone to get to the headquarters of the Order. Since this is Lily's first time doing this, Adam will be side-along apparating with her. Emmeline you're with Michael and I'm taking Marlene. Fabian will be apparating there first to see if the Headquarters is safe. He'll come back and we'll go in pairs to the Headquarters," Frank explained.

Lily understood why he was appointed the undeclared leader. Besides her and Michael, Frank was the person with the most experience in dealing with Death Eaters. The plan seemed solid and Lily was sure that it was safe. The conversation soon turned to lighter topics like the NEWT load the seventh years had. Afterwards, the group headed down to the Great Hall for dinner. The Slytherin table was almost completely absent, save for a few first years.

At Marlene's advising, Lily had changed into a pair of elastic leggings that molded to her figure. She wore a black tank top and a slick jacket with a heating charm on it. Her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail and Lily wore a long black cloak over her clothing. Her wand was fastened to one of the wristbands that Marlene was fond of for easy carrying.

She ate a bland meal of dry chicken and bread. Lily secured a few supplies inside of her bracelet just to be safe. The Gryffindors ate in silence and only held the conversations for the purpose of avoiding suspicions. After dinner, the group waited until it was dark before heading down to the grounds in pairs. Lily went with Adam in the middle of the group. She copied his lithe walk as they approached the gamekeeper's hut. Adam opened the door and Lily walked in behind him.

" Adam McKinnon and Lily Evans, good. We're waiting for Longbottom. Fabian Prewitt has reported that the headquarter is secure. The others have already gone. I'll be following you lot after Longbottom comes," Hagrid declared.

" Hagrid are you a member of the Order?" Lily asked. The large man smiled at her and pulled out his umbrella.

" Of course I am! Dumbledore's a good bloke to follow. Shacklebolt is trying to lead the Order with the instructions that Albus left him. Longbottom is almost here, you two better head off," Hagrid ordered. Lily nodded and followed Adam out of the hut through the back door. They pulled their hoods up and silently headed out to the Woods. Adam pulled his wand out once they entered the forest.

Lily copied him and walked next to him. She looked up at the sky and saw the full moon above them. Lily sucked a breath in and sped up. Adam frowned at her and grabbed her arm. Lily shot him a desperate look and indicated for him to run. He seemed dubious but ran with her. Once they reached the edge of the border of the grounds, Lily stopped. She panted for air and flinched when she heard a howl.

" There's werewolf. We need to leave now," Lily ordered. Adam paled but nodded. He grabbed Lily's hand and she felt a tug at her navel. They landed and Lily took a step back to get her balance. She bit her lip and looked up to the sky with a frown.

" Do you think that Frank and Hagrid are alright?" Lily asked. Adam straightened his back and frowned.

" We'll have to hope so. How did you know that there was a werewolf in the forest?" Adam demanded. Lily bit her lip and looked down.

" It's not my secret to share. We should get going," Lily advised. Adam nodded and turned from her. Lily looked around and frowned; large muggle warehouses surrounded them. She followed Adam to one and he opened the back door to the large building. She slipped through and he closed the door behind them. The warehouse was empty, save for a group of fifty witches and wizards standing in the middle.

Lily saw Marlene waving at them. Before she could take a step someone grabbed her by the neck and held her in a chokehold.

" When was the first time we met?" a deep voice barked. Lily looked up and saw Bishop Shacklebolt. She strained against him and spoke.

" In a muggle clearing during a death eater attack," Lily gasped. He let go of her and she hunched over for air. Lily glared at Bishop and he shot her a shrug.

"Usually we use the Patronus charm to make sure that someone isn't an imposter. But you seem to have a certain issue with that spell," Bishop explained. Lily nodded and saw that Adam had shot a misty Greyhound from his wand.

" Shacklebolt was it really necessary to choke her?" Adam groaned. Bishop chuckled and grabbed the two of them by the shoulders. He led them over to the group.

" Moody was my mentor McKinnon. Constant Vigilance and all that rubbish," Bishop answered. He let go of them when they reached the group. Lily could see her friends standing with a group of people not much older than them. She made a move to go to them, but Bishop led her over to a group of people with gold auror robes.

" Moody wants to talk to you," Bishop said. Lily nodded and faced the group. She recognized the faces of Doc Dearborn and Andromeda Black immediately. But there was one face that shocked her.

" Gale what are you doing here?" Lily gasped. A pair of sky blue eyes met hers with a grin.

" Rose, they told me that you finally agreed to show up to a meeting," Galen chuckled. Lily walked over to him and he shrugged.

" The auror department is close to doing absolutely nothing to fight Voldemort. Lucretia took me to a meeting back in September and I joined," Galen explained. Lily nodded; he was a fighter, he would want to be in the heat of the action. She wanted to talk to him but a loud whistle broke her train of thought. She looked to the front of the room and saw Bishop Shacklebolt and Auror Moody standing in the front. To their side was Professor McGonagall and someone that shocked Lily.

" Professor Gladstone?" Lily asked. The lithe woman turned and saw Lily's shocked expression.

" It's about time you showed up to an Order meeting," Gladstone snorted. Lily blushed and opened her mouth to speak, but a voice interrupted.

" There's no time for talking. It's good to see that you've decided to show up to a meeting Evans. Now we've got work to do. Each of you was given an assignment by Professor Dumbledore, please present your work to the group," Moody ordered. He waved his wand and a large mass of seats appeared. A podium stood in front of him and he motioned for someone to come up. Lily watched the meeting with rapt eyes. Groups of either two or three presented their assignments to the Order.

Some spoke about the conditions inside of the Ministry. Others spoke about the stance of various magical creatures in the war. Lily was shocked to hear that most of them stood with Voldemort. She learned that Michael's and hers assumptions about the Wizengamot and School Governors were right. The only country showing any assistance for the British Ministry was the United States, and all they were doing was offering refuge for the muggles and muggleborns. France and Spain had sided with Voldemort. Even Greece was faltering from its agreement to assist the Ministry.

" I'd like to personally thank the next group. It consists of two individuals who have managed to infiltrate the Death Eaters. They are risking their lives to get information for us. Mr. Severus Snape and Mr. Peter Pettigrew," Moody announced.

Two people stood from the back row. They slinked over to the podium and removed their hoods. Lily could see a pale, tall man with slightly greasy black hair. His partner was a short ferrety man with blonde hair and watery eyes. They didn't look much older than her. They looked to be in their mid-twenties.

" I'm going to be honest here; Dumbledore should have taken my advice years ago. I told him that the Dark Lord was slowly infiltrating the Ministry. He didn't take my warning and let the Death Eaters continue to work their way into the Ministry. They had this plan for the last decade; get control of the Ministry and School by getting Dumbledore and Bagnold sacked. They're halfway through with the plan. Once Bagnold is sacked, the Wizengamot has already chosen the next Minister; a man by the name of Cornelius Fudge. He had been under the imperius charm for the past ten years. The Dark Lord prefers to run things from behind the stage. He will continue to either kill or torture the muggles of England until there aren't any left," The pale man spat.

Lily felt sickened by the man's speech. How could one man have so much hate? How could so many people agree with him? There was a war based on fear and prejudiced, a war that was killing. Whispers arose through the crowd at the pale man's announcement. Lily looked behind her seat and saw that Michael was looking at her. They were right. Voldemort's ultimate plan was to get rid of Bagnold and more importantly Dumbledore. Why would Dumbledore leave if that was what Voldemort wanted? How could he leave them to fight a losing war?

" Thank you Mr. Snape for your words. I'm sorry but I can't agree with you. Dumbledore left England to get information on something. He'll be back soon and when he comes back we will win the war," Bishop announced. His declaration seemed to soothe the Order members, if only a bit. Lily sat back in her seat and reached for Galen's hand. He wrapped his around hers in a soothing manner.

" All of you were assigned work by Dumbledore. Continue your assignments until we meet next time. I will personally inform the leaders of each team and you can spread word about the meeting. Some announcements, today we welcome Lily Evans to the ranks of the Order. I have witnessed not only her superb dueling skills but also the kindness and selflessness she holds," Bishop pronounced. Lily blushed as eyes traveled over to her. She could feel the critical stare of several older members of the Order. Lily dropped Galen's hand and sat up. She would not be weak; she would be strong.

" Our meeting is drawing to an end. For those who were chosen to fight tonight, stay in this warehouse with Aurors Dearborn and Kingsmill. The rest of you have a good week, remember to have constant vigilance," Moody announced. Lily stood and her seat disappeared. People milled about for twenty minutes or so speaking in low voices. Lily met several members of the Order she knew and didn't know. She was happy to see Kingsley and Emma Vanity wearing junior auror robes. After that, about ten people stayed behind.

The group consisted of Moody, Galen, Doc Dearborn, Adam, Michael, Emmeline, Lily, and several other people. The other Gryffindors were dismissed and were assigned to missions for next week. Lily didn't understand why she was chosen to fight tonight; she hadn't gone through the training the others went through. But then again, she did train with Professor Gladstone and the aurors in France when she was younger.

The group stood in the empty warehouse and waited for Moody to report where they should go to for the night. Lily stood with Adam, whom she was assigned to duel with. She spoke to him in a low voice regarding several defensive spells. Around midnight, a Patronus appeared inside of the room. It was Kingsley's lynx. It informed the group to get to London immediately. There was a group of rowdy junior death eaters having a bit too much fun in a pub.

Lily grabbed Adam's hand and was ready to fight. The group apparated to the outside of a small pub in a poorer section of London. Lily could hear shouting coming from inside of the pub. She moved to enter it, but Adam quickly grabbed her arm. He shot a spell at her eyes and hair and said that they were too noticeable. Lily noticed that his usual electric blue eyes were a muddy green. She followed him and Doc into the pub.

The sight disgusted her. A group of about four death eaters was inside. Lily could see the blonde hair of Evan Rosier peeking out from under a hood. She remembered that Lucian was betrothed to Rosier's sister. Adam covered her as the group stunned the death eaters and freed the muggles, which were tortured for fun. It was an easy raid for a group of ten. The only injury was caused by a muggle lashing out in fear at Galen. Afterwards, Lily bid a quick goodbye to the group and apparated to the Hogwarts grounds with Adam. Emmeline and Michael had left before them so Lily could say goodbye to Galen.

She shivered when a howl ran through the air. Adam frowned and tightened his grip on Lily's shoulder. He pulled her close and Lily took her wand out. She knew that werewolves couldn't be hurt by most spells, but there was one that was always effective. Adam tugged her through the forest in a brisk pace. Lily heard another howl; it was much closer to them. She couldn't let Adam get hurt; he had a future that was more than worth fighting for.

" Adam listen to me. I need you to understand that you can't be brave right now. There is a bloody thirsty werewolf in this forest that will kill you without hesitation. I can't explain why but I know how to fight a werewolf. When I give you the signal I need you to run and don't stop," Lily ordered.

" Lily don't be ridiculous. I'm not leaving you; you're my friend. My sister adores you and you may have been somewhat of a bitch, but you're a good person. We can take a wolf," Adam argued. Lily shot him an annoyed look and heard another howl. She moved back and hit a tree. Adam stood to her side and held his wand out. Lily closed her eyes and felt her heart pound violently against her chest. They shouldn't have had to deal with this, not tonight.

She could hear an animal claw into the small opening where they stood. She watched as a wolf entered the clearing. Lily immediately recognized those pale blue eyes; it was Remus. She gulped and the wolf circled them. Lily took her wand out and had a spell on the tip of her tongue. But suddenly a rustle went through the forest. A large shaggy dog appeared from an opening in the trees. Lily watched as it jumped on the wolf. She let out a sharp scream as the wolf slapped the dog down and turned to her.

" Adam! You need to leave now," Lily shouted. Adam snorted from her side and held his wand out to the wolf. Lily knew that he wasn't strong enough to take down a werewolf; she wasn't strong enough. It had been years since Lily had last stunned a werewolf; it had been years since she had last seen one. But fighting werewolves was in her blood. She reached for the bracelet on her hand as the werewolf slinked over to her. Lily ripped into the expandable charm and tore a knife out of the bracelet.

" Lily werewolves aren't affected by silver; it actually helps them," Adam said from behind her. Lily brandished the knife in front of her and glanced at the wolf.

"Sliver charmed with the homophorus charm can stun a werewolf. It makes the wolf paralyzed as its brain fights over trying to stay as a wolf or let the charm take control," Lily answered. She heard that sentence more than once from her grandfather. She heard a bark come from the base of a large pine tree and looked over. The shaggy dog was laying on its side and blood poured from it. Lily heard another animal coming through the forest; no it couldn't be another werewolf.

A large tan stag burst into the clearing. It looked so graceful and poise. Its eyes immediately landed on Lily's defensive crouch. To Lily's shock, there was a gold rat resting on the stag's head. She blinked at the spectacle and wondered if anyone had drugged her recently. The wolf glanced at the stag and seemed to almost calm. But then it turned to Lily with a ferocious howl and made a lunge for her.

Lily didn't close her eyes. She stared at the wolf as it sprawled across the small clearing and brandished its claws towards her. She pulled her knife high into the air and threw it. It flew to the wolf in a twisted spiral. Everything seemed to slow from there. Lily felt fear race through her as the wolf batted her knife away and continued its lunge. Adam grabbed her and shoved her chest to his. She turned her head and waited for a painful death. But it never came. A guttural howl went through the air and Lily looked up.

The stag, the beautiful and nimble creature had thrown itself against the wolf. The injured dog jumped on the wolf's back and the rat clawed at its eyes. The dog turned and barked at Lily in annoyance. She gulped and grabbed Adam's hand. The two sprinted out of the forest and to the safety of the castle. Lily could hear his ragged breathing as they ran. She was sure that she sounded worse. Branches and small ferns clawed into their robes and bodies. Lily used her wand to send the branches from their faces as they ran. She could feel her heart pounding in fear against her chest. She couldn't die like this; she couldn't die like her family.

A night buried so deep in her memory returned to her thoughts. It sprang out at her with a burning passion, so bright that Lily couldn't ignore it. As she ran the memory lived in her mind. The howls and Adam's ragged breathing disappeared as she remembered her fall from society.

* * *

_Flashback_

Being twelve was a time of phenomenon in Lily's life. She had come to Greece three years ago and was close to her thirteenth birthday. But for now she enjoyed the sea salt stained air. Her young fingers clumsily popped a pomegranate seed into her perfect and round mouth. A tan hand swiped at the large fruit and Lily scowled. She opened her eyes and felt the air bat at her eyes. The nimble figure of Selena Kingsmill stood out against the backdrop of the beach.

" Lena that was mine," Lily groaned. Her friend shot her a catty grin before popping a few purple seeds into her mouth. Her tawny hair whipped against her back with the wind. Lily's hair never did that. Thanks to her dad's genes, Lily was stuck with a mess of fiery hair that ended into looping curls. Her hair refused to turn into long and lavish curls; instead it chose to be a stubborn mix of her parent's colors. It even contained a few of the gold Gastor highlights.

" Lils you've eaten an entire one today morning. My mum says that if you eat anymore you'll turn into a pomegranate," Selena giggled. Lily wanted to be mad at her, but it was impossible. Selena was like the twin sister she always dreamed of having. The two girls were a perfect balance. Lily was a perfectionist and Selena was fine with a few mistakes here and there. Selena preferred spending her days outside getting tanned and salt-kissed, but Lily was more in favor of playing on Mrs. Kingsmill's pianoforte or reading a book with her grandfather. Yet there was no doubt that the two girls were destined to be friends. They seemed to complete each other.

" Lilium your grandmother is here," a voice called out from the Kingsmill villa. Lily stood with a frown; usually her grandmum would let her stay at the Kingsmill villa for dinner. She had been looking forward to seeing Galen for the first time since school as he was staying with a friend for the winter break. Selena walked back to the house with her. Lily entered the spacious villa and the scent of baklava baking hit her. She ignored her stomach and made her way to the entrance hall where Mrs. Kingsmill and her grandmother stood. Her grandmother seemed younger than her age. But being a witch had something to do with that. Cassia Lilius was a svelte witch with bloody red hair and hawk-like chestnut eyes. She wore a conservative set of dress robes that both made her look spectacular and left much to imagination. Her face puckered into a small smile when she saw Lily.

" Lilium we must go," Cassia ordered. A rough accent twisted around her words. Cassis was from Delphi so she had a stronger accent than most of the people Lily knew in Greece. Lily nodded and said goodbye to a kind Mrs. Kingsmill and Selena. She followed her grandmother down the street and they entered the Lilius villa.

" Lily pack your things, you must go to England now," her grandmother ordered. Lily shot her a curious look and her grandmother sighed. Her eyes looked up to the sunroof of the villa where the sunset was visible. She kneeled in front of Lily and grabbed her hand.

" Lilium your aunt was kidnapped from her birthing room along with your grandfather and uncle. My husband, my daughter, my son, and even my grandson are being blamed for an age-long hatred," Cassia murmured. Lily froze as tears poured from her grandmother's eyes. No it couldn't be, Lily had just met her only cousin the previous day; she could still see the sight of little Adonis. She could see his puckered face and chestnut eyes. She could see the blonde hair that he inherited from his father. How could this happen? Lily looked up to her grandmother with teary eyes, but before she could say anything a spell hit her back.

Lily crumbled to the ground and didn't wake. She could hear her grandmother's cry of pain in her darkness. When she woke, her arms were bound to a large tree. Lily could see the moon, in its whole glory, making a journey across the sky. She struggled against her bounds, but it didn't work.

" She's awake," someone called out. Lily looked up in fear and met the eyes of a ragged man. He wore ripped garments and had blood shot eyes. He grinned with a vicious gleam in his eyes at Lily.

" This one doesn't look like a Lilius, look at her," he commented. Another man rose from the group and grabbed Lily's chin. He wrenched her face up and Lily felt fear pound into her. His yellow teeth tore into a grin.

" This one, she's got Delphina's features. She's our old classmate's daughter. Josiah will be pleased," the man growled. He let go of Lily's face and she cowered against the tree. A sharp cry of pain broke through the woods and Lily looked around her. She just noticed that three other bodies were in a similar situation to hers. She made eye contact with a witch, which she recognized too well.

" Let her go! You've killed my son, who was only hours old. Release her she doesn't live here. She will leave and return to her family in England," the witch cried. Lily was shocked; her aunt Judea, or Professor Gladstone as she instructed Lily to call her, hated Lily. Lily thought it had something to do with the age gap between her mum and Judea. Judea was born days after her mum came to England to marry her father. Judea was raised in a household that was mourning the loss of their beloved daughter. She worked at the Athenian School of Sorcery as a Professor for older students. Her main course was using nonverbal magic and channeling magic. She was the reason Lily was in Greece. It's rather ironic that the magic gene that the Lilius family remained dormant in most males but thrived too much in the females. Judea was one of the few members of the Lilius female line to escape the gene; that left Lily and her mum as the only holders of the gene. Lily was sent to Greece since her parents couldn't stand her; they were disgusted by her displays of shame. So they carted her off to Greece to learn some control over her magic. At least that was what Lily thought back then.

" Judea Gladstone I heard about that betrothal. I took some personal pleasure in killing that son of yours. It's almost too easy to rip a baby's throat apart. I didn't even need to be a wolf to do it," a man sneered. Lily's aunt thrashed against her bindings and screamed. The man punched her across the jaw, before another man restrained him by shooting a wicked spell into his back.

" Do you have a death wish Leo? Leave the torturing to Josiah," the man growled. Lily looked over to the trees across from them. Her grandparents were tied to them and long rods stabbed their hands into the wood of the tree. She felt bile rise in her mouth and shuddered. Professor Gladstone shot her a worried look. Lily wondered how her aunt could be so strong; her son had just been killed. Lily tried to slide her hands out of her bindings but they were too tight. She struggled against the ropes silently. Her wand was sitting in a pile near the center of the trees. About ten men were standing around them. Lily looked down as a few leered at her. She didn't want to die.

Loud footsteps echoed into the clearing. Lily looked up and saw a man enter the clearing. Calling him a man was quite liberal. The being had the body of a human, but an air of animalistic passion surrounded him. Lily gulped when she saw that his nails were filed into sharp ends. The man had wicked almost yellow eyes and a head of shaggy hair. His eyes lit up with delight when he saw Lily's grandparents tied to a tree.

" After years of waiting for this gift it has arrived! It will be my utmost pleasure to rip the hearts of the last Lilius members out," the man exclaimed. He turned and grinned when he saw Professor Gladstone.

" Judea Lilius the last time I saw you, you were a wailing child. I remember one of my victims wanting you to be saved. I've got a surprise for you. Lyall please come out and greet your wife," the man declared. Lily gasped when she saw the form of her uncle Lyall Gladstone stepping from the shadows. His blonde hair was dirty and seemed almost brown. His gray eyes flickered to her figure for a mere second. They landed on Judea with a malicious twinkle.

" You bastard! They killed our son, they killed Adonis," Professor Gladstone snarled. Lily heard her uncle laugh as he walked over to her aunt. His fingers traced her neck and she pressed her head against the wood of the tree.

" Judea I always found it extremely cocky of your family to never check the family records of my family. I'm Josiah's cousin. Marrying you, having that tainted son with you was all a part of my cousin's plan to once and for all destroy the family that almost destroyed werewolves," Lyall snarled. Lily stared at him in shock; her uncle seemed so kind, how could he be a werewolf? He turned from Lily's aunt and moved to her grandmother's limp body. The other man, Josiah, turned to her grandfather with a cruel grin; his hands crossed over his chest.

" Adonis Lilius, the last heir of your family. I killed your heirs and I will kill you," Josiah growled. He looked to the moon and fell to the ground. Lily watched as his bones snapped and cracked. He screamed with pain and her uncle Lyall soon followed him. She closed her eyes; Lily couldn't watch this. She knew that the moon was transforming them into wolves. Suddenly a pair of yellow eyes seemed to finally notice Lily. The owner let out a peal of malicious laughter.

" Hello there, it's a pleasure to meet you, it'll be an even bigger pleasure to rip that heart from your body," Josiah proclaimed. He walked over to Lily, and Lily felt her magic race from her heart. It was scared; why would it be scared of some middle-aged man? Lily groaned as it tried to escape from that cage she built it. But she couldn't let it become free; Lily wasn't strong enough to control it.

" This must be very confusing for you. Let me explain something to you Lily. Your family is responsible for almost sending the werewolf species into extinction, I bet you already knew that though. Delphina was smart enough to warn you. Your mother was quite the bitch. She toyed with every single person in our school and then abandoned all of us for some charming English bastard. I think that killing you will be the perfect start for when I go to England and kill that family of yours," Josiah snarled.

He fell to the ground and fur erupted from his body. His spine cracked as he turned from a man into a wolf. Lily watched as a wolf appeared in front of her. She screamed and waited for it to pounce on her, but it didn't. The wolf let out a howl and turned to her grandfather. Its mouth opened and a howl of vicious energy escaped from it. Suddenly a pair of green eyes found Lily's; her grandfather had woken only seconds from his death. He held her gaze as the wolf lunged and ripped his throat. Lily screamed when she saw her grandfather's head fall to the ground. His body slumped and the light disappeared from his eyes. Another wolf had finished its transformation. It turned to Lily's grandmother and jumped for her chest.

It wasn't Lily's scream that ripped through the night when the wolf's claws ripped Cassia Lilius's heart from her chest; no it was Judea's. The wolf dropped the bloody mass to the floor of the forest. Lily gulped and felt bile inch up her mouth. She felt her heart almost rip in half from the pain of seeing her grandparents die. They didn't show love and affection like most people. But they gave something to Lily; they taught her how to be strong in a society of vipers. Lily never found out why they were so reluctant to share love, but a few years later she would learn about their lost son.

The wolves abandoned her grandparents' bodies. Men jumped from the forest and lit the trees holding their bodies on fire. The wolves circled Lily and Judea. Judea looked towards Lily with a crazed gleam.

" Lily you need to give it control," Judea screamed. A wolf lunged for her. But it didn't deliver a killing blow. A bright beam of fire shot at the wolf and it hit a large tree with a deadly thud. Lily wasn't in control. With her aunt's words, her magic had taken control while she was in a fragile state. It crooned with power and immediately freed Lily's body. She watched in horror as it shot flames into the forest. A large wolf with yellow eyes lunged for her. The magic raised Lily's hand and a beam of flames hit the wolf's tail. Flames surrounded her and smoke choked her air. Suddenly her magic turned to Judea. Lily screamed as it moved to shoot a ray of fire to her aunt. She shoved it away and grabbed control with a desperate expression.

Her magic reluctantly retreated back to its cage and Lily fell to the floor of the forest. She gasped for air, but there was so much smoke. She didn't save anyone; she was still going to die. Lily turned and saw her aunt wrestling with the binding of her ropes. A thin burst of relief went through Lily as her aunt freed herself from the tree. She ran to Lily and her eyes met Lily's.

" We need to leave. Josiah got away Lily, he's still out there," her aunt announced. But Lily couldn't hear her. She was losing herself to the flames. Her family was dead. Her parents abandoned her, her grandparents died. Lily was alone again. She curled up into a ball and let the flames engulf her without hope. But Lily wasn't meant to die that day. Judea grabbed the young girl and apparated with a loud pop.

When Lily woke, she was in the Magical Hospital in Athens. Judea sat near her with a sad expression. She informed Lily that her grandparents and most of the werewolves had died in that fire. The fire burned most of the forest before aurors arrived. Judea told Lily that her uncle, Lyall Gladstone was dead, and that her cousin was dead as well. Lily never saw more pain in anyone's eyes than when Judea Gladstone announced that her son was dead. She then told Lily that she was teaming up with an auror to hunt Josiah Crichton, the werewolf who had planned the entire thing, to the death. Lily felt pain fill her; she was being abandoned again. She fell asleep that night and woke the next morning. Healers informed her that Judea had already left Greece.

Lily attended the funerals for her grandparents and cousin. She then received a letter from her parents that told her that she was to go to France and live with the Auclair family. Her mum wrote in a separate letter that Lily wasn't permitted to return to England or attend any society balls. There were no condolences or sorrows. Just direct orders from two people that Lily hadn't seen in years. Her brothers didn't send anything to her. The Kingsmills saw her off to France. But no one saw Lily give up.

No one saw her choose a new life. No one was present to see her decide to never let anyone in ever again. Every person she ever loved was dead or abandoned her. She had to close her heart off from love in order to survive. Her heart was a mosaic mess that would never heal. She scarred her past. When Lily arrived to the Auclair Manor in France, she let the Auclairs become her new family. But it took them years to earn Lily's love. That's why it destroyed her when the Auclairs abandoned her like everyone else she ever loved.

Lily knew that love was too painful. Love destroyed her life and tore her heart into pieces. She was broken thanks to love. But there's a reason Lily went through so much anguish, even though she didn't know it. She was a fighter, but she was broken.

_End of Flashback_

* * *

A ragged breath pounded from Lily's lungs when she and Adam reached the entrance hall. They panted for air and hunched over. Lily opened her eyes and pushed the memory of her grandparents' deaths away. She didn't need to go back there; she wasn't strong enough. Adam glanced outside and grabbed Lily's hand.

" Teachers patrol after midnight and it's almost three in the morning. We need to get out of here and to the Gryffindor Common Room," Adam muttered. Lily nodded and followed him up the stairs. She frowned when she remembered the exchange in the forest. What happened to those animals and why were they with a werewolf? Lily swore that she recognized that stag's eyes. They looked so similar to Potter's eyes.

She and Adam entered the Gryffindor Common Room at three in the morning. Their friends were positioned around the couches in the middle of the common room. Emmeline jumped up and pulled Adam into a hug when she saw them. Marlene and Michael went over to Lily and engulfed her in a tight hug. After being embraced too many times, Lily and Adam explained that there was a werewolf in the Forbidden Forest. Frank scowled and told them that he would talk to Moody and get the meetings removed from full moons. At around four, the group split into two and went up to their dorms.

Lily fell asleep the second she hit her pillow. But she kept seeing her grandfather's head detached from his body. She kept seeing the mangled body of her dead cousin and the heart of her grandmother sitting on the ground of the forest. For years the thought that Josiah Crichton would find her or her family haunted Lily. But now she could sleep peacefully since he was dead. Yet Lily's sleep wasn't peaceful, it was far from it.

* * *

On Monday morning, Lily entered History of Magic with a tired expression. She covered her mouth her with her hand as a yawn escaped it. She didn't get much sleep on Sunday since she spent the day finishing homework and trying to plan out new feints for the Quidditch team. Her friends kept swaddling her and Adam after what happened on Sunday morning. She hated being swaddled. Lily sat in her dorm to avoid most of them. She didn't get much sleep that night. Broken memories that she tried to block out kept coming back.

During Herbology, Lily avoided Jason's hot gaze and took notes. She didn't manage to get much down since she was so tired. Marlene and Michael kept shooting her concerned glances, which she scowled at. Lily bolted from the classroom the second the bell rang. Her feet led her up to the History of Magic classroom and she entered it. Most of the students were already in the room. Lily ignored the stares she was receiving and headed towards her seat in the back. She wrinkled her nose when her eyes caught sight of Potter's form. Lily sat in the seat next to his and heard the bell ring.

She didn't even bother to take out her parchment for notes. Lily was too tired, and she knew a bit about the material they were covering that Monday. She kept her bag down and leaned forward. Her arms supplied as a pillow for her head. Lily didn't even bother to keep her hair up that morning. She closed her eyes and tried to get a few minutes of sleep. Suddenly Lily felt someone wrap his arm over her shoulders. She groaned and shoved the arm away.

" Potter I'm trying to sleep. Leave me alone," Lily mumbled. The arm returned and Lily scowled; Potter couldn't let her get some sleep, he was such a prat. Lily looked up ready to scold Potter but she stopped when she saw the anger in Potter's eyes. Her back immediately straightened and she hit the back of her chair. Her fingers removed strands of hair from her forehead and Lily turned. Potter twisted his chair and met Lily's gaze. He frowned at her face and crossed his arms.

" Evans why are you stupid enough to be in the Forbidden Forest on a bloody full moon," Potter hissed. Lily's face twisted in confusion; how did he know about that? Potter ran a hand through his hair in annoyance. His eyes were filled with anger.

" Evans don't give me that face. What were you doing with Adam McKinnon in the Forbidden Forest?" Potter seethed. Lily frowned as he grabbed her arm. Potter pulled her close to him and she shoved his hands away.

" How do you know that I was in the forest?" Lily asked. A flicker of fear shot through Potter. But he replaced it with vexation. Potter grabbed her chin and shoved it up so that her eyes met his in a heated gaze.

" Evans I think that your brother showed you that map of ours a while back. Now try and give me a valid explanation that will make me not want to lock you up in my dormitory for the next seven months," Potter growled. Lily glared at him; he had no right to demand anything from her or threaten her.

" Potter I don't belong to you yet. Those compulsion charms don't come into effect until you're of age," Lily spat. Potter let go of her and looked down at her with a frown.

" Evans why do you always do dangerous things?" Potter demanded. Lily could hear an edge of desperation in his voice. She broke eye contact with him and turned to the front of the room. Potter was still staring at her though.

" I'm a dangerous person," Lily answered. She reached into her bag and grabbed a quill and a piece of parchment. She didn't' feel like sleeping anymore. Potter ignored her for the rest of the period. He surveyed the room with a grin and winked at the girls sitting in the front row. Lily frowned and pulled her hair up into a sharp ponytail. She dipped her quill in a pot of ink and scrawled out a set of notes. Lily jumped when she felt a light pressure on her neck. She turned to Potter and saw that he was pressing his index finger against the middle of her neck. A grimace sat on his usually handsome face.

" Potter why are you touching me?" Lily asked in a quiet voice. Potter brushed a strand of hair from her neck and traced a line on her neck. Lily blushed and tried to pull away. Potter quickly reached out and grabbed her shoulders.

" Evans you're covered in scratches," Potter said with a frown. Lily touched the back of her neck and remembered how branches kept cutting into her and Adam's bodies. She knew that her neck wasn't as bad as the ruined cloak she wore that day.

" Potter I can take care of myself," Lily choked. Potter's fingers danced across her neck lightly. Lily blushed as her mind drew to a blank. She didn't want to be this intimate with Potter; she couldn't afford to do this. She shoved Potter's grip off and heard the bell ring. Lily grabbed her belongings and bolted from the room before Potter could say anything. She bumped into a body and looked up to apologize. Lily froze when she saw the furious gray eyes of Sirius Black.

" Evans watch where you're going. It's dangerous for muggleborns," Black said in a gruff tone. Lily wrinkled her nose at his condescending tone. Black watched her with a frown. He seemed to be trying to remember something. He sucked in a breath and looked at Lily's hair with a crazed gleam.

" Shit Prongs was right," Black muttered. Lily frowned at him but he bolted off to the History of Magic classroom before Lily could say anything. She turned and made her way down the corridor. Snotty glares and scowls were sent her way. But a few judgmental members of her peers didn't intimidate Lily. She dodged a hex and frowned at the direction from where it came. Dumbledore left during the first week of October. Within two weeks, the lack of his presence had become clear.

Malfoy showed a distinct favoritism for the Slytherins, in particular the Marauders. If it was possible the Marauders seemed to have more control over the students of Hogwarts. Younger students shot them looks filled with either fear or enticement, in the girls' case. Older students showed the Marauders begrudging respect, excluding the Gryffindors. Lily and her friends were some of the few students to take an open stance against Malfoy. But it was costing them.

When Lily returned to her dorm, she noticed that it was empty. Marlene and Emmeline currently had a detention with Filch for protesting the new rule that said that the usage of magic in hallways was permitted. Lily sighed and started her homework with a bitter stance. After a few hours, she packed up her stuff and grabbed her wand from her bed. Lily let her hair down and headed down to the common room. Dinner was starting in a few minutes; Lily hadn't eaten all day.

She made it to the Great Hall only minutes after the meal started. Lily could see her friends sitting in the middle of the Gryffindor table. She walked up to them and met Adam's eyes with a small smile. Lily slid in between Michael and Alice. She began eating and spoke in soft voices to her fellow Gryffindors. Lily could feel someone staring at her. She frowned; it wasn't Potter's heated gaze or Jason's concerned one. Who was looking at her? Lily turned and saw Sirius Black's eyes.

His eyes flashed with a certain curious light. Lily blushed and he noticed that she was staring at him. Black looked into her eyes and Lily felt her heart falter; there was something different about the way he was staring at her. His eyes didn't hold disgust or an air of cockiness, they held begrudging respect. It took Lily a second to realize the only reason Black wouldn't glare at her; he knew. Lily paled and turned from Black's stare. She clenched her fists under the table and pushed her food away; Lily wasn't hungry anymore.

She waited until Marlene was done eating to leave the Great Hall. Emmeline, Michael, Alice, Gideon, and Frank were going to the library. Fabian and Adam had already gone up to their dormitory. Lily walked in silence with Marlene up to their dorm. She wondered how Black found out about her. She had been so careful to cover her tracks. The only person able to tell him was Jason but Jason wouldn't have told Black. He respected Lily's decision for almost a year and Lily was certain that Jason would tell Lupin before Black.

Two hours later, Lily went down to the Entrance Hall. She had patrol with Lupin that Monday evening and they usually met up in the Entrance Hall before heading down to the dungeons for patrol. Lily frowned when she saw that Lupin wasn't alone. A head of elegant black curls stood by Lupin. Lily froze when she heard a rich peal of laughter rise from the man; she knew that laugh. It was often directed towards her when she was mocked or hexed in the hallways; it was Black's laugh.

Lupin looked up and met Lily's eyes. She tried not to flinch when his pale blue eyes met hers; Lily tried to be open minded but Lupin had tried to kill her two days ago. She didn't trust werewolves, but Remus was different. Something about him made Lily want to help him. But then she remembered that he was a death eater; the only person who could save him was himself. Lily didn't notice that Black had turned too. He was looking at her with something close to a curious light. She narrowed her eyes at him and turned to Lupin.

" Lupin why is Black here?" Lily demanded. Lupin coughed and looked down at his robes with something close to regret. Black smirked at Lupin and faced Lily. She crossed her arms and met his smug expression with a frown.

" Evans I'm hijacking this patrol. Moony is patrolling and you're coming with me," Black explained. Lily snorted and glared at him.

" Black I'm not one of your whores. I'm patrolling tonight, go to your common room before I take points," Lily ordered. Black grimaced at her answer but held his ground. He indicated for Lupin to leave, which he did. Lily gaped at Lupin who sent her an apologetic expression as he walked down to the dungeons.

" Black I'm not going anywhere with you," Lily exclaimed. She tried to move over to the staircase leading down to the dungeons, but Black blocked her path. He smirked at her and twirled his wand around his fingers.

" I don't think so Evans. Or is it Gastor?" Black replied with a devilish grin. Lily paled and took a step back. How did Sirius Black find out who she was? He saw her expression and let out a laugh. But it wasn't the cold and derogative one he usually had around her, it was rich and seemed to echo across the hall. Lily grabbed Black's hand and pulled him to a corner. She glared at his smug expression.

"So Jason told you?" Lily asked. Black raised his head and his curls toppled over his shoulder. He had a mischievous expression and crossed his arms.

" No I took a guess and you just verified my answer," Black answered. Lily ran a hand through her hair and scowled at Black's face. He was too stupid and narcissistic to figure out her secret. Black leaned in and smirked at Lily.

" I've known Jason for almost seven years. I've met his mum more than once Lily and you look too much like her," Black explained. Lily gulped and crossed her arms over her chest. It was her hair that gave her away; but that didn't explain how Black took so long to realize it.

" Mrs. Gastor always did this thing with her nose when she was mad at Jason. Back in the hallway you did it and everything sort of clicked. It explains why Jason and his brothers were almost stalking you last year. It explains why Jason mopes around whenever he sees you. But two things don't make any sense; where were you for the last six years and where does James come into the picture," Black demanded. Lily rubbed her arms and met his eyes with a sad expression.

"My family may look perfect but it has its secrets. When I was nine my parents sent me to Greece to live with my mum's parents until they died when I was twelve. Then I lived with my godfather in France until I learned about my parents' deaths. I don't exactly agree with the views my family had on muggles so I took a muggleborn persona when I came here," Lily answered reluctantly. She preferred for Black to get answers from her rather than Jason. Black indicated for her to continue. Lily sighed and looked at her shoes.

" Potter and I have the same situation that you and Marlene have," Lily mumbled. She heard silence and looked up. Black was staring at her with confusion. A groan escaped Lily's mouth and she clenched her fists.

" Are you really that daft Black? Potter and I are stuck in a pureblood betrothal," Lily exclaimed. Realization lit up in Black's eyes and he met her angered eyes with a sardonic grin.

" So you're the future Mrs. James Potter?" Black asked. Lily frowned at him and reached for her wand; Black really did deserve a hex or two.

" It's a mystery how you even passed your OWLS," Lily said in a dry voice. Black grinned at her; it wasn't his usual one filled with a sneer or scoff. His smile seemed almost sincere. Lily bit her lip and averted her eyes from him. She didn't want Black to suddenly accept her since she was a pureblood. That was worse than him discriminating her for being a muggleborn.

" I got an O on the Transfiguration Owl Eva-, wait should I call you Gastor now?" Black asked. Lily snorted at him and checked her watch; her patrol time was almost over.

" Black I'm not a Gastor anymore. I'm Lily Evans until the day Potter forces me down that aisle to get married," Lily answered. Black grabbed her hand and she turned. Her eyes flashed with anger for a moment.

" Why would you want to be a muggleborn?" Black asked. His face puckered up in confusion at the idea of someone wanting to be something as vile as a muggleborn. Lily rolled her eyes and pulled her hand out of his.

" There's more to life than boring parties and being an arse Black," Lily answered. Black met her eyes with a sneer.

" You're a blood traitor Lily, there isn't any greater disgrace a pureblood can do," Black snapped. Lily met his eyes in a stubborn gaze. Black didn't understand; he was so bigoted and prejudiced that his impartiality was clouded. It broke Lily's heart to know that her brother and Potter were just like him.

" Why do you care Black? I'm not a blood traitor, I haven't been a Gastor in years," Lily shot back. Black snorted and his curls bounced on his shoulders. He moved closer to Lily and she stood her ground. Black looked down at her and she glared up at him.

" Evans you're going to marry my best mate. Whether you like it or not, you're a pureblood. You can't just say something for it to be true! You are a Gastor and when you marry Prongs you will be a Potter," Black hissed. Lily pulled back from him with a frown.

" Blood doesn't mean anything Black! Being a pureblood, half-blood, or muggleborn has no relevance to the person someone is. I know purebloods that sit in their manors counting their money and doing utter shite. Then there are muggleborns who could be Healers and even Minister of Magic but thanks to some snotty wizard whose family has been known for over a bloody century they can never live up to their capabilities," Lily shouted. Her voice echoed across the Hall and her eyes lit up with passion. Black and all the other purists had to realize that blood doesn't define a person; what they are capable of and their actions define them.

" Evans you're wrong. Muggles don't deserve magic; muggleborns shouldn't exist. They steal magic from purebloods. They're nothing but vermin," Black spat. Lily almost burst into laughter at his declaration. He actually bought that bullshit. How could people actually believe that muggles were stealing magic from wizards?

" You're wrong Black and one day you'll wake up and realize that. It could be tomorrow or in twenty years when you think about how many innocent lives you've took, but you will realize that every single person you've killed never deserved it," Lily growled. Black let out a cold laugh and moved back. His feet seemed to almost dance across the floor of the hall.

" Evans you need to get off your high horse. Do you think that James will let you be this radical when you're married? Evans you're so idiotic; within five years you'll be sitting in the Potter Manor with your and James's child," Black announced. Lily paled and her lip trembled slightly; she didn't like to think about her past or even her future. Lily had to live in the present; otherwise she would never make it through a day. Black noticed her weakness and advanced on her.

" By seventh year you'll be wearing an engagement ring with the Potter crest on it. Before the winter after graduation you'll be wearing a wedding ring and living in the Potter Manor with James. In three years you'll be pregnant with James's child," Black professed. Lily wrapped her arms around her chest. Every word that came from Black's mouth ripped the prison she kept around her emotions more.

" Evans by all means continue this muggleborn routine of yours. I can assure you that it will be a good memory for us to laugh at in five years," Black jeered. Lily frowned and lifted her head. She met Black's eyes and glared with so much hatred. She never thought that she could hate someone as much as she hated Josiah Crichton, but Black was slowly competing with him.

" You're wrong Black. There's a way out of a betrothal and I'd rather die trying to find it than marry Potter," Lily snarled. Black's face contorted with rage for a second. He moved towards Lily and towered over her with a furious expression. His fingers grabbed her chin and pulled it up with a sharp tug.

" Go ahead and try. The more you fight it, the stronger the compulsion charms will get. I'm going to enjoy watching you jump on James whenever you see him," Black replied. Lily felt his fingers tighten around her chin. She felt a flicker of pain enter her eyes as Black clenched his fingers around her chin in a tighter hold.

" But Evans if I see either James or Jason come to my dorm with a pained expression again I will personally blacklist you. I will turn you into a social pariah and you will be tortured so badly that you'll be counting the days until James's birthday with relief," Black snarled. Lily felt a pang of fear enter her at Black's comment. When the Marauders blacklisted students it didn't take more than two weeks before those students left Hogwarts from the horrible bullying. But Lily was stronger than her classmates. She endured the standard bigotry for being muggleborn with grace. Black's comment didn't scare her.

" I'm not afraid of you Black. You try to hide your feelings under a mask of chaos but we both know that if Marlene was able to leave you, she would probably sell her soul to do so," Lily jeered. Black's eyes lit up with hatred and he shoved Lily against the wall behind her.

" Well it's convenient that McKinnon will belong to me in less than three months then," Black growled. He let go of Lily and she hunched over. Black stood above her with a disdained expression and she met his stare with a glare.

" Black there's a tongue tying spell on my secret," Lily warned. Black raised his eyebrow at her with a devilish gleam.

" It's a good thing that I have no plans to tell anyone about who you really are then. I love the suspense of a good lie falling apart," Black finished. He walked away from Lily without a glance back. But his threat hung in the air like a fog. Lily knew that she couldn't afford to drag any more attention to herself; she had to play by Black's rules so that people wouldn't get suspicious.

* * *

" Class please settle down! I've got a treat for you today. We will be studying the Potion Amortentia," Slughorn announced. Lily rolled her eyes at the announcement of the potion. She wasn't really fond of the supposed Love Potion. During her stay at Beauxabatons, a few of her roommates always tried to slip Benjy some and faced his wrath. Thanks to his dad being the Head of the Magical Law Enforcement Department, he could sniff out Amortentia from a mile away. Lily hated watching him punish those girls. Her heart pounded at the memory.

" Miss Evans will you be joining us?" Slughorn called out. Lily blinked and looked up; the entire class was standing around the large table located in the front of the room. Cressida and Cecilia laughed at Lily and she blushed. Lily nodded and stood. She made her way over to the table and slid into the first available spot. Slughorn's demo table was a mess of potions ingredients and vials. Lily always thought it was a safety hazard. In the center of the table was a large cauldron filled with a potion.

The liquid had a mother-of-pearl sheen with spirals of smoke arising from it. Lily was too far from it to get a closer look and Slughorn quickly kept a lid on the potion. He rubbed his hands together with a maniacal grin. Lily met his eyes and immediately moved back. She hit a solid surface and felt the vibrations of someone's heart from behind her. Lily turned to apologize, but faltered when she met Potter's eyes. He didn't even look down at her; instead his arms wrapped around her waist in a vine-like grip below the top of the table. Lily moved to shove his arms away but a pair of stormy-gray eyes made her stop. Black was watching her with a hawk-like expression. A memory of the previous night flashed in Lily's mind. Black knew who she was and Lily couldn't risk anything.

Lily gulped and turned away from Potter's front. Due to the compact area around the table, no one saw that Potter was holding her. It looked as if he was simply standing behind her. But for Lily that was different, she could feel Potter's fingers drumming a rhythm against her hip. She couldn't fight him though; Lily couldn't risk Black's reaction. She tried to ignore Potter but Lily had a feeling that Potter was smiling from behind her.

" Amortentia is a potion that forces a powerful infatuation on the drinker. If it is made by a skilled potioner, the level of infatuation can range from puppy-love to a strong Aphrodisiac," Slughorn declared. Lily blushed at his tone and bit her lip. Low giggles formed from the area where a group of Ravenclaw girls were located. Lily could feel Potter smirking against the tip of her hair. She leaned forward in a mock attempt to get a closer look at the potion. But in reality, Lily was just trying to move from Potter. Whenever Lily was close to him she felt as though her mind was lulled into a comforted state. But when they kissed, well Lily felt as though lightning was hitting her soul.

" We won't be making this potion until next year due to the complex process of making it. Today I wanted to have an experiment though. One of the qualities of Amortentia is the scent is unique to each person. I will levitate the cauldron to each of you. You will then describe the scents you smell," Slughorn announced. Lily watched as he passed the cauldron over to the Ravenclaws first. She scoffed as one said that the potions smelled like the cologne of a boy in the room. After the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws went, the potion was handed over to Michael. Lily bit her lip when she saw his pained expression when someone jostled his side. Her eyes hit the white bandages peaking from under his shirt with concern.

" I smell the wood of a broom, freshly cut grass, and err someone's perfume," Michael announced. A few Ravenclaw girls batted their eyes at him and giggled. Lily blushed when his eyes jumped to her figure for a moment. She bit her lips and looked down. Potter's grip tightened on her waist. Lily scowled when she realized that Potter didn't miss the exchange between her and Michael.

Slughorn then levitated the cauldron over to Lupin. Lupin looked pale and almost ill. Lily didn't notice the bandage peeking out of his arm on the previous day. She wobbled on her feet and hit Potter's chest. Lily heard him let out a low grunt of pain that only she heard. Lily blushed and moved away. But she felt something like a bandage on Potter's torso. Lily wondered why Potter was wearing a bandage.

" The pages of an old book, pine, and I think muggle bubble gum," Lupin declared. Lily saw Black shove him with a grin and frowned. How did Lupin know what muggle bubble gum smelt like? Lupin passed the cauldron over to Jason. Jason's gold eyes scrunched up as he inhaled the potion.

" Something like the woods, my mum's homemade cauldron cakes, and something floral," Jason muttered. Lily's teeth ripped against her lip when she heard this. Her mum only made cauldron cakes when her brothers came home from Hogwarts during the Christmas, Easter, and Summer Holidays. Lily wondered if she continued the tradition after Lily left. She felt Potter pull her closer and for once Lily was thankful for his presence. His presence seemed to battle the waves of melancholy sadness away. The class was quiet when Jason mentioned his mum; all of them had heard about the Gastor parents' deaths more than once.

" Right then. Thank you Mr. Gastor," Slughorn said in an attempt to get rid of the glum mood. He levitated the cauldron to Marlene who frowned when she inhaled the potion.

" Treacle Tart, mint, and someone's cologne," Marlene coughed. Lily frowned at Marlene who looked up at her. Lily knew from that one look that Marlene hadn't smelt Fabian's cologne or even Adam's; she smelt Black's. Lily sent her a comforting look before the potion was passed to Black. He grinned and looked up with a wicked expression.

" Oak, motorcycle oil, and McKinnon's perfume," Black declared. Lily could feel the waves of embarrassment radiating off of Marlene. Several of the Ravenclaw girls shot Marlene snobbish glares. Lily scowled at them and Black. The potion was passed over to her. Lily moved to smell it, but Potter beat her. He moved one of his hands from her waist and landed to her left side. His eyes twinkled as he huffed one of the spirals.

" Something musky like the forest, morning dew, and some type of pomegranate and strawberry mixture," Potter announced. Several girls narrowed their eyes as they debated the scent of their potion. Lily blushed when she remembered that she used strawberry scented shampoo and conditioner. She could understand the dew part; Potter ran during dawn so he must like the traditional morning scent. Lily was confused that all of the Marauders like woody scents. She could understand Jason since their house was located in the middle of a forest, but the others didn't make any sense.

The cauldron was levitated over to her. Lily moved closer to the table and Potter pulled back so he was behind her. Lily leaned over and inhaled the potion. She felt a delirium come over her for a moment. She frowned at one of the scents coming out of the potion as she leaned up. The class was watching her with expectant eyes. Lily brushed some hair from her forehead and felt a light blush cover her cheeks. She cleared her throat and moved to speak.

" Salty ocean air, old sheet music, and I think green apples," Lily revealed. She felt people staring at her. Lily looked down and crossed her arms. She didn't understand why she smelt Potter's musky green apple scent along with the scents that she treasured from her past. Lily felt Potter wrap his arms around her as Slughorn lectured the class on the ingredients found in Amortentia. He almost bounced with an air of delight. Lily wanted nothing more than to crawl into a closet and die. From the looks Jason and Black were sending her, she was seriously considering it.

When the class ended, Lily pulled her body out of Potter's hold and grabbed her bag from her seat. She quickly made her way to the door and scurried out of the classroom so she didn't have to see Potter's smug expression. Lily made it to the DADA classroom minutes before anyone else arrived. She waited for the third years to leave the classroom as she entered it. Lily took a seat in the front row where she and Marlene usually sat. She pulled out her notes and homework. Lily heard the bell ring when she finished reviewing the essay Professor Gladstone assigned for homework.

" Class has begun Mr. Black please take a seat," Professor Gladstone called out. Marlene and Michael sat on either sides of Lily. But that didn't offer much protection against Potter's stare. Lily could feel his eyes latched on her figure from his seat in the back row. She ignored it and shoved her hair into a ponytail as Professor Gladstone collected their essays.

" Today will be a quick practical review of the disarming charm. Please get into pairs to practice the spell," Professor Gladstone declared. Lily and Michael paired up and Marlene worked with one of the Ravenclaw girls. Professor Gladstone cleared the desks from the room and indicated for them to start practice. Lily dropped her cloak by her bag and walked with Michael over to the empty space in the middle of the room. She lifted her wand and Michael copied her.

" Expelliarmus," Michael shouted. Lily moved to use a quick shield charm but stopped when she realized that the reflection of the disarming charm would hurt Michael. Her wand flew from her hand and her body flew back. She hit the ground with a thud. Lily could hear the laughter of Cressida Zabini and Melissa Davies as she stood. Michael pursed his lips at her and she grabbed her wand from him.

" Expelliarmus," Lily said. Her wand rose sloppily into the air and used a tabbing motion instead of the curl. The result was a weak spell that died out before it even hit Michael. He narrowed his eyes at Lily. She bit her lip and heard someone clear her throat.

" Miss Evans please try and actually hit Mr. Wood," Professor Gladstone ordered. Lily felt people turn to her and Michael. She blushed and kept her eyes down. Michael took his wand out and Lily pointed hers at him. She used another sloppy spell and Professor Gladstone interrupted them.

" Five points from Gryffindor. Miss Evans why is it that you feel the need to only put effort into things when it is required?" Professor Gladstone asked. The class became silent as people turned to watch Professor Gladstone and Lily face off. They didn't understand why Lily narrowed her eyes at the teacher. Lily knew that there was a hidden reference to her grandparents' deaths in that statement. Professor Gladstone hated her since if Lily had acted faster or had more control of her magic then she could have saved Lily's grandparents. What Professor Gladstone didn't know was that Lily lived with the reminder everyday. She couldn't forget how her grandfather's head severed from his body. She couldn't forget the sight of her grandmother's heart on the ground of a forest. If Lily had been more serious about her lessons with Professor Gladstone then she could have saved them. But she wasn't strong enough; and Lily lashed out at Professor Gladstone.

" I did put effort into my performance," Lily argued. They both knew that she was lying. When Lily started her lessons with Professor Gladstone she was a spoilt little girl who didn't know the meaning of strife. But things had changed since then. Lily wasn't an innocent brat anymore; she knew pain almost as much as Judea.

" That's rubbish. If you kept any effort into your spell then it would have actually hit Mr. Wood," Professor Gladstone declared. Lily narrowed her eyes at the hateful woman. She didn't understand the pain of losing a child, but Lily didn't think it was right of Professor Gladstone to push all of her hatred on her.

" Professor it takes effort to try and not hit someone," Lily explained. Professor Gladstone raised her jaw in a demanding way. Lily looked towards Michael who looked almost embarrassed.

" But was that the purpose of this activity?" Professor Gladstone demanded. Lily scowled and wrinkled her nose at the bitter lady.

" No but I don't want to hurt Michael," Lily muttered. She looked down and felt his hot gaze on her.

" So now you're compassionate towards this dying boy. But when your own family was dying you couldn't bother to do anything," Professor Gladstone spat. Lily couldn't take this anymore. She looked up into Professor Gladstone's eyes with a furious gleam. Her magic pounded at the roof of its prison but Lily didn't lose control. She was in control.

" You are such a hypocrite. It would take an idiot to not realize that she is married to a werewolf. It's your fault that they're dead. You killed your own son with your stupid obsession with proving something to them. You'll never be the daughter that she was," Lily exclaimed. Her magic wrapped around the veins in her body and twisted with joy at her outburst. It was waiting for a moment of weakness so it could take control; but Lily wasn't going to lose control.

Professor Gladstone met Lily's eyes with a furious stare. Lily flinched when the lights in the room exploded. Several of her classmates called out in shock. Lily swallowed the bile in her throat; it would take a lot of anger from Professor Gladstone for her to lose control. Her chestnut eyes were warped with pain and anger. Her fingers clenched around the base of her wand in fury.

" I'm more than she could ever be. She got my brother killed and ruined my family. She didn't even stay for his funeral! The minute she found an escape she took it and never looked back. I lived with her brokenhearted parents. She wasn't the perfect child, I am the perfect daughter!" Professor Gladstone shouted. Lily scoffed at this.

" You were the reason they died! You've blamed me for three years and it isn't even my fault that they died. I saved you from dying, you should be grateful," Lily proclaimed. Michael edged away from the two witches. Lily heard someone shout to get the Headmaster. But she didn't care.

" You're just like her. They absolutely adored perfect little Lily. I named my son for him and he didn't give a damn. They spent their last moments trapped in the misery that your mother stuck them in," Professor Gladstone spat. Something in Lily snapped at this. She narrowed her eyes and dropped her wand ready to jump on Professor Gladstone, but something, her last shred of self-control, kept her from doing so.

" You took out your issues with my mum on me for three years instead of showing some compassion or even love. It's not my fault that no one, not even your parents loved you," Lily yelled. She regretted the words immediately. Professor Gladstone's face crumpled with pure pain. But it quickly turned to hatred.

" See, you're as selfish as her. She didn't deserve anything she got. She didn't deserve her family, her husband, and her children. Well maybe she deserved to have the disgrace that you are," Professor Gladstone exclaimed. Lily felt time almost stop to a complete stop at the woman's cruel words. Her mum was more than she could ever be; yet people felt the need to constantly remind her of it.

" The only purpose in your life was killing the person that killed your own parents. And you couldn't even do that right! It took you three years to kill the bloke and that was with your partner's dead," Lily shouted. Professor Gladstone's face remained impassive, but she raised her wand to Lily.

A spell shot from her wand and moved towards Lily. Her green eyes widened in horror as the spell inched towards her; Lily dropped her wand. She was defenseless to the attack. Lily closed her eyes just as the spell raced towards her. She braced her body for a sharp pain. Suddenly someone hurled his body at Lily. She was shoved to the ground by a large streak of gold. Lily heard a scream and opened her eyes. Her eyes widened at the sight of Jason's bleeding body. Lily scrambled towards him and the rest of the class came into view.

She could see the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff girls watching the scene with minds ready to spread the gossip. Marlene was holding Michael back and the Slytherins were rushing over to her and Jason. His body landed on his side. Lily turned him over and saw that the spell hit his right arm. His blood stained her clothing and his. Lily paled when she saw that his eyes were closed.

" Jace wake up! Wake up," Lily whispered. She ripped the sleeve off his shirt and used the hem of her shirt to clear the blood away from his cut. A large slice ripped the skin of his arm open. It traveled from his elbow to the edge of his wrist in a cruel twist. Lily felt someone grab her from behind and turned. Potter was pulled her up but she refused to move. He leaned in and his lips brushed the top of her hair.

" Lily, Remus went to get the Headmaster. I think you should get away from Jason to avert suspicion," Potter murmured. Lily knew he was right and slumped in his hold. Potter pulled her up and they stood over Jason's body. Black and Marlene were hunched over him trying to stop the bleeding. Lily fell into Potter's hold and he wrapped his arms around her back. She lifted her head and saw Professor Gladstone standing across the room with a shocked expression. Lily suddenly shoved Potter off her body and walked over to Professor Gladstone.

" He doesn't know that you're our mum's sister. I'll make sure to keep it that way. You need to leave and do not come back. You've done enough damage," Lily hissed. Professor Gladstone's eyes were transfixed on Jason's limp body.

Lily saw the woman's lips tremble; she clenched her hands. She didn't have a right to cry over Jason; Lily didn't have a right to cry over Jason. Jason, the brother she tried over and over again to get rid of. He wasn't a coward; Jason was brave. Suddenly the door to the room burst open. Lily watched as Abraxas Malfoy entered. Behind him was Lupin and Madame Pomfrey. The matron flew down to Jason's side and batted Black and Marlene away. Malfoy's eyes narrowed at the sight of Jason's body.

Potter quickly walked up to Lily and pulled her body into his arms. She didn't protest when Malfoy looked over to them with a curious expression. Potter cleared his throat and his grip tightened around Lily's body. Lily was grateful for Potter's calming presence, for once in a very long time.

" Professor Gladstone what happened here?" Malfoy barked. Lily gulped as the teacher looked up. Her eyes were filled with regret. Lily knew that deep down inside of Professor Gladstone's bitter soul was a piece of regret. Jason wasn't just her student; he was her nephew.

" It's my fault Sir. I was teaching my students defensive techniques and got caught up in the moment. Mr. Gastor was hit by a slicing hex," Professor Gladstone explained. Malfoy's eyes narrowed and he turned to face the students. His eyes widened when they saw Black and Marlene standing near each other, close enough to touch. They traveled over the room and sneered at the sight of Michael. Finally, Malfoy's cold blue eyes landed on Potter's form. They narrowed when he saw Lily in Potter's arms.

" Mr. Potter is what Professor Gladstone said true?" Malfoy demanded. Potter straightened his back from behind Lily. She felt him tuck her farther into his arms.

" Yes Professor Malfoy it is true. Professor Gladstone used dark magic on my mate," Potter growled. Malfoy nodded and his eyes turned to Jason's figure. He sighed and watched as Madam Pomfrey carted Jason's body from the room. Lily's fellow classmates stood in a large group near the doorway.

" Professor Evans was involved! She kept egging Professor Gladstone on," Cressida exclaimed. Potter's grip tightened on Lily's waist as Malfoy looked over at her. She met his eyes with a fierce stare.

" Twenty points from Gryffindor and a week of detention with me Miss Evans. As for you Judea, I'll have to contact the aurors and you'll be tried in front of the Wizengamot for assaulting a student," Malfoy declared. Lily let out a breath of relief when he didn't question her. She didn't know if she was able to tell any more lies.

" The rest of you report to the Great Hall for lunch. This event will not reach the ears of any other students in the castle, unless you lot want to be suspended. As far as anyone knows, Mr. Gastor slipped on the stairs," Malfoy professed. The other members of the class nodded and began to trickle out of the classroom. Potter led Lily over to their belongings and picked them up. He wrapped his free arm around her and coaxed her over to the doorway.

" Mr. Potter isn't it a little beneath you to be assisting muggleborns?" Malfoy asked. Potter froze from behind Lily and she watched as he turned to face Malfoy.

" In six months you'll be saying that my actions today were chivalrous," Potter answered. He promptly turned and guided Lily out of the room.

Lily closed her eyes and let Potter's comforting presence soothe her worries away. He was leading her somewhere, but Lily didn't care; Potter wouldn't try anything. She kept seeing Jason's limp body in her mind and knew that image would join her nightmares. Lily was a fool for trying to trick herself into thinking that Jason wasn't a part of her life anymore. As long as they would live, Jason would always be the golden boy who woke Lily from her nightmares and stayed with her until the morning.

Lily felt her body being shoved into a sitting position. She opened her eyes and saw that Potter had taken her to the sixth year Slytherin dormitory. He threw their bags by his bedside table and coaxed her into lying on his bed. Lily leaned up and met his shoulder with a silent cry for comfort. Potter tucked her under his covers and moved to the other side of her. His arms pulled her into his lap and he held her close. Lily didn't notice that he was doing this not only to comfort her, but himself too.

" Lils it's alright, Jason will be fine," Potter soothed. Lily groaned and shoved her face into his shoulder. She felt Potter drape his duvet over their bodies and leaned in his embrace. He rubbed her back and traced patterns across it with a soothing grace.

" How much of that fight did you understand?" Lily asked. She looked up and met Potter's eyes. Her face was only centimeters from the surface of his shirt. He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. A sad smile graced his features and he pulled Lily closer.

" Not enough. All I got is that you and Professor Gladstone have some bad history and that she was married to a werewolf," Potter explained. Lily sighed and knew that she owed him some sort of explanation. With Potter's arms cradling her in a pacifying embrace, Lily told him about her life in Greece back when her grandparents were alive. Lily told him that Professor Gladstone was Jason's and her aunt, but most of her family wasn't aware about her. She told Potter that Judea was born right around the time her mum left for England. She told Potter about the hatred the woman held for her.

" She married this aristocratic pureblood named Lyall Gladstone. She did it for my grandparents though; I doubt she even liked the bloke. Turns out that she never realized that her own husband was a werewolf," Lily spat. Potter frowned when she said werewolf. He froze and looked unto her eyes with a question.

" Is there a problem with werewolves?" Potter demanded. Lily frowned but answered his abrupt question. There was a layer of loyalty twisted into his words.

" Potter I couldn't care about werewolves if they don't kill and harm anyone. But Lyall Gladstone ripped his own son's throat off since he was my aunt's son. His cousin killed my grandparents since my mum's family discovered a way to stun werewolves a few centuries ago," Lily explained. Potter relaxed at her nonjudgmental answer. He pulled her flush against his chest and Lily's face was level with his. She could see the small birthmark by his jaw and the swirls in his eyes. Potter's mouth spread in a light smile and Lily felt him shove her entire body on his. She ended up straddling him with her knees on either sides of him. Their chests were pressed against each other and Lily felt at peace. Potter's fingers played with her hair and tightened around her waist.

When Lily finished explaining everything to Potter, he leaned against the headboard of his bed and turned his head towards the ceiling of the room. Lily could see his Adam's apple bobbling as he processed all of this information.

"So telling Jason is out of the question?" Potter asked. Lily nodded. Jason would be heartbroken to know that another family member had abandoned him. It was better for her brother not to know about their mum's family. Potter nodded and cleared his throat.

" We've got Transfiguration in ten minutes," Potter announced. Lily sighed and tried to move off him. But Potter grabbed her hips and pulled her back towards him with a smirk. Look now Potter the arse had finally made an appearance. Lily wrinkled her nose as he toyed with the knot of her tie.

" Potter we've got class," Lily groaned. He smirked at her ruffled appearance and pulled her hips against his. Lily was forced to glare up at his cocky expression.

" It's a good thing that Sirius managed to get Pomfrey to give both of us passes out of Transfiguration then," Potter responded. Lily met his smug expression with a stern one.

" Potter I'm fine. I don't think I can afford to miss anymore Transfiguration classes, I got an Acceptable on my last essay," Lily admitted with a wry expression. Potter turned his body so that he was resting on his side. He pulled Lily against his chest and his legs laced in between hers.

"I've been waiting for you to make some standard Gastor comment. An Acceptable oh the horror! Now all the family ghosts will haunt you,' Potter teased. Lily blushed and looked down. Of course Potter wouldn't understand; he was practically a genius. Lily had seen him at the OWLs; he finished the written exam for Transfiguration in less than an hour! Potter pulled her chin up gently and Lily grimaced when he touched one of the bruises leftover from her run in with Black.

" Evans if it's that much of an issue, I'll tutor you next year. Think about it, for every hour you give me a good snog," Potter replied. Lily shot him a glare and his fingers danced across the surface of under her chin. Lily tried to repress the flickers of pain in her eyes when Potter touched her skin. He saw one and frowned. Their previous discussion was forgotten as he pulled Lily's body up and titled her head back. Lily gulped when he narrowed his eyes at her bruised chin.

" Who did this?" Potter hissed. Lily tried to pull her chin from his hold, but he didn't let her. Potter wrapped his arms in a cage around her. He shoved her to his body and looked at her with an expecting face. Lily sighed and met his eyes in a reluctant stare.

" Black knows now. You can go and gossip about me with him," Lily said suddenly. Potter sucked in a breath and his eyes filled with a hidden pain. Lily moved her hand up and touched his chest soothingly. Potter closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Lily's. She could feel their hearts pounding against their chests as though they were cages.

" Did Sirius do this to you?" Potter demanded. Lily frowned and tugged her chin out of his hold. Only a few minutes ago, Potter was being sweet and so kind. Now he was back to the possessive and overprotective arse mood.

" It's none of your business who touched me," Lily snapped. Potter narrowed his eyes and snorted. He ran a hand through his hair and glared at Lily.

" Every time I leave you out of my sight, you get hurt. Lily I can't respect your privacy if you spend your weekends prancing around the Forbidden Forest with Adam McKinnon during a full moon," Potter exclaimed. Lily snorted and heard the jealous tone in his voice.

" Potter Adam is betrothed to Emmeline, not to mention head over heels in love with her. He's like a brother to me. And if I want to I could get up right now and drown myself in the Black Lake and there is nothing you can do about it," Lily argued. Potter's eyes lit up with fear and his grip loosened on Lily. She took the opportunity to shove him away and scramble out of Potter's bed. She grabbed her bag and cloak from Potter's floor and walked across the dormitory. Lily's hand stretched out to open the door, when a spell hit her. She immediately slumped and lost control of her limbs. Lily's body flew out towards the ground. She dropped her bag to the ground and soon followed it. A pair of arms yanked her up and threw her body over the owner's shoulder. Lily couldn't move so instead she breathed in protest. Suddenly her body was flung on Potter's bed and he looked down at her with a smirk. Lily scowled at him and he laughed at her expression. After Potter summoned her bag, he threw it on the ground near his and sat next to her.

" Evans I can't let you go now. You just threatened to kill my soon to be property so I've got to make sure that you don't," Potter professed. Lily wanted to claw that arrogant smirk from his face.

" Lily don't give me that face. I'm protecting what belongs to me," Potter stated. He pulled his green duvet over Lily and adjusted pillow beneath her head. Lily stared at him and he sighed. Potter grabbed his wand and shot a spell at Lily. She stared at him with an expectant expression. Potter smiled at her fondly and moved his hand through her hair.

" You can speak now. Don't make me take this back," Potter warned.

" Why are you so possessive?" Lily asked. Potter met her eyes and smiled at her like parents did. She hated when Potter looked at her that way. It felt so derogatory.

" Lily I'm not being possessive. I'm just protecting what belongs to me," Potter explained.

" I don't belong to you, at least not yet," Lily mumbled. Potter's eyes flashed as he stood up.

" I'm doing you a favor Lily. Try and get some sleep," Potter answered. He leaned over her and pulled her shoes and tie off. Potter tucked the blanket over her chin and pressed a kiss to her cheek. Lily didn't like the way his mouth was too close to hers. He pulled back and closed the curtains around his bed. Lily frowned when she heard his footsteps and the sound of a door closing. She tried to move, but Potter's spell was too powerful. Lily twisted her head against the pillows and inhaled the scent of green apples and rugged earth. Her eyes slowly closed and she fell asleep. This routine of falling asleep in Potter's bed was becoming too familiar.

* * *

Lily bit her lip as she entered the room Malfoy had been assigned to. Since the Headmaster's office wouldn't open, Malfoy was forced to use a spare classroom as his office. The room was decorated in lavish furniture, including several Malfoy family heirlooms. Lily could see a gilded cane by Malfoy's desk.

" Miss Evans you're late," Malfoy said in dry tone. Lily ducked her head and mumbled an apology. She didn't like the way Malfoy looked at her with an all-knowing expression. Lily walked over to the shabby desk placed in front of Malfoy's desk. He smirked at her and pulled out a piece of parchment from his desk. He placed it on her desk and took out a long quill from his pocket.

" Before we begin I have a few questions for you," Malfoy declared. Lily met his eyes and nodded. Malfoy stood and clapped his hands together. He moved behind his desk and indicated for Lily to sit; she didn't. He pressed his lips together and poured a cup of tea. He handed the cup to Lily and indicated for her to take a sip. Lily raised an eyebrow and let the steam of the liquid hit her nose. She couldn't smell any poisons or potions in it. Lily took a sip and Malfoy smiled viciously.

" Miss Evans do you know the location of Albus Dumbledore?" Malfoy asked. Lily frowned at his question and placed her empty cup down. Malfoy moved to pour another one and handed it to her. Now Lily was getting suspicious.

" No all I know is that he is out of the country for some research," Lily answered. She widened her eyes; Lily didn't mean to say that. She groaned internally and realized that Malfoy spiked her potion with Veritaserum.

" Do you know anything about an organization called the Order of the Phoenix?" Malfoy demanded. Lily bit her tongue to keep from spilling the answer. She knew how to resist Veritaserum thanks to her internship in the French Auror Department; Lily could do this. She took a deep breath and met Malfoy's eyes with a curious expression.

" No but it sounds like some bird-watching club," Lily answered. Malfoy nodded and filled another cup with tea. He handed it to Lily and she took a swing of the liquid. It would look suspicious if she stopped drinking it. It was too late to stop; Lily would have to trust her abilities to resist the truth serum.

" How do you know Professor Gladstone?" Malfoy demanded. Lily knew that at least one of the Slytherins must have split the story to Malfoy; she was trapped. Lily leaned against the back of the student desk and met Malfoy's eyes.

" She used to teach at the school I attended in Greece. I left for Beauxabatons around the same time when she quit," Lily replied. Malfoy narrowed his eyes and caught Lily's bluff.

" I was unaware that you lived in Greece," Malfoy sneered. Lily nodded and tried to pull a convincing lie.

" My dad used to work with the Muggle United Nations so we moved a lot," Lily answered.

" Used to?" Malfoy asked. Lily narrowed her eyes at his demanding tone. She cleared her throat and tugged on the hem of her shirt.

" He died in a death eater massacre last year," Lily stated in a quiet voice. That part was true though. Her biological father and her godfather both died in death eater attacks. Malfoy's eyes twinkled in amusement and he nodded.

" What is your relationship with Mr. Potter?" Malfoy asked. Lily crossed her arms and met his stare with a fierce one of her own. She wrinkled her nose and Malfoy narrowed his eyes.

" I highly doubt that is relevant to the questions you're asking," Lily replied, Malfoy cleared his throat and a light blush rose to his skin. He denoted for Lily to sit.

" Miss Evans I'm merely looking out for Mr. Potter. His parents died last year and he refused to accept anyone's offer to be his guardian," Malfoy shrugged. Lily frowned; she didn't know that Potter didn't have a guardian. Since there was less than a year until he comes of age, it was allowed. But why wouldn't he let anyone be his guardian? Malfoy smirked at Lily and checked his watch. He indicated for her to sit.

" You'll be writing lines today. Write I will not tell lies 100 times," Malfoy barked. Lily narrowed her eyes at his open sneer. She took a seat and grabbed the quill off the desk.

" Professor there's no ink," Lily announced. Malfoy smiled evilly and cleared his throat as he sat in his chair.

" You won't need ink for this activity," Malfoy declared. Lily nodded and pressed the quill against the paper. The sharp tip scratched the surface of the paper as she scrawled out the sentence. A heated pain suddenly grew from her hand. Lily hissed and looked at her hand. Etched into her skin were the first three words of the sentence. She looked up at Malfoy and he smiled at her.

" Is there a problem Miss Evans?" Malfoy asked. Lily narrowed her eyes and met his eyes. She rolled her sleeve over her arm to cover the stream of blood coming from it.

" No not at all," Lily answered. She pressed the quill against the parchment and started to write out the sentence. She gritted her teeth as pain sparked in her hand. But Lily wasn't weak; she wouldn't let petty old men like Abraxas Malfoy get to her. She bit her lip as she wrote the sentence out. An hour later, Lily stood and clenched her left fist. She could see blood staining the sleeve of her shirt. Malfoy looked up at her from his desk with a smirk.

" I'm done," Lily said. She placed the parchment and quill on Malfoy's desk. Her crimson blood was etched on the surface of the parchment. Her hand was sliced open with the words, I will not tell lies on it.

" Report here tomorrow at six in the afternoon," Malfoy ordered. Lily nodded and swallowed the bile in her mouth. She grabbed her bag and exited the classroom without a glance back. Alice was right; Wednesdays were horrible. Lily used her sleeve to put pressure on her hand. She muttered a healing spell and groaned when the cut didn't heal. She sighed and unrolled her sleeve. The edge of it hit her start of her fingers, covering her scar. She made her way to the Great Hall for dinner.

Lily entered the room and made her way over to her friends. She ignored the stare coming from the Slytherin table as she slid in between Gideon and Frank. She reached for a roll in the center of the table and someone grabbed her hand.

" Shit Lily what happened?" Marlene demanded. She shoved Lily's sleeve away and the blood mess that was Lily's hand became clear. The rest of her friends stopped eating and stared at the blood mess.

" Detention with Malfoy. It's rather wonderful. First he interrogated me with tea that was spiked with Veritaserum and then I got to use my own blood to write lines," Lily answered in a sarcastic tone. She grimaced when Marlene moped the blood up. The sentence was clear for the entire group to see.

" He can't do this! Lily you have to go to Professor McGonagall," Alice announced. Lily grimaced when Marlene wiped the blood from her hand.

" I can't do that. Professor McGonagall is already in trouble for giving those Slytherins detention for harassing that muggleborn. I can't risk her getting in anymore trouble," Lily answered.

" I spoke with my dad yesterday. He's on the Board of Governors. He's saying that Professor Gladstone is standing trial in front of the Wizengamot tomorrow for hexing Gastor. Gastor still isn't awake; they're considering sending him to Mungos. Dad says that Gladstone could go to Azkaban," Emmeline announced.

Michael looked over at Lily with a curious expression; she didn't tell anyone other than Potter about her history with Professor Gladstone. " You know Gladstone kept a muffling charm over you and her during that argument," Michael muttered to Lily. She gulped and nodded; but that didn't explain how Potter heard some of the conversation.

" They're trying to get rid of the teachers. Yesterday in Herbology there was a School Governor watching the class," Frank added. Lily frowned; the teachers at Hogwarts were some of the best she'd ever had. Lily didn't want them to be fired.

" Cygnus Black is the new Muggle Studies teacher. He spends the class ranting about how muggles are putrid creatures that must die," Marlene muttered.

" It's not like he'd have anything good to say about muggles. Black is still upset that his daughter shamed the family by marrying a muggleborn," Adam voiced.

" Who was Black's daughter?" Lily asked.

" Andromeda Black, well now Tonks. We met her during the Battle of the Ministry. She's married to this hit wizard named Tonks. I think their daughter is in first or second year," Gideon uttered. Lily remembered that Andromeda was betrothed to Julius.

Everything seemed to explode inside of her. Andromeda Black was betrothed and she got out of it. Lily remembered her brothers talking about how she stood Julius up at the altar. Lily shot up and grabbed her bag from the table. She had a letter to write.

It all made sense. Everything was right in front of her. Her mum's journal told her not to look for what was right in front of her correctly. She talked with Nymphadora just this morning. Lily ignored her friends' stares as she exited the Great Hall. Andromeda Tonks was the answer to Lily's greatest problem. If Lily found out how Andromeda got out of her betrothal then maybe Lily could get out of hers. Marlene would be free of Black once and for all, Lily though in triumph. Lily was building castles in the clouds, but she didn't know that castles could crumble before they were even lived in.

* * *

On Saturday morning, Lily reluctantly left her bed. The previous day was Marlene's seventeenth birthday. The party in the Gryffindor Common Room lasted until four in the morning, when Professor McGonagall caught over twenty Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws breaking curfew. But the day went well. Lily gave Marlene a set of dragon's hide skin chaser gloves and two tickets to a Weird Sisters Concert over the Christmas Holidays.

Classes went by quickly and Lily arranged a scrimmage against Hufflepuff's team for practice. After winning the game, Marlene was led up to the Common Room for a surprise party with her friends, fellow Gryffindors, and a few Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. Lily had never seen Marlene happier then when Fabian gave her a gold necklace with her birthstone on it.

Lily looked over at Marlene's bed and saw that the covers were pulled around it. She could see Marlene's hand peeking out though. Lily made her way over to the restroom. When she came out, Lily shoved her wet hair into a ponytail and slid a pair of sneakers on. She grabbed a pair of yoga pants and Puddlemere United sweatshirt and slid them on. The sun rested high in the sky; indicating that morning was long over. Lily grabbed her wand and mum's notebook before making her way down to the common room.

Only groups of younger students who hadn't been allowed to stay at the party after eleven sat in the common room. Lily knew that the lack of students her age was due to the Prewitt twins sneaking firewhiskey and butterbeer to the party. She knew that most of her friends had hangovers, but Lily didn't drink so she was exempt from the hangover issue. After Lily greeted a few students she tutored, she headed down to the Great Hall for a late breakfast. It was almost nine when Lily arrived in the hall.

She took a seat in the almost empty Gryffindor table and looked through the fruit bowl for pomegranates. Lily wrinkled her nose when she saw that there weren't any in the fruit bowl. She grabbed some strawberries and placed them on her plate. Her fingers grabbed a copy of the Daily Prophet from the table. An article on the trial of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Judea Gladstone sat on the cover. Lily heard that her old teacher was sentenced to a week in Azkaban for attacking a student. She was fired from her position and Headmaster Malfoy was taking over her classes until a replacement could be found. Lily hated those classes. Malfoy either lectured them on Dark Magic or forced them to record notes. It reminded Lily too much of her detentions.

Her eyes immediately looked down at her bandage wrapped hand. Emmeline had managed to transfigure an old t-shirt into a set of bandages for Lily to use on her hand. Lily didn't take her cloak off during classes to hide the bandage. She still had five more detentions with Malfoy; Lily was almost positive that the sentence would scar her.

Suddenly a letter landed by her plate. Lily picked it up and saw that there was scrawled handwriting addressing her name.

_Lily,_

_Destroy this once you get it. Right now isn't the best time for questioning my past life as a Black. The ministry is divided into two groups, those who support Voldemort and those who don't. The Auror Department is in shambles. Bishop was on a mission with Moody yesterday. A death eater threw some hex at Moody that ripped his eye off. He's in Mungos right now. A bad cruciatus curse hit Bishop so he's on house rest until Wednesday. I'm the senior auror so they've left me in charge. I'll be free by Friday. I can meet with you in Hogsmeade on the upcoming Friday around eleven in the night. Don't bring anyone. Meet me in the Hog's Head; tell the bartender that you need a cup of red currant rum okay? Be careful, I hope that you know a way out of the castle. If what you're asking for is what I'm thinking then you've got a hell lot of explaining to do Evans._

_Andromeda Tonks_

Lily folded the letter up and used a vanishing spell to get rid of the letter. She knew that the letter she sent to Andromeda seemed vague and gave little reason as to why Lily needed to desperately know about Andromeda's past. Lily was willing for Andromeda to know the truth about who she was if it could free her from her betrothal.

Potter was a monster. He killed people and tormented innocents on a daily basis. He was possessive to the point of violence, to the point where Lily would do anything for him if he stopped hurting people. Lily couldn't stand him, let alone marry him. Lily wouldn't last a day as his wife. The idea of being so close to him disgusted her.

" Lily why are you glaring at those strawberries?" a voice asked. She looked up and met Michael's concerned gaze. Lily blushed and pushed her plate away.

" I'm just thinking about someone, an arse in particular," Lily answered. Michael only pursed his lips and nodded. Lily watched him pour a cup of black coffee for himself.

" We've got work today. Bishop and Moody are out of commission so there isn't a meeting today. Frank wants us to learn some spells that work against the creatures in the Forbidden Forest. We're meeting in some abandoned classroom at midnight," Michael announced in a low voice. Lily nodded and rested her hands on the cover of her mum's notebook.

" What's in that notebook? You've been carrying it around since school started," Michael commented as he took a bite of his toast. Lily looked up and met his eyes with a small smile.

" Nothing much, just some history," Lily answered. She pulled the notebook on her lap and averted Michael's gaze. She didn't want to tell him about her mum's notebook. It was the one secret she had that no one else knew about. Not even Dumbledore or Potter knew about it.

" You're such a nerd Evans. Taking eight classes isn't enough?" Michael teased. Lily mockingly glared at him.

" It's better than your five classes Wood. I swear you're going to be the laziest auror ever," Lily teased. Michael grinned at her and reached for the porridge.

" Don't worry Evans. I'm not going to get killed on fieldwork. My partner, the quick-acting and nerdy Lily Evans will be there to save my lazy arse," Michael answered.

" Wood if you bring me pomegranates and chocolate everyday then I'll consider saving your lazy ass," Lily declared.

" It's a deal. Lily Evans it's a pleasure to be your partner in fighting the forces of a prick by the name of Voldemort," Michael announced. Lily shot him a dirty look as a few third years near them flinched at Michael's open usage of the Dark Lord's name. He nodded and Lily cleared her throat.

" Michael I promise to make sure that you actually show up to work. I'll hex you every morning if I have to," Lily vowed.

" Lily I promise to get you to leave work before midnight and make sure that you actually live a little," Michael assured.

" I'm not that bad. At least I go to the parties," Lily exclaimed. Michael snorted and polished off a plate of waffles.

" Sure you sit with either Alice or Marlene and talk about knitting patterns," Michael scoffed.

" I don't even know how to knit," Lily answered dryly. Michael held a hand to his chest and stared at her with shock.

" Sweet Merlin! Evans that's blasphemy knitting is one of the things that the Wood family holds close and dear," Michael replied. Lily rolled her eyes and grabbed a grape from Michael's plate. He scowled at her and batted her hand away.

" I'm not joking. I learned how to knit when I was seven," Michael said proudly.

" Michael I'm sure that if anybody wore a sweater that you made, they'd freeze to death or have an extra arm hole," Lily scoffed.

" Evans I can make a scarf with my eyes closed that will ensure the warmth of your neck," Michael announced.

"We'll see about that Wood," Lily answered. Michael shoved his empty plate away and leaned up.

" I've got to go to the hospital wing to get my bandages checked," Michael said in a low voice. Lily sat up and brushed her pants.

" I'll come with you. I want to check on Jason," Lily announced. Michael nodded stiffly and they walked down to the hospital wing together. Lily shivered when the autumn air hit her. Michael grabbed his cloak from his shoulders and moved them to hers in swift movement. Lily was reminded of Pericles telling her that she always had to be a damsel in distress.

" I'm fine Michael," Lily protested. Michael shot her a skeptical look and grabbed her arm. Lily blushed when she saw an army of Goosebumps resting on the surface of her arm. She looked forward, but Lily was sure that Michael was smiling smugly. When they reached the hospital wing, Michael reached for her hand. Lily didn't need to look at him to see the desperation in his eyes. She took his hand and gave it a tight squeeze. She hated herself for not being there for Michael before today. Lily looked over at him and saw dread in his eyes. This must have been his hell for the past two months. Lily regretted the hatred and harshness she showed him. He was her friend; and Lily would be there for him from now on.

" How often do you have to do this?" Lily asked. Michael sighed and faced her. His chest was a mere foot from her face.

" Once a week. I try to come in when you guys are at Quidditch practice," Michael explained. Lily frowned and lifted her head. She stared into his warm brown eyes and felt so much shame. Lily could have been there for him. She should've done something to help him.

" Lily it's my burden to carry," Michael said when he saw Lily's face. He wrapped his hand around Lily's jaw and forced her to meet his eyes.

" I'm your friend, I'm not going to leave you anymore," Lily promised. Before Michael could say anything, someone grabbed Lily from behind and pulled her into his chest. Lily looked up and met Potter's angry eyes.

" Lily why do you insist on interacting with scum like Wood?" Potter growled. Lily shoved his arms off her and glared at his smug expression.

" Why do you insist on being a prejudiced arse?" Lily asked. Potter ignored the anger traced into her voice and faced Wood. He sneered at Michael and reached for Lily again.

" Wood you're so pathetic. The only way Lily would even look at you is if she's pitying you so why do you even bother?" Potter demanded. Lily pulled her arm out of his grip and slapped his across the face.

"Potter Michael is more of a man than you'll ever be," Lily announced. Before Potter could answer her, Madam Pomfrey bustled out from her office.

" Mr. Wood you're two days late to get your bandages checked," Pomfrey declared with an annoyed expression. Michael grinned at her sheepishly and tucked his hands inside of his pockets.

" Sorry I got caught up in school work," Michael lied. Pomfrey rolled her eyes and led Michael over to an empty bed. She took a look at Lily as she closed the curtains around Michael's area.

" What are you doing here Miss Evans?" Pomfrey demanded. Lily crossed her arms and cleared her throat.

" I just wanted to see how Jason was doing," Lily explained. Pomfrey narrowed her eyes and looked at Lily suspiciously. Before she could say anything, Michael called her over. Lily silently said thanks to Michael and turned to face the hospital wing. Potter stood a foot from her with a scowl on his face.

" Do you know where Jace is?" Lily asked. Potter met her eyes and nodded. He grabbed her hand and shoved her into his chest. Lily scowled at him but he ignored it as he walked Lily over to a curtained bed. Potter pulled her inside of the curtains and closed them behind her. Lily could see Black sleeping in a chair next to the bed. Lily looked at the bed and saw Jason's sleeping figure lying on it. She moved towards the bed and looked down at Jason's unusually pale form.

" That spell he got hit with, almost ripped every vein in his right arm apart. He lost so much blood and didn't wake up until yesterday. Pomfrey is keeping him here for the rest of the weekend," Potter said in a low voice. Lily gulped and brushed a few of Jason's curls from his forehead. He looked so peaceful asleep; he looked like the nine-year-old boy who used to comfort Lily after a nightmare.

Lily didn't realize that she was crying until Potter stood directly behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned back in his embrace but didn't turn from Jason. She was so selfish. Jason was her brother even if she wasn't a Gastor anymore. It wasn't that he was just her family like Julius or Lucian. Jason was different. Jason used to be her best friend at one point. He never gave up on her. Even when Lily was such a bitch to him, he waited for her to need him; he showed her that family could be different from sharing a last name with someone.

" Lily he'll be fine. It's not going to scar or do any permanent damage," Potter soothed. His lips brushed the surface of her hair and Lily blinked her tears away. She clenched her fists and held the sobs back.

" I was so mean to him and he never gave up on me. He's my brother Potter and he showed me that it meant so much more than what I thought family was," Lily choked. Potter rubbed her back and she leaned against his chest.

Lily looked down at Jason's unusually pale body. He was tucked under a thin blanket and his hair was thrown around his face in a mess of curls. Lily twirled her fingers around one of them and bit her lip. She let go of the golden lock and looked over at Black's sleeping form. His body was sprawled out against the back of the hard seat. Potter looked over to where she was looking and smiled against her hair.

" Sirius stayed awake last night with Jason. He woke up in the middle of the night and refused to take a sleeping potion. Said he got enough sleep in the past two days. Remus went back to our dorm to get Jason's clothing. He'll be back soon," Potter said. Lily nodded and cleared her throat.

" Have you lot been staying with him since he came here?" Lily asked. Potter nodded and traced a pattern against Lily's lower back. She relaxed against his hold and let the movement of his long fingers soothe her.

" Yeah Malfoy is letting us miss classes until Jason is better. Remus went to class on Friday though. He said that one of us has to have notes for Jason," Potter explained. Lily was surprised by Potter's concern for her brother; she was only starting to understand the bonds of the Marauders. Lily closed her eyes for a moment and let Potter hold her. Lily didn't understand why her hatred for him seemed to disappear whenever he was touching her. But his embrace was so calming that Lily forgot about it.

" Prongs! Padfoot I snuck some food from the kitchens," a voice called out. Lily opened her eyes and saw that Lupin had entered the area. He carried two bags and a small basket. His eyes widened when he saw Lily in Potter's arms. Lily blushed and tried to pull her body out of Potter's hold. He only tightened his grip and Lily scowled at him.

" Doesn't Remus have a right to know who you are? I mean Sirius and I both know so it's only fair,' Potter whispered in her ear. Lily shoved his face away from hers and glared at him.

" No he doesn't. Potter both you and Black found out by yourselves, I didn't tell anyone but Marlene and Michael. I'd prefer to keep it this way," Lily hissed. Potter frowned but let go of her. They faced a confused Lupin and Potter grabbed the basket from Lupin's hands.

" Thank Merlin you got this Moony. I can't stand eating that shit Pomfrey calls food," Potter groaned. He reached into the basket and pulled out an apple. Almost immediately, Black woke up and looked at the food. He jumped up and grabbed a few slices of toast from the basket. Lily gaped at the sight of the two boys inhaling the food like animals. Lupin saw her expression and smiled weakly. Black seemed to notice her presence and grinned at the close proximity between her and Potter. Lily met his eyes and he swallowed the food in his mouth.

" Evans you've finally decided to visit your savior," Black teased. Lily blushed and bit her lip.

" Black try chewing your food," Lily advised. Black let out a laugh and turned to Potter. The two moved over to the seats on Jason's side and spoke in low voices. Lily looked over at Jason and moved over to his bed. She sat on the edge of it and looked down at her sleeping brother. Suddenly his eyes bolted open and he groaned. Lily met his eyes with a weak smile and he looked at her with a confused expression. His gold eyes twinkled with shock

" Lils?" Jason croaked. Lily moved her hand and squeezed his shoulder with a concerned look.

"Jace thank you," Lily said. Her brother leaned up and pulled her into a hug. Lily froze for a moment before returning his embrace. She tucked her head in his shoulder and blinked away the tears. Her brother was safe; Lily had her brother back. Jason pulled back and looked at Lily's figure. He frowned when his eyes landed on her left hand. Jason pulled her arm off his shoulder and shoved the sleeve of Michael's robe back. Lily knew that the other Marauders were watching her.

" What happened?" Jason demanded. He looked at Lily's bandaged hand and tried to pull the bandage up. Lily swatted his hand away and shot him an exasperated expression.

" Jace I think that when someone is injured you're not supposed to rip her bandage off," Lily exclaimed. But Jason's movement had caught Potter's attention. Lily cleared her throat uncomfortable under the hot gaze of her brother and Potter.

" I burned myself when I was straightening Marlene's hair yesterday," Lily lied. She felt Black look at her when she mentioned Marlene. A blush crawled on her face and Lily stood. She brushed some dirt from Michael's cloak and looked at Jason.

" I have detention so I'll be off," Lily announced. Before Jason could say anything Lily had left the room. She saw Michael waiting for her in the front of the hospital wing. Lily handed him his cloak and tore her bandage off. She couldn't wear it in front of Malfoy; that would look weak. Her fingers looked down at the words, I will not tell lies. The words were engraved in her own handwriting on her skin. Well Lily had told lies; it's rather ironic that the punishment she was given forced her to do the one thing it was supposed to prevent her from doing.

* * *

** I've**** gotten a beta who has a grand sense of the plot and grammar so that has changed. The people who took the time to favorite or review Confingo you guys are my muse! I doubt that I would've made it past Chapter 6 otherwise.**

**Happy Birthday Harry Potter!**

**R&amp;R**

**\- Rin**


	14. A Sword of Courage

**Chapter 14 A Sword of Courage**

**(How Deep is Your Love)**

* * *

" Black I would rather die than marry you," Marlene spat. Lily glanced at her friend from the corner of her eye with exasperation. She felt someone groan and lean his head on her shoulder.

" Too fucking bad McKinnon. You're going to marry me so stop being such a bitch," Black exclaimed. Lily glanced at him and leaned her head against the head resting on her shoulder. She sighed and closed her eyes against the head of gold curls.

" I'll give them an hour. After that I'll slap Padfoot and you can slap McKinnon," Jason muttered. Lily raised an eyebrow lazily and pulled her knees into her chest. She felt Jason wrap an arm around her shoulder and leaned into his hold.

"They've been arguing for two hours Jace! I'm giving Black five minutes to shut up before I rip his hair off," Lily threatened. She felt Jason's lips tug into a tired grin. Lily looked over at the door of the room with a scowl. Behind it was an entire hallway of collapsed walls and stones, which prevented her from leaving the room. Lily's wand was outside of the room with Jason's, Marlene's, and Black's wands. She shot the feuding couple in front of her a glare. Lily loved Marlene, but after two hours of listening to Marlene threatening to castrate Black, Lily was tired.

The room that the four students were in was a small classroom on the east wing of the castle. It was abandoned for the past fifty years, but it was a refuge from the destruction outside and inside of the room.

" Are you lot alright in there? The Headmaster has contacted the Ministry. They're sending help," Professor McGonagall's voice echoed from behind the door. It was faint, but that was due to the fact that the stern woman was an entire hallway away. Lily leaped up and Jason almost landed on the ground. She went over to the wall and cupped her hands around her mouth.

" We're okay. Black and Marlene won't shut up though," Lily shouted. She heard Marlene cry out indignantly. Lily glared at her; Lily was tired and cold. Marlene was only making this entire experience worse. Jason walked over to the wall and cupped his hands over his mouth in a similar way to Lily.

" Professor Lily's lying. Her arm is worse than before. She's losing too much blood," Jason shouted. He looked tired, Lily knew that she looked worse than him. There was a bleeding cut on his cheek and his clothing was ripped. Dust covered his shoes and his hair was thorn into chaotic curls. Lily touched her bleeding arm and scowled at him. It wasn't that bad. Sure, Black had to give her his cloak to try and stop the bleeding. And Lily might have felt slightly lightheaded, but that was only due to the current situation they were in.

" Jason I'm fine. Pomfrey will fix this in less than a second once we're out," Lily said in a vexed tone. Jason crossed his arms and scoffed. He grabbed her arm and pulled the blood-drenched tourniquet Marlene had made off. Lily grimaced at the sight of her raw flesh and the white bone peeking out. Jason looked almost green but he looked at her with an almost victorious note.

" Professor, McKinnon tied her wound up with Black's cloak but there's too much blood," Jason called out. Lily held her arm out and watched as blood fell to the ground of the room. She swayed slightly, and Jason didn't miss this. He ignored the bloody mass that was her arm and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, steadying her. Lily breathed raggedly and shot him a grateful expression. She bit her lip and stared at her grotesque arm. Thanks to the explosion, several pieces of stone ripped her skin off and embedded shards of glass from a window inside of her flesh. Marlene pulled the glass out during their first hour of being trapped in this room. Black was nauseated by the sight of Lily's arm and almost threw up in a corner.

" Mr. Gastor there isn't much we can do. The entire hallway collapsed and clearing the stone is taking more time than we thought it would. Try and keep Miss Evans awake at all times. I'll inform Malfoy once he returns from the Ministry," Professor McGonagall's voice called out.

Jason gulped and dragged Lily over to their seat on the ground. A series of dusty cushions that they had found in the classroom were on the ground. Lily sucked in a breath when she landed and her arm shoved back. Jason muttered an apology that she brushed away. Marlene walked over to them and checked Lily's arm again. Black followed her at a distance and stared at Lily's arm warily.

" We can't use that cloak anymore, it's too wet. Gastor, how do you feel about your shirt?" Marlene asked. Lily blushed as Jason tugged his ripped shirt off and handed it to Marlene. Marlene ignored Jason's formed chest and wrapped the shirt like a bandage around Lily. She then walked over to Black and continued their argument by slapping him across the face and calling him a man-whore. Lily sighed and leaned against her brother's shoulder. She could feel pain lance through the mess that was her arm; that was good, her nerves were still intact.

" Remember that time when we were five and you fell off your broom?" Lily asked. Jason twisted against the cold stone of the room and nodded. He brushed a curl off his forehead in annoyance and cleared his throat. Lily looked at his leg with concern; his ankle was swollen and bruised.

" Yeah. Mum screamed like a banshee when she saw that my arm was dislocated. I think she threatened to snap Lucian's broom since he passed me the quaffle," Jason answered with a fond smile.

" Then Julius calmed her down and took her inside with Cassius and Pericles. Dad and I stayed behind and I held your hand when he popped your shoulder into place," Lily reminisced. Jason nodded and his Adam's apple bobbled slightly.

" Dad told you something, remember what he said?" Lily whispered. The sounds of Marlene and Black's fight seemed to drown away in the background as she and Jason remembered their childhood.

" Sometimes the flight is worth the fall," Jason murmured. Lily nodded and looked over at her brother. He changed from the scrawny boy who was trying to hold his tears in. He was stronger and older. The war changed him, but it wasn't up to Lily to decide if it was for the worse or for the better.

" I think I know what he meant," Lily commented. Both of them didn't talk, there was no need for words. Jason knew what she meant and words wouldn't change that. No matter how much she tried to keep flying, eventually Lily was going to fall. But it was up to her to make the journey worth it. Jason understood that perfectly. That's why he was letting her go, at least for now. She would be back eventually. But Lily wasn't ready to fall yet and being in England made her slowly tumble down to Earth. She had a chance to continue flying and for once in his life Jason chose to understand her. Lily was never more grateful for such an amazing brother. He cleared his throat and rubbed his hands together. Lily could see goosebumps on his arms.

" Lily, I won't tell James what you're doing. But I can't help you face the consequences of your actions. You'll have to do that on your own," Jason announced. Lily nodded and tucked a strand of blood-covered hair behind her ear.

" I'll be back Jace; I'm not leaving you again. I lost that bet so I'll spend Christmas with Potter. But I'm not coming back to Hogwarts, at least not until March. I know that there will be consequences for my actions but it's my choice. I don't have a lot of time left to make choices Jason," Lily answered. Her eyes droop slightly and she yawned softly. The bickering between Black and Marlene had stopped and Lily didn't know why.

" Lily, I love you enough to set you free. I know that this could be the one last thing you do for yourself. I'm just going to miss you a lot," Jason sighed. Lily reached up and met his gold eyes. She was wrong about one thing. It wasn't Julius; he was too harsh, he was the essence of the worst things their dad had to offer. It wasn't Pericles; he wasn't a fighter, Pericles just wanted to live his life without the horrors of England and Lily couldn't blame him. It wasn't Lucian; Lucian was almost a replica of their dad, he wanted the society they lived in to be his world. It wasn't even quiet Cassius, Cassius may have escaped but he would forever be haunted by the demons he created. It wasn't Lily, Lily was brave but she would never be able to love somebody so much that she could let them go. She loved them so much that they would haunt her forever. It was Jason; Jason was the Gastor child who was most like their mother. He never stopped loving someone; he loved Lily so much that he was strong enough to let go of her.

" I know Jace. But I need to fly one last journey," Lily answered. Her brother smiled wryly and met her eyes with a sad gaze.

" You'll be happy Lily. I'm almost annoyed that you won't tell me where you're going, but you'll be happy and that's all that I care about," Jason finished. Green eyes met gold eyes and a settlement was met. Lily knew that she couldn't risk telling anyone where she was going. Not even Michael or Marlene knew that she was leaving, let alone where she was going. She wasn't strong enough to see the abandonment on their faces. But Lily knew that she had to tell them the truth before she left. She had to prepare an owl to send a letter to Hogwarts on the first day that school started after the Christmas break. It would inform the school that Lily leaving the school, but that she would return.

She looked over at Jason and saw that he was sleeping against her shoulder. She smiled and leaned against his head and thought about what made her come to this decision. Lily remembered all the things that made her realize that she had to leave England even though it would mean not helping those suffering here. But if Lily accomplished what she was planning on, then she wouldn't be a danger to more people.

Jason, Marlene, and Black didn't know that it was her that caused that hallway to collapse. It was her that almost killed her best friend and brother. She was a monster, but Lily found a solution to this problem, it was the first solution she found in a long time. And right now Lily could use one less problem.

* * *

**_~Two months earlier~_**

* * *

" Fabian I don't care that it's Halloween! You can't dump 10 liters of pumpkin juice on me," Marlene cried out. Lily covered her grin as she examined Marlene. The tall girl was covered in a sticky liquid. Her makeup streamed down her face and her hair clung to her back in a muggy mess. Marlene caught Lily's gaze and glared at her.

" Evans don't laugh at me! You're not going to be left out I assure you. Once I get all of this off my hair, I'll be waiting in the shadows to prank you," Marlene swore. Lily shot her a cheeky grin and laughed.

" Can't do that Marlee! You've already picked someone to prank and I know it's not me. That leaves you and Fabian as the only people I can trust for the rest of the day," Lily declared. Her friends had a secret-pranking tradition running back from the time Marlene was in first year. Each person picked someone's name from a hat that Gideon procured back in his second year. They had until the Halloween Feast to successfully prank their victim. If they didn't complete a successful prank by the feast, then they were subjected to a naked-dive into the Black Lake at midnight. Frank volunteered to be the judge this year so Lily took his place in the competition. She smiled at the thought of the elaborate prank she had set up for her prankee. It was almost worthy of a Marauders' prank.

The Marauders had officiated prank week that began on the previous Monday and stretched until Halloween. The Halloween prank week was one of the Marauders' traditions. Another one was an annual prank war in April, which continued until every Marauder but one surrendered. It was cancelled the previous year to due Jason and Potter's parents' deaths. Because Jason was in the hospital wing from the previous Wednesday until Halloween, the prank week had been cancelled to the distress of many fangirls. Lily and Marlene burst into laughter after listening to a group of Hufflepuffs reminisce over the clothing vanishing spell that Potter had shot Jason and Black with during dinner last year. Lily was almost thankful that they couldn't do the prank week this year. She wouldn't be able to stomach the thought of either Jason or Black naked. She hadn't even seen Jason shirtless since they were seven and he went through a shirtless phase. Lily was hoping to find the pictures of a scrawny gold-haired boy to use as blackmail.

"Come on Lily, let's go to the table before Marlene hexes me," Fabian ordered. Lily nodded and glanced at Marlene's murderous face.

" I spent an hour putting my hair up this morning," Marlene grumbled as she left the hall to clean up. Lily bit her lip in guilt but Fabian's evil grin made her guilt disappear. He led her over to a sear in between Adam and himself. Lily shot him a worried look before taking a seat next to Alice. She grabbed a bowl of porridge from down the table near a group of fifth years to be safe.

" I love watching you lot being all cautious," Frank declared with a dark grin. Alice shot him a dirty look and shoved a piece of toast in his direction.

" Okay Mr. Judge stop being so high and mighty. Why don't you try some of my toast," Alice suggested. Michael stood and slapped the toast away from Frank's mouth. It landed on Alice's plate and she gaped at Michael.

" That's cheating! I knew that letting Frank be judge was a bad choice," Michael declared. Frank stared at Michael incredulously and rolled his eyes. Lily bit her lip to suppress the grin she was getting.

Gideon reached for the plate filled with scones. Suddenly the basket exploded and scones flew into the air and attacked the ginger. Gideon shouted in shock and shoved them away. Most of the students in the hall turned to see the spectacle. Lily started laughing when Gideon grabbed a butter knife and promptly slaughtered the army of scones. He turned to the group with an annoyed expression.

" Who did it?" Gideon asked. Lily looked around the group and gaped as Emmeline stood with a proud grin. She reached across the table and grabbed the last scone from the basket

" You're always eating all the cinnamon scones. Every morning since first year I come to the table only to see that you've confiscated all the bloody scones. I've waited seven years to get you back for taking all of them," Emmeline explained with a devilish grin. She took a bite of the scone with a victorious grin. Gideon shot her a defeated glare before sitting back down. Michael brushed a few crumbs from Gideon's shoulder and gave him an apologetic expression. The games were just starting…

" Lupin did you finish the essay on the Wolfsbane Potion?" Lily asked. She was lucky that none of her friends took Care of Magical Creatures. Every five classes, they had a practical lesson instead of their independent ones. Today Professor Grubbly-Plank had a friend of hers bring a Common Welsh Green Dragon baby from his reserve in Wales. Lily was sitting next to Lupin thoroughly bored, unlike her classmates. The Common Welsh Green was a pathetic excuse for a dragon in her opinion. Lily had seen real dragons like the Swedish Short-Snout and the Hungarian Horntail when her grandparents had taken her to Romania when she was eleven for her spring holidays.

The Common Welsh Green had nothing on the likes of the fiery Swedish Short-Snout and the dangerous Hungarian Horntail. The Welsh Green could be found practically throughout Wales. It was a small and slender dragon that preferred eating flocks of sheep than killing and lighting wizards on fire. The dragon didn't entrance Lupin, much like Lily. He looked at it with a bored expression and turned to Lily when she spoke. He grinned toothily at her and Lily repressed the shiver she got as she remembered the beast growling and snarling at her. It seemed as though Lupin had no recollection of this. Yet Potter and Jason seemed to be aware of her presence in the Forbidden Forest that night.

" Yes I did. Why aren't you enthralled by the fine dragon in front of us Evans?" Lupin asked. Lily shrugged and watched as the small creature clawed desperately at its cage.

" Those things are all over England. I'm sure that I saw one during the train ride to here," Lily answered. She turned to face Lupin. They sat in the back of the room and the lights were turned off everywhere but the front of the room. Her knees hit his and Lily pulled back.

" Right. I'm sure that there's at least two of them in the forest behind my house," Lupin declared in a low voice. Lily nodded and wondered for a moment where Lupin lived. Welsh Greens were only found in the mountains in Wales. Lily had only seen them when they were flying across the plains of England to get to Wales after hatching across the country.

" My mum's family used to live in Wales. She's from one of the few pureblood Welsh families actually. My dad is from France but we live in Bristol. He doesn't like the mountains. But we always go up there for a week or two during the summer," Lupin answered when he saw Lily's expression. She nodded and cleared her throat.

" That must be nice. I've only been out of London a few times," Lily answered. Lupin raised an eyebrow at her open lie.

" Like when you visit Jason over the summer? You seemed to know your way around the Gastor Manor pretty well,' Lupin commented dryly. Lily coughed and felt a blush rise to her throat.

" My family used to live in Manchester actually. I met Jason in a muggle park before I knew I was a witch. He saw me do magic and told me. But when I was nine, my family moved to Greece and later to France," Lily explained. Lupin nodded and met her eyes.

" Did you ever go to Jason's house?" Lupin asked. Lily narrowed her eyes and scowled at him.

" A few times with my mum and dad when his brothers were at school," Lily hissed. Lupin only nodded and looked to the front of the room.

" See I know for a fact that you're lying Evans. Most pureblood estates have charms on them that prevent muggles from entering. So I can believe that you were able to get into Jason's house, but not your supposed muggle parents," Lupin drawled.

Lily wanted to hit herself. That was one of the basic things she learned when she was a kid. She scowled at Lupin's figure and he looked over at her for a moment. His eyes flashed with curiosity.

" Last year both Prongs and Padfoot hated you. Now Prongs is acting like a stranger. He won't bring girls to the dorm anymore; he uses broom closets now. He can't go a bloody meal without looking over at you. And god forbid you speak to Wood! Prongs goes into rampages of destruction whenever that happens. Padfoot, well he used to side with me whenever Prongs did stuff for you. But now he actually teases Prongs about you. Evans you need to understand that my friends used to spend their days bullying muggleborns so badly that they would leave the school. It doesn't make sense for them to fawn over you," Lupin announced.

Lily's eyebrows arched at his story. She didn't know that Potter was watching her so much. She always thought that he was too distracted by the girl he usually had sitting in his lap. Or the girl he was winking at during class. Lily quickly set her face to blank and heard the bell ring. She grabbed her bag and stood.

" I don't know what you're talking about Lupin. You're in the hospital wing a lot, maybe you're hallucinating," Lily spat. She turned and fled the room before Lupin could say anything. She knew it was a low blow to say something like that to Lupin, but he was being nosy. Lily knew that she had to do anything she could to keep her secret a secret. Too many people knew who she really was. Her lies were forming knots and Lily was getting caught in a trap.

She entered the Great Hall and saw her friends sitting in a group. Some of them had airs of defeat around them. Lily grinned as she sat in between Marlene and Frank. She had the safest seat in the table. She grabbed a sandwich from the other side of the table and a large glass of water.

" So who's out?" Lily asked as she took a bite of her sandwich. Frank cleared his throat and took out a notepad from his bag.

" Marlene was out first when she walked into Fabian's prank and got drenched in 10 liters of pumpkin juice. Gideon is out from Emmeline's army of scones. During class today, Gideon got a sneak attack on Alice by making her potion turn into a lust potion. Thanks Gid, that was probably the best History of Magic class I've ever had since Alice was sitting next to me during the that class," Frank declared. Alice scowled at him and looked down at her food with a frown.

" Alice got Fabian during their free period. She managed to hit him with some charm that made him stand up in the middle of the library and sing a song that denoted his undying love for Madam Pince and her lust for books," Frank continued. Marlene burst into laughter from beside Lily. Fabian groaned and glared at Alice.

" Because of that I've got a week of detention and am officially banned from the library until I graduate," Fabian groaned.

" Too bad mate. That leaves everyone else out. The remaining people are Lily, Adam, Emmeline, and Michael," Frank announced.

" Actually I just got Emmeline," Adam announced. He slid in between Alice and Fabian and took an apple from the table. Emmeline followed him with a beat red expression. She slid in the seat across from him and stared at her plate.

" What did you do," Frank asked. Adam grinned raucously and looked at his girlfriend with a smirk.

" A gentleman never tells Longbottom," Adam declared. Lily noticed his and Emmeline's ruffled appearance and wrinkled her nose.

" Did McKinnon score?" Frank asked. Adam didn't answer, but he grinned at his apple. Lily blushed and looked down at Emmeline who was trying to hide her small smile. Before anyone could say anything though, Gideon let out a garbled sound. Lily saw where he was staring and gaped at Adam's hair.

" What's wrong?" Adam demanded. Most of the group, and several Gryffindors were staring at his hair. He grabbed a spoon and looked at his head. He placed the spoon down and clenched his jaw.

" Who did it? Who turned my hair neon pink?" Adam demanded. Alice raised her hand with a smile and Frank stared at her in wonder.

" I charmed it during DADA, I've been waiting all morning for it to finally activate," Alice answered.

" That leaves Michael and Lily," Frank announced. Lily finished her sandwich and stood before anyone could say anything. She met Michael's gaze with a twinkle.

" Wood you're an only child. You don't know the meaning of a good prank," Lily declared. Michael leaned across the table and met her gaze with a devilish grin.

" Evans you haven't endured a good prank in years. I on the other hand have won this competition over four times," Michael boasted. Lily saw his eyes look down at her plate with a small gleam. She immediately pushed her plate away and grabbed her bag from the bench before Michael could move. She stood and made her way out of the Great Hall. It wasn't Michael or his mock threat that sent Lily out of the hall; it was the sneak attack from her magic. Lily covered her eyes with her arm as she swung the door to the girls' loo open. She threw her bag down and looked in the mirror.

The veins surrounding the skin of her eyes were bold. Her irises look extremely large and the color seemed to dance with flames. The red veins of her eyes were sharp against the remaining white area. Lily leaned over the counter and clenched her eyes shut. She took a deep breath and shoved her magic back into its prison. It fought out and lashed against her. Lily groaned as she shoved against it with all of her strength. Her mind shoved it down and back into the secure prison from which it came.

When Lily opened her eyes, the veins had settled and her irises were a normal size and color. She splashed water on her face and tightened the knot of her ponytail. Hands reached for her forgotten bag and Lily scrambled out of the room. She walked briskly to Charms and kept blinking. How did her magic manage to escape? It only crept from its prison when Lily was emotionally insecure, and she wasn't insecure at that moment. Something was wrong; Professor Gladstone told her that her magic was growing. Lily doubted that she was strong enough to handle it.

She walked into the Charms room as the second the bell starting the period rang. Lily ignored Marlene's curious expression as she sat next to her. Lily pulled her notebook of parchment out and began scribbling out the notes on nonverbal spells. She didn't speak for the entire period; her thoughts were lost in a different world. When the period ended, Lily forgot about the prank she had planned for Michael. She couldn't concentrate at all. Her sense seemed to be heightened and adrenaline was burning in her veins. What was happening? She bolted from the classroom and went outside. Her legs were aching for a run. Lily headed down to the Quidditch pitch and changed into running clothing. She had to get rid of that excess energy somehow. She left her bag in the locker and laced a pair of sneakers on. Lily slipped a running jacket and a pair of athletic leggings on. She pulled her hair up into a tight ponytail and stretched her arms out as she walked to the pitch.

She frowned when the scene in front of her became clear. Lily blinked sharply and bit her lip. It was Monday; Slytherin practiced on Mondays. She could see Potter barking out orders to his team and Jason running routines with Black. Lily quickly turned and exited the Quidditch pitch. She would have to settle for a run around the Black Lake. Her feet pounded sharply against the surface of the ground as she ran. Arms moved back and forward and her body leaned up. Quick breaths entered her lungs and left as quickly as they came. She closed her eyes and continued running in the same pattern. She could feel the sun hit her and the crisp autumn breeze brush strands of hair from her face. But the energy wasn't leaving; it tightened its grip on her veins and sent bursts of lightning through her.

" Evans you've been running out here for almost two hours," someone shouted. The voice barely broke through Lily's concentration. Her eyes opened and she looked behind her. Potter was running behind her in a sprint. Lily frowned and wondered how fast she was running. She slowed down and Potter caught up to her. He was coated in a light layer of sweat and looked almost tired. Lily was surprised she was completely dry and her cheeks didn't even feel hot with a blush.

" I thought you preferred to run in the morning," Lily said dryly. She stopped running as they came closer to the castle. Her feet quickly slowed her pace to a jog as she led Potter over to the pitch. Lily stopped running and watched as Potter caught his breath. What was happening to her? She wasn't faster than Potter, so why was she fine and he was exhausted.

" If you're around then I can run at all times," Potter gasped. He leaned up and wiped the sweat from his brow, unaware that Lily was falling apart. She pulled her jacket off and clenched her eyes shut. Why was this happening? She wasn't emotionally distraught; she was fine. Something was changing inside of her. Lily took a ragged breath as she felt her magic swell. She swayed slightly and felt an extreme headache hit her. Suddenly someone touched her. Lily gasped and opened her eyes. She met Potter's concerned eyes with a pale face.

" Lily your eyes," Potter murmured. Lily touched the skin around her eyes and felt the veins popping up. Potter tried to wrap his arms around her, but she shoved them away violently. Lily turned from Potter and reached for the hemline of her pants. She pulled her wand out and shoved Potter away.

" Get away from me," Lily groaned. She needed Professor Gladstone; she needed someone to stop this power from growing. It latched onto every cell in her body and pulsed through her veins. Potter frowned at her and tried to grab her. Lily felt a small twinge of annoyance; but that was enough. She felt something grab control from her and thrash out at Potter, within a second. She looked at Potter who was staring at her with a horrified expression. Lily looked down and saw that her hands where ablaze with green fire. She clenched them and ran before Potter could move.

Her feet sent her shuttling into the forest. Trees and branches batted at her skin as she ran. An intense fear shot through her; she almost hurt Potter. Lily didn't like Potter, in fact she was close to loathing him more than Josiah Crichton, but she couldn't kill him. Technically, she had never taken a life. Her magic took almost ten lives, but Lily had never used it to kill someone. Yet in that flash of emotions, her magic seemed to bow to her. It wasn't the one that wanted to hurt Potter, she was.

Suddenly she stopped running. Lily looked around her and felt the magic inside of her reach out. It didn't act as though it was a part of her, but really it wasn't. Lily's magic was a dangerous creature that lived inside of her. It wanted; no it craved control of her. It wanted to set the world ablaze and see ashes fall. Green eyes looked down to Lily's hands. She could see her veins sticking out. Her magic preferred to ignore her body and instead shot itself through her. It was killing her, and there was nothing she could do to control it.

Lily heard lightening flash in the background. She could feel her magic give a cry of fear. That was all she needed. Lily quickly grabbed control and sent her magic back into a stronger and tighter cage. She used all of her willpower to lock it away. Why was it afraid of lightning? Questions popped into Lily's head, but she was too tired to even think about them. Her legs leaned down and she fell into a kneel. She let her head lean back and felt drops of water fall on her skin. It was raining, but the heavens seem to be crying. Thunder sounded in the background and lightening flashed in front of her eyes. Lily opened them and saw that she was in the Forbidden Forest. Her clothes were slashed and her skin was bleeding in several places. But she had control and that was all Lily cared for. She stood and gained her balance slowly.

Dusk was just starting. The sun wasn't clear though. Storm clouds covered the sky and fat drops of water cascaded down. Lily remembered how her mum once compared rain to the soldiers of the heavens. She thought that rain could save the souls of the lost.

This memory flickered in Lily's mind as she walked through the forest. Her feet crunched the wet floor of the woods as she walked back to the castle. Lily didn't' have the best sense of direction, but she followed the trails of muddy footprints back to school. She was thoroughly drenched and cold. Her arms wrapped around her chest as she made her way through the forest. Lily frowned and took her wand out. She muttered a quick heat charm and felt it encase her clothing. The warmth of her charm comforted her. Against the bleak grays and browns of the forest, Lily stood out. Her hair looked like a mess of bloody clumps and her skin appeared to be even paler in the light of the lightening. Her eyes were normal once again yet they were a rich emerald green that could be mistaken for a muggle light.

She could hear something walking through the forest. Lily shivered when she remembered all of the creatures that Professor Grubbly-Plank told them resided in the Forbidden Forest. She sped up and slipped on some mud. Lily clumsily grabbed a tree and fell against it. She felt her hand scrape against the rough bark and hissed when she saw the rivulets of blood pouring from the inside of her right palm. Rain fell with the blood and it hit the floor of the woods. Lily scowled and tugged on the hem of her shirt. She placed the cloth over her cut and began walking again. She could see the outline of the castle and the pitch from where she was. Long legs carried her over to the glowing castle.

She sighed with relief when she exited the outskirts of the forest. Lily made her way to the pitch and went into the locker rooms. Potter wasn't anywhere around, but Lily had left a long time ago. She wondered what time it was. After looking at her muddy and scraped appearance, Lily used several cleaning charms and healing charms on her scrapes and cuts. Her palm was still bleeding though. Lily grabbed her bag and swung a cloak over her form. She twisted her hair into a bun and rubbed the water from her skin. She checked the time and noticed that the Halloween feast had already started. Lily scowled and shut her locker. She sprinted up the path and made her way into the castle. Lightning flashed in the background; something inside of her shook with fear as she looked up at the stormy sky. Lily ignored the foreboding feeling the lighting gave her and walked to the Great Hall.

The feast was in full session. People spoke loudly and enjoyed the grand dishes on the tables. Lily slipped into the hall without anyone noticing her. She sat at the end of the Gryffindor table and took her cloak off. Lily scowled at the sight of her bloody shirt and torn pants; magic could only do so much to fix her appearance. She grabbed a napkin from the table and pressed it against her cut. Lily knew that a trip to the hospital wing was in order. She tied the cloth against her cut and moved her almost blue fingers with annoyance.

Something was happening to her. Professor Gladstone was in Azkaban so there was no way Lily could contact her. Dumbledore was out of the country and no one knew where he was. Lily was running out of people to talk to. She couldn't ask any of her relatives about this since they were all dead. She needed Dumbledore, but Dumbledore was gone. Lily looked down at her plate and rubbed her forehead. She had to do something. The lack of control she just experienced, she couldn't go through that again. It was too much for her to handle. She couldn't handle that kind of power; it was pure destruction and anarchy.

Her eyes shut for a moment and a face flashed in front of her eyes. Delphina Gastor, her mum carried the gene. She was dead, but Lily had her journal. Her fingers moved to the bag resting by her side and Lily pulled out a faded notebook. The notebook refused to open during the last time she wanted to use it, but that was over two weeks ago. Lily moved to pull the cover open when she heard someone call her name out. Her eyes looked up to meet a pair of frantic blue ones.

" Lily why are you here? Didn't you hear," Marlene demanded. The tall and lithe girl walked over to Lily and grabbed her by the shoulders. Lily stared at her in confusion while she slipped the notebook back into her bag.

" Marlee what's going on?" Lily asked. She could see tears brimming in her friend's eyes. The usual collected and beautiful Marlene McKinnon looked frazzled. Her hair surrounded her face in chaotic locks. Lily could see that her shirt was slightly ruffled and her skirt was wrinkled. Marlene's dark blue nail polish shone on the fingers that were wrapped tightly around a wand. Lily turned and noticed that some people in the hall were looking at them. She didn't notice that all of her friends were absent from their seats in the middle of the table. Marlene met Lily's eyes and she could see the dread and horror present in her friend's eyes.

" It's Michael Lily. He's dying," Marlene whispered. Lily felt her heart shatter at Marlene's words. She stood clumsily and grabbed Marlene's shoulder. Lily could feel her magic trying to escape; but she didn't let it. She screamed at it and fought against it before it could even move. It slinked back to its prison with reluctance.

" He was in the dungeons doing extra credit with Slughorn. When he left, some Slytherins picked a fight with him. His chest, Lils it's horrible. Oh Merlin I didn't realize it was that bad. They removed his bandages and shot spells at his cuts. Right before the feast started, Frank and Emmeline were on patrol in the dungeons. They found him and took him to the hospital wing. Professor McGonagall wants him to go to Mungos," Marlene explained.

Lily bit back the bile in her throat and closed her eyes. She could see burned flesh and smell the scent of fire. His blood was everywhere; it covered her and it drenched his skin. She opened her eyes and shoved those memories away; Lily couldn't deal with them. She had to be strong for Michael. Her hands reached for her bag and Marlene pulled her towards the large doors muttering things. Lily looked behind her back and almost threw up.

Hazel eyes met hers in a tumultuous storm and Lily knew that Potter did this. She could see a proud air surround him. Lupin told her that Potter didn't like it when she was with Michael. She remembered Potter's eyes narrowing with rage when she wore Michael's cloak the previous day. This was her fault. Potter warned her and she ignored him. Lily didn't think that he was that much of a monster. How could he do something like this? She clenched her jaw and turned away from Potter.

Lily could hear the girl sitting on his lap giggling and his deep laughter as she left the Great Hall. She would not marry that loathsome excuse for a human. Potter was too evil and horrific for her. She couldn't stand him; and now he had done the one thing that made her actually hate him. Lily almost wanted to kill him. This shocked her; she never felt this kind of sadistic urge before. This was disturbing; how could she want to kill someone? A small voice in her head told her that Potter deserved it. He killed so many people and tortured even more. But that was wrong.

Marlene tugged Lily into the hospital wing. She dragged her towards a bed. Lily could see most of her friends standing near it. Frank was speaking to Gideon near the bed. She frowned when she saw that Emmeline and Adam were arguing. Alice and Frank sat in the two chairs near the bed. Lily gulped as she walked over to the bed; she wasn't ready to see Michael like this.

The first thing she noticed wasn't the blood and the opened flesh. It was Michael's eyes. They were contorted in twisted agony that Lily could never understand. Sweat covered his forehead, and someone pulled his hair back. His chest was exposed and his cuts were open. Blood appeared from the cuts and suddenly disappeared. It was Pomfrey's work. His eyes made contact with Lily and he tried to smile. Lily immediately flew to his bedside and grabbed his hand. She sat on the edge of his bed and rested her hand in his hair.

" Lily remember what you told me back in the ruins of the old Auclair Manor," Michael croaked. Lily bit her lip and remembered the words she told him to keep him from dying. He couldn't die like this; she wouldn't let him. Lily blinked and choked back her tears. She had to be strong; not only for him but also for herself. She wasn't strong enough to pull herself back together if he died.

" Yeah I do. But Michael you're not going to die today. Healers from Mungos are coming, you're going to be fine," Lily assured. His hand twitched in her hold and he smiled at her. Lily's heart fell at that smile; it was filled with an all-knowing sense. He moved his hand up and brushed her arm with trembling fingers.

" Lily I'm not five; I know what dying is," Michael answered in a hoarse voice. He coughed and looked up at the ceiling. His skin was too pale. Lily quickly grabbed his hands and squeezed them.

" No you can't die Michael. You promised to be my partner. You're supposed to make sure that I get drunk and learn how to hold down firewhiskey. You're going to live and fight by my side Michael. You're not dying today," Lily argued. She could feel tears streaming down her face and sobs starting to form in her chest. Michael closed his eyes and fell asleep with a small smile. Lily shook his shoulder and shouted his name. No he couldn't fall asleep; he couldn't fall asleep. Sobs erupted from her chest and Lily felt someone grab her. She pushed them away and moved to Michael. He was the first person she trusted in England. He was supposed to be her partner; her dueling partner.

A wizard or witch's dueling partner was the person they trusted with their life above all. A dueling partner was like the ultimate friendship. Lily knew that her mum and Apolline Kingsmill had one. Fabian and Gideon Prewitt performed the ceremony over the summer while Lily was in Greece, according to Marlene. Lily never thought that she could trust someone enough to ask him to be her dueling partner after Benjy Auclair's betrayal. But Michael gave her the strength to want him. She was going to ask him to be her dueling partner once she turned seventeen.

" Mr. McKinnon and Mr. Prewitt please get Miss Evans away from Mr. Wood! The Healers have arrived; they need to treat him immediately," someone declared in the background. Lily protested as someone grabbed her and pulled her away from Michael. She could barely see his figure from behind her tears. Two people were dragging her out of the hospital wing. Lily shoved against their shoulders and tried to get back to Michael. No one except her understood what he was going through.

She had to be there for him. She abandoned him when he needed her. None of their friends understood what they went through in their kidnapping. Lily needed Michael and he needed her. She needed someone to anchor her to reality; she needed him. Michael was different from Potter or Galen. He didn't have Potter's passion or fire. He didn't make Lily feel alive and safe. He wasn't like air; Galen was something that Lily needed to live. Michael was simply her best friend. They both knew in their hearts that they were destined to be dueling partners. But things didn't always go in favor of destiny. Lily knew that sometimes she had to fight against destiny, other times she had to fight for it.

She stopped protesting when the doors of the hospital wing closed. Lily blinked and looked around. Adam and Fabian stood near her with concerned looks. Emmeline and Marlene were supporting each other's sorrows. Gideon, Alice, and Frank were speaking in low voices. They had each other; these people had been friends since their childhoods. They grew up with each other and grieved with each other. They carried each other's burdens with willing arms. And right now, even though Lily hadn't known them for even a year, they were carrying her burdens while balancing their own grief. She was so thankful for friends like this.

Her friendship with Benjy seemed innocent at the time. But as Lily examined it she could see the flaws in it. He was dark and she was light. He isolated her from their peers and made her reliant on his friendship. His death freed her from the shackles of a toxic friendship. Her friendship with Selena was pure and sweet. Yet the perils of Lily's dramatic life and Selena's normal life separated them. Jason was her brother; yet his abandonment broke her childhood. She was alone, until she met these people.

Their friendships weren't toxic. Emmeline and Alice were destined to raise their kids together. Frank and Adam were going to be each other dueling partners. Marlene and Gideon were close friends that bonded over something as simple as their love for the Appleby Arrows. Fabian and Michael were going to raise a Quidditch team of kids and play against each other. These bonds weren't dark and dangerous; they were light and free. Lily was so thankful for these people. They saved her when times got dark.

Suddenly Marlene grabbed her and pulled her in a tight hug. Lily returned it and sank into her friend's arms. No tears fell from her eyes, but that didn't mean that she wasn't in pain. Lily rubbed Marlene's back and soothed her friend. See the thing is, Lily is actually an excellent friend. She didn't know that her presence had the same impact on her friends that theirs had on hers. Lily gave Gideon the strength to let go of Dorcas and move on. She encouraged Marlene to not give up on her and Fabian's relationship, something that Marlene would be grateful for. She showed Adam that letting war get in the way of what he wanted wasn't living the life he was meant to. In a year, Lily would take a curse for Frank, a curse that would've drove him to the brink of insanity. During the summer she would be there for Emmeline when her world would start to fall apart. Lily didn't know how much her presence helped her friends. But then again, she didn't see the good in her.

Slowly the group made its way to the common room. They ignored the stares of curious students as they headed up their respected staircases. Alice and Frank went to the boy's dorm. Soon Emmeline went to seek comfort in Adam's arms. Marlene followed Emmeline to the boys' dorm after Lily assured her that she was fine. Lily spent the night doing homework; she knew that there was no way she could get any sleep. She plowed through her assignments and planned Quidditch practice for the next week. When it was three in the morning, neither Marlene nor Emmeline had returned to the dorm. Lily stretched her back and cleaned her stuff. Lily needed to do some mindless work to distract herself from the world. But her hands trembled as she worked.

Around four, the dorm was spotless and Lily took a long shower. She left the loo after using a hair removal charm on her legs and smelling of her strawberry shampoo. After changing into her uniform and filling her bag with the materials she needed for the day, Lily sat on her bed. Her mum's notebook sat in her hands and the fall air came in through the open window. Lily managed to clean the entire dorm, including Marlene's disaster of a desk. It smelled of the perfumes the three girls used and fresh air.

Lily tapped her fingers on the cover of her mum's journal as she tied her hair into a set of Dutch Braids. She tied two small ribbons at the bottom and looked down at the frayed journal in her lap. Her fingers slowly pulled the cover up and she closed her eyes and opened to a random page. Lily looked down at her mum's handwriting and hoped that it would lull her to comfort.

* * *

_Perry loves to tease me about being the perfect daughter. He says that I love all the girly stuff like painting and sewing; that I'm an expert at baking and cooking. My grades and grace are things that every elite family would kill for. He says that mother and father adore their perfect daughter. See he's wrong. Perry is the perfect son. He's athletic, smart, charming and kind._

_He sent in his application to the auror department today. Julius sent his in too. I'm scared for them. I love my brother and my Jules above everything. I don't think that I could live without them. Jules told me that once school is over he plans to ask my father for my hand. That's ridiculous though! My parents adore both of the Galen siblings. I adore both of them. Apolline is the sister I always wanted and Julius is the love of my life. We're a nice group; Leander, Julius, Pericles, Apolline, and myself. I can imagine us raising our children together and growing old. Perry would be the uncle that traveled the world on dangerous auror missions and loves to spoil __Julius's children and my__._

_I had the strangest dream the other evening. I could see myself holding this baby. He looked like an angel. I swear this child had these vivid gold eyes and gold hair. It wasn't blonde; it was a small tuft of golden hair. The child didn't look much like me, but he had my jaw and dimples. It was strange to see a child like that. My sons will have Julius's black hair and my green eyes. My daughter, that's if I ever have one, will have Julius's ocean blue eyes and my red hair. I can see it so perfectly. My future is a truly lovely castle in the sky._

* * *

Lily shut the book. She couldn't read that. Her mum's life before she met William Gastor seemed so perfect. And it ended so tragically. Two deaths destroyed a world that Lily would never know. She knew the truth now. Her mum lost her brother and first love to the same man who took her parents. The last member of the Lilius family, Judea, was rotting away in a cell for attacking her niece, only to hit her nephew with the curse instead. They were such a twisted, broken family. But Lily didn't know that the Lilius family's last remaining true member, Judea Gladstone, would be dead before the end of the year.

She stood and threw the book into her bag. Lily checked the clock and saw that it was time. She grabbed her bag and wrapped her cloak tightly around her shoulders. Lily exited the Gryffindor Tower with a set expression. She had work to do. She headed down to the grounds and welcomed the chilled air. Marlene had healed her hand and all that remained was a puckered scar, which would fade to nothing within a day.

Lily stood in front of the Black Lake and waited. She could see the waves of the water lapping at the bank. The sky wasn't exactly clear. It was muggy and covered in thin clouds. Wind whipped through the scene and leaves fell to the ground in a slow glide. She left her bag near the white barked tree by the lake and walked back to her stance near the bank of the river. Her eyes shut and Lily breathed in the clear air.

" It's a bit chilly? Want me to warm you up with a kiss?" a voice purred. Hot breath hit Lily's ear and she opened her eyes. He was finally here. Lily quickly turned and shoved Potter's body away. His hair stood up in random clumps and he wore a pair of shorts and a long sleeve t-shirt. Lily scowled at him and crossed her arms with a frown. Potter tried to move closer to her so she kicked him in the shin. He let out a grunt of pain and his eyes flashed with rage. Lily froze as he walked up to her. She waited until his angry face was only inches from hers before she pulled her arm back and made a fist. Something cracked and Potter let out a curse. She looked down at her hand and Potter was clutching his nose. Lily watched him take his wand out and fix his nose with an angered expression. She held her arms down by her sides and he met her eyes. Dried blood was still on his face. Potter pushed his chest against her and Lily glared up at him.

" What made you stupid enough to punch me?" Potter hissed. Lily met his eyes and narrowed hers. He actually looked angry; Lily took a limited burst of joy from that. She licked her lips and Potter's eyes looked down at them.

" Why did you hurt him? He's dying Potter. Michael is fucking dying," Lily seethed. Potter looked up and smirked. He relaxed and wrapped an arm around her waist. He tapped her nose and Lily jerked her head away from him.

" I told you that I don't like it when people play with what belongs to me," Potter announced. Lily tensed and felt a pang of pain enter her. She blinked and met Potter's eyes with a fierce stare.

" You're so petty Potter! Michael is my friend; I never had feelings for him. He is dying because you are possessive and just cruel. Don't you see? I can't stand to even look at you anymore. It was one low blow to beat up Davies but it's plain inhumane to almost kill my friend," Lily roared. She shoved Potter off her and clenched her fists. Potter's eyes flashed dangerously. A storm of anger and rage appeared in his eyes.

" Lily you didn't seem to understand my first warning. I'm letting you continue to pretend to be a muggleborn, if you continue to annoy me then I'll make sure that Jason tells Malfoy the truth about who you really are," Potter threatened. Lily bristled and pushed her body against his. She couldn't stand that arrogant smirk.

" Jason would never do that to me," Lily snarled. Potter looked down at her with something close to pity. He grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head and threw it to the ground.

Lily blushed and looked away from his chest and abdomen. Quidditch practice and good genes had left Potter with a chiseled six-pack of amber skin. Potter turned and showed Lily a single tattoo engraved on the surface of his right upper arm. She remembered seeing the same exact tattoo on Black. The four animals in the crest seemed to almost glow on Potter's arm.

" The brotherhood of the Marauders Evans. Nothing, not family or love is stronger than it. Even being a death eater isn't as important as our bond. Jason may be your brother but he is mine first," Potter explained. Lily knew that he was right. Jason took a slicing jinx for her, but there were still limits to family. Lily hoped that she would never be alive to see to see Jason choose between her or Potter.

" That means nothing to me Potter. I couldn't give a damn about your blackmail. My friend is going to die since you were so selfish. I can't marry you Potter. You're too hateful and dangerous. You hurt the people I love," Lily exclaimed. Potter's eyes flashed as he moved to wrap his arms around the troubled girl. The sun has just started to rise and its light hit the pair. Lily tried to fight him but he shushed her.

" Lily your words mean nothing to me. I assure you that if I wanted, I could have you turn into one of those whores who follow me around," Potter stated in factual voice. Lily gulped and bit her lip.

" What's stopping you from doing that once you turn seventeen?" Lily asked in a bitter voice. Potter grabbed her chin and shoved her face to his. She looked into his eyes with surprise.

" Because you're a fighter. I want to see you willingly submit to me," Potter answered. Lily jerked her chin out of his grip and shoved his arms away. She walked over to the tree and grabbed her bag from the ground.

" Potter I will never give you the pleasure of seeing me walk down that aisle willingly. I will never forgive you if Michael dies because you were a petty asshole," Lily finished. Her voice was calm and cold, but that didn't keep a slight accent from warping into her words. Lily could see a bolt of pain flash into Potter's eyes. She turned and walked away from him victoriously, but victory didn't seem so sweet when her friend was in the hospital wing dying.

* * *

Over the next few days, Lily alternated her hours to keep herself distracted from reality. She spent innumerable amounts of time in the library and on the Quidditch pitch. She knew that Marlene had informed her friends that Lily's bed hadn't been slept in for over five days. Michael was being moved to Mungos on Saturday evening. Her teachers shot her concerned looks when she stopped using concealment charms on the bags below her eyes. Lily didn't see a point in using them. What was the point in hiding how she really was doing? She avoided meals since Potter and his gangs of arses were always staring at her. Instead Lily lived off practically nothing. It took her two days to run out of work. She planned out every Quidditch practice until the upcoming Gryffindor-Ravenclaw game. She did every homework assignment and extra credit for the next month. Lily read so much that her eyes protested whenever she looked at letters.

She couldn't fly though. It reminded her too much of Michael. It killed her that her friend would never be able to fly again. The healers didn't let her or anyone near him. They were getting morbid about his condition. Lily was losing it and everybody around her could see that. On Friday morning, Lily sat in Herbology taking a set of notes on some hybrid plant breed from the coast of Spain. She could feel Jason watching her and gritted her teeth. Lily couldn't afford to think about him. When she thought about him she thought about Potter and when she thought about Potter she remember Michael. Lily shoved a strand of her hair away before angrily shoving it up into a tight bun worthy of Professor McGonagall. She rubbed her eyes and could feel the deep indentations of her black circles. A snobby Ravenclaw asked if someone had punched her; Lily almost punched her.

She looked down at the bandage still wrapped around her left hand. Her detentions with Malfoy ended on Wednesday, but the deep scar didn't leave. Lily rubbed the bandage and felt a bolt of pain lance through her hand. She felt her magic try to escape and quickly barked and thrashed at it. Lily was not in the mood to deal with her magic's dramatics. She picked up her quill and started scrawling out a set of notes. Lily bit her lip when she felt a ball of paper hit her back. She scowled and internally wanted to hex Marlene. Lily had to avoid her friends. She couldn't look at them without seeing Michael's ravaged back and his blood. Every time she thought of him, Lily could see the fire rising and choking her to death. She couldn't show weakness, especially with Malfoy subbing as the DADA teacher until the new one showed up. He was a menace to the school; Lily often comforted a crying second year over his cruel lessons. She had to keep herself together; even though she knew that there was going to be an inevitable fall.

Her quill snapped and Lily watched as it lit ablaze. She didn't notice that Jason threw the quill to the ground and shot her a worried look. Lily just reached into her bag and pulled another quill out and continued writing. Her hands were constantly trembling. She was like a hyperactive dog; Lily was a ticking time bomb. The only question was when she'd blow up. When the period ended, Lily was already out of the classroom. She couldn't stand the stares or the questions people wanted to ask her. They didn't understand what she was going through. Michael's pain was her fault. She could have said that bloody name that day when they were being tortured. She could have stopped her magic sooner and prevented the explosion. She could've not taken Michael up to the Shrieking Shack that day. She should've stayed in the grounds with him. Then none of this would've ever happened. The shame and guilt that Lily shoved away was coming back. All of this was her fault.

It was her fault that Michael was in the hospital wing dying. It was her fault that Adam and Emmeline were fighting over Merlin knows what. It was her fault that Marlene and Fabian spent lunch only staring at each other, but never touching. It was her fault that Frank was beating himself up over the fact that a werewolf in the forest could've mauled her and Adam. It was her fault that the world was falling apart. She was a walking train wreck. Since there was a double Herbology period, Lily had lunch then History of Magic. She walked into the Great Hall for the first time in weeks. What she saw made her stop walking. Standing near the front of the room, with a ring on his finger and a scar slicing across his neck, was her sun. Galen Kingsmill in all of his auror glory stood in the front of the Great Hall.

Lily immediately sprinted towards him and threw her body around his. He tensed for a minute but relaxed when he saw Lily's green eyes. Galen wrapped his arms around her and Lily sobbed openly into his shoulder. She knew that people were watching her, but honestly Lily didn't care. She needed someone to be her beacon of light in the world of darkness that she was trapped in. Galen pulled her down the hall and led her outside. But Lily didn't notice; she just needed him. Galen pulled her up and frowned at the sight of the deep bags under her eyes and the taut skin on her face.

" What are you doing here? I thought you had a mission for the next two weeks" Lily asked. Her friend squeezed her shoulder and stood up with a straight back. Lily watched the horrific scar on his neck ripple as he ran a hand through his hair.

" I finished it early Rose. Bagnold has barely any control over the Ministry, but once she heard about the son of two famous and deceased aurors being attacked to the brink of death, she decided to send some aurors to Hogwarts. I volunteered since Lucretia is out of commission thanks to a nasty cruciatus and fire spell combo. Bishop and Moody are back, but Moody's got some new, err, body parts. I heard that France is declaring its loyalty to the British Ministry after a bad giant attack up north. They've sent a few aurors over including a pal of mine. He's due to arrive soon actually," Galen explained in a low voice.

Lily nodded and crossed her arms. The last she heard of France was that it was leaning towards Voldemort's efforts. Things must be really bad there for them to side with the Ministry here. She could feel Galen's eyes analyzing her figure but he didn't say anything.

" Michael Wood is a very close friend of mine. I was going to ask him to be my dueling partner when I turn seventeen," Lily stated. Galen sucked in a breath and looked over at the Black Lake. Lily knew what had happened to Galen's past dueling partner, Tristan Everett. The boy was Galen's best friend from the Athenian School of Sorcery. He had planned to be an auror just like Galen, but during their training he got caught by a rogue vampire. His body was found dry of blood and Galen never forgot about it.

" I didn't know that Rose. Shit I should've written more," Galen muttered more to himself. Lily didn't answer immediately. She looked at the lake with dry eyes and cleared her throat.

" How'd Bagnold get aurors past the School Governors?" Lily asked. Galen grinned sheepishly and indicated to his robes.

" Easy. She said that the best people to teach DADA were the ones who actually knew about the subject. Starting Monday I'll be teaching sixth and seventh years. Call me Professor Kingsmill," Galen teased. Lilt raised her eyebrows and mulled this over. Galen knew more that most aurors in England about werewolves and Dark creatures. He could take down a death eater or army of inferi in seconds. He was the best choice to teach the future witches and wizards of England. Yet he was so young. Galen was only two years older than Lily. But he was old for his age.

" I prefer Gale," Lily said dryly. Galen smiled at her and shoved her lightly. Lily ruffled his hair mockingly and turned to the castle. She couldn't risk skiving off any more classes. Galen walked with her to Herbology.

" Dad is doing well according to Selena. She stops by on weekends to visit him. Your brother, Pericles, works with him so he updates Selena. I think she has a crush on him," Galen informed Lily. She nodded and bit the side of her lip. Mr. Kingsmill wrote to her about Pericles asking for Selena's hand in marriage. Lily didn't know if she should tell Galen the extent of their siblings' relationships.

They walked in silence through the castle. Lily could see Galen looking around the castle with a curious eye. Hogwarts wasn't anything like the sprawling ruins in Greece or the Athenian School of Sorcery, which was located in the sea on a remote island that only wizards and witches could get on. When the pair reached the History of Magic classroom, Galen handed Lily her bag and pressed a light kiss to her cheek. She frowned but he leaned in to her ear.

" I have to talk to you. It's about your aunt Judea," Galen whispered. He pulled up and Lily nodded. She heard someone clear his throat and looked behind Galen.

" Excuse me Lily and I have class," Potter hissed from behind the auror. Galen shot him a troubled look before letting him walk through. Potter walked into the classroom without a glance back.

"I should go, I've got some work to do," Galen muttered. He squeezed Lily's shoulder and walked away. His gold robes swayed behind him. Lily bit her lip as a grin spread across her face; she hadn't smiled for the past five days. Her feet carried her into the classroom and she pulled out her notes for History of Magic. The bell rang and Professor Binns began speaking about the spread of Magic in the early days of the Greek Empire. Lily knew most of the notes since in Greece that was their History of Magic. Yet she wrote every word in meticulous handwriting.

" How's Wood doing? I heard that he doesn't have much time before they send him to Mungos," a deep voice asked. Lily's fingers tightened around her quill and she remained impassive. Her quill scrawled out two more sentences before Potter finally touched her. He moved for her waist and Lily twisted his arm away. She didn't look up; Lily refused to acknowledge Potter for the past five days. Whenever she looked at him, she could hear his cruel words. She could see him hurting Michael.

" I see that your auror pal is here. Why did he come to the castle? I doubt it's to make sure that you're safe," Potter jeered. Lily clenched her jaw but didn't show a single reaction. That was what Potter wanted. He wanted to see her break and snap at him. Lily couldn't give him that pleasure. Michael was dying since she even bothered to interact with Potter. Lily owed that much to her friend. For the rest of the class, Potter kept trying to goad her. But he seemed to forget that Lily came from a household of five older brothers and dealt with a year of being a joke; she could handle Potter's cruelties.

" Evans it's up to you to talk. I can continue this all day but I'm sure that you can't. I'm not going to leave you alone until you speak to me," Potter threatened. Lily gulped and looked over at him with a cold glare.

" Potter I have nothing to say to you," Lily answered. She didn't notice how hoarse her voice was from lack of use. When she turned to face Potter, he seemed to notice the telltale signs of pain and grief on her face. His eyes flickered with pain when he saw the huge circles under Lily's eyes. Her voice had traces of agony and hatred in it. Her words warped with an accent she didn't even bother to hide.

"Evans why are you doing this to yourself?" Potter whispered. His fingers grazed her collarbones and Lily pulled back. She couldn't take Potter's comforting touch; Lily deserved all of the torments she brought on to herself. She knew that her robes were hanging from her figure due to her lack of interest in food. But everybody had his or her own way to grieve; Lily wasn't grieving. She was killing herself over the fact that her friend could be dying a painful agonizing death and it would be all her fault. She was to blame for Michael's suffering.

"Potter I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't close my eyes without reliving every nightmare or demon I've ever been through. I keep seeing Michael in pain. I can't do this anymore, I can't be around you," Lily croaked. She shoved her stuff into her bag and stood. Her chair scraped against the surface of the floor as she ran from the classroom. She could feel Potter's hot gaze on her back as she ran. But Lily was breaking, and to keep herself together she had to run. Running from her problems saved her in the past and Lily could only do that. Her friends were in the Gryffindor Common Room so Lily couldn't go there. She stopped outside of an empty corridor on the seventh floor and caught her ragged breath. Lily's fingers were clenched shut and she could barely breathe. She was drowning in a crippling grief.

But Lily shoved it away. She had to be strong, not for herself but for the school. The students needed someone to carry their burdens for them and Lily promised Professor Dumbledore that she would be there for them. So instead of falling to the floor and bawling, Lily gathered the broken pieces of her heart and made her way to the library. She found a group of Hufflepuffs struggling over an assignment from DADA and assisted them. Lily comforted a second year Ravenclaw whose sister was on the missing column of the Daily Prophet. She pushed her own problems into a cabinet and locked them away. People needed her to help them, and Lily had do it.

While she was helping several first years with some Charms homework, the air in the library changed. Lily could feel the students staring at something. She turned and brushed a strand of hair that fell from her bun out of her eye. Standing in the entrance to the library was someone Lily never thought to see in England. She made eye contact with the man and frowned. The man walked up to her and pulled her away from the group of students she was helping.

" Auror Alex Moody you look healthy. How are things in France?" Lily asked. She analyzed the tall man in front of her. He looked safe and glowed with health. His hair was cropped short to his temple and the blue robes of the French auror department adorned his body. His mouth was pulled into a frown.

" As well as things can be during a war. I was selected to represent France in the battle against Voldemort. I got sent here when my partner died. Lily I know who you are," Alex explained. Lily frowned and he led her out of the library. They stood in the hallway that led to the library. Lily knew that Darcy Auclair's charm worked to prevent people from knowing who she was. But she let Moody remember her. Sometimes it's good to have a few hidden allies.

" Miss Gastor you once owned the previous estate of Darcy Auclair, correct?" Alex asked. Lily nodded and stared at him in confusion.

" Last week there was a death eater massacre in a town close to the manor. A few of them lit the manor ablaze when they discovered that muggles lived in the house. The muggle family burned inside and there weren't any survivors," Alex explained. Lily felt her gut twist in pain. That house was her home for three years. She felt guilt pound at her; innocent people died since she couldn't bear the thought of owning that house. Lily quickly shoved her feelings away and met Moody's stare with a blank face.

" I don't see how that's my problem Auror Moody. Now if you'll excuse me I have some work to attend to," Lily announced. She shoved past Moody with a careless air and headed down the hallway. Lily ignored the stares from groups of judgmental students as she headed down to the Great Hall. It was dinner and Lily only had three hours before she was due to meet with Auror Tonks. She ignored her friends and took a seat at the front of the Gryffindor table.

With a book in her hand Lily tried to eat, yet the sense of what was coming made her lose any hunger. This was it; the solution to her main problem was in sight. She could free herself and any other purebloods trying to get out of their betrothals. But a question sat inside of her head. If Andromeda knew how to get out of a betrothal then why hadn't she told anyone how to get out of it? But Lily couldn't afford to have thoughts like that. She had to push her emotions away in order to hold herself together.

She looked up from her plate and saw that Galen and three other aurors were sitting at the head table. He looked down at her and stared at her hand with critical eyes. Lily pushed her sleeve down to hide the bandage hiding her scar and ducked her head. She brushed some flyaway hairs from her face and stood on unsteady feet. She grabbed her bag and left the hall, barely holding her broken pieces together. Lily slid into her dorm and changed into a set of less conspicuous clothing. She transfigured her hair to a muddy brown before tying it into a bun. After several failed attempts at altering her eye color, Lily finally managed to get her eyes to settle on a mix of dark green and brown. She rubbed smudged makeup on her face to hide her creamy skin before slipping a long robe on. Marlene and Emmeline were spending their evenings either in the Common Room or in the boys' dorm.

She grabbed her wand from the surface of her bedspread and shoved a pair of dragon hide's skin boots on. Lily checked the clock on the wall of the room and saw that she had an hour before she was due to meet Andromeda. She reached into her bracelet and pulled her Gastor family ring out. Right before her hand exited the charm, it grazed a sharp edge. Lily jumped in surprise and dropped the ring inside of the charm. She reached for it and grabbed the sharp object from the bracelet. A knife with a gilded handle came out with her familiar Gastor family ring. Lily left the ring on her bed and frowned at the knife.

She remembered this knife from the train ride to school. It was the one she had slipped on and cut her hand. Lily frowned; the knife was supposed to be covered in a layer of dried blood, but the blade was a stainless hue. Only one type of weapon could lose the blood on it like that. The knife was goblin-made. Lily stared at the knife in wonder. The hilt was rich material with engraftments on it. Lily could tell that the symbols were in Latin. Before the blade rose from the knife, there was a pattern of diamonds and emeralds. The blade was a straight rich silver color. Lily tipped her finger on the edge of the knife and felt a lightning-like sensation rip through her. This blade was old and charmed with intense magic.

Only one type of person could own a knife like this. Lily paled at her thoughts. The knife must have belonged to a pureblood family for generations. She looked for any family crests on the knife but there were none. The mystery of the knife confused Lily. Usually no one preferred to use the back cars of the train. Someone must have lured people to the back. But Lily couldn't remember anyone showing up to school bleeding, other than herself. A flash of a memory suddenly hit her. During the carriage ride to the school, Black was hiding his arm. Lily could remember a distant etch of pain on his face as he downed a bottle of firewhiskey. Black must have attacked someone on the train. Lily scowled at the knife and kept it inside of her bracelet. She would confront Black about that later.

Lily grabbed her ring and shoved it into her bracelet without a second thought. She took it out for all the wrong reasons; Lily wanted the lack of feelings she was feeling to engulf her. But that was wrong; she couldn't do that to Michael. He wouldn't want her to give up. Lily was strong enough to keep fighting. She grabbed her wand and left the dorm, ready to face the truth.

With the use of a good disillusionment charm, Lily was standing in front of the statue of the hump-backed one-eyed witch. She took her wand out and leaned over the statue.

" Dissendium," Lily whispered. She glanced around the hallway before jumping into the hole in the witch's hump. When she landed on the mat at the bottom of the slide, Lily stood and wrapped her cloak around her figure. She followed the path with the assistance of lumos and made her way to the cellar of Honeydukes. After tiptoeing through the store, Lily left a stone behind the door and made her way to the Hog's Head. Lily opened the door and wrinkled her nose from the stench of alcohol and vomit. She could see the center bar from her perch by the door and made her way to it. The bartender didn't even look at her. But Lily tugged on his shirt. He turned and Lily met a face that looked oddly familiar.

" Professor Dumbledore?" Lily asked with a frown. The man grimaced and cleared his throat.

" Lass that's my brother. I'm Aberforth, owner of the Hog's Head, now what can I get you?" the man announced. Lily nodded and tapped her fingers along the surface of the table. She didn't know that Dumbledore had a brother, but everyone was allowed to have his or her secrets. A few of the bars' patrons looked over at her with hungry leers. Lily bit her lip and met the old bartender's eyes.

" I need some red currant rum," Lily asked. The bartender's eyes lit up with realization. He moved from behind the bar and walked over to Lily.

" Follow me lass," Aberforth ordered. Lily stood and walked behind the man. He led her to the back of the pub and through a small door. Lily frowned when she noticed that they were standing in the small alley of the pub. She turned to address Aberforth but he was already gone. Suddenly a figure emerged from the shadows. Lily grabbed her wand, but relaxed when the figure pulled her hood down; it was Tonks. Suddenly the woman flew at Lily at pressed her wand against Lily's throat.

" What was the name of the muggle boy on that train who you were friends with?" Andromeda barked. Lily choked for air and the woman relaxed a bit.

" Harland, Harland Evans," Lily gasped. Andromeda let go of her and Lily slumped against the grimy wall of the alley. Andromeda shot her a sympathetic look and cleared her throat. She ran a hand through her deep black hair and leaned against the wall of the alley.

" There was a break in at the potions storage for the Ministry. Lots of Polyjuice and Veritaserum were stolen. No one is ever too safe. You need to work on your disguises. That hair is starting to look more and more red. And you can't just change your eyes, you've got to change your features," Andromeda explained. Lily nodded and straightened her back. She would have to take a page from the aurors' book and start doing that. Lily knew that times were getting darker; there weren't too many people she could trust. She looked at Andromeda's figure and examined the auror. She looked so tired that it scared Lily. Andromeda's hair was out and Lily could see a few white hairs in the main of blackness. Shadows and dark bags surrounded her eyes. Tonks's face was taut and she looked pale. Andromeda looked like the typical witch of their time.

" So Lily why are you so interested in my relationship with Julius Gastor?" Andromeda asked. Lily bit her lip when she woman grimaced from saying her old fiancé's name. She cleared her throat and pulled the hood of her cloak down.

" I'm worried about Marlene. Marlene loves Fabian and he loves her but since she's stuck in a betrothal with Black she can never be with Fabian. Black turns seventeen in December," Lily explained. Andromeda's features pulled back in a frown.

" Lily I know what you're asking for. Look it's complicated. I would have told all my friends who were trapped in betrothals about how to get out if I could. But I can't, it puts someone in jeopardy," Andromeda explained. Lily's heart fell and she stared at the woman with despair.

"McKinnon's situation is different from mine. She'll never get out of her betrothal," Tonks commented. Lily frowned and crossed her arms.

" Why not?" Lily asked. Andromeda leaned up and met Lily's eyes with a furious stare.

" Lily I know that you want to help your friend. But she's not going to be saved. I only got out of my betrothal thanks to Julius's dad and Black's dad is the biggest supporter of McKinnon's betrothal," Tonks snorted. Lily frowned; what did her dad have to do with this?

" Tell Marlene that she should just break up with Fabian and accept her fate," Tonks sighed. She moved to leave the alley but Lily leaped up and grabbed the auror's hand with a desperate plea. The woman turned and saw Lily's beseeching expression. Lily tugged the clasp of her cloak off and exposed her collarbone. A light rain started as she pointed her wand at the hollow of her collarbone. Tonks's eyes widened and rain fell as a gold star appeared on Lily's skin.

" You're a Gastor?" Tonks asked in a breathless voice. Lily's mouth was dry and she cleared her throat. Tonks had to know the truth for Lily to get any information out of her. Lily had to know how Tonks was able to get out of her betrothal; not just for Marlene, but also for herself. One more liability, one more person to know the truth; but it would be worth it.

"Andromeda, I'm asking you as my friend to tell me what my dad did to get you out of your betrothal," Lily pleaded. She needed this answer so badly. Lily was barely on the edge of sanity; her hope was waning.

" You look awfully similar to your mum with your hair like that. But your smile looks like your dad's. You owe me an explanation. I'll tell you my story after you tell me yours," Tonks started. Rain fell from the dark sky in sentries, but Lily didn't care. She was getting the truth; she was getting an answer. After she told Tonks the truth about who she was and what happened to her Tonks leaned back with a calculating expression.

" I think that I remember you. Wow, I knew that Mr. Gastor was powerful but I didn't know that he was strong enough to place a spell to wipe your presence from every person that knew you," Tonks mused. Lily bit her lip but didn't disagree. Yet Lily was sure that Dumbledore had been the one to cast that spell. But that was his secret; Lily had to be careful with what she trusted Tonks with.

" I guess it's my turn then," Tonks started. After using an umbrella charm Tonks faced Lily and looked into the distance. She seemed to be remembering buried memories.

" One of my biggest shames is what I did to your brother. I met your brother when I was eleven at my entrance to society ball. I can still remember his ruffled gold curls and his eyes. I remember our first dance and how when I stepped on his feet he smiled encouragingly at me. You may not believe this, but your brother used to be sweet. When we went to Hogwarts, and when I was sorted into Gryffindor, my family was so ashamed of me. But your brother stood by my side. He didn't let any of the Slytherins make fun of me, even his friends. I was friends with the Dearborn brothers and a witch named Fantine Fortescue. She moved to France at the start of the war but I still visit her dad; he owes the ice cream parlor in Diagon Alley.

Anyways, Julius and I continued to be friends even though there were differences in our houses. The war sort of disappeared when I was with him. Everything changed in my fifth year when I became a prefect. I was partnered to patrol with this scrawny muggleborn Hufflepuff by the name of Ted Tonks. It was then that the war hit me. My friends began to lose family members to the war, while mine were the ones killing them. During the next two years I was constantly on the edge of being a blood traitor. The only thing that kept me from becoming one was my friendship with Julius. We started dating in my sixth year. Everybody assumed that I made my choice when we did. They thought that I chose to side with Voldemort. But Ted didn't. All my friends left me at the start of my seventh year when Julius and I were made heads, everybody but Ted. If it weren't for Ted I would probably be married to Julius or be his widower.

During Christmas break, I went to the Christmas ball, which was held in the Longbottom Manor that year. I think I had too much to drink and Julius and I ended up in one of the spare bedrooms. That's when I saw his dark mark. He didn't pressure me into anything, but something changed that night. I was breaking; I couldn't marry a death eater. When graduation came I was suicidal. Julius never used the compulsion charms on me, but I was paranoid. The night before graduation I stood on the edge of the Astronomy Tower ready to jump. Ted found me and managed to keep me from jumping. That night I showed Ted all of the research I'd done on the betrothal and he kissed me. It was the first time someone other than Julius kissed me. He told me that he loved me, and I realized that I loved him too. But it was forgotten by the next morning thanks to my betrothal. Our wedding was set for August and I was dreading every day leading up to it. Julius wouldn't let me apply to the auror department and he tried to get me to become a healer or something less dangerous. I started to hate him for that. But it wasn't his fault; it was no one's fault.

On the morning of my wedding, I was all set and ready to go in the Gastor manor when your dad stopped by my room. I can remember him closing the door and facing me with a frown. I never thought that your dad could be such a horrid parent, like mine, but he was. He told me that he knew about my tryst with a muggleborn and that he wanted me to leave the wedding before it even started. I asked him why and he told me that Julius was too soft; that the Dark Lord would send Julius on a mission and that when Julius failed, the Dark Lord would kill him. Your dad said that the only thing that was keeping Julius from becoming a true man was me. He told me that Julius loved me too much, that he couldn't keep love from his work. Your dad said that if I cared about Julius at all that I shouldn't marry him. I asked him how and he told me that when pureblood betrothals are created the father of the groom has control over the spell work that keeps the bride and groom together until the wedding. He removed the contract only minutes ago and no one would know. I thanked him and left the Gastor Manor. I made it to the drive of it when I saw Ted standing there waiting for me.

We left together and soon after I married him. He worked with the Hit Wizards and I was accepted to work in the auror department. My little sister Narcissa wrote to me once and told me that my name got blasted from the family tree. I didn't see your brother for a few years. Dora was at home with Ted one night and I was on a mission with Bishop. We got caught and we were tied to these trees in some forest in Ireland. Julius took his hood off and his eyes filled with pain when he saw me. Turns out that he kept tabs on me ever since Hogwarts. He tortured me and the only thing I could think about through all that pain, was how I left him because I loved him.

In the end my love may have saved him from death, but I doubt that the Julius I once loved would have wanted to become that monster that tortured me. Later, backup came and he left before anyone saw him. I didn't want him to end up like that. But on the morning of my wedding I was so emotional and I didn't want him to die. In the end I met him in a death eater massacre in Sheffield. He looked me in the eyes and walked into the flames that he created," Andromeda explained.

Lily could hear her voice altering with pain; this woman in front of her did everything she could to help someone she loved. But Andromeda never loved Julius the way she was supposed to. Julius loved her with all his heart and that broke him; he died from heartache. It just took a long time to kill him. Sometimes love can be a poison that kills in seconds. Other times, it works its way into every single cell in someone's body and slowly and painfully chokes them to death. In the case of Julius Gastor, it took its sweet time killing him.

" I'm sorry Lily. But James Potter's parents died. The contract sealed with their deaths. I'm so sorry that you are trapped," Andromeda explained softly. She moved to wrap her arms in a motherly way around Lily, but Lily shoved the woman away from her. She blinked harshly and felt tears rise to her eyes; Lily really was trapped. All of her hopes and dreams were crushed in a swift movement thanks to the death of Charlus Potter. Even then, Lily would never be able to convince him to let her out of the betrothal.

" No, I can't do this Andromeda. I can't marry Potter. I bloody hate him! You left my brother to keep him from dying, but Potter will kill me. Every single time I look at him I keep seeing suffering. I keep seeing my friends getting hurt. He hurts people when I don't bend to him. I just want to be free and Potter is a cage," Lily shouted. She could barely hold herself together; with one more blow Lily would finally fall apart for the first time in years. Before Tonks could answer her, Lily ran from the alley and towards the streets of Hogsmeade. She couldn't face her problems; Lily had to run in order to live. She brushed past crowds of people and made her way to the outskirts of the village.

Lily stood near the Shrieking Shack when she stopped running. She stared at it and froze with horror. Memories flooded into her mind and Lily fell to the ground. She couldn't do this; it was too hard to fight her memories. Lily let the horrors of what happened to her in June wash over her. She could feel Michael's lips on hers and a spell hitting her. Lily could feel pain running over her with unbearable agony. She clawed at her wrists and felt chains burn her skin. She could see Michael contorting in pain and a sadistic grin flashing in front of her face. Suddenly everything disappeared and Lily felt someone touch her. She gasped and choked for air as comfort swam through her. Her eyes opened and Lily met Potter's worried hazel eyes. For a moment she relaxed in his hold, but then memories of what happened hit her. Lily felt him pull her up and hold her in his arms. She shoved him away and stared at him with torment.

" Lily what are you doing here? You should be in the castle," Potter asked. His eyebrows twisted in concern. Lily couldn't deal with Potter. She grabbed her wand from the pocket of her cloak and shoved past him. Potter grabbed her arm and Lily made a noise of protest. He flung her to his body and Lily stared up at his eyes with pain.

" Just leave me alone Potter. I can't deal with you now," Lily hissed. Potter froze in pain and she moved out of his hold and towards the village. He watched her leave, unable to do anything due to a burning sensation in his arm. James Potter had a plan, and if his plan worked then Lily wouldn't be scared to love him anymore. He dissaparated from the spot with a foreboding expression.

The thing about James and Lily was that they were too afraid of love to acknowledge it. Lily's love was so powerful, but people took it for granted too many times. James's love was the mere definition of passion, yet he was afraid of love. It would take time and peril for Lily and James to admit that they loved each other. But don't worry, there's a lot of time and peril in the lives of James Potter and Lily Evans.

* * *

_I'm breaking at the seams. I can barely hold myself together and no one sees how much I'm breaking. William is too distracted trying to keep our sons alive. I had to obliviate Dorea, so she doesn't remember anything._

_I haven't spoken to Leander or Apolline in decades but I need a friend right now. Today I received word from Greece that my mother and father are dead. I had William write back to send Lily to France. Dorea told me that France was an excellent place to grow up; I can only hope that Lily likes it there. It's been years since I've spoken to Lily, but I love her so much that I can let her go. She's stronger than her brothers. But that will be her downfall. Lily can't face her feelings. She puts other in front of herself and pushes her feelings away. I know this because that is what I did when I left Athens. I couldn't face Perry and Julius's deaths, so I ran at first sight. I wish that Lily were different from me. I didn't want her to have my flaws. But at the same time I didn't want her to have William's bigotry. Thinking of my daughter is too hard. The boys went with William for a trip and only Jason remained at home. He is only twelve, too young to attend Death Eater meetings._

_Jason's friends are quite rambunctious. Dumbledore tells me of their mischief when we meet up for tea every week. They are outside playing Quidditch. I should call them inside; it's due to snow soon. I'm in no mood to deal with my emotions. Jason's friends are a group that surprised me for a moment. William was simply delighted when Jason befriended the son of his old mate Orion Black. He was even more delighted by Jason's closeness with James Potter. Remus Lupin I think is my favorite. He isn't aware that I know that he is a werewolf but that isn't my business anymore. Not many people would think that Mrs. Delphina Gastor mother of si- I mean five, ambassador for the Greek Ministry, and excellent cauldron cake maker was trained to hunt werewolves since youth. But that is my past and Remus Lupin isn't anything like the werewolves of Greece. He is a quiet boy from my appraisal. I'm proud of Jason for being so open-minded. Maybe there is hope for him after all._

_I must put my quill down. The boys have returned from the pitch. I can already hear their noise._

* * *

Lily closed her mum's notebook and rubbed her tired eyes. She was sitting outside of the hospital wing waiting for news on Michael. If his condition didn't improve, the healers were taking him to Mungos in a few hours. Lily felt bile rise in her throat from that idea. She put her mum's notebook inside of her bracelet and rubbed her forehead. Lily hadn't gotten a single moment of sleep the previous night. She couldn't sleep when so much dread was inside of her. Lily could barely contain her feelings behind the main one she pushed on herself; indifference.

Her friends were inside of the hospital wing, so Lily couldn't go there. She was breaking, and facing her friends would make her break even faster. Lily winced when she felt her collarbones from under her fingers. She would have to eat later. That evening, there was an Order meeting. Lily planned to go but she would have to speak to her friends in order to do so.

Lily sat up and stretched her back. She canceled Quidditch practice even though there was a game on the following weekend. None of the Gryffindors were in shape to practice. Michael's condition had affected Gryffindor House as a whole. People stopped by to see how he was doing on a daily basis. Lily couldn't look at him; she was too weak to even comfort him. Her nightmares made fear incase her soul. She couldn't blink without seeing his battered form.

Her feet dragged her over to the large window by the end of the corridor. Outside of her bubble of misery the world did not stop. Autumn was in full bloom. Leaves took hues of faded oranges and russet reds. An eternal crisp wind existed.

Seasons were something new for Lily. Beauxabatons was located in the Pyrenees Mountain range in southern France. It was mostly warm there and winters were slightly chilly. The Athenian School for Sorcery was in a Mediterranean location; there wasn't much coldness. The drastic changes in weather, which were present in England, were new to Lily. The snow and the concise weather patterns enthralled her.

Her fingers tapped out a rhythm against the cold stone of the wall. Lily wrinkled her nose at the garish nail polish adorning her fingernails. Before Halloween, Marlene had insisted on painting Lily's nails a loud shade of red. Over the past week, the polish had chipped away. Lily would have to remove it later. Her eyes looked towards the open door of the hospital wing and Lily bit her lip. She had to go inside eventually.

Her legs dragged her over to the door and Lily took a deep breath as she entered the hospital wing. It smelled of antiseptic and had a foreboding air to it. Lily saw a flash of steel gray and saw Emmeline looking at her. She could see her friends standing near a bed with sad expressions. Lily's mouth dried as she walked over to the bed. She almost fainted at the red stains on the bandages wrapped around Michael's waist. Emmeline reached out and grabbed Lily's hand with a reassuring touch. Lily looked up at the girl.

Emmeline Vance looked troubled. Her chestnut hair didn't bounce with curls. It seemed weighed down by the world. Her steel gray eyes were filled with pain and sorrow. But Adam was there for her, and that was enough for the girl. Adam's usual tall and strong form was crippled by the weight of grief. Dark circles surrounded his eyes and his hair stood up in a chaotic mess. But Emmeline held her hand around his shoulder supportively. Lily wished that she could have someone to support her like Adam or Emmeline. But her friends were enough for her.

She looked over at Alice and Frank. Alice's hair was cropped to the edge of her chin in a cruel bob. It's honey color, which entranced Lily when she first met the girl, sat in clumps of despair. Alice's standard Prewitt chocolate brown eyes were warped in sadness. But Frank held her hand so tenderly. Frank's light blue eyes squinted in agony at the sight of his fallen friend. His dark hair was cropped short to his temple and his face look taut. Alice and Frank had each other to carry their grief.

Next to Alice were Fabian, Gideon, and Marlene. Gideon's hair was cut short to his brow, but Fabian's stood up in long tresses. The twins had matching shades of pained chocolate brown eyes. Marlene was positioned in between the two tall and muscular men. Her hand was wrapped around Gideon's tightly and her head sat against Fabian's shoulder. Lily noticed that Marlene's usual straight midnight black hair was pulled into a tight braid. Her eyes shone with a dark blue pain. Marlene looked up and gave Lily a sad smile.

Lily gulped as she looked at Michael. His eyes were closed and he was breathing raggedly in a light sleep. His covers were pulled up to his waist and bandages wrapped around his entire torso. His hair fell back from his forehead and revealed a scar from when a knife sliced his forehead open. Lily took a ragged breath and squeezed Emmeline's hand. She was where she should be, and hopefully that would be enough for Michael.

Lily frowned at Michael's figure; something seemed off. She realized that it was his pale skin. Michael was usually tan and muscular. But months of no physical activity and blood loss had turned his skin to a sickly pale color. Bile rose in Lily's throat when she remembered the last time he looked so pale. She could feel manacles cutting into her skin and her side protesting in pain. Lily coughed; she couldn't breathe. Her friends looked over at her in concern and Lily let go of Emmeline's hand. She couldn't show them how weak she was. Lily turned and closed her eyes. She almost screamed when she saw flames rise from the shadows of her vision.

Lily ran from the hospital wing. She couldn't look at Michael without reliving her demons. She wasn't strong enough to keep visiting him. Lily fell to the ground of the hallway and looked down at her wrists. They were fine; there weren't large metal cuffs biting into her skin. She raised her shaking hand and brushed it against her left side. It wasn't screaming in pain. She was hallucinating. Lily let out a bark of cold laughter and leaned her head against the stone of the wall. She pulled her legs to her chest and tugged her hair from its tight ponytail. Her fingers trembled as she worked her way through the knotted locks.

" Lily what are you doing on the floor?" a voices asked. Green eyes looked up and met gold eyes. Lily removed her hands from her hair as Jason crouched over her with a worried expression. Lily bit her lip and brushed a stray strand of hair from her face.

" I don't know," Lily answered in a helpless voice. She looked down and her eyebrows pushed forward. Jason sighed and sat in front of her. He crossed his legs and Lily could see his jean clad form. His arm was still bandaged but his arms were covered in a thin windbreaker. He wore a white t-shirt and his hair was swept into a wind-struck mess. Lily could remember her mum bemoaning Jason's hair to her father. He was the only Gastor brother to not care for the state of his hair. The rest put some effort into controlling the Gastor curls. But Jason was too carefree for that.

" Is this about Wood?" Jason questioned. His eyebrows knitted into a twist of concernment. Lily let her head push up and let out a bark of cold laughter. She blinked sharply and rubbed her tired eyes.

" He's going to die and it's all my fault," Lily croaked. Suddenly Jason grabbed her arm and Lily looked up. He frowned at her response and leaned forward.

" What do you mean?" Jason asked. His eyes narrowed and he pressed for Lily to answer. She leaned up and met his eyes with a cruel expression.

" You should know all about Potter right? With your Marauders' gang I thought that you lot were like brothers. He's hurting anyone that he doesn't want talking to me. First Davies, actually it's Benjy Fenwick first, and now Michael is sitting in the hospital wing dying," Lily moaned. Jason's face darkened and he clenched his fists.

" Is James harassing you?" Jason demanded. Lily scowled at his protective tone and began to clumsily stand. Jason grabbed her arm and she slapped his hand away.

" It's none of your business. I can handle myself Jason, I've been doing that for the past seven years while you were off mooning after Julius," Lily hissed. Jason let go of her in shock and Lily took the opportunity to slip past him. She walked briskly away from him barely holding the pieces of her broken soul together.

But the thing about Jason Gastor that was different from his brothers or even his sister was that he wasn't afraid to love. So instead of letting Lily push him away, Jason watched her walk away with a set expression. She was broken and afraid to let him love her, but Jason could wait. He was her family and family didn't give up on each other. After their parents and brothers died and Pericles and Cassius left the country to escape their ghosts, Jason and Lily really only had each other. Once Lily was out of the hallway, Jason turned and started walking towards the Slytherin Common Room; it was time that he explained something to James.

The second he entered the Slytherin Common Room people looked up and gave him looks of respect. After all he was Jason Gastor; this was his kingdom and he was king, well one of the four kings. Jason would usually greet a few of the older years and grin at some of the coy girls, but he was on a mission. Once people got a look at his murderous expression, their eyes filled with a mix of dread and anticipation. They wanted to know who the esteemed Jason Gastor was upset with. Jason's gold eyes scoured the Common Room and he frowned when he saw his friends.

The three other members of the Marauders were sitting around the fireplace in the hub of action. Remus sat in one of the four single armchairs surrounding the fireplace. He had a piece of parchment in his lap and his uniform was pressed neatly. Jason and Remus didn't have the bond that James and Sirius had, but they were close. Jason was the first person that Remus opened up to, after that the rest of the Marauders made it their goal to crack the mysterious Remus Lupin. It didn't take them much time to realize that Remus left their dorm every full moon. But they didn't care. Even though most of them had grown up hearing scary stories about werewolves, especially Jason, they had known Remus for over two years. Just because he wasn't himself on one day a month didn't mean that they wouldn't accept him. In their second year, after hearing a lesson on animal transfiguration, the three intelligent boys came up with the idea to become animagi to assist their troubled friend. James and Sirius immediately had success with the spell. But Jason who had more ease with dueling and charms work struggled with it. With the assistance of the two other boys, he managed to transform into a gold rat by the boys' fourth year. By their fifth year, all of the boys could successfully transform and keep Remus, or Moony as they had dubbed him, under control during a romp through the forest.

Being a Marauder was one of the biggest parts of Jason's life. It defined who he was and where his loyalties resided. He couldn't tell his family about the things that he and his friends did. But Jason was fine with that. The Marauders were his brothers. They were much better than his real brothers. Jason loved his family above all, his friends were even jealous of the tight-knit Gastor clan, but it had its secrets.

Everything sort of went downhill after Lily was sent to Greece for angering their parents. Julius lost his soft and golden personality when Andromeda Tonks left him at the altar, and became crueler. Pericles distanced himself from his family. The tension was clear when Jason first came to Hogwarts. Lucian and Cassius didn't ignore Pericles but their interaction with the quite young man was quite limited. Lucian and Cassius stuck together after Lily left. They tried to let Jason tag along, but Jason was too young compared to them. Jason also had his own friends. Yet as the family grew strained, they still had their moments. Jason induction into the death eaters was a proud moment for his brothers and dad. But Jason didn't miss the tear that slipped across his mum's face when she saw the writhing tattoo adorning his left arm.

His brothers referred to him as a mum's boy, but Jason didn't care. He adored his mum above all. Jason loved to watch her paint and write, but really he just liked to see the similarities between his lost best friend and his mum. His heart never truly healed when Lily left. Jason had been anticipating the day when he could introduce his Marauders to Lily. He knew that when his two worlds meshed together he would never be happier.

Even when Lily was first banished, Jason's parents assured him that she would be back for her entrance to society ball. But on the day when Jason stood on Platform 9 ¾ without his sister, he felt the sting of disappointment. See, Julius was over nine years older than Pericles, the second oldest Gastor brother. Julius was off in his own adult world by the time Jason could walk. Yet he made ample time to interact with his family. Jason remembered going to Diagon Alley with Julius to pick out his owl. Julius had been the one to point out the midnight black owl, which Jason had eagerly named Hades. Most of the Gastor siblings named their owls for the Olympians.

Jason's father owned Zeus, but Zeus was elderly so he was used as the standard family owl. Zeus was a rich shade of gold and had a set of piercing blue eyes. Jason's mum shared Zeus with his father since she never had an owl back in Greece. Julius had a tawny owl with eternal blue eyes, which he named Poseidon. Pericles had a brown owl with silver eyes, which he named Athena. Lucian had a silver owl with black eyes, which he named Artemis. Cassius had a chestnut owl with a set of black eyes, which he named Ares. Lily got an owl before she left with fiery red feathers and almost yellow eyes that she named Hestia. Jason sometimes watched the owl fly into the Great Hall.

But owls aside, the Gastor family tried to work around the obvious issues it held. Jason loved his family even though they were flawed, for it was their flaws that made him love them. When his parents, Julius, and Lucian died, Jason felt something inside of him change. Once Pericles left to work in Athens and Cassius got a scholarship to the Montreal school for Glyphs and Ancient Runes, Jason realized that he had to grow up. He was an adult and the man of the Gastor house. Pericles and Cassius made it perfectly clear that they weren't coming back. Jason winced at the memory of that horrific family meeting.

It was the day after Lucian's funeral. After Lily hadn't shown to the funeral, Jason felt something in him shift. Lily wasn't heartless so something must have happened to her. He didn't voice his concerns at the family meeting though. It was just Pericles, Cassius, and himself. Pericles explained to Jason that he was leaving for Athens at the end of the month. He left his share of the Gastor estate to Jason and Cassius and withdrew his name from the position of Gastor head.

Cassius stood and looked at Jason with a guilty expression. He told Pericles and his younger brother of his acceptance to a school in Canada. Since Cassius was of age, he was allowed to leave England with no problems. He took some money from the family vault before renouncing his claim to the Gastor family. Cassius and Pericles were out of England by July first, leaving Jason with the entire fortune, the position of Gastor heir, and no family. Lily was still missing a week later when his friends showed up at his door with concerned expressions. They discovered that Jason was spending his birthday alone with his entire family gone.

After a week of pure Marauders bonding in the Gastor family, Jason started to heal. That changed when James showed up to his house two days after he left with a chaotic gleam in his eyes. Jason was shocked to discover that Lily was betrothed to James. But it did make him happy. Jason hadn't missed the exchanges between James and his sister. Ever since the Christmas Ball he had been rooting for James and Lily. Jason remembered James hugging him and telling him that he had family, the Marauders. After James left, the other Marauders made plans for the summer. The four met up at each other's homes, but preferably not Remus's home. Mrs. Lupin held a certain fondness for mother-henning over Jason and James.

Soon the summer flashed by and Jason got word from Pericles that Lily was safe in Greece. He was worried when he read that Lily seemed a bit disturbed though. Jason was sure it had something to do with that bastard Benedict Auclair kidnapping her and Wood. He used to be close friends with Benedict but when he messed with Lily, he messed with the entire Gastor family. Jason was almost sadistically happy to hear that Auclair, his childhood friend, died in the mess he made. The git deserved it for hurting Lily.

When Lily visited, Jason was surprised to see that she looked like their mum. She did something to her hair, which made it look darker and straighter. Lily also looked tanner and taller. Jason was sure that his little sister wasn't aware of the fact that she looked like an adult. He was concerned when she wanted to look through their parents' bedroom. Jason avoided that room at all costs. But he led her up there and after she left Jason spent two weeks working up the nerve to go inside of it. He was shocked to see that he wasn't sad; no he was nostalgic. His brothers' rooms had been cleared out when they moved. Lily's room was filled with some of her belongings that she left there, yet she never showed any interest in staying at the Gastor Manor again. After going through his parents' room, Jason was ready to move on and start living again. His friends could tell when he suggested starting going to bars again. They eagerly accepted the old Jason with open arms, but Jason could feel their concerned stares when he was too quiet.

Jason was thankful for brothers like the Marauders. They wouldn't leave him or die like his other brothers did. And he was willing to wait on Lily. She would come to him when she realized that he was her family through thick and thin.

Jason blinked sharply and saw that Sirius was sitting across from Remus. He winked at a few girls before leaning forward to speak with the other Marauders in a low voice. Directly in front of the fireplace were two emerald green armchairs. One was occupied and the other was empty. Jason balled his fists and the crowd surrounding his brothers parted. Eyes filled with fear as he made his way through the crowd. Jason stopped in front of the armchair on the right and leaned down.

He stared at the figure of James Potter. James was his brother above all. Their families were close so the two boys were practically raised together. Sirius and James's relationship relied on girls and booze. But James and Jason relied on the bonds of family for their relationship. As they aged, the two boys understood each other more and more. James watched as Jason lost his family and dealt with a rebellious sister. He was there to speak with the golden boy about their struggles. Jason was there to sober James up after his parents died. He was there to show empathy for the once innocent boy.

James looked up and ran a hand through his chaotic hair. Jason could see the Marauder's Map sitting in his lap. He glared at his brother remembering his original purpose.

" Jason mate have a seat! We're just about to leave for the party in the Hufflepuff Common Room," James declared with a devilish grin. Usually Jason would slap his brother on the arm and grin back. But today he couldn't keep the waves of revulsion off his mind. He stood with straight back and grabbed James by the collar of his shirt. Jason's eyes gleamed with anger as he stared at his brother. James was supposed to be Lily's love, not the man that drove her to the point where she refused to eat or sleep. People watched as Jason violently shoved James against the wall of the Common Room. He held his wand against his brother's pulse and glowered at James's handsome face. James didn't look angry; he looked annoyed.

" Jason have you been drinking?" James demanded. He shoved Jason's loose grip away and straightened his shirt. Jason glared at him and crossed his arms. He could feel Sirius and Remus's hot stares on his back.

" James we need to talk in a more private place," Jason hissed. James raised an eyebrow curiously but nodded. He cleared his throat and the sea of bystanders separated. Jason could barely keep himself from punching James as the two boys walked up to their dorm. Once the door closed behind James, Jason swung his fist back and punched James straight across the face. James let out a sharp curse and Jason could hear pounding at the door.

" Padfoot and Moony this is between me and Prongs! Marauder's code," Jason shouted roughly. He heard silence and the sound of Sirius clearing the crowd. Jason watched as James looked up at him with a furious stare.

" Jason what the hell are you doing?" James growled. Jason scoffed at his brother's attempt at a furious voice. James may have the ability to strike fear in the masses of students and even teachers at Hogwarts but Jason had known him since the two of them were both scrawny kids.

" What am I doing? You actually have the nerve to question me Prongs? You're the one who's torturing my little sister. She is not sleeping or eating Prongs. Care to explain why you felt the need to beat Wood to the point of death?" Jason snarled. His eyes lit up with anger and James slumped. He stood with a straight back and frowned.

" Jason I've got a right to keep sick blood traitors like Wood away from Evans. She'll be mine in a few months and I'd prefer for her not to interact with the likes of Wood and Davies," James explained. Jason snorted and furiously twirled his wand in between his fingers.

" Prongs you don't understand Lily at all. Look at her right now. She isn't eating or sleeping just because Wood is injured. What do you think will happen if he dies? Everything that had built up on Lily for the past seven years will engulf her! She doesn't know how to deal with grief. She thinks that she can handle it but she can't. Instead she'll just keep pushing away her pain until she finally does something stupid. When our parents died she couldn't handle it so she decided to pretend to be a muggleborn. When Lucian, Julius, and the Auclair family died she couldn't take her own pain so she ran off to bloody Greece. When that Fenwick bloke and one of our mum's friends from Greece died, who she was close with, she dyed her hair and refused to come home. What do you think is going to happen if Wood dies?" Jason roared.

James froze for a moment and took all of this in. His face lit up with sharp realization and he cursed loudly. Blood fell from his nose as he ran a hand through his hair angrily. Jason watched him with a disdained expression. James leaned against the wall with a defeated expression.

"Is there anything I can do?" James asked. His eyes were filled with a bout of sharp regret and Jason sighed. Jason had never seen James like this. James didn't regret his actions; but when Lily was involved this was an exception.

"I dunno. It's up to you to keep Lily from breaking. You've got to do something about Wood I reckon," Jason quipped. James nodded and stood. He went over to his trunk and pulled something out. Jason gulped when he saw James pull out a small vial. He grabbed a spare piece of parchment and scrawled something out on it. James opened the window and whistled sharply. A large white owl flew to the window and James attached the letter and vial to the owl's leg. He closed the window and turned to Jason when the owl flew away.

" That should help Wood," James explained. Jason nodded and the hazel-eyed boy slumped into a relaxed position. Jason knew that James may have been controlling and domineering but he knew that James could also be loyal and brave. He'd seen some of the interactions between James and Lily. Lily changed when she was around James. She lost her broken gleam and seemed almost whole. James was exactly what Lily needed. Jason only hoped that both of them would get over their fear of loving and realize that they were meant for each other.

James cleared his throat and moved over to Jason with a sheepish grin. He clapped a hand on Jason's back and the entire predicament was forgotten. They were family and family didn't let old grudges get in the way of living.

" Now let's head to that party. I heard that Stevies fancies you," James declared roguishly. Jason couldn't keep the grin off his face. They were brothers first and kings second. Lily would be fine. She just needed time. In the meantime, Jason had a certain Hufflepuff to shag.

* * *

"Lily are you in here?" Marlene asked. Lily looked up from her desk and yawned. She was working on an assignment for Care of Magical Creatures and her hand was covered in ink splotches. Lily rubbed her eyes as Marlene walked over to her with a wide grin. She was surprised by the amount of hope present in Marlene's eyes.

" What's going on Marlee?" Lily asked. Marlene pulled her up with a grin and grabbed Lily's arm. She led the tired girl from the dorm and down to the common room. The warm room was empty save for a group standing around the fireplace. A joyful air surrounded them and Lily frowned at the sight of her friends being so happy. What was going on?

Marlene dragged her over to the group and they grinned at her. Lily twisted her eyebrows in confusion when she saw tears of joy in Emmeline and Gideon's eyes. Frank and Adam stood off to one side clutching each other with thankful grins. Fabian and Alice were sitting on the couch with smiles and tired eyes. Marlene turned Lily and met her eyes with fervor.

"Lils it's a miracle! The hospital wing got an owl around nine. It had a vial of phoenix tears. The healers used it on Michael as the note instructed and his cuts healed before our eyes. He lost a lot of blood and they're still stabilizing him but Madam Pomfrey is positive that he will make a full recovery. He was awake when she made us leave," Marlene exclaimed.

Lily's heart filled with a warm bubble. She understood why her friends were grinning so happily. Lily couldn't keep the grin off her face as she blinked away tears and Marlene wrapped her in a tight hug. Lily fell into her friend's hold and couldn't keep the wide beam off her face. Her eyes twinkled with joy.

" Michael is going to live. He's going to live and become an auror. He's going to play Quidditch and win another House Cup. He's going to become your dueling partner Lils," Marlene comforted. Lily nodded and leaned her head against her motherly friend's shoulder. Michael was going to be fine; he wasn't going to die a tragic and horrific death. He wasn't going to turn into one of Lily's ghosts.

" When can I see him?" Lily asked. Her eyes lit up at the thought of seeing her friend without his scars and pains. But a question rested in the back of her mind. Who sent that vial of phoenix tears? Lily hoped that it was Dumbledore; she was too afraid to think that there was another mystery in the twisted world that was her life.

" The healers from Mungos are leaving tomorrow morning. I'm sure Pomfrey will let you in," Emmeline called out. Lily nodded and checked her watch. There was an Order meeting at midnight and Lily didn't plan on missing it.

At three in the morning, the seventh and sixth year Gryffindor girls trudged back into their dorm. The meeting was brutal due to a revelation that no one had received news of Dumbledore's whereabouts. Lily informed Moody of Michael's recovery but the man seemed suspicious of the phoenix tears. Adam, who was closest to the window during the arrival of the miracle, informed Lily and the group that the owl that had delivered the note and vial was a snowy white color. Lily didn't know of anyone with a pure white owl but kept this in mind. She would be on the lookout for this owl.

Frank and Gideon were called for patrol that night so the other Gryffindors trudged back to the castle. Alice crashed in the girls' dorm since Frank wouldn't be back until sunrise. Marlene and Alice managed to transform an old pillow into a bed. Lily was astonished by their Transfiguration skills. She changed into a pair of plaid pajama pants and a white tank top before falling into a restful sleep. She dreamt of green fields and her mum's embrace that night. Lily was shocked to see a pair of hazel eyes snake their way into her dreams.

She woke to a sunlit room. Lily groaned and shoved her covers off. She leaned up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. With a glance at the clock, Lily saw that it was almost noon. She stretched her back and stood from her bed. The others had already left the dorm and Marlene left a note by Lily's bed. She picked it up and wrinkled her nose at the sight of her nails.

_Lils,_

_I was amazed to see you sleeping at ten! We left you to catch up on some much needed beauty sleep. Frank and Gideon returned around five according to Alice. They're still sleeping. Don't wake them; they've had a rough night. There was a run in with the Lestrange couple that didn't end well. One of the aurors with them is in Mungos. When you're ready, we'll be waiting in the hospital wing. Please wash your hair; it's a greasy mess._

_Love Marlene_

Lily's bit her lip at Marlene's motherly comment. She looked at a clump of her hair and admitted that it was a mess. After setting her bed, Lily took a long shower and used ample amounts of shampoo and conditioner. She removed the nail polish from her fingers and used a body hair removal spell. After drying her hair, Lily threw a pair of jeans and a knitted sweater on. She slid a pair of boots on and brushed her hair into neat locks. Lily took the time to rub some lip-gloss on her thoroughly bitten lips and place a concealment charm on her birthmark. She grinned at the sight of her fading under eye bags. After grabbing her wand and using a sprinkle of her pomegranate perfume, Lily left the dorm with a wide grin.

She greeted some of her peers and the younger students she was fond of. People stared at her charming demeanor in surprise. But that didn't keep them from eagerly greeting her. Lily entered the Great Hall for lunch and sat at the Gryffindor Table. She decided that Michael would scold her if she weren't eating so Lily filled her plate with a sandwich and an apple. After eating to her fill, Lily twisted a lock of her hair around her finger as she looked up to the sky. She wasn't aware that two people were watching her with grins.

Jason nudged his friend as they watched his little sister. He hadn't seen her so healthy in over two weeks. She seemed to glow with happiness that was clear from his distance. James turned to him and raised an eyebrow. Jason shrugged and looked over to the head table. He could see another person watching Lily. Jason frowned at the sight of Galen Kingsmill. He wasn't close to the Kingsmill family like Lily was, but Jason had an encounter with Auror Kingsmill on the battlefield. He wasn't too fond of the self-righteous auror, but he couldn't deny that Kingsmill had a better feel for Lily than he or Auclair did. James looked towards where Jason was looking and scowled.

" Lily gets along with him?" James asked. Jason nodded and brushed some crumbs from his lunch off his lap. He watched as Lily left the Great Hall and took her aurora of joy with her.

"From what I heard from Pericles and my parents, Lily used to be best friends with his sister Selena. According to Pericles, she basically latched onto Auror Kingsmill after his mum died. Pericles thinks that there's nothing there but friendship. I know for a fact that they've kissed a few times. But Lily's a bit liberal with affection if she likes someone," Jason answered.

James nodded and the pair stood. Sirius and Remus were meeting them in the Room of Requirement to plan out a prank for that annoying Mrs. Norris. The damn cat had caught Sirius and Jason after curfew and they got detention. It was time that cat paid. Jason winked devilishly at a few girls as he and James left the Great Hall.

" I'm sorry mate. I'm not going to harass Lily anymore. I've got other ways to make her realize that she's mine," James declared. Jason pursed his lips as the two men left the hall. He looked around at the empty corridor and turned on James. Suddenly Jason shoved his friend into the wall and cut his arm into James's throat. His friend stared at him with shocked eyes.

" James she's technically under my jurisdiction until you turn seventeen. So if you don't watch your bloody step with my little sister I will be the person you answer to. If I find out that you're tormenting her in any way I will take it up to the other Marauders. I think we both know who will be on suspension if Remus hears that you've been blackmailing my sister for months. I don't even want to say what Sirius will do. He may be slightly unstable but he loves his little brother. I doubt that either of them will be pleasured with your idiotic behavior," Jason snarled.

James glared at his friend but nodded. He knew that Jason was right; James didn't even want to torment Lily. Every time he looked at her agonized eyes he broke a little more. But there was no other way to get her to acknowledge him. James craved her touch and her acknowledgement. He couldn't stand the idea of her being out of his reach for any amount of time. James knew that her courage and her loyalty to those she loved were what made him fancy her. But he didn't know what made him feel as though the idea of living without her would kill him. He just needed her so badly. James hoped that Lily felt the same way. Otherwise why would she even bother to talk to him? He had to win that bet. He had to show her that marrying him was the thing that she wanted. She would be his but James wanted her to want him. He wanted her to love him as much as he loved her.

Jason let go of James and the two started for the Room of Requirement. Meanwhile, Lily was walking down the opposite hall with a wide grin. She could see the hospital wing rising in the distant. Lily sped up to a jog and entered the hospital wing with flushed cheeks. She could see the back of Alice's hair and made her way over to the bed that her friends stood around. Green eyes met crinkled brown eyes and Lily grinned. She leaned down and pulled her friend into a tight hug. She closed her eyes and inhaled Michael's presence. He pulled her back and looked at her with a wide smile. Lily bit her lip to keep the sobs down as she sat on the edge of his bed. Michael's bandages were removed and his chest was free of any slices or scars. His skin wasn't so pale anymore and his eyes were open.

" Lily you look like shit," Michael declared. Lily smiled ruefully and smacked his shoulder. He chuckled and Lily couldn't be happier. Her friend was safe; everything was going to be all right.

" Michael it's good to have you back," Lily said truthfully. Her friend smiled a full and open smile at her comment. Lily knew that everything was going to be all right. She spent the day in the hospital wing with her friends. After Wizarding Chess tournament, which Lily immediately loss in the initial rounds to a satisfied Gideon, she played a game of Exploding Snap with Alice and Michael. Marlene and her caught up on some homework and Frank and Fabian assisted them with some Herbology homework. Lily listened to a story about the time when Dumbledore caught Adam and Emmeline in a broom closet; she laughed harder than any of her friends. At nine, Madam Pomfrey kicked the Gryffindors out of the hospital wing telling them that Michael would be let out in the morning before breakfast. Lily went to dinner with the same grin that she left lunch with. After finishing some Potions work, Lily slept for more time than she had for the past two weeks.

She woke with an infectious grin in the morning. Marlene and Emmeline were still sleeping when Lily showered and dried her hair. She left it down after buttoning her shirt over her bra. Lily filled her bag with the required textbooks and notebooks she needed for the day. She waited for her dorm mates to rise and grabbed her cloak once Marlene and Emmeline were ready. The trio headed down to the Common Room and met up with the Prewitt twins and Adam. The group walked down to the Entrance Hall where they ran into Frank and Alice. They entered the Great Hall and sat directly in the middle of the Gryffindor table waiting for their friend to show up.

Lily bounced on the edge of her seat and stared at the door eagerly. The hall was filled with activity since classes started in thirty minutes. Lily glanced at the open doors to the hall with anticipation. She tugged on a lock of hair as people entered the hall.

" Lily give him some time. Pomfrey must be hounding him," a voice teased. Lily blushed and met Marlene's motherly eyes. She bit her lip and took a bite of the porridge she was eating. After finishing the bowl, Lily took a handful of grapes and stared at the fruit bowl mournfully; it had almost been a month since she had last had a pomegranate. Lily sighed and popped a green grape in her mouth.

She looked up directly across the hall and met a pair of gold eyes. Lily smiled shyly at her brother before turning to the front of the hall again. She frowned when a group of third year Slytherins entered; where was Michael? Lily finished her grapes and took a sip of water. She inputted a few words to the conversation on the upcoming match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. Lily bit her lip harshly when she saw that breakfast was ending in ten minutes. She leaned on the edge of her fists and blew a strand of hair out of her eyes. Lily looked at Adam's ever present smile as he explained in full detail to Frank about the purpose of using the snitch over the Golden Snidget.

Suddenly the atmosphere in the hall changed. Lily looked up and couldn't keep the full grin off her face as she saw Michael standing in the middle of the hall. He wore his shirt tucked loosely into a pair of trousers and his tie hung around his neck with a sly angle. His hair was freshly cut and the puckered scar from the incident at the Auclair Manor was clear to see. His eyes looked haunted and his skin was slightly pale. Lily noticed that he lost a few pounds of muscle and his bones seemed to stand out from his face. He held a haunting edge to his stance as he stared directly into her eyes. Lily stood immediately and balled her fists tightly as she walked up to him.

" Hi," Michael said in a rueful voice. His hands were shyly tucked behind his back and he didn't seem to be expecting Lily's tight embrace. She leaned forward off her heels and repressed her tears into his shoulder. Michael quickly returned her hug and Lily brushed her fingers gently against his torso. He didn't show any pain.

" Hi," Lily murmured when she let go of Michael. He still held her right hand in a tight hold and seemed to be using her as an anchor to reality. This time Lily would be there for him. She blushed when the stares coming from around the hall reached her attention. Lily bit her lip as she pulled Michael over to their friends. She sat him down in her seat in between Marlene and Frank. Lily squeezed in next to him and watched him engage their friends in a joyful conversation. He didn't look as though he was dying two days ago. Phoenix tears really were a miracle. Lily looked up and saw that Potter was watching her. She froze for a moment and her fingers curled around a strand of her hair.

Potter's face was pulled back into a blank stare. He didn't have a sneer or a dark gleam to his eyes. Lily narrowed her eyes at his almost innocent expression. Potter sat with a straight back and nodded at Lily with a curt turn to his mouth. She felt an emotion hit her hard at his expression; it was an apology. Lily's mouth dried and she immediately knew what Potter's role in the entire Michael debacle that been. A snowy white owl flew down and dropped a letter for Potter. Lily looked away and met Jason's eyes. He looked at her with something close to terse acknowledgement. Lily paled and ducked her head.

Potter had the connections to get Phoenix tears. Why had Potter saved Michael if he was the one that got Michael sent to the hospital wing in the first place? Lily intended to find out why Potter had a regret in actions. She turned and laughed at a joke Michael made. Potter could wait for some time.

Lily headed to Potions walking on Michael's left. She couldn't help but glance back at Potter as she walked with her friends. Something seemed different about him. After a long class, Lily wrinkled her nose at the almost wet state of her hair. Black and Potter thought it would be amusing to throw the temperature reducing potion they were making on her and Marlene. Lily's lips were almost blue by the time she left the Potions classroom. She wrapped the material of her cloak tightly around her figure. Slughorn said that the potion would wear off in an hour. Lily planned on hexing Potter when it did.

Marlene and Michael led the way to the DADA classroom and Lily trailed after them. She bit her lips and rubbed the sides of her arms. Michael slowed down and pulled his cloak off. Lily muttered a thank you when he wrapped the cloak over her shoulders. She froze suddenly and remembered what Potter did when Michael lent his cloak to her last time. Lily ignored Marlene and Michael's concerned stares before slipping out of Michael's oversized cloak and handing it to him. Lily ducked her head and started walking to avoid Michael's sharp stare. She couldn't put him at risk anymore; she couldn't afford to do anything that would danger him.

Once she reached the DADA classroom Lily frowned when she noticed that the room was empty of desks or chairs. It had been cleared and a large open area sat in the middle of it. Her peers entered the room with skeptical stares. Malfoy's classes involved long essays and torturous tests. They were anxious to meet the new teacher. The bell rang just as two Hufflepuffs slid into the room. The group of almost twenty waited for their teacher. Suddenly the door shut and a figure slinked from the shadows of the room. Lily watched as Galen Kingsmill walked straight into the middle of the classroom. His expression was a goofy grin which a few Ravenclaw girls noticed with coy giggles.

" My name is Galen Kingsmill, and you should call me Professor Kingsmill if you lot want to avoid getting your arms hexed off. " Galen announced with a grin. Lily bit her lip trying to hold back her laughter as her peers stared at Galen in fear. He looked menacing in his gold auror robes and the large scar stretching from his jaw to the edge of the opposite collarbone. But Lily knew him since he was a gangly boy of eleven. She didn't find him very intimidating.

" I've looked through some of your previous teacher's notes. She had the right idea with practical lessons. Sadly the headmaster didn't agree with that. I on the other hand suffered through the same essays you lot were forced to write several years ago. I preferred practical lessons to the written sort," Galen declared. Lily heard a snort come from the back of the room and looked over there. Black was staring at Galen with an incredulous stare.

" Want to say something Black?" Galen asked. A few students gawked at his lax terminology for their king-like figure. Black shook his curls out with a sly expression. He shrugged innocently before addressing Galen.

" I'd just prefer for my teachers to be actually capable. I doubt that you're even 25," Black said smugly. Suddenly a spell hit him and his wand catapulted from his hand into Galen's. His sky-blue eyes were twinkling with mirth as he twirled Black's wand around his long fingers.

" I'm nineteen actually. For the record Black I've accomplished more than most aurors in my home country and here have in their entire lifetimes in my two year career as an auror," Galen answered. His sharp accent slid into his words and a few Hufflepuff girls seemed to swoon. Lily caught Marlene watching her friend with a glazed stare. He threw Black's wand in his direction and faced the class. Lily could see a smoldering glare on Black's face as he grabbed his wand from the floor.

" Where did I leave off before Black questioned my credibility?" Galen said aloud. His eyes flickered across the room. Lily could see open changes in his facial expressions as he studied the class. She rolled her eyes when he winked at a Ravenclaw. Lily didn't miss Jason's critical stare on Galen's figure.

" Jason Gastor it's nice to finally meet you," Galen announced. He walked over to Jason and outstretched a hand. Lily felt his eyes flicker to her face as she watched the two shake hands.

" Our mums were friends right?" Jason said. Galen nodded and Jason looked over to Lily. She bit her lip before looking down to the ground. The stonework was quite fascinating really.

" Your mum was actually my little sister's godmother," Galen explained. Lily sighed and remembered the last letter Selena had sent to her. It was almost a week ago and Lily was still mulling over her friend's fascination with her older brother. Lily never expected someone as loud and vibrant as Selena would fancy a quiet and brooding man like Pericles.

" Right then. We'll be practicing nonverbal spells today. Get into groups of birth months please," Galen ordered. He turned to face the class and Auror Kingsmill was back. Lily bit her lip when she noticed that no one else was in the January group. Technically Lily wasn't even supposed to be born until late April or early May. She heard the gruesome story of her abnormally early birth more than once. Galen raised an eyebrow at the September group which was too large.

" Your parents knew how to celebrate Christmas I assume," Galen commented as he separated the group into two. He paired off people from opposite months. Lily's throat dried when she was paired with Black. Her hand curled around the wood of her wand. Black looked at her with an almost predatory stance. Suddenly a spell shot at Lily with an electric edge. Her instincts forced her to shoot a mirror charm and the spell boomeranged back to Black. He slashed his wand through the air arrogantly and the spell disappeared. Lily gulped and leaned down. She stared at Black and waited for him to attack. Only he didn't. Black narrowed his gray eyes at Lily egging her on to send a spell his way.

Lily thought of the disarming charm in her head and let her magic flow down to her wand. A red streak flashed through the room and Lily watched as Black dodged the spell. When it hit a chair and sent it into the wall harshly, Lily winced. She didn't want to hurt Black. He faced her with something close to a leer. Suddenly two spells rocketed towards Lily. Her eyes widened and Lily ducked as the spells hit someone behind her. Lily turned and sucked in a breath when she saw the boils covering the skin of a limp Amos Diggory. Black was using hexes; Lily had to be ready.

She whirled around and shot a stunning spell at Black's figure. Lily didn't seem to notice that most people were muttering the spells under their breaths. Technically she had an unfair advantage with her magic, but how did Black know how to use nonverbal magic. Nonverbal magic was at the NEWT level for seventh years. It was too advanced for a student like Black. As a spell shot from his wand to Lily she remembered that Black was a death eater. Lily froze for a moment when she heard a peal of laughter. She glanced to her left and saw that Jason was laughing at something that Marlene had said. Lily never noticed but Jason seemed oddly comfortable around Marlene, almost if they were friends.

Lily turned as a spell suddenly hit her. The feeling of falling immediately hit her. It was as though someone had wrenched a knife into her head and was cutting through her memories. Lily gasped when flashes of memories she kept under lock and key came to her mind. She wasn't the one prying them out of the boxes she tucked them away in; it was someone else. The memories stopped moving and paused on one memory.

Lily shouted in protest when the memory of Potter's lips acting like lightening against hers in her townhouse came to her mind. She could see herself, wearing nothing but a tank top and a loose pair of sweats, snogging Potter vigorously. The fact that Potter was only wearing a pair of boxers and that Lily was straddling made the memory even worse. Lily could see her curled hair moving under Potter's fingers as he held her face almost gently.

Embarrassment engulfed her when she heard her memory-self moan Potter's first name. It was even worse when Potter pulled her closer to his chest. Lily stared at the clean state of her bedroom in this memory when she noticed that someone else was present in this memory. A curse escaped Lily's mouth when Black's gaping figure came into view. He was staring at her and Potter with a shocked stare. Lily shoved him away from the memory with sharp vigor and kicked him out of her mind.

She gasped when her eyes shot open and Lily met Galen's concerned eyes. She choked for air and blushed furiously when she remembered what had just happened. Lily sat up and saw that her friends and Galen were kneeling around her. She could see a large crowd surrounding someone else a few feet away from her.

" Lily! Black hit you with a curse that made you faint and start writhing on the ground. What did he do?" Marlene demanded. Lily reached for her bracelet and rubbed her fingers against the chain. Dread filled her as she realized what just happened. Black was a Legilimens; he just hit her with a spell that gave him access to her memories for a brief period of time. Lily cursed herself for never learning Occlumency; Legilimens were so rare that Lily chose to learn how to resist Veritaserum over learning how to block people from her mind.

" I dunno. I can't remember anything," Lily lied. Galen's face twisted into a scowl for a moment before he nodded. Michael and Marlene pulled Lily up and she leaned against them for a moment. A bout of dizziness hit her as she rose. Her fingers curled around the edge of her forehead and Lily shivered. She was so cold thanks to Potter and Black's potion.

Lily looked up and saw that Black was standing in the middle of the larger group. It made sense that a majority of the class would run to his aid rather than Lily's. He brushed the dirt from his shirt before meeting Lily's eyes with a twisted grin. Lily froze when his eyes flashed viciously. Black thought that she had slept with Potter. Oh fuck; Lily was screwed. She heard the bell ring shrilly and slipped out from her friends' arms. Lily grabbed her bag and looked up.

Black was walking out of the room with his friends. Lily sprinted after them and shoved two Ravenclaws out of her way. She grabbed Black's arm and twisted him around. Black's eyes flashed murderously before he saw who stopped him. His mouth curled up into a sly grin as his friends stopped and turned to face Lily. She let go of Black and tugged on a lock of her hair.

" Black what you saw it's not what you think," Lily choked quickly. Black didn't respond; he only raised his left eyebrow and crossed his arms at Lily's desperate form. Potter and Jason stared at her with curious eyes. Lily groaned at the thought of Black revealing what he saw to Potter or Jason. Lily didn't want Potter to know that image sometimes flickered in her mind.

" Evans I'm not an idiot. You may have kicked me out before anything good happened, but I know that you're not the virginal ice queen you pretend to be," Black crooned victoriously. Lily paled when Potter's eyes flashed with rage as he turned to her. His hand moved to grab her wrist, but Jason shoved it away.

" Padfoot we should continue this conversation in a less populate area," Jason commented. Lily blushed crimson red when she noticed that people were staring at her. The other Marauders nodded and turned from her for a moment. Lily glanced at them as they persuaded Lupin to go to lunch without them. She turned to make her get away while this was happening. But before Lily could even take a step, a hand grabbed her by the waist and yanked her around.

" Not so fast Lily, we've got something to talk about," Potter growled. Lily clenched her jaw as he shoved her in between him and Jason. Black stood next to Potter, preventing Lily from getting away. She stiffly followed Jason into a classroom. Potter shut the door behind Black and turned to Lily.

" Now Evans what was Sirius talking about when he said that you weren't a virgin anymore?" Potter demanded. Lily blushed heavily and scowled at Black from her perch on a desk. She looked over at Jason with a pleading look but he crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at Lily's neck. Lily scowled at him; why did he have to be such an overprotective brother at all the wrong times?

Potter moved towards her and stood directly in front of her. He ran a hand through his hair angrily and shoved the bridge of his glasses up. Lily tugged on a lock of her hair and looked at the ground.

" Black misinterpreted something he shouldn't have seen," Lily answered nervously.

" Evans I know more about shagging than you'll ever know. I'm pretty sure that I could interpret that memory pretty clearly," Black snorted. Lily opened her mouth to fire a retort but someone beat her to the punch.

" Lily why were you with a boy? Benjy told me that you didn't date anyone in France. Was it one of the Prewitt twins or that tosser Fenwick?" Jason demanded. Before Lily could answer Potter slammed his fist against the desk she was sitting on and she jumped in surprise.

" Why would she sleep with one of those blood traitors or half bloods when she's going to marry me?" Potter asked with an incredulous voice. Black moved to speak but Lily spoke before he could.

" Potter stop being so cocky! I didn't sleep with anyone for Merlin's sake! I'm a bloody virgin," Lily hissed angrily. Her cheeks were flushed and she glared into Potter's eyes.

" Evans is lying. There's no way that she didn't shag-," Black started. Jason cut him off and faced Lily with a protective stare.

" Padfoot who the hell did you see Lily with?" Jason demanded. Lily coughed sharply and covered her chest with her arms. She couldn't let Black tell anyone about the embarrassing night she had with Potter back in April.

" Evans why were you with anyone in the first place? I let Wood off the hook since I decided to do you a favor. I didn't know that you were so stupid," Potter exclaimed. Lily met his eyes in a fierce glower. She balled her fists at her sides and lifted her head up.

" Potter I wasn't with anyone! For Merlin's sake I've only kissed three people. Black saw that night when it was raining during the Easter Holidays when you and I…" Lily explained. Potter's face lit up in realization when Lily didn't finish her sentence. He seemed to regret his outburst, but then Jason grabbed his shoulder sharply.

" What did you do with my sister Prongs?" Jason hissed in a low voice. Lily stood up and snorted at his behavior. She pulled his hand from Potter's shoulder and faced him with a calming expression.

" Jace nothing happened. Potter's dad passed away and it was raining. I just took pity on him since he was locked out of Black's house. We didn't do anything," Lily assured. Black snorted from her left and interrupted.

"Evans I'm pretty sure that you were about to shag Prongs in that memory," Black declared. Lily rolled her eyes and stared in her brother's heated gold eyes.

" Jace, Black is a man-whore, all Potter and I did was kiss," Lily secured. She felt so embarrassed that her brother had gotten her entire sexual experience due to Black's outburst. She bit her lip and sighed loudly.

"Prongs is that true?" Jason asked. Lily looked at Potter over her shoulder and saw his conflicted face. She remembered that Potter had slept over that night before disappearing. He cleared his throat and looked directly into Jason's eyes.

" Jason mate I honestly didn't do anything to Lily. We snogged for maybe a minute and she fell asleep within ten minutes. I left after she fell asleep and went to Padfoot's house," Potter promised. Jason nodded sharply and brushed a lock of hair off his forehead.

" Right then. So Padfoot just assumed that you and Lily slept together. Okay Padfoot is just being a git like usual. Well I'm going to go to the Great Hall and tell Moony that Lily was upset with Padfoot about the whole Legilimency thing. I'll see you lot later," Jason addressed. He grinned sheepishly at Lily and wrapped her in a light hug before leaving the room. Lily shivered, since Potter and Black's potion still hadn't worn off.

" Prongs you coming?" Black questioned from the doorway. Lily looked up and saw that Potter was staring at her with a sharp expression. He was only a foot away from Lily and his mouth was pursed tightly.

" I'll head down later. I just need a word with Evans," Potter answered. Lily watched as Black left the room and closed the door without a glance back. She bit her lip and rubbed her arms as chills crossed her form. Potter frowned and studied her for a moment. Suddenly Lily was pulled into his tight hold. Her face was pressed against his chest and his body heat radiated to her cold skin. Lily slumped slightly in his hold before remembering what Potter did to Michael. She craned her head up and stared into his eyes.

"I thought the potion would've worn off by now," Potter murmured in her ear. Lily didn't respond as his fingers traced figures over the material of her shirt. The small of her back was pressed into the desk behind her and Potter chest covered her torso.

" I only spilled that potion on you to teach you not to interact with Wood so comfortably," Potter said. His voice rumbled from his chest and Lily inhaled his unique scent of green apples and rugged earth. She could feel his heart pound against the ridge of her cheekbone.

" Why did you help Michael?" Lily asked breathlessly. She was surprised by her question. Potter froze for a moment before craning his head down to stare into her eyes. Lily watched as gold and green clashed in his eyes.

" Because you were breaking Lily, and I couldn't stand to watch you wilt away before my eyes when I could do something to help you," Potter answered. Lily was shocked by the regret and raw sorrow in his voice. She moved her hands from her sides to Potter's chest. Lily pushed her head off his heart and watched him with a curious expression.

" Lily I can't say I regret hurting Wood or Davies. But I can honestly say that seeing you wilt away was one of the most painful things I ever experienced," Potter declared. His hand moved to cup her chin tenderly. Lily ducked her head and took a breath. She could feel Potter's heart beneath her hands.

Potter leaned down and his breath brushed Lily's temple. She shivered unconsciously and Potter's arms tugged her even closer to him. Lily moved her hands to the back of his neck and leaned her head against the surface of his tie. Potter tucked her head under his chin and time seemed to still. Lily looked up with fervor and met Potter's eyes. She craned her head to her left and leaned up. Potter did the exact opposite and Lily could feel his electric lips inching towards her. Suddenly waves of reality crashed on her as she blinked and saw Michael's raw and bleeding back. Lily shuddered and pushed her head away just as Potter's lips moved to kiss her.

" I can't James. You've hurt people in order to make me submit to you. I just can't be with someone as possessive and heartless as you," Lily murmured. But her words seemed to be directed more to herself rather than James. She couldn't keep herself from slipping his name into her voice. It cracked his broken sorrow. Suddenly Potter's hands froze and he stopped moving. Lily swore that his heart stopped for a second.

His waist shoved her body into the desk behind her and his hand yanked her chin up so her eyes were directed at his. Lily gasped when his other hand pulled at her hand and placed it on his chest.

" Lily why do you insist on fighting me? I know about that trip you took to Hogsmeade on Friday. Meeting up with Andromeda the blood traitor and trying to escape this was so stupid. Lily there isn't any way to prevent our inevitable marriage. Yet you keep fighting me. I've never felt this way for a girl before. You're driving me insane with all of your dangerous night trips. Jason and I talked Lily, we both think that if you keep this up, then you will be forced to stay in our dorm every night," Potter declared.

Lily wrenched her chin out of his grip and clenched her jaw. Potter and Jason weren't supposed to agree on something, when did that happen?

" You know I was actually fighting with Jason on Saturday thanks to you. He convinced me that your survival was dependent on bloody Michael Wood. So I convinced him that you are a danger to yourself," Potter murmured in her ear. Lily pulled her head back and shoved Potter away.

" I'm not your toy Potter. You can't control me. I'm not yours until the day you turn seventeen so stop acting as though I belong to you! You're so sick," Lily exclaimed. Potter's eyes flashed and he advanced on her. His hands curled around her arms and pinned them down. Lily froze as he pressed his chest against hers.

" Lily you may not belong to me yet, but you do answer to my mate Jason. Both of us agreed yesterday evening that your little adventures to Hogsmeade are getting out of hand. Did you read the paper? There were death eaters in Hogsmeade on Friday. Not everybody knows that you're actually a pureblood. What do you think they would have done if they found a pretty little mudblood roaming the streets late at night," Potter growled.

" Potter you're such a hypocrite! That's why you were in Hogsmeade isn't it? You were off murdering innocent peoples," Lily cried. She waited for Potter to deny it, but he didn't. Lily's heart clenched sharply and waves of revulsion shook her. Lily looked at Potter with a glare of disgust.

" Lily don't give me that look. You can't deny that you've got feelings for me. You're worse than me. You're attracted to the one thing that you stand against. Lily you're going to marry me and I will be the person to take your virginity. I am only person you will ever fuck," Potter snarled harshly.

Lily closed her eyes and trembled in his hold. Her breaths became ragged as Potter tightened his grip on her arms. She felt an inkling of hidden revulsion fill her, but not at Potter. Lily was disgusted that she thought about the few secret kisses she traded with Potter. She hated the fact that she was attracted to such an evil man. Lily hated him, but she couldn't honestly deny the sexual tension between them. Now she knew that Potter felt it too.

" Lily don't worry I'm an excellent shag according to the birds I've ever fucked. I assure you that our marriage will not be filled with unpleasant sex," Potter teased. Lily's eyes shot open and she pulled her knee up into Potter' crotch. He grunted and leaned over in pain. Lily grabbed her bag and walked over to the door. Her hand rested on the doorknob as she turned to face Potter's furious face.

" Potter I can assure you that I will be able to resist your sexual skills. I'm planning on a long and celibate marriage," Lily gloated. She turned to open the door but someone grabbed her. Her body was jerked around and shoved against the door. A groan escaped her mouth as she looked up to Potter's amused grin. He leaned in quickly and his lips enveloped hers in a heated kiss.

Lily could feel bolts of pure electricity shoot through her. Potter's lips molded against hers and she lost every ounce of self-control. It had been months since Potter kissed her; Lily had dreams about the few kisses they shared. Lily didn't tell anyone that sometimes some of her nightmares were actually heated moments with Potter. She was deadly embarrassed of that.

Potter's lips danced with hers in a chaotic tango. Suddenly his lips switched to a tangled waltz and Lily took his lead. Lily quickly moved to run her hands through Potter's soft hair. It was just like her memories. Potter's arm wrapped around her waist in a crushing embrace and his right hand cupped her chin. Lily moaned when his tongue slid into her mouth and wrestled against her own. She couldn't feel her heart beating; rather she felt two hearts beat together.

Suddenly the feeling of completion left her. Lily gasped and blinked as veracity shot her in the heart. She blinked and looked up at Potter. He stood in front of her with thoroughly mussed hair and swollen lips. His shirt was disheveled and Lily flushed when she realized that she had done that. Potter's lips were curled in a smug smirk and his eyes were filled with cockiness.

" Lily I'm sure that you'll be able to resist me. Just like this fabulous display of self-control you just had," Potter announced. Lily scowled at him and tugged on a lock of her hair. It was a tangled mess. Her shirt and skirt were disheveled and Lily only assumed that her face was worse. She wrinkled her nose and ignored Potter's smug presence as she began to harshly detangle her hair. Lily repressed a wince of pain as she pulled two strands of hair from her head.

" Don't do that. Your hair is one of my favorite things in life," Potter ordered. He turned Lily and began to lithely undo her knots. Lily felt his fingers dance through her locks of hair and gulped. Her back was pressed into his chest and Lily could feel his deep humming from her position. She bit her lip and quickly moved to settle her clothing. Potter turned her when she finished retying her tie. Lily met his eyes and touched her hair. It wasn't knotted or ragged anymore. Her hair seemed to look glossier with just Potter's touch. It was also incredibly soft. Lily ducked her head and let go of her hair at Potter's intense stare.

" You've got a certain fondness for red fruit Evans. Strawberry shampoo and conditioner, Pomegranate perfume, and watermelon lip gloss," Potter mused with an amused grin. Lily bit her lip and turned to the door. She grabbed her bag and rested her fingers on the doorknob. She paused for a moment before speaking.

" This was an accident Potter. I won't be kissing or touching you anytime soon," Lil declared. Before Potter could say anything, Lily had launched herself out the door and down the hall. He watched he walk away with a hidden demeanor. Lily's tone made him truly believe that she was ashamed of the fact that she was attracted to him. Yet James wouldn't give up.

He never felt the rush and feeling of comfort with other girls before. When Lily touched him he could breathe again. When he saw her standing so close but still so far away, James could barely breathe. Lily's kisses were like choking down air after almost drowning. James needed them to live. But it wasn't just a need. He honestly couldn't deny the click in his heart or soul when Lily smiled at him. He couldn't deny the fact that their hearts seemed to beat in unison. He couldn't deny that she fit perfectly into his body, as if her body was designed to fit his.

Both of them couldn't deny that they were in too deep. Lily was scared to love since everybody she ever loved died. She blocked her friends away and even Jason. She made sure that her and Selena's relationship could never be repaired. Lily kept her friends in England from coming too close to her heart. She made sure that Galen understood that she could never love. Lily even pushed her only willing family away. But James Potter was changing her strong held beliefs. He was making her face all of her pent up emotions and the sea of reality.

James was afraid to love anyone. He couldn't let the curse that his father hated ruin him. So he made sure that every girl he knew was sure that he was heartless and didn't care for her. Until Lily came along; James couldn't keep the feelings that she made him face away.

He was scared to face these foreign emotions, but when Lily was around James thought that he could be brave enough. The sorting hat did consider him for Gryffindor after all. Lily was forcing James to see that love wasn't a deadly weapon; she was making him see that he needed love as much as he needed air to live.

The almost funny thing about James and Lily was that James realized that he was in love long before Lily ever would admit it to even herself. He realized that the muggleborn girl who kissed like breathing air and danced with freedom was the only person he could ever love on a warm summer evening in the woods. But for Lily, love would take much more time.

Loving James would take breaking his heart into shards of agony and suffering. In order for Lily to fall in love with James, she would first have to break his heart so badly that he turned off every emotion he could feel. But that's a story for a later date.

* * *

Two days later, Lily sat in the Forbidden Section of the Library thankful that she had a good relationship with Madam Pince. She pursued a textbook on the Imperius Curse and shut it with frustration. Nothing new was present in any of the books. Lily stood up and closed her mum's notebook. She hadn't written anything that day and spent more time reading about her mum's relationship with Pericles Lilius.

Her dead uncle seemed like a fantastic person. According to Delphina's entries, Perry Lilius had chestnut hair and the same color eyes that Delphina had. Lily's mum had described Pericles as a towering and domineering person with almost chiseled features. But her mum commented about his goofy smile and clumsiness. Lily noted dryly that she must have inherited her habit of biting her lip from this man.

She stopped reading the diary when it got to the point when her mum entered her last year of school. Lily thought that there were certain entries that her mum deserved to keep private. She did laugh quietly at the things her mum and her friends did. Lily was shocked to hear that her mum and Mrs. Kingsmill had gone skinny-dipping in the fountain of Circe in the center of the Athenian School of Sorcery's campus. Her mum seemed to have a complete and whole life in Greece, so why did she feel the need to flee the country with a stranger?

Lily sighed and returned the books she was using to their original spots. She leaned down and threw the notebook and her quill into her bag. When Lily stood a book fell from the top shelf and landed on Lily's head. She groaned and rubbed her head before picking up the book. Lily paled when she saw the cover; _The Three Types of Magical Fires. _She heard footsteps echoing through the section and shoved the large book into her bag.

" Evans what are you doing in here?" Black demanded. Lily looked up from her bag and met Black's inquisitive eyes. She bit her lip and remembered the knife with crusted blood on it from the train ride. Lily's eyes immediately traveled to the sleeve of Black's shirt. She could see a small scar peeking out from his shoulder. It was a knife wound. Lily's mouth became dry as she tried to answer his question.

" DADA homework," Lily managed to squeak. She couldn't let Black know about the book that had fallen from the bookshelf. It would bring too many secrets up. Black leaned against the opposite bookshelf and blocked her way out of the library. Lily glared at his cocky grin and bit her lip.

" We were assigned material on Vampire Bats Evans. Those books aren't in here," Black stated. Lily cursed herself; why was lying getting harder? She cleared her throat and decided to distract Black instead of answer his question.

" Black I would appreciate if you keep your Legilimency to yourself," Lily declared. Black looked at her with a doggish grin and shook his curls from his shoulders with a proud stance.

" Evans I'll try to do that if you can explain that memory I saw with you and Prongs," Black answered wolfishly. Lily coughed and felt a blush crawl up her throat. She ducked her head and looked at Black's shining shoes.

"Black nothing happened; Potter already told you that," Lily replied.

" See Evans I'm just curious since Prongs told me that he found out that you were Jason's sister in June during the Battle of the Ministry. So why did he willingly kiss you two months before that?" Black asked.

" I don't know Black. His dad just died; he wasn't in the right state of mind," Lily muttered tersely.

" Why did you even let him into your house? If I remember last year you hated him," Black demanded.

" I'm not heartless Black. It was raining that night and he was standing in the rain since you and your family were off killing muggles in Bristol," Lily hissed in a low voice. Black ignored her biting answer and continued his interrogation.

" Evans where were you coming from before you saw Prongs?" Black demanded. Lily wrinkled her nose and considered how fast Black's reflexes were. Maybe she could get a good hex and bolt….

" I was visiting family," Lily answered honestly. Black scoffed at this and folded his arms.

" From what I can assess and what Jason tells me you're not really a family person are you?" Black snorted. Lily bristled as his derogatory tone and met his eyes with a loyal stare.

" Black I can't stand most of my brothers but that doesn't mean that I never loved them. They used to be good people when we were younger. I didn't recognize them when I came back," Lily answered stubbornly.

" What type of sister can't even recognize her own brothers?" Black jeered. Lily scowled and clenched her jaw sharply.

" Black I doubt that you're the expert in sibling strife," Lily snorted.

" You'd be surprised Evans. My family was raised so that all of my cousins ended up being like sisters to me. It hurt like hell when Andy became a blood traitor," Black answered. Lily was surprised to hear the slip in his name for Andromeda. She bit her lip and looked behind Black.

" Black my family isn't any of your business. We're the most fucked up family to be raised in. My parents are dead and when they were alive they weren't the nicest people to raise someone. Half of my brothers died from being death eaters. The other half left England since they couldn't be adults for Jason and me. Pericles and Cassius grew up in the shadows of Julius and Lucian; they didn't know how to cope with their own grief let alone take care of Jason and me. Pericles was my guardian for half a year before I did something too much for him to handle. So he pawned me off on Jason. Jason, no matter how much he tries isn't an adult. He's so broken Black and I can't do anything to fix him since that would break me," Lily hissed.

Her anger and sorrows from six months of torture and death radiated on Black. He looked almost scared as Lily shoved past him and made her way out of the library. Her seams were ripping apart and Lily couldn't let that happen. She gathered her fears and emotions and pushed them away. She couldn't face her past. But Lily didn't know that someone was there to help carry her burden, she didn't know the real meaning of family.

Her feet carried her down to the Great Hall. Dinner was just starting so the only members of her friends sitting at the table were Gideon and Adam. Lily greeted them before filling her plate with a slice of Shepard's pie. She could feel someone watching her and frowned. Galen was mouthing something to her from the head table. Lily nodded at him with a confused expression. Why did he want to meet with her after dinner? She saw him stand and quickly stood. After muttering a goodbye to Gideon and Adam, Lily shuffled through crowds of incoming students and made her way to the Entrance Hall. She could see the back of Galen's head as he walked down the left wing of the corridor. Lily followed him and he stopped in an abandoned staircase near the Muggle Studies classroom. Lily could see Cygnus Black from the hallway. She grimaced remembering his role in the death of Harland Evans before stopping behind Galen.

" So Wood is doing well I see," Galen acknowledged. Lily nodded before shoving her hair into a tight ponytail.

" Yeah he doesn't have any scars or wounds left. Someone sent a vial of Phoenix Tears to him," Lily answered. The true meaning behind her words lingered in the air.

" It's not who you think it would be Rose. Moody got word from him the other day…" Galen started. His eyes flickered to the Muggle Studies classroom and he took his wand out.

" Muffliato," Galen whispered. Lily frowned in confusion as he put his want back inside of his pocket.

" Black could be listening to us. I'd hate for him to report back to Malfoy about this. Anyways, Dumbledore didn't say much other than that he doesn't know how long his mission will take. He did have a peculiar request though," Galen mused.

" What was it?" Lily asked. Galen brushed a piece of lint from his shirt before facing Lily. His face was pulled into a grimace as he spoke.

" He wants Bishop to offer his assistance at the American Auror Department," Galen answered. Lily froze and mulled this over. The only reason Dumbledore could ever want to send aurors across the Atlantic was a dire one.

" Does he really think that Voldemort will spread off of the European continent?" Lily demanded in a low voice. That mere thought was too depressing. If Voldemort was going to send his forces to America he was literally informing the British Ministry of Magic that he didn't need to put all of his forces into fighting them. He was telling the world that he could win the war in England without all of his forces.

" Mundungus Fletcher informed the Order of that information. He's a seedy bloke but Dumbledore seems to trust him. When Snape and Pettigrew backed Fletcher's statement up with their Intel from the death eaters, Dumbledore wrote back for the first time," Galen answered in a despairing voice. Before Lily could say anything he continued.

" That's not even the worse thing. Selena wrote to me the other day. She said that Dementors aren't the only problem in Greece. Apparently there have been recent activities that seem too similar to the death eater massacres here," Galen stated in a growl. Lily froze and gulped; Pericles was there. He did say that Voldemort was trying to spread his influence internationally.

" It's not death eaters Rose. Last full moon at least three villages were fully massacred. My friend from the auror department told me that the wounds look like bites and claw marks," Galen finished. His words chilled Lily's heart and she straightened her back with the weight of his statement.

" Werewolves," Lily whispered. She waited for Galen to deny it but he never did. Suddenly a bout of dizziness hit her and Lily leaned against the wall behind her. She slid down it and pulled her knees up to her chest. Lily thought that when Professor Gladstone killed Josiah Crichton the werewolves of Greece were done fighting. But she was wrong. There was always someone waiting in the wings to become a new leader.

" Right. The head of the Greek Auror Department wants me to come back. She thinks that we're fighting a losing war here. I told her that I would stay until the war was actually finished though. She then went on to tell me that there were signs of dark activity throughout Europe. Vampires have plagued Italy. The merman population surrounded the coasts of Spain is in disarray and not letting any ships out of ports. Romania is having issues controlling their dragons. Germany and France are dealing with troll and giant invasions into large cities. I heard that the Netherlands aren't doing so well either. According to some sources Moody has in Sweden, the government has already surrendered to Voldemort. Switzerland and Albania are going to try and fight," Galen declared in a hopeless voice.

Lily didn't know the extent of the international war. They were fighting a losing war, and Moody wasn't telling anyone the truth. She balled up her fists and remembered Galen's comment about Greece. He wasn't going back and Lily felt guilt from the relief that gave her. Galen knew how to fight werewolves better than even she did, and Lily was from a family of werewolf hunters. But there was someone else who would be more than willing to go to Greece and deal with the werewolves.

" What about Professor Gladstone? Her time in Azkaban is almost up Galen. If she goes to Greece, I bet she could have the werewolf situation cleared up in less than two months," Lily offered. Her friend's expression darkened and he cleared his throat.

" Rose there's no way the death eaters will let Gladstone off the hook for hurting one of their kind. There's going to be a trial in front of the Wizengamot on Friday morning. Jason Gastor wants Gladstone to be sentenced to Azkaban for more time. I doubt it's about his injury rather than the risk of her hurting you again," Galen answered. Lily narrowed her eyes and knew what he was trying to tell her to do.

" Telling Jason that his own aunt tried to slice his sister's chest open would kill him. He doesn't know much about my mum's family Gale," Lily argued. But she was arguing for no reason. Galen and her both knew what she had to do. If Lily didn't get Jason to let Judea off the hook then there would be no one in Greece to fight the werewolves.

"Lily it's not your decision to make. He has a right to know about Professor Gladstone even if you don't want him to. Telling him the truth may change the outcome of the war," Galen answered.

" Gale one of his best friends is a werewolf. I don't know how he'll react when he finds out that his mum comes from a family of werewolf hunters,' Lily said.

" Then don't tell him about that. Just tell him that Professor Gladstone is his aunt," Galen bargained. Lily sighed and crossed her arms. She knew that Galen was right, but Lily was afraid to face Jason once he knew the truth.

" Gale he's my brother, I can't break him like that," Lily argued half-heartedly. Her friend didn't respond. He patted her shoulder and squeezed her hand before standing.

" Lily Jason needs to see that you are not the innocent girl who screamed from her nightmares anymore. He needs to know that you became an adult when he was off murdering innocents with his friends," Galen finished. Lily watched him walk out of the hallway with a meek stare. It was time for a little sibling bonding…

* * *

The next night, Lily watched Jason with cautious eyes at dinner. She spoke to her friends about the upcoming match on Saturday but her mind wandered to her secret. Lily knew that telling Jason the truth about their aunt was the right thing to do. But she was scared to face Jason's wrath. Lily sighed and pushed her plate away. She looked up and saw that Jason and Potter were leaving the hall. Lily ignored Marlene and Frank's stares as she grabbed her bag and left the room. Lily jogged behind them and grabbed Jason shoulder.

Suddenly she was shoved into the wall and a wand was pressed into her neck. Someone held her hand tightly and Lily choked for air.

" Lily why do you insist on sneaking up on people during a bloody war?" Potter demanded from her left. Lily scowled at him and Jason let go of her. His eyes flashed down to her left hand and he pulled her sleeve back. Lily jerked her arm back and hit the wall sharply. She ignored the stabs of pain in her elbow and glared at her brother.

" I wasn't sneaking up on you lot Potter! It's not my fault that you two are the size of Great Danes," Lily hissed. She didn't know why Potter angered her more than usual. Actually she did; it had something to do with the kiss he stole from her the other day.

" Lily what do you need?" Jason sighed. He glanced from her to Potter with an amused stare. Lily looked around and saw that the hallway they were in was almost completely empty.

" I need to talk to you about that trial you're attending tomorrow morning," Lily answered. Her brother's face twisted into a scowl and Potter snorted. Lily glared at him and crossed her arms.

"Potter this is between me and Jason. Could you leave?" Lily demanded. Potter snorted at the thought of doing what she wanted. But Jason raised a hand to him and stared at Lily with a confused expression.

" I would think that you above all people would want Gladstone to be in Azkaban for more time," Jason drawled. Lily bit her lip and knew that she had to tell him the truth.

" Jason she's saved my life more than once," Lily answered. If it wasn't for her private lessons with the bitter Judea Gladstone, then Lily would have killed herself more than once by now.

" Lily that spell she used was dark magic. If it hit you in the chest then you probably wouldn't be alive," Jason hissed. Lily groaned and tugged on a lock of her hair. Potter already knew the truth about her aunt but Lily didn't want to tell Jason the truth in front of him. She could see an empty courtyard from her position against the wall.

" Potter just give me a moment with Jason. Please?" Lily asked. Potter's eyes twinkled with amusement, but he allowed her to lead Jason to the courtyard. Lily stood near an enchanted fountain of Queen Maeve. Jason crossed his arms and faced her.

"Lily I'm not going to let Professor Gladstone off the hook for almost killing you. She deserves to spend more time in Azkaban," Jason declared.

" Jace she's been through enough stuff in her life; she doesn't deserve to spend the rest of her life in Azkaban," Lily argued. Her brother snorted as he twirled his wand through his fingers with a wicked expression.

" Lily you need to stop being such a martyr. You've done enough already," Jason announced.

" What do you mean?" Lily asked with a confused frown. Her brother looked over to the hallway where Potter stood. He turned to her with a vexed expression.

" Why do you keep making deals with James? You already owe him a favor and now you've gone and made a bet with him," Jason snarled in vexation. Lily crossed her arms and met his stare indignantly.

" Jace we've been over this; Potter didn't claim that favor for over five months. He probably forgot about it. And the bet is going to help me. My team creamed yours last time we played each other," Lily assured.

" Lily, James doesn't forget about these types of things. You owe him and you don't even know what that means. Lily making that bet was so idiotic and reckless. James is a Slytherin; I've known him for most of my life. He could make you do anything since it was magically bonded," Jason answered. Lily frowned; when did Potter bond the bet with magic?  
"It's James's signature trick. He keeps a nonverbal binding charm on his hand and then shakes yours. I've lost enough bets to him to know when he uses magic," Jason scoffed. Lily paled and thought about how Potter shook her hand after they made that bet. If the bet was magically bound, the results were similar to the unbreakable vow, but less severe. Lily once made a bet and magically bounded it with Benjy Auclair. He was obligated by an invisible force to attend the next Quidditch match they had wearing the opposite team's colors. Lily cursed herself; how could she trust Potter? Yet if she won the bet, then Potter wouldn't be able to speak to her for three blissful months.

" Jason don't worry Gryffindor will win that game," Lily assured. Her brother's lips pulled into an amused grin and his worrisome nature was forgotten. Really what is life without a little sibling rivalry?

" Lily I'm not too sure about that. The only reason you won the first game of the season was since you surprised us with that switch," Jason declared arrogantly. Lily rolled her eyes and stuck her head up with a proud expression.

" So you're admitting that you and Potter couldn't handle my chasing skills?" Lily asked in a sickly innocent tone. Jason smiled wryly and ruffled her hair. Lily wrinkled her nose and shoved his large hand away. She leaned up and swatted Jason's winded hair. He pulled away with a laugh and looked at Lily with a laughing beam.

" I surrender Lils! Why did you ask me to talk to you in the first place?" Jason asked as his laughter started to end. The easy going and fun atmosphere fled the area when Lily was reminded of her original purpose for talking to Jason.

" I need to tell you something about mum," Lily started. Jason's face contorted into a serious expression and his lips pursed. A light wind rustled through the courtyard and Lily shivered slightly. Jason didn't offer her his cloak. She tugged on the ends of her hair with a guilty expression.

" Mum wasn't an only child Jace. You never met mum's parents so you never really recognized mum's little sister. Granddad had chestnut hair and mum's eyes and Grandmum had mum's hair and russet eyes. Professor Gladstone and mum sort of swapped their characteristics," Lily admitted. Jason froze and his face darkened for a moment. Lily saw a flash of pain in his eyes; that killed her with a slow burn.

" Mum had a sister and you didn't bother to tell me or any of us?" Jason hissed in a low voice. Lily knew that he was talking about her brothers when he said us. She looked down with a guilty expression and blinked sharply.

" Jason I couldn't exactly tell you when mum and dad wouldn't let me come home or even write," Lily snapped harshly.

" Well you've been in England for almost a year and you decided to tell me that our mum had a sister who was almost twenty years younger than her after said sister tries to kill you? Ugh that's disgusting; our own aunt hated you," Jason exclaimed.

" Jace you don't understand what she's been through," Lily hissed in a low voice.

" What is it worse than having your parents and brothers killed? Is it worse than being abandoned by the only brothers you have left and your sole sister won't give the slightest damn about you?" Jason growled. Lily's heart plummeted at his speech but she held her ground.

" Her husband killed their son and his cousin killed mum's parents. Professor Gladstone's husband and her cousin-in-law tried to kill her and me. We barely got out Jason. She's been living in her own personal hell for the past four years so don't give me shit about how she deserves to go to Azkaban. Her son was murdered right in front of her," Lily snarled. Jason's face contorted for a moment before he settled on anger.

" Why didn't mum and dad tell us anything about this?" Jason demanded.

"Because Jason that isn't your life! Your life is here in England with those snotty balls and brunches. Mum left that part of her life behind so that we never had to experience what she was raised in," Lily shot back.

" What did she experience Lily? What scared mum so badly that she left her parents and little sister behind?" Jason ordered. Lily's anger got out of control and she immediately regretted the next thing she said.

" Jason you never had to endure our crazy grandparents. You never had to know that we descend from a line of bloody werewolf hunters. You've never had to look at a man chained to a wall with blood streaming down his face as your grandfather screams at you to take your knife and kill him. You've never had to see the disappointment on the faces of the only family that you have left when you were too weak to kill an innocent man. Mum's hell became my life when she and dad sent me to Greece," Lily roared. She regretted it so much. The plain agony and hurt on Jason's face almost killed her. It was as though someone took a dagger and stabbed her in the heart over and over again but she never died.

After a few minutes, which seemed like hours, Jason pushed his pain away and hid under a disguise of sarcasm and anger.

" Any other secrets mum had?" Jason demanded. Lily knew that she owed two last things to her brother. It wasn't her choice to tell him; it was his right to know.

" Mum didn't leave Greece because of our bloodthirsty grandparents. Jason for the record I only found out about this a few weeks ago. Mum had a twin brother and she used to be in love with Galen's mum's dead brother. I think that they were going to get married. Our uncle and mum's first love were aurors. They got killed on some mission and mum left Greece before their funeral," Lily admitted in a mournful voice.

Her brother's chest rose in silent agony as he tried to contain his pain. Lily moved to hold his hand but the second her fingers touched his, he pulled back and stared at her with a crazed expression.

" Don't touch me. Don't talk to me. I can't deal with this Lily. I thought that our family was screwed up enough but mum's family makes us look positively sane," Jason muttered more to himself than Lily. He backed away and Lily watched him leave with despairing expression. Her hand landed by her side and each step Jason took away from her broke her a little more. This time, Lily was afraid to move. She didn't know if her broken soul would be able to handle mere movements.

No one came for her not even Potter. Lily moved and pushed her feelings and emotions away. Jason was supposed to be different from all of her brothers and anyone that she ever loved. He was supposed to be there for her regardless of the things she did. But he left her and Lily was left alone. Darkness engulfed her as the sun faded away and dusk ended.

* * *

" Davies has caught the snitch! Gryffindor wins 250-230," Lupin called out. Lily clenched her jaw as she flew down to the ground. It wasn't Trevor's fault that Ravenclaw had a pair of thugs for beaters. Only twenty minutes ago, Madam Pomfrey was levitating Trevor out of the pitch. Lily was forced to play as seeker and let Marlene and Frank handle the chasing. That would have gone well if it weren't for the fact that Lily had been slammed into the Hufflepuff stands by two bludgers. She nearly fell from her broom but refused to stop playing. While she was pushing her body back on her broom, Justin Davies caught the snitch and ended the match. Lily wasn't upset about her fall or the sly bludgers that hit her. She was upset that even though Gryffindor won the most matches, they were still in second place to Slytherin.

Lily had been relying on this game to get enough points for Gryffindor to overtake Slytherin. But that didn't happen. Gryffindor had nearly lost this game thanks to Adam getting jinxed while he was patrolling the night before. With Adam gone, the team almost disqualified from the match. Luckily, Michael got approval from Pomfrey to play. His return to the pitch caused a stir in the aura of the game.

People knew that with Wood keeping and Evans chasing the game was already won. Yet they didn't account for Gideon getting distracted when Trevor was hit with one bludger and toppled from his broom down to the ground. Gideon ended up getting hit with the other bludger and Gryffindor was forced to play with only five members of their team.

Lily took the strap of her chest guard off and grimaced. Her right side rammed into the wood of the stands and it was killing her. But Lily lost the game. She had to do something to keep the four-year winning streak that Gryffindor had. But the odds that Gryffindor could overtake Slytherin looked grim. Lily knew that with rigorous practices they could win the game in December. Yet unless she and the other chasers managed to get a lead of 200 points then Gryffindor would be stuck in their position for second.

Lily was concerned about Trevor. His fall ended with his legs snapping on the ground with a sickening twist. Lily could see the blood surrounding him from over twenty feet above him. She made a note to ditch the party and go to the hospital wing. Lily staggered over and coughed sharply. She was getting her annual dosage of fall allergies. See unlike most people, Lily didn't suffer through pollen allergies. She had an unlucky inheritance from her dad's family that all of her brothers didn't have. Lily was allergic to leaf mold, otherwise known as the stuff that made leaves change color. One of her dorm mates in France liked to joke that she was allergic to autumn.

But the entire experience wasn't funny for Lily. She had an excellent immune system and never got ill. But once a year, horrid allergies hit her hard. Lily sniffled and wrinkled her nose. From a check in the mirror that morning, Lily's nose was a permanent bright red. She could hear her own ragged breaths.

"Lily there's a party in the Common Room," Marlene called out. Lily twisted her head back and saw that her team was walking with her to the locker rooms. She kept a fake grin on her face and turned to them.

" You lot go on without me. I need to go to the hospital wing for my side," Lily answered. She brushed off their attempts to help her get to the hospital wing. Lily showered in the locker rooms and changed into a pair of slacks and a long-sleeve t-shirt. She frowned at the material of the shirt; it clung to her skin too much. After pulling her hair into a loose ponytail Lily shoved her equipment into her locker and put her broom inside of her bracelet. She slid a pair of boots on and grabbed her wand as she left the room. The pitch was empty save for herself. Lily sighed and rubbed her eyes with a yawn. She needed a pepper up potion immediately.

Her feet carried her through the grounds and to the castle. Lily was tired. She didn't even bother drying her hair. It dangled behind her in wet clumps and she looked like a drowned cat. She sneezed and bumped into someone. Lily looked up and met Potter's concerned eyes. He watched her with a frown as his eyes traced all of the signs of illness on her figure.

" Potter could you move? I need to go to the hospital wing," Lily ordered. But her voice was horse and frail. It cracked in the middle of her sentence and took the threat from her voice. Lily crossed her arms over her chest and tried to ignore the ache in her side.

" You don't look so good Lils," Potter murmured. The two of them stood near a window in an empty corridor. Lily shivered at Potter's tone.

" I'm sick Potter. Now move before I sneeze on you," Lily ordered. But with her tired eyes and red nose she sounded more childish than threatening. Potter actually had the nerve to pull his thick coat off and wrap it over Lily's shoulders. She coughed as the scent of Potter' cologne and green apple smell engulfed her. Potter smiled almost fondly at her before tucking her under his shoulder. He only wore a button down shirt and a pair of jeans.

" Here I'll take you to the hospital wing," Potter offered. It was more of a demand really. Lily wrinkled her nose and protested but Potter refused to let go of her. She huffed indignantly as they approached the staircase to the next floor.

" Potter I'm not a child for Merlin's sake," Lily complained. Potter's lips pulled up into a grin as he looked at her ragged form.

" You're cute when you're trying to be angry Evans," Potter declared roguishly. Lily wanted to slap that grin off his face. She could have but Potter's hold was somewhat comforting. She ignored his comment and walked with him up the stairs. Lily barely noticed that Potter slowed his pace considerably to match her sluggish one.

" Good chasing today Evans. How's your side?" Potter commended. Lily stopped walked and hissed in pain when his fingers brushed the surface of her right side. Potter frowned and stopped walking when they reached the top of the staircase. He pulled her into an empty alcove and yanked the hem of her shirt up. Lily blushed; she was thankful that most students were at the Gryffindor party or completing some of the excess homework they were assigned due to the war.

" Potter what the hell are you doing?" Lily growled. But it came out in a high-pitched squeak and Potter's eyes flashed with pleasure before he continued pulling Lily's shirt up. She writhed against his hold and he tucked her into his chest so that he could get a better look at her side. Lily whimpered in pain when his fingers brushed the large bruise forming over her ribs. She had to avoid getting hurt there.

"Lily shite why didn't you tell Pomfrey or one of your team mates about this?" Potter asked in a low voice. He pulled Lily's shirt down and pushed her from the alcove. She struggled to keep up with his fast pace.

" I didn't think it was that bad Potter," Lily answered. She rolled her eyes at Potter's dark look and brushed a clump of wet hair from her temple.

" Evans you really don't know what the definition of a bad wound is," Potter snorted. Lily scowled at his comment. She knew what pain was; her bruise wasn't that bad. But as Lily thought about it her side seemed to magnify its pain. She blinked sharply and felt a sudden burst of pain rack her side. Lily stopped moving and Potter tugged her forward for a moment before noticing her predicament.

" Lily what's wrong?" Potter asked. He turned her into his chest and rubbed her back soothingly. Lily blinked sharply and tried to get rid of the sudden agony.

" It hurts," she whispered. Her voice came out in a choked croak. Potter's face contorted in concern. He quickly pulled her up at her knees and carried her. Lily let him drag her over to the hospital wing. Her eyes fluttered open when she felt a bright florescent light hit her. She groaned and heard Potter calling for someone. Suddenly his presence was gone and a wand probed her side. Lily couldn't keep herself from shifting away from the wand in pain.

" Miss Evans please stop moving," a voice ordered. Lily groaned and shoved the hand that was trying to touch her forehead away. Suddenly someone grabbed her and she relaxed against his warm and comforting hold. She pushed her face into the person's arm when a wand shot healing spells into her side. Lily loved the concept of healing but she hurt herself too much to ever consider becoming one. She also didn't have the best pain radar according to Potter.

" Mr. Potter please stay here and wait until Miss Evans wakes up. I need to check on Mr. Prewitt," someone ordered. Lily noticed that her pain was gone. Other than the sudden urge to sneeze, Lily felt perfectly fine. Her eyes fluttered open and she met the sight of Potter's coat draped over her chest like a blanket. Her head craned up as she made eye contact with Potter. Lily jumped back and noticed that she was practically draped over Potter. She tried to move away but he wouldn't let her. Lily scowled and saw that her hair was dry. How did Potter know a hair drying spell?

" Evans Pomfrey left some pepper up potion for your allergies," Potter commented. Lily leaned up and Potter pulled away from her. He stood and grabbed a glass filled with a minty liquid. Potter pulled her up into a sitting position and Lily scowled at him as he tried to feed her the potion. She snatched the glass from his hands and took a sip of the potion. She twisted her face from the mint taste and Potter ran his hand through his hair with a chuckle.

" So you're not afraid to fall from extreme heights but your downfall is an allergy to leaves," Potter teased. Lily blushed; why did Pomfrey tell him about that? She finished the potion and Potter took it from her hands. She looked down balefully and examined her hands.

" It's more that I don't like being sick. It's a sign of weakness," Lily answered. Potter nodded and continued to play with her hair. Lily leaned back in his hold for a moment. She knew that Madam Pomfrey slipped a calming draught into the pepper up potion due to Lily's panic. Yet with Potter around it really wasn't necessary.

" Did Jason tell you what happened at his trial yesterday?" Lily asked suddenly. Potter nodded and shot her a curious expression.

" Gladstone got off the hook but she was sent back to Greece. Jason made sure of that. Only he won't tell me why you two are fighting," Potter revealed. Lily grimaced; the last time she was in a fight with Jason she was eight and he blew out the candles on Lily's birthday cake. She hoped that this fight could be resolved with her giving him a hug like he had done to her when they were eight. Lily was wrong about that.

" Let's say that Jason didn't appreciate me keeping some information about our mum from him. You're lucky that you don't have any siblings Potter; they're a right pain," Lily sighed.

" I doubt that Lily. Being an only child was a tad lonely. I mean I did practically grow up with Sirius and I knew Jason vaguely since I was born but I was alone," Potter mused. His hands moved to pull Lily to his chest and she could feel his heart from her back.

" I've always grown up with someone. Whether it was my brothers or the Kingsmills or even Benjy; I was never really alone," Lily answered. Potter's eyes rose when she mentioned the Kingsmills.

" Kingsmills?" He murmured. Lily felt his lips brushed her surface of her neck and blushed. That damn calming draught, she thought.

" My mum was friends with our DADA teacher's mum when she lived in Greece. They were practically sisters. When I lived in Greece, I stayed with my mum's parents. They lived across the streets from the Kingsmills. I grew up with Galen and his sister Selena. We used to be like sisters, Selena and me. Not Galen he was more of an annoying brother; like Jason but older and goofier," Lily pondered.

Potter's lips pulled into a light grin against her skin. Lily shivered and he pulled her closer to his hold. Lily wondered where Madam Pomfrey was.

" What happened between you and Selena?" Potter asked. Lily was surprised to hear some actual curiosity in his voice. He seemed interested in who she was.

" My grandparents got killed by werewolves and my parents shipped me off to France to stay with my godparents. But my godmother died before I arrived in France. I stayed with Darcy Auclair. He used to be friends with my dad when they went to Hogwarts," Lily answered. She felt awfully babbly for some reason. Lily remembered reading that it was the side effect of a numbing spell. Madam Pomfrey must have used one on her side.

" I'm sorry Lils," Potter whispered near her ear. Lily hummed slightly and leaned back into his hold. She hated him so much but he had incredibly gentle arms.

" It's alright. My grandparents were really not at the right age to raise kids so I pretty much lived with Selena and Galen until I could go to school,' Lily answered. Potter didn't respond. Instead he hummed against her skin and Lily broke into a shiver.

" Potter…" Lily murmured. He made a noise of acknowledgement against the skin of her neck as he advanced towards her jaw.

" I thought that Galen took my first kiss for almost three years. But it turns out that you did. I kind of hate you for taking everything from me," Lily whispered. She couldn't stop talking. Potter froze against the junction of her pulse point.

" Lily I'm not taking things from you. You belong to me so whatever I do to you isn't me taking. It's me owning you," Potter said in a husky voice to her neck. Lily paused for a moment as his lips traced a circle over her pulse. She leaned her head back unconsciously to give Potter a better angle. That damn spell; Pomfrey needed to find new practices that wouldn't make Lily let Potter practically shag her neck. She couldn't repress the low moan from her throat as Potter's teeth nibbled on the delicate skin covering her artery.

"James what are you doing to me?" Lily begged as Potter circled his arms around her waist. His teeth pulled into a vicious grin against her neck and Lily arched her back unconsciously into his chest. Suddenly Potter pulled himself off her and stood near her bed with a disdained expression. Lily frowned and tried to speak but someone interrupted her.

" Miss Evans your side should be fine now. You look a tad flushed. Maybe you should stay the night for those allergies of yours…" Pomfrey deliberated from the front of Lily's bed. Lily's eyes widened; she couldn't stay here for more time. Suddenly reality seemed to engulf her whole. She hated hospitals; how did Potter even manage to get her inside of the hospital wing without her hexing him. Oh that's right she was practically dying in his arms. Lily flushed a deep pink and shoved the memories of Potter's teeth and mouth against her skin.

" No I'm just tired from the Quidditch match Madam Pomfrey. I'm sure that I'll get better sleep in my own dorm," Lily exclaimed. The stern matron looked at her with a dubious stare. Potter moved up and stood in front of the woman.

" Madam Pomfrey I think it would be better for Evans to leave. You know with the person that is going to come down here later tonight, we wouldn't want suspicion to arise," Potter announced in an innocently tone. Pomfrey's eyes widened and she looked over at Lily with a nod.

" Miss Evans you're free to go then," Madam Pomfrey finished once she looked at Lily's side. Lily thanked the matron and grabbed her wand from the side table. Her feet carried her outside and Potter walked next to her. Lily glanced at him and knew that she had to thank him for bringing her to the hospital wing. But she didn't want to. Just because Potter did one nice thing didn't mean that he was suddenly a good person.

" Potter why are you following me?" Lily demanded in a huff. She stopped walking and turned to Potter. He was watching her with a blank expression. Suddenly he ran his hand through his hair and looked down. Lily's hands sat by her sides. Potter narrowed his eyes and grabbed her left hand sharply. Lily was shoved into his chest and Potter's face twisted into a scowl.

" When did you get this?" Potter demanded. Lily stared at him in confusion and he flung her left arm into her point of view. Lily bit her lip when she saw the open scar written in her own handwriting. _I will not tell lies._ The five words were permanently carved into the skin of her hand.

" It's none of your business," Lily growled. Potter's eyes flashed violently and Lily tried to step out of his hold. He grabbed her chin and pushed it into his face.

" When were you going to tell me about this?" Potter ordered. Lily blushed as his grip around her chin tightened.

" Potter it's nothing to make a big deal about," Lily answered. Suddenly her body was flung against the stone of the wall and Potter's arms kept her trapped there. She met his eyes and saw storms of fury.

" How did you get it?" Potter commanded. Lily didn't answer him immediately and he pushed his chest against her body. Lily felt his lips brushed the tip of her ear and shivered.

" Evans if you don't tell me how the fuck you got a bloody sentence carved into your skin, I will make sure that your friends end up in the hospital wing," Potter growled. Lily filled with sharp surprise and blinked. The image of Emmeline battered form and Fabian's bruised lip entered her mind. Lily licked her lips and looked down.

" Detention with Malfoy," Lily answered meekly. Potter crossed his arms and closed his eyes. Lily tried to slip past him but his lower body was still pressed against hers. She froze when she felt a certain appendage that she really didn't want to feel.

" This wouldn't have happened if you told people the truth about whom you are," Potter hissed. Lily clenched her jaw and ran a hand through her hair angrily.

" Potter this is how muggleborns are treated every single day! You're mad when I get treated like a muggleborn yet you don't even care about them," Lily exclaimed. Potter fist collided with the wall next to her head. Lily winced when she heard a crack come from his hand.

" That's because I'm not in love with those mudbloods!" Potter shouted. Lily froze and stared at him. He seemed to just realize what he had said. His hand stood by his side with blood dripping from it. Potter's eyes flashed with a powerful emotion that scared Lily. He moved his free arm to hold her. But something changed. He did it so cautiously and gently. Lily leaned her head against his chest and felt him tap out a melody against her hips. Her heart faltered when she realized what the melody was.

" Lily I love you. I love you so much that it hurts to breathe. Every time you enter the room I can feel my heart skipping a beat. When I'm with you I want to just touch you. No, I need to touch you. Lily I've loved you ever since I saw you at that ball last Christmas. I can't explain how much I want to kiss you. But whenever you speak to me I can literally feel my heart pumping love to every cell in my body, and only love for you. I love the way you always skip a step when you walk up staircases. I love the way your eyes light up when you do and you don't fall. I love the way your hand is always covered in ink since you're left handed. I love the way you give yourself into the music whenever you're playing the piano. I love how you're so loyal to your friends no matter what happens. I love the way you care about everything and try to fix the world. I love how you scrunch your nose when you're annoyed. I love you Lily I love you so much that every time you get hurt, I feel like my heart bleeds your blood," James declared.

His eyes shone with so much passion and he seemed to forget about his bleeding hand. His body curved into Lily's and he leaned down to meet her eyes in a spark of love. But the thing is that James Potter is sort of horrible with timing. He doesn't know that Lily is too scared to love anyone. He doesn't know that she spends her life pushing people away so that she doesn't feel pain when they die. He doesn't know that she is on the verge of teetering off the edge and that his little declaration just took her broken pieces and stabbed them into his whole soul. He didn't know that Lily wasn't ready to love him, but she knew that she could. He didn't know that Lily was going to break his heart and he would feel heartbreak for the first time in his entire life. But that's okay, in order for Lily to love James; she has to break his heart first.

Her eyes widened and she stared at James with no emotions. He was still reeling from his passionate speech. But even James could see the fear and distress running through Lily's eyes. But it wasn't for him. Lily was so scared because James Potter thought about love in the same way she did. His words seemed to be taken from her own thoughts. He was just like her and that scared Lily so much.

" James I don't think you even know what love is," Lily started. Her heart clenched tightly as James's eyes lit up with a flash of pain. He didn't speak but he let go of Lily and moved away from her.

" You think that love is protecting the people you love but it isn't. Loving someone means that you're willing to let go of them, even if you're never going to see them again. But you're too selfish to ever be able to do that. You will never be able to love me since you're not strong enough to let go of me. I could never love you," Lily answered. Images of her mum flashed through her mind as she spoke. But across from her James Potter was reeling from his distress. He never pulled down all of his shields and guards before. The first time that he did, Lily took a stake of pain and truth and stabbed him in the heart. His eyes flashed like thunderstorms as he staggered away from Lily.

" Lily you're the one who's too afraid to love anyone. You pushed your friends and you pushed Jason away. He needs you and you're too damn afraid to let him in. I love you and you can't handle that so you spew some garbage about how I'm incapable of love. You're wrong. You're the one who doesn't know what love is. I grew up surrounded with love and I know what love is. Love is being strong enough to let your son choose his fate even though it could kill him. Love is being a brother to someone when they need you. Love is holding onto something and never letting go," James whispered.

But his speech seemed more like an attempt to convince himself rather than Lily. Lily took a step towards him but he shoved her away. She watched as his eyes flashed chaotically and he moved away from her.

" James," Lily pleaded. But James Potter was done. He quickly raised his shields and walls to love. His eyes clouded over as he walked away from Lily. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned for a moment.

" I can't even look at your pathetic face anymore. You're too afraid to even face love. You're just disgusting," Potter declared. Lily's heart shattered with each step he took away from her. But her soul had embedded itself into his. Even though he was building up a strong hatred for her and she was too afraid to love him, they were still connected.

" I'm sorry," Lily whispered. But no one heard her. Only a broken hallway filled with heartbreak and loss did. Lily wasn't apologizing to James; she was apologizing to herself for being too scared to love him.

* * *

**Sorry for the long wait! The next chapter will hopefully be out sooner...**

**Also the name for Confingo doesn't come from the blasting spell, Confringo. Confingo is a word in Latin which means " I fabricate." That should be a hint for the name of the story.**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	15. Magic is Might

**Chapter 15 Magic is Might**

**(An Open Highway)**

* * *

" Professor I don't understand what you are saying," Lily exclaimed. Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes as she handed Lily an essay. Lily's concise script was clearly written across the top of the essay. Professor McGonagall's handwriting wrote a single word,_ Dreadful_. Lily had never gotten a grade below passing before. In fact no one in her family ever failed anything. So this accusing Transfiguration grade burned Lily's eyes.

" I'm afraid that you're failing my class Miss Evans. For the past month I've excused the poor state of your exams and essays. But I can longer do that. I think that it would be best for you to consider dropping a class or two," Professor McGonagall explained. Her voice strained in an impatient way but Lily didn't notice.

She was doing everything right. Lily was excelling in all of her classes. She was maintaining good Quidditch practices. Lily managed to balance a healthy social life and getting about four or five hours of tumultuous sleep. She even tutored third and fourth years for Merlin's sake. So how in the world did she manage to start failing a class?

It was a crisp Monday evening. November was drawing to a sudden close. December seemed to only loom in the foreboding future. But Lily had time until the Quidditch game against Slytherin. She had other things to worry about. To start, Galen's speech about the international state of the war had been discussed at the latest Order meeting. The meeting was a grave event held only hours after Potter's big revelation. Lily almost considered not going. But she knew that someone had to fight this war; letting love get in the way would be foolish. Bishop was leaving for the States on the following Saturday. Lily was dreading the lack of his presence.

Bishop Shacklebolt was one of the few anchors of the war. Without his strategies and battle reflexes the auror department would suffer greatly. Lily spoke with Kingsley for a few minutes during the meeting. It turns out that half of the Gryffindors who graduated the previous year with Kingsley were going to the states with Bishop. Emma Vanity already left to help out with the situation in Spain. England was spreading its aurors too thinly.

Lily and Michael spoke on Sunday evening about how the Ministry was practically getting rid of all the aurors. They both knew the truth but they were afraid to even think about it. The Magical Law Enforcement Department was overrun with purists and death eater supporters. Severus Snape spoke at the Order meeting about how Voldemort wanted to get all of the strong forces of the Ministry out of the picture before he launched an attack against Bagnold. It seemed as though Voldemort was starting that plan too soon.

Hogwarts was losing the sparkle that made Lily fall in love with it. Muggleborns left by the handful every week. Lily was one of the few muggleborns still attending the school. She was the only one not to be hazed by the Marauders or any Slytherins yet. Lily had a dark suspicion that it had something to do with Potter and Jason.

Her brother refused to even meet her eyes anymore. Lily could see the pain in his eyes when he even looked at her. She felt oddly broken from Jason's cold shoulder. Lily wanted this treatment for over half a year, but she never truly gave a thought to how it would feel.

Lily remembered an odd memory from her childhood. There was a long hallway in the Gastor Manor, which was covered in a light gold carpet. When she was seven Jason, Benedict Auclair, and herself would race across the marble floor leading to the carpet. Once they reached the carpet, they had to propel their bodies forward and whoever landed the farthest would win. After many carpet burns and an incident where Jason had to be taken to St. Mungos for landing on a vase from the sixteenth century, Lily's parents had the carpet removed from the hallway.

The feeling of the burn against her knees and the skin of her elbows seemed to return every time she looked at Jason. But this time the burn was on her heart. It seemed to be amplified by a large magnifying glass too.

" Miss Evans are you paying attention?" Professor McGonagall demanded. Lily blinked sharply and looked up. She blushed as her stern teacher looked down at her.

" I'm sorry Professor about my grades. I guess I was caught up with what happened to Michael," Lily said in a sheepish voice. Her teacher's eyes flickered with a glimmer of pity.

" Miss Evans it's not me you should be apologizing to, it's yourself. There is going to be a test on next Thursday. If you do not get above an Acceptable, then I will have to drop you from the class," Professor McGonagall explained. Lily nodded and looked down. She heard her teacher sigh as the stern lady leaned against her desk.

" Lily I know that times are getting rough here. Between Order meetings, prefect duties, captain duties, and all of the classes you're taking this year must be tough. You're a gifted student Miss Evans, you can do so much but that could change if you don't dedicate some of your time for yourself," Professor McGonagall continued.

" I'm afraid I don't know what you're hinting at Professor," Lily answered. Her teacher's eyes filled with something close to disappointment.

" Your friends talk a bit too loudly during my class. I've noticed that you don't come to meals very often. I overheard Miss Vance informing Mr. McKinnon that you stay up for practically the entire night and that you leave the dorm before six in the morning. Miss Evans your health is more important than balancing your classes," Professor McGonagall said in a concerned voice.

Lily bit her lip and looked down in guilt. The thing about how Lily was raised was that she shifted from too many sets of parent figures. Her parents were loving, although distant. Her grandparents were weighed down by the abandonment of a daughter and the loss of a son. Lily almost pitied Professor Gladstone for having to grow up with parents like that. Mr. and Mrs. Kingsmill were the only parental figures she had in Greece. She loved them so much that leaving them broke her innocent heart. In France, Lily adored the company of Darcy Auclair. But it was only now that she realized her time in France was actually rather messed up. Benjy kept her in an almost abusive friendship to start. His dad worked long hours and left her and him alone for days at a time. When Pericles became Lily's guardian, he wasn't a parent of sorts. Pericles would forever be the scrawny and gangly boy of Lily's youth. And lastly her newest guardian, Jason; Jason was her brother and old best friend. Lily never had a true parent since the day she left Greece after the deaths of the Lilius family.

But in Professor McGonagall's office that evening, Lily felt almost comforted by the thought that people were concerned about her. Her friends and even some of her teachers cared for her. Her heart bled love from that notion.

" I've been getting bad nightmares Professor. I keep seeing what happened to me back in June," Lily explained. It was true, well partly. Her dreams were layers of memories and demons. Among the visions of her torture back in June were fragments of seeing those she cared for getting hurt and even Potter's malicious stare.

" Mr. Wood sought consulting after the events of last June. Professor Dumbledore used to meet with him to discuss certain events over the summer. Professor Dumbledore said he left something with you that you assist you. Try using that or talk to someone Miss Evans. Mr. Wood said that speaking to someone else helped him," Professor McGonagall concluded.

Lily blinked in surprise; Michael never told her about his secret meetings with Professor Dumbledore. But then again she did keep some secrets from him. Lily made a note to talk to Michael later.

" I'll try that Professor. Thanks for your help. I'll study with Emmeline and Gideon for the exam on Thursday," Lily answered. Emmeline and Gideon were the best Transfiguration students of her friends. Professor McGonagall nodded and looked as though she wanted to say something. But Lily was already out the door before her teacher could speak. Minerva McGonagall wasn't quite a master of the matters of the heart but she did have her own issues with love. She pulled the drawer of her desk open and looked at the grainy muggle picture of a handsome and dark man. Her heart panged as she shut the door close. Minerva had a castle to protect; her love life could be delayed for now.

Lily closed the door to the Transfiguration classroom behind her and turned. Her nose hit a hard surface and her hands released the paper she was holding. Lily stumbled on the heels of her shoes and a pair of strong arms immediately wrapped around her waist to steady her. Lily ended up pressed flush against someone's chest. She smelled a sharp and tangy green apple scent. Lily looked up and met a pair of hazel eyes.

Potter wore a pair of trousers and a jacket over a black t-shirt. His broom was positioned against the wall behind him. Lily noticed that he kept his broom in better condition than she kept hers. She made a note to polish her broom soon. Potter's eyes flashed for a moment and he let go of Lily with an awkward movement. The two stared at each other for a moment. Potter's eyes down to the ground and he noticed the fallen paper. Lily watched in horror as he leaned down to pick it up. His eyes instinctively looked down and gleamed wickedly at the grade marked on the essay. Lily flushed as he handed her the essay.

" I never thought I'd see the day when a Gastor failed anything. I mean I know that your family is more of the Charms and Dark Arts sort but still…" Potter commented. Lily pushed the essay into her bag and brushed a lock of hair from her forehead.

" Potter this is your fault! You made me miss that class period back in October on Animagi and now I've managed to fail something. I've never gotten below an E in my entire life you arse," Lily hissed.

Potter smirked but there was a guarded edge to his eyes. Lily knew that had something to do with what happened on Saturday. He moved closer to her and Lily was engulfed by the scent of his cologne. She looked up and noticed that his hair was slightly wet; Slytherin's Quidditch team did practice on Mondays and Wednesdays. She wondered why his practice had ended so late.

Lily had an appointment with her Transfiguration teacher that night since Professor McGonagall had requested to meet her later in the day during her class. Lily knew that it had something to do with the essay, which every person in her class, but herself, got back.

" I told you that I would tutor you in exchange for a good snog," Potter murmured. Lily frowned; it was as if Potter seemed to forget all about the event that transpired on Saturday night. She wished that she had a hold strong enough on her emotions to do that.

" Don't worry Potter. Gideon and Adam are more than capable of doing that," Lily shot back. Suddenly her back was pressed harshly into the wall of the castle. Lily's chin was tugged up and she met Potter's eyes. He looked thoroughly annoyed.

" Maybe working with McKinnon would be better. Prewitt hasn't dated any girls steadily since he was with that half-blood," Potter growled. Lily rolled her eyes at his possessive nature. She shoved him away and straightened her uniform.

" Potter I've got the bloody message. You nearly killed one of my friends for being there for me. I won't even think about the idea of sex with anyone except you," Lily hissed. She noticed her mistake too late. Suddenly Potter let out a peal of warm laughter. It was the kind of laughter that could light up the most gray of days.

" Already dreaming about the sex we're going to have Evans?" Potter teased. Lily huffed and ignored the almost fond tone in his voice. She couldn't keep the blush from rising to her cheeks. Those were only dreams, they meant nothing, Lily thought.

" I'm planning on living a nice and long celibate life Potter," Lily quickly amended. Potter frowned and ran a hand through his wet hair. Lily wrinkled her nose as droplets of water landed on her face. She reached up to brush the water from her lips but Potter beat her to the punch. Lily froze as Potter's callused fingers tugged the drop of water from her lips. They lingered for only a moment too long. Suddenly voices echoed in the hallway. Lily bit her lip and glanced up in concern. She couldn't afford to be seen in public with Potter. There was already gossip about her and Jason for Circe's sake.

In a flash of movements, Potter quickly pulled Lily into his arms and shoved her inside of a nearby broom closet. Lily's bag was heaved to one of the cramp shelves and her back was pressed into Potter's chest as he shut the door. Her eyes stared at the rags and bottles of cleaning solution on the shelf she was level with. Lily tried to turn and Potter assisted her. She managed to get her upper body against his chest with her face sitting near his collarbone. Her lower body was trapped in between the cramped confinements and Potter's long and muscular legs. Lily let out a gasp of pain as her calves hit something sharp. Potter quickly grabbed her lower body and tugged it up. Lily squirmed as he rearranged them so she was more comfortable.

" Evans stop moving so much. You're shoving your breast against my face and I as much as I love that I'd prefer for us not to fall out of this broom closet," Potter growled in a low voice. Lily froze and looked down at the top of his head as he twisted her lower body to face him. Suddenly he dropped her and she tripped into his arms. Lily closed her eyes in horror as he was pressed against the door.

" Alex I doubt that there are death eaters in that broom closet," a familiar voice boomed. Lily dryly noticed that there was a death eater in the broom closet. She swore that voice belonged to someone she knew. It had a strong accent warped around it. But Lily's mind was a bit distracted from the close proximity of Potter's body to hers. His hands moved to pull her even closer from the waist. Lily blinked and flushed when she felt Potter's body harden in a certain region.

" Galen I grew up with Auror Alastor Moody. He's drilled that goddamn constant vigilance shit into me since I could walk," a voice answered. Lily heard a blunt French accent trace the words. Galen…. Oh she knew a Galen! Galen and Alex Moody were taking a walk to Professor McGonagall's office. Lily drew in a sharp breath; Galen was recruiting Alex for the Order. She couldn't let Potter overhear the rest of the conversation. Both Galen and Alex would be at further risk from that.

" Why are you taking me to Professor McGonagall's office anyways? I suggest that we spend our evenings hitting up the bars in Hogsmeade to meet girls. I'm afraid that Professor McGonagall isn't really in our age group Kingsmill or my type," Alex exclaimed. Lily's palms filled with sweat as Potter frowned against her hairline and leaned against the door. One sudden idea came to her. Lily knew it was a dreadful one but it was the only thing she could think of.

" You're being recru-," Galen declared. Before Lily or Potter could hear the rest of his exclamation, Lily grabbed Potter's head and pulled it to hers. She leaned up and pulled his head down as her lips caught his in a passionate kiss. Well Lily was certainly under pressure and her mind was already creating fantasies of snogging Potter….

He reacted immediately. Lily was pushed into the shelves of the broom closet and Potter's mouth fought against hers fervently. Lily moaned as his lips licked her bottom lip and she opened her mouth eagerly. Suddenly Potter grabbed her legs and pulled them up. Lily unconsciously wrapped her long legs around Potter's muscular and taut hips. Her body was pushed up so that Potter didn't need to lean down to kiss her. Her lips battled his lips in a war of sparks and flames. Lily reached up and entwined her fingers in Potter's hair. How did he have such soft hair? He moaned slightly and pushed her further against the shelves. Lily couldn't even feel the sharp pain of her back's discomfort over her passion.

Potter's fingers danced over her skin. They were lighters igniting her in flames. Lily gasped into Potter's mouth as his fingers unbuttoned the first button of her shirt. She felt his fingers caress the skin of her neck and collarbone. Suddenly his lips left her mouth and she felt disappointment fill her. This was quickly replaced with lust when his lips moved to embrace the skin of her jaw and neck.

" James…" Lily gasped as his teeth bit into the skin of her pulse point. She leaned her head back against the surface of the dusty shelf to give him a clear path. His fingers pulled the material of her shirt from her skirt and moved to pull the buttons apart. Lily heard him growl against her skin in frustration. She heard a ripping noise as the skin of her upper chest and stomach were exposed to the cold air. Lily shivered slightly and Potter pushed his chest even closer to her. She moved her hands from his hair to pull his jacket off. He moved so she could tug the material of his jacket from his body. Lily's hands quickly pulled the material of his t-shirt off as his mouth captured hers again.

His hands moved so she could pull his shirt off. Lily let out a low noise of satisfaction as her hands moved against the plane of his muscular chest. Quidditch really did pay off in Potter's case. His tongue led hers in a fiery crescendo as they pulled each other even closer.

Lily gasped as his fingers moved down to the material of her green lace bra. Lily's mouth was abandoned as Potter traced a path of kisses down to the arch of her breasts. Lily's bracelet carved a harsh path into the skin of Potter's torso as she traced his chiseled muscles.

" Lily…" Potter moaned against the arch of her breast. Lily felt his hands move to the curves of her breasts and leaned her head back. Suddenly a whiplash of sense came over her. Why was she letting Potter near her breasts? Lily didn't know if Galen and Alex were gone yet. She bit her lip as she shoved her body against Potter's and pushed him against the door of the closet. Her back let out a painful ache and she knew that those shelves were going to bruise her. But it was for the greater good.

Lily pulled Potter's chin up and forced his hands to hold her hips as she threw her lips against his. He reacted passionately against her sudden display of control. Lily shoved him against the door and his back hit it with a hard noise. She was in control; thank Merlin.

Her lips battled against his for control. Lily pushed her chest against his and let out a throaty moan of pleasure. He smirked against her lips and pulled her in for another battle. But before his tongue could even twine around hers, the door of the broom closet was thrown open and Potter fell to the ground. Lily blinked sharply from the light coming from a wand. Her chest was pushed against Potter's as he hit the ground. Lily winced as her legs caught the landing of his hips.

Lily blinked as gold light shone at her. She looked up from Potter and met a pair of raged gold eyes. Suddenly Lily was pulled from Potter's form and thrown into another pair of arms. She gaped at the sight of her brother.

" Fucking Merlin Prongs! I checked the bloody map to see where the hell you disappeared to and I see that you and my baby sister are in a bloody broom closet!" Jason hissed He looked at Lily with upset clear in his eyes. His cheeks turned pink as he examined her. Suddenly he let go of her and pulled his cloak from his shoulders.

" Your shirt's ripped," Jason muttered. Lily looked down and noticed that her shirt had been ripped open. Her entire front was clear for the world to see. Lily frowned at the sight of her bruised ribs. They still weren't completely healed from that crash in the stands at the Quidditch match. She took Jason's cloak and pulled it on. Lily wrapped it over her chest and looked up. Potter was watching her and Jason. She gulped at the sight of his diluted eyes.

Suddenly Jason moved from her to Potter. Lily gasped when she heard a concise crack and heard Potter swear.

" She's my sister you sick arse! I don't care about your betrothal; she is under my jurisdiction until you turn seventeen and I'd prefer for her not to loose her virginity to you when she is still underage," Jason shouted. Lily's senses returned to her as Potter wiped the blood from his nose. She noticed his shirtless state and blushed.

" What were you even thinking Lily?" Jason demanded. Lily blinked sharply and bit her lip. She looked down at the ground and noticed that Jason moved closer to her.

" I'm not in the bloody mood to deal with this. Prongs I'm going to escort Lily back to her common room. I'll meet you in our dorm. It's time we've had a conversation about boundaries," Jason barked. Lily watched as Potter nodded almost meekly. He went into the broom closet and came out with his shirt and jacket in one hand. In his other was Lily's bag. She took it and averted looked directly into Potter's eyes.

" Lily let's go. I swear to Merlin that you two have the worst timing," Jason ordered. Lily walked towards the Gryffindor Common Room without a glance at Potter. Jason followed her and she could almost feel his angered aura. Suddenly her brother grabbed her wrist and turned her around. In the light of his wand, Lily was hyperaware of her hair's state and her swollen lips. Jason ran a hand through his hair and looked down at her with an unreadable expression.

" What's going on between you and James? Because I am certain that he was brooding on Friday since you told him that you hated him. I don't think hate leads to broom closet snog sessions," Jason demanded. Lily didn't know how her skin turned a brighter shade of red.

" Jason I'm not a child. I can handle myself," Lily pouted. Her brother took a step from her and began to pace the hallway. Lily felt something almost remorseful fill her when she noticed that Jason looked too old to be seventeen.

"Lily I can finally understand why Pericles pawned you off on me. Not one person lived to be your guardian until you turned eighteen! You're too much trouble. I thought I could do this for mum and dad but if you keep doing things like roaming the Forbidden Forest on a full moon and sneaking off to Hogsmeade during a death eater raid I'm going to go crazy! Can't you handle not doing anything cationic or being such a bloody attention whore? At any other time I'd be fine with this but with what's going on with Cassius I can't do this," Jason exclaimed.

His speech tore into Lily's heart and made her feel lowly and childish. Was she really just looking for attention? Lily frowned at him last note and pushed her guiltily feelings away.

" What about Cassius?" Lily asked sharply. Jason shot her an incredulous stare and crossed his arms. Then realization hit him and he leaned back.

" That's right you don't take the time to even write to your own brother. Cassius hasn't responded to my letters for the past month. Pericles told me that Cassius hasn't written him since October. He wanted to pay Cassius a visit when he got a letter from the Goyle family. Natasha got hit with a wicked case of Vanishing Sickness back in October around Halloween. Apparently there's a bug going around the States. It hit Canada in September. Cassius wanted to leave and come back here but the Ministry is not letting anyone out of the country," Jason explained.

Lily's heart twisted in her chest at her brother's speech. Cassius loved Natasha so much. She never thought that she had seen her brooding and moody brother find so much delight in someone else's company. Natasha Goyle was a petite girl with caramel and wispy hair. Her eyes were a distinct shade of amber, which came from her mother's Runcorn genes. Lily knew that Natasha was in the choir but she never spoke to the soft girl.

" How bad is Natasha?" Lily asked in a weak voice. She couldn't imagine her brother losing something else. He lost his brothers and parents too soon. Cassius didn't deserve that. Lily had never been quite close with Cassius. He preferred the company of Lucian or Pericles to his loud and fiery younger sister. Their mum used to call Cassius a thinker. Lily just thought he was moody and quiet.

" She started out pretty slowly back in October. But it sped up last week. Cassius managed to write a note to Pericles using some parchment he found in Mungos. He says that the Healers aren't able to do much. She's lost her legs and her left arm. Her neck has this gaping hole in it. Cass says that the healers want to use a Dreamless Sleep Potion on her. Apparently she's hysterical over losing her body. Cassius said goodbye to her and they used a dosage that will keep her unconscious for the next month. Cassius is saying that she only has about two weeks left," Jason sighed.

Lily nodded and placed a hand on Jason's shoulder. She froze in pain when he shoved her hand off and ran a hand through his hair chaotically.

" Cassius isn't doing well. Pericles is leaving Athens on Wednesday to stay with Cassius until she completely disappears. I think the worst part is that I've got to tell her brother and her parents. Her brother, George, well his wife is pregnant. I doubt that finding out that his sister is disappearing will do much to help with the new-dad anxiety," Jason sighed. Lily nodded and brushed her hair from her forehead.

"Jason I didn't know about this," Lily started. Her brother turned and shot her a cold stare.

" Of course you didn't know about Cassius. It's not like you even care for any of us," Jason scoffed. Lily bit back her bile as she felt hurt enter her.

" That's not true," Lily muttered. Jason held an almost crazed gleam to his eyes as he crossed his arms and looked down at her.

" You've been trying to get us to hate you ever since you came back from France. Look Lily I'm not going to do this anymore. You've hurt too many people by acting as though you don't care about them. I'm not bloody Benedict Auclair! I'm your brother Lily. I love you so much that seeing you doing this to everybody you care for is killing me. Lily you can't push us away anymore. You've got to decide whether you're going to let people in or not. I don't want to talk to you until you do that," Jason finished.

His voice formed his bitter and lament words into a bow and arrow. The arrow flew across the hallway and pierced Lily in the heart. She blinked tersely and he began to walk away from the hallway.

" You really messed up with James. Lily he was so broken and torn up. Sirius obliviated Saturday's night from his memories. Next time he tells you that he loves you you've got to ignore your mind and listen to your heart," Jason declared.

Lily frowned and watched as her golden brother left. He left a trail of problems behind him. His words sunk in and Lily slid down the wall behind her body. She reached for her hair and let a sob out. It filled the hall with a cloud of anguish and misery. Lily lost him; Jason finally gave up on her.

She didn't let her tears out but emotions came at her like bullets; there was no escape. Her guilt and sadness let another sob come from her chest. She felt so much guilt that her tears came falling out. They landed on her lap and the cold stone of the castle with a silent plead for help.

She closed her eyes and let her head lean back. The crown of her hair brushed the surface of the wall. It hurt so much and there was nothing she could do. Jason was right; she pushed people away when they got too close to her. She forced herself to do things by herself from fear. She couldn't rely on people since they kept taking her heart and breaking it. She wasn't ready to trust again.

But Lily didn't know if she was afraid to love or afraid to have her heart broken again. She didn't know if she could trust James with her heart. She couldn't even trust herself with it. But if Lily was too afraid to love then why did Jason's speech break her so badly?

Realization hit her and her eyes flew open. Lily gasped for air and her head spun with a realization. She never really locked her heart up; because stopping yourself from loving is the most impossible thing in existence. This entire time Lily fooled herself into thinking that she would not love anybody. But she was so wrong.

Lily loved Marlene's mother-hen attitude and the way Marlene could hug someone with so much love and care. Lily loved the way that Michael could be her anchor and help her fix her broken heart even though she broke his. She loved his drive and passion so much. Lily loved that Frank and Alice were willing to fight for a cause that didn't even affect them. She loved that Emmeline always had a hand for Lily to hold. Lily loved Adam's fearless capabilities and his bravery. She loved that Fabian always looked at her with a smile even though she wasn't smiling at him. Lily loved the way Gideon could speak with so much conviction and how he opened up to her before she was ready to open up to him. She loved her friends so much and Lily never even knew that.

She loved Hogwarts so much that she was more than willing to fight for it. She loved the cold and almost moist rooms. Lily loved the way she never felt more at home than at Hogwarts. She wanted to fight for it more than anything. She wanted to fight so that other people could see the castle rise from the distance with a gossamer glow.

Lily loved Jason even though he was a monster. That's where everything fell apart. She didn't just love the lanky little boy of her memories. No, Lily loved the tall and caring man who stood in front of her only a few moments ago. She loved him for accepting her decisions and letting her do what she wanted. She loved him for being the best brother for her. He never gave up on her even though she kept pushing him away. For that Lily would be eternally grateful.

She stood and forced her body into a sprint. Her bag bounced on her hips as she ran through the hallways. Her breath caught sharply in her throat when she saw her brother's figure walking in front of her. He walked with a hidden pain and Lily knew that was all her fault.

" Jace," Lily called. He turned and saw the red-cheeked girl standing in front of him. His eyes widened as Lily smiled through her tears at him and walked over to him. She could see Jason sticking by her side through their childhood. She could see him smiling at her with a secret twinkle in his eyes. She could feel his eternal love for her and that made her heart bleed love.

Lily stood in front of him for a moment. She looked at his figure and noticed that his clothes were tight and stretched over his tall figure. He was still growing even though he towered over Lily. His eyes were a sharp gold in the light of his and Lily's wands. Her silver light met his gold light with a sharp clash. Her green eyes met his with a bolt of lightning.

Lily reached for him and pulled him into a tight embrace. Her head rested on the surface of his chest and he smiled into her hair.

" You're the best brother I could've ever asked for Jason. I love you so much. You're the only brother that stood by me through all of my stupidity and idiotic behavior. But I'm the worst sister for you. I never tried to reach out and be a proper sister. I'm done doing that. From now on the Gastor siblings who didn't leave England will stick together," Lily declared. She looked up and saw that Jason was smiling at her. His smile was the kind that could light up a room. They didn't even need their wands anymore.

" You're not that bad of a sister Lily. I think that Judea Gladstone took that award," Jason answered. Lily gawked at him; was he actually making a joke about why they got into this stupid fight? He laughed at her face and ruffled her hair affectionately.

" I've had time to get used to the idea that all of our parents' siblings are either dead or crazed lunatics. I think it makes our tragic backstory even better," Jason explained. Lily's lips twitched slightly and he noticed that. He tucked her into his shoulder and the pair walked to one of the courtyards near the hallway.

"Our parents are dead. Half of our brothers died and the other half disowned themselves to avoid their problems. We've got two dead aunts and a dead uncle. Our entire extended family, excluding some distant relation we have in the Black family, is dead. Also we come from a family of werewolf hunters so that adds a little something to it. We sound like one of those crappy novels that Pericles used to read," Jason teased.

Lily let out a peal of laughter that rang across the courtyard. The moon was high in the sky and it was only a miracle that prefects or teachers patrolling hadn't found them yet.

" You're forgetting that my brother had to care for his underage and orphan sister who insisted on creating trouble," Lily added. Jason reached for her shoulder and shoved it affectionately. Lily wrinkled her nose as his hands ruffled her neat hair.

"Don't worry Flower. I'm just making the Gastor genes more prominent. You don't get to ditch the messy hair by using some potion," Jason commented.

" It's not my fault that you have dad's hair," Lily shot back as she shoved Jason's hands from her head.

" You've got his curls Lily. I think that Lucian tried using a hair-straightening potion a year ago. He looked like a wet dog," Jason answered.

" I think that if you had straight hair it would look simply horrid. You're too wild to have mum's hair. Pericles was the closet to have it," Lily replied. She stood and noticed the late hour. Jason walked with her back to the Gryffindor Common Room. He ran a hand through his hair as he looked down at her. The Fat Lady watched them with a smug stare.

" Why did you change your mind about James anyway?" Jason asked. Lily coughed sharply and felt a blush rise to her face. She played with the strap of her bag as she looked at the floor.

" I didn't change my mind Jace. I still think that he is a narcissistic arse. I dunno I guess it just happened," Lily muttered. Her brother looked at her with a suspicious stare. He took a step back and moved to leave her.

" Lily, Sirius obliviated him for a reason. He still has those feelings for you and eventually he is going to tell you again. I didn't let Sirius do this for just James, I let him do it for you. Just give James a chance you don't know who he really is," Jason finished. Lily pursed her lips as her brother walked away. His light dimmed like sunlight as he headed down the hall.

Jason's words scared Lily. She couldn't give Potter a chance. She couldn't ever consider feeling anything for him. He was so cruel and twisted. Lily didn't know if she could trust her heart with him. She didn't want to break again. But Jason was right about one thing; she had a second chance to make things right. Lily could still see the broken look in Potter's eyes as she rejected him. She didn't want to feel anything for him but that pain and agony felt as though it was hers and not his. She promised herself that she would do everything possible to keep that look out of Potter's eyes.

* * *

" Lily why is Potter staring at you with that smarmy smirk?" a voice demanded from Lily's left. She dropped the pieces of boomslang skin in shock. Lily cringed as the fresh pieces fell to the ground. Their class was making Polyjuice Potion that day. It was a tedious affair that took two days of work. Lily noticed that most of her classmates seemed to stare at their potions with a dismal stare. Marlene wasn't the best student for Potions; their potions had to be saved every other second by Lily.

She knew why Potter was staring at her. On the previous night she snogged him. Lily wasn't ready or capable to answer his questions. She tried to ignore her curiosity but it roared inside of her.

She craned her head up and noticed that Marlene was looking behind them. Lily scowled when she noticed who was sitting at that table. Potter and Black were leaned back as they stared at the contents of their potion. Lily wrinkled her nose at the muddy color of their potion; why did they have to be good at everything?

She tucked a loose lock of her hair behind her ear as Potter's eyes flashed towards hers. She couldn't keep the blush off her face when his eyes twinkled with something close to amusement. His eyes traced her figure and landed on her lips. She glared at him before turning.

" I dunno Potter is a wanker so he's got to get something out of life," Lily replied as she measured three measure of boomslang skin. Her lips were taut against the surface of her teeth as she poured the skin into the cauldron. A sigh of relief came from Lily when the potion turned to a dark brown; they were on track.

Lily tugged Marlene and her friend looked over at her with a frown. Lily smirked as she hunted for some bicorn horns. She opened up her potions kit and frowned when she saw that she was out of it. Lily stood and tugged her skirt down as she moved to Marlene's side.

" I'm going to go and get some bicorn horn. Try not to light our potion on fire with that heated stare you're shooting at Black," Lily advised. Her friend nodded vaguely as Lily walked to the supply closet in the back of the room. She spotted some bicorn horn on the top shelf.

Lily leaned up on the tips of her feet and bit her lip as she groped the surface of the dusty shelf for the bottle. Her feet wobbled slightly as she pressed her body against the shelves. Her teeth strained tightly against the curve of her lips as she hunted for the ingredient. Lily hated her height; all of her brothers and dad were tall and muscular. Unluckily for Lily, she seemed to inherit her mum's curvy body and moderate height.

Lily let out a noise of victory as her fingers coiled around the dusty surface of the bottle. She pulled her arm back as her feet tripped against the ground. Lily clenched her eyes shut as she teetered to the ground. As usual with all damsels in distress, a pair of strong arms quickly pulled her up and against the owner's chest. Lily blinked and met the brown eyes of Michael Wood. She frowned when she noticed that his eyes were blank and glassy. His grip around her waist tightened and Lily winced in pain.

"Thanks Michael but you can let go of me now," Lily ordered in a low voice. She peered over his shoulder and tried to get a glance at the classroom. But his hands moved up her body. Lily frowned and tried to shove him away. Suddenly her body was flung into the shelf behind her. The glass bottle in her hand flew at her chest and broke from the force. Lily let out a gasp of pain as shards of glass embedded themselves into her torso.

" Michael what the hell are you doing?" Lily demanded. She struggled against him for a moment and his hands reached up to her throat. Lily shoved him away and felt her magic soar through her body as his fingers twisted around her jugular.

" Michael what's wrong with you?" Lily demanded. She looked into his eyes and noticed the blankness of them. Chills broke across her back as blood stained the surface of her shirt. He was under the Imperius Curse. She gagged for air and shoved her hands against his. He threw her against the shelves and her back hit the wood with a thud. Lily drew her knee up to kick him but he stepped on her feet.

" Michael stop," Lily choked. His eyes flicked for a moment before he continued to cut her breath off. Lily gasped and choked for air. She looked up to him with a pleading stare; she couldn't use her magic on him. Suddenly his body was thrown off of her. Lily fell to the floor and coughed for air. She winced as her neck let out an ache of pain. Someone kneeled next to her and she met a pair of charged-blue eyes.

" Potter get off of Michael! Lily's bleeding," Marlene shouted. Lily coughed and felt bile rise in her throat. The bicorn horn coated the surface of her shirt and skirt. She looked up and noticed that Jason and Amos Diggory were holding Michael down. He thrashed against them with a wild hold. His eyes met hers and he let out a scream.

" No I have to kill her! I need to kill that mudblood," Michael screeched. Lily felt waves of hurt wash over her. He knew she was a pureblood, what was wrong with him? She felt Marlene's fingers graze the surface of her shirt and let out a grunt of pain.

" McKinnon what the hell did Wood do to her?" a voice demanded. Lily let a pair of arms grab her and pull her up. She groaned as the glass in her torso stretched against her skin. Her green eyes met the hazel eyes of James Potter. She noticed the pure rage and anger in his eyes.

" I've sent Mr. Black and Miss Stevies to get the Headmaster and Professor McGonagall. Mr. Lupin is getting Madam Pomfrey I believe. What happened here?" Professor Slughorn demanded. Lily could see the confusion in his eyes as he glanced at Potter holding her. His eyes narrowed at Michael's thrashing form when he saw the glass and blood on Lily's shirt.

" I was getting some ingredients for the potion closet when I saw that Wood was choking Lily to death. Diggory was behind me and helped me get him off her. Most of the class saw what was happening and Marlene and James came to help Lily," Jason explained. Lily winced as he took his wand out and shot a stunning spell at Michael's form. He slumped in Amos and Jason's arms and they dropped him to the ground.

Slughorn nodded and dabbed his forehead with a handkerchief. He looked over to Lily. She was in Potter's arms with Marlene brushing the glass from her shirt in front on her.

" Miss Evans are you alright?" Professor Slughorn asked in a concerned tone. Lily nodded and tried to speak. Her throat let out a sharp bolt of protest and she bit her lip. Marlene saw this and tugged Lily's first button off and took her tie off. Lily felt Potter's arm tightened around her waist.

" Shit she's already got bruises," Marlene muttered. Lily tried to breathe and noticed that there was a dull ache in her neck. She wondered how bad the damage was. A crowd of students stood around the area of the broom closet as Potter and Marlene led her out. A blush covered Lily's face as she stared at the group of her peers. Some looked at Potter with confusion; why was he involved with Mudblood Evans?

Before anyone could move, the door to the room swung open. Lily watched as Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey entered. Following them were Melissa Stevies and Remus Lupin. Malfoy entered the room and his eyes narrowed when he saw Michael's limp form and Lily's bleeding one.

" What happened here?" he demanded. His steel blue eyes flashed at the arm Potter had around Lily's waist. She pulled herself from Potter's grip and ignored his sharp stare.

Madam Pomfrey bustled over to her as Professor Slughorn explained what happened. Lily sucked her in breath and clenched her hand around Marlene's while Madam Pomfrey pulled the glass from her chest.

" Miss McKinnon could you help Miss Evans up to the hospital wing? I need to look at her without her shirt," Madam Pomfrey asked. Marlene nodded and Lily frowned when her friend glanced towards Black. What happened between them? Marlene grabbed both of their bags from their desk and helped Lily out of the classroom. Lily looked back for only a moment when she saw Michael's limp form.

" He was under the Imperius Curse," Lily said. Her voice twisted and sounded weak. But all of the people in the room turned to look at her. Malfoy scoffed and Lily frowned at him.

" I doubt that you would know what the Imperius Curse looks like. Let's not throw ideas around Miss Evans," Malfoy snorted. Lily caught Professor McGonagall's eyes and her teacher looked conflicted. She looked over to Jason and Potter who stood with Black and Lupin. Potter's eyes flashed with emotion as he looked at her.

" He wouldn't try to kill me," Lily argued. She ignored the pain in her neck and torso as she turned to face her Headmaster. His eyes narrowed and he stuck his head up with a pretentious air.

" Miss McKinnon please take her away. She's got no idea what happened here," Malfoy ordered. Lily ignored Marlene's grip as she faced her headmaster with a sharp frown.

" I think I do Professor. Shouldn't you know about the Unforgivables more than anyone? I think that you used at least two on a friend of mine," Lily exclaimed.

Her announcement rang with sharpness through the room. Lily ignored the pull from her magic at her enraged words. She could remember Harland Evans more than anything. She could hear his tortured screams and the blank look in his eyes as Malfoy shot the killing curse at him. She could feel the anger and rage pummel through her with speed. Malfoy's eyes switched from a raged shade of blue to a fearful shade of steel. Lily felt her magic slink from its prison as she blinked.

She sucked in a breath and moved passed Marlene before anyone could do anything. Her hip brushed the bags in Marlene's hand and a book fell from her bag as she ran from the room. She clenched her fists as her magic shoved against its prison and released itself. She managed to get to the entrance hall before her hands lit up with heat.

A sudden burst of pain hit her and Lily crumpled to the ground right in front of the hall. Her cheek hit the stone with a distant sting as she groaned under the power of her magic. Lily gasped as it tried to take control. It was too powerful for her to handle. She clenched her eyes shut and pressed her hands together in a tight lock. A groan escaped her mouth as it seemed to hit her with power. Lily curled into a ball and let a loose scream out as it lashed at her. She could feel dull pain in her chest and tried to stand.

Lily opened her eyes and noticed that the veins in her hands were prominent. She was only lucky that class was in session. But not lucky enough that people wouldn't look for her. Lily met a pair of shocked gray eyes as her magic pounded and screamed for freedom. A vague idea entered her head as she wondered how she looked. Sirius Black took a step towards her and Lily managed to get to a crawling position. She stuck her hand out in front of her and motioned for him to leave.

" Get out Black," Lily ordered. Black's eyes widened as he caught a glance at her. Lily saw fear fill him; her magic crooned with triumph. It wanted to kill him so badly. He has done nothing but made your stay in Hogwarts hell, it offered in a seductive voice. Lily shoved against it and clenched around control. She fell to the ground as a burst of fire appeared in her hand. Black took his wand out and it was pointed towards Lily. She screamed for him to put it down right as her magic took control. Lily watched in horror as it let out a growl of victory. Black stared at her with fear and her magic let fire lick her hands. Lily screamed as a spell shot from Black's wand.

She shoved her magic from its greedy victory and pushed her body out of the way. Lily gasped for air and pushed her magic back into its cage. It fought back and Lily felt tears form in her eyes as it hit her with horrible memories. It wanted to take the world down in flames. It wanted so much destruction and Lily was afraid what would happen to her if she had to deal with this for the rest of her life.

She gasped for air as she finally pushed the last stretch of it back into its prison. Fresh guard enforcements and tighter manacles were formed in seconds. Lily rolled over to her back and stared at the ceiling of the hall with bitter victory. She won but Black knew that there was something wrong with her.

" Evans what the fuck was that? What happened to your eyes and that bloody fire?" Black demanded. Lily heard a bell ring and pushed her body into a weak standing position. She leaned against the wall of the castle and looked down at her still bleeding torso.

" That's what it looks like when someone's magic isn't willing to bond to their soul Black," Lily managed to answer. She heard voices echo through the halls; people were coming.

" What the hell does that mean?" Black demanded. Lily wiped her brow and pulled sweat-covered strands of hair from her forehead.

" It's a family curse from my mum's side. She didn't have it since it's rare. I think that the last person in her family to have the curse before me died a few centuries back," Lily answered.

" How'd did they die?" Black asked. He moved closer to Lily with a suspicious walk. Lily sighed and looked down at the bracelet on her left hand. She frowned and pulled one of the charms; the broken heart wasn't broken anymore. It was a bright ruby red and not a single crack rested in the full curve.

" He lit a forest on fire. The muggles thought that Hephaestus, a Greek god, was angry with them. Most of the people with the gene usually have a certain flair for fire. My mum didn't have the gene but she had a preference for Bluebell fire. It's like that with my mum's family, well only me since most of them are dead. Jason didn't really have an aptitude for it. He's never displayed any strong usage of fire spells has he Black?" Lily asked.

Black brushed one of his curls from his shoulder and frowned. Lily licked her lips as people streamed into the entrance hall. She could see Marlene and Potter walking towards them.

" No Jason never showed any preference for elemental magic. So how does this work? You just light things on fire when you're mad?" Black asked. Before Lily could answer him, a hand grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the owner's chest. Lily met Potter's eyes with a meek stare.

" Why did you leave? Professor Malfoy sent us out to look for you. And you've bled all over the entrance hall," Potter demanded. Lily looked towards Sirius with a pleading stare. No one alive except for her, Professor Dumbledore, Judea Gladstone, and Black knew. Lily never told any of the Kingsmills about her magic. She couldn't risk that type of information getting in the hands of Voldemort. She told Benedict Auclair and he almost took her to Voldemort. Lily would rather die than give Voldemort that type of power.

" She had a panic attack. Jason told me that she's been having them since that incident back in June Prongs," Black quipped from behind her. Lily gaped at him; why was he keeping her secret? Potter narrowed his eyes and Marlene moved towards Black. Lily didn't see the stare Marlene shot Black.

" Can we continue this later Potter? People are already talking about how we spend too much time together. Even though you pretty much claimed all rights to bully Mudblood Evans," Lily declared. Potter's eyes flashed with mutiny but he let go of her. Lily moved towards Marlene and the pair walked up to the hospital wing. After Pomfrey treated Lily's cuts and bruises, they left for lunch.

Lily frowned when she noticed that Michael wasn't at the table. She adjusted the bandage Pomfrey wrapped over her neck to keep the swelling down as she sat next to Marlene. She let Marlene explain to their friends what happened as she barely tolerated their mother-henning.

" Who do you think hit Michael with the Imperius Curse?" Adam asked towards the end of the period.

" I think it was Gastor or Potter. Both of them were suspects when those Slytherins ambushed Michael. Maybe they're trying to get him sent to Azkaban for killing a muggleborn," Alice offered. Lily squirmed for a moment before adjusting the sleeves of her new shirt, which Marlene procured from her bag.

"I spoke with Professor Kingsmill during DADA today. He says that Bishop and Moody want more people to be on call during the week. I spoke with Moody during the last meeting. He said that the seventh years are allowed to volunteer their services on week days now," Frank answered.

" That's rubbish Lily and I can do the same exact spells as you lot," Marlene pointed out. Adam frowned as he grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl. Lily finished her plate of pasta and took an orange from the fruit bowl.

" Marlene don't do this here. You're already a liability for the Order," Fabian said in a low voice.

" What do you mean?" Lily asked suddenly. Her friends noticed her hoarse voice with cringes. She blushed and Fabian looked at Marlene with an angered expression.

" She's betrothed to Black. It's already been decided that her memories of the Order meetings and anything to do with it will be obliviated before Black turns seventeen. He could just ask her to tell him everything about the Order otherwise," Fabian spat. Lily frowned and saw that Marlene was staring at her lap. Why wasn't Marlene saying anything to Fabian? Something seemed off between both of them.

" Marlene we've got Transfiguration let's go," Lily managed to croak. She wrinkled her nose at her voice as Marlene and her left the hall for the Transfiguration room.

" What happened between you and Fabian?" Lily demanded. Her friend frowned as she examined the thick braid her hair was in.

" It's nothing too bad; other than the fact that our relationship is doomed. My mum wrote to me. She spoke with Alice's mum and found out about Fabian. She and Dad are threatening to make me stay at home until Black turns seventeen if I don't break up with Fabian," Marlene managed to say.

" I'm sorry Marlee," Lily croaked. Marlene nodded and sniffled slightly. She tuned to Lily after a moment with a watery expression.

" It's alright. I mean Fabian and I knew that our relationship wouldn't end in a happily ever after. It's just that knowing something before doesn't make the pain any worse," Marlene answered. Lily pulled her friend into a tight hug and sighed into her shoulder.

" We're a screwed up pair aren't we? Potter tells me he loves me and I broke his heart so badly that Black and Jason had to obliviate him," Lily admitted as they walked towards the Transfiguration classroom. Marlene's eyes lit up with amusement before she frowned.

" I never really liked Potter. I'll tell you a little secret, I used to have a crush on Jason back in first year," Marlene revealed. Lily gagged for a moment. Sure Jason was sweet but Lily didn't want to know that her best friend fell under his charms. Marlene shoved her with an embarrassed expression.

" Shut up Lily! You're one to talk; what's going on between you and dreamy Galen Kingsmill?" Marlene demanded as they entered the classroom. Lily shrugged and took a seat in the middle of the room; she didn't need the entire class to know that she was struggling with a class.

" Marlene I knew him since he wasn't so gorgeous. He used to be a skinny twig back when I was ten. I mean we kissed a couple of times but he's like my brother. Even if I weren't trapped in a betrothal with Potter, Galen and I would never end up together. We both care too much for our siblings who are dangerously in love with each other," Lily answered as she pulled her parchment and quill from her bag.

" Pericles and Galen's little sister? Isn't he like four years older than her?" Marlene asked. Lily nodded as students streamed into their classroom.

" That's not much of an age gap Marlee. I mean look at your parents. They've got what, seven years in between them," Lily teased. Marlene blushed and didn't deny that. Connor McKinnon's marriage to the much younger Katie Fawley was common gossip from ages ago.

" Anyways Selena and I always had a taste for older men," Lily mockingly said with a cheeky grin. It wasn't exactly true, but Marlene wasn't looking too happy when Lily mentioned her parents. Marlene grinned but before she could say anything a voice interrupted.

" Miss Evans the Headmaster would like to speak with you and Mr. Potter in his office right now," a voice declared. Lily looked up and saw that Professor McGonagall had entered the room with a grim look. Lily nodded and saw that Potter was sitting in the back with his friends. After McGonagall told him the same thing, Lily followed him out of the classroom when the bell rang.

" Where's Michael?" Lily asked. She struggled to keep up with Potter's long gait and he slowed down to walk next to her. His arm brushed hers and Lily pulled away.

" Hospital wing," Potter answered in a short voice. Lily frowned; was he mad at her? Suddenly her body was thrown into a broom closet and pressed against the shelves. Lily gasped as Potter closed the door behind him and used his wand to light up the small enclosure.

" Potter we've got a meeting with Malfoy! I'm not particularly in the mood for a snog session in a broom closet," Lily squeaked as he moved to have his chest against hers. His fingers crawled up her chest and landed on the bandages adorned heavily on her neck. Lily pulled back as Potter ripped her bandages off.

" What are you doing?" Lily demanded. His eyes flashed with rage and anger as he examined the thick bruises on her neck. Lily couldn't hold her wince back when he tried to touch her injured skin.

" I'm going to kill Wood," Potter hissed. Lily quickly grabbed his chin and pulled it down. She frowned into his eyes and cleared her throat.

" James he was under the Imperius Curse. He didn't know what he was doing," Lily pleaded. The usage of his first name slipped out. Lily liked the way her voice wrapped around the letters. But she couldn't let Potter hurt Michael again. She couldn't see Michael go through that type of pain and torture. Potter wore a stubborn expression on his face as he wrapped his arms over her waist and pulled her to his chest. Lily gasped when his lips brushed the surface of her forehead. Bolts of electricity seemed to rise from his mere touch. Her magic cowered in its prison. Lily wondered why it was afraid of him.

" Lily he was going to kill you. I don't want you near him," Potter ordered. Lily blinked sharply and her face crumpled. Why didn't Potter understand that Michael wasn't at fault here?

" Black tried to kill me and you're fine with him being around me," Lily pointed out. Potter's eyes flickered with annoyance. Lily felt his fingers tap a tune against her hips and his heart beat against her neck.

" Sirius actually likes you, you know," Potter said in an amused voice. Lily frowned and Potter chuckled.

" He thinks that you're a good friend for Marlene. She wasn't close with any of her dorm mates, even Meadows. I think that he was worried about how much time she spent with Wood and Fenwick. He also says that you've got a certain flair for dramatics," Potter explained.

" I'm not dramatic," Lily argued. Potter let out a roar of amused laughter and looked at Lily with a smile. She scowled at her heart for skipping a beat from his mere smile.

" Lily you're the most dramatic person I've had the pleasure to meet. It's as if the Gastor dramatics are drilled into your veins but you're too stubborn to accept them so you act modest and try to blend into the shadows. Evans it's almost comical how people's eyes immediately glance towards you when you enter the Great Hall," Potter teased. His mouth moved down to embrace the smooth surface of Lily's skin. She wrinkled her nose and pulled herself away from him.

" Potter stop kissing me. We're supposed to be in Malfoy's office right now," Lily pointed out. Potter let out a low chuckle against her jaw and she couldn't help but gasp.

" You're right. We wouldn't want Prefect Lily Evans to miss a meeting with the headmaster," Potter drawled. He quickly pulled up and opened the door. Lily blinked as he stepped out of the broom closet. She followed him with a slight blush on her face as they walked to Malfoy's office.

" Professor Malfoy? Professor McGonagall sent me and Evans," Potter called out.

" Come in Mr. Potter," Malfoy called from his office. Lily followed Potter inside of the classroom and sat next to him on the couch in front of Malfoy's desk. She avoided Malfoy's piercing stare and looked down at her bracelet. When did that charm change? Lily frowned at the small heart but Malfoy interrupted her thoughts.

" We've tested the wands of every person in your classroom for the usage of the Imperius Curse. A Hufflepuff by the name of Georgia Sumiton came back positive. It seems that Miss Evans was right about that spell," Malfoy started. His eyes flickered to the sharp bruises on Lily's neck. She blushed as Potter crossed his arms and leaned back.

" Sumiton isn't the brightest student out there. I doubt that she's spoken a word to Evans since the start of term. So why would she want to kill Evans?" Potter demanded. Malfoy looked over to him with something close to pity in his eyes.

" Simple Mr. Potter; Miss Evans is a muggleborn and Hogwarts isn't the safest environment for muggleborns. We've attempted to contact your parents regarding what happened but our records do not have any guardian to contact," Malfoy directed at Lily.

" My parents are dead. I'm under the jurisdiction of the Ministry," Lily lied. She was rather proud of that lie but the devious look in Malfoy's eyes had her short-handed.

" That's interesting because I contacted some old friends of mine at the Ministry and they informed me that you've got a guardian. It's just that that information in under lock and key in a vault. Why don't you want people to know who your guardian is Miss Evans?" Malfoy demanded. Lily scowled at him internally before letting a lie slip from her mouth.

" It's dangerous for muggleborns sir. It's worse for muggle sister who are listed as the muggleborns' guardian," Lily explained.

" I'm afraid we have no records of a sister Miss Evans," Malfoy countered. Lily didn't realize that she was leaning in as she argued with Malfoy.

"My parents knew about the war so they paid a large sum to keep her and themselves concealed from the wizarding world," Lily answered. Her lies shot secret thrills through her back. Potter watched her with an amused gleam in his eyes. Malfoy seemed to be out of further questions. He looked down and saw a flash of silver. Lily watched his eyes widen at the bracelet on her wrist.

" Miss Evans that's an interesting bracelet you've got," Malfoy pointed out. Lily looked down to her family heirloom. Potter's eyes flickered at the sight of the Gastor family jewelry. Lily sucked in a breath when Malfoy saw the two large Gs on the bracelet.

" They're for my mum's maiden name; Greenwood. She was from the states and brought the necklace with her when she moved here for school," Lily said in a sickly honest voice. Malfoy nodded but a heavy gleam sat in his eyes.

" That's goblin-made Miss Evans. I know that for a fact. So how did a muggle get their hands on a goblin made bracelet," Malfoy demanded. Lily blinked and the perfect lie came to her.

" I've got a squib as an ancestor somewhere up in my family tree. The bracelet was passed down for about two hundred years," Lily replied. The bracelet had actually been passed down for over five hundred years, but Malfoy didn't need to know about that.

" Right then. Well Miss Evans I've looked through your records. You've got a certain flair for trouble," Malfoy commented. Lily rolled her eyes as his fingers brushed a large folder on his desk.

" It's more like trouble finds me sir," Lily replied. Malfoy nodded before turning to Potter.

" Well we've scheduled a hearing for Miss Sumiton with the School Governors. Her charges are for expulsion. Sadly for her she comes from a half-blood family with no connections on the Governors Board. She is expected to leave grounds on Friday," Malfoy declared. Lily frowned and sat up.

" Sir that's a little harsh isn't it? Did you even find out why she used an Unforgivable?" Lily demanded.

" She says that she has no recollection of the incident. We've looked through her recent memories and there is nothing to support the claim that she actually used the spell. But the Governors have decided their verdict before the hearing. Her wand had traces of the spell on it and for that she must pay the consequences," Malfoy answered.

" They're going to snap her wand?" Potter suddenly asked. Malfoy nodded and Lily felt a burst of anger soar through her. Sumiton's wand could've been stolen to perform the spell. Potter noticed the gleam in her eyes and touched her hand. Lily let the waves of comfort wash over her and Malfoy watched them with a frown.

" Mr. Potter isn't it a bit risky for someone in your position to be with a muggleborn?" Malfoy asked. Lily gaped at his outward blatancy and Potter scoffed.

" Professor the idea of dating a sick arse like Potter makes me repulsed," Lily quickly exclaimed. She pushed Potter's hand away and Malfoy turned to her with a sneer on his face.

" You might want to watch what you say Miss Evans. Mr. Potter certainly has a streak for mischief and revenge," Malfoy said in a low voice. Lily narrowed her eyes at his implications and he smiled almost smugly at her.

" Miss Evans do you feel safe at Hogwarts? The Board of Governors may pass a new law letting muggleborns leave school grounds if they feel that the wizarding world is too dangerous," Malfoy explained.

"Considering that the Governors also made a law keeping students trapped here against their will and their parents' will I think that law will do little good," Lily replied. Malfoy nodded before gesturing for her and Potter to stand.

" Just know that if your presence is too much of a danger to the students of Hogwarts I will have no choice but to expel you Miss Evans," Malfoy announced. Lily smiled tersely and pulled the strap of her bag on her shoulder.

" Well it's a shame that I don't endanger my peers. Maybe you should try taking a page from my book Professor. So far under your rule as Headmaster, over ten students have almost died," Lily answered in an innocent voice.

" I didn't let any of them die though. Unlike my predecessor," Malfoy jeered. Lily glared at him before Potter interrupted.

" We've got class Evans. I'll see you at the next meeting Professor Malfoy," Potter quickly exclaimed. He grabbed Lily and tugged her towards the door before she or Malfoy could say anything.

" Be sure to watch who you are interacting with Mr. Potter. I can only keep this little tryst a secret for so long," Malfoy called from his desk. Lily turned to yell at him but Potter shoved her out of the door.

" Five months Professor. By March you'll have a perfectly good explanation," Potter shouted. He shut the door behind him and turned to Lily.

" Have you got a death wish Evans?" Potter demanded. Lily ignored him and tried to walk down the hall towards their classroom. Potter grabbed her wrist and turned her.

" No but I think that Malfoy's decision to expel Georgia is shit. I doubt that she could even do a bat bogey hex without crying," Lily scoffed.

" Lily you can't do this anymore. If you try to save every student at Hogwarts you're going to end up killing yourself," Potter exclaimed.

" Potter don't say my name! I can't just drop everything and turn into the perfect future Mrs. James Potter when you ask. I don't want to frankly. You're so bloody selfish Potter. What if someone took my wand and used it to do that spell. I'd probably be in Azkaban by now," Lily replied in a low voice. It shook with sharp anger and her accent warped into the words. Potter's eyes flashed with wrath and he pushed her against the surface of the wall.

" If that happened then Jason would've used a revealing charm on your birthmark and you wouldn't keep pretending to be muggleborn Lily Evans," Potter hissed. Lily scoffed and folded her arms.

" You're a bastard James Potter," Lily declared. Potter's eyes flashed with sharp amusement and he slinked over to her. Lily shivered unconsciously when his lips brushed the soft skin of her ear.

" You're adorable when you're angry Evans," Potter revealed in a husky voice against her ear. Lily froze and felt him pull her hips against his. She bit her lip as his lips moved closer and closer to hers. She blinked and reality came back to her. Lily closed her eyes as she pulled her knee up and Potter let out a low curse. Lily opened her eyes and saw that he was on the floor clutching a certain region of his body.

She grabbed the strap of her bag and walked quickly away from him. She managed to get to the curve of the hallway when a spell hit her back. Lily lost control of her limbs as she crashed to the ground. She could see the gray and sleet blue stones come closer to her face. But before she could even hit the surface of the ground a pair of arm dragged her into the owner's hold. Lily let out a choked noise when she met Potter's smug eyes.

" Lily why do you insist on jeopardizing any chances of us having children? I think that a night in my dorm would do you some good" Potter growled. Before Lily could even blink he took his wand out and shot a spell at her. Darkness grabbed her and pulled her into its endless sea. Lily felt a bolt of fear rise inside of her from the gleam in Potter's eyes.

Her eyes wrenched open and she gasped for air. Lily blinked sharply and her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room she was in. Lily tried to sit up but an arm was wrapped over her waist preventing her from making a single movement. She squirmed against the too familiar chest and the owner pulled her closer. Lily tried to turn and ended up with her face pressed against Potter's warm chest. Her skirt and shirt were wrinkled and bunched up against her skin unpleasantly. Lily tried to pry Potter's arm off of her and he moved in his sleep.

She groaned as Potter's body shifted so she was tucked securely into his chest. Lily could feel the knot of his pants pressed against her thighs. She pulled her arms out of Potter's tight hold and shook his shoulder. Lily blushed as he sighed into the mess that was her hair and pulled her even closer if that was possible.

She didn't know what time it was but Lily was fully aware that Potter had stunned her. She wasn't happy. It was just then that Lily noticed that there wasn't a single ray of moonlight coming through a window. Were there windows in the Slytherin dorms?

She looked back at Potter and saw the peaceful expression on his face. His eyes were shut and his lips weren't drawn into a smirk. He almost looked innocent. But his brows were pulled into a tight contortion and Lily could see a set of bags under his eyes. The bags came with the Hogwarts uniform really though. She didn't want to interrupt his sleep but Lily was mad.

She pulled her hand up and put her fingers over his nose to cut off his breathing. After a second his eyes flew open and his body moved in a swift tug to shove Lily against the mattress of the bed. He groped the nightstand of the bed for a pair of glasses as he forced Lily under him. Lily scowled as his hand tugged her arms over her head. Potter looked down at her with a frown when he got his glasses on.

" Evans there are better ways to kill someone than cutting their breathing off," Potter reprehended. Lily winced as his body weight prevented her from breathing. But he didn't make a single move to compromise their position.

" I wasn't trying to kill you! But I should be. Potter you can't stun me and drag me for a bloody night in your bed every time you see fit," Lily scolded. Potter's lips tugged into a smile and he leaned down. Lily had to crane her neck up to even make eye contact with him. But her neck let out a flash of pain as protest so she settled for staring at Potter's collarbone. Lily wrinkled her nose when his legs separated hers.

" If I brought you to my bed every time I wanted to then you'd be sleeping in my bed every night," Potter drawled. Lily scowled at his chest and tried to pull her arms from his tight grip. She really needed to start weight training. Lily couldn't bare the thought of spending nights with Potter and being trapped in his arms.

" You are a pig," Lily snarled. Potter moved against her and lowered himself so that he was level with her. Lily wondered if his legs were hanging off the bed.

" Lily I think that you need to know that if you keep kneeing me down there then we won't be able to have any children," Potter declared in a low voice. Lily huffed and her eyes flashed with anger.

" I told you that we won't be having any sex at all," Lily answered. Potter suddenly tugged her shirt over her head. Lily groaned when she heard the buttons rip open; why did he insist on ripping all of her shirts? Lily flushed and pushed him away when his eyes landed on her breasts. Damn Marlene and Selena for making her buy lace bras! Lily gasped as his mouth traced patterns against the soft point of her jugular. She unconsciously arched into his touch when his callused hands brushed the fabric of her black lace bra. Why did she immediately turn into a whore whenever Potter touched her?

" James," Lily gasped as his mouth lowered to the arch of her left breast. His hand still pinned her arms back and his legs did the same with hers. But Lily didn't notice those things. Suddenly her anger and annoyance seemed to vanish. She felt a spark of pure lust fill her. It raced into her heart and pounded into her veins.

Potter's teeth tugged on the fabric of her bra and Lily couldn't keep her mouth from letting a moan out as his fingers massaged the skin of her right breast. Sparks and fire seemed to dance from the mere touch of his fingers. She didn't know why this kept happening to her. Something was wrong; no one, not even James Potter, should be able to send her in a lust-crazed state from his mere touch.

" Potter stop," Lily choked. But her voice cracked when his teeth moved up to bite the skin of her neck harshly. Suddenly his mouth and hand leaped from her chest to her face. He cupped her chin and the back of her head with something close to smugness. Lily shivered from the dilated state of his eyes. His fingers pulled her hair from her face as he looked down at her.

" Lily I'm not going to do anything without your permission but I think that we both know you won't be able to hold out against me for much longer," Potter murmured into her ear. She ducked her face and he let go of her arms.

" Potter I'm not one of your stupid whores. I won't give in because you know how to kiss," Lily answered with a fierce tone. She didn't expect Potter to let out a low laugh and press a kiss to her forehead. She was tucked into his arms and he leaned against the pillows again.

" That's why I like you; you've got fire Lily. I'll wake you before class tomorrow. Now sleep," Potter ordered. Lily wanted to jump from his arms and run as fast as she could from that room. But his voice and his touch seemed to ooze comfort.

" I'm only staying since you've got a warmer bed then I do," Lily said in a stubborn voice.

" Keep telling yourself that Lils. Now sleep. We've got to work on getting rid of those bags under you eyes," Potter answered. His voice sounded almost musical and lulled Lily to sleep. Her eyes fluttered shut and she curled up inside of Potter's embrace. Lily forgot about the fact that she didn't have a shirt on as sleep engulfed her.

* * *

_A soft sunlight hit Lily's face. She blinked and looked at her surroundings with curiosity. She stood in a garden during winter. Snow draped the few evergreen plants left from the frost. Lily leaned forward and tapped a few of the petals. She smiled when the plants bloomed and their fragrance hit her nose. She didn't recognize the garden so Lily turned and saw a large manor behind it. She could heart footsteps coming towards her as she tugged on a loose lock of her hair. It seemed longer and slightly curlier. Lily frowned when she saw that her stomach was slightly larger; when did she gain any weight?_

_She looked down and saw that she was wearing a loose shirt and a pair of jeans. The jeans were tucked into a pair of boots and a winter breeze brushed her skin. Goosebumps formed on her skin. Lily wondered why she hadn't brought a cloak or coat. But her mind and body seemed too eager to be outside._

_A body pressed against her back and she automatically slumped into the owner's warm chest. She could feel a frown against the back of her head as she nimbly guided her fingers over the flowers still blooming._

" _Lily care to explain why you're outside?" a voice asked from behind her. Lily turned and frowned when she seemed to lose control of her body. Her lips pulled into a sheepish grin and her arms pulled against her stomach in a protective way. She met a pair of hazel eyes hidden behind square glasses. An older image of James Potter stood in front of her. He was more muscular but that was hidden under a sweater and a pair of jeans. His eyes still had their unique sparkle and his hair was just as unruly as it had been when Lily fell asleep._

_Her body blushed slightly and she bit her lip. Lily's left hand brushed some hair from her face as she looked into Potter's eyes. She wondered why there were two rings sitting on her hands._

" _I'm not a child James. I've stayed inside for the past three days. You can't keep swaddling me in blankets and forcing me to live in our bedroom," Lily explained. Her voice was slightly different. It sounded musical and almost teasing as she spoke to Potter._

_Potter reached for his sweater and pulled it from his shoulders. He moved to Lily and forced the material over her head. Lily wrinkled her nose as she shoved her arms through the too large arms. Potter only wore a button down shirt and an amused grin._

_" You look endearing Mrs. Potter," Potter said in a low voice. Lily looked down and saw that Potter's sweater landed in the middle of her thighs. She looked like a child wearing her parents' clothing. The horrid red color of Potter's sweater clashed with her golden red hair._

_" James I'm pregnant. That doesn't mean I'm an invalid," Lily complained. Potter smiled and pulled her to his chest. She looked up and he tucked a loose strand of her behind her ear. She felt his hand slip under his sweater and her shirt. It rested on her stomach. He leaned down and pressed his cheek against her stomach. His hands rested on her hips as he smiled up at her._

_" Mummy is too adventurous for both of you. She's got a wild streak in her hopefully you'll get my peaceful genes," Potter said to her stomach. Lily reached down and swatted his head as he stood. His hand still rested against her stomach as he looked down at her with a cheeky grin._

_" James you're so much worse than I am. Which one of us got over fifty detentions in just his fifth year?" Lily questioned. James chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. But instead of annoyance, Lily felt affection at this movement._

_" Good point. Between my flair for mischief and your attraction for danger our son is doomed," James declared. Lily turned her head and raised an eyebrow._

_" Son?" she asked. It was still too early for them to know if their child was a boy or a girl. Lily wanted it to be a surprise though and James was fine with that._

_" Right. I've got a feeling about this one being a boy. He'll be the monster to teach his little brothers and sisters mischief," James explained. Lily's tired lips pulled into a smile._

_" Brothers and sisters? James I'm not my mum. We're not going to have a Quidditch team of children," Lily replied._

_" Fine but I want a daughter," James settled. His fingers skipped over her stomach and moved to tap a familiar tune against her hip._

_" No we'd have a horrid daughter. She'd be absolutely spoiled by Jason and Sirius," Lily answered. James smiled and leaned his head towards hers._

_" She'd be just like her mummy. I can see a little girl with your hair and my eyes. Maybe those Gastor genes will finally make an appearance and she'll look a tad like Jason," James mused._

_" Our poor child! Between your family and mine that child will have the worst hair in the world," Lily frowned._

_" My hair is beautiful. Our son would be blessed to have hair like this," James declared. Lily reached up and ran her fingers through his incredibly soft hair._

_"I guess it's pretty good hair Mr. Potter," Lily said in a satisfied voice. She saw a flash of gold in James's hair; it was her ring._

_" Lily," James murmured. She looked up and smiled at his expression._

_" James," Lily answered. He smiled at her and looked down at her with pure love and utter adoration._

_" I love you," James whispered into her ear. Lily's heart clenched in agreement and her lips tugged into a smile as the dream faded away._

* * *

Lily's eyes opened in a clear movement and she met a pair of thoroughly amused hazel ones. Potter looked down at her with something close to glee.

" You talk in your sleep," Potter declared. Lily's peaceful face drained when she remembered that too clear dream. Why did her grandmum have to have seer blood in her family?

" Really? I didn't know that," Lily managed to say. She felt Potter pulled her closer to him and his bare chest hit hers. She sucked a breath in when her bra skimmed the surface of Potter's hard chest.

" You said my name a lot," Potter admitted with a smirk. Lily blushed and bit her lip.

" Did I say anything else?" She demanded. Lily didn't really want Potter to know that she had a dream about her being pregnant with his child. She felt a memory brush her mind but it didn't come. Was this the first time it happened? Lily remembered Potter telling her that she was horrid at memory charms. Did she try to obliviate something from her mind?

" You did say one more thing actually. You muttered something about our child's hair. I think it was along the lines of our poor child having the worst hair in the world," Potter said. Pure embarrassment filled Lily. She looked up and caught the chuckle coming from Potter's mouth. Lily scowled at him and he looked down at her with something close to affection.

" You shouldn't scowl Lily. We wouldn't want our child to have a mum with premature wrinkles," Potter teased. Lily pulled her arm up to hit his shoulder but his stare caught her suddenly. His eyes were fastened to the edge of her hips and he forced Lily to turn over. She frowned when his fingers dragged over her back; why did it hurt so much?

" Why didn't Pomfrey heal your back?" Potter asked. Lily felt him push her hair over her shoulder so it was draped over her chest and the top of her stomach. She gasped when his fingers touched a tender part of her back.

" She already healed my back," Lily said in a low voice. Potter turned her over and she was pushed to his chest. Lily looked up and saw the horror and pain in his eyes.

" Potter what happened? They're just bruises, they'll heal in a few days," Lily assured. His eye flickered to her face. Lily frowned as he let go of her and stood. She sat up and watched him slide from his bed curtains. She could see her shirt sitting in the lower corner of the bed. Her fingers grabbed it and tugged it over her form. But as she pulled the first buttons on a hand tugged the shirt off.

" I have class in the morning Potter. I can't sleep in your bed for more time. Your roommates are going to notice me," Lily whispered. She turned and saw that Potter had his wand in one hand. He was wearing a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. Potter smelled like morning dew.

" Lily it's five in the morning. They won't wake up until six. Now turn around I've got to heal your back," Potter replied. But there wasn't a smug tone to his voice. It was dry and empty of emotion. Lily frowned but turned so her back was facing Potter. She felt his fingers brush locks of her hair from her back as he kneeled behind her. His voice pulled over letters as he murmured healing spells. Lily clenched her finger tightly around the duvet when a spell hit her back. It stung a bit but wore off in seconds. Potter noticed her discomfort and squeezed her shoulder as he continued to exam the rest of her back.

" Done. I can take you to the Great Hall now. I've got my run to do," Potter suddenly said. Lily noted his bland voice and nodded. She grabbed her ripped shirt and tugged the sleeves over her arms as she slid into it. After buttoning the buttons that weren't ripped, she turned and moved off of Potter's bed. She tripped on an object stationed on the ground. Her body tumbled forward but Potter pulled her up. He let go of her and grabbed her bag from the edge of his nightstand. Lily slid her shoes on and grabbed her bag. Potter pulled her under his Invisibility Cloak. But this time he didn't come under it. His hand reached under the cloak and grabbed the strap of Lily's bag to tug her forward. She tripped after him and the pair walked out of the dorm.

She wanted to say something but words didn't come. Why was Potter acting differently? Lily wanted him to act this way ever since she first saw him. But he kept kissing her and staring at her with a fire in his eyes. Now his eyes were blank as they walked up the stairs towards the Great Hall. He whipped his cloak off her and turned to jog out of the castle.

" Potter what happened?" Lily asked. Her voice echoed slightly and Potter didn't make a move to turn. She sighed and ran up to him. Lily grabbed his arm and tugged on it. He turned and looked at her with someone close to pain in his eyes.

" James did I do something?" Lily asked in a hurt voice. She looked down and Potter grabbed her chin. Lily met his eyes and saw an eternal pain in his gold and green irises.

" You're so caring that you push the blame onto yourself all the bloody time. I hurt you Lily. Those bruises on your back were from the broom closet I shoved you into yesterday. I did that to you," Potter hissed. His face contorted with pain and Lily stared at him in confusion. Did he really care for her?

He sighed and tugged on the locks of his hair. Lily moved to touch him but he lashed out at her. Lily stumbled back and stared at him with shock.

" James I bruise easily. It's nothing to worry about," Lily tried to assure. He scoffed and looked at her with bleary eyes.

" I promised myself that I would never hurt you again Lily. I can't be around you now. Just leave," Potter ordered. His voice twisted around his words and formed a gun. A bullet shot from it and hit Lily in the heart. She nodded and moved towards him.

" James stop making yourself promises that you know you're going to break," Lily finished. She squeezed his shoulder before turning and leaving. With each step she took, her heart shuddered and clenched with pain. What Lily didn't know was that James was in even more pain. He couldn't stand the sight of her injuries and the sight of one that he inflicted on her was so much worse.

They didn't understand how to love each other. Each time they tried to step closer to each other was actually a step back. Every time one of them pulled back they were actually moving closer to each other.

Lily was scared of James Potter. Deep down she knew that she could love him but she didn't want to. James Potter was a monster and filled with evil; she couldn't let him take her heart. He would surely throw it to the ground and let it shatter. Lily didn't know if she could heal from that blow.

James thought that Lily was too fragile. She was a crystal heart sitting on the edge of a table; at any moment she would fall over and break. James wanted to run to her and pull her into his arms. But he didn't want to see the day that he fell and Lily shattered in his arms.

A war was crippling their love and darkened innocent hearts. It would take time for Lily and James to be fearless. It would take heartbreak and many deaths before Lily could ever say I love you. It was going to take James Potter realizing that he could never love Lily for her to say that. In order for Lily to love James, he would have to push his love for her away. For James to love Lily, she would have to run from her love. So how exactly were they supposed to survive the next two years of their lives? A little secret; they wouldn't have survived all of their heartbreak and tears if it wasn't for the First Wizarding War. But that's a story for another day.

* * *

Lily stood over the Pensieve and watched the memory fall into the bowl. She could see the silver swirls of the memory in it fall into wisps. Lily bit her lip and tugged on her bracelet. Her dorm mates were currently out of the castle for a funeral. But Michael left Lily a list of things to go over for the upcoming game against Slytherin. Lily bitterly noted that there was a large margin between Gryffindor and Slytherin for first and second place.

Slytherin wasn't expecting the Gryffindor line up. They believed that Michael was playing as Keeper but Adam was still playing as Keeper. Lily felt horrible for doing this to her friend but technically it would be unmoral to kick Trevor off the team and let Michael back on. Michael took his removal from the Quidditch team with grace; he spent his days practicing dueling techniques with Alice. The next day the Order was having a goodbye party for Bishop and the other members leaving the country. Lily didn't understand why England was sending so much Hit Wizards and Aurors to other countries until the dark truth came clear to her. Moody and Dumbledore thought they didn't stand a chance for winning the war. They believed that other countries stood a better chance.

Death Eater massacres were daily events. Black Ministry owls came everyday to Hogwarts. Emmeline's parents were killed in an attack in the Ministry. It was then that Lily found out about Rick Vance. She never knew that Emmeline had an older brother until Marlene brought it up in front of her and Michael. Apparently he was Emmeline's half brother from her dad's first marriage. Rick was seven years older than Emmeline and worked as an Unspeakable in the American Ministry. Michael informed Lily that Rick Vance and Emmeline were on terse terms. Apparently at a wedding two years ago an argument between the two siblings ended with the Vances and the Macnair family being not too keen on each other.

Since the Vances were a pureblood family, all of Lily's friends were attending the funeral on the evening of Friday. She had the entire dorm to herself to look at the next memory Dumbledore had left her. Her fingers flew to a smaller vial. Lily wondered if the memory would be shorter. She hoped it would be long though. Her days seemed to stretch out before her eyes ever since her night in Potter's bed. He ignored her and Jason was caught up with writing to Pericles and Cassius.

On Thursday Lily received news of Natasha Goyle's death from Jason. There wasn't a funeral since her entire body had disappeared. But there was a memorial for her that morning. The memorial and funeral were enough to keep the purebloods of the castle out of Lily's way.

She never noticed that over the course of her year at Hogwarts, class sizes decreased due to loss of half-blood and muggleborn students. But when the purebloods were missing from classes on Friday, Lily was able to see the clear margin. She and a handful of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were the only students in her Charms class that day.

Lily wondered if Cassius was going to come back to Hogwarts. It was unlikely but Lily still had doubts in her head. Cassius would probably run again. She should've gone to the memorial though. Lily didn't know Natasha personally but all of her brothers were going to be there. She wanted to talk to Pericles about the werewolf situation in Greece. Lily only hoped that Professor Gladstone was raiding their family supplies to go on a hunting trip.

Lily wondered if it was time for her to offer her magic to the Order. If she was able to learn how to harness its power then the war could shift in favor of the muggleborn activists. But it was too risky. She would end up accidently killing someone or losing control again.

A sigh escaped her red lips as Lily rubbed her tired eyes. She needed this escape more than anything right now. Galen was busy with schoolwork and auror missions so he hardly spoke to Lily. Michael was the only sixth year cleared for weekday missions with the Order. Lily feared the following week; all of her friends, excluding herself and Marlene, were cleared for weekdays missions.

She spoke with Marlene before she left for the memorial that morning. Lily was hurt to hear that Marlene agreed to be obliviated before Black turned seventeen. She could see the signs of pain and horror etched on her friend's face as the last twenty days of her freedom inched forward. Lily selfishly feared that this would be herself when Potter turned seventeen. She wanted to see what it was like to be under the compulsion charms before she allowed her friends to wipe her memories.

She knew that she had to tell the seventh year Gryffindors the truth about who she really was soon. She couldn't keep lying to Emmeline and Adam's trusting faces. She only hoped that they would be more accepting of her secret than Michael had.

After a week of listening to Michael apologizing about the incident in their Potions class, Lily wanted to shoot him with a silencing charm. It wasn't his fault that someone wanted Lily dead. She greeted him with a hug the morning after the Potions incident, to the surprise of the Great Hall. Lily made sure to avert looking towards Jason and Potter when she hugged Michael.

She blinked sharply and leaned forward. Lily wasn't in the state of mind to think about Potter's disinterest and her friends' tragedies. The familiar feeling of flying engulfed her as she plunged into the memory. Her feet landed on solid ground and Lily frowned when she saw that she was in the Heads Dorm. Did she choose one of the vial she already saw?

Her suspicions fled when a girl entered the room. Lily looked at the girl in shock. She had a mane of fiery red hair that was twisted in curls. But her grace forced the chaotic curls into elegant and sophisticated ones. The girl had a tall and reedy build. A layer of womanly form sat on the girl's hips and chest. Her eyes were an almond shape with clear golden eyes. Lily spotted a single birthmark on the girl's leg, which gave away who this girl was. In front of Lily stood her dead aunt, Marie Gastor.

Seeing this girl led Lily to notice that she hadn't just stolen her traits from her mum. Lily had the girl's almond eyes and the sharp curve of the girl's collarbones. The girl walked in a graceful dance, which Lily recognized Julius to have. Her eyes were a shade lighter than the standard Gastor gold. Pericles had eyes like that. Lily moved closer to the girl but jumped in shock when a boy entered the room after the girl. It was Charlus Potter. Lily could see a flash of adoration in the man's eyes as he looked at the girl standing in the middle of the common room.

" Mar we've got patrol," Charlus said in a low voice. The girl pouted and Lily saw the mischievous gleam that sat in Jason's eyes in the girl's.

" But Charles I'm in no shape to patrol. I've got that History of Magic test tomorrow and I just came from tutoring a group of third years," Marie exclaimed. Lily decided that this girl wasn't similar to herself. Lily would never be as pouty and mischievous as Marie Gastor.

" Mar I wonder how you manage to be a prefect. Dorea is patrolling with Prince so we've got to patrol too," Charlus argued. He moved closer to Marie and grabbed her wrist. His fingers tugged on a bracelet that was all too similar to Lily. She looked down to her own wrist and found the same bracelet on her arm. Both bracelets even had identical matching full hearts. Lily wondered what Marie did to get the heart to complete itself.

" Rea and Elijah Pince would make a cute couple," Marie mused. Charlus chuckled into her hair before planting a kiss on her jaw. Lily wanted to look away to give the couple some privacy, but his next sentence made her freeze.

" Stop being such a cupid Mar. I swear ever since your charm completed you've been like this," Charlus teased. Lily knew what he was talking about and latched onto Marie Gastor's next sentence.

" Well it only took me so much time to realize that I was in love with you. For what, six years I could barely tolerate your face," Marie teased. Lily sucked in a breath at the girl's words. She had to be in love for the charm to complete itself. But Lily didn't love anyone that was ridiculous. Michael and Galen were friends and Potter was Potter. Her magic must have interfered with the bracelet and made the heart complete itself.

" Right and I plan on enjoying the rest of my life teasing you about that," Charlus answered. Lily didn't listen to the rest of their words. She could feel herself being drawn from the memory but she didn't feel anything. Thirty minutes later Lily sat on her bed with her hair still wet from her shower and the Pensieve packed away.

She frowned at the bracelet on her wrist. Lily could remember a time in her life when she tried to cut the bracelet from her wrist. It didn't work. It was trapped on her wrist for the rest of her life. But it had a haunting past. Lily shivered when she remembered how Charlus Potter's fingers tugged on the charms. She didn't need to know who'd worn it before her.

Marie Gastor wasn't like her. Lily didn't have the girl's calm and collected behavior. She was almost disgusted by the girl's coyness and shallow attitude. But Lily saw the clear love in the girl's eyes as she stared at Charlus Potter. She had seen the damage Marie Gastor's death had done to Charlus Potter with her own eyes.

Lily wondered if Marie Gastor would've made a good aunt. If Marie hadn't died then Lily wouldn't be trapped in an inevitable marriage to James Potter. She would be cousins with the tosser. A growl of jealousy entered her and Lily frowned. Why did she care that she could've been destined to not be with Potter?

Lily shook her head and leaned down. She hadn't gotten sleep as good as she had in Potter's bed. For the past few nights her dreams were filled with horrible flashes of colors and shrieks as muggles ran for cover. But she woke before she could do anything. Those were her worst dreams. Lily fell asleep quickly with distant thoughts.

She woke to a crashing noise and grabbed her wand from under her pillow. Lily sat up and slid from under her covers.

" Lumos," Lily shouted as she exited her bed. She blinked at the light coming from her wand as she met the face of Marlene McKinnon. Lily frowned when she saw the tear stains on Marlene's cheeks and the red tinge to her eyes.

" Marlee what happened?" Lily demanded. Her friend sobbed openly and Lily saw that Emmeline hadn't entered their dorm. She must be in Adam's, Lily thought.

" We broke up. Black and Fabian got in a muggle duel during Emmeline's parents' funeral and they had to be pulled apart," Marlene managed to say in between her tears. Lily quickly put her wand on her nightstand and led Marlene over to her bed. She sat on Marlene's covers and pulled her friend in for a tight hug. Marlene cried against the material of Lily's worn t-shirt.

" It's all my fault Lily. Emmeline is mad at me for ruining her parents' funeral. Alice and Gideon are upset that I've pulled Fabian along for so much time. Michael and Frank can't even look at me. Adam told me that I'm disgusting," Marlene cried. Lily frowned and brushed the hair from Marlene's brow.

" What did you do Marlee?" she asked. Marlene leaned up from Lily's shoulder and took the tissue Lily handed to her. She blew her nose and wiped the tears from her face. Lily noticed that Marlene managed to look pretty while crying.

" You're going to hate me Lily. You're so brave and feminist that what I did will probably disgust you," Marlene sniffled. Lily cleared her throat and tucked a lock of Marlene's hair behind her ear.

" Marlene McKinnon you're my best friend. I could never hate you no matter what you do. You tolerated all of my lies and my shit so it's my turn to pay you the same gesture," Lily answered. Marlene smiled weakly and cleared her throat.

" I've only told two people how I lost my virginity. You're going to be the third person I'm going to tell. During this Coming of Age ball back in fifth year before you moved here from France, I was the only Gryffindor there. Black was also there so he and I spent some time together. He was so sweet Lily. I thought he was changing. He brought me drinks and even complimented me. You know how some poisons taste sweet? Well that's exactly what Sirius is. The last thing I remember from that night was the way Sirius looked at me with something close to love. I woke up the next morning with no traces of what happened and in his bed. We were naked and there was a bloodstain on his bed. He told me that he drugged me Lily," Marlene explained. Her voice cracked towards the end of her story and Lily wanted to find Black and castrate him.

" No let me finish," Marlene ordered when she saw the look in Lily's eyes. Lily nodded reluctantly. Black was an even bigger bastard than Lily had thought. She couldn't believe that he would do something that disgusting and low.

" I left him and went home. I cried all weekend into Adam's arms. When I came back to school Sirius was watching me so I made sure to make it seem as though I'd forgotten about the entire thing. He didn't speak to me much except to flirt. Fabian Prewitt started to show an interest in me and we kissed a few times over Christmas break. You were there to see Fabian starting to date me. I never told him about what happened between Sirius and me. We had sex for the first time during the summer after a bad Order meeting. He knew I wasn't a virgin but never said anything. The thing is that I always held onto this stupid idea that Sirius lied to me and that I was still a virgin. I ended up leaving Fabian after we had sex and things became awkward between us after that. A week after Benjy died, we got into this huge fight when he tried to make a move on me. I ended up telling him what happened between Sirius and me. Fabian wanted to kill him Lily. I swear there was this horrible glint in his eyes. We ended up shagging again that night when he calmed down. Things changed between us for the better. But then in September right after the game against Slytherin we got into another fight. We've been fighting since then Lily. Sirius knew what was happening and I don't know how it happened but he ended up comforting me in an empty classroom. I kissed him Lily and he tried to pull away but we ended up having sex. For the past month I cheated on Fabian with Sirius and I don't know why Lily. Today during the funeral I was standing with Fabian and Sirius walked past us. He said something stupid and Fabian picked a fight with him. Fabian used to be close to the Vances since Rick used to baby-sit him and Gideon. Mr. and Mrs. Vance's deaths were too much for him and everything ended up coming out. Sirius told him about how he had been sleeping with me for the past month and Fabian lost it. Potter and Adam ended up pulling them apart. After the funeral, I spoke with Fabian right before we apparated to Hogsmeade. He asked me if I still loved him and I couldn't say it. I broke his heart Lily. I cheated on the best boyfriend a girl could ask for with the person who raped me," Marlene sobbed at the end.

Lily didn't feel an ounce of disgust; she just felt so much empathy and sympathy for Marlene. Marlene was going through too much regarding her advancing betrothal. Fabian should have broken up with her months ago instead of forcing Marlene to strain herself between her own troubles and their relationship. Lily knew in her heart that if Marlene and Sirius weren't betrothed then Fabian would've stood a chance in Marlene's heart. But that wasn't the case.

She leaned forward and pulled Marlene's sobbing form into a tight hug. She sighed in her friend's shoulder and rubbed her back reassuringly.

" Marlene I'm not going to judge you. I'm going to stand by you. I just don't think that you and Fabian should've dated to start with," Lily commented. Marlene leaned up and met Lily's eyes with a sharp stare.

" It was doomed from the first kiss Lily. We both knew that our relationship wouldn't last after Sirius turned seventeen. But the thing is that sometimes things like that are worth the pain," Marlene answered.

" Was it worth it?" Lily asked. She knew whom she was thinking of at that moment. A head of tawny hair flashed in her eyes. Michael Wood would always be that relationship that haunted her. She didn't feel a single spark for him but Lily knew in her heart that if Marie Gastor had lived, then there was a strong chance that she would've ended up with Michael.

" It was. It really was Lily. Being with Fabian was worth it. All of the heartbreak and tears were worth the love I feel for him. It's amazing to love someone Lily. I'll never get a chance like that again," Marlene answered. With those words Lily knew that her friend was right. It was too bad that Lily hadn't found anyone worth the heartbreak. Even Michael with his passion and his fire wasn't worth the inevitable pain.

Galen's friendship though was worth the pain. Michael's friendship was worth the tears that would come with it. It was time for Lily to stand up against Potter. It was time that she stopped letting him control her. Lily didn't belong to him and yet she let him control her every movement. Things were about to change for the better.

* * *

After a weekend of staying with Marlene and eating pound blocks of chocolate, Lily was ready to face Potter. On Saturday morning Lily saw her friends' true feelings for Marlene. She came down to the Great Hall to get Marlene some breakfast when Michael confronted her about which side she was on. Lily could see Fabian sitting with the rest of their friends in the middle of the Gryffindor table. Gossip spread rapidly, so most people were shooting Fabian sympathetic looks. Black didn't even show up to meals. Lily made eye contact with Lupin and frowned when she noticed that he was doing the same thing she was; getting food for more than one person.

Emmeline didn't come up to their dorm very often. She came to the dorm early in Saturday morning and confronted Lily about Marlene. Lily stood by Marlene loyally but she knew that she was going to lose her other friends. She wondered if it was time to tell them the truth about who she really was. But Lily was scared. She couldn't face Emmeline or Frank after she told them the truth; she didn't want to see the hurt in their eyes.

She was planning to tell them during the Christmas Holidays. Michael and her were planning to spend the Holidays at her house in London. She knew what it was like to be alone and wanted Michael to be with her during the break. That was what made Lily decline Galen's invitation to go to Greece with him. She wanted to see how Mr. Kingsmill and Selena were doing. Lily even knew that she could probably do some werewolf hunting if she went there, but she had responsibilities in England.

If Potter won their bet then Lily would spend Christmas Break with him. But Slytherin had no idea what to be ready for. Gryffindor had the upper hand in the game since their players could switch positions easily. But the idea of not speaking to Potter for three months didn't give Lily the same joy it used to. Now the idea sat inside of her and made her feel squeamish.

Lily spent Saturday and Sunday comforting Marlene. She was worried about the Transfiguration test she had taken on Thursday. If Lily didn't do well on it then she would have to consider getting tutored or dropping a class. She really didn't want to resort to either of those.

Lily looked at her reflection with a critical eye. Her hair was still annoyingly straight and the color of dried blood. Her eyes lost some of the bags under them and looked almost healthy. Lily's skin wasn't so pale; it was back to its creamy color. Her body gained some necessary weight and overall Lily looked healthy. But why did she feel so empty?

She knew it had something to do with the war. Going to the Order meeting on Saturday with Marlene led to some tenseness. She said goodbye to Bishop and the other Order members being sent around the world. Lily was surprised to hear that most of the seventh years from the previous year were leaving the country to join a group of travelling aurors. She was interested in the idea but Lily still had two years of school. Her goodbye with Bishop was a dry-eyed event. He told her that he expected to hear in two years that she had been accepted to the auror department. Lily hoped that she would be on the front lines of the war soon. She was too young to go on Order raids so she was stuck going on menial missions.

Lily finally apologized to Alex Moody. She was delighted to hear that the man had accepted Galen's invitation to join the Order. It was nice to talk to someone who knew about her legacy. Lily's family in Greece was well known for their involvement with getting rid of the large werewolf population in Greece. Yet Lily wasn't particularly interested in sharing hunting techniques with the eccentric French auror. After saying goodbye to the departing Order members, Lily went on a mission with a man named Mundungus Fletcher and Alastor Moody. Their mission went well and they managed to get some death eater plans from two wizards in Knockturn Alley. But it came at a cost. Lily saw Jason and Lupin in one of the shops. She didn't even want to know how they had gotten out of the castle. But she did know that they were doing death eater work.

She and Alice were the last of their friends to return to the Common Room. Lily was shocked to hear that Gideon and Michael managed to stun Rabastan Lestrange in the middle of a large raid. But it was in vain for Lestrange was released from the Ministry prisons the next day.

She spent Sunday with Marlene reviewing defense spells. Lily took another shot at the Patronus Charm and managed to get a small circle of light from her wand. Even though Marlene had cheered for her she felt disgusted with the light. The memory Lily used to bring that light was a tainted one. She was thinking about the dream she had in Potter's dorm. That brought a rosy blush to her cheeks and she stopped practicing the spell.

" Lily we've got class," Marlene called from their dorm. Lily blinked and realized that she was lost in her own world again. She quickly finished pulling her hair into a braid and left the restroom. After grabbing their bags, Lily and Marlene headed down for the Green Houses. Lily shivered and scowled at herself for not placing a heat charm on her cloak.

She wasn't quite fond of late fall but it did have good breezes for Quidditch matches. Sadly the next match was the upcoming Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff in a week. Lily followed Marlene through the path and entered the warm Green House with a sigh of relief. Her cheeks were stained a rusty red as she slid into her seat in the front row. Marlene sat with Amos Diggory in the back of the room. Students entered the room and openly gawked at her friend. Lily shot Marlene a look of sympathy as the bell rang.

The Marauders managed to slip into the classroom right as the bell rang. Lily frowned at the bags under Jason's eyes as he sat next to her. She noticed that Potter's eyes just didn't seem to register her presence. Black was slumped slightly and had a black eye. Lily wondered if Fabian had done that. But Black didn't look too upset when he sat next to Potter and pulled out a small device. Lily met Lupin's eyes and he shot her a look of curiosity.

Professor Sprout started the lesson but Lily wasn't paying attention. They were taking notes on the medical properties of Mandrakes and Lily was sure that she still had her notes from Beauxabatons on the subject.

" How's Cassius doing?" Lily whispered to her brother. He looked up and repressed a yawn from coming from his mouth. His eyes flashed with hurt for a moment before he shrugged.

" He's decided to travel. His school is letting him transfer to the Runes and Glyph School in Egypt. He left yesterday right after the ceremony. Pericles said that he had work back in Athens and left today morning," Jason said in a dull voice. Lily leaned over and squeezed his hand under the table. She knew that Jason had been hoping that Cassius or Pericles would've stayed for more time.

" They've got their own lives Jace. Selena told me that she's in love with our brother dearest," Lily replied in a low voice. This allowed a small smile to crack on Jason's pained face.

" Imagine that. Mum always thought that Pericles would be a scholar and never marry. He took one of the Gastor Rings we have in the house when he left. He tried to make it look inconspicuous but Cassius caught him. He wants to propose to Kingsmill when she has her winter holidays," Jason answered. Lily smiled and ducked her head so that no one could see her smile.

" Selena used to tease me that since Galen and I used to fancy each other we'd become sisters. I never thought that Pericles would be the reason that Selena becomes a Gastor," Lily mused.

" He likes her. I've never met the girl but Pericles likes a girl. I think that Selena Kingsmill is a miracle," Jason stated with a tired expression. Lily nodded and a comfortable silence fell over the siblings. She frowned when she saw what Jason was looking at.

" Marlene told me about what happened between her and Black," Lily muttered. Jason made a slight noise of agreement before looking away from Black and Potter.

" She said some pretty harsh stuff to Sirius after they pried him off Prewitt," Jason revealed. Lily nodded and tapped her fingers against the wood of their desk. If Potter jumped her boyfriend then Lily would have most likely mauled him or something.

" He drugged her Jace. I think he deserves worse than just cruel words," Lily huffed. She glanced at her brother and he indicated for her to lean in. Lily leaned in and her head was only a few inches from his. She could see a silver scar locking around his jaw and the black specs in his gold eyes.

" There are two sides to that story Lily. McKinnon may have just wrongly interpreted what happened that night," Jason whispered. Lily scowled and wrapped her arms around her waist.

" What else could there be Jace? Black used a potion to drug Marlene into sleeping with him. There isn't much more to say in that story," Lily scoffed. Her brother frowned and pulled his hair out of his eyes.

" Who said that Marlene was the only one drugged in this story? Also did Sirius ever tell Marlene that he drugged her to start with," Jason said in an inquisitive voice. Lily frowned and felt her neck prickle sharply; someone was watching them. She looked over her shoulder and caught a flash of hazel and gold. Lily bit her lip as she stared into Potter's eyes. He looked at her with blank expression but she could see how hard he was fighting to keep his emotions a blank.

" You need to talk to him. He's been like this ever since you guys were called to the Headmaster. He was in our dorm for the entire afternoon with his bed curtains closed. The next day when he came back from his morning run, Remus said that he was almost in agony," Jason quipped.

Lily broke eye contact with Potter and looked over at her brother. He held a troubled gleam in his eyes. She sighed and slumped in her seat.

" He thinks that he hurt me. Honestly I'm just mad that he's treating me like glass. Before he used to try and break me but now it's different Jace. I don't think I can deal with James Potter if he's trying to do me a favor," Lily explained.

" I can't help you with your relationship stuff Flower. That's between you and James," Jason commented.

" We don't have a relationship Jace. He just hurts the people I love until I finally bend to whatever he wants. He's too cruel and destructive for me," Lily answered.

" Look James can be an arse but he's a good bloke," Jason justified. Lily snorted and the bell rang indicating the end of the period.

" He's a death eater Jace. Not only is he one of the top ones but he enjoys seeing people in pain," Lily finished harshly. She shoved her notebook and parchment into the hole of her bag before slinging it over her shoulder. Lily pulled on her braid and bit her lip as she faced Jason.

" I just don't want him to hurt me Jace. Is that wrong of me?" Lily said in a quiet voice. Her classmates were bustling out the door. A few turned and shot the pair a curious look. Her brother's features pulled into a sympathetic expression as he pushed his chair in.

" Lily he's so afraid of hurting you. I don't think I've seen him this concerned for someone in my entire life. Every time you come to class with bleary eyes or looking like hell it hurts him. He cares about you Flower," Jason said in a low voice. Before Lily could answer him someone shoved her roughly and she slammed into the edge of the desk harshly.

" Mudblood Evans? Really Jason your standards are getting lower," a voice sneered. Lily looked up and met the disgusted eyes of Cressida Zabini. Jason frowned from next to her and shoved the snarky Slytherin away to help Lily.

" You alright Flower?" Jason asked as he helped Lily straighten herself.

" You've got to stop caring for me in public Jace. It'll do us both some bad gossip," Lily sighed as she stepped towards the door. Cressida watched her and Jason with a conflicted expression.

" You're my sister I'm not going to let people bully you," Jason defended. Lily scoffed as she pulled the hairband from her hair.

" You encourage them to treat muggleborns poorly. Jace what do you think they're going to do to me?" Lily exclaimed as they exited the greenhouse.

" Four months Lily then people will understand why Prongs and I don't let them bully you," Jason replied. Lily flushed and grabbed her brother's shirt roughly.

" You're a git Jason! Stop prancing around acting as though we're family. It's getting both of us a lot of attention," Lily hissed. Her brother frowned and pulled her towards the back of a greenhouse.

" Lilibeth it's only because I love you," Jason snickered. Lily looked at him with exasperation. Her lips started to tug up into a begrudging smile as her brother let out a hoot of laughter.

" Eddie my feelings are just so mutual," Lily answered in a dry voice. Her brother shot her a threatening look and glanced at the abandoned area.

" Flower I think that Lilibeth beats Eddie," Jason replied as his laughter died out. Lily found it amazing that her brother could make anyone smile with just his laugh.

" Dad had no sense of names! There's a reason mum chose all of your names," Lily defended. Her dad once called her Lilibeth as a nickname. Lily supposed it was better than her mum's horrid usage of Lilium. She looked down at her watch and noticed that she barely had any time to get to History of Magic.

" Jace I've got class," Lily exclaimed. Her brother frowned and looked at his own watch. Lily could see the Gastor emblem on the wristband.

" You're in History of Magic with James right? I know a shortcut," Jason declared with a smile. He indicated for Lily to walk and she begrudgingly followed him up to the castle. He led her to a tapestry and lifted the large and dusty material. Lily gaped as the dark passage behind it became clear.

" How do you know all of the castle's secrets?" she demanded. Her brother's eyes sparkled as he led her down the passage.

" A Marauder never tells," he answered. A few minutes later, the pair ended at a dead-end. Jason tapped a corner of the wall and it slid open. Lily could see the door of the History of Magic classroom as she exited the passage.

" I'll see you later," Lily said as she moved towards her classroom. Her brother nodded as he watched the passage close up. Lily turned from him and entered her classroom right as the bell rang. She slid into the seat next to Potter without a word. He didn't even look at her. Lily frowned when she saw that he was studying the Marauder's Map.

Her fingers pulled parchment and a replenishing quill from her bag. Lily took notes in her meticulous handwriting for about twenty minutes before she got tired of dealing with Potter. Lily wondered why none of the girls in the front row were even looking at him. Maybe the Marauders knew a charm that prevented people from looking at them when they didn't want them to.

She repressed an annoyed groan as she turned to face the silent man. Her finger tapped his shoulder and he looked up with a frown. His eyes flashed with pain for a moment before he cleared his throat.

" Evans," Potter greeted in a low voice. She glared at him as she crossed her arms over her chest. Lily's hair fell around her shoulders in a mess of dark red locks.

" Stop acting as though I don't exist," Lily demanded in a low hiss. Potter's eyes twinkled for a moment before flashing back to the blank state. His hand reached up to run through his hair.

" Lily the world doesn't revolve around you," Potter scoffed. Lily let out a noise of annoyance as he turned to look at his Map again. She pulled it from his fingers and shoved it into his bag before he could even move. Potter frowned and tried to retrieve the map but Lily poked his stomach preventing him from doing so.

" Potter stop being so indifferent!" Lily exclaimed. He looked at her for a moment before pushing her hand away and pulling a snitch from his bag. Lily sighed as he played with the golden device and ignored her. She turned back to her notes and immersed herself in the Early Roman Empire.

Lily let out a low gasp of surprise when something flew into her hair. She bit her lip and turned to see Potters amused stare as a snitch furthered its search into Lily's hair. She wrinkled her nose at the mess it created.

" Potter could you control your bloody snitch," Lily huffed as she reached into her hair and pulled the gold creature from the knots. Her fingers ripped through her hair cruelly and hunted for the creature. Suddenly Potter shoved her fingers away and pulled her towards him so he could carefully untangle her hair and get the snitch out. His lips smirked against her ear as he ran his long fingers through her hair.

" Evans you've got no patience. I wonder how you haven't managed to rip all your hair out yet," Potter murmured against her ear. Lily didn't scowl or slump in his hold. But she did feel better now that cocky Potter was back.

" I've got plenty of patience; just not for boys who are up to no good," Lily replied. Potter's fingers stopped moving and he looked at her with an amused expression. Lily frowned at his smirk and crossed her arms over her chest.

" Nice choice of words," Potter answered. He turned back to Lily's hair and continued to gently pull the knots apart. A few minutes of feeling Potter's careful fingers run through her hair had Lily completely relaxed. She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them a golden object was in front of her.

She jumped and whipped her head towards Potter's smirking face. He dangled the struggling snitch in front of her eyes. Lily touched her hair and noticed that it was free of all knots. She tried to move back to her seat but Potter fastened his arms around her waist.

" I think I deserve a payment for my services," he murmured into her ear. Lily flushed and shoved his arms away as she slid down to bench to her own seat.

" Your snitch was the thing that ruined my hair. So really you were just amending your own mistake," Lily answered. But she couldn't keep the smile off her face as she leaned down and continued to write the set of notes; James Potter was back.

* * *

" Why do you read such horrible poetry?" a voice demanded from Lily's right. She looked over and saw that Remus Lupin was standing next to her. He took the free seat to her right and slung his bag on the desk in front of him.

" What's wrong with Keats?" Lily demanded. She rather liked the works of Keats. He wrote in a familiar way to how Potter spoke; it had a comforting feel to it. Lupin's lips tugged in an amused grin as he plucked the book from Lily's hands.

" If you don't know proper Greek Mythology then it seems interesting. But really all he does is reference figures from myths," Lupin replied.

" I always get a thrill to recognize those figures," Lily answered as she took the book from Lupin's hands and pushed it into her bag.

" The world really does have two types of people," Lupin quipped as he reached for a textbook on the table. They had a presentation on the Wolfsbane Potion the next day in Care of Magical Creatures. Lupin turned out to be a decent bloke to work with. He had the same drive that Lily had so they accomplished more work in less time than their peers.

" Do you ever wonder what the Wolfsbane potion would feel like?" Lily asked in the middle of their work. Lupin frowned and looked up from his parchment. Lily could see an ink stain on his lower cheek.

" I suppose that werewolves don't have much control when they transform. It must be a relief for them to have some control," Lupin answered. Lily nodded and bit her lip as she reached for a textbook near the side of the table.

She wasn't too fond of that particular day. Her friends were avoiding Marlene and since Lily stood by Marlene, they were partially avoiding her. Michael and Alice were the only ones who openly showed neutrality on the situation. The Gryffindors were split and most of the school could see it.

Lily didn't enjoy dealing with her friends' petty drama so she spent hours in the library or at the Quidditch Pitch. Marlene was still getting over Fabian but Lily knew that she would never really get over him.

The world around them was darker than ever. Adam and Gideon returned from a mission the previous day with news; Minister Bagnold was going to be impeached soon. They informed the Gryffindors that with one larger blow the purists would have enough material to get Bagnold sacked.

Lily knew that without Bishop and Dumbledore they were almost doomed. But she wasn't going to give in anytime soon. She just wished that Dumbledore would send news or come back. They needed his presence. Without his leadership, Moody and Andromeda had taken over the Order.

The Order was down to forty people, excluding Lily and people still in Hogwarts. The adults of it were breaking and they looked so tired. Lily knew that they were worried about the loss of members. She was worried about that too.

She had power to make a difference in the war, but Lily didn't know if she was strong enough to control it. Black knew about her secret so if he told Voldemort then Lily would be in trouble. She would rather die than let a greedy man like Voldemort have that kind of power.

" Did you hear about Natasha Goyle?" Lupin asked. Lily looked up and tried to keep her face at a blank.

" Yeah she was a prefect last year. She was one of the Slytherins who was nice to me," Lily answered. Lupin met her eyes with a frown.

" It's funny that you mention Slytherins who are nice to muggleborns. I was talking to Jason the other day and he told me that you two were both enrolled in the same muggle school during his youth. He never mentioned anything about a park though. In fact he said that you two never interacted outside of his house or the school you went to," Lupin declared in a low voice.

Lily paled slightly and her fingers clenched over her quill. She swallowed and met Lupin's proud eyes with a weak smile. He leaned towards her with a wicked expression before speaking.

" I think that both of you are lying. Something is off here. You've got all of my mates wrapped around your fingers. Let me tell you something; all three of them have extreme vendettas against muggles so why are they so friendly with Muggleborn Lily Evans?" Lupin asked. But his question seemed to be directed more to himself rather than Lily.

" I was speaking with Sirius when I saw a picture by Jason's bed. His parents were amazing you know. I think that it's too much of a coincidence that you look like a carbon copy of his mum and that when I used a revealing spell on you a little Gastor birthmark showed up right here," Lupin explained.

His fingers landed on Lily's collarbone and when he released them, a small star, which seemed to switch between gold and silver appeared. He leaned back and Lily brushed some hair in front of her collarbone before anybody else could see her birthmark. She looked up and met Lupin's smirk with a frown.

" I guess both of us are shite at keeping secrets. I think that it's too much of a coincidence that you're in the hospital wing the morning after a full moon every month and that you've got a little scar right here that looks suspiciously like a claw mark," Lily answered in a low voice. Her fingers grazed Lupin's arm and he frowned.

" Did my friends tell you?" he demanded. His face flushed for a moment as Lily surveyed her work.

" No I figured it out last year actually. Right before OWLs started I figured it out," Lily answered.

" You never said anything for the past six months. Why?" Lupin asked. Lily sighed and leaned forward.

" Because I know more than anyone what it's like to be controlled by something that you've got no decision about," Lily admitted. She was talking about her magic's control of her but Lupin didn't know that.

"What are you talking about?" Lupin asked. Lily froze and realized her mistake. She ducked her head and pulled a lock of her hair behind her ear.

" I'm betrothed to Potter. He's the ultimate control freak," Lily revealed.

" I thought that he just had an obsession with you. This makes more sense," Lupin replied. Lily frowned and indicated for him to go on.

" He stares at you all the time Evans. He freaks out when you talk to Wood or any male. I'd say that he's actually got feelings for you," Lupin answered. Lily grimace; was Potter's behavior around her really that easy to read?

" Although, I also had a theory that you and Jason were shagging…" Lupin mused. Lily gagged and hit his arm lightly.

" Ugh he's my brother Remus! I think I'm going to throw up," Lily exclaimed. Lupin raised his hands in a mocking surrender and flashed her a grin.

" Well half of the school is under the impression that Jason and you are a not-so-secret fling," Lupin replied.

" He's just really over protective Lupin. Jace is like the greatest brother. We used to be close when we were younger. But when he started Charms School he sort of ditched me for you lot. When my parents sent me to live with our grandparents in Greece it hit him pretty hard I guess," Lily answered.

" So why did you leave England for the past seven years?" Lupin asked. This led to a through conversation about Lily's biography. Really she should have a pamphlet for when people discovered who she really was. It would make the entire experience so much easier.

" So your best friend kidnapped you and Wood while you were on a date?" Lupin asked in an incredulous voice. Lily laughed at his shocked expression.

" He was a death eater and his mum's death sort of ruined his mental capabilities Remus," Lily explained. Once she had Lupin caught up on everything, Lily was in extreme need for a glass of water. She really needed to have a speech ready before she told people.

" That's why my friends have been so secretive! Really I'm offended that Sirius figured it out before I did," Remus declared once Lily had finished.

" I think that Black just connected the dots more easily. Don't worry Remus you're the smart one," Lily assured.

" You and Prongs are really mean for each other. Both of you seem to compete for who is more screwed up. Maybe you guys could have the shitty childhood contest," Lupin quipped.

" What do you mean?" Lily asked in a confused voice. Lupin shot her a shocked look before sitting with a straight back.

" James didn't grow up that well Lily. He was raised into being the perfect purist Evans. He killed a muggle for the first time when he was thirteen for Merlin's sake! You didn't know about that?" Lupin asked in a gentle voice. Lily tried to keep the hurt and pain from her face when she answered him.

" No. I thought that Potter was just an arse in general," Lily answered in a quiet voice. She didn't let Remus continue to divulge all of Potter's childhood secrets. Lily couldn't handle thinking about Potter being more than a bigoted git. She didn't want to see that he had depth to him. Lily knew that if Potter was good there was nothing keeping her from hating him.

" Potter has done too many bad things for him to be a good person Remus," Lily sighed. Remus pursed his lips and nodded as they started to pack up. He walked her to the Entrance of the Library with a frown.

" Look I understand if you never want to work with me again. I'll ask Professor Grubbly-Plank to switch partners," Remus said in a quiet voice. Lily never thought that she would see him in such a raw way. Guilt seemed to radiate from him; she never felt more empathy for him than she had at that moment.

" I can't accept that you kill people and turn them Remus," Lily said in a low voice. She knew that her ancestors would be disgusted with her. She was supposed to kill werewolves, not let them roam free for slaughter.

" I've never turned anyone Lily. I've never even killed anyone before," Remus said in a horrified voice.

" But you're a death eater," Lily argued. His eyes flashed as he pulled her to an alcove near the library.

" When someone become a death eater, they've got to choose one of the Unforgivable Curses and use it on someone. I used the Imperius Curse on a group of muggles. The Dark Lord was impressed that I could shape the curse into a widespread one. I'm not as good as Jason is at it but I'm decent," Remus explained. Lily slumped in relief when she heard that Remus hadn't killed or changed anyone. But her lips pulled into a frown when he said something about Jason.

" What about Jason?" Lily asked in a cold voice. The gears in her head were already shifting and she knew the answer before Remus even answered her. The shock didn't register until he answered her though.

" He got recruited with Sirius in their third year for a reason. James got the mark in second year, but he's one of the best duelers, probably the best one, in our generation. Jason used the Cruciatus curse on a muggle when he was fourteen. But something happened and the spell managed to multiply and hit two people at the same time. The Dark Lord was extremely impressed. Jason spent the last two years expanding his Cruciatus. He can hit a group of about twenty now," Remus started. He reached down and tugged on his shirt uncomfortably.

" Right before your parents died, Jason started experimenting with the killing curse. None of your brothers had his little knack but they were all leaders, fighters, or research machines. I remember that Julius always had the best strategies for a massacre and Lucian was amazing at using slicing hexes. Anyways, Jason spent the last year trying to multiply his killing curse. Right before Halloween, he managed to hit two people with one curse. That's the only reason no one's ever disputed the Gastors' role as one of the top families in the Dark Lord's inner circle," Remus revealed.

He looked at Lily but she barely registered it. Her heart seemed to simply crack with a lightning bolt of pain. She could feel her magic escaping but didn't care. Jason, her sweet brother, was trying to make a dark spell even darker. He wasn't the best friend of her childhood; he was a monster.

" I've got to go Remus. I need to speak with Marlene. She isn't doing so well with Black and Fabian's fight," Lily managed to say. She left before her body exploded with agony and ran from the room. She could feel Remus's eyes tracing her figure with sympathy as she ran.

Her legs carried her out to the Black Lake where she slumped to the ground with pain. Her magic seemed to be torturing her for not letting it out for such a long time. But it didn't get too far. Lily quickly slammed it back into its prison. It couldn't even fight her complete and utter pain. It slinked away and Lily blinked her tears away as she looked at the Black Lake.

Her brother was trying to create something horrible. If he ever got the power to increase the range of his killing curse then they had already lost the war. Lily knew what she had to do. There was only one way the Order could compete with the death eaters. She concentrated and held her hand out.

Lily molded her magic to bend to her will for only a moment. It screamed with protest and tried to hurt her. But she was stronger. Her pain and agony were giving her a twisted burn of strength. Lily gasped when the flicker of sharp flames emerged from her hand. She could see the fire embrace her skin and it didn't leap from her hand to set the entire world on fire.

She pushed against her magic and forced it to meet her demands. Suddenly the fire spread to her right hand and she smiled with determination at the two bursts of flames. It was time for her to fight; it was time for Lily to make a stand.

But as she banished the fire away, a crippling sense of pain emerged from her chest. Lily looked down and aw the veins in her hands writhe with power as she forced her magic back to its prison. Using that type of power came with a cost; a deadly cost. But Lily was willing to die to save those being persecuted unfairly. She remembered her grandfather telling her that all heroes are meant to go out in a flame of victory. It was time for Lily to build her flame.

* * *

**Chapter updates may take more time; I've got school and field hockey to combat with writing...**

**I know that some people are hating on Sirius for drugging Marlene, but remember that there are always two sides to every story...**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	16. Sirius Black and Silver Linings

**Chapter 16 Sirius Black and Silver Linings**

(Only the Good Die Young)

* * *

Lily knew that she shouldn't be here. But the curiosity and draw of the Headmaster's office caught her attention. She stood in front of the griffin waiting for something to happen. But nothing ever did happen. November would be over in less than four hours and December would start. Lily wasn't too sure if she was ready for December.

Shortly after they finished patrolling, Remus had left to the Slytherin Common Room. Lily could tell from his pale face and the trembling of his right arm that something was wrong. But she wasn't in the mindset to care much. Jason was rampaging through England and no one could stop him; no one but her.

Thin fingers traced the charms hanging from Lily's bracelet. A low sigh escaped her mouth as she let go of the silver band and tucked her hands into the pockets of her cloak. Hogwarts was unusually cold for late November.

" Ice Mice," Lily said in a loud and clear voice. Nothing happened. She bit her lip and tucked a loose lock of her hair behind her ear.

" Chocolate Frogs," Lily declared in a slow voice. Still the statue remained frozen. She could feel a brim of frustration forming in her mind as she continued.

" Acid Pops," Lily listed. The griffin's stone eyes met her in an almost mocking stare. She rocked back on her heels and closed her eyes for a moment.

" Drooble's Best Blowing Gum," Lily tried as she opened her eyes. She could feel her hope waning, as the griffin remained frozen.

" Cauldron Cakes. Cockroach Cluster. Ice Mice. Treacle. Toffee. Even bloody Sugar Quills!" Lily suddenly shouted. She took a deep breath and met the eyes of the griffin with a furious stare. A growl of anger escaped her throat. Lily crossed her arms over her chest and rocked on her heels as she stared at the unrelenting stone figure.

" I need your help Professor Dumbledore. I'm so lost. I tell myself every single minute that I will not be afraid. But the thing is, I'm afraid of so many things. I'm afraid that one day I'll tell myself not to be scared but it's too late. I want to help so bloody badly but I'm tired of fighting so much. I want to make a difference but it's not fair that I'm supposed to lose the last person that loves me for that to happen. I can't do anything about Jason. He's my brother that should be enough for god to leave him out of this. I don't know what to do. I'm so bloody lost," Lily managed to choke out. She could feel her magic roaring inside of her but her mind was too tired to even bother dealing with it.

Lily was tired of the endless shields and prisons she had to keep up in her mind. She couldn't stop fighting though. A sigh escaped her mouth and Lily walked away from the griffin statue. She didn't know what to do but that didn't mean she was supposed to waste her time hoping for the impossible.

* * *

December started with blood. Lily sat in a quiet mournful mood during breakfast after Marlene passed her a copy of the Daily Prophet. Their friends were still avoiding Marlene and didn't make a move to make amends. Lily stood by Marlene, but didn't stop exchanging long stares with Michael.

The Prophet described an attack near Liverpool that killed twenty muggles. Three aurors died in the flames of the battle. With a quick glance at the Slytherin table, Lily was sure that the reason Remus rushed from patrol was to attend the carnage.

" Emmeline isn't doing well. Michael won't talk to me outright but he did mention that she is having a hard time with her parents' deaths. Her brother went straight back to the States after the funeral," Marlene commented.

" He has his own life," Lily argued. But she wasn't thinking of Emmeline's brother Rick. She was thinking of the bitter scorn Jason had for Cassius and Pericles. Lily understood more than anyone what Cassius was going through. Jason had to realize that they were growing up, and a part of growing up was growing apart.

" I'd hate for that to happen to me and Adam," Marlene sighed.

" Marlee siblings are meant to be each other's best friends for only so long. Growing up is realizing that brothers can only be your best friend to the edge of childhood," Lily mused.

" I didn't know that you were close with any of your brothers. I was under the impression that one of them tried to choke you," Marlene snorted. Lily tossed her a vexed look and took a sip of her tea.

" Jace and I used to be best friends, until he started Charms School and I went to Greece. Anyways my brothers may be murderers but they aren't shite at the sibling stuff," Lily replied. Tension was stiff and Lily knew it was from the lack of sleep both she and Marlene had gotten.

A yawn escaped Lily's throat as she forced her hair into a tight bun. She glanced towards their friends and noticed that Emmeline and Michael were laughing at a joke Gideon and Alice had made. Even Frank was a trace of a grin on his face. She missed them but it was her job to stand by Marlene.

Lily looked to the front of the room and frowned when she saw that Professor McGonagall's seat was empty. Galen and Alex Moody were speaking in low voices and glanced at the empty seat occasionally. Lily caught Malfoy watching the Slytherin table with a critical eye. She followed his eyes to see the Marauders sitting in a laid out spread.

Jason used his hands to have a loud conversation with Black while Lupin hunched over a worn book. Lily swallowed as she watched James. He wasn't looking at her, instead his eyes were glued to the form of Abraxas Malfoy as his nostrils flared violently. Lily ducked her head and turned to Marlene.

" Black turns seventeen on the day of our game. Will that affect how you'll play?" Lily asked. Marlene bit her lip and tilted her head back. Bright red nail polish glistened on the tips of her fingers.

" I don't know Lily. Emmeline told me it's different for everyone. Some people start feeling the charms on their betrothal's seventeenth birthday; others don't feel anything for some time. Emmeline said that she could sort of feel the charms tying her to Adam but I don't know if I'll have the same reaction," Marlene sighed.

Lily squeezed Marlene's arm and gave her an empathetic sorrowful smile. She couldn't help Marlene and that was killing her. Lily had done everything she could to save herself and her friend but they were running out of time and ideas.

Suddenly Marlene jumped back and yanked Lily from the table. Shouts and statements of exclamation echoed across the Great Hall. Lily looked at the Gryffindor table and saw that the center basket of muffins was lit on fire.

Lily took a shuddering breath and felt a force ram into her chest. She pulled herself from Marlene's grip and felt her magic rip its prison apart piece by piece. Blood fell from Lily's fingers to the floor as she clenched her fists. She knew that the fire distracted people so Lily took the opportunity to run from the Great Hall.

She made it to the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest before her magic overwhelmed her. Lily collapsed against the bark of an oak tree and let out a groan of pain. She squeezed her fingers around the bark and felt her magic send volleys of arrows into her mind. Lily slipped as her feet gave in and she fell to the ground of the forest.

Warmth flooded through her hands and Lily knew that she had to do something. A scream escaped her throat as she clawed into the ground with a determined plea. _It was so powerful, _Lily thought_._ She shoved her magic back and it let out a punch to her heart.

Her hands flew to her chest and Lily felt sticky blood cover her fingers. She grimaced but continued her mental battle for control. Each legion was sent to push her magic into its demolished cage. But it fought back with random swipes of pain. Lily groaned when her head let out a pulse of trilling pain.

She couldn't stop though. Lily didn't even want to imagine what it would be like for her magic to get control for even a mere minute. It would be catastrophic and horrific. A burst of strength came to Lily. She finally locked her magic into a rebuilt cage and slammed the door shut.

A gasp escaped her lungs and with it came her fears and worries. Lily leaned against the tree and took long and careful breaths. Horror broke through her panic and she could feel tears coming to her eyes.

Letting her emotions loose for only a few minutes was enough for her magic to break free. Even worse was the immense strength it had. Lily shivered and curled into a ball. Her chest had stopped bleeding but the wound needed to be care for. Lily didn't even think of that.

How could she be so stupid? Lily closed her eyes and mentally hit herself. She wasn't even able to control her magic for a bloody meal, let alone harness it into a weapon. It was an impossible feat that couldn't be done. But that didn't mean that she would stop fighting. Lily doubted that she ever would stop fighting.

After a clumsy healing charm, Lily walked into Defense Against the Dark Arts only seconds after the bell rang. She missed Potions but Lily wasn't too worried about that. She slipped into the seat next to Michael and tried to clean up her dirt covered skin and hair.

" Did you ditch potions to crawl through the dirt?" Michael whispered. Lily blushed and took her wand out.

" Tergeo," Lily whispered. She felt the dirt and grime almost pop off of her skin and fall to the ground around her with a soft thud. After shoving her hair into a bun, Lily pulled her parchment and quill from her bag. She copied the notes on Inferi with a diligent mood. But distracting thoughts trickled into her mind.

What happened out there? Lily pinched her brow with a thoughtful expression and bit her lip. She knew that her magic was getting stronger but it was growing at an almost exponential rate. Bubbles of fear flooded into her veins; what if it took control while she was sleeping or playing Quidditch?

" Evans care to join the class?" a loud voice requested. Lily blinked and met the light blue eyes of Galen Kingsmill. She could see amusement in his eyes. Yet there was swirl of concern in those bright irises. Lily could hear students behind them snickering as she cleared her throat.

" Sorry," Lily muttered. She didn't meet Galen's eyes as she spoke. His eyes were glued to her robes with a look of horror. But it quickly switched to a look of acceptance.

" Before Evans interrupted us we were discussing the techniques that can be used to ward off inferi. Mr. Lupin care to list one?" Galen said with a nonchalant voice. Lily's eyes flickered to the four seats that the Marauders occupied. She could see Black sliding a piece of frayed parchment under his notes and Jason tucking an object into his bag. Potter wore an odd expression as he looked carelessly at the front of the room. Lily barely noticed that he was slipping his wand into his robe sleeve.

" Light and fire work since they are dark creatures," Remus replied. Lily watched as Galen nodded and shot Jason a suspicious stare before turning to the class.

" Right then. As Lupin said, most dark creatures are aversive to light and fire. During the course of the next month we will be working with fire related charms. For homework write a ten-inch paper on the firestorm charm. I expect papers worthy of getting Os," Galen finished.

Lily paled at his declaration. She couldn't do fire magic; it was too risky. The bell to end class rang and people hustled from the room eager for lunch. Lily slowly packed her belongings before waiting for the room to empty. When only two Ravenclaws remained, Lily walked to the front of the room. She stood over Galen's desk and glanced at the contents.

Papers and quills were neatly stacked on the surface. Lily could see a picture of his family near the edge of the desk. She barely saw the curl of red hair that belonged to her. Lily's fingers reached for it before she noticed what she was doing. It was an old picture from her stay in Greece during the summer.

Lily sat on a log in front of a bonfire. She briefly remembered the reunion with her old schoolmates. Galen sat next to her but it was clear that the camera was focused on her.

Lily could see the flames dancing with the wind and her hair. Her eyes were large and filled with an almost haunting stare in the picture as she watched the fire. Lily's fingers gripped the wood of the log harshly and her lips were pulled into a true smile as she laughed at a joke Selena made.

" You're a different person in England," a voice mused from behind her. Lily turned and met Galen's eyes with an almost guilty stare. She put the picture back from where she picked it up and turned to him.

" War changed you too," Lily answered. Galen nodded for a moment before his fingers brushed the long scar that slashed over his throat wickedly. He rocked forward on his heels before clearing his throat.

" Why aren't you off with your mates. Or should I say mate. What's going on with McKinnon anyways?" Galen commented

" She's going through some stuff. Black turns seventeen on the 21st. She doesn't have much time left," Lily replied in a defensive tone.

" You've got four months Lily, that's not much time either," Galen answered. His tone made Lily flinch slightly and cross her arms stubbornly.

" I know that Gale. I'm trying to keep it under control it's just a bit difficult without anyone to help me," Lily sighed.

" What did you do in France?" Galen asked in a low voice. Lily tugged her cloak over her midsection when a breeze came into the room.

" I didn't have this problem in France. I was happy there Gale. There wasn't much for me to do other than deal with pretentious French girls and worry about you being an auror," Lily snapped.

" I thought you forgot about me. You never wrote or even tried to answer my letters. Selena was devastated you know. She never told you that though. Thought you had enough stuff to carry," Galen replied in a cold voice.

" I can't apologize Gale. I did some stupid stuff and I'm going to do even more stupid things in my lifetime. But forgetting about you and Selena was one of the smarter things I did. I doubt I would be alive if I kept reliving the past," Lily answered in a slightly annoyed voice.

" I've got a ton of papers to grade before the mission tonight Lily. I don't really have time for conversations you spend avoiding answering my questions," Galen finished in a cold tone.

Shame crossed Lily's face and she said goodbye in a bitter tone. The straps of her bag were tight against her shoulder as she walked to the Great Hall. The large chamber was almost silent when Lily entered. When she looked to the front of the hall she realized why.

Abraxas Malfoy stood in the center of the Great Hall with a frown on his face. His eyes glanced at Lily's form for a mere second before returning to the school as a mass. Lily caught Professor McGonagall's eye and noticed a gleam of concern in her teacher's eyes.

She sat on the edge of the left bench of the Gryffindor table. A group of fifth years sat near her and Lily overlooked their stares as she watched Malfoy. He pursed his lips and waited for the hall to silence. Lily glanced at the Slytherin table and caught a look of confusion on Jason's face. He met her eyes for a brief moment before turning to Black.

" Thank you for settling down so quickly. Today morning the Ministry sent news to the parents of students informing them of a new condition for attending Hogwarts. All students must offer their family history for over the past century. This will be used to look for correlations in traits in order to benefit our community. All students in Hogwarts will meet with a representative from the Ministry, at some point during the next three weeks to give information on his or her family," Malfoy declared with an almost sly expression.

As students realized the meaning of his words, shouts echoed across the hall. Lily paled considerably and met Jason's eyes through the sea of shouting students. A bolt of red sparks shot into the air and her peers were silenced. Malfoy narrowed his eyes at the crowds.

" Let me be clear. The Ministry requires this law for all citizens of the British Wizarding Community. Refusal to cooperate will result in wands being snapped," Malfoy spat. Lily blinked at him in sudden shock.

She scanned the Gryffindor table and looked at her friends. They wore grim expressions and Michael had an angered one on his face. Lily's face drained of color when she saw that he was clenching his fists. Suddenly he stood and faced Malfoy with a determined stare.

" Headmaster shouldn't we have a right to private information like that?" Michael demanded. The hall watched him in shock. Malfoy turned to him with a goading stare.

" Family history isn't private Mr. Wood. The Ministry plans to use this information in order to improve wizarding and muggle history," Malfoy answered slyly. Lily snorted at his answer and Michael seemed to agree.

" I really doubt that! This is a violation of our privacy. It's not right for let's say an orphan to have to provide this type of information," Michael exclaimed.

" Mr. Wood if you do not sit down I will be forced to take disciplinary actions," Malfoy barked. Lily watched as he started to lose his collected nature.

" What can you do? You're not even headmaster. Getting some pretentious old blokes to get rid of Dumbledore and put you in his place doesn't give you the right to ask students for that type of information. The castle doesn't even acknowledge you as headmaster. For Merlin's sake you can't even use the Headmaster's tower!" Michael roared.

" Mr. Wood you are acting extremely inappropriately. I'm taking fifty points from Gryffindor and issuing you a week of detention," Malfoy answered evasively. But his voice was drowned out as someone stood across the hall. Lily's heart fell when she saw Potter rise from a sea of emerald green and royal silver.

" Oi Wood! Show our headmaster some respect. I know your mum was a whore and all but that doesn't mean you have to be so disruptive," Potter ordered. Shouts of agreement rose from the Slytherin table and Michael's ears turned bright pink.

Lily's mind raced; anger filled her heart. Potter had no right to speak about Michael's family in that way. She clenched her fists tightly and stood with sharp movements. A few sets of eyes leaped her way as she met Potter's eyes.

Lily could see the amusement and hidden emotions in his eyes. Fury raced through her when she came to a realization. She was only a joke to him. Lily was just something for Potter to laugh at.

" Wood needs his mudblood girlfriend to defend him," a Slytherin taunted. Lily's blood almost boiled and she could hear her magic's seductive voice as it tried to make her give it control. The ache in her chest returned and Lily knew that she was already doomed.

Conversations bloomed across the hall in rapid speed. Lily barely heard Amos Diggory shouting at Mulciber for calling his grandmother a horse as she met Potter's eyes. She didn't notice Wendy Quells, a small Hufflepuff, trying to fix a dispute between two Gryffindors. Lily didn't even notice that Professor McGonagall was arguing with Professor Slughorn while Alex Moody led the verbal disagreement against Malfoy. She only noticed Potter's wicked stare and the triumph in his eyes.

Her wand wasn't the first to let a spell loose. Lily later learned that Emmeline had shot a throwback jinx at Louis Tinselton for saying Dorcas Meadows was a dirty half-blood. Lily wasn't the first person to throw a punch or two. That was Sirius Black when Rodger Davies made a comment about Marlene riding his broomstick. She was however the first person to break.

While the hall was in anarchy, Lily leapt across the Gryffindor table and dodged a lying pile of biscuits. She crossed the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables while only getting hit by a dinner roll. But when she reached the Slytherin table people turned and watched her.

Later, Lily was told that she almost seemed to radiate anger. A second year Ravenclaw informed Lily that she made the air crackle with rage. But at the time Lily only had eyes for Potter's shame. So it made sense that her first move in the large fight was to slap Potter across the face while he was busy sending a jinx at a seventh year Ravenclaw.

" Evans what the hell are you doing here?" Potter demanded. Before Lily could speak, she was yanked to the ground by a long arm. She fell to the ground below the Slytherin table and met Jason's eyes.

" Prongs I'd prefer if Lily didn't get hit by one of Yaxley's jinxes. He never really learned how to properly do a disarming charms. Usually people's arms come off when he hits them," Jason drawled. Lily made it to her knees just in time to see Potter turn to Black with a grin.

" Oi Padfoot! It's the perfect opportunity to do that task we got assigned back in September," Potter called. Lily shivered at the chaotic gleam in Black's eyes as he nodded at Potter. She couldn't move for a moment. But that was enough time for Potter to send a dark blue light at a third year Gryffindor. She didn't recognize the spell but the light was so dark and cold that she knew that it was dark magic.

Lily leaped into action. She stood on shaking feet and tripped over a plate of sandwiches as she made her way to where Potter and Black stood. None of this made sense. Why hadn't any teachers tried to do anything?

Lily glanced at Professor McGonagall and saw that her teacher had almost lidded eyes. Coldness filled her when she recognized the traits of the imperius charm. Her eyes scanned the room and narrowed when she saw Remus Lupin's figure. He was standing near the front of the Slytherin table wearing a concentrated expression. She saw that he was waving his wand at different directions, all of which led to teachers.

This fight hadn't been an accident; it was one of the death eaters' orchestrated events. Dread and misbelief filled Lily as her eyes leaped from figure to figure in the room. Lily knew she had to do something about this. She saw Potter shooting more spells rapidly at select targets throughout the hall. That was enough for her to take action.

A Slytherin moved in front of her with loud steps. His thick eyes flashed as he cleared his throat.

" Reducto," he shouted. Lily's mind filled with surprise before her instincts kicked in. She pulled her wand from her sleeve and dove just as the spell hit a platter of fruit positioned on the Hufflepuff table.

" Cantis," Lily declared. Her spell shot like a bullet from the tip of her wand and slammed into the Slytherin. His loud voice broke into a garbled song and students stopped to stare at him. A seventh year Ravenclaw by the name of Titus Belby shot a stunning spell at the Slytherin. Lily gave him a grateful glance before turning to her original purpose.

Lily made it to Potter and Black's dueling stance. From the angles they stood at it was clear for Lily to see that they planned on becoming dueling partners. Potter stood high and tall; he looked so alive on the battlefield. His body was half-concealed by shadows. Light ricocheted off of the other half and a cruel grin twisted around his face.

Black wore a laughing smile. Lily's stomach clenched from the ease he possessed on the battlefield. Black was acting as though he was at a party. Potter seemed to be taking the firsts breaths of a man who was drowning. They were so different, but from the way they moved and the instinctive spells and dance they shared, it was obvious that Potter and Black were destined to duel together.

She couldn't get to Potter without encountering Black. So instead of trying to do the impossible, Lily moved directly in front of Black. He looked dazed for a mere second before flashing a wide smirk at her.

" Prongs your bird is here," Black called in a long callous voice. Lily glared at him but saw that the people around them were a bit too distracted to hear Black's comment. Potter looked at Black and his eyes leapt on to her figure. Lily was suddenly pulled behind him as he muttered something to Black.

Black shot her a raucous grin before leaping across the mess that was the Great Hall. Lily frowned in his direction before turning to Potter. He stood in front of her with his back only inches from her chest. Lily paled when she noticed the arrays of spells he shot across the Great Hall.

" Potter stop this!" Lily exclaimed. He turned to her and Lily barely noticed the switch of emotions in his eyes. Her mind exploded with furious thoughts that were only amplified by Potter's careless stance in front of her.

" Evans shouldn't you be with the other Gryffindors across the hall?" Potter questioned. Lily wanted to scream at him. He didn't see the pure chaos streaking across the hall and ricocheting off people. He couldn't feel what she was feeling. Lily took a minute to meet his eyes before speaking.

" I know that Lupin has the entire staff under the Imperius Curse. I know that this entire fight was staged. The only thing I don't know is why you did it," Lily answered. Potter's eyes lit up for a moment before he shot her a dry smirk.

" Evans a little mystery is what makes life worth it," Potter answered. Lily wrinkled her nose and grabbed his shoulder when he tried to turn back to the battle. His eyes flashed with anger but Lily stopped him from saying anything.

" Potter stop this right now. Hogwarts is a place for innocence, you've brought war to the wrong place," Lily hissed.

" Evans you can't do anything to stop me," Potter spat back. Lily let go of her control and flashed her wand. The end hit Potter's jugular and Lily's hand shook with a symphony of rage.

" Stop this now. I'm sick of your arrogant behavior and horrible actions. You're a killer, there's a special place in hell for people like you," Lily retorted angrily. A clash of fiery green met a storm of gold and green. Potter seemed to be weighing his options, but a sudden bolt of electricity broke their eye contact.

Lily looked up and saw that Galen entered the Great Hall. He wore a mask of a soldier as he faced the crowd. People seemed to notice their actions; it was almost as though someone took over their bodies. Lily watched Professor McGonagall blink several times before looking at the hall in astonishment.

" Prefects escort your houses back to their rooms. All Professors should stay back. Mr. Wood, Miss Evans, and Mr. Potter stay back too," Malfoy barked from the front of the room. He seemed to regain his senses after the horrible display of lack of control.

Alice and Frank leapt into action and led the prefects from the Great Hall. Lily was shocked to see the empty hall. Food and debris were scattered roughly through the hall. The tables were covered in scorch marks and one of the Hufflepuff benches was smoldering from the remains of a fire.

Students helped injured ones out towards Madame Pomfrey. It was surprising how quickly and efficiently they acted when Malfoy displayed rage. Lily was sure that it could have come from their shame.

A pit grew in her stomach and she clenched her fists. Shame curled like a whip in her mind and hit the few areas of control she held. Lily almost considered releasing her magic. What was wrong with her? Was she really that callous and immature? Disgust grew inside of her as Lily mulled over her actions.

She did try to help muggleborns and prevent fights. But Lily shouldn't have leapt across the hall to fight with Potter. There were more important things to worry about. Her mouth dried when she witnessed a third year Ravenclaw help a small Hufflepuff first year limp across the hall.

" Lily, Malfoy wants us to wait by the Gryffindor table," a voice declared from behind her. After turning and meeting Michael's bright brown eyes, Lily followed him over to the Gryffindor table. She grabbed her bag from the spot where she had last left it and followed Michael to the middle of the table. The Professors and Malfoy stood at the front table and spoke in low voices.

Lily caught Professor Flitwick's eyes while he helped Professor Sinistra clear the head table of all debris. She could see his mind clearing of the foggy imperius curse. Her eyes darted to the back of the hall and saw Remus and Black slinking out of the hall. Before Lily could even come up with a mental reaction, Michael let out a grunt of pain.

She looked over and saw that his arm was covered in a large and unsightly bruise. Lily knelt down and took her wand out to heal him.

" We've got a game in three weeks Michael, try not to damage your right arm," Lily teased.

Nostalgia filled her at the reference to the comment Michael made almost a year ago. Brown eyes met hers and twinkled for a brief moment. But the moment was lost when Potter sat next to Michael and leaned against the wood of the Gryffindor table with careless grace.

His eyes met Lily's and she drew away from Michael with an instinctive pull. Shame filled Lily's stomach; she was too used to Potter hurting the people she loved. It was all a game to him. Every single move she made to show any weakness brought him some sick form of pleasure. Lily never thought that she could hate someone more in that single moment.

" Lily are you alright?" Michael asked. A blush crawled across her cheeks as Lily stood and sat next to Michael. She didn't miss the faint trace of annoyance in his eyes when she chose to sit on his left side and made him the barrier between her and Potter.

" I'm worried about the Professors. They didn't stop the fighting for at least twenty minutes, that's not going to look very responsible to the Governors," Lily sighed. Michael nodded and crossed his arms as he shot a look towards the front table.

" Why do you think they weren't fighting? I'm sure that Hagrid and Professor Sprout have been waiting all year to get a shot at Cygnus Black, even though they knew the risks," Michael mused.

Potter let out a low chuckle and Lily glanced at him from the corner of her eye.

" What's so funny Potter?" Michael asked between gritted teeth. Green eyes flashed with warning but Michael ignored Lily. Potter's eyes filled with a predatory glow and he leaned towards Michael and Lily.

" I just find it so amusing that you have to rely on Lily for every truth," Potter revealed with a smirk.

Irritation filled Lily when Potter said her first name, but she kept her eyes on Michael. She didn't miss his fists clenching tightly or the way he gritted his teeth sharply. Michael relaxed when Lily placed her small pale hand over his large coffee colored one.

" What do you mean?" Michael demanded in a low voice. Potter's eyes seemed to explode with delight and sadistic amusement. He leaned forward and his body was close to touching Michael's. Lily felt Michael bristle, but he remained in his position making sure Potter knew he was not afraid of him.

" Lily figured out what happened to the so-called exceptional staff of Hogwarts only minutes into the battle. I'm sure that she finds your lack of analysis skills enduring though," Potter drawled with a beautiful grin.

Lily blinked, did she just call Potter's smile beautiful? She ignored the shivers racing down her back from the sensual way Potter enunciated her name and sat up.

" Potter you've got no right to insult my friends or the Professors at Hogwarts," Lily finally hissed. His eyes lit up in a note of predatory light; the games had finally started.

" Lily I respect people who deserve respect. Not people like your mate Wood or that bint Vance," Potter shot back. Anger filled Lily and she leaned over Michael. Potter's face was only inches from hers when she managed to answer him.

" It's a bit hypocritical for you to be judging my friends when Black date-raped Marlene," Lily said in a stiff voice. Potter froze and his eyes filled with an icy coldness.

" Evans you don't know the whole story behind what happened between them. Next time you decide to insult my mates get something true, not a lie that McKinnon thinks is true," Potter practically spat.

Lily jumped back from the emotion and hate in his words. His eyes started to defrost and he turned from her and Michael with a sharp movement. Michael watched Lily with guarded eyes but she ignored him. Potter really did know how to get to her.

A loud shout echoed from the front table and Lily turned just in time to see Professor McGonagall and Hagrid leave the Great Hall. Malfoy wore a smug expression as the professors left the table wearing anxious ones. Galen caught Lily's eye and she could see something dark in his eyes.

She watched his gold cloak swirl in the air as he walked with Alex Moody from the hall. Something changed in his gate. It was clipped and seemed to ripple with anger.

" Mr. Potter, Mr. Wood, and Miss Evans don't be afraid," Malfoy said from behind Lily. She turned and saw that he was gesturing for them to go to him. Lily sat up and walked behind Potter and Michael as she chewed on her bottom lip. Something wasn't right; why would Galen be upset?

Lily knew that the scene would upset the teachers but Galen didn't seem that angry before he spoke to Malfoy. Dread pumped into her veins as she took steps closer to Malfoy. His hair was slicked back and the goblin-made cane he used leaned against the wood of the head table.

Malfoy nodded at Potter when they stopped walking. He gave Michael a look of disdain and Lily one of contempt. His body seemed stiff as he sat up from the seat the headmaster occupied.

" Why are you always around when trouble is made?" Malfoy asked. His eyes bored into Lily's and she swallowed rigidly. Potter and Michael moved so she stood in between them. Lily didn't take a step closer to Malfoy. His eyes were narrowed to an abrupt angle as he appraised her.

" I hardly see how you can accuse me of causing that when almost the entire population of Hogwarts was present," Lily answered. Malfoy's lips pulled into a disgusted frown as he stood with a straight back. Lily could feel the air fill with tension.

" I'm not talking about this Miss Evans. I'm talking about that conversation we had only weeks ago. The governors will need a scapegoat and I told you to stay out of trouble. I gave you several warnings and yet you never stopped wandering around the castle at late hours," Malfoy revealed.

Lily furrowed her brows; how in Circe's name had he found out about her tantrum in front of the headmaster's office? But the thoughts were pushed away when her stay at Hogwarts was risked. Lily only knew of three people who transferred from one school to another, let alone attended three. She didn't have plans on attending four or being expelled from Hogwarts.

" Professor you can't blame me for what just happened. I didn't even do anything," Lily exclaimed. Sickly light blue eyes met hers and Lily could see the satisfaction Malfoy got from seeing her show any weakness.

" I can and I will," Malfoy answered. Something clicked inside of Lily as anger filled her heart. She could feel her magic wake in her mind from the annoyance and irritation. That wasn't enough emotion for it to break through. Panic crossed Lily's mind as she took steps back and tried to clear her mind of any emotions.

Potter's eyes met her eyes and filled with surprise. Lily looked at the window near them and saw that a ring of fire surrounded her irises. She shut her eyes and forced any emotion away. Her magic was stronger than she thought. It was growing at an abnormal rate and Lily knew she had to do something.

" I know about that list Potter and Black gave your son. I bet the Minister would be thrilled to learn that your entire family is plotting to kill a majority of the under-aged population at Hogwarts," Lily answered.

Malfoy and Potter tensed at her declaration. Lily didn't notice the look they exchanged. She could barely hold herself together. It was as if her magic was so close to breaking through and taking control. She could feel it gloating in its cage. It didn't make a move to escape; it was saving its energy.

That realization made Lily's head spin. Thoughts exploded from her head like lightening. They flashed through hazy clouds and brought a semblance of sense to her fearful state. But Lily couldn't afford to think about her magic now; she had other things to worry about.

Potter grabbed her by the shoulder and forced her chin up. Lily looked up and met his eyes with a blank expression. She moved her hand to her wand and pulled it out right as Michael shoved Potter off of her.

" You've got no right to touch her!" Michael roared. Lily frowned when he swung his fist back and attempted to punch Potter. But his fist didn't meet Potter's face. It collided with the ground right as Potter turned his head. Something like dread filled Lily as Potter quickly moved and flipped them so he was pinning Michael to the ground.

" Stupefy," Potter muttered. A small beam of a spell came from his wand and hit Michael's body. His eyelids covered his brown eyes as he slumped under Potter. Lily swallowed her bile when Potter rose and brushed his robes off as if nothing happened.

" Thank you Mr. Potter. After this though you and Miss Evans will need to take Mr. Wood to the hospital wing," Malfoy commented. Lily nearly forgot about the slimy man. She turned and saw that his eyes held a smug edge from Potter's impressive moves.

A hand ran through Potter's hair and he nodded. His eyes traced Lily's figure before turning to Malfoy. Lily pulled away when his body moved closer to hers. She could feel Michael's presence behind them. He spent the entire summer and countless nights training. Michael grew up with aurors for parents and a guardian. So how was Pottering capable of disarming him and fighting him like a muggle in seconds?

Lily looked at Potter and knew that Remus wasn't lying. During the battle at the Ministry, she watched him leap into duels as if they were air and he wouldn't breathe for minutes. Potter lived for dueling, whether it be muggle or wizard. He was born with a gift; adding that to Jason's talents with the unforgivable curses gave Lily shivers. With every day that past, Lily learned something new that seemed to make the outcome of the war look more and more dismal.

" Thank you for sharing that interesting bit of information Miss Evans, I'll be sure to keep it in mind. I've got several things to do today so lets wrap this up. You, Mr. Wood, and Mr. Potter will all be serving detention for the next week every single night directly after your last class ends until dinner starts. After dinner you will serve another detention until curfew starts on Friday and next Wednesday. On Saturday and Sunday you will report to Mr. Filch at sunrise and work until lunch. After that you'll work until dinner. There will be no complaints. I should be expelling you Miss Evans but your presence seems to have benefited me more than your absence," Malfoy finished.

The information processed in Lily's mind for a minute. Outrage hit her; they had a Quidditch game to win in three weeks. How was Gryffindor supposed to train without a captain? She also had so much schoolwork and prefect duties. Lily knew that even without sleeping for the next week or eating she wouldn't be able to do all of her schoolwork.

But the goading expression on Malfoy's face kept her silent. Her lips pursed as Malfoy watched her internal war. When he saw the lack of emotions and the acceptance, a sneer twisted his aristocrat looks. His pale hand raised in dismissal and Lily turned to leave without another word.

" Miss Evans I do hope you will remember that the curfew on the castle is mandatory. There are a lot worse things roaming the castle than children who know a few tricks," Malfoy advised.

A blush coated Lily's cheeks from fury; he just threatened her! She bit on her lower lip and pulled her wand out to levitate Michael's body.

" Levicorpus," Lily stated. Her wand stood out level to Michael's floating body as she moved across the hall to get her bag. Potter was still speaking with Malfoy. Lily didn't want to wait for him. Seeing his smug expression made it harder for Lily to suppress her emotions.

The heels of her Mary Jane shoes clicked against the stone floor while she walked from the Great Hall. The Entrance Hall was empty save for the floating presence of the Bloody Baron and Nearly Headless Nick.

Unlike most of the Gryffindors, Lily wasn't very close with Nick. She didn't like ghosts in general. Something about them gave her chills and shivers. They chose to linger on a world that was fated to forget about them and yet they fought against fate. Lily could fight destiny but not fate.

Michael's face looked so grief stricken while he was unconscious. Most people looked younger while they were stunned or asleep. But Michael Wood looked as though needles were prickling his skin every few seconds. His discomfort brought Lily emotions that she couldn't afford to feel.

She wanted to help him. But if Michael kept fighting battles he was doomed to lose them. Was it worth it to fight with him? Lily knew that if she wanted to duel with him then it should be. But she didn't know if fighting fire with fire would do the world any good.

" Evans wait up! Professor Malfoy wanted both of us to take Wood to the hospital wing," a voice shouted. Lily froze for a millisecond before speeding up.

But Potter was at least six inches taller than her. His hand wrapped around her arm and Lily instinctively elbowed him in the gut. But Potter moved quickly and had her stuck in his arms.

This was too familiar. Lily shuddered and closed her eyes. What did Potter want from her? She met his eyes and studied the supernovas hiding in his irises. Clashes of green and gold melded with a warm hazel. Lily could even see flickers of brown in his eyes. They didn't look like the eyes of a killer. No they looked like the eyes of someone she could trust.

Lily knew something was wrong. How could Potter's mere touch make her feel safe? That wasn't natural. It wasn't normal how they seemed to fit too perfectly and that Potter could light her on fire or blow all her emotions away. A ragged breath escaped from Lily's lungs just as Michael's body fell to the ground.

She turned and waited for it to collide with the ground but it never did. Inches before the stone ground Potter managed to stop it with a nonverbal spell. Lily gave him a stunned look and cleared her throat.

" Nonverbal magic isn't something we learn for some time Potter," Lily pointed out. She knew that was the wrong thing to say. Potter's eyes glinted in a predatory way as he careless held the helm of his wand.

" What can I say Evans, I'm really an in the closet Ravenclaw," Potter drawled. Lily bristled from his tone and crossed her arms. The open arches from the courtyard to their right let a breeze in. The cold air led to a series of goosebumps forming under Lily's cloak. She rubbed her arm before turning to Potter.

" What spell did you and Black use on those students?" she asked. Potter's face twitched as he forced it into a blank stare.

" Don't look for trouble Lily. You've got enough looking for you," Potter answered vaguely.

" Potter you can't lecture me. You and your gang of death eater wannabes just attacked a group of under aged children. What just happened was one of the most disgusting things I've ever witnessed and that includes seeing my grandparents ripped apart," Lily spat.

Potter tensed and leaned forward. Something in his expression looked too wild. Lily straightened her face and met his stare with an icy cold one.

" Evans I love that you're a spitfire but you've got to stop being so touchy. I am a death eater and I like what I do. For Merlin's sake I live for it. I'm a Slytherin and Marauder first before I am your fiancé," Potter said in a low voice.

" We're nothing Potter. I've got four months and I plan on doing something with them," Lily answered. She turned from Potter trying to end the conversation. But his eyes were watching her with something hidden in them. A scowl graced Lily's features as she gestured to Michael's body.

" Let's get him to the hospital wing. I've got a week of detention ahead of me and I need to start doing some of my homework," Lily announced. She started walking before Potter could say anything. Lily knew that the next week wasn't going to be very pleasant.

* * *

An uneasy feeling sat in the pit of Lily's stomach. Her bottom lip was raw from her teeth grinding into it constantly. Her eyes glanced at the clock sitting in the corner of the trophy room every few seconds. While she was stuck in detention, her friends were at the Order meeting being held that night. Lily knew that Marlene, Frank, Alice, and Gideon were all chosen to report to fieldwork.

She was supposed to be with Adam and Fabian on full night mission to a pub in Knockturn Alley that rumored death eaters were hanging out in. But Lily was stuck in detention.

It was only yesterday that she was assigned enough detention to be an honorary house elf. But the bright red shade of her fingers made it seem longer. Something happened with Marlene and Emmeline while Lily was in the hospital wing waiting for Michael to wake up. According to Alice and Fabian, they seemed to have apologized while locked up in their dorm with no other people.

Lily knew that it was a start. Even though Adam was ignoring Marlene, the rest of their friends missed Marlene. Michael told Lily that he would give it a week before they had a giant group hug or something.

The war had something to do with the speedy resolution of the Marlene predicament. People were dropping dead left and right; they did not want to have any loose ends before leaving their homes for work.

" Lily you've been cleaning the same trophy for the last fifteen minutes," Michael acknowledged from behind her. A deep blush coated Lily's cheeks when she noticed that her mind had wandered off.

The cloth in her hand slipped to the ground while she placed the trophy for the 1865 Gobstone Tournament Champion in its spot. Her fingers pulsed painfully from two hours of work and Lily decided to take a break.

While she was working on trophies for clubs and tournaments, Michael took over academic achievements, and Potter worked on the Quidditch trophies. Lily didn't even want to think of Potter. While she and Michael were working at a pace they thought was fast, without magic, Potter had nearly finished polishing half of the trophies from the 1700s. Lily assumed that had something to do with the fact that Potter was constantly in detention.

A loud crack ripped through the air when Lily stretched her arms. Her nose wrinkled at the noise; only a day without Quidditch practice had already taken a toll on her. She leaned against a cabinet filled with Dueling Club trophies from the past thirty years.

After craning her head back and looking at the ceiling for a good five minutes, Lily knew that both Potter and Michael were watching her. It annoyed her to see that people were constantly checking to see when she would finally break. They didn't understand that she couldn't afford to break. There were too many things to worry about; Lily didn't want to add her magic to that list.

She knew that if she suppressed her magic until the holidays everything would be fine. Two weeks would be enough time to make a trip to Greece and hunt down Professor Gladstone. Hopefully she would know some way to subdue the fire or even get rid of it.

Lily was willing to try anything. Its strength was taking a toll on her well being. Within the past month, Lily could feel her body quivering under its foreboding presence.

When Lily sat up from her break, she glanced at the shelf she was leaning on. A name registered in her mind and Lily grabbed the doors of the cabinet and opened it. Her fingers shook as she wrapped them around the handles of a glossy trophy. Someone good with dust-repellant spells must have spelled it to keep debris away. But Lily didn't care much for the trophy. The name sitting on the plaque burned in her mind.

" Lily I'm supposed to clean the academic trophies. What are you doing near the Herbology ones?" Michael asked. His voice was close and when Lily turned she saw that Michael stood only a foot from her.

His eyes saw her pale skin and widened from the haunted stare in Lily's eyes. She hadn't thought about this person in months and it killed her to realize that. When Lily closed her eyes she could see a petite woman with a set of long blond hair. Her cheeks were rosy and she smelled faintly of cinnamon and flowers. Rosaline Auclair, the woman who died before she could fulfill her duties as Lily's godmother. The memory disappeared from Lily's mind when she opened her eyes.

" Right sorry. I forgot," Lily managed to choke out. She didn't need Michael to see whom she was so broken about. Michael lost so much from this person's family. He wouldn't understand why Lily was tearing up.

Before he could say anything and Lily could move, a hand grabbed the trophy from Lily's hands and read the name. She blushed furiously and met Potter's twinkled eyes. He wore a wolfish grin when he handed the trophy to Michael.

" Another thing we have in common Lily; dead godparents," Potter mused. Anger twirled into the sadness coursing through Lily's veins. She didn't register that her hands were clenched into tight purple forms.

" You've got a trophy room to clean Potter. I'd prefer to keep my past out of this detention," Lily spat. She turned from Potter and Michael towards the section she was cleaning. Her mind wandered as she polished the Frog Choir trophy from 1756.

So many people died in her life. It seemed as though fate had something against her loved ones living. But Lily was a regular with death. It haunted her since the day she lit the Rosier Manor on fire. And even before then she watched her parents and brothers stumble over deaths. She couldn't give her family credit; her mom's first love and brother died, yet there was no mention of these figures. Lily didn't even know that her dad had a sister.

She knew it was hypocritical to judge her parents for keeping secrets from her and her brothers. But the secrets stung even though she had empathy for them. The tips of her fingers were a horrid shade of pucid red by the time curfew rolled around.

Filch watched her, Potter, and Michael with narrowed eyes as they marched from the trophy room. Lily could feel her magic gnawing at her body from inside of her. She wondered what it would be like to light Filch on fire.

Her feet stopped moving and a look of horror crossed Lily's face. What in Circe's sake had she just thought?

" Lily are you okay? Curfew starts in five minutes and we're supposed to be in Gryffindor Tower by then," Michael pointed out. Potter had left them with a chilling leer long before.

It took Lily a few seconds to regain her senses; she needed to get out of the castle. After recomposing her face into a calm expression, Lily faced Michael.

" I'm fine I just have to do something right now," Lily answered. She wasn't being a good friend. She should've told Michael the truth, but it was too risky. Only a handful of people knew her secret and one of them was Black. Lily couldn't afford to have any more loose ends.

Michael's hot stare drilled into her back as she sped off from the hallway. The December air was chilled to a moderate degree. That was enough for Lily's skin to flush under the material of her thick cloak. She could see the Quidditch Pitch and Forbidden Forest from the corner of her eye.

It took her three minutes to sprint across the grounds and reach the edge of the Forbidden Forest. A clash of energy ripped into her heart and Lily nearly collapsed to the ground. But she summoned all of her strength and sprinted into the woods.

Her feet felt like lead and her body ripped into small branches. The full moon sat high in the sky above Lily's head. The concept that Remus Lupin would be running through the woods as a werewolf didn't process in Lily's mind. She had other things to worry about.

The first legion attacked her heart and Lily collapsed against a tree. Struggled breaths escaped her mouth as puffs of smoke and Lily clawed at the ground in panic. It was so strong. A moan broke into her mind and everything happened too fast.

A few seconds later, Lily was staring at the scorching remains of a tree and took slow ragged breaths. She knew that the fire should've burned her fingers but they weren't. Instead the veins stood out against her arms and seemed to throb with power.

Her cloak and shirt were scorched and burned. But somehow Lily managed to get away with not even a paper cut. She was so weak and it would be too easy for her magic to take control in that moment. Faces and memories flooded into Lily's weary mind and she knew that she had to fight for the people she loved.

After half an hour of screaming and pain, Lily stood on shaking legs and felt her heart stuttered weakly from the labor of her activities. How was this even possible? Lily's mind was tired but exploded with confused questions that she couldn't answer.

Her magic was oh so smug. It sat proudly in its cage knowing that it could overtake her if it wanted to. The bold question in Lily's mind was why wasn't it finishing her off. Why did it choose to let her force it back into a cage it spent years suffering in?

Lily's eyes were dry against the cold winter air. She shivered as her trek through the Forbidden Forest took a perilous tone. Lily's shoes weren't meant to face a foot of snow and that was clear from the cold and wet feeling in her toes. Snow fell to the ground in light puffs that clung to Lily's hair. But the snow evaporated much too quickly.

When Lily looked down she noticed that the snow around her feet was melting. A frown landed on her face when she fumbled for her wand. A curse escaped Lily's mouth when she remembered leaving it in her dorm.

The walk from wherever she was back to the castle would be a long one. Even with her strangely high body temperature, Lily knew that the night wouldn't be a very pleasant one.

Her body temperature rose and fell at random intervals. At some point Lily gave up on trying to figure out what was happening to her and focused solely on surviving.

The trees were what scared Lily the most. Their branches were gnarled figures with twisted empty forms. She could almost feel the deadness they processed during the night. Luckily, the gentle glow of the moon seemed to reflect off of the snow and give Lily a dim source of light. She hoped it would be enough.

For some reason, Lily's thoughts took her to the past. She wondered what her parents would think of her. Caring about their opinions never mattered much to Lily since they never showed a part in her life since her childhood. But after returning to England, Lily thought of them more than ever.

She hated that Jason and her brothers got so many more years with them than she did. She also was thankful for it. Growing up the way she did, allowed Lily to develop a character she was proud of. Her childhood may have been spent learning how to kill beasts or learning not to get close to anyone in fear of losing them, but it did make her into someone she knew that she was proud to be.

Life took too much from her though. Lily lost countless people in her life and she knew that it wasn't over yet. Her dreams were getting worse with every night that passed. Her thoughts were getting more dismal with every second that flew past her.

Mr. Kingsmill wasn't doing well according to Selena's letters. Lily had to speak with him one last time. He was the last person of her mum's past that she could find something from. Professor Gladstone would take time and energy to hunt down, and Lily didn't have either.

If Gryffindor won the Quidditch Match, then she could go to Greece during the winter and fix her magic issues. A deeper purpose to that idea sat heavily in Lily's chest. She had to say goodbye to Selena and a place that she once called home.

There was no way Potter would let her go anywhere out of his sight. Lily didn't even know if compulsion charms would work from that much of a distance. Either thought was a reason for her to be trapped in England. Lily didn't want to go down screaming and fighting anymore. She fought enough, it was time for her to kiss her past goodbye and accept her future.

A howl broke Lily's thoughts and pure adrenaline flooded into her veins. She turned around and heard the crunch of weight under the snow. Instinctively, Lily reached for her wand but it wasn't there.

" Shit," Lily muttered. Her mind cracked crazily with thoughts and within seconds Lily found herself climbing up a tall pine tree. She hadn't climb a tree in years and this tree was much more difficult to climb that the ones in Greece. Her shoes slipped against the bark but Lily didn't give up.

Sloppily she pulled her body on a thick branch in the middle of the pine. Small scrapes covered her arms and the material of her long socks was ripped to pieces. Hair escaped the tight braid Marlene shoved her hair into during the morning and clung to Lily's neck in fear.

" Padfoot come on! There's no one here. Prongs won't be able to hold Moony back for long. We've got to help him get Moony into the shack," a very familiar voice declared.

Lily furrowed her eyebrows; what was Jason doing in the Forbidden Forest during a full moon? She leaned over and saw that her brother was walking quickly through the trees. Next to him was Sirius Black wearing a suspicious expression.

" Jason I swear I smelled something. There's a girl in the woods, I'm never wrong when I've got Padfoot's nose," Black insisted. Lily froze as his eyes leaped through the branches of the trees near her. She was lucky when Jason rolled his eyes and grabbed Black's arm.

" Sirius we're death eaters. I'm sure that I wouldn't sense some stupid person who decided to take a stroll through the Forbidden Forest on a full moon. You're not thinking properly. It must be those compulsion charms. Cassius told me that he felt them coming into place a couple of weeks before he turned seventeen," Jason promised.

" You're right mate. It must be the charms. Let's go, last time we left Prongs alone with Moony he was almost sliced in half," Black finished.

Lily's ears prickled as his tone; why did he sound so anxious? She leaned down a bit and saw that Jason was disappearing in the distance. Black followed behind him with a quick pace.

When the two were gone, Lily ungracefully shimmied down the tree and saw the path their shoe prints left in the snow. Her thoughts were confused as she followed the trail. Lily didn't even notice the prints turning into paw marks as she walked.

Dread filled her when an epiphany came to her mind. Lily could see the castle looming in the distance but didn't care. Didn't the Marauders call Remus Moony? She remembered Jason referring to Potter as Prongs during a few occasions. Why would Potter be with Remus while he was a werewolf? Even Potter wasn't stupid enough to do something like that.

More questions entered Lily's mind but she didn't want to answer them. Her thoughts just gave her more things to be curious about and Lily was tired of hunting for answers. The realization was lost from her mind the minute her head hit the pillow of her bed when she managed to return to her dorm that night.

* * *

" Mr. Black please return to your seat. As I was saying before Mr. Black interrupted the class by his inappropriate declaration of his idea that Miss McKinnon's hair looks rather, and I quote, sexy today, the spell avis is the bird conjugation spell. We've gone over most of the wand motions and mental training for the spell up to this point. Since there is only five minutes left in the class, the next time we meet we will work on the actual spell. For homework, please write a twelve inch essay regarding the usage of the spell as a shield charm," Professor McGonagall announced.

Lily glanced at Marlene's face and noticed that her usually composed friend was a light shade of red. But Marlene did look better than she had for the past month or so. Frank informed Lily over the weekend that Marlene and Adam worked together during the Order meeting to argue that precautions would be needed to ensure the safety of students riding the Hogwarts Express while returning home for the winter holidays.

It seemed that things were settling for Marlene McKinnon. But from the loose state of her clothing, Lily knew better. Marlene only had less than three weeks before Black turned seventeen. Lily knew it was like waiting for a car crash to happen. Only for her friend, the crash was happening in slow motion and there was nothing Lily could do to stop it.

" You're going to get premature wrinkles if you keep frowning," Michael commented from next to Lily. Lily turned to him and barely noticed the letter he was tucking into his sleeve. She briefly remembered him and almost all of her friends receiving letters only hours ago during lunch and instantly putting them into their bags.

" What do you have there?" Lily asked. Michael grimaced as he pulled the letter out. Lily could see the Black family crest sitting in the left corner of the letter and glossy black ink spread into calligraphy. It was an invitation to Sirius Black's Coming of Age Ball.

" We've got no choice but to go Lily. We have the Quidditch match in the morning on Saturday and at eight in the night the Hogwarts Express is taking us to London. Sunday night I'm being forced to go to Black's Ball otherwise I'll risk the only thing I can offer to the Order that's actually useful," Michael explained.

Lily pondered his answer with worry as the bell rang. She grabbed her bag and checked the clock; Lily had five minutes before she was due for her detention. It was a bad way to start the week, but it would give her an opportunity to ask Michael what he was speaking about.

After Filch took Potter for detention in the Hospital Wing to sort potions, Lily and Michael were sent to the library to stack old scrolls in alphabetical order.

" What did you mean when you said going to Black's ball was the only thing you could offer to the Order?" Lily asked. Michael looked up from a pile of scrolls that explained the deterioration of muggle and wizard relationships during the Black Plague. His eyes held a vague sense of finality that scared Lily.

" Lily the Order is made of wizards and witches who bring something to the cause. But there is a surplus of purebloods marked as blood traitors or possible ones. Adam and Frank have already been asked to join the death eaters. They're testing us Lily. It's time for us to stop playing on both teams," Michael sighed.

Lily's fingers wrapped around a battered scroll near the top of the pile that Madame Pince had left for them. She glanced at it and blushed when she saw the title. Why would the library need a book discussing the various pros and cons of hickeys?

" That doesn't make any sense Michael. If you're choosing sides why would you go to Black's ball?" Lily asked. Michael's body slumped. It was then that Lily noticed how ragged he looked. Life took too much from Michael Wood; it wasn't fair.

Lily was sure that Michael's torso was a mess of fading scars and reformed muscles. His hair was cropped and revealed the jagged scar that spanned from the curve of his forehead down to the tip of his cheekbone on the fringe of his face. But it was Michael's eyes that made Lily realize what he was about to say. They were filled with the desolation of a man knowing that he was doomed.

" Moody wanted a spy Lily. Adam and Frank need to stay neutral for the sake of the public so the entire pureblood society isn't swayed. Gideon and Fabian have too much at risk for this. If any of them join the death eaters it will be enough to sway the opinions of too many. My family is already marked as traitors, it'll make the death eaters feel even more smug if the son of two aurors joins them," Michael explained in a low voice.

The fire from the candle to Michael's left exploded in a flicker of light. Lily barely noticed it as she stared at her friend.

" Michael you can't. The Order has Severus Snape and Peter Pettigrew. They don't need you. I need you," Lily stuttered. Michael couldn't do this. She wouldn't let him risk his life to be something he was completely and utterly against.

" Lily we are losing this war. Snape and Pettigrew aren't from prominent families. The Wood family has enough ties and Emmeline's my cousin. With her marriage to Adam it'll secure me a future request to join. It's only a matter of when," Michael sighed.

" Michael this is the most stupid idea the Order has ever come up with. See what happens when I'm assigned a mission on Saturday and you're alone at the meeting? You're my best friend Michael Wood. Marlene and Selena will always be my sisters, and Galen is my sun. But you're the person that always gives and gives and gives. I need you to stop giving and for once ask for something. Michael if you do this we'll never be dueling partners," Lily said.

The last sentence slipped into the air before Lily could pull it back. Michael's eyes filled with emotion and he blinked.

" You want me to duel with you?" Michael asked in a stunned voice. Lily brushed a strand of hair that escaped her bun back with an annoyed expression.

" Michael you're not an idiot. I'd have no other person watching my back than you," Lily assured.

" What about Marlene or Selena? Or even Galen Kingsmill! Why would you want to duel with someone who has a tendency to attract danger?" Michael demanded.

Lily leaned over the pile of scrolls and wrapped his fingers into hers. His hand was bigger and callused in comparison to hers. Green eyes met brown ones and Lily could see Michael's desperation for an answer.

" Marlene isn't a dueler Michael. Selena and I will never be together long enough to duel. Galen doesn't duel with anyone-he can't risk the idea of letting someone fall in battle again. But that's not the reason we will duel together. Michael if you haven't noticed you're not the only one to have a tendency to attract danger. You know my moves before I even make them. I've been through so much with you. I doubt I would ever be able to trust anyone else to duel with," Lily explained.

The smile that slowly landed on Michael's face cracked Lily's heart open. It was filled with something she was proud to make happen. His arms pulled her into an embrace and Lily breathed in Michael's wind-like smell.

" Lily it would be my honor to duel with you. But I have to do what's best for those who can't defend themselves. If I don't do this then who will?" Michael asked.

" Anyone but you Michael. Please I've lost too many people, I don't want to add you to the list," Lily beseeched. Her eyes focused on the loose thread escaping from Michael's sleeve and she could feel tears bubbling to her eyes.

Before Michael could respond to her, he was thrown back and slammed into a nearby bookshelf. A hand grabbed Lily and pulled her up. She stumbled against the rough force and found herself in James' arms. His eyes flickered to her for a mere moment before turning to Michael.

" Potter what the hell are you doing?" Lily demanded. He ignored her question and held his wand out towards Michael. Lily watched as Michael stood and faced her and Potter with a raged expression. He attempted to take a step towards them but Potter shot a spell at him. Michael jumped out of the way and Lily let out a breath of relief.

Potter's body hummed with a glow of adrenaline. His breathing was slightly ragged, making Lily sure that he ran straight from the Hospital Wing to the Library.

" Not another step Wood. If you try anything I will blast your legs off," Potter growled. Lily could feel his heart pounding from under the material of his shirt. Her bracelet cut harshly into Potter's collar but he didn't seem to notice.

" Potter stop! You're supposed to be in detention right now," Lily exclaimed. Hazel eyes met hers and Potter's grip tightened in a possessive way. His hand ran through his hair cockily and Lily's bloody boiled.

" Lily stay away from Wood. I'm doing this to protect you," Potter answered in a low growl. He pushed Lily behind his back and faced Michael.

" Potter Michael is my friend for Merlin's sake," Lily said in an annoyed tone. Potter looked at her with pity in his eyes and turned to Michael.

" Bicorn horn extract, "Potter announced. Lily stared at him in confusion and wondered if she needed to get Madame Pomfrey to cart Potter to Mungos. A grunt interrupted her thoughts and Lily looked at Michael.

His eyes were glazed over and their eyes locked. At that second he shot up and moved towards her and Potter with a feral gleam in his eyes. Potter shoved him back and Michael let out a guttural sound.

" I have to kill her! I need to kill the mudblood," Michael shouted. Shock exploded in Lily's chest and overtook the hurt she got from Michael's words.

" Stupefy," Potter said in a low voice. His spell landed on Michael's chest and the wild gleam in his eyes faded. Lily watched as her friend fell to the ground.

" What's all of this yelling?" Madame Pince demanded. Her eyes narrowed at Potter and widened at the sight of Michael's prone figure.

" My scrolls! That boy is crushing century-old text," Madame Pince cried. Lily ignored the wailing Librarian as more students turned to them in curiosity. Potter's eyes were filled with a distant hatred as Lily examined him.

" What the hell happened to Michael?" she ordered angrily. Potter's body switched to an alert stance and he ran a hand through his hair.

" Someone placed a complex dark charm on Wood. Whenever someone says bicorn horn extract, Wood will feel the sudden urge to kill you," Potter explained.

Lily stared at him in disbelief? Well she wanted to disbelieve him, but none of this made any sense.

" How do you know this?" Lily asked quietly. Behind Potter, Two seventh year Hufflepuffs were lifting Michael from the scrolls. A first year Ravenclaw helped Madame Pince salvaged the crushed scrolls and several students watched Lily and Potter with wary eyes.

" I was in the hospital wing when they brought Mulciber in. He got hit with two bludgers during practice. When the bastard was high on pain relief spells he accidently slipped that he and his cronies managed to land a crude dark jinx on Wood that would make him try to kill his mudblood bitch," Potter explained in a distasteful tone.

" How did they manage this type of magic? Mulciber's gang isn't really bright with spells," Lily muttered. Potter shrugged with a cold expression.

" I don't know. I left immediately and Jason is keeping an eye on them right now. But I swear Lily I will slowly and painfully kill whoever did this," Potter vowed.

" Why? If this happened to any other muggle student at Hogwarts you would've probably praised Mulciber," Lily hissed. Potter's eyes flickered with annoyance and he pulled Lily towards a bookshelf near the back of the library away from curious eyes.

" You're not a muggle born Lily. If it weren't for those charms your dad placed on your name I would tell you exactly what you are. I'm losing sleep worrying about whether you are safe. I spend hours looking at the map ensuring that you're safe. You're going to be the death of me," James sighed.

The sheer desperation in his voice almost broke through Lily's emotional shields. Reality came for her and forced her to face it. Potter was a monster; there was no way he could care for her. There was no way he could care for anyone at all.

" I can't do this right now James. Michael is jinxed, how do we get the spell off him?" Lily asked.

Potter leaned against the bookshelf and ran a hand through his hair. Lily wrinkled her nose at this gesture and Potter smirked.

" We? I don't recall teaming up with you Lily," Potter drawled. Annoyance flickered in Lily's mind; now Potter decided to make himself useless.

" When did I say you could call me Lily?" she asked in a tired tone. Potter pushed himself off the bookshelf and met her eyes with an inquisitive look. His tie hung loosely against the material of the shirt he wore. Lily was sure that Potter's shirt must have cost a fortune. Considering that fact that he was the heir to one of the largest inheritances in Europe let alone England.

A memory flew into Lily's mind; Jason said something about James' guardian a few weeks ago. Lily wondered who was James' legal guardian.

" I didn't know that I needed permission to say my fiancé's name," James answered in a teasing tone. Lily sighed and brushed a lock of her hair back. Someone cleared their throat and broke Lily's train of thought.

A small boy stood near the edge of the bookshelf that Potter was leaning against. Lily instantly recognized him and smiled.

" Trevor how's practice going?' Lily asked. The third year glanced behind him and toyed with the material of his tie.

" It's not the same without you and Michael. Fabian and Gideon work us too hard. Marlene is the only one willing to stand up to them because Frank and Adam haven't really shown up to practice much. But they're sort of mean to her," Trevor answered.

Lily's eyes flickered with surprise when he said that Adam and Frank weren't going to practice. She had missed less than a week of practice and already the team she and Michael worked so hard to construct was falling apart at the seams.

A waft of green apples hit Lily's nose and she remembered that Potter was right next to her possibly listening to her seeker bemoan the state of their team. Luckily for her Trevor seemed to have a reason for being in the area other than Quidditch matters.

" Err Lily. Professor McGonagall wanted me to tell you that she needs you to meet her in her office with Professor Moody. She told me to tell you that it had to do with your Transfiguration Essay," Trevor squeaked.

Lily frowned and thought this over; she received an Exceeds Expectations on her essay. Why would Professor McGonagall want to speak with her? Realization dawned on her; it was a message from the Order.

" Shit! I forgot to hand in my essay," Lily muttered. The lie was quick and flowed off her tongue too easily. Potter raised an eyebrow but didn't speak when Lily turned to him.

" Potter we will continue this discussion later. I've got to go now," Lily ordered. His eyes gleamed with amusement but Lily ignored the stare. Hopefully Madame Pince would forget about their detention and Lily could escape the library.

" Oi Griffiths I'll escort Evans to Professor McGonagall's office. It's not safe for muggle borns to walk through the castle alone," Potter slipped in. Lily shot him a vexed look but quickly put a smile on her face. She couldn't have Trevor worrying about her; it was her job to worry about him and everybody else at Hogwarts.

Trevor's brown eyes met Lily's with an inquisitive stare. She bit her lip and tugged on a loose lock of hair before smiling warmly.

" It's fine Trevor. Potter and I have to talk about the new captain duties Madame Hooch instated. You've got some time before you have to worry about captain duties," Lily explained. Trevor's eyes danced with excitement at Lily's last sentence.

" Alright Lily. I'll see you at practice on Thursday," Trevor announced. With that note, the small third year bounced away from her and Potter carrying a dreamy expression.

Lily sighed and wondered if Hogwarts would survive long enough for Trevor to be Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. He was such a sweet boy and it wasn't fair that fate was going to steal so much from him. Lily knew that he came from a half-blood family. His muggle born dad married a muggle woman that made him one of the worst people in the eyes of the death eaters.

A silent vow broke Lily's dismal thought; she would not let the death eaters harm Trevor Griffiths. He was too much like the little girl she left behind in England when she went to Greece. Only this time, Lily was certain that she would not let that child become a ghost.

" You're so much like your brother," Potter mumbled. Lily blinked and looked up at his thoughtful face.

" Be a little more descriptive Potter. I have five- I mean three brothers," Lily answered. She walked with him towards where Michael had fallen. The scene looked like nothing ever happened. Except for the indent Michael's body left in the weak wood of an ancient bookshelf that is.

The straps of Lily's bag, were tightened around the curve of her shoulder as Potter led her from the Library. It shocked Lily that she was all too used to the stares of her fellow students.

" All of them I guess. You think over every situation carefully like Pericles. You can be quiet and lose yourself in your own mind like Cassius. But you can also be loud and as alive as Lucian was. You've got Julius' realistic thinking and his control of emotions but at the same time you're just as bubbly as Jason is. Lily you won't believe how many times I've looked at you during the past few months and seen how much of a Gastor you really are," Potter declared.

His statement registered in a bitter embrace. Lily looked at his eyes and frowned; how did he know so much about her? It hurt her that he seemed to understand her brothers more than she did. Maybe that was the real reason Lily fought against being a Gastor so much. She didn't want to abandon her loved ones in the same manner that her brothers abandoned her.

But reality washed over her mind in a slow manner. That wasn't true. As much as Lily wanted to believe that her brothers were just selfish little boys, she couldn't. They were monsters that created destruction with no remorse. A memory brushed Lily's mind; she could still feel Julius' wand pressing into her neck and his arms tightening around her shoulders. She could see the crazed gleam in his eyes that only held a hint of control.

She straightened her shoulders and looked away from Potter as they climbed a flight of stairs.

" You're wrong Potter. I'm nothing like my brothers. People say that the people you spend time with influence you. I never had enough time with my brothers for them to influence me. Julius never cared much for me. He saw me as a nuance who shouldn't have been born. We were fourteen years apart for Merlin's sake how could he ever influence me?" Lily hissed.

Potter's eyes drilled into her back but he didn't speak for a long time. A lazy winter breeze entered through the window and brushed Lily's hair back. The touch felt too gentle for winter. Winter was a time of sorrow and cruelty not one for gentle embraces.

" You act as though you've moved on from mourning your family. But I think it's the exact opposite. You are too scared to even face the fact that since you made a mistake when you were nine, you never got to even grow up with your brothers. You never got to know who Julius really was. Did you know that he was the one who took every single one of your siblings to buy their owls? Did you know that he was the person that Jason used to spend hours writing to instead of your parents. I think that Julius was more of a best friend to your brothers that a brother. I used to be jealous of how strong the Gastor bond was you know. My parents were too old to have kids when they had me Lily. That didn't stop me from asking them every year for a sibling. I hate myself for forcing them through that agony. My mum used to cry when she thought I was asleep. You had a childhood that you're not grateful for. Instead you fill it with false truths to reassure yourself that your family is nothing more than demonic. Has it ever occurred to you that this is a lie that you must tell yourself in order to simply keep up your idiotic muggleborn lie?" Potter spat.

Passion filled his eyes and it broke Lily to see that this was something he let build up inside of him for so long. A hand tore through his frenzied hair and his body seemed too alive.

" You hardly understand anything about me Potter. I spent three years being raised by people haunted by their children. My grandparents may have loved me, but to them I was nothing more than the runt of a litter. I didn't have some enchanted childhood like you did. I didn't even get to know my parents let alone my brothers. I used to hope that they would write or even show some sign of even existing. But they never did. I grew up and realized that I didn't need them to live. Sometimes realizing that people truly are evil, no matter how much you love them, is enough to let go of them," Lily sighed.

She could see Professor's McGonagall's door looming in front of her. Potter didn't move from in front of her. He confused her beyond her greatest measures. Something about this boy made her lose control over every moral she created. He made her weak and Lily could not afford to be weak.

" I'm tired of you. Why can't you just let me enjoy my last few months of freedom? What do you want from me?" Lily begged. A hand brushed against her cheek and gently forced her chin up. Potter's face towered over her. Half of it was concealed in the shadows of the midafternoon.

" I want you to stop fighting this. You're mine regardless of some compulsion spells or not. I've known since last Christmas that you are mine. Even you know, somewhere under layers of self-denial, that you belong to me," Potter murmured.

Lily felt a blush coat her cheeks as his lips danced around her ear. Potter's arms pulled her into his dark hold as shadows embraced her skin. Lily let her head fall against Potter's chest and tried to regain control.

She could feel her magic stop attacking its prison. Something about Potter seemed to bring it to a languid state. For the first time in weeks, Lily didn't have to stay alert constantly. She didn't have to worry about her magic fighting against her and taking control.

It was only then that tiredness washed over her. The adrenaline that kept her going for weeks seemed to fade and exhaustion pulled on her blood. After weeks of minimal sleep, Lily could finally feel the toll it took on her body.

" You're cruel and possessive. You don't' know what a limit is and you don't care about who you hurt. You're only truly alive when you're in battle. Why is that Potter?" Lily managed to mumble.

" I fight for the people and things I care about Lily. I duel because if I didn't Jason and Sirius would be dead by now. I kill because if I don't then those people will die from agonizing yearning for death. But I'm not human Lily. I'm so alive because I'm on the edge of death. Being immersed in death's shadows is the only thing that keeps me awake," Potter answered.

" Why are you so scared of falling asleep?" Lily asked. Her voiced cracked from the weight of Potter's words. His lips pulled into a tight grin as he answered her.

" The world is too beautiful for me to even miss a second of it. Have you ever seen a battle at its raw form Lily? It's the most amazing thing I've witnessed. Everything seems to shift as fate and destiny clash with each other. I've only seen one thing that I can compare to it," Potter replied.

Lily craned her neck to meet his eyes. She always felt that Potter had galaxies hidden inside of his eyes. But in the moment the swirls of gold and green looked almost in harmony with each other.

" What is that thing?" Lily asked. Potter turned from her and faced a western window. His eyes dulled before exploding into a sunset of dreams. The cracked shape of his lips tore into a smile.

" You're late Evans. Professor McGonagall is waiting for you. I'll help you with Wood's situation but I've got to get back to my detention right now," Potter replied.

His eyes met Lily's one last time before he turned and left the corridor. Startling light hit Lily's face and she looked outside; lightening was blooming in the horizon.

She was shocked to realize that Potter was so quick to avoid answering her question. Yet Lily couldn't judge him; even Potter was allowed to have his secrets.

* * *

" What did Professor McGonagall want to talk to you about?" Marlene asked. Lily looked up from their cauldron and grimaced. Last night hadn't been much of a glorious event. In actuality it was horrible.

" Spinner's Woe Cokeworth is ashes Marlee. Death Eaters spent their evening lighting the street on fire," Lily answered. In her head she could see Professor McGonagall's sympathetic face explaining this to Lily.

Marlene's hand paused while cutting strips of garlic. Lily met her friend's eyes and saw bewilderment in them.

" According to my files, I used to live in Cokeworth until my family moved when I was nine," Lily explained.

She turned before seeing Marlene's face and turned the solution in the cauldron counterclockwise twice. From across the room, Lily could see Professor Slughorn dumping out the potion Justin Davies made with disdainful eyes.

" Why do your records have Cokeworth as your family home?" Marlene asked. Lily frowned and used her wrist to brush a strand of hair from her forehead. She didn't want to risk getting any of the draught on her skin.

" I don't know. Darcy Auclair, my godfather, filled in my information before I came to England. He probably wanted me to look as muggle as possible or something," Lily sighed.

As Marlene poured the garlic into the cauldron, a thoughtful expression graced her face.

" That bloke who went to Durmstrang lives in Cokeworth. The one who is good with making spells," Marlene mused.

" Snape?" Lily asked. She hadn't seen Snape at the meeting at midnight on Saturday. From what Frank told her, Snape was stretched thin between the death eaters and the Order. Lily wondered why Snape even bothered to help out in the Order. If he went to Durmstrang then how could he have a shred of humanity left in him?

Durmstrang was the third school of the trinity of European Wizarding Schools. Memories of Monsieur Delacour regarding Durmstrang in disdain in comparison to Hogwarts and Beauxbatons filled Lily's mind. The Durmstrang Academy had a high affiliation with the Dark Arts.

She remembered Apolline Kingsmill jokingly threatening Galen with being sent to Durmstrang if he didn't stop skiving classes. Galen immediately stopped missing classes after that threat.

But Marlene's original statement did register in Lily's mind. Why did Darcy Auclair choose Cokeworth of all places? As far as she knew, the entire town was filled with muggles. Lily didn't know if Snape was pureblood but she always assumes that he was.

It didn't make much sense for a pureblood to be from a muggle coal mining town. That led Lily to the conclusion that Snape was either muggleborn or a half blood. Somehow he managed to get into Voldemort and Dumbledore's inner circles. Lily bit her lip; Snape wasn't someone to thwart.

" Lily are you even listening to me?" Marlene demanded. Lily blinked and turned to her friend. From the fumes rising out of their cauldron, Marlene's usually sleek hair took a frizzy note.

" Sorry Marlee I'm just really tired. Between prefect duties and detention I barely have time for homework, let alone sleep," Lily admitted.

" Well you're almost done with detention. Tomorrow is the last day and then on Thursday you'll be in Quidditch practice. I swear, between Frank and Adam missing so much practice and Gideon and Fabian arguing all the time we're doomed," Marlene muttered.

" Why are Frank and Adam missing practice?" Lily asked. Marlene's face pulled into a frown as she leaned. Lily caught a hint of Marlene's floral perfume as Marlene's hair brushed her face.

" They've been leaving the castle once classes are over to help out at the Order headquarters. We're down to forty members outside of those at Hogwarts Lily. Frank and Adam are helping with recruiting people," Marlene whispered.

Lily nodded and sat up to take a vial of their potion. It wasn't in the best shape but it was enough to get an Outstanding. After vanishing the remaining draught, she leaned towards Marlene and twirled a lock of her hair around her finger.

Usually Lily preferred to put her hair into buns or ponytails, but she didn't have enough time that morning to do that. Her hair sat in a sheet of glossy blood red locks. Its length was starting to annoy Lily. She wasn't the biggest fan of hair going below her mid-waist and her hair was creeping towards that length.

" Jason told me that Potter has a red hair fetish," Marlene declared. A blush coiled over Lily's skin as she faced Marlene.

" Marlee why are you telling me this?" Lily asked. Her friend's eyes took a mischievous tone, one that Lily hadn't seen in weeks.

" Nothing other than the fact that Potter is too distracted by your hair to even help Lupin with their potion," Marlene revealed.

Marlene let out a noise of annoyance when Lily's hair hit her face. Whiplash did often come from fast movements. Potter's eyes were alert as he watched Lily. He didn't even look slightly embarrassed that she had caught him staring at her. Instead a sly smirk graced his face and Lily's cheeks turned a bright shade of red.

" Why am I even blushing?" Lily muttered. The bell rang and she gathered her belongings. The class filtered from the room slowly. As Lily lowered her textbook into her bag someone cleared his throat.

" Miss Evans I was hoping to speak with you. I'm holding a get-together next Friday for the holidays. An invitation should be sent to you in the mail but I wanted to make sure you would be able to attend. I'm inviting some of my most famous alumni so there will be many opportunities for you to make connections," Professor Slughorn listed.

Lily hid her grimace and nodded. She wasn't a fan of Professor Slughorn's' parties. The one he was speaking of was one that Lily had heard of before. Most students would take a bat bogey hex to get an invitation to Professor Slughorn's Christmas Party. Michael told Lily that when he was a third year, Benjy Fenwick and him attempted to sneak into the party only to get caught by Filch and assigned a week of detention.

" I'd be delighted to attend Professor. I'm sure that it will be truly marvelous," Lily answered. Professor Slughorn's eyes gleamed as he smiled.

"You're such a lovely girl Lily. It's a shame that you seem keen on entering the Auror department, otherwise I'd do everything possible to get you accepted into the Potions Society," Professor Slughorn sighed.

" Well someone has to do something about the massacres Professor," Lily answered with a hint of a dark smile.

" Oh Miss Evans forever the giver! I shouldn't be keeping you late from Defense Against the Dark Arts now. Off you go then. Maybe you'll stop by my room some time soon for a potions making session," Professor Slughorn offered.

Lily stood and pulled the strap of her bag over her shoulder. She smiled too sweetly and nodded.

" That would be great Professor. It was grand speaking with you but I do have class now. I'll stop by your room once my detentions are over," Lily assured. Slughorn led her over to the door and said goodbye.

When his door closed, Lily let out a breath and chewed on her lower lip. She probably wouldn't have much time for potion sessions with Professor Slughorn. The Quidditch Match between Gryffindor and Slytherin was coming up soon. Lily had to get a grip on her team and win the match.

" I never knew that you were interested in working with the aurors," a voice commented. Lily jumped and pulled her wand out. She blushed when she saw that the tip of her wand was pressed into Sirius Black's throat. He stepped out of the shadows and gently pulled her wand down.

" Circe Black! Don't sneak up on me like that," Lily ordered. She tucked her wand into her sleeve and met Black's gray eyes with an annoyed expression. He chuckled and wrapped an arm over Lily's shoulder. She frowned before pushing it away.

" Why aren't you in class right now?' Lily asked. Black shrugged as they started walking towards the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Lily ignored the damp smell of the dungeons as her shoes hit the surface of the cold stone floor.

" Prongs doesn't think that it's safe for you to go to class alone. I offered to wait for you to finish your little gossip session with Sluggy since people are started to wonder why Prongs is always with you," Black explained.

A hint of a memory registered in Lily's mind; she swore that the name Prongs was a bit more familiar than it should have been. But she brushed that thought off as a sleep deprived muse.

" Any reason why you volunteered Black? I mean we aren't on best terms after I found out that you raped Marlene," Lily hissed. Black's face twisted into a pained expression before he forced it into the same chaotic predatory one he usually wore.

" Evans remembers that there is more to that story that just Marlene's side. Maybe I wasn't the person who wanted Marlene to lose her virginity that night," Black confessed.

Lily snorted and ignored the winter breeze that filled the air as they walked up the stairs to the ground floor of the castle. Black's steps were out of sync with hers and for some reason this disturbed her.

" Black you were the one that drugged Marlene. I'm pretty sure that there isn't anyone for you to blame," Lily spat. Black brushed a lock of his hair out of his face and made a noise of disagreement.

" No one said that I did it with consent Evans. James must love you a hell of a lot to deal with your personality. You're excessively loyal and I doubt that you could go a moment without pure adrenaline running through your veins," Black summarized.

Lily gaped at him before making a nose of frustration. She stopped walking and Black raised an eyebrow at her. They were only steps from the DADA room but Lily was tired of Black.

" Potter can't feel anything Black. He is exactly like you. You're both monsters," Lily declared. She turned to walk to the classroom but Black's warm fingers encircled her arm pulling her towards him. A storm of gray clashed with emerald flames as Lily tried to pry Black's fingers off her skin.

" What makes your beloved Jason any better than James or I? You're a hypocrite Evans. You'll go straight to Jason and James and play with their hearts when you're hurt. But once you see who they really are you'll stab them in the hearts. You've got this twisted cycle with them and they may be fine with it, but I am not. You've got to decide whether you're going to accept them the way they are or face a life without them. Actually you don't even have a choice in this matter. Even if you and James weren't destined for each other, you'd be stuck with him and Jason. You have to accept them Evans. Lily you are breaking them just like my cousin broke Julius Gastor. I'll be damned if my brothers turn into a heartless killing machine like your brother," Black verbalized angrily.

" They already are heartless killing machines Black. I can't accept them for this. I can love Jason for simply being there for me when everyone else in my family failed me. But I will never love Potter. He has done too many horrible things," Lily sighed.

She knew it was a pathetic and almost redundant response but why did she need another reason. Black and the whole universe judged her for hating Potter. Did people not understand that he was a murderer? How could the world adore this inhumane monster? Lily never understood how Potter could be so loved and revered. It didn't make any sense.

In the same manner, how did the Marauders and Slytherins become so feared and powerful? The answer was one that Lily always knew. The world always needed a villain masquerading as a hero. Even if every single person in England was sure that Potter was a good person, Lily would always know that a piece of hell was in his soul.

* * *

" Lily Evans you have just finished your last detention. How does it feel to be free?" Fabian teased. Lily swatted him with her hand and grimaced.

" Prewitt my hands are ready to fall off. Malfoy made Michael and I empty the pus from Sprout's collection of poisonous plants today. Meanwhile Potter got off with a dismal from detention for working so hard," Lily groaned.

Her friends were assembled around the fireplace in the Gryffindor Common Room. Lily felt as though she hadn't seen all of them together in so long. Alice was busy with head student duties. Emmeline practically lived in the library. Marlene started helping Pomfrey out in the Hospital Wing as an excuse to avoid Black and Fabian. Adam and Frank left the castle through the tunnel to Hogsmeade practically every single day after classes finished. Gideon and Fabian were constantly at the pitch with Trevor or trying to maintain order amongst their peers. Meanwhile, Lily and Michael were trapped in detention until Wednesday after curfew.

The Common Room was empty save for their group of nine. Lily looked at her friends as she and Michael scribbled the last of their homework out. She was relieved that her week of detentions was over but at the same time, the stress of all the events she missed was overwhelming her.

From Alice, Lily learned that Malfoy had ministry officials attend classes to see if teachers were teaching well. Apparently they didn't think that Professor Omina was in a right mind after she attempted to bombard them with glass balls. But this revelation disturbed Lily. Ever since Cygnus Black and Malfoy joined the staff of Hogwarts, the other teachers had a hard time maintaining balance.

Emmeline told Lily and Michael about the news from International basis. The states couldn't send help due to an outbreak of Vanishing Illness. Most of the continent assumed that England was a waste to help. According to Emmeline's brother, Bishop Shacklebolt was storming the North American Continent with a group of Aurors taking down any signs of death eater activity. The American Ministry was questioning his brutality but from the despair in England they let him continue his work.

Marlene brought news from pureblood society. People were in a state to be easily swayed either way. According to her, If one more family in the Holy Seven declared their loyalty to the Purists then they were doomed. Frank and Adam exchanged stares with Gideon and Fabian when Marlene said this. Half of the Holy seven consisted of purists. The other half still had to state their position. Lily hoped that her friends would make the right choice, not just for the Wizarding World, but also for themselves.

Adam and Frank apologized to Lily about missing practice but did have some form of good news. At least twenty people were recruited to the Order. Including the most surprising insider for death eater news. Lily hadn't thought about Eliza Rosier in a very long time. But it seemed that her brothers' fiancés had a thing for being recruited to the Order. Lily wondered what made Eliza join their side of the war.

Gideon and Fabian grimly informed the group that their peers were struggling with the war. They brought news of fights breaking out across the castle. The only bright side to the situation was that Amos Diggory and Amelia Bones were showing signs of being interested in fighting the Death Eaters. Gideon seemed to light up when he mentioned that the entire Bones family could be of use in the Order.

As the group contemplated the news brought by their friends they seemed oblivious to the small ginger girl that had entered the Gryffindor Common Room.

" Professor McGonagall needs to see the Head girl and boy right now," a small fourth year squeaked. Lily turned towards the girl and saw a head of copper hair. From the smiles Gideon and Fabian shot the girl, Lily was positive that the girl was some how related to them.

"Willow I've haven't seen you in ages! How is your family doing?" Gideon suddenly piped up. Lily glanced at the girl and noticed that shade of hair with sudden interest. There were only a handful of gingers in the wizarding world. Lily and her mum weren't classified under the ginger category, but rather in the subsection of redheads. The girl in front of Lily had a stunning head of bright crayon orange hair. A toothy grin lit up on the girl's face when she saw Gideon sitting next to Adam and Emmeline.

" My mum and dad are great. Mum had the baby back in September: her name's Julia for Julius Gastor. Dad wants her to be a Quidditch star just like Julius," Willow exclaimed.

A pang hit Lily's chest sharply; she'd almost forgotten that the public once adored her crazed dead brother. She never knew that it was to the extent that strangers would name their kid for him though.

" I bet you're the best big sister Willow. You're great with Charlie and Bill," Fabian quipped. Lily shot him an inquisitive look and the small girl seemed to just notice Lily. Her eyes widened at the sight of Lily's bright green eyes and long blood-red hair.

A half-sided smile slid onto Lily's face as Willow stared at her with a slightly opened mouth. She wondered what the girl was thinking. Was Lily the kidnapped fifth year who survived a death eater miraculously or the girl seen too often with the Marauders?

" Lily sorry I forgot that you didn't know Willow. Lily this is Willow Weasley. She's a cousin of Arthur Weasley, my sister's husband. Willow this is Lily Evans. Be warned she can pack a real good throwback jinx," Gideon introduced.

Lily shot him a mocking glare before smiling at the girl. She took the time to analyze the ginger with critical eyes. Willow's hair was cut in a short bob to the edge of her jaw making her look older than fourteen. A pair of brown eyes were surrounded by thick lashes and arching eyebrows. Blooms of sun kissed freckles covered every visible inch of Willow's skin. But Lily's eyes flickered with surprise when she saw the faint scar on Willow's left hand.

The girl's eyes followed Lily's and a rosy blush coated her skin. Empathy filled Lily when Willow moved to cover her arm with the shabby material of her sleeve.

" We've all got our scars Willow. There's nothing to be ashamed of," Lily finally said. Michael caught her eye and his jagged scar barely registered in Lily's mind.

A thin embarrassed smile graced Willow's young face as Frank and Alice stood. An impatient look seemed to etch the skin of Alice's face. Her pale hand moved to push a lock of her cropped hair behind the curve of her ears as she cleared her throat.

" Sorry Lily but Frank and I have to go now. Willow send our love to your parents and say good night. You've got curfew," Alice ordered. The tone was a tad too motherly for a girl who never had a younger sibling but Lily settled on the fact that being Head Girl changed Alice Prewitt.

" Right. I'll see you and Gid for Boxing day brunch. It was nice meeting you Lily," Willow finished. Minutes after the girl left, a thought stirred hectically in Lily's mind.

Alice and Frank had left long ago. Soon after, Marlene and Fabian left for their own dorms with statements of homework to do. Lily's eyes examined the remaining group. Emmeline and Adam were curled up on the side couch. Every few seconds, Adam's fingers traced a pattern along the inside of Emmeline's palms. This gesture was one Lily had witnessed several times before. She wondered why Adam preferred tracing patterns as to holding hands or lacing fingers with Emmeline.

Gideon's thigh was pressed against Lily's as he and Michael spoke in soft voices about a recent gnome issue near Michael's home. Lily knew that Michael lived in Langley, a small village on the outskirts of Glasgow. From discussions with him, Lily discovered that the village had a high population of half bloods and was close to be considered over forty percent wizarding.

She wondered why Michael's childhood had been so lonely if he grew up with so many wizards and witches near him. But that wasn't the main thought on Lily's mind.

" Gid why is it that Willow didn't say that she'd see you at the Christmas ball?" Lily asked. Her statement made Adam's fingers pause as a distasteful expression sat on his face.

Gideon turned to her and his brown eyes looked almost gold in the light of the fading fire.

" The Weasley family is considered to be on the fringes of pureblood society. Arthur, Willow's cousin, is the sole surviving direct descendant of the Weasley line. Septimus Weasley adopted Willow's dad. Adding that the man is a half blood and also publically disapproves the Purists, her family isn't really invited to much events," Gideon explained.

" Oh is that how she got the scar on her left arm?" Lily asked in a low voice. Emmeline's face scrunched up as she answered Lily.

" Like Gideon said, Willow's dad didn't please the leading heir from the Sacred 28. A supposed accidental doxy nest was dropped on her home during the night. The family had to relocate from the sheer destruction and since the doxies have repopulated. I think that they shacked up with Arthur and Molly Weasley for a few weeks before moving to Edinburgh recently," Emmeline explained.

" Willow is fine. All the event has done is made her keen on going into the Department of Magical Creatures. She has a load of papers written by some crazy Hogwarts graduate. Xenophilius Lovegood is the bloke's name. He started a magazine last spring. I swear all of the writers are high off CM," Adam snorted.

Lily raised an eyebrow at his statement. CM was the shortened name for Chelidonium Minuscula, a potion that inebriated its taker. The potion was one of the several illegal potions that the Ministry looked high in low through Knockturn Alley for. Lily was positive that most of the Wizarding World tried to keep the potion out of public eye. The substance had a similar feeling to the muggle drug Ecstasy. A faint memory from her days at Beauxbatons tugged at Lily's mind.

Her later days at Beauxbatons weren't something Lily was proud of. During the early years Lily was drowned in the sorrow of losing her cousin and grandparents. Along with it was the cold taste of abandonment from her own family and the lack of Jason's letters to keep her company. The first two years of her stay in France were a source of icy pain, but the last one wasn't something Lily was very proud of.

A pair of cruel azure eyes filled her mind. Why hadn't Benjy Auclair ever told Jason or even his dad about the horrible things that Lily had done? She chewed on her lip and pushed away memories of the short period of time when she had given into the darkness of her fifteen year old life.

" Lily are you alright?" Michael asked. His warm eyes bored into Lily's and she blinked those thoughts away. No one needed to know about memories locked away so tightly that she hadn't thought of them in years. No one needed to know that Lily had reasons for avoiding any alcohol or drugs at parties.

" I'm fine it's just a lot to take in. I always thought that purebloods didn't have classes. You know since there's so few of you lot," Lily squeaked. It was clear for Michael to see that she was lying, but the others couldn't tell. But he never asked for the truth. Michael understood that some things had to stay buried and remain that way.

* * *

Across the continent a storm of lightning and thunder battled in the night sky. He had never been able to sleep while it was raining outside. But as a child, his little sister's demonic nightmares outweighed his own troubles.

A faint memory of staying awake all night in Lily's room entered his mind. He could still see the pale blue walls the shaggy gold rug. He remembered being the brave brother. No one had entered the room for months after Lily was sent to Greece.

His father closed the door the night she left and never opened it. His mother skirted around the hallway and acted as though the closed door simply did not exist. Julius was the one to snap Lily's first broom in half a month later in a fit of rage. Julius had always been closer with Lily. It seemed to be the last snapping point for his older brother.

He was too young to remember Julius being left at the altar. He was too young to see his heart shatter into pieces that only his family was able to stick together. He did remember Julius spending more time with them than most of his friends' siblings did. Yet, Julius always did have a tendency for skirting around the three middle brothers in exchange for Jason and Lily. He used to hold one in each of his hands calling them his personal sun and moon.

He used to be close with the two other middle brothers. That was before Lily was banished from England. That was before her memory was all but erased from the Gastor household. When his arrival at Hogwarts came and the sorting hat declared his house, things changed forever.

He finally had something in common with Lily; he was different. She was the unique one. All of the other Gastor children were just cookie-cutters of each other. Lily was the mirror image of their mother, excluding the curls and dimples she inherited from their dad. She was the darling child who could do no wrong. But then she left and the world lost the gentle embrace of the moon.

The woman in his arms stirred and broke his train of thought. She knew of his sleeping problems but didn't say a word about them. Instead she would stay up late during stormy nights and tell him stories of her childhood and family until sleep finally took her in.

It was almost dawn; he could see the sun peaking over the edge of the sky. But the clouds swarmed over the source of hope and engulfed them in a gray world. He faintly wondered how Jason was doing. His brother, the sun of Julius's life, must be suffering from the weight of the world.

Jason who lost so much too soon and was forced to take the job of heir. Jason wasn't supposed to be the heir. He was supposed to be the playboy darling of society. He was supposed to take Julius's job when Julius was too old to be Society's darling. Jason wasn't meant to spend his youth writing letters to the people handling the ball for them.

He knew that it was the crappiest year to leave. With the Gastors holding the ball and the Dark Lord's power extending, Jason must spend nights at a time without sleep. He was selfish and cruel. But really that was the dictionary definition of the Gastor son.

Jason had his friends to keep him company. From the many experiences he had seen between the Marauders, Jason seemed to have four other brothers that would never let him down like he did.

His golden fingers were tapping against the ring on his left hand. Underneath an old floorboard nearby was a smaller ring identical to the ring on his hand. His proposal was planned out and all that he had to wait for was the perfect moment.

He wasn't supposed to find love. Even his brothers teased him since youth that he preferred books to birds. In reality he had never found the right girl. Until the day he came to Greece and met the risk-taking and life-loving Selena Kingsmill.

She stirred in his arms when a particularly loud knock registered in his mind. He frowned when he heard the sound again. Why was someone at his door at five in the morning? He didn't want to wake Selena so he quickly and silently moved her body from on top of his.

Years training with his best friend as a death eater paid off. Selena still didn't know of his involvement in the Dark Lord's army. She didn't know that he used to be considered one of the best medics their forces had. But the Dark Lord had let him leave England and take over the situation in Greece so easily.

He was a Gastor after all; a born leader. It had been easy enough for him to figure out that the Greeks had been fighting a cold war with werewolves for centuries. It was buried in his mind that his family had been the reason for the war.

After slipping on an old t-shirt from his days as a Puddlemere-loving Gastor son, he silently left his bedroom. The knocking at the door grew louder as he crossed the spacious apartment. His work did pay off for the luxuries he grew up adjusted to.

Sometimes he wished that he wasn't born into high society. It would have been so much easier for him to be from a lower family. His intelligence was his own making, not something he inherited from his family.

A yawn escaped his mouth as he opened the door to the apartment. He blinked at the sight in front of him and wondered if he was turning into one of the patients at the hospital he worked at.

In front of him was a face from his past that he hadn't seen in such a long time. But something was different about the eyes that followed his little brother around during his childhood. They were filled with desolation and anguish. He winced and knew that the Gastor family ring only amplified the pain the man in front of him.

Muscular shoulders that only stood an inch or two below his own sagged. The man wore a pair of expensive robes that were ragged and covered in thick bloodstains. With a flick of his eyes, he saw that the man had a trail of blood behind him.

What happened to him? Confusion filled his mind as he looked at the slanted state of the man's body. From his ragged breaths and clouded eyes, he was sure that the man was either extremely sick or in tremendous pain.

But through either, the man managed the classic Gastor golden grin as his aristocrat jaw pulled into a look of relief.

" It took me almost a week to find you. Pericles I'm under the impression that you went to such lengths to keep your family away," the man drawled. It amazed Pericles that even while the man was dressed in blood and gore he managed that smug Gastor tone that was all too natural.

A flicker of annoyance brushed Pericles' mind as he crossed his arms over the material of his shirt. A lock of flaxen hair tickled the curve of his ear as he placed the best frown he could muster onto his face.

But it didn't last for long. Pericles had gone so long without seeing any of his brothers seeking him out. A pang in his heart filled with warmth as a reluctantly amused grin coated his face.

" Cassius Daniel Gastor what the hell happened to you?" Pericles demanded. His brother's lips fell from the cocky grin he possessed. Pericles barely noticed that he seemed to wobble as he stood with a straight back. Instinct from growing up with rowdy brothers and being on the battlefront made him move to wrap an arm around Cassius. But before he could, lightening clashed and the wind broke against the window behind Cassius.

Pain, so much pain, rested in Cassius's golden eyes as he tilted his head up with the pride worthy of a devil. Pericles's eyes widened when he saw that Cassius's dark mark had been ripped out of his arm. He could see the infected flesh of his brother's exposed insides and even the white of his bone.

" The world has made a hell of my heaven. Only I am not ruling. I am suffering for the sins I committed in England. I lost my parents. I lost Lucian, Pericles. I even lost Natasha. Now that god has taken everything from me, all that's left is for hell to take my poisoned soul," Cassius managed to gasp.

As the world soul escaped his perfect lips, Cassius made a noise of agony and doubled over. Pericles watched in horror as his brother vomited blood. Cassius choked for air as he stood with a guilty expression.

" Sorry about that. It seems to be a side effect of mum's genes," Cassius mumbled. He seemed to being speaking to himself rather than Pericles. Pericles moved quickly and wrapped an arm around Cassius's shoulders.

He began to drag his brother into his apartment but Cassius stumbled out of his grip. His eyes held a feral tone and Pericles saw a flicker of black in them. He rolled his eyes at his brother's dramatics and moved to grab him.

" Don't touch me Pericles. My soul is dark like ichor. I'm destined to join the damned in hell. I'm a monster Pericles," Cassius sobbed. It broke Pericles to see his brother so set on being damned.

He was positive that the mania of his brother's infection was killing him. He was a healer, and possibly the only one close enough to save Cassius. Pericles could finally do something. He was in the battles that killed Lucian and Julius. He wasn't there to sit by Jason's side as he mourned their parents. He wasn't there to save Lily when she needed him most. But he could be here for Cassius.

For his entire life Pericles watched his parents fawn over Lily and Julius. They were the favorite children and that was so clear to see. He used to wonder if his parents would act as mournful as they did when Lily was banished.

For his entire life Pericles watched Lucian and Cassius bond and leave him. They were supposed to stick together. They were the three musketeers after all. But once he was sorted into Ravenclaw, they abandoned him for death eater dueling practices.

It only got worse when Pericles informed his family that he was accepted to Mungos. Sure, his parents were proud of him. But his brothers lost any hope to look up to him. He would never be the warriors that Julius and their father were. He would just be there to patch them up after a nasty jinx.

For the past year of his life, Pericles lived an empty life. Julius was driven to madness from their parents' deaths and Lily's return. Lucian and Cassius had each other and their fiancés. Jason had a new family in the Marauders. Even Lily had a place amongst the blood traitors while she pretended to be a muggle born.

Pericles didn't tell anyone that he blamed Lily for Julius's fall. If anyone was able to keep his brother sane it would be Lily. It was clear to Pericles since the day Lily returned. Julius had referred to her by his childhood nickname, Marie. Julius stopped addressing any of his siblings with their old nicknames after Lily left. He may have been cold to her, but Lily could have put some effort into saving Julius.

Instead she ran away from their family and let them die. Slowly, piece-by-piece the Gastor family fell apart. Pericles didn't even bother to tell his brothers that he planned to take Selena's last name if she agreed. He only took the Gastor ring so he could hide the fact that his had been thrown into the sea months ago. Pericles was ready to let go of the Gastor family, but it seemed like it wasn't ready to let go of him.

As Pericles pulled his brother into his arms, thankful for the days as playing beater on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, he knew that the Gastor family would never truly let go of its hold on him. He loved his brothers and sister through all of their faults but he was growing tired of picking them up and forcing broken pieces back together.

In truth they were all too broken to fix, but Pericles couldn't help but try. He was the leader, the eldest brother. Even if he abandoned the others and never proved himself they all knew that he was the one to go to when in trouble.

" I got you Cassius. I'm not going to let you fall like Julius and Lucian," Pericles vowed.

* * *

**First I want to thank all of the people who stuck by me and waited for this chapter. I don't have any true excuses for the delay except for me constantly writing this chapter over and over again. I've made three versions of it and this one is the one that I am most proud of. Thank you chelsea, BethMalfoy,NotNormalIzi, and all the other people who reviewed and pm me.**

**Thomas Todd, your reviews keep me young. They're golden like Jason's hair.****Also I want to thank BethMalfoy for stepping in and beta reading this chapter for me. Your words and help were truly great.**

** A note on Part three, I am planning on two or three main perspectives to take. For all of those Marlene and Sirius fans I'm sorry but their relationship and Marlene's with the Gryffindors will not be fully explained until Part Three since Lily was in detention for a good portion of this week.**

**Once again thanks for all the reviews and support.**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	17. Fragile Hearts

**Chapter 17 Fragile Hearts**

**( Alone Again Naturally) **

* * *

Icy tingles shot into the skin of Lily's hand. The skin was a brilliant bright pink but she didn't mind. The ball of white snow in her hand was worth the worries of getting frostbite.

" You act as though snow is some blessing from god," Michael grumbled. Lily turned to him and saw that he had sprawled out against the back of the stone bench they were sitting on. His legs were encased in a pair of dark jeans and a maroon jumper adorned his body. Lily barely noticed how small she looked in comparison to Michael's muscular long build.

Rivulets of water trickled from the palm of her hand. Lily could feel snowflakes land on the curves of her eyelashes and pushed a lock of her hair back. After an afternoon Quidditch practice, she changed into a pair of old jeans and a sweater she borrowed from Marlene. Marlene had wider hips and a smaller chest than Lily so the material stretched against her torso. But it was the first shirt she could find in the locker room.

Dinner would start in minutes and Michael had to tell something to Lily. She still wasn't aware of why he pulled her from their friends and took her to the courtyard near the east wing of the castle. They didn't speak so Lily balled up the puffy white snow and gently held it in her hand.

" There isn't much snow in Greece or Southern France," Lily answered. The ball fell from her hand and left a pool of water in its place. Lily's warmer than normal body temperature assisted in drying the water off. She brushed her moist hands against the material of her jeans before shaking the locks of hair that clouded her vision.

Lily had grown fond of her long and straight hair. It grew to reach the curve of her ribs and remained the same bloodstained color that her mother once possessed.

" You grew up here though," Michael said. Lily gave him an uninterested stare; she was starving since she skipped lunch in exchange for working on a Charm paper.

" It's not like I'm an alien Michael. I just haven't been around in winter for some time. Last year it wasn't that cold and the snow was gray. It's looking like a perfect Christmas setting," Lily answered.

Michael rubbed his fingers against the course texture of his wand's handle before meeting her eyes. Lily glanced at his scar and noticed that the once jagged purple mess had taken an almost slivery tone. But it only stood out against the olive tone of Michael's skin.

Michael looked across the courtyard and his eyes flickered with golden warmth as he spoke. " What are you doing for Christmas? I've got plans to spend the holidays with Emmeline at her family's estate, but I could always tell her that you and I are going to spend Christmas together," Michael offered.

Lily suppressed the urge to blush and chewed on her bottom lip. It was mistreated against the chilled winds of winter and took a flushed red color.

" Michael your offer is truly kind but I've already got plans for the holidays," Lily answered in a soft voice. She didn't want to hurt Michael, but his offer was tempting. Spending the holidays playing Quidditch and exploring the rugged terrain that housed Michael's family home sounded too good to Lily. She had obligations to the world so it would have to be refused for know.

Michael face showed a flash of surprise as he wrung his fingers together in a twisted jangled shape. A shower of large snow hit the courtyard and Lily shook the snow from her shoulders as she braided a lock of her hair. Her braid wasn't as neat as Marlene's French ones or Emmeline's tight buns since Lily preferred leaving her hair in sharp and constricted ponytails.

" Oh, what are you doing for the break?" Michael asked in an emotionally withdrawn voice. Lily tugged the braid out of her hair and rested her chin on her palms.

" I'm staying in Greece. I wanted to check in on Selena and maybe see what's going on with the werewolf situation there," Lily replied. Michael's eyebrows drew tightly together as he spoke.

" Are you going with Kingsmill?" Michael muttered. From his tone Lily immediately knew that he was talking about Galen. She rolled her eyes and crossed her ankles.

" No I haven't actually spoke to Galen in some time. I think he has a mission over break. Selena told me that he visits her dad on weekends sometimes," Lily responded. She could recite the entire last letter Selena wrote to her from memory. It was only three sentences long since her friend was exhausted from tiring preparation for final exams. Lily knew that Selena wanted to be a healer so she had a lot of work ahead of her.

Michael let out a noise of attention before facing the left of the courtyard. Ever since he found out about the hex that was on him, he seemed slightly tuned from the world. Black delivered a note from Potter, in Divination, saying that he was working on it. Lily didn't know if she could trust Black's word though. She was surprised to see that Potter's handwriting looked more like calligraphy than the typical scrawl she expected from most boys.

" Right. That's all I wanted to talk to you about. We should get going, Emmeline and Fabian have a mission tonight," Michael declared. Lily stood and shot him a worried glance, why did he want to come out and discuss this in a private place?

Something seemed off as they exited the courtyard. Michael stopped and Lily tripped over his shoe. He quickly pulled her up and she stumbled into his chest with a nervous laugh. From the snow and cold, her cheeks were stained an unholy red and her hair stood up in chaotic locks.

Michael's hand let go of her and Lily heard a noise come from in front of them. She turned and saw Potter standing outside of a classroom. From the rolled-up condition of his sleeves, Lily assumed that he was serving detention for a prank he and his gang of trolls made during breakfast. The third year Ravenclaws still had shockingly bright pink hair.

His eyes narrowed before sliding over her figure. They paused on her hair and his fists balled up when he saw Michael's proximately to her. Lily met his eyes and saw storms of explosive-fueled anger escaping his irises.

She pulled herself from Michael's grip and turned to face him. Lily opened her mouth to say something to Michael but before she could, a strong arm pulled her into Potter's chest and forced her to turn. Lily's nose hit the third button of his shirt and she titled her head up to stare at Potter's face. Before anger or annoyance could form in Lily's heart, an unsettling comfort fell over her body and she slumped into Potter's arms.

Out of the corner of her eye Lily saw his fingers tighten around the handle of wood wand he drew from his pocket. Michael stood only a few feet into front of them and wore a slightly annoyed stare. Lily met his eyes and saw a flicker of emotion in them.

She let out a noise of protest when Potter's hand clenched around the curve of her hip. His eyes were filled with clouds of anger and the arch of his shadow-lit face was dark.

Potter's arm shot up and his fingers curled into her hair. Lily felt warm callused fingers caress her chin and promptly forced it up. She gulped and felt Potter's grip on her chin tighten.

With flaring nostrils and a dark disposition, Potter narrowed his eyes. Lily could see her reflection in his lens but couldn't seem to stare at it without seeing beams of rage and fury.

He leaned over and pressed his lips against hers. Lily tried to pull herself away but found herself unable to. It was almost as if Potter was air and she needed him to live.

Lily's fingers flew up and knotted into Potter's hair with zeal. Potter's lips molded against hers and a smirk graced his face as they kissed. She joined his lips in a fiery dance and felt a sharp flush land on her face when he ended the kiss. But Potter only shot her a cocky smirk before looking over Lily's shoulder at Michael.

Lily turned and saw the pain warped into Michael's eyes. His fingers were clenched over his wand and his arm shook. The arm around Lily's waist tightened and pulled her into Potter's chest. She could feel his heart pounding but his stance was too casual.

" Wood why do you even bother trying to make me jealous? I've won already. I have the life, the fame, and even without that betrothal I would have Lily. You can try and continue to take my life from me and I honestly wouldn't care. But if you play with Lily's feelings and manipulate her into sympathizing with you, I will kill you. And it will not be a merciful death Michael," Potter vowed.

A wind brushed against the figures and Lily saw that Michael had guilt in his eyes. She chewed on her lip and remembered his almost robotically movements as she tripped over his foot. Lily locked eyes with Michael and saw the apologetic stare in them as he turned to Potter.

" Lily hates you Potter. You've made her life into a living hell for Merlin's sake. It doesn't matter that you've got everything because Lily will never be yours," Michael spat.

Potter's lips pulled into a grim smile as his fingers tightened into her hair. Emotions overwhelmed Lily and she could feel her magic. But for once it wasn't trying to take advantage of her emotional state. Instead it sat in her soul not making an action of protest.

" Wood I've tolerated Lily's little friendship with you since it makes her happy. But know that you do not hold any power in this game," Potter answered.

Lily decided that she had enough of this testosterone-fueled drama. Her body flipped to face Potter instead of Michael in a sloppy movement. His eyes flickered down to meet hers for a second before returning to the lethal stare he gave Michael.

" Potter I honestly don't have the time or energy to deal with this. You promised to help with Michael's hex so did you find anything?" Lily asked. Her voice seemed to have some impact on Potter and Michael's threatening thoughts since they relaxed after she finished her question.

" I've got that under control Lily. According to Mulciber the spell should wear off in another week or so," Potter answered. His hand played with the flimsy edge of Lily's shirt. She brushed it away and pulled herself from his arms.

" Good. Now Michael and I have to go, we've got prefect stuff to do," Lily declared. She turned from Potter and grabbed Michael's hand.

" Evans don't I get a thank you?" Potter drawled. Fury bloomed inside of Lily but she quelled it quickly.

" Potter you don't deserve my gratitude," Lily spat as she and Michael walked from the hallway. Silence surrounded Lily in a bubble as she struggled to regain control of her emotions. Michael's strides shortened so she could walk comfortably with him.

Lily could feel him glancing at her from the corner of her eye. She sighed as they reached the staircase to the Entrance Hall and turned to him.

" Start talking. What in Circe's name was that about?" Lily demanded. Michael shrugged and ran his finger along the silvery texture of his scar.

" You should know by now that Potter and I don't really get along. We went to Charms School together and all my friends were in the year above us. Potter and his gang of gits used to be the darlings of the whole damn school after Gideon and his lot went to Hogwarts. Black and I never really saw eye to eye since my mum was the person who sent his dad to Azkaban the first time," Michael explained.

Lily raised an eyebrow and chewed on her bottom lip. She knew that Orion Black spent at least three one-month trips in the top wizarding prison in the country. It made sense for Michael's mum to send Orion Black to Azkaban. From the stories she heard, Lily was aware that Michael's parents sent over twenty dark wizards to Azkaban for lifelong stays.

" Black's spite transferred to his friends since the Marauders are practically one person. Potter was the ringleader of their group. He was fawned over for every goddamn prank and spell he mastered. Lily don't you see that people seem to love him a bit too much," Michael announced with a slight crazed gleam in his eyes.

" Michael just spit it out," Lily ordered. She placed her hands on the curves of her hip to show the threat of her statement. Michael looked slightly jittery and flustered as he shoved his right hand into Lily's face. She could see olive skin with callused palms from long hours of Quidditch. Sitting on his right hand was a ring. The band seemed to be made from amber and the bezel contained a piece of red wood surrounded by a coating of clear diamond.

She knew it was the Wood family ring. Lily had seen Michael fidget with the ring on several occasions but most of the time it seemed that the ring didn't even exist.

" The Wood family's goal is to bring something to the world and to improve it. The ring works to make us feel an extra sense of guilt for bad actions. It also gives me a slight awareness of the emotions of people around me," Michael explained.

Lily nodded and remembered how guilt seemed to overwhelm Michael too often. He also was too aware of when Lily was upset or lying.

" Did you know that the Potters are the only pureblood family that refuses to disclose the thing that their family ring does to them?" Michael said in a low voice. "I've spoken to Moody and he thinks that isn't a priority since he has a war on his hands. But Lily if Potter's ring has something to do with the reason he is so good at dueling or why people seem to fawn over him then the course of the war could be altered," Michael mused.

Lily leaned back and felt something click. She brushed a lock of her hair back and rubbed her arms with a shiver." You want me to figure that out," Lily said in a factual voice. Michael didn't need to answer her but he was silent. " I'll do it. It's not like I have a lot more things to worry about anyways. Your curse will be gone soon so that takes something off my load," Lily agreed.

Michael looked relieved as he nodded and gestured for them to start walking. Lily nodded and followed him down to the Entrance Hall.

" I'm starving. I hope there's some Yorkshire Pudding in the Great Hall," Michael commented. Lily made a noise of agreement. She could hear laughter echo from the hall. No death eater attacks had brought bad news to Hogwarts in days. It made sense for people to be happy.

* * *

She slipped into the hall and joined Michael in the middle of the Gryffindor table where all of their friends were speaking in soft voice about the plans for the meeting that night. Fabian's arm jostled Lily's shoulder as she sat next to him on the edge of their friends.

" Sorry Evans," he mumbled as he brushed the crumbs from his lap. Lily glanced at him and saw that he was sporting a fading bruise on his jaw. She assumed it was from when Sirius and him brawled at the Vance parents' funeral.

" It's fine Prewett. Just be careful we've got a match in about a week," Lily advised. Fabian took a sip of his pumpkin juice and nodded eagerly.

" Did you make a line up yet? Cause wouldn't it be a hell of a lot more efficient to practice in a set position rather than practicing with everybody playing each other's positions?' Fabian commented.

" We're not going to have a fixed line up for the match. Without the edge of surprise on our side, Potter and Gastor will demolish us. Trevor isn't ready to face Black's beating skills if I'm not the main target. It's either taking Trevor out of the match and me playing seeker or keeping Michael out of the match and me playing chaser. I think that there is one other alternative we could try but that's only if its an emergency," Lily answered.

" Care to share Evans?" Fabian asked in a joking voice. Lily shook her head and let out a laugh.

" There are ears everywhere Prewett. I'd rather not risk my other plan," Lily answered. Their conversation was interrupted by a loud slap from the Ravenclaw table. Lily looked over and saw Marcy Webber stomping from the Great Hall with tears in her eye. Justin Davies stood near the table sporting a rather large bruise.

Emmeline, who was sitting in front of Fabian, frowned. Lily glanced at her friends and saw that Emmeline was leaning in towards Alice. She whispered something into Alice's ear and the honey-haired head girl nodded.

" Mollie Bulstrode was gossiping with her friends in the loo. Apparently Davies and Webber forgot to use a contraceptive charm at the Ravenclaw victory party when they beat Hufflepuff," Emmeline revealed in a low voice.

" It's going to be pretty hard for Webber I'd imagine. Her parents are a part of those low key purebloods that think that purebloods need to repopulate directly after leaving Hogwarts," Gideon commented.

" Well whatever she chooses to do it's going to be rough. We're in the middle of a war. Bringing a child into these circumstances isn't something to take lightly," Adam declared. Emmeline glared at him and cut into her steak harshly.

" Well people are leaping for chances to get married. We're in the middle of a war that sort of changes what is and is not acceptable. You never know when someone could die," Emmeline answered. Lily frowned as Adam's eyebrows furrowed and he stood abruptly.

" I'm in the mood for a fag. Lily care to join me?" Adam suddenly said. Eyes flew to Lily's figure and a blush crawled up her throat. Adam knew that she didn't smoke so why would he offer for her to join him?

" Err sure I guess," Lily mumbled. Emmeline's eyes narrowed and Lily felt the need to take her statement back. But whatever was going on between Adam and Emmeline seemed to be bugging all of them. They kept switching between love struck youths and bitter antagonists. The tension between them was growing for the past month or so. Lily wondered if it had something to do with the recent deaths of Emmeline's parents.

" Adam don't you dare say anything about what I told you," Emmeline suddenly ordered. Lily froze and faced Emmeline Vance. The girl's mess of corkscrew curls looked almost frenzied in the tight bun she constricted them in. Her steel blue eyes shone with anger and Adam McKinnon looked almost scared.

" What you told me is none of your or my business. It was wrong of you to confront Cassius Gastor like that," Adam said coldly. Lily glanced at her friends and saw that they were urging for her to follow Adam. She sighed and shot Emmeline an apologetic look before leaving the Great Hall.

Lily couldn't keep up with Adam's large strides and found herself following the sound of his shoes pounding into the ground. She rounded a corner and found herself in a courtyard near the west wing of the castle. Adam stood in the middle of the snowstorm and struggled to light his cigarette.

Lily shot a bubblehead charm at the cigarette as his fingers fumbled to light it. He looked up with a surprised expression and calmed when he saw her.

" How did you know how to do that? I thought you were clean cut," Adam asked as he brought the cigarette to his lips and took a long drag. Lily shrugged and joined him in the frenzy of the snowstorm.

" I went to Beauxabatons McKinnon. That's like the drug capital of the wizarding world. Pretentious European kids with endless loads of money really do know how to party. I've picked up a few tricks here and there," Lily answered.

Adam nodded and exhaled. Lily noticed how different he was from Marlene. Marlene preferred to release the smoke in a sigh of relaxation. Adam just blew the smoke out as though it frustrated him.

" My mum hates that Lena and I smoke. But we're wizards, there are potions that make all the tar from cigarettes just disintegrate in your lungs. I used to think that she actually cared about us. Then she gave me a pack of wizarding cigarettes and told me that rumors were forming about Marlene and I smoking muggle fags. Turns out she just cared about how we came off to society," Adam said with a cold laugh.

Lily didn't know what to say to him. She and Adam weren't as close as he was to Frank or she was to Marlene or Michael. So why did he want to speak with her of all people?

" What's going on with you and Emmeline? I know that it must be rough for her with her parents' deaths and all," Lily asked. Adam pushed his sleeves up and didn't seem to care for the blizzard around them. Lily pulled her wand out and mumbled the spell for a heat charm.

" I'd never expect Beauxabatons to be a druggy's heaven. What did the students usually do?" Adam asked in a rough voice. Lily frowned and wrapped her arms around her chest. She could faintly remember her fourth year of wizarding education.

" Parties that usually resulted with at least twenty people being sent to the hospital ward. They had the best stuff though. My roommate, Clarabelle Trenton, she knew someone who could get unicorn horn powder," Lily answered in a slightly strained voice.

Adam let out a low whistle and nodded. " That stuff is on the top ten banned substances list for England," he acknowledged. Lily nodded and struggled to prevent herself from reliving old memories. But her efforts didn't work. One memory flew into her mind and she could see the crowds chanting and dancing to the pulsing music. She could feel the frenzy and hectic glow that the darker side of the world gave people.

Lily shook her head and brushed those thoughts away with a shiver. She couldn't face the past when the future was so risky.

" When Emmeline is curious about something she'll do everything possible to figure out the mystery. She gets herself into too much trouble and it's my job to rescue her," Adam finally revealed. He let out a bark of cold laughter and crushed the cigarette under his foot.

" She was the one to figure out that the Prophet was overrun with Purists. She found some hidden code in articles and could do so much for the Order with that. Instead Dumbledore asked her to keep the codes a secret. Emmeline decided that she had to do something useful and now she is going on missions. Lily she can't do this. I'd never be able to live if something happens to her," Adam stated bitterly.

Lily reached out and squeezed his shoulder. She watched as a tear fell from his eye and suddenly Adam McKinnon was clutching her and crying in her shoulder. Lily never expected sturdy leader-like Adam McKinnon to break down crying. But for some reason it made her like him even more.

" She almost died Lily. During the battle at the Ministry the killing curse was about to hit her. I shoved her to the ground and it hit Lucian Gastor, your brother," Adam revealed.

Lily froze and pushed him away. His electric blue eyes met hers with a hint of regret. She took a shuddering breath and narrowed her eyes at him.

" How do you know that? How the hell do you know that I am a pureblood?" Lily demanded. Adam's silent tears faded and he gained some form of composure over himself.

" Emmeline loves a good mystery. She used to be friends with Natasha Goyle. She spent a good amount of time around Cassius Gastor to figure out that something was off about your family. During the wake of Lucian Gastor's funeral she went to use the loo and saw a picture of you in one of your brother's bedrooms. You know Emmeline. It took her seconds to tie everything together. I think it was Pericles who told her everything and she promised to stay quiet. But with the compulsion charms it was only a matter of time for me to find out," Adam explained.

" How long have you known?" Lily ordered. He looked sheepish as he studied the ground with a careful stare.

" Since Emmeline's parents died," Adam answered. Lily nodded and a gust of frozen wind brushed against her skin. Her teeth clatter as she tried to gain some form of control.

" Why did she promise not to tell anyone?" Lily asked in a quiet voice. Adam shrugged and looked to the arch of the courtyard. His shoulders slumped slightly and Lily could hear his breaths.

" I really don't know Lily. But I know that what you are doing is brave. Taking a stance against the people you grew up with takes a lot. You're a lot more than you come off as," Adam said with a crooked smile.

Lily looked up and caught his eye. " What do you mean by that?" she asked. Adam seemed to regain his typical leader-older-brother-like attitude.

" Honestly Frank and I were under the impression that you would end up as one of those muggle nuns or something. You don't date or party. All you do is try to save the world, but Lily the world is already falling apart. We are living in a broom crash in slow motion. All we can do is brace for the impact and hope to survive the collision," Adam mused.

" That's awfully glum of you. You are in the Order of the Phoenix after all," Lily pointed out. Adam grimaced and shook his head.

" I'm not an insurgent Lily. Either outcome of this war won't have much of an effect on my life. I'm fighting because not everybody has the same security that I have. I'll admit sometimes I wonder why I'm even in Gryffindor. Marlene and you lot are brave. I'm just fighting to protect Emmeline and my friends," Adam said in a factual voice.

" But isn't that what we're all doing? Fighting to protect the people we love I mean," Lily clarified.

" I'm not even eighteen Lily. I'll be damned to let this war define my life. I'm fighting because I love Emmeline so bloody much. A life without her is one I can't even imagine. I'm fighting so that when the collision comes, I'll be there to brace her for the impact," Adam summarized.

Lily didn't know that Adam had come to terms with the more likely outcome of the war. She doubted that she would ever be able to do that. Giving up hope but still fighting may work for Adam McKinnon, but for her it just meant that she was one step closer to falling into Potter's arms.

" Thanks for talking to me Lily. We should head inside. It's colder than hell out here," Adam finished. With those words, Lily walked with him to the Gryffindor Common Room knowing that nothing could possibly go wrong with Adam and Emmeline in on her secret.

* * *

A loud thump woke Lily from the start of her nightmare. She gasped for air and blinked at the darkness of the world surrounding her. Her fingers clawed at the wood of her nightstand and grabbed her wand.

" Lumos," Lily muttered. A spot of tinted silver light filled the area surrounding her. Lily pulled her bed curtains to the side and looked around her dorm. She could hear Marlene's softs snores from the bed to her right but Emmeline's bed was empty.

" Lily turn that light off," a voice groaned. She jumped up and turned towards the bathroom. Exiting it was Emmeline Vance. Emmeline's usually pristine bun wasn't present and her hair tumbled down to her ribs in tight curls. Lily noticed that twigs and dirt were scattered in the dark mass of Emmeline's hair. Emmeline's skin looked sheet white and did little to cover the blood staining her cheek.

" Emmeline what happened?" Lily demanded. She stood and pulled herself out of her bed. With a glance at the clock, Lily saw that it was close to three in the morning. Emmeline and Gideon must have returned from their mission.

" Emma Vanity and Dirk Creswell came home for the holidays. Gid and I went with them to check up on the ruins of a muggle forest in Wales that was burned to the ground a few days ago. Turned out to be a small colony of Welsh Greens and a group of stupid death eaters trying to figure out how to ride them," Emmeline answered.

She stumbled and Lily helped her over to her bed. Lily glanced at the nightstand and noticed that Emmeline's nightstand was covered in a stack of books and notebooks. She caught sight of several muggle books she read during her stay in Greece and smiled.

" Mind helping me with this? I don't want to wake Marlene considering the stuff she is going through and you're a lot better at healing charms than I am," Emmeline mumbled.

Lily turned to her friend and noticed that her clothing was slightly singed and smelled of woody fire. Emmeline was clutching a water-soaked towel to her cheek and grimaced. Lily sat next to her and pulled the napkin away.

" Tergeo," Lily said. A glazy sort of blue light floated from her wand over to Emmeline's cheek and cleared the dried blood from her skin. Lily nearly gagged when she saw the large gash adorning Emmeline's cheek. It sliced through her nose and ended at the edge of her chin.

" Are you sure you want me to heal this? Why didn't Emma or Dirk do it? I could wake Marlene," Lily offered. Emmeline shook her head and fresh blood dripped from her cheek to the napkin she held in her hand.

" Emma and Dirk had to go to headquarters and report what happened in Wales to Moody. Gideon is in worse condition than me and it would look too suspicious for both of us to show up at the hospital wing. I thought I could do a healing charm but turns out that I'm only good with throwback jinxes," Emmeline answered.

Lily glanced up from Emmeline's cheek as she brushed some hair from her face. Her friend looked so distraught but it only took Emmeline seconds to plaster a smile on her face.

" I reckoned that Marlene deserves a few more nights of sleep. It's hellish you know. Those first few nights of adjusting to the compulsion charms can be pretty rough," Emmeline mused.

Lily's hand faltered for a second and Emmeline noticed. She pointed at Lily's collarbone and nodded.

" I was right about that. It's not surprising; I'm actually ashamed that I didn't notice sooner. You're practically your mum's clone," Emmeline admitted. Lily looked down and saw that her birthmark was visible from the cut of her V-neck t-shirt. A blush covered her cheeks as she mumbled the spell.

" Suo," Lily managed to say. She watched as Emmeline's cut began to join together and form a bright pink ling. From personal experience, Lily knew that the scar would fade in a few hours.

" Adam told me that you knew about me. Why didn't you tell anyone or say anything?" Lily asked. Emmeline touched her cheek and smiled. Her fingers knotted into the hair close to her neck and began shoving the long curls into a bun.

" I guess because I wish that I could do what you did. Our society isn't something to take pride in. When my mum was dying, people ignored me as though I could get them sick. It was actually your dad who taught me that closing off to the people who care about you takes away that golden hint of life," Emmeline revealed.

Lily's eyes widened and she tried to imagine her dad and Emmeline together. As far as she knew, the only things they had in common were being purebloods. Emmeline glanced at Lily and reached for her hand.

" I'm not mad or upset that you kept this from us. What you're doing is going to catch up with you sooner or later. Well sooner since your brother told me about you and Potter. Might I add that between his hair and your family's hair your children are doomed," Emmeline said with a light laugh.

Lily nodded and looked around Emmeline's bed. Since their dorm had three people instead of the typical five, it had a lot more room for its inhabitants. Emmeline had transfigured several chairs into a set of bookshelves near the side of her bed. Books of all shapes and sizes were crammed into the shelves in random orders. Lily could see notes and pieces of parchment escaping the pages and sitting in between the novels.

Most of Emmeline's belongings were organized and neat but the bookshelves were the one difference in the area. It was nice for Lily to see that even Emmeline Vance had a part of herself that was exploding with chaotic thoughts and ideas.

She and Emmeline weren't particularly close. There were several things that kept the two girls from becoming fast friends. Lily spent time with Marlene and Michael before the older Gryffindors, and even then she was closer with Adam and Gideon than with Emmeline. But as Lily thought about it, she realized that Emmeline Vance was a lot more like her than she thought.

They both had an affinity for books and seemed fond of muggle authors. Lily knew that Emmeline spent more time than she did in the library but Emmeline usually sat near the back close to the older books while Lily preferred sitting near the windows. From Marlene, Lily knew that Emmeline didn't have the closest relationship with her parents and felt as though her brother abandoned her. It seemed that the two had more in common then Lily could have ever thought.

" I do have one question though?" Emmeline suddenly said. Lily blinked and met her eyes in the dimming light of Emmeline's wand. Emmeline's fingers broke into a small familiar movement as though she was reaching for a quill.

" I know we aren't the closest Lily. When I first met you I honestly thought that it would be a waste of time befriending someone who could die so easily. But I've seen you do and say some incredible things for our friends. Adam told me about that night in the Forbidden Forest, you saved him Lily. What made you become Lily Evans instead of being who you were destined to be?" Emmeline questioned.

Lily frowned and curled her legs under her body. She chewed on her bottom lip and tried to find an answer to Emmeline's question but couldn't.

" I don't really know. I've lived a life with enough memories to die. I've seen and done things that defined the choices I made Emmeline. But I doubt that there was one thing that truly made me into myself," Lily replied.

Emmeline didn't seem very satisfied with her answer but didn't press for more. Instead she let out a soft yawn and covered it with her palm.

" Lily just do me one favor, speak to Eliza Rosier will you? If there's anyone who could tell you what the level of the compulsion charms will be like it's Eliza. Marlene probably won't be able to think normally for at least four months after the charms settle in. If there's anyone that will tell you what it's like to be under a compulsion charm for a betrothal with a member of the holy seven it'll be Eliza," Emmeline mumbled.

Guilt filled Lily; this conversation could have waited until the following day or weekend. Emmeline must have been tired from her mission and the time she returned. Lily stood and felt the strange urge to hug Emmeline. But before she could, Emmeline grabbed her and pulled her into a tight embrace. Lily couldn't help but feel something almost nurturing in Emmeline's embrace.

" You've got your mum's hug but your dad's way with words," Emmeline said as they broke apart. Lily raised an eyebrow and wanted to ask her what those words meant, but she saw Emmeline's drowsy eyes.

"We should sleep Emmeline. I've got Divination first thing in the morning tomorrow. I'd rather be awake to hear predictions of my impending death," Lily teased.

Emmeline nodded and plastered a tired grin on her face. She stretched and placed her wand down as Lily grabbed her own.

" Right then. I'll see you in the morning Lily. Try to stay out of trouble, I know you've got a certain pension for it," Emmeline finished. With that note, Lily smiled in the dark and headed for her own bed across the dormitory.

* * *

" After you finish reading the future of your partner using the ashes of a lock of their hair, please start the written part of the assignment," Professor Omina said in a whimsical voice.

Lily stopped twirling a lock of her hair around her finger and paused; there was no way she was letting Black near her hair. A sharp pain rammed into her skull and Lily scowled and turned towards Black. He held several strands of burned red hair in his hand with a smug expression.

" Black I could have cut some for you," Lily growled. He tapped her nose and placed the hair on a stone inflammable tablet.

" There's no fun in life without a little pain Evans," Black answered. Lily narrowed her eyes and proceeded to rip two strands of hair from Black's head. He jumped up and made a noise of surprise. Lily flushed and ignored the glares of the Hufflepuff pair in front of them.

" You're lucky Prongs has directly ordered us not to let anyone touch you," Black muttered. Lily glanced at him as she placed the hair on her slate; why did he keep bringing up Potter?

Black caught her expression and let out a snort. Somehow he managed to make it sound elegant. He pointed his wand towards the metal slate that held a lock of crimson hair on it.

" Incendio," he ordered. A burst of sharp red fire shot from his wand and hit the lock of hair with precision. Lily raised an eyebrow as the hair quickly burned and turned to ash.

Black glanced at his textbook and faced the small mess of ashes with a long stare. A grin broke out across his face and Lily knew something was wrong as he turned to tell her what he saw.

" Apparently you were in a romantic entanglement during the last month. Prongs told me about that snog you shared with him," Black whispered.

Lily couldn't keep the blush from coating her cheeks. Black's eyes glanced at her cheeks and filled with a smug light. Lily swallowed and wrung her hands together as she tried to muster a proper response to Black's question.

" Potter shouldn't tell you so much," Lily muttered bitterly. She crossed her arms and Black frowned. He leaned back and shook his hair out. Lily heard a sigh escape the mouth of Melissa Tenabilt and rolled her eyes. Black wasn't really that gorgeous.

" Evans I know you've been out of country for a few years but James and I are best mates. He's practically my brother. We tell each other everything," Black answered.

" I swear you Marauders sound like girls," Lily snorted. Black simply raised an eyebrow and his eyes glimmered mischievously.

" Come on Evans we both know that the entire reason you started this conversation is so you don't have to ask me to make a fire spell for you," Black revealed.

Lily chewed on her lip and her eyes widened; was she really that readable? Black pulled his wand out and quickly let a fire ignite the hair on Lily's wooden slate. A pang filled Lily's chest at the sight of the fire and she immediately wrapped her arms around her chest trying to keep her magic in.

" Why are you helping me? I thought that seeing me in agony was one of the best things in your life," Lily muttered. Black stared at her before speaking in a low voice.

" Evans we may not get along but I know more than anyone else what it's like to have something you have no control of control you," Black explained. Lily glanced at his family ring and he smiled roughly.

" My family cursed me to feel everything like they are the last thing I will experience. But then they cursed me to wear this ring that is slowly driving me insane. Don't tell me that you haven't noticed it. I'm mentally unstable and it's probably because of all the incest in my family," Black admitted.

" If you hate it so much then why are you a death eater?" Lily asked. Black frowned as if no one had ever asked him this question before.

" Evans you don't know what the pressure of our society is like. We're nothing but birds in golden cages," Black mused. Lily remembered that Black had a way with words. He could be a poet but Sirius Black had enough tragedy without the life of a writer.

" Black there's always a way out. There's always a way to bend the bars," Lily argued. His lips twitched at her speech and the bell rang. Black's eyes didn't look like the chaotic storms that Lily always saw. For a second they looked like the calm eye of a storm.

" But there's no way to survive the flight from the cage without letting go of something," Black replied. He packed his belongings and left with the majority of their class.

Lily started packing but glanced at the ashes of Black's hair. Her eyes widened when she looked at the textbook and saw the form the ashes made translate into the grim.

But Black didn't have to worry about a large black dog taking him to his deathbed, he had a ticking time bomb in his head that would do that just fine.

Lily walked to the Care of Magical Creatures classroom quickly and slipped into her seat next to Lupin. He looked up and met her eyes with a light smile as his fingers twirled around a small figure.

Lily looked around the classroom and saw that most people were working with their partners on their last assignment for the semester. She and Lupin would have to provide an argument either stating that werewolves were beneficial to the wizarding world or if they were detrimental.

" Did you finish that reading on the Wizengamot's take on Belby?" Lily asked. Remus looked up and his pale blue eyes met hers with a nod. Damocles Belby was a potioner working to create a potion that would give werewolves easier transitions and more control of their wolf states. But due to a recent movement installed by a man by the name of Umbridge, whose daughter attended Hogwarts, the Wizengamot was voting to stop funding for Belby's work.

Lily knew that men like her uncle and the Greek werewolves would create disaster and havoc if they got their hands on Belby's finished product. Yet for werewolves like Remus this potion could change their lives for the better.

Remus wrapped his hand around his quill and took a dark expression. " Yes. But I understand Lily. Most people see werewolves as nothing but dust. Even you see me that way," Remus spat.

Lily jumped back in shock from his tone. Hurt traced on her face as she watched Remus twirl his quill between fingers. His body was taut with a dangerous disposition. Unlike Potter, shadows didn't cover Remus's face. They seemed to dance away to give light to the anger and bitter expression he wore.

" Did you really think that I wouldn't find out? This summer I went on a mission for the dark lord. I spent a month with a werewolf pack. It was there I heard of the Lilius family. I heard about how they slaughtered werewolves until they were almost extinct. Children are told nightmares about your family. Then someone dropped your name. I'm not talking about your last name, I mean your first name. Lily Gastor the little prodigy trained to kill wolves. I guess it's ironic that Jason is the one who supports me the most after my transformations. Does he know what you are? Does he know that you're a killer just like him?" Remus hissed.

Lily watched in slow motion as she lost control and the table Remus was leaning on caught on fire. She heard a scream of pain as the flames danced across the room and regained control with one painful shove. Her magic seemed almost taunting as it slithered back into its cage.

A gasp for air escaped Lily's lungs and she looked around. Professor Grubbly-Plank was putting the flames out and several students were helping Edward Lance put a piece of burning wood off his leg. Lily choked back a noise of regret. Edward was a beater for Hufflepuff. But from the mass of burns that coated his leg, it appeared that he wouldn't be playing Quidditch anytime soon.

Her motions turned to automatic precise ones. Lily shoved her belongings into her bag and clenched her wand in between her fingers. Lupin stood behind her with a dazed expression.

" My mother worked to keep my brothers or father from knowing the family trade. I'd prefer if you could keep my legacy from Jason. But your story is wrong Lupin. I've never killed a werewolf or anyone. Someone- I mean something else did all of that," Lily answered.

She fled the scene before the sobs attacked her chest. Lily made it to the Gryffindor Common Room just as she regained some semblance of composure. Fabian and Frank sat by a set of armchairs near the east window while a group of third years did homework near the center of the common room.

Fabian looked up and brushed some of his hair back. His eyes looked around the room with a dazed gleam before landing on Lily's form. He waved her over and Lily walked towards the pair.

She sat on the window seat and faced the two boys. Frank looked up for a mere second before staring back at the paper he was reading. Lily saw that he had two empty coffee cups near his side and seemed to be slightly jittery. His hair was in disarray and his tie wasn't even done properly.

" Longbottom's got his early decision auror applications due by the holidays and he decided to procrastinate them off until now," Fabian explained. He watched Frank with an amused expression before laughing. Frank looked up with a scowl and accidentally slashed some ink onto his cheek.

" Shut up Fabian. I had heads duties and Order missions every single day for the past four months. I don't know when Alice got the time to fill out these forms let alone mail them," Frank grumbled.

Lily remembered briefly a morning conversation with Emmeline a few weeks ago. Apparently Alice did her applications with her parents during the weekend when she had to attend the Parkinson wedding. Lily was thankful that she wouldn't have to worry about applications until next December.

" Ally's got the organization skills of a wedding planner; of course she already did her applications," Fabian snorted. Frank sighed and stretched his fingers out. Lily noticed that Frank looked almost healthier than the people in the common room. He hadn't lost anyone in a long time and kept a disguise of calmness so people could look up to him.

" So Evans what are you doing out of class? I thought you took eight classes," Frank commented. Lily shrugged and placed her bag on the ground. She let the straps sit separately so she could easily grab her belongings if needed.

" Fire in the Care of Magical Creatures classroom. Grubbly-Plank let us out early. I'm sure that she'll give us a twenty inch essay to make up for it," Lily explained. Fabian whistled and flipped through a packet on types of levitation charms.

" That's why I dropped the class. I swear the woman's mad for unicorns and skrewts. Frank do you have the notes on animal transfiguration?" Fabian asked. A packet was thrown in his direction and he grinned.

" Fabian I swear you and Gid are the most nonchalant seventh years in the history of Hogwarts. If you don't get in the Quidditch league then you'll be jobless," Frank muttered.

" Hey I've got an estate to live off of. Besides the Bats, Arrows, and Puddlemere are all looking for beaters and Puddlemere still hasn't filled Julius Gastor's position," Fabian pointed out.

Lily's smile crumpled at the mentioning of her brother. But she quickly took a letter out of her bag and threw it to Fabian.

" Scouts from the Bats and Puddlemere will be at the game against Slytherin. Madame Hooch told me that they're trying to recruit Jason or Potter to take Julius' position. But Puddlemere lost both beaters when those Welsh Greens lit their stadium on fire. I heard that they're still in Mungos for shattered kneecaps," Lily offered.

Frank looked up from his paper with a frown. His legs jostled wildly as he leaned back and stretched his back. Lily could hear the soft cracks of his vertebrae as he shook out his right hand.

" Of course they'll want Gastor. He's the perfect mold to take Julius's spot as golden boy of the wizarding world. But why would they try to recruit Potter? I mean sure he could enter the league but I'm pretty sure that he's made it clear that his life after Hogwarts will be his to make," Frank scoffed.

Lily frowned and placed her chin in her hands as she faced Frank. " What do you mean by that?" she asked. Frank's lips pulled into a twisted smile and Fabian laughed.

" Right you weren't there when Potter broke his usual brooding attitude for the first time. Some members of the Wizengamot tried to get him to take an internship with them but before they could get an answer they were fired by Potter's dad," Frank said.

" So Potter doesn't want to work with the Ministry or his dad didn't want him to, that still isn't enough to back your claim," Lily answered. Fabian leaned forward with a sly grin on his face.

" He also got some dirt on this Healer at Mungos when they tried recruiting him. The only reason Moody won't go near Potter is because Potter's made it clear where he lies in his take on the war and that is literally no where. People know that he is a death eater but if you ask him to his face he'll probably hex you. Potter is one of the most indecisive and secretive blokes in the wizarding world," Fabian revealed.

Lily curled a lock of her hair around her finger and mulled Fabian's statement over. Her and Potter's conversations ranged from bitter words to threats so there wasn't much time to talk about their future. Lily always imagined that he would end up working in the Wizengamot or playing Quidditch. She was so clear on her future and Potter was as vague as possible.

" Done!" Frank announced with a child-like grin. Lily blinked and turned to face him with a smile of her own.

" Could you help me with some Herbology homework?" she asked. Frank turned to her with a carefree expression and leaned forward nodding. For once it seemed that things with Frank Longbottom were looking up for Lily.

After a long Quidditch Practice in flurries, Lily ate a hearty breakfast before attending the Order meeting with her mates. Dumbledore was still silent and not much news was being brought in from outside of England. The only bright note was that Molly Weasley's twins were due in April.

* * *

Lily woke to the sound of a scream on Saturday morning. Her body was sore from a mission gone wrong the night before. To Lily's embarrassment, Moody vowed to never let her deal with nixies again. It wasn't her fault that female pixies didn't take to women while around their mates.

Her knees cracked as she sat up and looked around the dorm to see where the sound came from. Marlene stood by the window with a pale complexion. Lily shot up when she saw blood leaking from the window still. Her feet stumbled over each other as she approached Marlene.

Relief filled Lily when she saw that the blood wasn't coming from her friend. No it was coming from the mass of red feathers laying against the stone of the window. A scream broke out of Lily's mouth as she stared at the body of her owl.

" Lily she's dead," Marlene said in a low voice. Lily ignored her friend and shoved past her. No Hestia couldn't be dead. Hestia her god-awfully stubborn owl that demanded attention couldn't be dead. The diva of an avian that Lily knew since she was nine could not be dead.

" Hestia oh Circe. No you can't be dead," Lily sobbed. Marlene pulled her back from the owl's dead body and Lily shoved her away. She stood in front of Hestia's dead body with trembling lips. Lily barely noticed the letter tucked into the strap on Hestia's leg.

Her fingers curled around the letter and she moved from Marlene and the dead carcass with quick movement. Hestia hadn't been sent anywhere to collect mail so someone must have summoned her. Lily filled with rage for whoever dared to do this to her owl.

Lily slipped into a cloak and shoved a pair of muggle sneakers on carelessly. She didn't care for the tears struggling to escape her eyes or the blood on her hands. Hestia was dead. The last gift from her mum was gone. Lily choked on air as she made her way down the stairs.

She crushed the letter in her hands and noticed that sunlight was streaming into the room. It wasn't fair that Hestia was gone and the world could be so bright. Her flying ball of red that always gave her hope was gone.

Her feet hit the pavement of the castle floor with rough steps. Lily wanted to scream and give into her magic but she couldn't. It sat in her chest waiting, fully aware that it was so close to taking control. So why wasn't it doing so?

All of these questions were ripping Lily apart. Her fingers pulled the letter open with cruel motions and she recognized the handwriting with disbelief. Lily dropped the letter before she could even read it and felt her heart nearly stop.

No this was impossible. Her body shook and Lily slowly kneeled to the ground. She closed her eyes and that was enough. Images that haunted her for half a year returned.

She could see the smoke and the blood on Michael's ripped torso. She could feel the agony and every single moment of hell. It was back after so long. Lily could see that twisted smile and she stared into the wall of Hogwarts with a silent sob.

Her fingers clawed at the ground for the letter and she ripped it open from the severe folds.

_Dear Lily,_

_I know that I won't be with you for Christmas this year. When my dad got the letter from your dad requesting for you to be sent to England by your sixteenth birthday I knew that things were going to change. So I set up this automated letter and charmed Hestia to collect it from France. I don't know if we are still friends or if the distance was too much. I can't imagine what your life must be like. You probably know about your betrothal. I'm sorry that you're stuck with a ponce like Potter. There's not much for me to say Lily. You were never supposed to be my friend and I'm thankful for the time we had together._

_You know about the Whitewood curse right? I think it's starting to happen. I can feel myself turning more and more demonic by the day. I don't know what I'll be like by the time you get this letter. I can feel this evil growing in my chest Lily. I wonder if this is how you feel about your magic. How did you fight for so long? All I want to do is give up. I'm not a fighter like you Lily. I'm scared but I can't tell my dad. He has too much to worry about. Don't come back to France Lily. I don't want you to see what I've become._

_The war is growing and soon things will end in England. Jason has informed me that Voldemort has been recruiting from younger ages due to the success in Potter's status. Lily if they try to recruit you go straight to Dumbledore. He'll help you. I've been in contact with him. He says that he can help me but I doubt it. I'm hopeless and doomed to this destiny._

_You're not doomed to a life with Potter Lily. I've been doing some research and I think that I've found an alternative to accepting the compulsion charms. Think of it as my Christmas present. If you find a way to utilize this I believe that you can have a lifetime of Christmases without Potter. I swore to myself that I wouldn't let you back into the cage that the Pureblood Society of England is and this is my way of keeping that promise. It's too dangerous to write. Remember Abilene Lestrange from school? She was your roommate and in our house. I've trusted her with a secret since she has one of her own. Find her Lily- she's the answer to your salvation._

_I already miss you. When I was a kid your mum told me something that I've never forgotten. We're doomed to the destiny that we choose but that doesn't mean that we only have one destiny. You're not going to choose me. There are brighter stars in your sky and I'm happy to let you follow them instead of me. Besides I'll probably be a bloodthirsty killing machine by the time you read this._

_Don't let the world choose your destiny Lily. You can fight for the one you want._

_Love, Benjy Auclair your favorite Frenchman_

Her anxiety and panic attack faded so numbness could set in. Lily let her blood-covered fingers trace the signature-curved letters Benjy Auclair used. It felt like her mouth was filled with cotton balls.

She faintly recalled the Whitewood curse. Several centuries ago a boy in the family sexually harassed the granddaughter of a particularly powerful veela. The Veela had enough magic blood to curse the bloodline of the boy. His male descendants would be cursed to take demonic tendencies if they sinned to an extreme degree. Sinning was such a muggle ordeal but the Whitewood family started to fear it when the boy's son turned into a mentally unstable murderer.

With their fear of wrongdoing the Whitewoods turned into one of the top choices for judicial power. But they were still cursed and the apple of Eden was too tempting.

It made sense. Things that ripped Lily's life apart clicked and sewed the broken pieces of her memories back together. Benjy Auclair never dared to hurt anyone when they were younger. Guilt choked Lily's mind when she remembered when all of this started.

It was her fault. Lily moaned and crumpled the letter into a ball. She gave her magic one gasp of freedom and the paper caught on fire. The flames twirled in the morning light and Lily ended up with a hand of ashes.

She was the reason Benjy started to drink. She was the reason he assisted in the death of one of their classmates that horrible summer. The reason he joined the death eaters was because she started all of this.

If Lily hadn't gotten news of Lucian's Coming of Age ball from a girl in her Charms class who read the English Pureblood Tabloids, then Lily would have never made Benjy attend that party. That stupid party where Lily just had to have her first taste of the darker side of the world.

" Evans are you alright?" a voice asked. Lily blinked sharply and looked up. The concerned face of Amos Diggory met hers. Lily managed to plaster weak smile on her face as she stood.

" Fine. My sister is getting married without a dad to walk her down the aisle or a mum to cry in the rows and she refuses to invite me," Lily answered. Diggory nodded and placed a hand on Lily's shoulder. He squeezed it in a comforting motion and gave Lily a comforting smile.

" You know it's okay to show weakness sometimes. I know that you always try to help our classmates but it's okay to ask for help," Diggory informed. Lily nodded and brushed her tears away. She couldn't take Diggory's advice. Lily would live no matter the outcome of the war. She could face her own issues then. But some of her classmates may not make it from the flames of the war.

" Thanks Amos I'll try to keep that in mind. Were you on your way to the Great Hall?' Lily asked. He nodded and the two walked to the Hall with a quiet air surrounding them.

Lily parted ways with Amos Diggory with a tight smile and joined her friends at the Gryffindor table. Marlene and Emmeline were already down there and caught her eye with a sympathetic stare. Lily squeezed in between Marlene and Adam with a quick movement. Marlene placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

" Emmeline helped me put Hestia in a box for you. I'm sorry Lily," Marlene said in a low voice. Lily's fake smile nearly fell off her face but she quickly recovered.

" She's been my only constant since I left England Marlene. I doubt that I'd ever be able to get another owl," Lily sighed. Her friends were unaware of her predicament due to an argument about a charms essay but Lily would prefer to keep her breakdown a secret.

" You can use Arrow until then. I'm sure that you have more people to write to than I do. Just let me warn you, Arrow has a tendency to bite people when not given food," Marlene said.

" Thanks Marlee but I think I'll borrow one of the school owls. I don't know if Arrow can survive the journey to Greece," Lily sighed. That brought up the sharp question of what happened to Hestia. From the flashes of the painful memory of that morning, Lily could diagnosis the slicing charms. Someone wanted Hestia to not make that journey. Someone didn't want Lily to find out how to prevent the compulsion charms or Benjy's secret.

Either way, Lily knew that her next actions would have to be careful. She knew that she had to make a trip to France soon and Lily didn't know if she was ready to face those memories yet.

She remembered Abilene Lestrange briefly from her days at Beauxbatons. Abilene arrived at the start of Lily's fifth year and had an air of a confundus charm around her that always made Lily feel slightly suspicious. But she never raised an eyebrow when she discovered that there was another Gastor. Abilene was quiet and as far as Lily knew never said a single word to Benjy in her entire life.

Lily remembered that Abilene was famous for her paintings though. Abilene told most people that her parents sent her to France to learn French techniques of art but Lily always had her doubts.

" Marlene did you ever know a girl named Abilene Lestrange?" Lily whispered. Marlene's face puckered up in disgust as she swallowed the last of her toast.

" Michael fancied her. She was a Slytherin so it was shocking for me to find out that he had a not so secret relationship with her during the summer. She never came to school after that summer and Michael never speaks of her. He did once drunkenly reveal that her parents found out about them and were forced to break off her betrothal for unknown reasons," Marlene said in a revolted voice.

Lily frowned and thought over what things could break a betrothal without the unbreakable vow killing those involved. The options were limited and didn't fit the situation so Lily passed it off as a fake betrothal that some purebloods made to prevent deaths.

* * *

After breakfast Lily had a mandatory Quidditch practice that ended with Trevor and Frank being sent to the Hospital Wing when they crashed in the snow. After showering and bidding her friends goodbye, Lily remained at the pitch and barely tolerated the icy Scottish air.

She shivered as she let her fingers roam over the surface of her broom. It was almost a year old and took a lot during the course of the past year. Lily smiled as she felt the puckered area where Davies shoved her into the stands. That event left an indent on her broom's handle that she had grown rather fond of.

" Red are you spying on our practice?" a familiar voice asked. Lily looked up and felt the breeze tangle some of her wet hair. Her eyes met the aristocratically perfect nose of Sirius Black and Lily's fingers clenched over her broom.

" Red? That's not the most original name Black," Lily pointed out. He leaned forward and his perfect smile glinted in the light of the sun.

" Black and Red. See the thing about you marrying my best mate is that it's like you're marrying the Marauders. We're a packaged deal Red," Black answered.

Lily wrinkled her nose and tapped her fingers against the thin wood of her broom. " Did you just say that I'm going to marry my brother?" Lily asked dryly. Black had the decency to not laugh.

" You're a real riot Red. I'm almost looking forward to March," Sirius commented with a grin. Lily froze and narrowed her eyes. Black was a murdering psychopath she wasn't supposed to even speak to him.

" Padfoot who the hell are you talking to?" A voice shouted. Lily didn't have enough time to run for the stairs when she saw the mop of chaotic black hair flying towards her and Black. If she acted fast enough, Lily would barely have enough time to dive under the bench.

But Potter arrived before she could make up her mind. His eyes caught hers and he relaxed. Lily noticed that his eyes scanned her figure quickly before he leaned forward with a smirk on his face.

" Evans you do know that it's against rules to watch a team practice if the captain requests for privacy?" Potter drawled. Lily stood up and clenched the wood of her broom in her hand.

" Like I told Black I was just leaving," Lily answered coldly. After Hestia's death she wasn't in the mood to face Potter and his sly remarks. Black looked from her to Potter with a confused expression. A dark look settled on Potter's expression and Black shrugged.

As Lily turned to leave she could hear Potter's hand hit Black's head as he muttered something. She didn't even have enough time to wonder what was going on.

After working on homework with Michael and Marlene and having dinner with the other Gryffindors, Lily joined Alice on a mission with Galen. She shivered as they crouched in front of Malfoy Manor. Moody wanted to see where potential death eater meetings could be held so he split the 72 people in the order into teams of three to scope out pureblood manors, townhouses, country estates, Knockturn alley, and Hogsmeade for death eater gatherings.

During the meeting, Lily was surprised to see Eliza Rosier sitting next to Dedalus Diggle and Caradoc Dearborn. Her friends were right; she did join the Order. She hardly recognized her too. Eliza cut her long straight fairy-blonde hair to her chin. Her eyes looked different too. The elegant whimsical gleam they once held was completely gone. In its place was nothing more than a steel stare.

Lily wanted to talk to her. But she was nothing more than the muggleborn fifth year Gryffindor Prefect in Eliza's eyes. Eliza did glance at her with her lovely blue eyes and a flicker of recognition resided in them. Lily couldn't risk anymore people knowing her secret.

" This is ridiculous why can't Moody ask Snape or Pettigrew where the death eaters have been meeting?" Alice demanded. Like Lily, she hadn't expected a mission outside in the middle of a light snow storm. Her fingers clenched the material of her jumper and she rocked forward on her heels.

" Because they switch location like we do. According to Snape the headquarter changes every two weeks and every person who knows is kept under the unbreakable vow to prevent them from blabbering," Galen explained. Lily smiled at his calm tone as he kept down the eye-enhancing glass he was holding.

The glass was one of the magical pieces given to top ranked aurors. It didn't surprise Lily that during the past five months Galen managed to climb ranks in the auror department. His work in Greece against Dementors and Werewolves was renowned to international extents.

Lily blinked sharply against the night vision spell Andromeda placed on her. She wasn't used to everything standing out against the darkness of night and the spell made her eyes water.

" Marlene asked Moody to do her obliviation spells on Friday night. She thinks that she'll be able to play in the game on Saturday," Alice whispered. Lily nodded. Emmeline was Marlene's best source for information on the compulsion charms and Alice was Emmeline's best friend so she knew more than Lily did on Marlene's qualms.

Lily wondered if her reluctance to comfort Marlene came from her own fears. It killed her to see Marlene's freedom slowly tick away since her time was running up. She was supposed to avoid Potter until March but all Lily managed to do was grow closer to the strange Slytherin.

" Hear that? Looks like the Malfoys are expecting some company," Galen muttered. Lily looked up and saw a group of men filing into the Manor's open doors. From her position behind a tree sitting near the entrance of the manor, Lily could recognize the cold sound of Orion Black's voice as he greeted someone at the door.

" Should I Patronus the Order?' Alice asked. Galen shook his head and his fingers danced over the surface of the tree. A gust of wind blew in the air and Lily's teeth clattered.

" No not yet. We need to list the people attending this little meeting before starting a battle," Galen ordered. Lily pulled out a piece of parchment Moody gave them and began to write down the names Galen listed.

Her muggle pen stopped when Galen said Remus Lupin. The three other Marauders followed it. Alice let out a low whistle and bounced on her heels.

" Looks like there's a big gathering. At least twenty pureblood men have entered the manor. This must be Voldemort's inner circle," Alice said. Lily nodded and passed the paper to Alice so she could write the rest.

" I'm going to get a closer look at what they're wearing guys. If they're wearing robes they're probably going to have a meeting and not missions," Lily said. Galen warned her before she trekked through the snow-covered ground. Lily snuck towards the side of the manor and made her way to the backside of the manor. She heard voices laughing and frowned. The window was on higher ground.

After slipping and getting several cuts, Lily managed to climb to the lowest branch of a nearby tree. She could see Alice and Galen due to the spell behind her. They were still looking at the front of the manor meaning that more people were still coming.

Lily crawled across the branch and peered into the window. She looked down and saw about twenty men sitting around a gray table. The metal material brought out long defined shadows in their faces. Lily could see Voldemort sitting in the seat facing her. His red eyes looked around the room with a bored stare before the room silenced.

" Since Dumbledore has left progress has taken a rapid speed. I'm expecting a full-scale takeover by August hopefully. The Ministry is still swaying and due to the efforts of a few stubborn aurors some missions have been compromised. Crabbe please tell the group who ruined 17 missions since his arrival in England?" Voldemort hissed.

A stout man stood and with beady eyes faced the group. " Galen Kingsmill my lord," he answered in a short clipped voice. Voldemort nodded and looked around the room. His eyes almost relaxed when he settled on one face and Lily craned her neck to see who it was.

" Jason your mother was quite close with the Kingsmill family. I believe young Galen is of pureblood from the Greek societies. According to your brother his sister has proven useful in expanding the Gastor family," Voldemort mused. A few men commented on this and Lily scowled.

" My son wrote to me in November. He said that Mr. Kingsmill was often seen with a muggleborn. Some redhead Gryffindor from his words," Orion Black offered. Lily froze as Potter leaned forward from his seat. The shadows brushed off his face and Voldemort looked positively thrilled that Potter sat up.

" James do you have anything to say?" Voldemort asked. A few older men turned to Potter. Lily quickly noted that Jason and Potter were easily the youngest men in the room. About twenty sat around the tables and most were the leading males of families in the sacred 28. Lily assumed that Black and Lupin were somewhere else in the manor.

" Lily get back here," someone shouted. Lily turned and saw Alice standing near the tree with an enraged expression. Her heart pounded against her chest as she took one last glance into the room. Potter's lips were pulled into a smug grin and loud laughter filled the air. Whatever he said must have pleased the purists.

With a sloppy crawl, Lily jumped from the tree's trunk to the ground. Her hands pressed against the cold snow but she couldn't even feel it. Something inside of her wanted to know what Potter said more than protecting the mission and that scared the hell out of her.

* * *

" Here let me," Emmeline said. Lily nodded and handed the box to her. Emmeline's long ink-covered fingers were encased in a pair of thin gloves. Lily wryly noticed that the color clashed with Emmeline's dark blue cloak and black boots. It was strange to see Emmeline Vance in a pair of brilliant orange gloves. Lily always thought that Emmeline preferred rich vibrant colors not ones filled with sunny days.

Most of Gryffindor Tower was still asleep. Their friends were sleeping off a series of missions from the previous night. Alice hadn't even returned from the Order's headquarters yet. She was with Galen filling Moody and several of the Order's makeshift leaders in on what they saw.

Lily was excused from doing so on the accounts that Malfoy was already suspicious of her. When she returned to her dorm, Lily's head hit her pillow and she didn't even notice the box sitting on her bedside table. It was only when Lily woke from an especially bad nightmare that she noticed Hestia's coffin.

When she changed into a pair of warm boots and a warm cloak and moved to the door with the box clutched in her hands, Emmeline Vance stood in the doorway with red eyes. It was a silent affair of Emmeline agreeing to join Lily on this final gesture.

" My mum got me Hest. Julius took all of my brothers to get their owls but I wasn't allowed into society yet so my mum snuck me Hestia from Diagon Alley. She was the last thing my mum gave me before I went to Greece," Lily revealed.

Emmeline looked up from the small hole she dug. They were standing on the edge of the Forbidden Forest near the west wing of the castle. Sunlight peaked over the Scottish Mountains that once brought Lily so much joy. Now she felt like they were choking the sky.

" Rick got me my first owl. His name was Milton. He died since I kept sending him to the States hoping that Rick would write back to me. I never showed my owl a percentage of the love you have for Hestia. So when Milton died in my fifth year, Adam got me Bennet for my birthday. I think that I'm more of a cat person and it's funny that Adam realized that before I did. Lily I swear to Merlin you're going to find someone who will know things about you before you do," Emmeline vowed.

She stood up and walked over to Lily. It seemed almost contrasting how different the girls were. Emmeline with her alabaster skin and Lily with her creamy skin; one looked like a snowflake and the other could create a storm of inferno. Emmeline with her dark curls and Lily with her vibrant locks; looking like a storm and a gust of wind.

But as Emmeline wrapped her dancer-like arms around Lily and pulled her in for a tight embrace, Lily felt like she could let everything out. Emmeline Vance the girl who smelled of old parchment and daisies could be the person that made Voldemort feel comforted.

" Emma she was from my mum. My mum gave me up so I could be free. My mum who knew that she would probably never see me again sent me off to adulthood too soon. I've hated her and loved her but Hestia was the last thing she ever gave me. Do you want to know what she told me as she handed me Hestia's cage? She said that this brilliant red owl's name was Hestia because no matter how far apart we were she would always be with me. But Hestia's gone Emma. She's gone and my mum is dead. My savior, my godparents, my maternal family, my piano teacher who might as well have been my mum, my brothers, Benjy Fenwick, and even my parents they're all gone," Lily sobbed.

She could feel acidic tears leak from her eyes and fall onto Emmeline's cloak. But the tall girl never stopped holding Lily. A choked horrible sound broke from Lily's mouth and she could feel the world spiraling from her grasp. Emmeline pulled something from her pocket and pulled Lily's face up. Lily could feel Emmeline dabbing her tears away and brushing her hair back.

" Lily I could tell you that she is still with you but I really don't know where anybody who dies is. After my fourth year I got close with your mum and let me tell you that you've got her inside of you. There's this saying that people pick up little things from the people they spend their time around. You didn't need to be around your mum to be like her. You've got her confident stance and the way she felt the need to make everybody feel safe. But the difference between the two of you is that you don't need to make the same mistakes she did. You have the chance to not die like a tragedy. Lily you're killing yourself. You need to stop suppressing everything and let it out. It's been a lifetime Lily, I think you owe it to yourself to feel again," Emmeline said.

She handed Lily the handkerchief and Lily's slim fingers picked it up and blew her bright red nose into the cloth. She wasn't someone who could look beautifully tragic while crying. Her body shook as if it was being engulfed by a dark storm. Her nose and cheeks were stained a bright red and veins surrounded her irises. Tears didn't fall in straight paths down her cheeks. No they filled the purple crevices beneath her eyelashes and trickled down like some unholy waterfall to the snow-covered ground.

" Emmeline the air is killing us. This war has become a disease and with every breath we take it will surely be the death of me," Lily said in a cracking voice. Emmeline's eyes widened and she stumbled back. It took a lot to make someone who had so much control over her emotions break like Emmeline Vance.

" Your mum said the same exact thing to me last summer," Emmeline murmured. Lily blushed and realized that she picked up the saying from her mum's journal.

" I'm told that I'm a lot like her," Lily said in a gruff voice. Flurries brushed against her hair and made it dance in the morning air. The sun rose in the sky like a beacon of light. It wasn't a new hope; it was a sign to feel again.

Emmeline's lips pulled into a grin and she moved to place the box in the hole she dug. But Lily stopped her with a quick shake of her head. With trembling fingers Lily pulled her wand from her pocket. The instrument never looked so pure.

" Incendio," she said in a commanding voice. She was in control maybe for one of the last times in her life. A burst of magic flooded from her chest and raced into her wand as though it was apart of her body.

Flames danced through the air as they sprinted for the box. Lily could see the flames in Emmeline's eyes as they watched the box burn into ashes.

" Thank you for staying with me Hestia. I'll never forget you and I'll never go a day without looking into the sky in search for a ball of fiery feathers. But eventually I'll be okay," Lily said. Her voice was a brittle cracked sort of sound. But it was one she could be proud of.

A gust of wind brushed the last tear from Lily's face with something life a kiss. It took the ashes of Hestia's body with it. The sun rose bringing a new day but it felt a lot more like a new year.

" Michael said you had plans for Christmas," Emmeline announced. The two sat in the Great Hall too early in the morning. After showering and changing quietly so they wouldn't wake Marlene up, Emmeline forced Lily to go with her down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

* * *

Upperclassmen spent the previous night at a Hufflepuff party and underclassmen were enjoying the chance to sleep in. Sunlight streamed through the windows and brought brightness to the nearly empty hall. When Lily entered the hall she could only see Professor Flitwick and Sprout at the front table. A handful of students sat at each table.

Lily heard laughter from the end of the Gryffindor table. A group of second years including Nymphadora Tonks were reading some magazine Tommy Lovegood's older cousin edited. Lily knew that it was a rising magazine chain that most people assumed the reporters were high while they wrote. Why would Millicent Bagnold be a part-time cross-dressing member of the muggle band_The Sex Pistols_?

" I'm going to miss these scones so much," Emmeline sighed. Lily looked over to Emmeline's plate and saw a tower of cinnamon scones on it. Her friend was nibbling on one with a sigh of content. Lily wondered how Emmeline could stay so thin while eating so much.

" Right you're graduating this year," Lily said as she tightened her braid. Emmeline nodded and swallowed her mouthful. Her hands worked to assemble a cup of coffee as she spoke.

" What will you lot do next year? It'll be just you Marlene and Michael. Oh Merlin you're all going to have your own dorms," Emmeline exclaimed. Lily frowned and realized that Michael would have his own dorm but she and Marlene could share one.

" Emmeline Marlene and I will still share a dorm," Lily pointed out. Emmeline looked up from her coffee with an incredulous expression.

" If they don't make you head girl then I will personally hex every member of the governors. Lily you don't break most rules, you do all your work, you're in eight classes, you take extra patrols and actually do them, you spend time with younger students and help them, and for Merlin's sake I've never met anyone better suited for the title," Emmeline snorted.

" Emmeline I sneak out of Hogwarts every weekend and am barely making through my work load. I only help students because no one else will. I spend night not sleeping and doing my homework. That's not the best role model for younger students," Lily said truthfully.

Emmeline didn't speak for a moment. Instead she took a sip of her coffee and pulled her sleeves up.

" Keep telling yourself that Lily. But next summer a letter will arrive for you and there will be a head girl badge in the envelope," Emmeline vowed. Lily rolled her eyes and ignored her friend's statement. But no matter how ridiculous she thought the idea was, it wouldn't stop the future from happening.

* * *

" Mr. Belby please escort Miss Webber to the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey should have something to treat a blood sucker's bite," Professor Sprout said with a shrug. Lily immediately distanced herself from the snarling plant she and Jason were supposed to be sprucing.

" You know Cassius has a whole set of scars from this time he fell into a bush of bloodsuckers," Jason revealed under his breath. Lily's lip tugged up as she cut another leaf from the plant.

" How'd he manage to do that?" she asked. Jason's smirk nearly slipped off his face but he answered her anyways.

" Trying to impress Natasha by standing on a broom while it was flying. Mum threatened to confiscate his broom and dad told him that Natasha would surely take care of him," Jason responded with a laugh in his voice.

" Well did it work?" Lily asked. Jason's cheeky grin was enough for her to know it did. He ran a hand through his mangled curls and leaned over the plant to turn it.

" So we're hosting the Christmas ball this year," Jason admitted. Lily nodded, as she already knew that. A pit settled in her gut; she knew what Jason was asking for in that one sentence.

The florescent lights above their heads flickered as Lily turned to face him. A streak of dirt coated his cheek and made him look like the wild-eyed boy from her childhood. But the Jason in front of her was different from the one she grew up with.

" No you're hosting it Jason. I'm going to be in Greece in a week," Lily answered firmly. A crack broke through Jason Gastor's usually bright and sunny form. Something dark filled his eyes.

" That's only if Gryffindor wins the Quidditch game and there's no way you lot can win without Marlene playing," Jason answered. Lily frowned and leaned forward to meet his eyes.

" She said she could play," Lily clarified. A twisted grin landed on Jason's face and he chuckled.

" That will change the second it's midnight on Saturday morning. Sirius won't be able to control the charms for the game. It's either take her out or have her fall five hundred feet because she can't think about anything besides Sirius. James is aware of that flower. He set up a lineup without Sirius playing I'd advise you do the same with McKinnon," Jason suggested.

Lily narrowed her eyes. She trusted Marlene to know whether or not to be able to play on Saturday. Jason's attitude seemed a little to dark for her liking.

" I know my friends well enough to see if they can play or not," Lily answered stiffly. Jason merely crossed his arms and met her eyes with an arrogant stare.

" But you don't know your teammates well enough to be the judge of that. Look I'm trying to help you Lily. Being around James for two weeks won't do you any good. He's a charmer and as much as he is my brother you are my sister. I don't want to see you stuck between sticking to this plan or him," Jason sighed.

He turned and looked over to where Potter and Lupin sat. Lily watched as a grin broke across Potter's face as Lupin told him something. It didn't make sense for Potter to be able to smile when people were dying across the world.

" Remus told me about your fight. I don't know what you did in your past Lily but I think I'm owed an answer," Jason said. Lily narrowed her eyes and slipped her wand into her pocket.

" Two people," Lily answered. She could see her uncle's eyes dimming as he was engulfed in flames and Benjy's body thrown into a tree. Jason frowned and met her eyes with a question.

" I've killed two people Jason. Benjy Auclair and our Uncle Lyall Gladstone both died because I ended their lives. Remus thinks that I joined our grandparents on werewolf hunts. I was twelve for Circe's sake; I couldn't kill. So they knew that I was the runt of the litter and made plans to ship me back home. But our grandparents died before they could do that so mum and dad sent me to France. Don't you see? I've kept secrets because the truth is so much worse," Lily spat.

" But when no one but you knows the truth is it even true?" Jason asked. Lily wrinkled her nose and turned from him. She picked up the leafs that she cut from the bloodsucker and dumped them into the trash can beneath their desk.

" Even the best liars can't change the truth," Lily sighed. Jason glanced at her and stretched his arms out.

" You give bits and pieces of the truth to different people. Lily honestly do you think that all of those people will be able to put the truth together?" Jason asked. Lily pursed her lips and pulled her bag onto her shoulder. The bell rang and students began cleaning up in a disorderly function.

" That's the point Gastor. It's impossible for all of you to piece the truth together if half of you hate each other and the other half are unaware that some pieces exist," Lily finished.

As Lily walked with Marlene from the greenhouse she could feel Jason watching them. But his eyes weren't on Marlene's back they were on hers.

" Gideon, Michael, you, and I don't have missions tonight. I've got one on Thursday and on Friday Moody is going to erase my memory. I want to remember something good. I know you don't drink but Michael thinks that we should be able to sneak into this private party at the Three Broomsticks tonight. Please come," Marlene asked.

Lily chewed on her bottom lip. It would be risky but not as risky as some of the things she had done for Order missions. Marlene was right; they were young. It was about time that they started acting their age instead of fighting a war adults created.

" Of course I'll come," Lily declared after a few seconds. Marlene whooped and grinned wildly. Lily wondered if Marlene's true smiles were a limited source.

" You won't regret this Lily I promise," Marlene announced with a free smile. Lily let out a laugh and felt Marlene tug on her ponytail as they walked to the castle. The air was cold but crisp. It was perfect running weather.

" I'll see you after History of Magic. Go and do your homework Marlee. I know that you still have that Transfiguration essay to do,' Lily ordered. Marlene pulled the hairband from Lily's hair and blood-colored locks fell around Lily's shoulder and down to her ribs.

" Live a little Lily," Marlene ordered with a mockingly stern voice. Lily rolled her eyes and watched as Marlene walked away. She wondered if Marlene would actually do the essay or plan their outfits for tonight. But Lily didn't care either way. Marlene deserved the happiness she was going to get for the next few days.

The portraits on the walls of the castle were alive as Lily walked to History of Magic. She skirted around a group of fourth years and waved to one of the Hufflepuffs she tutored. A sixth year Ravenclaw, who happened to be Justin Davies' best friend, bumped Lily's shoulder as a greeting.

" Evans," Grant Edgecombe greeted. Lily looked up to meet the gangly Ravenclaw's eyes. Grant was one of the few students who took History of Magic and happened to be in her class.

" Edgecombe," Lily said with a nod. His lips pulled into a smile of sorts. Grant was a notoriously jealous boyfriend and often drunkenly started fights during parties. His crooked nose only attributed to this.

" I made a bet for five galleons that Gryffindor is going to win. I hope you've got a good line up," Grant advised. His long strides slowed so Lily could keep up with him. She raised an eyebrow and brushed a lock of her hair out of her face.

" Well my lineup did beat yours when we were missing most of our key players," Lily answered wryly. Grant let a whistle out of his mouth and winced.

" Blunt and bold eh Evans? That's not what I'm talking about though. Apparently Potter has trained his team so they can play three out of the four positions on the team. He could change his team at any point. I think he took a leaf out of your chasing switch," Grant revealed.

Lily's mouth tore into a grimace before she plastered a reassuring smile on her face. Maybe she was more like Jason than she thought before. " Don't worry Edgecombe. I'm more than sure that my team will be able to handle Slytherin. Besides we've got two players being scouted by the Arrows and Puddlemere. You're not going to lose your money Edgecombe," Lily assured as they walked into the classroom.

Grant nodded and leaned towards her. " Just watch out for Black, not the older one. I mean the younger one. There's a reason he'll be captain when Potter graduates," Grant advised.

Lily's lips were still torn into a confused expression as she sat in the middle of the back row. Potter was in the front of the room speaking with the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff girls. Lily frowned when he wrapped his arm around one of their shoulders.

Potter turned and looked over at her with a smirk on his face. His eyes gleamed when he saw that she was watching him. Lily rolled her eyes and crossed her arms as the bell rang.

Professor Binns started to discuss druids in the middle ages when Potter sat on the seat beside Lily. He sprawled out and managed to look composed with his messy hair and tie askew. Lily ignored his stare and took notes on Professor Binns' speech. Emmeline told her that Binns usually gave a test the week before the holidays to see who was sleeping in his classes.

" Jealousy doesn't fit you Lily," Potter declared with a smug grin. Lily couldn't help but look up to meet his eyes. He leaned back against the wood of his seat and held that goddamn snitch in his hand. There wasn't a single piece of paper in front of him as usual. Lily had seen one of his tests and noted with frustration that he got better grades than she did.

Nothing seemed to line up with James Potter. His grades were too good for someone who spent more time skiving classes than in them. Lily spent nights studying and days doing homework just to get the grades she rightfully deserved. Her hand always cramped and was covered in a layer of ink but the grades proved worth it.

" I don't know what you're talking about Potter. Did you decide to show up to class intoxicated again?" Lily snapped. Potter narrowed his eyes remembering that day in Care of Magical Creatures a year ago. He leaned towards Lily and towered over her even while slumping in his seat.

" A blind wizard could see the jealousy in your eyes when I was with Fawcett. I just find it sort of stupid Evans. You could have me. You know I want you. But you refuse to give me the word. It's so frustrating," Potter admitted.

" What's frustrating? Having hordes of girls line up just to sleep with you so you can toss them aside not when it's morning but the second the sex ends? Or is it the Quidditch skills, popularity, and grades that people would kill for?" Lily sniped.

She blinked rapidly when Potter tapped her nose and shook his head with a lazy smirk.

" It's frustrating that you're so hypocritical. Evans every single thing you just said about me is the same with you. Every single student in this castle adores you even if they think that you're a mudblood. You're tied with me for top student in four classes and with Jason in one and with Remus in one. It's a shame that you're number six in Transfiguration since Fawcett is better than you. You're the best seeker Hogwarts has seen in decades and people would kill for your chasing skills since you'll never go into the leagues even though you'd make a sexy Quidditch player. And every single boy in this castle even the first years know that you're one of the fittest birds in the school. But everybody is under the impression that you're a prude so they don't do anything," Potter concluded.

Lily opened her mouth trying to come up with a retort but couldn't find one. She settled with making a noise of vexation and flipped her hair over her shoulder. Potter's eyes darted to her hair and lightened. Lily quickly looked down to her paper before he could say anything.

" You're wrong. I'm second in Divination to Black," Lily sighed. Potter's lips pulled into a grudging smile and his fingers danced over the waterfall of her hair.

" Sirius may have shagged Omina last year," Potter said with a laugh. Lily was tired but her lips tugged into a reluctant smile at Potter's comment.

" He may be a manwhore but he's our manwhore," Potter teased. Lily shoved him and shot him a vexed look.

" Potter you're a manwhore too," she scoffed. Potter merely shrugged and leaned in so his lips brushed her hair.

" Don't worry Lily. I haven't slept with a single girl since June," Potter revealed. Lily flushed and he moved back to admire what he created.

When Lily managed to regain control over her face she sighed and met Potter's eyes with a begrudging frown. Her lips twitched as though they actually wanted to smile. Lily didn't know if that was a bad thing or not.

* * *

" Marlene how'd you managed to get Lily into a dress?' Michael asked in a teasing voice. Lily smacked him and took a sip of her butterbeer. It was close to midnight but the night wasn't close to starting. They managed to get into the birthday party for Jemima Highland, the seeker for the Wigtown Wanderers, when Gideon paid the party-bouncer off.

Due to Jemima's friendship across the league, players from every single Quidditch team made an appearance at the pub. Lily recognized Wilda Griffiths dancing with one of the beaters from the Arrows.

" I'm holding her favorite bra hostage. She gets it back after wearing that dress till the end of the night," Marlene slurred. Lily was positive that she was the only sober member of the group. Gideon was flirting with one of the reserve chasers for the harpies near the bar, which left Lily with Marlene and Michael.

She hadn't worn this dress in ages. It was buried deep inside of the expansion charm on her bracelet along with all of the other dresses she wore to parties. Lily didn't even know that she still had them before she attempted a summoning charm in the locker room after practice.

It was too short and tight since she hadn't worn it since the summer before fifth year. The colors seemed to fit in with the loud party and Lily had gotten several stares from some of the younger people at the party. The shade of silver was one of the few that made her skin not look paler than it was.

After Marlene forced her into a pair of ridiculous stilettos and with a few balancing charms, Lily was able to walk to Hogsmeade from the secret passage beneath Honeydukes.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Michael slammed his bottle of firewhiskey onto the table and stood up. His eyes were wild and glowed against the lights. " That witch over there has been staring at me all night. Marlene keep this one from getting too drunk. I'll be off now," Michael declared.

Lily shook her head as he marched over to a robe model from Gladrags. The witch looked positively delighted that Michael was heading her way.

" Let's find you a bloke to dance with," Marlene announced as she took another sip of her drink. It was some type of muggle drink modified so purebloods could feel comfortable drinking it that Marlene seemed especially fond of that night.

" Marlee I can hardly walk let alone dance," Lily whined. Her friend grabbed her arm and yanked her up. Lily stumbled and Marlene threw a hand around her shoulder.

" The night's still young Lils! I'm sure that any of these men would die to get a word with you," Marlene explained. Lily rolled her eyes and looked around the room. Most of the people in it were five or so years older than her. But a few were fresh from Hogwarts including one face Lily did recognize.

A pair of blue eyes locked with Lily's and she paled. Marlene looked towards where Lily was staring and muttered a curse under her breath. Lily couldn't break eye contact as a tall wizard walked over to her and Marlene with narrowed eyes.

" McKinnon and Prefect Evans aren't you two supposed to be in the castle right now?" Evan Rosier asked. Lily watched as her old headboy ran a hand through his tousled blonde hair and watched them with amused eyes.

Evan Rosier didn't look so nymph-like as he did during their year in Hogwarts. His body filled out to fit his tall frame and Lily could see the faint outline of muscles against his shirt. His hair was longer and there was a hint of stubble on his face. Lily could see the perfectly straight bridge of his nose as she stared up to meet his eyes.

" Evan it's been some time. How are your mum and Eliza?" Marlene asked in a courtesy voice. Lily watched as a grimace coated Evan's face and he turned to the bar to order drinks for them.

" Mum is well she asked about you and Sirius's engagement ball actually. Eliza well she's as good as someone whose first love died. Cut her hair, refuses to attend any events, and even moved out of the Manor. I heard that she applied for a job in the Department of Mysteries actually," Evan answered with an almost embarrassed tone.

" Heard? I thought you and Eliza were close," Marlene commented. Evan shrugged and took a sip of his firewhiskey. The lights in the tavern pulsed and Lily heard someone laugh loudly as Evan fiddled with his fingers.

" She's my twin McKinnon I'll never be closer with anyone. But she's hurting. Luke's death is literally going to be the death of her. She loves him you know. Even without the compulsion charms and all she would love him just as much as he loved her," Evan explained.

Lily stiffened at the mentioning of her brother. Lucian wasn't close with her but he was still family. She remembered Emmeline saying that a killing curse that had been meant for her hit Lucian.

" So Evans, rather Gryffindor of you to still be at the castle. You know considering all the Muggleborn laws and such," Evan commented. Lily felt a flush rise to her cheeks and shrugged.

" It's my war just as much as it's yours or Marlene's, Rosier," Lily responded with a cold tone. Evan's lips pulled into a dark smirk and he glanced at her with thin interest.

" McKinnon might want to put Evans here on a leash. She's almost feral. Mudbloods have disease you know," Evan drawled with a wicked intone. Before either Lily or Marlene could do anything, Evan was on the ground and Gideon stood over him clenching and unclenching his fist.

No one in the bar seemed to notice this. Evan let out a moan of a curse as he stood up. He was taller than Gideon who had an almost thick build and glared down at him. Lily could see the crack in his nose. A ghost of a smile shot across her face when she realized that Rosier had probably never been punched in the nose.

" Merlin Prewett! I know your in-laws are animals and all but don't stoop to their level," Evan hissed as he touched his nose gently. Gideon took another swing but Evan ducked in time with an amused expression. Marlene tugged on Lily's sleeve and mouthed for her to go and get Michael.

The music that seemed so light only minutes ago turned into a countdown. Lily's eyes raked into the crowds and she hunted for Michael's familiar build and present. She found him near the opposite side of the bar with a witch from Witch Weekly's cover.

Lily tugged on his sleeve and the witch stared at her in sharp annoyance. But Michael met her eyes with concern. " We have to go now. Gideon is about to get banned from the Three Broomsticks for the rest of his life," Lily explained. Michael shot up and shot the witch an apologetic look as he grabbed his wand and followed Lily back to the other side of the bar.

" McKinnon five days and this is what you're doing. Maybe I should tell good old Orion to make the charms stronger so the prefects are worse," Evan said loudly. Lily sped up and Michael was only a step behind him. She could see Marlene frozen in anger and shock. Luckily Gideon intervened.

" Evan you ought to be heading out. I heard that aurors might come by. Wouldn't want the news of your little tattoo to reach the front page of the Prophet or anything," Gideon order darkly. Evan's voice deepened in an amused laugh and he saw Michael behind Lily.

" Wood you'd know how little aurors can do now with that affair of your bastard brother not following direct orders. I'd advise that you lot keep little Lily Evans close by and maybe she'll live long enough to see the Dark Lord's final battle for victory," Evan muttered.

The hairs on the back of Lily's neck shot up and dread filled her gut. He was so sure of Voldemort winning. She knew what was happening before it came. Gasoline seemed to take over her blood and race into her veins.

" I'll meet you lot up at the castle. I've got to have a word with Hagrid," Lily said quickly. She could feel the burn of Marlene's concerned stare as she raced out of the pub.

The streets of Hogsmeade never looked so haunted before. Her shoes melted and Lily began sprinting from the pub. Her heart felt like something was eating at it. She didn't make it to the Dark Woods before the fire inside of her veins burned through the muddled state of her mind.

Lily collapses near a snow bank and waited for the battle and heartthrob to end. Her fingers ripped into the ground and the pounding of Lily's heart felt too silent. The snow melted under her body and dirt met Lily's eyes as she waited for victory.

But this time it seemed that victory was so far away. Her back arched and fire formed in the air above her. A sound of desperation not one of pain clung to Lily's throat and ripped out with blood and bile.

The moon sat waxing in the night sky above Lily's head when it ended. She knew that it was late. It was too late for her friends to still be at Hogsmeade. It was too late for Lily to give in and cry again.

She turned over and rubbed her fingers against the texture of her cheeks. The stars were something constant. Lily closed her eyes and knew what to do. It was early Tuesday morning. Only one person would be up at this time and willing to speak with her.

" I've known what to do this entire time," Lily muttered as she stood up clumsily. Her shoes were melted and with a bit of crude Transfiguration, Lily managed to turn them into a pair of worn sneakers. She shivered and walked to the secret entrance under Honeydukes on the verge of collapsing. Sometimes fear is the strongest force to encourage a person.

* * *

" You shouldn't have walked up here alone. There's fifth and sixth years out there trying to fulfill the requirements to become a death eater," Jason reprehended. His eyes looked over Lily's figure and lost the scolding note within seconds. A look of concern rested in a sea of anger.

It took her thirty minutes to get to the Astronomy Tower. Jason was the only sixth year willing to take the class at three in the morning every Tuesday. His eyes looked almost sad for a split second. But emotion filled them and guilt gnawed at Lily. He was ripped under his own problems and Lily never bothered to ask if he was okay.

It was too late for that. She let him down and wasn't there for him. Lily hoped to any divine being that her brother didn't have to live through a life of suffering. But then she remembered that war turned him into a villain.

But he was her brother. He was this golden sun that never stopped shining. Sometimes Lily knew that she had to make the choice for herself. And this was one of those cases.

" I'm just going to be clear and get this over with. I've got three months before Potter turns seventeen. Three months isn't enough time Jason, it'll never be enough time. But four the past four, I've wasted every single day becoming closer with him. I'm supposed to go down with a fight and I plan on that. I'm not coming back to Hogwarts after the Holidays," Lily explained.

She knew this was sitting in her mind for weeks. It was really inevitable. Full circles demanded to be met and Lily was not destined to leave England ever. She was supposed to be like Jason. But then fate interrupted and somehow she managed to get away. Coming back was inevitable too.

The past year changed her more than she wanted it to. For the past few weeks she thought about how other people in her life changed. But maybe this was just being human. Nothing could be constant no matter how much Lily wanted it to be.

Leaving England was selfish. But Lily didn't want to die lost and afraid of herself. She knew there was one way to change everything, she always had. But it was so dangerous and risky. Taking this one chance could kill her within seconds.

Either way she was going to die. If Lily had a choice she'd choose to die the way she wanted to. Her magic was only getting more and more restless. It wasn't supposed to be trapped inside of her. The truth burned her arteries like liquid nitrogen.

Magic was all around her. It was in the sunsets and the curves of her friends' smiles. It was in the way her mum could give her up and lose so much. It was inside of every single cell in her body. But at the same time it was constantly fighting her.

She wasn't suitable for magic at its purest form. Every single person held a little magic. Muggles found magic in their quirks and talents. Wizards and witches found it in their ability to have a little extra in their souls. But Lily had too much.

Even too much of a silver line could be deadly. Too much of anything was a poison in disguise.

Lily knew that for the past year it was more of a time to accept the fact that she wasn't strong enough to save the world. It was the curse of her ancestors. Humble and noble people cursed with the power to change the world. But they would never be strong enough to control it.

Her mind snapped back to focus at the laugh that escaped Jason's throat. She frowned as he leaned against the railing of the Astronomy Tower and titled his head back in a melodic sound. But why did it feel like shards of glass were ripping into Lily's ears?

" Julius won! That git managed to win a bet seven months after he died," Jason gasped in between laughs. Lily winced at the mentioning of her dead brother's name and Jason leaned forward and held his head in his hands.

She waited for him to pick up his pieces but he never did. Instead Lily walked towards him cautiously and kneeled in front of him. Gold glinted at her eyes and he pried his fingers off his face.

" We made a bet the day before school started. Lucian said you'd go back to France by January. Cassius said by March. Pericles thought you would want to finish the school year off and stay until the end of our fifth year. Julius then laughed at all of them and said that you were a fighter. He said that you'd stay for about a year before you were needed somewhere else. He said, word for word, ' She isn't the little girl who needs us to fight her nightmares. She's managed for six years without us. We're not the only people that need her anymore.' But I was the worst of all. Do you want to know why? I'll tell you Flower. I rolled my eyes at them because none of them understood you. None of them understood that you just needed someone to be there no matter what. None of them understood that you weren't afraid of love because it stabbed you in the back. No, you're afraid to love because your heart is covered in a mess of hastily patched up scars that are infected because you never stopped giving people your heart. So I told them that you'd never leave us again. But Julius was right. No matter how fucking hard I try to be your brother, no matter how much I want you to know that I love you not because you're my little sister but because you are tangling knots around my soul, you will never accept this world. You're not the Lily Gastor of any of their minds. But maybe you're not the one of mine either," Jason spat in a venomous voice.

His eyes didn't look so golden anymore. Red lines from his broken blood vessels erupted like a volcano that was building up tension and magma for years. Lily was just Pompeii in the way of the destruction and impending doom.

But she wasn't going to run from the eruption. Her fingers pulled Jason's fingers back as he slid down the railing and landed next to her with crossed legs. But he shoved her hands away and wiped furiously against his eyes like a child.

Lily wondered how long it had been since he last cried. When Julius died, there were tears in his eyes but they never fell out. He didn't understand how to deal with the waterfall in his mind or on his face.

" Jace I've been horrid. We're running in cycles of the same thing. I wasn't ready to come home- I wasn't ready to see you. Home is where the heart is but my heart is broken into a hundred pieces and so many people have a piece of it. You've got one of the biggest pieces. I'm sorry that our family fell apart and you were the only one to endure the fire of it. We've all got things to carry and for a while you held my weight until I was strong enough to pick it up. I'm strong enough to finish this once and for all. Jason Edward Gastor there are million things about you that I will not understand and there are a million things about me that you can't understand," Lily said in a low voice.

Shadows flickered over Jason's teary face and he didn't ever stop looking like the sun. But there was something cold in his eyes and his mouth faltered.

" I trusted you! I would choose you over James or any of my friends any day. But I thought it was you and me against this world, it never really was though. It's always been you. You're like the goddamn protagonist of god's story. I'm just your older brother-another tragedy in the making," Jason replied icily.

Lily's fingers dropped the floor of the tower and she felt a furious flush rush to her cheeks. But she was Pompeii and she couldn't do anything to quell Vesuvius's anger.

" You're one of the most important people in my life. That's why I have to leave Jason! I can't risk hurting you or Marlene or-," Lily started. Jason cut her off as he looked up to the sky. Snow fell around them but due to a charm Professor Sinistra kept up, the snowflakes fell over the edge of the Tower as though there was a shield there.

" Or James? Answer me truthfully, are you leaving because you're so afraid of loving James Potter?" Jason demanded. Lily swallowed and wrung her hands together.

" I'm not afraid of loving him Jason. I'm afraid of finding out who he is really is," Lily muttered. Jason didn't meet her eyes. He was staring transfixed at the sky.

" It's strange what you remember about people when they're gone. Mum used to take us starwatching but I never really thought about the stars. I always remember her laying against the blanket she kept on the ground and her hair sprawled around her like a fire as her hands reached for the stars she could never meet. I remember dad playing Quidditch with me and racing me when everybody else was too busy. I remember how he never really cared how fast he was going but how far up he could go. Looking back, sometimes I wonder if he was trying to steal the stars for mum. James would do anything for you Lily. He's in love with you but his heart is so fragile Lily. His isn't something as dark and experienced as yours. It's a glass orb that's never been broken before- he doesn't know how to put the pieces back together. I don't want you to be person he breaks for," Jason explained.

Lily shook her head and wrapped her fingers into her hair with frustration. This wasn't about her or Potter. This was so much bigger than them.

" We have so many destinies Jason. I've chosen mine over the one I'm supposed to have. And if that destiny is an exodus without you or happiness then I will complete it and come home. Jason I promise I will come home," Lily choked.

" Lily your word is something that I don't know if I can trust. If I let you go then you'll fly away and never come back," Jason erupted.

" We let go of the things we love the most in hopes that they will find their way back to us," Lily murmured. Her eyes wrenched opened when Jason grabbed her shoulders and shook them solidly.

" No I can't do that anymore Lily! I can't keep giving and losing everything anymore. How much do you want to take from me before I'm nothing but ashes and dust?" Jason demanded.

Lily brushed his hands down gently and picked up a fallen star chart. She transfigured it into a mangy excuse for a handkerchief and wiped Jason's eyes softly. Tears streamed endlessly but she was there to wipe them away.

" I've got to do this Jason. I can't tell you what I'm doing but it's my nightmare to fight now," Lily soothed. His fingers knotted into her hair and titled her head up to meet his red eyes.

" When did you stop needing me to be your hero?" Jason asked in a hoarse voice. Lily could feel her own tears coming to her eyes but shook them away.

" I think that I'll always needs you to be my hero. But you're meant to fight your battles and I've got to face my demons someday," Lily answered with a watery expression.

Jason let go of her and pushed her hands from his face. Slowly he stood and pulled Lily's wind-shaken frame up with his. Gold met green and his eyelashes looked like a bird's feathers.

" I heard about Hestia Lily. Sometimes the needle is what makes the haystack collapse," Jason mused. But his voice was cold and clipped. Lily brushed her hair back and chewed on her bottom lip.

" I'm not falling apart. I'm taking a stance and getting back on track. Coming to England was the worst and best thing I could've done last year. Playing with fire is so thrilling until you get burned," Lily muttered darkly.

Jason stepped away from the railing and picked up his bag and wand from the desk inside of the tower. He turned to Lily and saw that she was still looking at the storm outside. Her dress was tattered and Lily could feel her brother watching her.

" Gastors speak in riddles Lily. But you were always an open book. Don't do this. I need you and your friends need you. James above all of us doesn't need to have his heart broken for the first time," Jason begged.

Lily's fingers reached for the railing's bar as though it was a swing set. But she was too scared to swing. "You've survived worse than what is going to come. My friends they're better off without me reminding them that they should fight even though they're fighting a lost war. And did you ever think that Potter is going to inevitably have his heart broken. It's better to get it over with quickly," Lily answered.

Jason did not answer her statement and when she turned he was gone. Lily saw his wand by the floor of the tower and with shaking fingers grasped it. She could imagine his red eyes and the flush on his cheeks. She bent over the railing and cried for Jason, the sun who had no choice but to keep shining.

* * *

" What's going on?" Lily demanded the next morning. She had just entered the common room from the Astronomy Tower after a night of tears and sleeplessness to see every single Gryffindor in the common room.

It wasn't like the pandemonium of Dumbledore's departure. Every single face was pale and alert. Students who fought over petty things were sitting together with their knees clanging against each other.

In her tattered party dress and poorly transfigured sneakers Lily looked extremely out of place. But only a few eyes turned to her. All of the others were looking at the radio stationed in the middle of the common room with worry etched onto their young faces.

Marlene was sitting in the middle of the common room near the fireplace but none of her friends were nearby. She had a first year leaning against her shoulder with tears streaming down her face and didn't meet Lily's eyes. Alice and Frank were in the room and Lily's stomach swooped in confusion when she saw Emmeline sitting with a group of third years trying to keep one from sobbing.

Her friends were spread across the room trying to console the younger students and a few older ones. Lily could see Tonks sitting with Trevor and his hands were clumsily knotted with hers.

The smile that was about to sneak onto Lily's face disappeared when a pair of arms grabbed her from behind and turned her around. She let out a noise of surprise when her eyes met the warm brown eyes of Michael Wood. He had bags under his eyes and Lily paled when she saw the robes thrown over his figure hastily.

" Lily," he whispered. Lily could feel something wrong; something was dreadful wrong. She looked back at the Gryffindors and gestured for the exit to the common room. Michael shook his head and frowned.

" Where in Merlin's name have you been? The houses are on lockdown right now. No one knew where you were for the past three hours," he demanded. Lily blinked and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

" Michael what's going on? Why are the common rooms on lockdown?" Lily asked. He stared at her in bewilderment and shook his head.

" You haven't heard?" he asked loudly. Someone shushed him from over at the sofas and Lily could hear voices from the radio that had been amplified.

" Emergency update on the Hogsmeade situation. According to word from Mr. Bartimus Crouch, head of the DMLE, the death eaters are trying to get to the castle. Auror forces are suppressing them with little success. Word from a villager who managed to escape the slaughter says that the attack started soon after the end of the party for Tobias Runsworth, one of the chasers of the Appleby Arrows. Death Eaters lit several of the residential homes on fire and with the assistance of Dementors, of all things, have been making progress on getting closer to the Hogwarts. Further word will be brought on the situation," a wizard's voice announced over the radio.

Lily's mind paused before a series of thoughts exploded from it. She and her friends barely got away before the attack. Evan Rosier wasn't there to celebrate a birthday; he was there for an attack.

Suddenly she understood why Michael was so worried. She never came back to the castle with him, Marlene, and Gideon. He thought she was out there possibly dead or alive. She could've been dead if she had decided to lie in the snow for a few minutes longer.

" I was with Jason in the Astronomy Tower," Lily mumbled numbly. Michael stared at her before nodding. His fingers were wrapped round his wand tightly and Lily could see the gleam of his family ring.

" All aurors in the country were summoned to defend the castle and Hogsmeade including," Michael said in a low voice. Lily's mouth fell into a soundless scream and waves of fatigue plagued her body.

" No Gale wouldn't have gone without finding me first," Lily whispered. Michael pulled something from his pocket and slipped it into Lily's hand. She looked down and saw the Order of Merlin ring Galen always wore no matter how much he complained about. Next to it was a piece of parchment folded into a rose with a spell.

" He came up and expected that you wouldn't be here. Said to give this to you when he came back," Michael explained. Lily's legs turned to liquid gold and she slapped Michael across the face. The common room's low buzz silenced as people turned to stare at them.

" How could you let him go? Michael I had to say goodbye so that he wouldn't die," Lily hissed. Michael let got of his cheek and stared at her into surprise and confusion.

" What are you talking about?" he demanded. Lily's fingers ripped through her messy hair and she looked at his eyes with clarity.

" Whenever people I love die, I never tell them not to. You live every single time I ask you not to die. Galen can't die Michael. Merlin he just can't die," Lily choked. The common room was watching her with silence and the world was spinning.

" He's one of the best aurors in the country, don't worry Lily," Michael tried to comfort. Lily's teeth chewed into her tongue and she refused to scream now in front of people who needed to see that she wasn't going to freak out.

" I'm going to shower and sleep," Lily muttered. She turned from Michael and headed for the staircase to the girls' dorms. Her fingers slammed the door shut after her body and Lily peeled the clothing she wore off. After scrubbing the dirt and dried blood from her mouth and body, Lily changed into the first pair of jeans and sweater she could find.

Her fingers shook as they dragged Dumbledore's Pensieve out of her ring and the vials of memories. Lily could feel bile in her mouth as she tucked the ring and rose inside of the ring and turned to the basin and vials on her bed.

There was only one left that she hadn't seen. For weeks, Lily avoided looking at it but she needed Dumbledore's guidance more than ever at that moment. Every time she closed her eyes, Lily could see Galen with blank eyes staring at the stars he was destined to be in.

So she poured the memory into the Pensieve and ducked her head into the memory with shaking legs. The feeling of falling through memories was one Lily long had adjusted to but this was slightly different. Everything floated to her instead of falling.

* * *

She knew the location before landing it was one so familiar even though Lily had never been inside of the room. The standard choice of Albus Dumbledore, the Heads', dorms formed around Lily.

But it was different since she could feel that this memory wasn't one person's. It was as though Dumbledore layered the memory into a series of memories. The first being her dad's.

Lily never understood how much her dad looked like Jason. Except for the slightly different noses and structures, they could've been brothers. She knew it was her dad since no man could look so much like the one from her memories.

His body was clad in rich dark robes and his hair was as chaotic as Jason's. With sharp cheekbones and a set of Cupid's bow lips Lily understood why he was the golden boy of his society.

He stood in the middle of the room pacing as another man his age with brown hair and azure eyes watched him with worried eyes. The clipped sounds of his shoes against the floor created a melody of sorts, but it was a dark orchestra.

" Why are you leaving and why did I have to find out from Charlus?" The brown haired boy asked quietly, breaking the silence. Lily's dad stopped his pacing and met the blue eyes with so much brokenness in his eyes.

" When Rose was in that spell-induced coma, I promised her that I was done pulling her. She will break if we keep pulling her in different directions. When she woke up, she asked for you not me. She needs you more than she needs me. I don't even think that it was ever about me loving her Darcy. I was just jealous that you have everything I never had. You have loving parents, the reputation, and the girl. Meanwhile I'm Will Gastor the boy whose dad and sister died. I'm Will Gastor the boy who has a mum in Mungos' Mental Ward. I'm the Will Gastor who broke every single heart in this castle and is destined to implode. I would rather die than take you or Rosaline Whitewood down with me. I went to Charlus because he understood that I have nothing left in England," Lily's dad explained.

He didn't look like the heartless monster Lily always saw him as. His gold eyes were not looking to appease a greater cause or war. He wasn't trying to live up to Society; he was doing the exact opposite.

Her mind numbed at his speech. Lily knew that her dad was in love with Rosaline Whitewood but she never knew the full extent of his nightmares. Staring at his shadow clad body, Lily could see, for once in her life, why her brothers thought they were so similar.

" Dammit Will! You're so blind sometimes. I need you; we all need you so much. You think that no one loves you, and you're not willing to stand with Charlus Potter and fight with the Dark Lord. You're too scared that he will abandon you if you say no to his offer so this is your other choice. But it isn't Will. You're not going to find salvation in New York. You and I both know that England is your home. You love this place more than anything. I doubt there's something taking you to New York," Darcy countered.

William's eyes took a faraway look and he didn't answer Darcy. The light from the torch dimmed slightly and Lily could see a smile spread across his face. It was the same tragically beautiful one she wore over and over again.

The room started to fade and Lily's feet lost their standing. Something in the memory shifted and she flew into another one. It was the same exact situation except for the fact that her dad and Darcy Auclair wore different clothing.

The light of the window showed Lily that it was early summer. She could see the giant squid in the Black Lake and the clouds large and puffy.

Lily moved closer as her dad's eyes lightened and he clapped a hand around Darcy's shoulder. " I keep having the same dream Darce. I'm dancing with this girl. I could tell you exactly how she looks and the sound of her laugh. It's incredible Darcy. Something in my heart is telling me that I'll find her in New York. She's waiting for me and every single time I see her in my dreams there's this broken heart she's got sewn to her sleeve. I'm not destined to become the perfect boy of society like you or Charlus. I don't believe in destiny or fate Darcy. I believe that I've doomed myself to this horrible life. But this girl-this new start she's going to change everything," William answered. Lily seemed slightly perturbed by the quick shift in conversation. Her dad pulled something from the pocket of his shirt pocket.

It was a piece of parchment with warped shadows. Lily froze when she saw her dad thrust the parchment at Darcy. She could see the almond shaped eye of her mum staring at Darcy.

His fingers were gentle against the thin paper and Lily knew that her dad was the one to draw that picture from the arches and curves of his words.

" You don't even know her Will. She may not even be real," Darcy argued. Lily caught the lack of shadows under his eyes and knew that he was happy. Darcy Auclair got his happily ever after so young but it was fated for him to lose it all over again.

Her dad's hand grabbed the drawing from Darcy's hands and shoved it into his pocket. He scoffed at his friend and looked to the window with a look of longing.

" She's real Darcy. I've got nothing else in this life but her. Everybody is moving on and they're ready to face this war. You'll probably get married this summer and Orion is going to Spain for that internship with his uncle. Charlus and Dorea have taken care of me for too long. My presence is keeping them from moving on from the past. My family is gone; my youth was lost too long ago. I've sinned Darcy and I guess this is whatever godly force's way of balancing it. But this girl, she's my last hope. She is giving me the strength to tell Charlus that I don't want to fight with the death eaters and let me leave this life behind," William explained in an urgent voice.

Lily could see his presence struggling against the world he grew up in. He was so perfect for it; he was the key to their society. But a piece of him was missing and Lily knew in that moment it was her mum.

She just didn't understand how her parents ended up together with all the tragedy in their lives. She didn't understand how the boy on the verge of manhood in front of her would write that cold and harsh letter ordering her to bring honor to the family.

" You're my brother Will. We've been best friends through everything and now you're just going to abandon all of this," Darcy said weakly.

" I think this friendship has been dying for months Darce. We outgrew each other. You're meant to settle down young with Rose and become the man purebloods can look up to. You got your happily ever after so young and I'm still escaping my nightmares to find mine. Live well Darcy. Forget about our friendship because you're ready to leave childhood and me behind. I left too long ago and now I need to let go of this torture I've sentenced myself to," William beseeched.

" No I won't forget you Will. We both know that you'll be back. It may be within a day or a year or in twenty years, but your heart sits in England. Go and find her, find your happily ever after. But I'm more than certain that it will end here," Darcy declared boldly.

" Who knows maybe our kids will be friends or something," William suggested as the two embraced. Darcy smiled weakly and laughed.

" Maybe but time will give us the answer," he said in a low voice. A wind took Lily from the memory and she left it with something like confusion clinging to her skin. She wasn't paying attention when she landed but the room caught her eye.

It was her bedroom, but it was empty of all her belongings. Lily knew what day it was before she notices the presence in the room. She knew that it was her birthday from the lily flower sitting on the bed. Her dad always left one on her bed every year for her birthday.

Lily could see him facing the window and when he turned, the light of the sun made his eyes look as though a volcano of loss and treasure were in them. Her dad was slightly older than her memories. The laugh lines by his mouth and eyes were stronger and his body seemed to take age in stride.

But the glow of his smile and the laughter in his dimples made Lily know that no matter how old he was he would always be young and free. His eyes were looking at the Lily as he closed the door to the room and sat on her bed.

Long tan fingers plucked the flower and he held it gently. His eyes looked down at it and his mouth opened.

" The day after you left, Dumbledore came to me with an offer. Somehow he knew that I wouldn't live to see your seventeenth birthday or to see you return to England. I accepted this with open arms because I've had a happily ever after that some people would die over and over for. I spent the last six years working with Dumbledore on this project. For six years I helped him collect memories from even the most stubborn minds. Lily these memories are to open your mind. We learn our best lessons from the mistakes of our past. For the lifetimes of my peers and mine, death and the way have been the strongest forces besides society. You need to know the full story before you think that I am the man who wrote you a goodbye letter in my will. I've done some very bad things in my life. Because I was so weak and I could not fight I sentenced not only myself but also my children to carry the burden of a war past onto my shoulders by my parents. I sentenced your mum and your brothers to a death they do not deserve. I am the reason Julius lost his first love and Jason will lose his dad too young. You don't need to make my mistakes Lily. You don't need to join your brothers and fight with them. If you want you can fight but you do not have to. Your mother and I gave you up so young not so you could avoid the war. No that would be ridiculous. You're just like me- England is where your heart comes together. We gave you up so you would be strong enough to fight for what's right. You must hate me for forcing you into a betrothal but it's for the benefit of everything. Everything about your life has been thought out. Lily you can fight because between the Potter and Gastor families there is no way your brothers or James will let you die. You're like your mother in that you can get even the darkest souls to love you. Look at Julius- he's distant from everybody until he's in your company. You're going to change the world Lily. I used to think that I was destined for greatness but I'm nothing but ashes and dust in your light. Dumbledore tells me that a seer has predicted your return for December. That means I have nine months to do everything possible to make your life in England better, starting with the curse. Hopefully you will have gone through the transition to remove it, but if not then you are running out of time. Once Voldemort gets word of your powers this war will be over. He will take everything and everybody you love and hold them hostage and force you to do his bidding until you are just like me. I can't let that happen Lily. So I've done my own research. There's a notebook, one of the ones I used to carry to work. It has everything you need. But I had to hide it from your brothers and mother; they cannot know what you are doing. It's too dangerous but the benefits outweigh the risks," William said.

He stood and pulled a wrapped notebook from his pocket. It was a small thing with thing paper and a gold cover. Lily watched as he walked over to the fireplace in her bedroom. She blushed when he lifted the trick brick where she used to leave her treasures. His fingers pushed the notebook into the crevice and closed it slowly.

" I actually don't know where you're standing right now. Considering the fact that I'm dead by the point where you would watch this memory and you're not the little girl of my memories we're strangers in some ways. I wrote in my will a letter filled with the coldness the Dark Lord has to think I have for you. Lily I don't hate you- I love you. I love you and envy your chance for freedom. I'm so proud of you for being alone for so long. I'm probably watching over you telling all the wizards and witches who've died about my amazing daughter. You've heard the story about your name right? How your mother and I argued over a name and Rose Auclair thought Lily would be fitting? It's partially true but know that I did not name you Lily because it is a symbol for purity or since it means perfection. I agreed to the name since it can mean hope and life. You're going to have to hope and be the hope for so many people Lilibeth. You're going to struggle and tolerate. But the motto of this family is Suffer, Endure and Prevail. There will be silver linings to your life and a happily ever after. I love you Lily so I'm letting you go," William Gastor finished.

Lily's feet trembled as she walked over to him. She tried to hug him but her hands flew through the memory. Winds picked up and dragged Lily from the memory and threw her back in her dorm. She gasped for air and watched in horror as the vials of memories started to shatter and break. The memory in the Pensieve sizzled and within a few seconds turned into a pile of dust and ashes.

Bile flew to Lily's mouth when she remembered her dad saying dust and ashes. She stumbled back and held her head in between her shaking hands. This couldn't be happening. Every single belief and opinion she had for her entire lifetime was changed or proved wrong in the past year. How could the world rip her into pieces and put her together all wrong?

The dormitory looked gray and ashen as Lily stood up. She shoved the Pensieve into her bracelet and vanished the dust and ashes with a numb mind. Her dad did not want to be a death eater; he wasn't a purist. Something was being held over him keeping him from fighting for the side he wanted to. When the first tear came to Lily's eye she thought she knew what it was too well.

* * *

" Are you okay?" Michael asked. Lily knew that he couldn't see her bloodshot eyes from the glamour charm she learned. But somehow he knew that things were wrong. Lily remembered his family ring's ability and pursed her lips.

She was back in the common room and it was nearing noon. No one complained of hunger or wonders of when the teachers would come. When Lily was in her dorm, the radio announced that the death eaters were starting to retreat. But with news of burnt homes and the dead, the celebration had been withdrawn.

" I wasn't ready to come home yet last year. I don't think I am right now either," Lily answered. His eyes leaped from the radio to meet hers. But Lily's mind was replaying the message her dad delivered. She thought he was evil and spiteful for too long. Why did the world force her to give up every single principle she held?

" Lily stop doubting yourself. You haven't been in England for a year and still the change your presence has made is too clear," Michael answered. Lily raised an eyebrow at him and he stretched his legs out against the rich wood of the Gryffindor Common Room. Michael gave up his perch near the radio to a group of fifth years and retreated to the back when Lily came down.

" You've managed to get me to grow up. I think there's something about your personality that makes people want to be good enough to even be in your presence," Michael commented.

The hairs on the back of Lily's neck stood up when she remembered her dad saying something similar to Michael's speech. But he didn't notice this as he continued his dialogue.

" All of us have changed. You taught Marlene that sometimes you have to make the choices that will break you. You taught Gideon to let go of death slowly but never completely. I doubt Adam or Emmeline didn't take something from finding out about who you really are. You've given Emmeline hope that being a pureblood doesn't condemn us to a life of dust and ashes. Adam's never wanted to fight for the world more than when you talk to him about the places you've been. Frank well let's say that somehow he's managed to see something other than the war. Alice is more than grateful for that. And me, Lily honestly I'd probably be the man whore Michael Wood of my childhood. But it's not just us; you've been the rock for the school and teachers. Believe me when Professor McGonagall is more than thankful that you're prefect. Don't tell your brother I'm saying this, but I think you've shown him that family is more than blood," Michael voiced strongly.

He waited for Lily to respond and she let her lips pull into the sad tragic smile that she inherited from her dad. " I'm leaving Michael. I won't be coming back to Hogwarts after the break," Lily said slowly.

Blood fueled into her cheeks when Michael grabbed her shoulders and forced her to turn and face him. His eyes never looked more desolate and empty even when they fought so horribly in March.

" Why would you do this to me?" he asked in a quiet voice. Lily glanced at the clock on the mantle of the fireplace and wrung her fingers together.

" I told you I'm still not ready to come home. I don't regret leaving my life in France behind and coming here as Lily Evans. But I owe it to myself and the world to let Lily, a girl who could be anything without a last name restricting her, finish what she started six years ago when she left England," she replied.

Michael's fingers were loosening on her shoulders but he did not hold a single trace of emotion on his face. " Will you come back?" he asked. Lily ran a hand through her hair and sighed.

" Before March is what I'm aiming for. I have three months before Potter turns seventeen and I have to do something with this time," Lily answered.

" You can do something in England. Why would you risk your future and education to do something globally when England needs you?" Michael demanded.

" England doesn't need me Michael- I need it. I need the rainy gray days and the people than bring it color. I need the laughs and smiles to last. I need you guys to live. But my presence is endangering all of this. Whenever I try to love this place I end up hurting it. I need to fix myself before I hurt the things and people I love most," Lily uttered concisely.

Michael turned his head to face the window and Lily could make out the thick line of his scar. It was no longer hidden in long brown locks of hair. He seemed to embrace what happened that night in June when Lily didn't have the heart or energy to do so.

" You don't need to leave Lily. Whatever you need to do I'm sure you can do here," Michael begged. Lily rubbed her eyes tiredly and shook her head. Outside of the window the world was a snow-covered mess of a thing. But beyond the hills and forests, smoke and lights of spells could be seen.

" The longer I stay here the more I'm falling in love with James," Lily answered sadly. Michael stiffened and met her eyes with anger in them.

" In love with Potter? How could you love someone so cruel and evil? Yesterday he was encouraging fourth years to hex and jinx muggleborns Lily. He's a death eater for Merlin's sake," Michael argued.

" I know that Michael! Don't you think the guilt from what I'm feeling is eating me alive? I hate that he has the affect on me and there's nothing I can do. I hate that every single time he touches me all of my principles are lost. I don't even like him and I'm falling in love with him. This isn't supposed to happen," Lily hissed. But by the end of her rant she lost the fight for the conversation and closed her eyes with the upsetting truth of it all.

" It's impossible to stay away from him Michael. I have most of my classes with him and one with every single of one his friends. He's been making them walk me to class because of all the muggleborn attacks in the castle. I can't escape this here at Hogwarts but I can if I leave. I'm not leaving because of James, I'm leaving because staying here means letting go of everything that has defined me for sixteen years," Lily finished.

Michael didn't have time to respond when the portrait hole was thrown open. Professor McGonagall stormed into the common room covered in debris and wreckage from the dueling outside. Her eyes met Lily's and she knew what happened.

" Due to the events of today, Professor Malfoy and the Board of Governors have agreed to give students the day off from school activities. News from the attack on Hogsmeade is limited and until the ministry gives us permission we cannot truly explained what has happened. Professor Malfoy will be holding a mandatory meeting for all faculty and students during dinner," Professor McGonagall declared.

Lily stood up and made her way through the common room. Professor McGonagall's eyes traced her figure and she pursed her lips.

" Professor is Professor Kingsmill?" Lily started. But the dismal look on Professor McGonagall's face led Lily to the answer she never wanted.

" He was hit with four crucios and finally a dark slicing charm brought him down Miss Evans. When I left healers were taking him to Mungos, his family has been sent an owl. Don't fret Miss Evans; I'm sure that he will heal fine. Auror Kingsmill is one of the best the country has seen in years," Professor McGonagall revealed.

But even as Professor McGonagall left the common room and people began milling out of it in quiet voice, Lily knew that he wasn't going to be fine. As long as Galen stayed in England he would always be a target.

" Lils come on, let's get you downstairs and some food," Marlene said as she appeared at Lily's side. Lily nodded slowly and walked with her and their friends to the Great Hall. She could barely hear their conversation from the dark thoughts bubbling in her mind.

Selena and Mr. Kingsmill would not be able to handle the news of Galen's fall in battle. After Mrs. Kingsmill's death it would be just too much. Lily knew that if Galen got better he wouldn't return to Greece. He would stay and die in a flame of glory.

But eventually they would heal. Selena had Pericles to get her through Mrs. Kingsmill's death and he wasn't going to leave her anytime soon. Mr. Kingsmill lost so much that losing a son would just be a paper cut on his heart. Greece and England would mourn his actions to save them for a few days before a new better auror came about.

That left Lily to take the weight of his death. Galen was fated to die in battle and it may have not been that day that he died but his time was running out. Lily once compared him to her sun, but he wasn't the thing guiding her through the day anymore. He was her savior and angel. Galen saved her from falling into a hole too deep during the summer. He followed her to England and kept her from digging herself into that hole all over again.

Galen Kingsmill chose the life path that Lily wanted so badly. She wanted to be an auror and was willing to go down in a flame of glory. She didn't want him to die so young. Lily wasn't around the see what changed him from the troubled pureblood boy who ditched classes and flirted with anything that could move. She really did not know if Galen would be the person he was if the war wasn't around.

It scared her so much to see what this war was doing to the people she loved the most. Lily remembered a line in her mum's diary, "this war was in the air they breathe slowly poisoning them."

Realizing that her mum had the same situation gave Lily little comfort. Generations were suffering because of one man's greed. From Lily's grandparents to possibly her children where would the war finally die?

She understood why the death eaters were fighting just as hard as she and her friends were. They lost comrades, brothers, and family to the war. In the end no one would really win this war. The war would be the winner. It would be the force that ripped society into thousands of pieces and took so many lives.

The wind was knocked under Lily suddenly. She tripped over something and Michael's hand quickly pulled her up and he met her eyes with concern.

" Sorry I was just thinking about something," Lily said while a flush bloomed on her cheeks. He nodded and they continued to the Great Hall.

* * *

The tables were silent except for the sound of whispers and people pretending to eat. Lily could see George Young, a Hufflepuff seventh year, sitting with his fifth year Ravenclaw sister.

It was strange that she saw how people ignored the rules of the house tables and began sitting together. A patchwork rainbow of sorts formed and Lily smiled sadly at the sight. She only wished that it didn't take something so tragic for all of this to happen.

" We shouldn't sit together. We need to spread across the hall and make sure that the younger years are alright," Frank said with a glance around the hall. But his words were already being taken by sixth and seventh years. Lily raised an eyebrow when she saw Marcy Webber sitting at the Gryffindor table with a group of second and first year girls. She was telling them a story and they giggled softly.

Amos Diggory was sitting with a large group of Ravenclaw boys. They were listening to his tale of the Quidditch World Cup he attended a few years back. Lily was too busy watching everything to see her friends start to copy the gesture.

Emmeline joined Amelia Bones at the Hufflepuff table and Gideon headed for the fourth year Ravenclaw boys. Fabian and Marlene sat at the Gryffindor table close enough for their shoulders to touch but speaking with two different groups; the fifth year girls and boys.

Looking closer, Lily could see that her past observations were wrong. Younger students were copying their gestures and sitting together regardless of house. Tonks sat with Trevor and some of their friends from different houses.

" Slytherin is the only table not sitting with others," Michael murmured in her ear. Lily looked up and saw that the Slytherins were reserved in comparison to everybody else. But Michael was wrong about one thing.

The years meshed into a giant clump just like other houses. Lily could see Mulciber sitting with a girl that had his sallow green eyes but a bright smile near the top of the table. Cressida Zabini was with some fourth years and was even allowing some braver fifth year boys to flirt with her.

What surprised her the most was the Marauders. They did not sit together during this time of strife. Remus was with the seventh year girls letting one cry on his shoulder. Lily recognizes her dark blonde hair to be Pricilla Parkinson. She knew that Pricilla had a brother who was a rumored death eater. Black was with the fifth year boys and sat right next to his brother. Lily was surprised to see the arm he had around the smaller version of himself. She knew that something happened between the two Black brothers and they weren't very close. Jason was nowhere to be seen on the table to Lily's chagrin.

Potter surprised her the most. Lily did not expect to see his inky locks stand out against the shorter statures of the first years. His lips were pulled into an amused smile as some of them used their hands to explain something to him.

His eyes locked with Lily's when he turned and he quickly analyzed her figure. She chewed on her bottom lip and he frowned at her. Lily's blood chilled when he mouthed to her something. She stumbled back and gestured her head towards the entrance to the hall. Potter's eyes narrowed but he nodded.

" I'm going to the loo," Lily told Michael. He nodded but his attention was focused on something at the head table. Lily turned and took cropped steps outside to the entrance hall.

Potter was already there waiting for her. His lips were in a cracked line and his body was against a large window. Lily stood a few feet away from him and folded her arms over her sweater.

" Was he supposed to be out there fighting?" Lily asked in an abrupt question. Potter ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. Lily could see the hasty state of his robes and the way his fingers toyed around that stupid snitch he carried around.

" None of us were. Too much risk since it's so close to the castle. I checked the map around three and saw that you two were in the Astronomy Tower. Why were you out of your dorm?" Potter asked in a low voice. Lily wrung her hands together and shrugged.

" I had a nightmare and knew that he was the only person left taking Astronomy in our year. We had a fight and he left after that," Lily explained. Potter raised an eyebrow in curiosity and Lily stiffened at his gesture.

" Care to share?" he asked. Lily frowned at him and shivered as a breeze of wind blew in. It smelled of nutmeg and cinnamon from the decorations the prefects and professors kept up that weekend.

" Sibling quarrel you wouldn't understand," Lily answered spitefully. Potter's expression formed a wince before it hardened all within a second. He moved towards her and Lily took a shaking step back.

" Jason hates fighting with you. He usually wakes up everybody in our dorm trying to open our stash of firewhiskey. We ran out a few days ago so he must have gone to," Potter started. Lily paled and her eyes widened.

" Hogsmeade; he went to get firewhiskey and knew about the attack. Oh Circe," Lily choked. She felt her body trembled slightly and remembered her family's bad experience in spontaneous choices. Making quick decisions resulted in the deaths of half of her family.

Potter watched her concern and reached for her hand. Lily stumbled against his chest and shook with fear. " Lily don't worry please. Jason is fine- he's a better dueler than most aurors and death eaters. He's probably trying to find a way back into the castle," Potter assured.

Lily titled her head up and reluctantly let Potter's calming presence engulf her whole mind. But new reasons for fear blossomed quickly. " He left his wand in the Astronomy Tower," she said in a numb voice.

Her fingers pulled the gold handled device from her pocket and Potter let out a curse or two. Lily pressed her head against his chest and he tightened his grip on her waist. She took quick breaths and tried using the sound of James's heartbeat to calm her.

Fingers tugged Lily's chin up so her eyes met Potter's. The mess of colors that made up his eyes sent waves of comfort to Lily's shaken mind. She allowed her hands to cling to the material of his shirt.

" Jason isn't going to die Lily. He may be stubborn and spontaneous but he's a Gastor. He can fight and find a way out of Hogsmeade," James assured. Lily shook her head and blinked hard.

" Potter we're not gods. We're meant to fall and break too easily. I've known that my entire life but Jason is different. He's going to fall one day and then we're all going to lose a piece of our souls," Lily answered.

" That day is not today Lily," he promised. Lily wrinkled her nose and allowed a small piece of confusion to grace her features. How could Potter be so sure? He caught her expression and let go of Lily's shoulders.

A light flush covered her cheeks when he began unbuttoning his shirt. Slices of toned skin registered in Lily's mind as he pulled his right sleeve down to reveal the Marauder's tattoo on his shoulder.

" I'll know if anything happens to Jason just like he'll know if anything happens to me," Potter guaranteed. Lily nodded and resisted the urge to let her finger skim the surface of Potter's arm.

" I should go back to the Great Hall. The younger students need us," Lily said in a soft voice. Potter quickly buttoned his shit and nodded. When his stepped into better light, Lily could see the light circles under his eyes and the frantic stare in his eyes.

She knew that he was pretending for her sake to be fine. It bothered Lily for some reason that Potter refused to be honest with her. While she was walking back to the Great Hall, Lily knew that Potter thought she was weak and nothing bothered her more.

* * *

Lily didn't end up going to the Great Hall and comforting students. Her friends could take care of that. Instead she journeyed back to Gryffindor Tower and locked the door to the dorm. She toyed with the charm bracelet on her wrist before a final decision came over her.

When she leaves Hogwarts, Lily would not be seventeen for a month. Even then, she knew that if Potter and Jason wanted to they could keep the charms on her alerting the Ministry when she was using magic.

The realization destroyed her. For Lily's entire life she had the privilege of using magic whenever she saw fit. But once she left there was no going back to it until she finished what fate had started.

Her bracelet's true usage wasn't known to most and Lily would prefer to keep it a secret for the sake of her brothers' children. It was really inevitable that she would have to empty the charms out and let it wilt on her wrist until either she died or the next female Gastor was born.

Pericles seemed to be the only hope for heirs in her family but he was disowned. There was no way Cassius would try to find another girlfriend. Losing a fiancé from a magical betrothal crushed people to the point that they changed forever. Lily had her doubts about Jason fulfilling his duties as heir to the Gastor estate. He was the last son of five; for his entire life Jason never would have had to think of the possibility of becoming heir. Things really did change.

Thinking of Jason brought up the issue of his whereabouts. Her teeth tugged against Lily's lips as she summoned her family ring from the heart charm on her bracelet. She hadn't thought of it in months let alone worn it.

The gold ring caught the daylight breaking through large clouds as Lily toyed with it. Her thumb rubbed the bezel and the simply elegant G on it. Only four people were still capable of wearing this ring. It went from eight to four in less than a year. Half of her family was gone and they left nothing but telltale memories in their wake.

The scent of Marlene's perfume and Emmeline's frayed books caught Lily's attention for a brief second. Her thin fingers curled around the ring and ringlets of hair fell around her ribs. Things were changing but there was always something to hold onto.

Lily knew that putting the ring on would come with consequences but it would be worth knowing if Jason was okay. With trembling fingers, she grasped the ring from her left palm and stretched her fingers out.

A section of her mum's diary flew into Lily's mind._Emotions battle for attention. They'll engulf you and each other in a frenzy too powerful to overcome. But it's never about overcoming your emotions. You're supposed to let them pull you into them so you can accept them_.

The band felt cold against her skin as she slipped it onto her ring finger. A gasp broke from Lily's mind when she let go of the band. Tornados seemed to grow inside of her mind and instinctually Lily curled in on herself.

It surprised her to see the emotion that won the battle wasn't grief or anger. It was desperation; a seemingly poisonous emotion but one that could be deadly. Within a few seconds Lily adjusted to her heightened emotions and was able to press past the boundaries of the ring.

She closed her eyes and could feel four other presences in her mind. One was calm and content. From the orderly mindset it gave off, Lily assumed it was Pericles. The second seemed slightly bolder than the rest. When Lily reached out for it, she could see something hopeless in its form. It embraced her for a few seconds before exploding into a brilliant fire of triumph. Lily knew that that was Cassius from the quiet mournful grace it held. The third was quiet in comparison to the two other ones. It seemed barely there and fading. A choked noise broke from Lily's mind as she watched it turn into a frantic mess of emotions. What was Jason doing?

" Lily are you in here?" a voice called. Lily's concentration broke and the last thing she saw before opening her eyes was a fading light breaking into a dusk presence.

She looked up and blinked hard when her eyes met a pair of rich brown ones. Alice's eyes were filled with concern before they flickered down to Lily's clenched hands. A curse broke from Lily's mouth when Alice's raised her hands to her mouth and paled considerately.

She stood quickly and felt her thoughts process faster than usual. For once she could see why her brothers kept the rings on; it was almost as it their thought process heightened tenfold.

Alice's cropped caramel hair shook as she took shaking steps back. Lily raised her hand in warning and could see Alice's eyes fastened on her ring. She took her wand from her pocket and muttered the reverse charm for the glamour on her birthmark.

Those warm eyes, Alice always had, hardened as the golden-silver form of the Gastor birthmark appeared on Lily's collarbone. Lily's eyes widened as Alice pulled her wand out and held it to Lily's face in a fearful stance.

" Who the hell are you?" Alice demanded in a shaking voice. A putrid feeling filled Lily's gut; Alice never cursed. Her palms started sweating and Lily let her wand fall to the ground. Alice merely pursed her lips.

" I'm your friend Alice," Lily assured. In horror she watched as tears grew in Alice's eyes and a grunted noise broke from her mouth.

" My friend? I don't even know who you are? Is your name even Lily? For Merlin's sake you're not even a muggleborn. Dammit why do you have a pureblood ring and the Gastor birthmark?" Alice retorted.

Her eyes were frantic and Lily remained still. Alice wasn't supposed to find out about her secret. None of them were. But this reaction was too similar to the one Michael had months ago. Lily knew that she had to act with caution.

" You're right I'm not muggleborn. My name is Lily; it's just not Lily Evans. My real name is Lily Gastor. Delphina and William Gastor were my parents. Jason is my brother Alice," Lily quickly explained.

Alice's hand shook and a tear slipped from her eye. " You've lied to us for almost a year! We trusted you Lily but you're nothing but the sister of some of the worst people in this war," Alice hissed.

" No Alice listen to me. They banished me when I was nine. I haven't been a Gastor for six years. I spent my life being past around Europe until the day my parents died. They're my family Alice but they abandoned me," Lily tried.

A harsh laugh cut her off and Lily flinched as Alice walked up to her and pressed her wand against her collarbone. " Don't you understand Lily? It doesn't matter what you're family has done; you will always be a pureblood. You will always carry the Gastor name and the people your family has killed. They abandoned you? Well from the amount of time you spend with Jason it doesn't seem that way," Alice sneered.

" I don't have any family left besides him and my other brothers," Lily protested. The wand pressed against her bone was pushed further. Lily knew it was going to scar.

" You lied to us. Frank was right you're nothing but trouble. Michael is in love with Lily Evans. This is going to break his heart," Alice declared. Lily looked away and Alice stared at her in shock.

" Does he know? Do any of them know?" she asked in a quieter voice. Lily nodded and wrung her hands together.

" Michael's known since March. Marlene found out in September. Emmeline found out at Lucian's funeral and told Adam in November. The Marauders know too," Lily answered in a quiet voice.

Alice was silent for a moment and Lily took the chance to explain what she did. " Alice I didn't deny what my family has done. They're death eaters. Half of them died slaughtering innocents. My mum was one of the founders of the Order of the Phoenix. She raised my brothers and they became soldiers for the side she was fighting. I'm not a death eater Alice. I fight for muggleborns and muggles and anybody being victimized in this war. I was in Beauxabatons last year; that's true. Alice I'm going to tell you something but it needs to stay between us. I was on academic probation last year. I was on the verge of being expelled and my parents would've sent me to Salem if I were. But then I got a letter from Julius saying that they were dead. I took the chance to return to England and start over. If I returned as Lily Gastor do you think anyone would've trusted me or even liked me? Lily Evans is a person too good for me. So I became her and took this chance to make a difference," Lily announced.

Alice's hand was limp as she held the wand up and Lily reached for it. She slid it down to Alice's side and stared into Alice's eyes. They were narrowed slightly and Alice crossed her arms. " You're not the spy in the Order?" she asked in an incredulous voice.

Hurt flickered on Lily's face and she realized where Alice was coming from. " Alice I don't believe in Voldemort's cause. I'm a member of the Order before a Gastor. If there is a spy it isn't me," Lily vowed. She could see some distrust still of Alice's face and sighed.

" My parents kept things from me. I didn't even know that anyone in the family was a part of the purist movement until I was fifteen. Alice they've done things I don't agree with. That's why I'm standing up against them but in my own way," Lily assured.

" I need time Lily. You've told more lies that I can count. I don't know if I can trust you very well but I believe you," Alice sighed. A bubble of relief filled Lily and she smiled softly.

" I'm not a bad person Alice. I've lied so I could make a difference," Lily said. Alice raised an eyebrow and straightened her shirt.

" I have to go Lily. Marlene sent everyone on a hunt for you. She cares about you so don't hurt her. Look, Lies are lies Lily. You could've done everything you've done even if you weren't Lily Evans. Maybe you're scared of truly losing your family no matter what you've told yourself," Alice advised as she left.

Lily stood in the empty dorm staring at the door. She didn't want to believe Alice's words. Alice was a liability but once Lily left she wouldn't have to worry about people blowing her secret.

* * *

It was late when she went to the Great Hall. Considerable amounts of people were absent including the seeker for the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. When Lily saw the lack of Trevor Griffiths at the Gryffindor table and the mournful expressions the Quidditch team wore, a curse slipped from her mouth.

" Where is he?" she asked as she sat on Michael's left. Marlene rubbed her eyes from across from Lily.

" Most people got letters at lunch or in the last few hours. Trevor's parents live in Hogsmeade. His mum was at work in Honeydukes when the death eaters attacked. His dad is in Mungos from the Dementors," Marlene muttered.

Empathy for Trevor filled Lily. But a more prominent issue was at hand. Only one person could play seeker besides Trevor and that was Lily. Potter knew the only line up they could use and when Lily looked up to the Slytherin table she locked eyes with him. Jason sat next to him speaking in a low voice with Dolohov but didn't seem to notice Lily's stare.

Potter's lips picked up in a twisted smirk and Lily narrowed her eyes. She almost forgot about the bet. Losing wasn't an option anymore; this was war.

* * *

**First of all I want to thank all of the people who never gave up on Confingo. We are coming close to the end of Part Two and it breaks my heart to see how Lily has grown as a person. **

**I'm starting another story for Lean on Me that will bring a new light to Pureblood society. Sadly it is not about Delphina and William, but it deals with another couple I've hinted at throughout Confingo.**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	18. Beacons

**Chapter 18 Beacons**

**(Staying Alive)**

* * *

Part One: Don't Cut the Tightrope

Perhaps a note on the last Wednesday before the Holiday Break of Lily's sixth year is needed. Emmeline Vance described it as a day when the war stopped knocking on the walls of Hogwarts in a letter to her brother. She said that the war stopped knocking so long ago. It slipped tendrils through the open windows until it had a strong enough grip to finally choke the sacred grounds of Hogwarts. The war was always there; Hogwarts for all the musings of being able to keep the war out, could not stand against the sheer might of the war against dark forces. It was not the castle but the students who decided to take a stand.

Wednesday December 14, 1976 was the day Evan Rosier saw what his sister really had become. It was the day, Eliza Rosier's façade of mourning and grief was ripped from her shoulders. That Wednesday, Eliza took a stand not just against the death eaters but also against the society she was born into, grew in, and fell in love in.

The fourteenth of December was the day Marcy Webber went from an adoring Marauders' fangirl, to a mess of emotions. Losing a child and the father of the child all in one cruel hour- where did fate draw its line?

December was a month of dreams and a month of nightmares. Lily Evans saw that in so many horrific ways. The world wasn't one made strictly from nightmares or dreams; it was a blurred form of both. But on December 14, 1976 she learned that nightmares are really defined by perceptions of fear. Lily Evans saw that maybe the nightmares haunting her for so long were nothing more than innocent dreams.

_(Build Your Walls)_

_Why do nightmares don the gowns of dreams? My dreams are nothing but awaiting tears and prisons made from anthems. My beautiful tragic family- is this the fate they are doomed to?_

"Why are you always reading that journal?" Emmeline asked from the opposite bed. Lily looked over to her friend and instinctively shut her mum's notebook. Marlene was still showering and Emmeline had just awoken.

With a glance at the blurred stare Emmeline had, Lily knew she woke from better dreams that she herself had. After leaving dinner early the previous night, her body seemed keen to start the next part of her life. By the time Marlene and Emmeline came up to their dorm, a large shining trunk sat near Lily's bed holding all the belongings she deemed worthy of joining her to her next life. The rest of her possessions were kept into two Moleskin bags with undetectable expanding charms. She'd send one to Gastor Manor and the other to the Lilius villa in Greece.

Going through her belongings took a lot of willpower. During her stays in past lives, Lily usually collected a large surplus of belongings she once adored. But in a haste to leave her past lives, they were thrown into her trunk forgotten for years. Nostalgia became a dress she wore long to her knees that previous night.

Some of her belongings made her feel rather stupid though. It was shocking to see that she still had her last uniforms from the Athenian School for Sorcery and Beauxabatons. All of the clothing still fit, although they were rather snug. For once Lily was grateful for her habit of choosing oversized uniforms that held tendency to wrinkle, much to the displeasure of whoever she was staying with at the time.

Remembering the previous night made Lily realize something; she wouldn't have time to finish one last mission here at Hogwarts. Choosing between Michael and Marlene to fulfill her last task was too hard so Lily decided to inform both of them of the knife she found aboard the Hogwarts Express all those months ago. Between Michael's outright cunningness and Marlene's quick thinking, Lily held no doubt that they would be able to find out who left the blood stained blade there.

The sound of the shower stopping in the bathroom broke Lily's thoughts. She turned to Emmeline with a sad expression and rubbed her thumb along the cover of the notebook.

"It's my mum's notebook. I know it's invading her privacy but when I found it I just wanted something of hers to hold onto," Lily explained. Emmeline's fingers twitched towards her own notebook collection and Lily sighed. She didn't want her friend thinking that she took sadistic joy from reading through the utmost private thoughts others had.

Delphina Gastor's notebook was nothing more than Lily trying to reconnect with her mum. Inside she knew that there were things she'd never have. Seeing her brothers' faces grow into the molds of men or experiencing all seven years of Hogwarts were things that Lily could never have. Her mother was just one of those many things.

Emmeline's features shifted slightly and she crossed her legs as she sat on the side of her bed. There wasn't much distance between Emmeline's long pale legs and Lily's crossed ones. If she reached out, her fingers could skim the books cluttering the ground near the bottom of the bed.

"Journals aren't meant for other people's eyes Lily," Emmeline reprehended. A flush rose over Lily's cheeks and she placed the notebook on her side table. A part of her knew that Emmeline was right. But an even stronger part wanted to disregard any form of properness just so she could know who her mother was.

Emmeline's eyes filled with a sympathetic light and she leaned across the divide between their beds to squeeze Lily's hand.

A hand brushed long curls from Emmeline's brow and she said, "I get it, I really do Lily. You want to know who you are- you want to know everything. But everything isn't everything. There are some things that need to be left behind and coated with dust and ash. Tell me, did anything in your mother's notebook really change you? I bet it didn't because reading her notebook does nothing but haunt you with ghosts that don't exist. That journal has a life that you could have had, but not the one you are living."

Embarrassment and realization flooded across Lily's mind. Why didn't she realize this before? What she was doing was beyond wrong; but she needed it like air. Invading her mother's most private thoughts without her permission was so incredibly intrusive. It was nothing like witnessing those memories Professor Dumbledore and her dad left for her- they had permission to share those memories with her for the most part. But Delphina Gastor never gave Lily consent to rip apart her private moments.

The inside of Lily's hands were moist as she nodded and chewed on her bottom lip with a guilty expression. Emmeline knew about notebooks better than most people. Not once did Lily ever dare to read any part of Emmeline's journals. So why was her mother's journal any different?

Maybe Lily thought she had a right to see this notebook but she really did not. The knowledge of her mother's past was great to know and it filled many plot holes from her past but those plot holes and that plot were lives Lily did not lead. Her life wasn't the one Delphina Gastor had. She vowed to do everything possible not to end up like her mother. Giving up so much and taking so much for the sake of love scared Lily.

Love was a poison. It clotted common sense and forced people into a delirium. It forced Lily to change who she really was. She wasn't the type of person to forgive and forgive and forgive. But for love she constantly forgave Jason and even her brothers for the crimes they committed. She would never be able to stop that because she loved them.

Lily loved her friends so she forgave Marlene for breaking Fabian's heart and forgave Michael for all the heartache he gave her. She did this for love; just like her mother forgave the entire world so she could love Lily's dad.

In that single moment Lily knew that she could not afford to do that. Falling in love was a risk too perilous for her to ever consider. Pain and loss were norms in her existence. She'd never be able to allow for more.

Her eyes met Emmeline's steel blue ones with a watery smile and she stood with shaking legs. "I have to do something. I'll meet you lot at breakfast," Lily promised. From the light expression on Emmeline's face, Lily knew that her friend saw what she was doing and was proud of her.

With her bag thrown over one shoulder and the notebook pressed tightly into the opposite hand, Lily exited the dorm and walked down the staircase. Students were bobbing up and down the stairs in low numbers. So many kids left for the holidays early due to funerals of loved ones. There were three first year girls left in their dorm.

The common room gave no sign of the uneasiness in the air. Warm crackling sounds echoed from the fireplace and people sat in low numbers doing work or simply basking in the glory that they would have a holiday break in four days.

It surprised Lily that the Governors decided to have a train leave for King's Cross Station the evening of the Quidditch Match. There would be no possibility for time for a party of any sorts with only hours between the end of the game and the departure of the Hogwart's Express. But with the incident the previous day, the board elected the decision that leaving on Sunday morning was too risky.

After waving to a few students who recognized Lily, she stepped out of the portrait hole and made her way down to the hallway she was looking for. Almost instinctively, her fingers drummed out a nice even rhythm against the surface of her mother's notebook.

She made it to the hallway across from the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy and smiled when a door sat across from the faded tapestry. In a farewell gesture, Lily swept her hair over her shoulder and opened the door to the room.

This time the room wasn't the piano one she needed. It seemed to read her mind and contained a mess of a storage room. The cracked walls were rich in history as far as Lily knew. All sorts of magical items stacked across the room and it seemed endless. All Lily could see across a distant horizon were blurred stacks like the ones in front of her. It was the perfect place for a farewell. Her veins were filled with the adrenaline from the discussion with Emmeline and Lily was more than sure that she no longer needed her mother's notebook.

It wasn't just Emmeline's words that changed her mind- it was something in her heart. She already knew most of the words her mother's rich handwriting entailed by heart. The notes she took in the back were nothing but her own personal quests; she would never be able to give them to someone else.

So many worldly affairs stacked themselves across Lily's back and she wondered if she was like this room, built to suit others' needs and desires instead of one sole purpose. Filled with the burdens that others could not carry and secrets no one wanted.

Her mind was a room like this. Things kept happening that eventually the real issues she was supposed to face were buried under news ones in a twisted endless cycle. Letting go of her mother's burdens and the quest that Delphina Gastor never finished would ease that weight.

The main purposes behind her mother's notebook seemed to be finding ways to fight the cruciatus curse and shield oneself from the killing curse. Both feats were ones Lily was once eager to discover. But that was months ago and things changed so quickly. She knew that her life hadn't been involved with her mother's for years but Delphina Gastor was still her mother- she was her past.

"I'm sorry mum that I can't forgive you for letting me go. Maybe one day I'll be able to let go of you and dad and the Gastors, but today Gastor is who I am," Lily whispered to the broken room.

No one answered her and she walked through the stacks of books, desks, clothing, and trinkets. Tears did not come to Lily's eyes; this wasn't saying goodbye or letting go, this was release, sweet sweet release.

When she came to a point where Lily could barely see the door, her fingers raised the journal to her lips and Lily said her last words for the mother who loved her enough to not be her mother.

"I don't know you and I think I never really will know you. But maybe I'm supposed to remember fading hugs and the blurred color of your hair. Maybe I'm not supposed to try and remember memories that never happened and ones that really aren't mine. Mum you did so much for me so I could be free. But my heart is scattered across the world in so many people's souls, most of which are here, in England. This is my home and I'll give up my freedom for it. I'll give up my life for the people I loved just like you did. I'll do all of it because I'm in love with people who can make angels cry and light up the grayness that this world is. I'm ready to say goodbye to Delphina Lilius, I don't think I've ever seen someone so alive," Lily declared.

With shaking breaths and hell on her shoulders, Lily's eyes fluttered shut and she whirled her hand back, chucking the last remnants of Delphina Lilius into a room filled with broken lost things.

_(Hide the truth… Shelter you)_

"Only because it's your birthday I'm letting you take the last cinnamon scone," Emmeline grumbled from next to Lily. Gideon ruffled his short hair and smiled a toothily lopsided grin at the begrudging girl.

"Thanks Emmy, too bad your birthday is during the break," he commented as he popped a chunk of the golden delicacy into his mouth. A noise of contentment broke from his mouth and Emmeline sniffed as she took a sip of her black coffee.

"Leave my girlfriend alone Prewett. She's already bitter about spending the break with Rick," Adam revealed. Lily's ears prickled at the news of Emmeline's estranged brother and she abandoned the conversation with Marlene and Frank to listen to the budding one with Emmeline.

A frown sat on Alice's face and her eyes skimmed over Lily's figure to meet her best friend's eyes. "Rick's coming home for the holidays?" she asked in a concerned voice. Emmeline nodded and traced a pattern against the worn wood of the Gryffindor table.

Blue and black stains, from an essay she'd been writing when Lily came down to the hall from her little goodbye event, covered Emmeline's elegant long fingers. All of the Gryffindors, save for Fabian and Michael, who were serving a detention at the time, were present at the breakfast following what was known as Black Tuesday to most of the Wizarding World.

The hall was buzzing although slightly subdued. Professor Flitwick and Professor Vector led a group of Prefects in putting up decorations after dinner the previous day to bring about spirits again.

A light smile rested on Lily's drawn pursed lips when she saw Tonks sitting with a mixed group of Ravenclaws and Gryffindors in her year. Malfoy merely glared across the hall at a wall from the sight of the interhouse bonding taking place.

Snow began to pound to the ground in light flurries and only the light offered by floating candles brought the contorting lines of shadows to Abraxas Malfoy's bitter face. It was clear for most of the hall to see that even their domineering replacement of a headmaster was getting worm by the war.

A gasp escaped Lily's mouth when someone pulled her hair from the tight knot she secured it into that morning. She turned away from the Gryffindors' conversation as his hair fell in sleek locks around her shoulders and down to tickle the edge of her ribs. A smirk sat on Michael's face as he examined her blush-covered face.

But it faded to a concerned expression as his eyes lit up in contrasting glows. Lily's skin heated up when his thick warm hand reached to caress her cheek in a soft gesture. The pad of his thumb brushed a lock of blood-red hair from Lily's face.

"You look so much younger with your hair down," he explained. Heart flooded into Lily's face and her tongue caught on the roof of her mouth when Michael's hand knotted into her hair.

By that time most of the hall seemed to notice the budding affection between her and Michael. Heated glares burrowed into Lily's back from the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. She could even feel her friends pause in their conversation when a ghost of a smile trickled onto Michael's face.

But not a single butterfly rose to Lily's stomach and Michael's eyes filled with sharp disappointment when her eyes remained the same distant guarded form. With a tilt of Lily's head, her eyes locked with Michael's warm ones and a cry of shock bubbled in them. There were tears growing in his eyes; Michael Wood never cried not even when he was being tortured to the verge of death. So what could have possibly made him cry now?

"When you were in France did you happen to meet a girl named Abilene Lestrange?" Michael asked. A frown landed on Lily's face but so did relief. He wasn't going to say or ask for anything Lily could not give him. She nodded weakly and he let go of her hair and swallowed.

It was then that Lily noticed the pale color of his face and the bags deep under his eyes from a sleepless night. His teeth bit into his bottom lip and he looked at her nervously.

"Do you know where she's staying by any chance?" Michael asked in a croaking voice. Lily stood and looked behind her back to the sea of people in the hall. She made eye contact with Sirius Black who looked at Michael's hand with something close to revulsion.

To Lily's distaste, the person sitting directly across from Black turned and hazel eyes flew to her emerald ones. The world seemed to fade back and seas pulled apart everything Lily knew as James Potter's eyes never left hers.

Something changed- something changed and she never noticed it. A terrifying fear burned in her throat and screamed for the release she could not give it. He was a monster, James Potter could have been the devil, he really was the devil. But something inside of Lily broke in that single stare, something was different.

Maybe it was the way her heart sped up and how her lips twitched to spread into a smile. Or maybe it was the fact that Potter's eyes weren't filled with a controlling edge that terrified her.

Those hazel storms caught sight of the hand Michael had on Lily's cheek and narrowed. They flashed up and Lily pulled from Michael's grip. She turned away from the heated stare that Potter's eyes always had and the way he lounged in the Great Hall like a King of Everything.

Like a startled animal, her fingers tugged the worn bag she carried from under the bench she previously occupied. With large doe eyes Lily stumbled from the Gryffindor table and met Michael's eyes.

" We were roommates and she could paint. That's all I know. I've got to go now, I'll see you in Potions," Lily mumbled. She retreated from the Great Hall like a lost doe in a forest of demons.

Gasping breaths broke from her lungs as she clumsily walked into an abandoned corridor. The Runes classroom was inches from her stance as Lily fell to the ground in a mess of mangled limbs. Why did Michael bring up Abilene Lestrange? She fisted locks of hair into her hands and pressed her face against her stocking-clad knees.

Abilene Lestrange with her translucent skin and pert nose forever twisted in a look of superiority. With Benedict Auclair and Michael bringing up the ghost of Lily's past she groaned. Abilene Lestrange, the girl who transferred to Beaxabatons only months before Lily left.

She used to be a queen at Hogwarts and an innocent one in comparison to the twisted ways of Beauxabatons. Drumstrang made no effort to hide its darkness and Hogwarts wore its bad ways like a tight little skirt. Beauxabatons only let nightfall deem when the perfect little rich children of Europe could wreak havoc. The victory parties the Marauders threw looked like a tea party with grandparents present in comparison to the standard affairs of a student at Beauxabatons.

Lily had long since claimed her role in the party lives of her classmates. With the school built against the backdrop of the Pyrenees Mountains, there were ample locations to host elaborate revelries that cost enough to supply a middle class lifestyle for years on end. In Lily's fourth year she joined in on the gatherings her classmates threw at school and even during the holidays.

Being an outsider herself, she took instant empathy to Abilene Lestrange when the girl first arrived. Luckily, Lily had taken her mother's maiden name when she attended Beaxabatons. Abilene had no idea that the red haired roommate with a certain rule over their classmates was related to the golden boys of pureblood society in England.

Abilene really didn't look the part of a Lestrange. Lestranges were tall angular people with haughty expressions and a certain distaste for anything with emotions. With skin pale enough for Lily to see veins and a build inches smaller than Lily's, Abilene looked like a lamb ready for the slaughter. Add onto Abilene's burden, features almost porcelain-like and a delicate face she was doomed to collapse under the world of Beaxabatons.

Benjy reacted with amusement when Lily declared that the porcelain raven-haired girl would be taken under their wing. Turns out that everybody, no matter how faint and small had a dark side. To Lily's utter disgust the small girl tried to undermine her in October by spreading rumors of Lily having syphilis. And so started the famous Lestrange vs Lilius war.

Abilene began taunting Lily for her name. A ghost of a leer formed on Lily's features when she remembered the shrill voice of Abilene Lestrange declaring that Lily Lilius was a ridiculous name. Only seconds later, Abilene was gifted with one of Lily's pink hair charms.

The war was still being fought when Lily left for the holidays to Auclair Manor. The assumption she took was that Abilene took over her old position like a Cheshire Cat. She'd never thought to see the snub little ice queen again but from the letter Benjy left for her, it looked like Lily would have to face her antagonistic protégée.

Her thoughts and ghosts turned to ash when someone yanked her up from the ground. With a noise of protest, Lily's nose bumped into a chest and her legs knotted together. Managing to catch herself before falling into someone, Lily looked up with a scowl.

It disappeared when she met Sirius Black's cool stormy gray eyes. Something in them looked heightened and Lily backed from his stance in front of her. He raised an eyebrow at her flushed mussed form before shaking his curls out.

"I'm on Lily watch today," he explained before gesturing to the hallway. Lily rolled her eyes and pulled the strap of her bag over her shoulder. Potter had no right to do this.

"Black I'm fine really. Potter is being ridiculous," Lily declared with a raised chin. Sirius looked positively bored as he walked a few feet behind Lily.

"James didn't send me Red. I overheard my brother and some of his idiot friends discussing possible mudbloods to do their test on. Your name came up more than once and knowing Gaston Goyle, he'd probably try doing the killing curse in Hogwarts," Black explained.

Lily could imagine him frowning when she whirled around to meet his gaze with a cold one of her own. Those silver eyes were surrounded by legions of storms when Lily narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms.

"This is a school Black not some death eater free for all. Tell me something. How would you feel if purebloods were being persecuted and used for the amusement of others? How would you feel if one by one, everybody who is like you is used to pass a bloody test?" Lily demanded.

Nothing changed in his eyes as he leaned down so his face was only a foot or so from Lily's. She watched him with a sneer on her face before finally a cold smirk slipped onto Black's face.

"The world isn't a fair place Red. Some people will always be persecuted and I hope you know that if this was happening to me and my friends then we would have some pride and fight for ourselves and others," Sirius answered.

His answer was too perfect. It was so perfect that a bubble of laughter escaped Lily's mouth and turned into long peals of laughter. Sirius Black, the demon manwhore of Slytherin, unintentionally just said that he empathized with muggleborns being victimized.

Black stood there with shadows of snowflakes crossing his figure watching Lily. She paused in her laughter and managed to shoot him a mocking glare.

"Come on Black I'd rather not be late for the last Potions class before break. I'm sure Slughorn would be in hysterics if Prince Black didn't show up to class either," Lily declared with a twinkle in her eye.

She turned from Black and after a few seconds he caught up to her with an easy gait. Sometimes Lily really did hate Sirius Black but there was something beyond poetic about his presence. It was like standing in the eye of a storm and feeling butterflies in her stomach but never worrying about the clouds coming over her. Lily wondered if Marlene could ever feel that way about Sirius.

What he did was inexcusable but whenever Lily brought up the incident with him, something in the air shifted. There were two sides to that story and Lily fully intended to find out Black's part before she left England.

In the meantime, she had a potion to brew.

_(Almost there)_

As the bell rang ending the Potions class, Lily finished packing her Potions Kit and Cauldron. She made it to class just in time for attendance and managed to save the Elixir to Induce Euphoria that Marlene started brewing without her. It wasn't the best potion she could have made, but Slughorn gave it an Outstanding with a declaration of holidays impeding her usual standard of potion brewing.

A sneeze flew from her nose when Lily caught a whiff of Marlene's extremely potent perfume. She raised an eyebrow after her friend muttered a bless you.

"Trying to impress anyone?" she called after slinging the frayed bag over her shoulders. A rare blush managed to sneak onto Marlene's face and she elbowed Lily.

"No," Marlene mumbled. She cleared her throat and looked over at Lily with a sudden grin of chaos. One of Marlene's red-painted fingers reached out and tugged on a free lock of Lily's hair.

"Trying to get Potter's attention?" she called with a teasing tone. Lily's blush was ten times worse than Marlene's as they pushed their seats in and moved to the door. Slughorn had Matilda Stone in a tight embrace and Lily tried not to grimace.

"No Michael took my hair out during breakfast and I didn't have time to put it up," Lily explained. Her eyes flickered across the room where Michael was packing his belongings up. Alex Demebly, a well-built Ravenclaw who played as Chaser for the Ravenclaw team, was speaking to Michael in a passionate tone that led Lily to believe they were speaking about Quidditch.

It was a well-known fact that if Justin Davies hadn't gotten Captain's position then Alex would have. But if the rumors were true, then the Bats may scout Alex early during the Ravenclaw game against whoever won the next match. Lily hoped it would be Gryffindor, Gideon and Fabian would need to be seen by people in the league to secure a good contract.

From her own experience with Julius's mess of a scouting period, Lily knew that these things could be tricky. She'd only been three years old at the time but the anticipation of letters in the Gastor household, during Julius's Easter Holidays, still sat in her mind.

She and Marlene made it to where Slughorn stood wishing Diggory a good holiday. The hairs on the back of Lily's neck shot up when she felt a heavy gaze. Not bothering to turn and meet Potter's stare, Lily plastered a wide toothy smile on and walked up to Slughorn.

His face lit up at the sight of her and he cleared his throat. "Lovely I hope you've had time to reconsider the offer to attend my Holiday Party Friday evening," Slughorn chirped. Lily smiled sadly and with such dramatics that she could feel Michael rolling his eye behind her.

"I'm horribly sorry Professor, but as I've told you I've got a Quidditch game in the morning and cannot afford to spend the evening before the match not preparing," Lily explained. Slughorn's eyes dimmed but then lit up at the sight of someone behind her.

"But Lovely look at Mr. Potter. He's in the same position as you and has assured me that he will be available to attend the get together. I must truly insist that you try and come in for a few minutes at least. Many acclaimed people will be present, I even managed to get an old student to come in. He's been out of country working in a hospital abroad. Mr. Gastor's brother, Pericles a well-renowned Healer, has vowed to attend this get together," Slughorn explained.

The color slipped from Lily's face and her jaw fell for a minute. Pericles had not dared to respond or bother to write to her. All of the news she got from Greece seemed to be from Selena, rather than her own blood.

Lily shot back and craned her head around to meet Jason's stare. But he wasn't there; he was still missing. Taking the chance to see Pericles was worth going to one of Slughorn's horrid parties in Lily's mindset.

Lily clenched her jaw and brushed a lock of her hair back. She smiled and shook Slughorn's hand before stepping over the doorway.

"I'll be sure to try and come. But I can't make any promises," Lily insisted. But that was enough for Slughorn to let out a giddy sound and clap his hands together merrily.

"Excellent Lily! I'll introduce you to all of the best people in the ministry. I'm sure that between your grades and my recommendation we'll secure you a job in the Potions Fold," Slughorn called. Lily didn't even bother to tell him that she had no plans of getting a career in Potions. But he did have something to dream for.

While they were walking from the Dungeons to the DADA classroom, Marlene finally spoke. With Michael on one side and Marlene on the other, Lily felt thoroughly annoyed. One was a ticking time bomb and the other was Michael Wood, the definition of sporadic.

"So when do you and old Sluggy plan on tying the knot?" Marlene teased. Michael stifled his laughter and Lily rolled her eyes as they reached the entrance hall.

"Piss off McKinnon, I don't tease you about Professor Flitwick," Lily snapped. Marlene looked horrified and proceeded to hit Lily with a textbook.

"That's not funny, Professor Flitwick may think that I'm completely daft at Charms but at least he doesn't smother me like a puppy. I mean sure he gives me points for simply trying but still," Marlene declared.

It was a common fact that while Marlene McKinnon was good with Transfiguration and incredible on the Quidditch Pitch, she had no aptitude for Charms. Lily knew that Marlene barely made it into the NEWT class and that was with hours of tutoring from Professor Flitwick. It was good to see how hardworking Marlene could really be if she wanted something, like a future being a Healer.

"Anyways are either of you going?" Lily asked with a hopeful tone. Michael patted her shoulder sympathetically and laughed.

"There's a pregame party Evans in Gryffindor Tower. I think you're the only person going to Slughorn's little soirée from Gryffindor," Michael explained. Running a hand along the railing, Lily shot him a frown.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" she asked. They rounded the corner and walked a tad faster to reach the DADA classroom just in time.

"Because you would've made us practiced. Don't worry no one on the team is going to drink. We can't afford a loss," Michael answered. Lily nodded and saw that most of the room was filled. They slid into the only available seats along the second to last row in the back. Quickly, Lily tried switching seats with Michael but the bell rang, making her sit right in front of Potter.

She could see the back of Alex Moody as he looked out the window. Something seemed different about the auror. His golden robes looked slightly wrinkled and when he turned Lily could see the exhaustion settling over him. Galen was one of his closest friends in England. Vaguely, Lily wondered if he knew anything more on Galen's condition. Their eyes locked for a second and Lily blinked in surprise from the sudden hardening of those light blue eyes. Did she do something?

"Sorry but Professor Kingsmill didn't leave much notes on his course. Erm with his condition I haven't been able to contact him so after talking with the seventh year students, they informed me that a large part of the Hogwarts Sixth and Seventh year curriculum is mastering the Patronus Charm. Now I know from personal experience how difficult it can be to master this particular charm. So I've decided to change the lesson plans," Moody started.

He licked his lips and moved to the front of the room. The concise steps he took looked slightly warped and Lily wondered why he wasn't at breakfast that morning. She leaned forward in her seat and he looked above her with a frown.

"Mr. Black please wake Mr. Lupin," he ordered. Lily turned and heard laughter as she saw the slumped position Remus Lupin took. She turned back to the front of the room where Moody looked slightly perturbed.

"It's a pain really learning the Patronus Charm. But the benefits of knowing it are incredible. So while we walk to the practical classroom, please choose a memory that whenever you think of makes you smile," Moody explained.

The class followed him from the room and Lily found herself separated from Marlene and Michael. Cressida and Cecilia stood near her with haughty expressions as they whispered loudly to each other.

"Come on Cecilia, I'm not going to tell anyone," Cressida begged. Lily glanced at the paler brunette who wore a reluctant expression that was filled with submission.

"Fine just don't tell anyone. Cissy will kill me if people find out that she and Lucius have been unable to have kids," Cecilia consented. Lily internally tuned the conversation out. Most of her class managed to master the Patronus Charm but she was still one of the last to accomplish the complex spell.

All of her good memories were filled with something haunting. Something always ruined them so where was she supposed to find a memory that made her smile and didn't make her cry at the same time?

Loud laughter interrupted her train of thought as she stood in the Practical Room. Lily could see Marlene's golden retriever Patronus being chased by the form of Sirius Black's large shaggy black dog Patronus.

She smiled as the two locked eyes for a mere second. But something filled Marlene's eyes and her Patronus faded away. She could feel someone watching her and looked up. Potter's lips were turned up slightly and he pulled the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows showing long sinewy arms.

His hair was a mess and he ran a hand through it with a cocky air. But for some reason it didn't bother Lily. Butterflies danced to a nebulic tone in her stomach and she wanted this more than anything. She wanted to do the Patronus Charm and show everybody that she did not lead a tragedy of a life.

So Lily looked and looked before Potter's lips pulled up into a genuine smile as he watched her raise her wand. The butterflies swelled low and the sounds of students struggling with the charms faded as Potter's eyes twinkled like the north stars Lily needed to stay up. Maybe she didn't need a memory after all.

Nothing was there and at the same time Lily could feel everything. It was an idea but she mentally willed James to keeping looking at her; his eyes never left hers for a second. Taking a deep breath, Lily licked her lips and raised the wand she called her own for years.

With James' lips pulled into that smile and the feeling of her heart bleeding something that felt a whole lot like love, Lily opened her mouth and commanded that moment.

"Expecto Patronum," she declared. Her voice was steady as James's eyes that never left hers even when the blue mist pooled from her wand. A burst of triumph filled her at the sight of the mist but it wasn't enough.

Shadows leapt from his face to give Lily a clear pathway to his soul. She could see him and she could feel something inside of her. The air became clearer and the world seemed to shift in a musically sort of way.

The mist started to shift and anticipation pumped through Lily's veins. She wanted this- no she needed this. She had to see what animal her soul looked like. She willed it so much that Lily did not notice the silence engulfing the room as her mist pulsated with light.

But then James's eyes turned from hers and the mist that was building into a creature suddenly faded away. Agony and frustration painted a canvas across Lily's cheeks as she stared at the empty spot. She was so close and yet it was still so far away.

"Good try Lily," Marlene managed to whisper from nearby. Lily sighed and shot her an appreciative smile. Narrowing her eyes, she looked across the room to see what took Potter's attention. A cold pit filled her mind when she saw Cressida fawning her eyes at Potter.

"Evans," a gruff voice said. She turned from the scene to see whoever, thankfully, took her attention. From up close, Lily could see that Alex Moody had not shaved in at least a day.

"Auror Moody," she greeted cautiously remembering the last conversation she had with Moody. He tucked his hands into the pockets of his robe and met her eyes with a cool gaze.

"Good Patronus, in time you'll be able to form a corporeal," he commented. Lily raised an eyebrow and toyed with her tie.

"Not good enough for someone who trained with French Aurors though," she answered. Moody's blank face tilted into a small smile before a look of exhaustion overcame it.

"Look have you given any thought to what I told you a month ago?" Moody asked. Lily frowned and let go of her tie.

"About the Auclair Manor burning? Yes I have, it's a good thing really. Now I can sleep peacefully with knowing there aren't any ghosts haunting that place and the muggles," Lily answered.

Moody looked taken aback before vexation crossed his face. He pulled his hands from his pockets and folded them over his chest.

"Look I know what happened to Darcy Auclair's will. What makes it different to keep the townhouse but not the Manor? You've surely got more than enough money to buy the property back. If you don't want it just donate it to some wizarding museum or something," Moody replied.

"I hardly think this is your place to advise me on what I do with my money. I sold the Manor because I hate Manors. Always have and always will. I understand the whole Wizarding heritage stuff really but that Manor had no blood successors to succeed it. I also never planned to return to France for that reason. I actually tried to avoid it," Lily said in a low voice.

Moody's face shifted and he composed it to lean in so no one could hear them. "Just because Darcy Auclair managed to clear up some of the shit you and his son pulled at school together doesn't mean the rest of France forgot. You should try to make up for your past, not sever it off. I'm sure some of the people at that party were scarred that night. You got off clean while at least three of your classmates died Lily. Don't you think you owe it to them to try and do some good for their world? France is in chaos with all the giant and troll attacks. Donate some money and maybe check in on your old classmates, it won't do you any bad Lily," Alex whispered.

Lily narrowed her eyes and knew that at one point in her life she would get wrinkles. Leaning back she heard the bell ring and did not break eye contact with Moody.

"I did stupid stuff in France. Don't think for a second I haven't done something for the families. Benjy and I we- well we did our parts for the families and worked so bloody hard to have their names cleared. I'm trying to leave that behind Moody so stop kicking up dust," Lily snapped.

"It's a mess Lily, France is getting hit pretty hard. Voldemort's practically taken over the Ministry and since Dumbledore left, he's been having a hell of a time massacring innocents. So he's turned his attention to other places, including France. People like Darcy Auclair held up the country in the early phases of the war. But they're lost and I think I need to go home," He said in a wistful voice.

Something in Lily strained to protest but a larger part knew better. Everybody always left her in the end so why prolong the inevitable with Alex Moody? She looked at him with a curious stare before clearing her voice.

"How long has France been your home?" she asked. The distinct undertones of his periwinkle eyes glowed at the thought of home. Lily knew it was true from the smile curling on his face and the way his eyes glowed, from the mere mentioning of France; Alex Moody was not meant to be here in England. He merely came to fight a war that he thought was his, but his war was somewhere closer to heart and wholeness.

"I left Hogwarts in my fifth year right after I got my OWL results. It didn't matter that I got the same exact OWLS as Alastor to my parents. Because in their eyes Alastor was the savior of the damned and I was hidden in his shadow. It didn't matter that he wasn't even my mother's son or that he could never be heir to them. At first it was about trying to get light and France almost blinded me. But then it became about finding out who I am without Alastor and the entire Moody family's shadow covering me. Simply, I found a home Lily and I can only hope that one day you find one that makes you fight for it," he explained.

From his musings, Lily seemed sure that it was the first time Auror Moody had said those words aloud. They didn't seem planned and withdrawn, but rather raw and powerful. But a sad smile, which seemed almost identical to Moody's, slipped onto Lily's face. Her home wasn't a single place; it was a collection of people that all came to one thing in the end, her. Her heart was handed to the people who loved her no matter what she'd done. And maybe her home was in the cemetery at Godric's Hallow or it was in the stone walls of Hogwarts, but Lily knew that she had a home worth fighting for.

Grabbing her bag from the ground, she faced Moody with a look of friendliness. They were not the friends that they could have been, but Alex Moody could truly empathize and understand Lily's existence to some degree. He was friends with Galen and that counted for something in Lily's book. England would mourn his departure but it would bounce back together as it always did.

"Your council was worthwhile but I don't have a home in France like you do anymore. My heart is here with these people and I know you think that I'm still nostalgic for France but I'm not. I'm ready to move on from it and I think that you're ready to leave England behind too," Lily explained.

She stretched a hand out and the man with no more shadows to cower under stared at it before shaking it. Moody let go and Lily's hand fell to her side as she glanced at the clock.

"I'll be leaving Hogwarts right after the Quidditch Match on Saturday Evans, do me some pride. During my time in Gryffindor the Quidditch team won four straight house cups," Moody said as he strolled out the door.

Lily remained standing in the classroom for a few seconds before starting to walk down to the Great Hall where her friends sat eating and laughing. Alex Moody answered the question she wanted to know since he revealed that he once attended Hogwarts; He was a Gryffindor and unlike Lily, was once truly veiled by the shadow of his family.

* * *

Part Two: My Soul to Keep

Only the light offered by candles lit up the Great Hall. Outside a snowstorm brought horrific flurries down to their small world. Lily was filled with a desire to sit by a window and watch the snow pelt down to the ground. Some things in life were so simplistically beautiful.

"Lily are you even listening to me?" Marlene demanded with a mockingly annoyed expression. Rich jewel eyes clashed with the tempestuous demanding ones of Marlene McKinnon. A sheepish expression covered Lily's face as Michael and Marlene laughed at her absent-minded behavior.

Good-naturedly, Michael reached out and tugged one of Lily's locks. She glared at him before sweeping the titan hair from her shoulders. She knew it was a mistake to sit next to Michael Wood, especially with her hair out.

"Anyways, like I was saying, you could always ask Amos to the Slugclub," Marlene suggested. Lily pondered this before shaking her head.

"I'm not taking a date. I would have taken one of you guys but all of you are going to that pregame party," Lily complained. Marlene shook her head and the high ponytail that her hair was in, hit Gideon's face.

"Oi McKinnon some of us are trying to eat food not hair," he grumbled. Marlene merely rolled her eyes before rotating in her seat so she was facing his side.

"Lily doesn't want to take a date to Slughorn's party," she explained. Gideon made a face as he consumed some of the food from his plate. He turned to Lily and looked over her figure with a speculating eye.

"I'll go with you," he offered. Lily raised an eyebrow but Gideon already returned to his food. Marlene remained gaping at their friend before Lily cleared her throat.

"Are you sure I mean you'll miss the pregame party," Lily asked in an incredulous tone. A shrug rolled off of Gideon's broad shoulders and he took a sip of his pumpkin juice.

"It's not much to miss Lily. I mean all that happens at Gryffindor parties is either Michael getting drunk enough to try and take the entire Ravenclaw team on in a muggle duel or Adam and Emmeline defile the couches. Oh and the occasional drunken strip tease from my brother," he said with a half smile.

Marlene looked slightly pleased as she cut into her food. "Well that takes care of your date issue. Now onto other matters, blue wedges or black ones for the party?" Marlene asked.

Before Lily could answer, a letter fell from the expanse of the ceiling to her plate. Wiping the food from it, Lily looked up and paled when she caught the silver form of Amalthea, Selena's hawk. The bird flew from view and Lily turned to the letter and ripped it open. The sapphire blue ink on the parchment did little to comfort her ill at ease mind.

_Dear Flower,_

_I just got word of my brother's condition from that inept hospital you have in England. Dad is besides himself fretting over Galen. He's planning on making a trip over to your home so be prepared for a visit during your holidays. Dad really doesn't think that your healers know what they are doing. They just sent an owl to his hospital requesting for Galen's health records when his body rejected the blood-replenishing potion he was given. Seriously did they not know about that incident with the werewolves? It's common knowledge here that anyone scratched by a werewolf can't use blood-replenishing potions without asphodel extract._

_The reason behind my letter isn't to rant about my concerns for Galen. You must have enough on your plate without me dropping this last note off. Your brother is in Athens. Not Pericles, I mean he's here __too __and doing greatly. I mean Cassius. I'm not suppose__d __to tell you about this but something is off about him. Ever since he got here Pericles has been disappearing every night. They both look horrible._

_I'm not one to judge quickly Lils but __I have a strange feeling about it__. He refuses to leave Pericles' apartment without taking Polyjuice Potion and is extremely paranoid. There's also a lovely section of his arm sliced off- might I add that seeing Cassius Gastor's raw flesh wasn't exactly the best thing to wake up to. Its right along his inside arm and he refuses to use magic to heal it. Says that the only way for everything to be fixed is with the muggle way._

_I hope all of you Gastors don't act like this. I mean sure you're pretty grim and cynical but that's in a cute way. And Pericles broods way too much but something is off about your brother Cassius._

_I'm going back to school soon as we don't get Christmas off here. I hope you'll be able to come here soon and bring Galen along with you. Things aren't looking so good around here. With all the werewolf attacks and Dementor cases, the Ministry wants Galen back._

_Professor Gladstone came around. She wanted me to tell you that she's going north near the Alps. Apparently there's a trail that Greyback's sire is in the area. She wants to pay the wolf a visit considering the fact that Fenir Greyback is on a slaughtering rampage across the entire island of Britain._

_She also said something about the flowers in your grandmum's garden. Said to tell me to tell you to make sure they didn't grow too much and if they did maybe it was time to prune them or pull them out. Strange thing, I mean Professor Gladstone was pretty strange._

_I've got to go flower, dad's downstairs trying to book a muggle flight to England. I'd prefer for him __not to__ fly in one of those muggle death balls._

_Write back soon, I need all the details of the dress you ordered from Perengelle's for that Christmas Party!_

_Love Selena_

Lily's fingers traced the frayed parchment and the bright blue ink Selena favored. The words of her oldest friend worried her slightly; what on earth was Cassius doing in Greece?

Instinctively, Lily looked up to the Slytherin table. Jason was still absent and that gnawed away at her stomach. But Potter and Black didn't give her a reason to really worry. In fact they were back to what they did best; keeping the female population of Hogwarts entertained.

A snort escaped Lily's mouth as she watched Black shake his curls out and girls around the hall sigh in sorrow. Their favorite bachelor was about to be tied down to the junior ice queen of Gryffindor; Marlene McKinnon.

Glancing in Marlene's direction gave Lily no reassurance. It was unbearable to stare at the heavy bags buried beneath her friend's eyes or the skin stretched tightly over her face. From the way Marlene poked at her food, Lily was sure that she hadn't eaten in days.

"Oi Evans! You playing seeker on Saturday?" Amos Diggory called from across the aisle. His voice brought a bit of silence to the hall; everybody was desperate to hear the Gryffindor line up. Lily looked towards Slytherin and saw that the silence had spread over to where the Marauders sat. Potter was pretending to be impassive, but she could see fervor in his eyes.

Turning from the bowl of fruit and plate of pudding she had been eating, Lily faced Diggory with a sly smile and tilted her head up for the entire hall. To make the population of Hogwarts less worried, Lily would have carried the bloody moon on her back. This wasn't much easier.

"Sorry Diggory but I'm not playing seeker for the game. I may not even play at all," Lily revealed. Eyes narrowed and gasps were thrown around the hall. A suspicious expression sat on Amos's face but his eyes never stopped twinkling; he knew why they were doing this.

"What do you mean Evans? Are you really that suicidal? The entire school would murder you if you let your team play a man down?" Amos asked. Lily threw her head back in a peal of fake laughter that seemed sweetly musical.

"Gryffindor will have seven people on that pitch at the start of the game Diggory. I'm thinking of putting McGonagall in as seeker though. The other day I spent detention cleaning out the trophy room. The trophies she won are the reasons my hands will never be the same again. I swear she's won more than all the teams have for the past decade," Lily exaggerated.

At first people laughed this off and with the joking grin on Lily and Amos's faces it seemed true. But then someone stood at the Slytherin table. Heads turned to face the opposition and gasped at the smirk plastered on James Potter's perfect titan features.

He dolefully slumped his shoulders and ran a hand through his hair. Hazel eyes locked with Lily's brilliant forest ones and he licked his lips. "Evans a little to coy to tease the entire hall like that? I'll make a deal with you. You tell me what position you're playing Saturday and I'll let you chose mine," Potter declared.

Whispers broke across the hall and students gawked at Lily waiting for a reaction. With her lips torn under her teeth Lily turned to look at her team. Gideon and Frank seemed to encourage her from their nods and Adam and Marlene's rapid mouthing's of go for it only encouraged her more. When Lily looked over at Fabian he merely shrugged and let her know that he didn't care. But Michael wouldn't make eye contact with her. She narrowed her eyes slightly and he lifted his bowed head.

One glance at Michael's eyes gave his response away. A scoff broke from Lily's lips and she rolled her eyes. Why was Michael being so cautious? This was a great offer Potter made. The sound of her hair swooshing in the air as she turned to meet Potter's eyes was the only one in the hall for a minute.

"I'm seeking Potter and so are you," Lily announced in a crisp voice. Silence flickered like a candle in the Great Hall as students waited for Potter's response. The clear amusement and delight in his eyes would have frightened anyone else. But Lily was not like others. A cocky little dreamer like James Potter wouldn't scare her.

"Well Evans I'm looking forward to having more than the snitch in my hands by the end of the game," Potter answered. A reaction was something Lily could not afford. His words brought a sensation of fear and anticipation as Lily nodded and fake-cockily smirked.

"We'll see about that Potter. After all I did score more points than you did last game. I doubt you'd be able to even go within twenty feet of a snitch. They're awfully aware of presences and your ego's about a mile wide," Lily drawled.

Potter didn't look even the slightest bit embarrassed as waves of laughter rippled from the crowd. Today their king became their jester for a one-time joke. He let them laugh for a minute before letting ice settle over his eyes and frighten the entire hall from daring to make a move.

"Don't get too ahead of yourself Evans. I did a little digging and found out about your last game at Beauxabatons. I didn't know you were the type to show up to games intoxicated. Isn't alcohol saved for the after parties?" Potter taunted.

People looked towards her with shocked stares and a flush pooled over Lily's cheeks. Her fists were clenched tightly and she could barely see Remus from the corner of her eyes shooting Potter warning looks.

Potter's words were law in Hogwarts and he just informed the entire school that innocent Lily Evans was nothing but a dirty little liar. The pointed stares of Cressida and Cecilia made Lily roll her eyes; she didn't care what they thought.

But Potter knew the truth. She trusted him with too much information and he betrayed her. Looking into her time at Beauxabatons was a big mistake. The three years Lily spent at Beauxabatons were not her more prideful moments. Especially considering the fact that she created the monster that Benjamin Auclair turned into.

Her eyebrows furrowed together and Lily pushed those memories away. She frowned and met Potter's eyes with a deadly stare. He took this too far; this wasn't supposed to be a game of real swords, only paper ones were allowed.

"Actions speak louder than words Potter and by Saturday the entire school will know that the great James Potter couldn't beat a muggleborn. I wonder what your family would think about that. Oh wait! That's right they're dead. You're lucky that your parents can't see how pathetic and disgusting their precious son turned out to be," Lily spat.

It was too much. A volcano of anger erupted in one sudden burst from Potter's eyes and Lily felt nothing but guilt. But it was too late to take back her words. They cut a whole in Potter's mangled heart that would never really heal.

The color wiped from Lily's skin when the hall broke into heated stares at her. They were upset and well justified. Lily Evans the muggleborn stubborn goody-goody just insulted their king; justice had to be served.

Potter's icy expression did not leave his face as he began walking in an electric gait over to the Gryffindor table. The other Gryffindors cowered back as his emerald green tie neared their brilliant red table. No one across the hall dared to move. James Potter was a predator and interrupting his hunt could result in death all around.

He stopped right in front of Lily and looked down from the long straight form that was his nose. They were less than a foot apart and Lily struggled to tilt her head up to meet his eyes. Anger and rage seemed to crackle through the air around them and Lily struggled to keep her cool.

People opposing the Marauders were only stories at Hogwarts. More lessons to be learned rather than stories. Step on Sirius Black's foot by accident? Well the last person to do so woke up with their foot transfigured into a wood peg the next morning. Happen to enjoy the sight of Jason Gastor after a night of sex and risk staying in his bed afterwards? The last girl who did that left Hogwarts within a week in the November of their fifth year. The Healers were unaware of how to get the hexed words _Whore_ off her forehead for several months.

What Lily did was ten times worse than all of those instances. Usually Jason was there to swoop in and prevent James Potter from throttling her, but Jason Gastor had not made a single public appearance in two days. There was no knight in shining army for Lily Evans that day.

The thin line that formed Potter's lips opened to show a crevice of evil thoughts. He leaned down and grabbed Lily's shoulder, pulling her up to stand. The sound of her heart was loud enough for him to hear and Lily fought to keep him from knowing how disturbing this was for her.

His lips grazed her ear before opening. "I've been practicing you know? Jason told me that Dumbledore wasn't the one to put all those tongue-tying curses; it was your dad. William Gastor's magic must have started to fade because he is dead like my parents and your mother Lily Marie Gastor," James hissed.

The sound of her feet stumbling back and Lily's knees colliding with the bench of the table was the only one the hall heard. But the ragged breaths she took and the wide and fearful forms of her eyes gave away the fact that James Potter had just taken his revenge. From the tears of anger forming in Lily's eyes, the hall could see how it was working.

Before Lily could say another word, Marlene grabbed her shoulder and locked eyes with her. From the unwavering constancy in her eyes, Lily found the strength to grab her bag with shaking hands. She didn't notice her wand fall from her robes to the floor near Potter's feet when she turned to face him.

"What I said was too far. As someone whose parents have died, I can relate to you Potter. I apologize; I went too far," Lily said in a clear voice between gritted teeth. A proud cocky simper rose on Potter's face and he ran a finger through a loose lock of her hair.

"All is forgiven Evans. I was just taking the mickey out of you. Wanted to see that famous Lily Evans temper before the break. Who knows maybe you'll come back an entirely different person," Potter replied.

Let's take a quick pause. Tension and pent up frustration built this perfect moment. Without Jason here to keep Lily from doing something stupid and Michael unwilling to quell her fire things could have gone horrendously from that second. They should have gone horribly in honest truth.

A million things may have happened in that instance and most of them would have ended with the death of either Emmeline Vance or Frank Longbottom. But getting into those destinies is a tiring matter. Let's focus on the one that actually happened.

Tinkering and lighting up into a mess of fireworks, Lily's mind struggled to find a retort to Potter's statement. She settled on crossing her arms and moving to leave the Great Hall like a disgraced Queen. Lily's wand still sat by Potter's shoes but she was unaware of that when a chilled sensation settled over her.

A moan escaped someone's mouth behind her and she frowned at the shaking agonized form of Gideon Prewett. He locked eyes with her before looking out to the horizon from the ceiling. Lily followed his gaze and her heart skipped a beat.

At first it looked as though large ominous black clouds were rising on the diurnal blue. They engulfed the light and Lily looked closer. Shock and disbelief hit her like the Hogwarts Express. No it couldn't be. But a freezing feeling fell over her and she knew what those creatures were. A year ago Gideon Prewett faced them right before he lost Dorcas Meadows.

"Oh Merlin," she gasped at the sight rising towards the Great Hall. Potter frowned at her and looked to where she was staring. His reaction was slightly different from Lily's.

"Fuck," he managed to whisper. Silence filled the audience as they turned to look at the thing that brought Lily Evans to silence. There was a single second of silence before pandemonium erupted. But it was quelled by the words of a quick-thinking Professor McGonagall.

"Students," she shouted over the screams and cries. Most did not turn to her so she took her wand out and Lily cringed when a spell bloomed from her wand and hit the open expanse of the upper hall. The explosion made the panic-stricken students turn to their teacher.

"Prefects and Heads get your houses to the dungeons in an orderly manner. We'll need to go to the one place without any windows. You have ten minutes before we seal off the dungeons," she barked.

They were ready for this and that broke Lily's heart. In an almost orderly manner Frank and Alice ushered groups down to the entrance hall staircase. Prefects called for order and teachers sped around the room trying to get everybody out.

But Lily wasn't paying attention to anything that was happening around her. Her eyes were rooted to the sight rising across the horizon. She was stuck and suddenly the breaths she took felt like poison. Her eyes never left the sky and the black clouds came closer and closer. Dementors, the one creature that she stood no chance against, were coming in masses of hundreds towards the castle.

_(They come crumbling down)_

In the panic she didn't see Potter pocket her wand and turn to her. Lily did feel him grab her and drag her along after him. After her leg hit the bench of the Gryffindor table, Lily squirmed from his grip and stood in the orderly chaos of the hall.

He turned to her and ran a hand through his hair before allowing his crazed eyes to lock with Lily's. "What the hell are you doing Lily? You can't cast a bloody Patronus Charm! I have to get you to the dungeons," Potter barked.

Lily's eyes rooted to his and she couldn't even feel his calming presence over her panic. Grabbing his cloak, she stared into his eyes with desperation.

"Jason," Lily gasped. Potter's eyes filled with realization and Lily knew that he didn't know where her brother was. He promised that Jason would be fine, but no one could take on hundreds of death eaters.

Quickly something passionate filled his eyes and he propelled Lily forward from the hall. She didn't pay attention to the students milling down the stairs or from the hall while Potter held her head up so their eyes locked.

"Jason would want you to be safe not go off on some hunt for him!" Potter declared. Lily pulled her body from his grip and looked around the hall with a crazed stare. She could see Marlene helping Michael get the third year Gryffindors down the stairs and even Black shuffling sniffling Slytherin first years down the hall.

And then true chaos was born. The windows of the Entrance Hall burst open and Potter quickly shielded Lily in his hold. She heard his grunt in pain and looked over his shoulder meeting a pair of gold eyes.

Relief settled over her but it faded when she saw the rest of the person who had broken in through the window. It was her brother, but it wasn't Jason. With a head of almost flaxen hair and eyes that could haunt, Pericles Gastor's eyes drilled into Lily's eyes. Potter turned to shield her and Lily looked over his form at the advancing death eaters.

They poured in through the windows like some twisted opening for the Dementors trying to break into the castle. A shudder rippled through her right as the first spell was shot. A silent scream broke from Lily's mouth as a muggleborn Gryffindor was hit from behind. The boy toppled to the ground and reality kicked in like a drug.

Immediately, Lily's fingers curled in her pocket but her wand was missing. She didn't need it though. With the anger fueling through her veins and the desperation that controlled her life for years, her magic grappled inside of her. But power was power and Lily could use it.

It was a risk but lives were at stake here. Before she had been able to take it down right before true destruction bloomed but it was stronger and Lily knew in her heart that this could be the end. Even when her blood wasn't filled with adrenaline and the high of battle, her magic was strong. It could engulf the world in flames.

She knew the curse but it was worth a shot. Stepping around Potter, Lily let the thing she hated most consume her body. But the fire quelled when a set of hands grabbed her and pulled her from the crossfire. Angrily, Lily looked up to meet Potter's stare.

"Get downstairs right now!" he growled. Something in him seemed different; he came off so fluidly and exact. This wasn't her Potter, the person who was a cocky arse, no this was James Potter one of the most powerful duelers in England. And he was a soldier, meaning that James Potter had to act and kill.

"No. Jason is missing and your death eater friends are killing people," Lily shouted in anger not caring who heard this conversation. A memory hit her and she stumbled from Potter. Her magic seeped into her mind as she stared at him in horror.

Potter and Jason gave Malfoy a list of all the muggleborns in the castle. Glancing around the room, Lily could see something different around some students. They seemed to emit a glow and it was clear for her to see that these were the muggleborns of Hogwarts. How did they manage to put a charm on all of those people?

But her thoughts, her tinkering tinkering thoughts were derailed in a matter of a brilliant bolt of red light. It catapulted across the room while Potter was distracted trying to get a large piece of shrapnel off a young Ravenclaw.

Agony. It engulfed her and Lily fell to the ground. A piercing scream escaped her mouth and the magic that worked so hard to kill her decided to save her. She felt it mold around her mind instead of fight against it. It was perfect and everything in the world shifted.

Looking up, Lily met a pair of steel blue eyes that lit up in a storm. Abraxas Malfoy stood in front of her wearing a smirk as he watched her scream in agony. She met his stare and let a smirk grace her features. It was the smirk and the face she worked so hard to conceal her entire life. The monster that was her magic and the monster that was Lily Gastor dance with each other.

Her eyes burned with a crow of triumph and Malfoy paled as Lily raised a hand and a beam of fire shot from it. She didn't see the fire hit Abraxas in the chest and Lily certainly did not hear his screams, because she heard something else. She heard the sound of a scream that haunted her every single night.

"Michael," Lily gasped. Looking around the hall while stumbling to stand, Lily could see students being ushered down the stairs as the teachers and a brave few stood behind to give their companions time.

Her eyes jumped around the hall and landed on Marlene's blood covered face. But Marlene's eyes showed no agony, only fear as she locked with Lily's form. Again the scream echoed across the battle and Lily met the sight of Regulus Black standing over Michael's form. His wand let a curl of red light lance from it and Michael's back contorted in agony.

"That was for my father," Regulus shouted loud enough for Lily to hear. She couldn't make it across the hall and there wasn't time for that. Coldness settled in her fire heart and Lily was doomed. Her ears picked up the sound of the dungeons locking and something in her heart fell. So many people remained locked from the sanctuary. But most of them were old enough to know the Patronus Charm or be able to use the disarming and stunning charms.

She caught a flash of gold and watched as Alex Moody's form catapulted from a mess of debris. It landed against the form of a death eater and Lily raised an eyebrow when Moody proceeded to wrap his legs around the form of the death eater and beat his target to a bloody pulp.

"Lily duck!" someone shouted. Instinct told her to listen to the voice but she did not have time to. A body barreled into her form and Lily was crushed between the wall and a tall form. Electric blue eyes met hers and relief bubbled in her mind.

"Emmeline, Gideon, Frank, and Alice are all down stairs. It's just Marlene, Fabian, Michael, and us," Adam explained as he pulled his form from Lily's.

"I don't have a wand," Lily explained. He looked to the ground and pulled something from under a fallen piece of glass. Lily took the wand he held out and turned to the anarchy.

"It's a wand and hopefully it will work," Adam muttered. Lily nodded and saw Marlene attempting to defend Michael's tortured body along with a group of fifth year Hufflepuffs who looked half dead.

"The Dementors will be here soon," Lily said. Locking eyes with Adam, a single thought hit her.

"Broom closets," they gasped at the same time. Small enclosements where there were no windows were the only solution to this issue. It could work but not with the chaos that engulfed the hall. Even the death eaters would not be able to withstand the Dementors.

"Get the younger students to the closest closets and find Professor McGonagall," Adam ordered. Nodding, Lily turned to the pandemonium and weighed the wand in her hand. She wasn't Potter but the battlefield was one of her homes. And Lily would be damned to let the death eaters destroy Hogwarts.

"Impedimenta," Lily declared. Not having time to watch her spell hit a falling piece of glass, Lily sprinted to the students under the collapsing window and shoved them from the chaos. Glass collided with her body and Lily fell to the ground in a ball.

She felt it shatter on her robes but not the pain of anything imbedding into her body. Standing in the mess of glass, Lily turned to the students and saw that Fabian was already there pulling them from the hall. He locked eyes with Lily for a mere second before sprinting with their classmates from the carnage.

Her hands moved with their own accord and swept the small pieces of glass from her shirt and hair. Lily scanned the chaos and recognized another scream from Michael's guttural agony. It brought demons so buried and forgotten that blood rushed to Lily's head.

His scream and that evil taunting stare of the man she ruined. A ripped apart back and the smoke that choked the air in their lungs. Fire. Blood and the smell of burned flesh battling over her broken feelings. And then the explosion.

Tears filled Lily's eyes and she collapsed to the ground in a mental battle. Memories of what she thought that night came back. She wanted to die because what was left in that world if every single person she loved was poisoned by her? She needed death and it was so close when her body catapulted across the remains of the Auclair Manor.

In the mess of the chaos around her Lily never felt how drained she was. She never saw how much it took for her magic to break whatever spell Malfoy used on her. She wasn't ready for the battle and her mind was shutting down.

Just like that night, no one was there to pull her up from the darkness that kept coming closer and closer her. And this time Lily didn't know if she was strong enough to pull herself from the ashes of the destruction she created.

Chills came over her and her back squirmed uncomfortably. Agonized breaths broke from her mouth and the magic that worked with her only moments ago turned on her. It didn't want her anymore because she was ruined and unworthy of the damn curse. Lily wondered where Potter was and if he would see her in such a mess. Nothing could bring her more pain than James Potter seeing her broken and fighting the one thing she had never been able to defeat.

Sweat pounded against her forehead and Lily managed to turn over so her stomach was plastered against the floor of the entrance hall. A groan of agony escaped her lips as she looked up to the darkness. Dementors started to pool in from the windows and they looked around the room finding their prey. She could go in peace, losing her soul would be a blessing to the agony sitting firmly on Lily's heart.

Adam's plan seemed to work as most students were out of the hall. Death eaters took the remaining on in groups of two or three. But most of them had fled at the sight of the Dementors.

Marlene stood in front of Michael's battered form with her golden retriever Patronus standing strong in front of them. Lily could see Regulus Black's pale form near them and the bruise forming on his forehead. Marlene had always been great with knockback jinxes.

The fire inside of her swelled and Lily bit down on her bottom lip. Blood rolled from her chin to the ground as she writhed in anguish. No one was coming except for the creatures that sensed her pain and horror. She could see Pericles retreating from the battle not even giving a glance to the ruin he had created.

Her mind erupted in coldness that battled with the fire to rip her apart. The Dementors wanted her soul but the magic just wanted to taste chaos. They could work together and seemed to realize that.

Her face fell so that it was pressed against the stone. Tendrils rose from the dark inky form of the Dementors. Chills raced down her back and one lifted her face. Its eyeless face and desolate mouth bored into her mind savoring the taste of someone so forsaken.

Dampness settled over her mouth and the Dementors around the one chosen to take her cheered their companion on. Their tendrils teased her skin and goose bumps prickled wherever they went. Tiredness settled over her and Lily gave in.

She'd never been near a Dementor like this. Close enough to feel it rip her soul apart. No one lived to say what it was like for a Dementor to take his or her soul. They lived but not in the sense where they would be willing to entail what happened.

A bullet sank in Lily's gut when the Dementor went straight for her memories. The others crooned and almost drooled at the emotions bubbling from her memories. The Dementors hadn't come for her sorrow; they came for all the good that made Lily's pain.

They started from the beginning. Ripping her mind apart, Lily lost her sense of time and relived all of those memories, even the ones she worked so hard to forget.

A brilliant smile, one so bright that Lily thought she'd forgotten it. It was a faded patchwork memory of Jason's toothless smile as he grinned at her. She knew it was one of her earliest. And then the sound of her own light laughter forming a bond none could break, not even herself or him.

They devoured the memory and took Lily's first laugh with them. Like a ripple, pain echoed in her mind as the creatures rifled through her mind. They ripped her father's golden presence into darkness and basked in the sound of her mother's voice telling the stories of the constellations before making Delphina Gastor sound like nothing but knifes against stone.

The thrill of her first flight was stolen in a manner of parched drinks from the creatures along with the companionship she found with Benjy Auclair in the early days of childhood. Lily knew they were coming for the memories she destroyed, the ones too painful to even think of.

Those dark moist presences dug deeper and the fire surged in her veins. Laughter echoed in her mind; the death eaters were feasting on the things that kept her going. So close, they were so close to the memories Lily could not afford to relive. They were coming for the wounds that ripped her into pieces.

Struggling, Lily tried to fight back. But her mind wasn't hers anymore. It was a playground for the Dementors and they were drinking her memories like wine. Drunker and more powerful, the first Dementor left a memory of sunshine and a kiss that tasted like freedom for the ones that Lily hid from. It came for the memories that made her weak and broken.

"No," Lily moaned. Clawing at the ground beneath her, she felt the Dementor rip the door open to the place she could not see.

"Please," she cried as it took a first step into reminiscences bright enough to burn the fire from her veins. A curling ligament reached for the first memory and panic swung low in her gut.

"No," Lily screamed. A titan bolt of chaotic need burst through her veins and she fought against these dark forces. It was in vain as the Dementor's presence started to engulf the memory while its companions abandoned their rummage through the rest of her mind for the glorious room of memories bright enough to burn the sun.

She was stuck in sand and couldn't move. None of them heard her protests, and if they did it only seemed to spur them on to the one place filled with light. In the ashes of her distorted memories a figure rose. Squinting her eyes, Lily watched as someone came to her.

The smell of burned roses reached for where she remained low and weak in her mind. A dress the color of night dreams and forgotten anthems was all Lily could see. A hand was jutted in her direction and the skin seemed to glow in the pale moonlight.

With her mind in pieces, Lily looked up from where she remained. The Dementors were closer to ripping open those memories and the fire that consumed her blood was stronger than ever. The girl in front of her stood fiercely in a burned dress and with hair that could have lit the world ablaze. Bold viridian eyes met Lily's dull ones and the girl in front of her spoke.

"Get up," Lily Gastor said. It was Lily Gastor not the Lilies she hid behind in a quest to give up her destiny. It wasn't Lily Lilius or Lily Evans or even any person Lily could make up to be. It was the little girl who was brave enough to defy her parents and go to the Christmas Ball all those years ago. It was the girl who flew across England in a snowstorm and survived to hear the sound of angels singing. Lily Gastor, the girl who gave her first kiss to a boy with eyes too bright and hair that danced with the chaos in her life, stood in front of her ready to help her up.

"Get up Lily. The fire is burning but the ashes have not settled yet," the girl ordered. Finding some pit of strength left in the remains of what she became, Lily took her hand right as the Dementors ripped open a memory.

Seeing a flash of Julius's smile, a smile Lily hadn't had the pleasure of being the reason for in years made her stand up and release all that she had left. No the Dementors couldn't take those memories, not the ones that would break her into pieces no one would dare to pick up.

"Get out of my mind," Lily screamed. She lifted her hand and came to reality. Lily Gastor's dress faded from her view as Lily looked up and saw that fire surrounded her. She could think again and the Dementors torturing her were hissing at the wall of fire surrounding her form.

Standing up and feeling the life sucked literally from her made Lily narrow her eyes and let a noise of utter contempt out. She was in control and nothing scared her more. Flames licked at the tendrils that ripped her mind apart feeding on memories that made her breathe.

The fire in her veins sputtered and out went the flames around her. Crippling exhaustion came over Lily but she wasn't done. With a glance around her, Lily couldn't even see anything past smoke and debris. Dementors circled outside of the window trying to get in. It was hopeless. There was nowhere to run and she was too tired to fight the Dementors. Lily used the last of her strength to get them out of her mind. They were coming in and angry about the interruption.

A ragged choking breath escaped her mouth and Lily coughed. Her legs shook and scrapes covered the ripped material of her stockings. Doom settled low in her gut and she pulled the wand Adam tossed to her from her pocket. But her hand shook violently and the wand clattered to the ground before she could even raise it to the Dementors.

She was so weak and the darkness grew closer and closer. They tasted her and wanted only more. Despair was fought with stubbornness as Lily scanned the area.

"Dammit," she swore. Only the shadows of duels separated by fallen stone and debris were visible. Shouts and pleas for help registered in Lily's mind as the last of her fire shield died out. Inside her body, her magic took its vengeance for her attempting to wield it. Black spots filled her vision and tears of frustration spilled down Lily's scraped cheeks.

"Expecto Patronum," someone shouted from behind her. Without turning, Lily watched as a rat sprinted from behind her and faced the Dementors. It danced around them and they swatted at each other trying to get rid of the nuisance.

Lily turned finally and a choked sound of relief broke from her mouth at the ragged form of her brother. Jason stood before her with a toothy grin and sunny eyes. His hair was truly a disaster and the once button down white shirt he wore, was shredded to pieces and stained with dirt and blood.

Her eyes leapt back to his and they glowed with something close to gratefulness. Jason walked towards her and Lily didn't miss the slightly limp in his gait as he grabbed her and pulled her into his chest. She buried her head against his body and tried to gain some semblance of sanity.

"I'll always be there to chase the nightmare away, even if you don't need me," he vowed against her brow. Lily let her head up and narrowed her eyes before slapping him across the face. His head was still turned slightly after the sound echoed.

"That was for disappearing for two bloody days," Lily replied. She looked behind Jason and saw that there was a tricky pathway across fallen columns and walls to the east wing of the castle. He let go of her and turned to survey their path to survival.

"How did you even get past that?" Lily asked in a stunned voice. He didn't answer her but rather glanced towards where the Dementors remained.

"We don't have time Lily. Sirius and Remus are on the other side. James is coming; he'll take you across the hall and to the east wing. You have to find a room without any windows," Jason quickly explained.

"What about you?" Lily asked in a soft voice. Gold eyes glanced towards where a fading Patronus remained with determination.

"You're too weak to do any spells. We're lucky that the fire from across the hall got here before the walls fell apart. I'll be right behind you and James making sure that no Dementors follow us," Jason explained.

Before Lily could protest, the sound of a small explosion broke the moment. She turned and saw James Potter walk from where a large mess of stone and glass once were. His cocky swagger was gone and in its place was the soldier who wanted her to get to safety.

Even from this distance, Lily could see the anger pulsating through his eyes. It only grew when he saw the small spots of blood spotting her entire figure. He was in front of them in a matter of seconds and grabbed her from Jason's hold. Lily squirmed and turned to Jason.

"No we can't leave him," Lily exclaimed. Potter ignored her and nodded to Jason who suddenly looked lethal. But it didn't matter to Lily. She lost him and couldn't lose him again. Lily struggled against Potter's hold as he picked her up and carried Lily from where she turned to the strength of the girl who she lost in this war.

"Put me down," she demanded in fury. Potter ignored her and Lily hit him endlessly in her struggle to save Jason. They only grew farther and farther from him though.

"Potter please there's too many of them out there," Lily begged. His eyes flashed and Potter only sped up. Lily could feel him limp slightly and saw blood fall from his hair to his cheek.

"Let me down! I hate you!" Lily screamed in anguish. Potter stopped and put her down. His arms trapped her against the stone of the tunnel he had created and his chest. Grabbing Lily's chin and pulling it up, Potter spoke.

"If you listened to me and went to the Dungeons then your precious brother would be fine. I don't care if you hate me, as long as you are alive I will come to you first. But don't think for a second if anything happens to Jason it won't be your fault. If you weren't such a martyr so many people would be alive! I bet Wood wouldn't have that lovely scar and even your pathetic clingy auror would not be in Mungos protecting the school you go to," Potter hissed.

Hurt filled Lily to the empty core that was her meaningless heart and she shoved Potter away with a look of agony. He tried touching her and Lily slapped his hand away.

"Go help him. I'll be a good little girl and walk myself to Black and Lupin. Just go," Lily announced. Not giving Potter another look, she walked from the scene and continued down the dark pathway.

_(Ashes, Ashes)_

Hands grabbed her and pulled her into a sobbing chest when Lily came to the light. She froze up but recognized those teary electric blue eyes anywhere.  
"Oh Merlin Lily! When I saw you swarmed by those Dementors I almost had a heart attack. You stupid stupid girl," Marlene cried. Wrapping a comforting arm around her and looking over Marlene to where Black and Lupin remained, Lily felt the sudden need to cry as well.

"Where's Prongs?" Black asked. Marlene managed to let go of Lily long enough for her to lean over and gasp for air, clean air.

"He went back to get Jason. Go please, there's too many Dementors," Lily explained. Black locked eyes with Lupin and walked towards Lily and Marlene right as the wall next to them exploded.

He shoved them to the ground and Lily rolled across the ground as Black covered Marlene's body with his own. Lily stood clumsily and spat blood out of her mouth. She winced and saw the glass prodding from her stockings, staining the white material a shade of crimson red.

"Thanks," Lily muttered as Lupin helped her up. He nodded and jutted his head to where Black and Marlene were.

"I'll go and get them Lily. Sirius will take you guys to the closest room without windows. Make sure he doesn't come back. After what happened to Regulus he's not ready to face Dementors," Lupin barked.

He turned to the dark tunnel and sprinted into it. Lily was surprised by his ability to dodge the awkward stone curves and debris on the ground. But they didn't have time. With the wall nearest to them broken, Dementors from the hall started to turn and see the three vulnerable students.

Sirius helped Marlene up and grabbed Lily before propelling them forward. Lily stumbled and Marlene and Sirius quickly helped her hobble down the east wing. Her blood dripped behind them like a trail.

"Where are Michael and Adam?" Lily asked as they struggled through the hallway. She could see that Black was starting to get a black eye and that a thin cut streaked across Marlene's face.

"Michael was crucioed seven times before Adam got to him. He took him down to the broom closet near the boy's loo near the music room in the west wing. Were any of the others in the hall after the dungeons closed?" Marlene asked.

They jumped over a pile of glass and chills rippled down their backs. Lily stumbled but Black quickly caught her and dragged her with Marlene.

"Fabian but he was taking students to a broom closet right when the Dementors came. He'll be fine Marlee," Lil assured. Black's grip tightened on her arm and Lily shot him a glare. But he wasn't looking at her. No his eyes were focused on Marlene's form as relief shone clearly on her face.

"Professor Moody and a few others are still in the hall. I think they're trying to get a Patronus shield up around the school to keep the Dementors out," Marlene commented. Lily nodded but looked over her shoulder at the black matter gathering around the corner of the hallway. Her heart slumped at the thought of Jason facing so many Dementors.

He was the sun but even the brightest things could be eclipsed. Even with Potter and Lupin there, there didn't seem to be much hope. Black rounded a corner and Lily's leg caught on the wall as she let out a noise of pain.

"I'm fine," Lily grunted as she looked up to meet Black and Marlene's concerned faces. They exchanged a look before Marlene stopped and pulled Lily's stocking down.

"I'll go and look for any classrooms. Don't do anything stupid," Black ordered as he let go of Lily and turned to jog down the hallway.

Refusing to look at her wound, Lily leaned her head towards the ceiling and bit down on her lip as Marlene prodded the skin of her leg. She could hear the sound of Black closing and opening doors as he hunted for a room for them to hide in.

"Do you have your wand?" Marlene asked her. Shaking her head, Lily finally looked at her leg and paled at the bruises forming among all the cuts and scrapes.

"It's okay. You're not in any danger right now. We just have to get to a safe place," Marlene said more to herself than to Lily. Her fingers pulled the material back over Lily's skin and she stood.

"How did you end up with Black and Lupin?" Lily asked. Marlene's taunt fact relaxed for a moment before she let out a laugh.

"Regulus the little bastard wanted to repay Michael since Mrs. Wood was the person who sent his dad to Azkaban all five times. We were with Gideon when we left the hall and Regulus's gang cornered us when Gid and Michael were helping the fourth years get to the dungeons. We were protecting the kids and when the death eaters came, a wall fell separating Gideon and the kids. They got to the dungeons and have both Michael and my wand. Reg started curcioing Michael and one of his gits petrified me. I couldn't do anything Lily. Potter found us and stopped them before taking me to Lupin and Black," Marlene answered as she ran her eyes over the other nicks and cuts along Lily's figure. She raised an eyebrow at Lily's blood covered hands and ripped nails.

"I thought I saw your brother in the battle. Not Jason, Pericles, the one who is supposed to be in Greece," Marlene commented. Lily nodded and glanced down the hallway. She could see the shadows of the battle and Dementors coming closer and closer.

"We should catch up to Black," Lily muttered. She started limping towards the direction Black headed down and Marlene supported her left side. Black's figure was sprinting towards them and his eyes were filled with exhilaration. His wand was raised and time seemed to slow.

"Get down," he screamed. Lily didn't have time to follow his instructions as she turned and saw a masked death eater leading a group towards them. A cruel glint came to his eyes as he raised his wand in her direction.

"Sectumseptra," the man shouted. Lily felt her mind slow and watched as the bolt of light sprinted towards her. She couldn't move or think. Something shoved her aside right before the spell hit the fabric of Lily's shirt. Her body slammed into the wall of the castle and Marlene's eyes met hers with anger pulsating in them.

"What the hell are you doing? We have to move now," she ordered. Lily nodded and allowed Marlene to lead her over to Black. She ignored the growing pain in her body and stood between Black and Marlene gasping for air.

"There's a room but it's far. Near the edge of the castle," Black explained. Lily couldn't even imagine walking that far with the pain in her body and the exhaustion pulling her down and down.

"She'll never make it," Marlene answered. Guilt bloomed in Lily's gut and Marlene pulled her as they walked down the hall. The shouts from the hallways were growing louder. Black's eyebrows were knotted tightly and he sped up. Lily bit down on her cracked lips as another pang of agony sounded from her body. It was giving up on her.

"Sirius?" Marlene said in a low voice. When Black's eyes flew up to meet Marlene's figure, Lily felt as though she was intruding on something. The way the cold chaos in them melted to show a ray of concern made her truly believe that maybe there were two sides to how Marlene lost her virginity.

For a second, Marlene's motherly exterior faded to show a scared girl. Really she wasn't as ruined as Lily. Sirius could save her. He could get her to safety if somebody stalled the forces coming at them. A flame of glory…

"Black, your friends are taking another route right? They're not coming to us from behind the Dementors?" Lily asked. He nodded in full belief that nothing could possibly happen to the other Marauders. Courage filled Lily and she squared her shoulders. Marlene and Sirius could get to safety; they had to.

"Good. Get Marlene to that classroom and do not come back for me," Lily ordered as she pulled herself from their grips. Before either of them could protest, Lily ripped Black's wand from his hands and pointed it at the wall.

"Confringo," she shouted. The explosion sent her catapulting into the opposite wall and the dust in the air showed that the spell managed to make the path down the hall slightly more difficult to get through. Even Dementors would have a hard time fighting through all that rubble. It would give Black and Marlene at least thirty seconds and hopefully Lily could get them more time.

The sound of Marlene calling her name faded just as it started. Lily hoped to magic that Black was getting her to the classroom. The blockade cost her time but she didn't need it.

A death eater stood only a few feet in front of her and pulled the mask of shadows from his face. Lily's skin prickled at the sight of Evan Rosier. There was a cut by his arm and his robes looked slightly frayed but nothing too serious.

"Evans I told you that your time was up. You should know that battles are for adults not little mudbloods trying to play soldier," Rosier taunted. He seemed delighted that Lily had forgotten her wand and took time in analyzing her figure. Behind him, the forces of Dementors and death eaters inched closer.

"Stop this Rosier. Hogwarts isn't a battlefield it's a place of protection," Lily answered. Rosier didn't answer and she looked to where his eyes were fastened. A fluid line of curses escaped Lily's mouth as she realized that the glamor charm must have faded during the battle from her fatigue.

Rosier's eyes leaped to her figure and held a semblance of realization. "Lucian had a picture of you in our dorm in first year. How could I forget that my best mate had a sister?" he muttered. It was too late for him to inform the world that Lily was a pureblood though. The rest of the dark forces had caught up and one of the death eaters already had a spell racing towards Lily.

"No!" Evan screamed. It was too late and suddenly the world was a burning mass of fire. Something ripped Lily's mind apart and her body was flung through the stone barricade she had created. Her head hit the floor with a sickening crack and bolts of pain slashed into her mind.

A ringing sound danced around her ears and she was sure that the pain in her arm could not be possible. Heat lashed against her forehead and Lily's body fell limp. She lay on the ground of the corridor where students were once free to be happy. The sensation of her magic settling low in her gut came to Lily's conscience and relief flashed for seconds.

But everything hurt too much. She couldn't even feel her arm and Lily was sure that the numbed feeling in her leg was from more than a few scrapes. The realization didn't hit her. It came over her mind in a slow haze and fear trickled into her mind; Lily didn't want to die. But even without looking at her injuries, she was certain that she was bleeding out.

Trying not to panic, Lily tried opening her eyes but found herself unable to. The frustration that came at this immediately turned to panic when she felt a hand against her face and an arm pulling her body up.

"Come on Lily, you can't die like this. You can't die when I messed up so badly," a voice strained around her. The undertones of it were ones that Lily knew so well and finally she could see the sun. Ripping her eyes open, Lily met Jason's distressed face.

Internally, she couldn't help but feel that he had never looked more beautiful. The dirt and blood streaked across his face created a painting that not even Abilene Lestrange could compare with. His gold eyes were the only bright things nearby.

His lips spread into a watery smile and he pulled Lily into his chest. Tears wouldn't come and Lily had no idea how she was even still alive. Finally, Jason met her eyes through all the smoke and dust with a wary expression.

"This hallway is going to collapse any moment now," he muttered. Lily nodded and he looked at her arm and blanched.

"You're not going to be able to move," Jason sighed. Staring at her arm would only bring the truth of how bad her injury was to mind so Lily subsided with staring into Jason's eyes. He gathered her into his arms and stood slowly. She didn't miss the waver near his left leg and shifted her weight in his arms.

"Where's Lupin and Potter?" Lily whispered with the last of her strength. A cringe broke across her figure at the sound of her voice. It cracked and sounded devoid of any emotion. But Jason seemed unaware of this as he squinted and looked forward.

"With the aurors who've just arrived. They're helping put up some Patronus Charms," Jason answered. He moved forward and Lily closed her eyes to avoid getting any dirt and dust in them.

"Why aren't you with them?" she mumbled. His next step sent her body into a folding motion and Lily bit down on her lip to avoid calling out in pain.

"I saw the explosion and knew that if there was trouble you'd probably be around it," he replied in a teasing voice. If Lily could, she would have hit him. Jason's steps sped up and Lily clung to him as he jumped over something sharply.

"Shit," he muttered. Lily could feel him weighing back on his heels and tensed when the sound of collapsing stone registered in her ears. Knowing that no good would come from her closing her eyes, Lily finally opened them to see that they were situated on a lopsided edge from a fallen wall. She could see dust settling and flashes of spells from outside in the growing darkness.

In her state, Lily knew that she was unable to help Jason navigate the treacherous area. In the back of her mind, thoughts wondered how he even found her in the first place. But the pressing matter was getting through the terrain before the corridor collapsed even more.

"Do you have a wand?" she asked Jason. He shook his head and met her eyes veiling the worry in his.

"James has yours," he answered as he finally made a move. And that started the perilous journey through the hall that could collapse at any possible interval. In her state of being, Lily didn't even notice the crackling fire over their heads.

She couldn't even notice that Jason managed to get through the mess of a corridor in what seemed like mere minutes in her blood-deprived state. But Lily did see the trail of red liquid splattering the floor behind them as Jason let out a grunt of pain and shoved open a door in front of them. She also heard the sound of something collapsing as he closed the door behind them.

"We made it," he muttered. Before Lily could ask what he meant, someone jumped into her hazy vision and her eyes met the tear-filled ones of Marlene McKinnon. Behind Marlene, stood Sirius Black who was paying more attention to Jason than to Lily.

"You stupid stupid git," Marlene sobbed against her shoulder. Gently, Lily raised her right arm and wrapped it around Marlene as she got a bearing of the room they were in. It seemed to be an abandoned classroom somewhere near the eastern area of the castle. Lily could see the glow of Patronus charms chasing Dementors from the castle.

"Where are we?" she croaked. Marlene shoved a lock of hair back from Lily's face and looked over her form with a frown. A yelp escaped Lily's mouth as Marlene prodded her arm.

"An abandoned classroom near the east wing. We're lucky Black knew about this," Marlene murmured as she continued her examination of Lily's body. The next few moments flew by in Lily's darkened mental being. Jason lowered her onto some dusty cushions and Marlene used someone's cloak to make a makeshift tourniquet around Lily's various injuries.

When Marlene finished, Lily found herself propped against Jason's form on the ground. Her mouth was dry and her head hurt but they were safe.

"Now what?" Marlene asked Jason and Sirius. Black looked to the window and rubbed his arm before answering.

"We wait," he answered ominously. Lily raised an eyebrow and licked her lips as Marlene snorted.

"We wait? That seems like a stupid plan," she snapped. Black whirled around in a flash of movements and had Marlene's hand caught in his as he raised her chin with his free hand.

"The aurors have gotten the Dementors and Death Eaters out of here by now. James and Remus know vaguely where we are; they'll send people down the east wing. We wait until the Ministry is able to lift the rubble and get us out of here. Besides that point McKinnon, you need to get off your bloody high horse," Black hissed. Marlene frowned and felt her face cool down increasingly.

"I'm on a high horse? That's grand coming from you," she spat. Black's eyes flashed and Lily felt like she was intruding on something. Soft snores came from Jason's exhausted frame that was pulled against Lily's.

"Yes you are. You and your little lying friend over there should have gotten into the dungeons instead of pretending to be heroes. Now Lily is sitting there with two options if help doesn't arrive soon enough. One, she'll lose that nifty seeking arm of hers or two, she'll bleed out. If you got her to the Dungeons none of us would be in this situation," Black growled.

"I wasn't the person who told Lily to join the battle," Marlene replied in a weak voice. Tearing a hand through his curls, Black let out a cold laugh and let go of Marlene's body.

"Yes but you're one of the few people who can make Lily quit being such a martyr. It's you and Jason Marlee, not even Michael Wood meant that much to her. She'd never put you in danger even if it meant not helping others," Sirius declared.

Marlene shifted from one foot to the other before answering. Her eyes were slightly glazed and a flush was rising to her cheeks. Lily assumed she was hallucinating by that point; in the one year that she'd known Marlene McKinnon, never had Lily ever seen her blush.

"I don't like her. It's not because she's a self entitled spoiled brat, it's because she's so broken that James will do everything he can to fix her, even if that means breaking himself in the process," Sirius muttered in a voice loud enough for Lily to hear.

By then her thoughts grew foggy enough for Lily to be unable to hear anymore of Sirius and Marlene's conversation. It wasn't like she wanted to listen to them. Maybe it was time for Sirius and Marlene to work out their issues.

* * *

Part Three: Invincibly, Marlene McKinnon

"When they're together I can almost believe that they're siblings," Sirius muttered under his breath. Marlene raised her head from her palm to look over at where Lily and Jason were lying. Both looked so tired and exhausted. If Marlene squinted her eyes she could almost imagine them as children who'd just come inside from a day playing in their mum's garden.

Dirt and blood streaked across Lily's entire frame and Jason's form seemed ragged and completely exhausted. Since Lily told Marlene about being a Gastor, Marlene always assumed that Lily took after her maternal side. Asleep, Jason and Lily never looked more alike.

Maybe it was the fact that both of them kept pretending to be something they weren't. Jason wasn't meant to be this golden light that helped others but never got help. And Lily tried too hard to redeem herself for sins she never even committed. What they had in common was the shadow of the family name that stretched behind them like a set of chains.

"Yeah," Marlene answered back. The floor of the classroom was cold, but unlike herself and Sirius, Jason and Lily seemed perfectly fine. Marlene wondered if they managed to get a heat charm before this entire disaster happened.

Rubbing her goose bump coated legs; Marlene pulled them up close to her chest and body so she was confined in a ball like form. Sirius was sprawled out next to her wearing a dazed expression. The events that just happened probably still hadn't hit him.

It seemed strange to be so close and yet so far away from Sirius. They'd grown together. They'd hurt and damaged each other beyond repair and here they were. It was like running from her shadow, Marlene concluded. He was always there and sometimes she needed him.

He'd broken her to a point where she could never be Marlene McKinnon, Gryffindor's golden girl. When she was young, Marlene used to dream about Jason Gastor. Because they were two suns with enough light to make each other shine.

She'd ignore everything bad about him and his family because there was something haunting in his eyes. Every whisper of murder and deceit behind those perfect smiles was thrown out of her mind. In her world, a Gastor was golden. In her world, Marlene McKinnon was nothing but a toy for Sirius Black to play with until he inevitably broke it.

"You broke me," Marlene laughed. Sirius looked up from where his gaze was fixed to watch her. There was a slight shake to Marlene's shoulders and a quiver to her words as she continued.

"I'm turning into something I hate. I'm not supposed to need people to cry on or to listen to my problems. I'm supposed to be there for them. But ever since last year I've turned into someone else," Marlene clarified.

"You raped me Sirius Black. And dammit there's something wrong with me. Because how could I forgive you for doing something so evil and disgusting? You ruined me Sirius Black," Marlene spat.

Those were the words she held in for so long because Sirius and her were not meant to crack. Every single crack and broken piece of them would simply become whole again. Marlene McKinnon could never be whole again.

"I didn't rape you Marls," Sirius said in a low voice. He flinched at the bitter laugh which escaped Marlene's mouth. She twirled a lock of her hair between her index finger and thumb before facing Sirius Black. He looked like an angel but Marlene learned the hard way that looks can be deceiving.

"I know that you bastard! You've met my brother right? What our parents did was horrible. What type of mother drugs her own daughter because of society rumors? It's not the night I'm talking about Sirius. I'm Marlene McKinnon; I can survive that night. But what I can't survive is the past year," she replied.

And facing the truth hurt worst of all. Because the morning that she cried on Adam's shoulder, he revealed the startling truth. Their parents, her mum and dad, teamed up with the dark Mr. and Mrs. Black to drug her and Sirius. Her parents were in some forms, the people who raped her. They planned the whole thing because apparently having a daughter who showed hatred for her future husband made their family look bad.

Having never been close with her parents made a sad childhood. But Marlene had Adam and she had her friends. For the past year she lost all of those things. Last summer, she had the idea of bright and sunny Fabian Prewitt. She had Benjy Fenwick and Michael Wood. Both on the verge of being broken, but she was strong enough to hold them together. Last summer she finally had Emmeline Vance as a sister and dammit Marlene wanted all of it back.

The summer before her fifth year seemed perfect with its cracks and shards. Sure she had to deal with Mary MacDonald and Dorcas Meadows, two girls who spread atrocious rumors about her. But she had it all. Then what Marlene referred to as the night of Black transpired.

Within weeks after that night, Dorcas died and Mary went missing. Lily Evans showed up with her endless mystery and sorrow but Marlene let her in. She let Lily in when she didn't let anyone else in because there was something charming and glowing about Lily Evans. There was something about how Lily never smiled or laughed. There was that nasty rumor that Lily Evans had been expelled from Beauxabatons too. Thankfully, Michael had enough reason to still pine after his lost love.

Adam and Emmeline didn't need her when they had each other. Emmeline's parents dying only made the wall between them grow. Benjy Fenwick was dead and Michael grew closer to Lily while growing farther from all of them at the same time. He gave the allusion of being close with Lily but Marlene saw through all of it. She could see the strained expression he gave Lily. It was ten times stronger than the one he used to give Abilene Lestrange.

Maybe her life was shit because her best friends were trapped in endless agony. She hadn't been there when they were kidnapped, but the shadows under Lily's eyes and the scars staining Michael's mind were enough for Marlene to want to carry their weights.

And Lily wasn't even the innocent muggleborn they thought she was. She was a sunny bright Gastor and Gastors were meant to prevail. The old nursery rhyme came to Marlene's mind and she quickly closed it off.

So she moved on from everything and pretended to be normal. She made the mistake of dating Fabian Prewitt and he was perfect. He was bright and sunny but he wasn't the darkness that Marlene needed. He wasn't Sirius Black.

It was over before Marlene could ever realize what she had done. When Lily was missing she broke and slept with Sirius at the Parkinson Wedding. Michael was in France on that stupid chase for Abilene and Benjy was dead. Sirius looked so tantalizing in the light of the Parkinson Garden.

And it kept happening over and over again although Marlene could not feel any of it. It started in a flash of clothing ripping in a guest bedroom. And it continued in abandoned classrooms and broom closets for three entire months. When the world found out what Marlene McKinnon really was it wasn't so bright anymore.

She went from the Golden Girl; Jason Gastor's partner in holding up the world, to a girl who could not be a hero. She just wanted him even though he was so wrong for her.

"I'm scared Sirius because in three days it won't matter what the past year has been like. I'm relieved that in three days you can turn it off for me. I'm scared because before today I would fight for this year no matter how hellish it's been. I'm different, I'm not Marlene McKinnon anymore," she concluded in a hoarse voice.

A hand brushed hers and Marlene could see Sirius's large hand knot with hers. The blue nail polish she wore shone bright like her eyes and his laugh.

"We're supposed to be afraid sometimes," Sirius murmured. A tear slipped from Marlene's eye and she brushed it away with a choking laugh. Lily's blood started to pool around her and Jason. They looked like sleeping children. They looked like death.

"He needs me because he can't hold the world by himself," Marlene argued weakly. And the secret was out in painful words. She wasn't in love with Fabian's light or Sirius's darkness. She was so bitterly in love with the sun. She was in love with her best friend's brother. Marlene McKinnon loved Jason Gastor and that was going to break Sirius Black.

_(We all fall down)_

She hadn't expected the bark of laughter of the shaking of his large shoulders. Marlene hadn't expected Sirius to lean down and place his forehead against hers with his eyes filled with mirth and happiness. How could he be happy that his future bride was in love with his best friend?

"I've watched you and Jason for six years. The dancing and teasing Marlene, I've always known," Sirius revealed. Leaning in so his lips were brushing hers he whispered, "Being a Marauder comes before anything. Jason knows that. But what he's doing and what he's done is dangerous. He lost so much and Marlene do you want to be the reason he'll lose everything?" Sirius asked.

"He's going to have to choose between Lily and James. It's inevitable. And you have to decide if you'll get in the crossfire for someone who may or may not have feelings for you. But I can assure you that Jason Gastor is too broken to love you the way you need to be loved," Sirius insisted.

"And you can?" Marlene gasped. The corner of his right lip picked up and Sirius cradled her face in one of his large hands. He was so warm and smelled of smoke and dust. He was so dark and Marlene didn't know if she could survive Sirius Black.

"Yes because I know exactly how broken you are too. I know that you grew up with your brother raising you and noticing how your parents never shared a bedroom with each other, but did touch others too often. You don't know how to be friends with girls because from what you've seen, they'll just rip you to pieces for being you. Even Lily and Emmeline are jealous of the looks you hate; the two girls who you envy. You want Emmeline's happiness that is just a lie and you want Lily's control. But Lily's going to snap and I'll do everything possible to keep you away from the fire she creates. So you befriended Fenwick and Wood because what could they possibly do to you? You dated Fabian Prewitt because he reminded you of Jason. You love Lily like a sister because she is the sister you never got to have. Marlene McKinnon, you're so broken and no one can see that, no one but me," Sirius articulated.

"How do you know all of that?" Marlene demanded in a fearful voice. A low smile picked up on Sirius's face and his eyes sparkled like the sun.

"Because I never took pretty Marlene McKinnon for granted," he answered. So Marlene cried and he held her because she knew he was right and she was broken for so long. She was in love with the sun and he was in love with a girl who painted her nails to hide the tears that stained them and the nightmares she dug up.

It hurt to see this. It hurt to know that there was no real winner to this dark twisted game they played for six years. In two days there'd be no triumph or victory like both of them dreamed up.

There would never be a happily ever after or a prince to save her from the wicked villain. Because her prince had always been there and she mistook him to be a villain. And it was all her fault; all of this was her fault. Maybe if Marlene saw that Sirius Black had love in his eyes and a beat to his heart, she could have a happily ever after. It was too late. It was too late to go back and fix this mess.

They'd survive today. But once this room opened up and hell arrived, everything would be gone. Marlene would go back to being scared and lost. Sirius could go back to watching her from afar. It's so tragic that neither of them were strong enough to lean in and kiss the other in that moment. It's so heartbreaking that Marlene couldn't tell Sirius that she was done being the victim in this mess. She was done being the protagonist to fate's cruelty. It's lovely that instead of speaking, Marlene knotted her fingers with Sirius's and pressed her lips against his cheek. The stubble along it scraped her perfect lips and her salty tears met the opaque ones breaking from his eyes.

It's incredible that they reached this point. There would be no ultimate battle for victory and defeat. There was simply no purpose in promising the moon and sun because they didn't need that.

**Simply, Sirius Black never took her for granted. And Marlene McKinnon was finally ready for Sirius Black and all the cracks that made him who he was.**

So they molded together and held each while their tears streamed together and a final consensus was reached. The war was over; the storm had ended. There was a rainbow in the sky and a nightingale sang in the background. The nightshade was the salvation. The poison was the medicine. Because for everyone, there's a personal deadly toxin and Marlene McKinnon had just defeated hers. She was invincible.

_(Take my Hand)_

"Should we wake them?" Lily pondered as she looked over at the pair sleeping on the ground. Jason chuckled and shook his head.

"No they finally stopped arguing. It took them until dusk to shut up," Jason answered. Looking out the window, Lily saw that he was right. The sun was setting and that could possibly be her last sunset. Her pain was numb under all the adrenaline and shock in her veins. Both of them knew that she wouldn't be able to survive another hour. The tourniquets Marlene made were all bled through and Lily couldn't see properly.

A few minutes ago, Jason approved of her leaving. He understood that if they survived this, Lily needed to get help. It wasn't right for her to stay and keep Hogwarts in danger. But she could help it.

"Congrats on the Quidditch win. There's no way Gryffindor will win," Lily muttered as she bit down on her lip. There was a reason she'd make a horrid healer; Lily hated pain.

"You can't say that. Just because McGonagall said that half of your team was sent to Mungos and the other half is stashed in an abandoned classroom or broom closet, doesn't mean that you lot won't be able to play," Jason argued.

"Sure. Pomfrey will let me onto the pitch with my arm like this," Lily answered sarcastically.

"He won't make you hold up to the bet's terms Lils. James is better than that," Jason spoke. Lily nodded and rubbed her eyes with a yawn. She was so tired but couldn't risk falling asleep. Professor McGonagall said that help would be there soon.

"But I'm not better than that. The bet's on even if I don't heal in time," Lily answered. He didn't bring up her statement.

"You're choosing me over them. Jason you have to understand what that means," Lily reminded.

"It means I will lose everything. I will lose my life, my family and my best friends. Because Pericles and Cassius will never forgive me for letting you do this. I'll never forgive myself if you come back or if you don't. It means that if you come back we'll never be the sun and the moon. If I do what you've asked of me, James will never forgive me. He'll never let us be family again," Jason muttered.

It broke Lily's heart to hear him say those words but they were needed. They grew up without realizing it.

"You'll always be my hero," Lily answered. Jason's lips picked up and he heard the same buzz of voices from the outside. Help was coming; help was finally here.

"And you'll always be Lilibeth," Jason answered with a snicker. Even in the most heartfelt moments, he was still there to make things brighter. Stars explode and Lily knew that with every passing day Jason was getting closer and closer to turning into a supernova.

The door opened and the sky blue eyes of Galen Kingsmill caught sight of Lily's emerald green ones as she shut them and let chaos pull her in. Her hand was tightly twined with Jason's.

* * *

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	19. The Snitch that Caught Lily

**Chapter 19 The Snitch that Caught Lily**

**( The Quidditch Player's Guide to the Galaxy)**

* * *

December 1976

Saturday

Hogwarts Quidditch Pitch

Young Blood

Purebloods were built off tradition and customs, especially when it came down to matters of a loved one's death. It was almost universally known that when a Weasley lost a beloved, they could be found laughing away their sorrows. Parkinsons and Rosiers tended to keep their emotions closed off. Blacks let a single tear leak out for the sake of appearances. Potters, well it's not proper to say what Potters do when they lose someone.

Gastors drank; as long as Lily knew, it was tradition to drink a bottle for a beloved's death. So as snow pelted from the sky and her bones froze in her body, Lily struggled with the bottle in her eyes were fastened to Lily's form. The remnants of her team sat in a vague form of a circle on the snow-covered pitch. And that wasn't a whole lot of people. In reality they just sat in a clump of sorts. An hour ago, the game ended. About an hour ago, Lily's fate was sealed by the devil's kiss.

As she struggled with the cork of the bottle, Lily heard Adam whisper something to Fabian and finally looked up. Michael seemed to be the only one willing to look at her of the others had left for the Hospital Wing. Marlene, Gideon, and Frank were all bed confined. And that didn't account for the fistfight Adam and Michael got into in flight. Lily hadn't seen it but Fabian told her. She sighed when she saw the pair glaring at each other. If she hadn't been so stubborn, they could have found someone else to seek. If she hadn't screwed everything up, then her friends wouldn't be injured.

After showering in a huff, Lily came out to the pitch first. Her skin was red from the efforts she made to scrub that game away. But its ghost traced her elbows and knees like a sibling. Her team, her ever so loyal team, came out and sat around her. She wanted to be alone.

" You can leave," she finally declared. Three pairs of eyes blinked at her and Lily paused in her efforts of trying to open the blasted bottle of alcohol.

" I'm trying to mourn here and I know all of you want to be with them. Please go because I'm not strong enough to," Lily sighed. Leaning forward, she pinched her forehead between her fingers and waited. The sound of rustling figures echoed painfully in her ears. Fabian's hand squeezed her shoulder as he and Adam left the pitch. She didn't hear what words of comfort one of them slipped.

" Are you sure?' Michael asked. Lily looked up and saw that he already had his cloak fastened around his figure. Seeing him so prepared to leave her made Lily realize how truly flitting life was. All of them could so easily be blown out. And then where would they be?

" Yes. I need to be alone," Lily answered in a breathless tone. Michael leaned over and pulled the firewhiskey from her grip. His fingers popped the cork off easily and he handed the bubbling bottle back to her.

" The train leaves at ten," he offered before leaving her in the snow filled pitch. A glazed sensation soaked through Lily's veins as snow pelted down from the sky. Her hair was wet against the thin Henley she wore and the snow soaked through her jeans. The sound of the game was gone and all that remained was silence.

There would be no trip to Greece with Galen. There would be no last kiss to Marlene's cheek as she wished her friend best of luck. There would be no true closure. She was trapped in a gold cage for the next two weeks. Fear struck Lily's heart because if anyone could make her long to stay in England it was James Potter.

" We lost," Lily noted. A soft laugh broke from her mouth as she finally brought the bottle to her lips to drown the day from her mind.

Lifting the bottle to her lips, Lily felt the relief of a year's vow. It was over. She could heal and let go of what happened. She could drink this bottle of firewhiskey without feeling the guilt of countless injuries and too many deaths. Freedom rang but it wasn't in that pitch.

The liquid scorched down her throat and burned the past three days to oblivion. Coughing, Lily wondered if she truly was once able to chug an entire bottle of firewhiskey in one sitting. Her eyes filled with unshed tears and a flush trickled up her cheeks as the bottle was brought back to her lap. Condensation already began to form around the outside.

A low buzz rushed through Lily's body and she felt a release she craved for so long. Slipping was hard because of the vow she made last year. There was a Quidditch game like this one; a game that ripped Lily's mind to bits and pieces. The stakes were high and the outcome was just the same. And maybe Lily thought that if there was a god out there, he owed her this. He owed her this win after what happened last year at Beauxbatons.

Getting expelled wasn't the worst thing she expected. But it was an outcome she wanted. Escaping France was one step closer to England and Lily wasted six years chasing England. Now that she was finally here, she knew in her heart that it was worth it. Everything was worth being here. All of the tragedy, all of the pain and losing herself in the process was worth it. She was in love with people she never met before and memories that seemed like dreams. But James Potter didn't feel like a dream. He felt like love and Lily was terrified to see what happened to her.

She used to be strong. Using people, even those who were weak enough to fall in love with her, were things she had to do. For England and for herself. And all the lies and sins and tears, well no one ever truly knew the extent of what she did. Maybe it was for the best that way.

Somewhere along the way, Lily realized that love and happiness would never come to her. She was too broken; too helpless for even the most dashing knights out there. James Potter wasn't a knight in shining armor. He made her stop pitying herself. He made her see that killing herself in a flame of glory was beautiful but it wasn't her. James Potter made her see who Lily Gastor was.

And Lily could not wait for the day she was finally able to be Lily Gastor. That day was here and she didn't expect it to come for ages. Lily Gastor could have a fairytale and a world of smiles and laughter. She could have James Potter and live happily ever after. But right now, Lily could not be her.

" Rose Galen," she murmured under her breath. The scent of firewhiskey overcame her as she took another sip of the seductive drink. Lily Lilius was dead. The name she took for six years was gone. Lily Evans lasted a year but it was time to put her to rest. She'd become someone else in order to get rid of the poison in her heart.

Even then with all the alcohol in her body, Lily could feel her magic stirring inside of its prison. It was inevitable that this day had come. The day she had to choose to live or die. And for the first time in years, Lily wanted to live. She wanted to get rid of her fire instead of let it consume her. And for the first time in years it finally seemed like she was strong enough to do it.

Everything was in set. Lily Evans would turn into the name of a ghost that never left the minds of people she knew. She would burn and turn into the flames she once detested. Lily Evans would die and another would be born from her ashes. This dismal farewell was it. She'd become another girl whose words were lies and lips were sweet. And when Lily was done with purging herself she could burn the next girl. Finally, it seemed like there was a pathway to making Lily Gastor rise from the ashes. Hope was never so bright.

All Lily had to do was get through the next two weeks without falling completely for James. Right now, she was only dipping her feet in the sea of chaos that they would surely be. But inside, she knew that she'd never be strong enough to rise from that sea. The time would come when Lily could dive into his arms but that time wasn't here yet.

Glancing at the clock on the far side of the pitch, Lily cursed. Time seemed to speed up in the circumstances that demanded the most strength. It was nearly ten. Luckily, her luggage had been packed and sent to the station hours before. All she had to do was get to the Hogwarts Express.

Her friends thought that she was simply mourning Galen's death. But Lily knew he wasn't dead. As she stood, Lily was fully aware that Galen was probably leaving for his mission right now. It was a mission that needed the utmost care. And that meant having Alex Moody and Galen Kingsmill fake their own deaths. So while England mourned the deaths of their beloved aurors, Lily mourned for someone else.

Because when she finished the bottle of firewhiskey, someone would be dead. Lily would never be the same again and she could not go back to the girl with glossy blood-hued hair and a fire in her heart.

" For Lily Evans," Lily said as she tipped her head back and finished the bottle in one last sip. Her lips left a blood stain along the rim of the bottle. As she walked to the nearby garbage bin, Lily wiped her bloodied lips. Biting her lips so much seemed to leave them incapable of withstanding wind and gusts. They were broken and blood bloomed along the fractured membrane.

Before she left the pitch, Lily healed them and in the howling storm walked from Hogwarts. Each steps made her heart pound and with each breath she took, Lily struggled not to cry. Because she was leaving home and she knew that there was a possibility that she would never come back.

Lily felt a single frozen tear roll down her cheek and land on the dead grounds of her home. It hurt to leave home, but her heart was there so really Lily would never truly leave it.

" Goodbye," she whispered thinking that this was the hardest thing to come. But she was so wrong.

* * *

1960 June

Gastor Manor

Distant Seventeen

" She's small," Julius, concluded as he balanced his little sister in the crook of his arm. He hadn't seen Lily in months but that time was enough in all of his other siblings' cases to almost turn into another person. Lily looked only slightly different than she did in April.

His mum's hand came to ruffle his hair and he looked up to her pensive expression. Usually there was a sense of comfort to her presence, now Julius just felt like time was going too quickly. Signs of slight aging were all around her, just like they were around his dad. But there was something eternal about his mother's eyes, he'd always hoped that one of his many younger brothers would inherit those eyes. None of them did.

Lily managed to get them though. Even at six months, Julius could see large shining green eyes peaked from under her soft hair. He pushed one of the locks from her eyes and she let out a gurgling laugh.

" Does Mary get along with Jason?" he asked. His mother returned to the book she was reading and nodded. Her fingers scraped against the paper and Julius moved closer to her side. His friends teased him about being so close to his mum, but he really did love her more than anything.

" They're hard to pull apart. Jace nearly had a fit when your dad took him and the other boys to the pitch this morning. They'll be best friends," his mum chuckled. An ache came to Julius's heart at this statement. All of his siblings were at least seven years younger than him. And even then, most were over ten years apart from him.

His friends at school had siblings with close enough ages to each other. They'd tease each other in the hallways and remind one another to write to parents. Rodolphus Lestrange, Julius's closest friend, regarded his much dimmer annoying younger brother with slight fondness. But when Julius thought of his siblings, all he saw were babies and gangly-limbed children.

Pericles was the closest to him but he was probably the most different. He tended to enjoy the extensive library much more to the many trips to the Quidditch Pitch their dad took the others on. Julius would never get a year with any of his siblings at school.

" So they're Cassius and Lucian in the making," he joked. His mother's finger paused as it skimmed the book and she coughed.

" How's Andromeda doing?" she asked switching the topic suddenly. Julius frowned but Lily tugged at his shirt making him quickly answer his mother.

" Fine. She's spending the summer in Spain with some distant cousins," Julius remarked. His lips picked up slightly at the thought of his Meda. School ended only weeks ago but he already missed the sound of her laugh.

" I was talking to Dorea about her. Apparently her mother's sent all three of those girls off for the summer. There's that mess of a trial with their dad and Auror Wood," she mused.

" The Woods needs to decide where they stand on this war. Honestly, they shouldn't show up to society events if they're accusing half of the attendees of being murderers," Julius growled.

" Jules there are some political things you don't understand yet. Mr. and Mrs. Wood do a lot of good work for the wizarding world," his mum pointed out.

" Yeah they're a bunch of mudblood loving idiots," Julius muttered under his breath. He heard the slam of his mother's book and looked up to see strong anger in her eyes. Before either of them could speak, Lily reached up and wrapped her hand tightly around one of the buttons on his shirt.

" Lily don't do that," his mother scolded, forgetting about Julius's statement for a moment. Her elegant fingers reached down to pull Lily's chubby hands from Julius's button and with a cry, Lily scrunched up her nose and screamed in protest.

There was a sudden burning sensation where Lily's hand remained, and Julius looked down to see that her hand had burned through his shirt. He looked up to meet his mother's eyes with a frantic look and saw terror in his mother's eyes.

" I guess we don't have to worry about Mary being a squib. Here take her, I'll go tell dad," he offered. His mother bolted up and pulled him up with a terrified look in her eyes. She grabbed Lily and held her slightly awkwardly before meeting Julius's eyes.

He took the opportunity to slide the shirt from his body and hissed at the slight burn on his chest. Julius only wore a white t-shirt and his mother's eyes flashed down to his left hand.

" No, your father can't know about this. Julius he cannot know about this," she ordered loudly. Julius looked down to his shirt and back to Lily. There was something off about her eyes. He sucked in a breath as black veins flashed in her irises.

" Merlin what is she?" he demanded in anger. His mother looked frantically around the room and shut the door with a wave of her wand. She placed Lily down in her crib and turned to face Julius.

" I'm going to tell you something that no one can know. Not your brothers, not your dad, and certainly not the damn Dark Lord," she hissed. There was something to the way she spoke that made Julius feel like everything was about to change for the worse. And he wasn't sure if it had something to do with Lily's eyes or about tattoo writhing on his arm.

But he did know in his gut what he had to do to protect his sister.

* * *

December 1976

Midnight on Thursday

The Newly Rebuilt Gaunt Manor

More Important

" Why did you do it?" James demanded as he faced the man. Behind him, there was a storm growing in the darkness and shadows flickered across the room. A man stood by the fireplace. To James, this man was just a husk of a lost soul. A person who danced with the line of sanity and chaos for so long before falling into the sea. He resembled everything James had and knew.

" Why did you attack Hogwarts?" James shouted. His voice echoed across the manor. From the stories he heard, it took decades to rebuild and the manor was truly magnificent. It rivaled his own home in Godric's Hallow. It was truly fit for a king.

The man faced the fire and did not turn to acknowledge James. He'd known this man since before he got his Hogwarts letter. If what the man told James was true, then he'd known him since the day he was born.

" There were children in there! They're innocent and they don't have to face the war, not yet," James continued in a tired voice. He was tired in all sense. For sixteen years, he was raised to fight a war. He was raised not to be a soldier but to be a leader and a warrior.

" The war's coming to an end," the man answered in a low voice. Running a hand through his hair, James paced before making a noise of outrage. His heart was heavy and he felt so tired but Lily's life was at risk. Lily, his Lily. His fierce glowing star who could never go out nearly died only hours ago.

Few memories burned James's mind. But only hours ago, he experienced one that would certainly haunt him for the rest of his life. Lily's bloodless form in the arms of his brother was going to be his personal demon. He didn't know what happened in that room but seeing Lily nearly dead in Sirius's arms as Marlene supported a bleeding Jason behind them was one of the worst things he went through.

He was in love with her for almost six months. She didn't know how he felt but James was sure that she was breaking. Lily was stubborn yet this was something she could not fight for so long. It was a matter of time; after today James knew that she was broken. She wouldn't stop fighting and that would be her end. He'd have to put her back together because Lily could not let herself love him. In her eyes he was a monster and James wondered if that was better than the horrible truth.

" I don't care! Attacking the Ministry and muggles is fine but not Hogwarts," James spat in anger. His hands twitched up for a wand but it was Thursday night and he wasn't allowed a wand on Thursday night.

" There are mudbloods in Hogwarts and the boys you train are not able to handle them. Dumbledore is gone; you should have gotten rid of every single mudblood weeks ago!" the man answered. His voice remained cold and steady, something that took James years to learn.

He was so tired. Coming tonight had been a mistake. He should have stayed at Hogwarts or gone to Mungos on his other mission. He should have stayed with Lily and Jason and Sirius and even Marlene but James couldn't. Seeing Lily so lifeless made him weak so he came to learn from the only person who could teach him how to protect her.

" I spent sixteen years teaching you and Jason Gastor. You two are my protégées but something has changed. Now you're missing lessons and Jason hasn't bothered to continue his research. Last night he asked me what was the point in this. Now tell me what has you both so emotional," the man demanded.

An icy chill settled over the room and the fire dimmed as wind shook it. James watched as the tendrils of orange and red danced before slipping under the dominant arms of his master. He wanted to remain silent; he could but there was a force slinking towards his head. He couldn't let the man near his mind.

" Lily. She refuses to stop this muggleborn act," James sputtered. He wasn't strong like Jason. Jason could take having their master rifle through his memories and mind. James cringed at the thought. The feeling of cold murky hands invasively ripping his mind apart was something he could not stand.

The winds paused and the fire was able to build up again as the man turned to face him. Red eyes flashed with something as they locked with James's and the Dark Lord looked bitter and annoyed as he spoke.

" There's a difference between you and Jason. You've embraced everything you lost and Jason simply runs from it. All Gastors are like that I suppose. Pericles refused to tell me what his runaway brother is up to so I forced him to lead this raid. Jason won't betray her because he believes that she is all he has left. I cannot afford to have him weak. He needs all of his attention on his mission and you have always been the stronger of the two. Three months is too long James. This war has a matter of six months left to it. Do what you must to ensure that Lily Gastor is no longer a worry for Jason. Get her to want to be herself and stop this act. Your other missions will be on hold until then," he drawled.

" You want me to keep Jason happy so he doesn't become distracted? That's highly below my abilities. Just threaten Lily and she'll reveal her identity. Say you'll off Wood or Galen Kingsmill and she'll do anything you want," James answered bitterly.

A spell lanced towards him and he knew that he overstepped. Exhaustion hit him as he summoned a weak wandless shield. The spell was stopped long enough for him to duck.

" Good form not enough power. I can't threaten her. Lily Gastor is a ticking time bomb and people like her are so hard to control," Lord Voldemort continued. He shot another spell at James. The dark twisting light flumed towards him and James grunted as he managed to shoot a countering spell at the jinx.

Sweat coated his form and he breathed heavily. Wandless magic was something he wouldn't even consider trying a year ago. But he had grown as a wizard. The Dark Lord thought he was ready and James trusted his teacher to know what level he was at.

" You're letting emotions fuel your spells. Stop it. Use your power and ability not your anger. Allowing emotions to control spells will make them weak. You need to feel the spell not your feelings," the Dark Lord noted as he watched James.

Nodding, James licked his lip and pulled his shirt off trying to cool down. Another spell came towards him and he barely had enough time to use a nonverbal levitation spell on a bookshelf nearby. The spell hit it and it exploded.

" You're bound to her with the strongest binding magic out there. If only you'd been born when your friend Sirius Black was. She's powerful and even the training she's gotten won't be enough. That type of magic only grows," the Dark Lord acknowledged.

James knew the basics. Lily was powerful, probably more powerful than himself but not nearly as controlled as the Dark Lord or Dumbledore. It terrified him to know that if her magic could control her and that there were so few things in the world that could suppress it for her.

It worried him even more that Sirius knew. He'd trusted Sirius more than Jason in the passing year. Jason used to be whole but now he was risky and willing to do anything to hold onto the last piece of his past; Lily.

Both of them knew that the war would take so much from them. Yet Jason wasn't trying to fight anymore. And no matter how easy his smiles were, James could see right through him. He wondered if Jason would feel free when Lily was finally his.

Pain lanced up his arm as a spell hit him. A strangled cry escaped James's mouth as he was thrown into a wall and the Dark Lord shook his head in disappointment.

" You're not fit for lessons today. We'll pick up after the holidays," the Dark lord said with traces of annoyance in his voice. James nodded and stood. Before he would've stayed and fought to learn. Now, his mind was overwhelmed with the image of Lily's bloodless body and her eyes closed over.

He could feel all those emotions like nothing before. James knew he loved Lily, but it terrified him to see how much that was true.

Before he would stay and learn, now all James wanted was to return to Hogwarts where his heart remained. Things really were changing and it scared him that he didn't know if it was for the better or for worse. All James really knew was that there was a girl with a mess of a heart and a taste for danger that made his heart pound waiting for him. He hoped that it would be enough for Lily, sometimes even he didn't know if anyone could be enough for Lily to finally forgive herself for whatever she did.

* * *

December 1976

Sunday

Black Family Country House

The Coming of Age Ball for Sirius Black

Et tu Brutus?

At the end of the ball, Sirius concluded that there were too many pieces to this story. He didn't know half the people who possibly had any sort of idea how life brought him to this finale. All he knew was that Marlene McKinnon could barely hold in her tears as he spun her around the ballroom in the Black Country House.

It was empty of course and Marlene removed her shoes hours ago. Most of the guests left when the news of Minister Bagnold stepping down came into light. There was only one candle and since the window was open, it was nearly dead.

" Do you think we can ever stand a chance?" Marlene asked as she titled her head up slightly. Sirius struggled to find an answer. Both of them wanted one but it was the wrong sort.

" No because I'm not Jason," he answered reluctantly. Marlene's lips crumpled before she let them loose in a wild sort of laugh. He always wanted to love a girl with an exquisite life and Marlene's sounded like a requiem.

" Do you care that I'd choose him over you?" Marlene asked in a drunken slur. Sirius fought not to let his pain show and sighed as the Black family ring's magic trapped his emotions. He was too tired to fight it.

" He's light and I'm darkness. But Marlene, Jason will never choose you over me. He'd never choose you," Sirius said with a tinge of anger. Marlene's expression held acceptance as she rubbed her tired eyes and sat down on the cool marble. Sirius slid down next to her and watched as she ripped a slit in her dress so she could cross her legs. He pulled his cravat out and slung it around his neck with a groan.  
" I know that. I fell in love with someone too damaged to let anyone in, save for you lot and Lily. Is it wrong that I sometimes hate Lily?" Marlene asked. Sirius pulled a flask from his pocket and took a swig. He watched Marlene's bronzing fingers pick at her silver nail polish.

" I think everybody sometimes hates Lily," he answered plainly. Marlene's lips picked up slightly in an arch that made Sirius's heart pang.

" Even James?" she asked teasingly. Sirius's lips twitched up and he raised an eyebrow before slinging an arm around her shoulder.

" Especially James," Sirius concluded solemnly. A snort of laughter sounded at Sirius's conclusion and he smiled before ruffling Marlene's hair good-naturedly. She pouted and grabbed the flask from his hand.

" Hey Sirius," Marlene croaked after she took a long swing. He looked up from his hands to her eyes. Blue. They were blue and beautiful like angel tears. Sometimes it hurt to be around Marlene. Today it hurt to look at her.

" Yeah Marls?" he questioned. It was coming; her suffering was inevitable. They were too young and Marlene would lose everything before the end could come. And even if the Dark Lord said it was close, Sirius knew better than to hope.

" Pinch me," she asked in a breathless sort of voice. Sirius swallowed before following her request. That's when another tear fell from Marlene's eye.

" It's real then. I wanted to wake up and go back to yesterday, back to Hogwarts. Because if I could I don't know what I'd do. But Sirius if I could I would do anything to make this a dream," Marlene choked.

Pressing her head against his shoulder, Sirius took a deep breath and placed the flask on the ground. Marlene's fingers were a mess of cracked colors and from the way they tapped against the marble floor, he knew she wanted a cigarette.

" Do you ever think that it's strange that nobody seems to realize the truth about Lily? I mean she doesn't do much to hide it," Sirius answered.

" Dumbledore and her dad did some confundus spell. I can't even think of her as a Gastor unless I concentrate," Marlene replied. Sirius reached into his pocket and pulled a pack of muggle cigarettes that Jason slipped him. He wanted to punch his best friend for caring about Marlene; he was jealous because Jason knew more about Marlene than he did.

" Doesn't magic like that usually fade after the creator dies?" Sirius asked as he slipped Marlene one of the rolled muggle creations. She took it gratefully and pulled her wand from a holster near her thigh before she lit it.

" I mean it shouldn't matter anymore. Lily's going to be long gone before people realize that she looked an awful like Mrs. G," Marlene replied as she took a long drag. Sirius frowned and tilted his head up to look at the chandelier; something wasn't adding up here…

" I'm proud of her. She's always run from her problems and probably for the first time ever she's going to face them," Marlene continued.

" What are you talking about?" Sirius asked in a nonchalant voice. Marlene giggled and rolled slightly onto his chest as she tapped his nose. Her eyes were lit up with the high of the smoke and mirrors.

" Silly Siri didn't you know? Lily's leaving after break. She's sticking around for that bet she and Potter made. I think she's going back to France or something," Marlene revealed in a drunken blend.

" Does James know?" Sirius demanded. Something clicked in Marlene's expression and dread filled Sirius. His heart sped up as Marlene traced a pattern along his shirt.

" No only Michael, Jason, and I know she's leaving. Oops I guess you know too. But you can't tell James, if Lily doesn't leave she'll hate me," Marlene pouted. His first instinct was to leap up and run from the room to his mirror. James had to know what Lily planned. Whatever it was, knowing Lily, it had to be dangerous.

But then a cold voice spoke in his ear. _Only Marlene knows that you know_. Sirius knitted his eyebrows together and his eyes widened at the perfect plan. No one but the girl he was going to married and currently had under a powerful compulsion charm had any idea that he knew Lily's plans.

If Lily did leave, James would immediately turn to Jason or Michael Wood. Either way, he'd find out that they knew for weeks that Lily planned to leave England indefinitely. He'd hate Jason for choosing Lily over him. He'd also break his heart for the first time.

Sirius was stuck at a crossroad. If he chose to tell James, then Jason and Marlene would hate him. He'd also have to deal with the fact that Lily could at any minute blow up or something and kill everybody. But if he remained silent, then James would hate Jason. Jason would lose everything and Sirius could finally have Marlene. Plus, there was the slight possibility that Lily would never return. And that could free James to be his brother again.

" What am I thinking?" Sirius said. Self-disgust took over him. What in Merlin's name was going through his head. James was his brother and Marauders' came first.

Still, James and Jason kept Lily before the Marauders countless times. Wasn't it fair for Sirius to put his desires in front for once? Marlene's soft snores and the dimming candlelight were his sole company as he debated the question. James or Jason? Marlene or being alone? Him or the Marauders?

When the candle was nearly dead, Sirius pulled Marlene into his arms and took her up to her room. After pulling her shoes off and tucking her in, he went outside and pulled his wand out.

" Obliviate," Sirius said, losing all memories of the night. He hoped that tomorrow he'd blame it on a hangover and not the truth. Because Sirius doubted he could live with the fact that he had just stabbed James in the back. He almost didn't have the strength to do the spell but the sight of Marlene's trusting eyes got him through it.

Was it fair that he chose his own happily ever after before James's?

* * *

December 1976

Thursday Morning

Hogwarts Castle

The Cowardly Lion

It seemed in light of yesterday's events, the house elves had not forgotten to place the cinnamon scones out. Adam McKinnon was pretty grateful for that. He was sure he wouldn't be able to last the meal if Emmeline's favorite breakfast wasn't there.

She was pecking at her food, all of them were. It was a miracle that Adam was able to even stomach his porridge. After yesterday, he hadn't expected Hogwarts to even be open today. But Professor McGonagall assured students that as long as magic was around so was Hogwarts.

The only bright side, if there was any after yesterday, was that Professor McGonagall had been appointed temporary headmistress. Even Michael's lips twitched up when he found out that Abraxas Malfoy was in Mungos suffering from revolting burns.

Since most students and faculty got to the dungeons before the death eaters and Dementors arrive, classes were still up. Well for the students that hadn't been pulled from school for an early holiday.

He didn't bother to look around the room and see the numbers. It was too depressing but Adam could see Gideon's finger jumping across the room identifying figures. He'd lean down and whisper something in Fabian's ear. Fabian hadn't spoken since he saw Marlene get hit by a cruciatus. Adam barely found anything worth saying.

His sister was in the hospital wing along with Michael. Lily and Jason Gastor were sent to Mungos the second Alastor Moody and Bishop got them from that room. Adam had never been so grateful that aurors and Order members abroad arrived just in time to fend off the death eaters and Dementors yesterday. After all, he'd watched them from a closet while holding Michael Wood's gaping stomach together.

" huh," Frank said. Adam looked from his porridge to see that Frank was reading the Daily Prophet with a questioning look.

" What?" he asked between gritted teeth. Last night after the castle was secured and it became apparent that none of his friends died, save for Marlene and Lily who were still trapped, according to Remus Lupin and James Potter, he and Frank made everybody promise not to read the article the prophet would spew on the attack. Seemed like Frank had broken that promise.

" Celestina Warbeck tickets are on sale. Allie loves her. Maybe I can get some tickets over break," Frank answered with a museful expression.

" I dunno mate. Maybe if you'll be able to sit through that garbage," Adam answered. Frank's lips picked up and he folded the prophet before slipping it into his bag.

" I've listened to Gid and Fab's nephews scream for hours. I think I can handle Warbeck," Frank answered with a scoff.

" Longbottom you really don't get the magnitude of this do you? Bill and Percy are nothing compared to the likes of Warbeck. Even Charlie, Charlie that little prat who cries all night, can't compare with her," Gideon replied.

Adam's lips twitched up at Frank's defeated expression and he leaned over the table to grab the scones from Emmeline's plate. She wasn't even listening to any of them. Instead she scribbled away in that notebook of hers. He tugged one of her curls and she looked up to glare at him.

" Adam I don't have time for this. You saw that Rick's returned yesterday. He's threatening to take me back to the states," Emmeline hissed low enough so only he could hear her. Smirking, Adam threw an arm around her shoulder and used it to wrap his hand around hers.

The urge to shudder at the small scars on her palm faded with time. But the first time Adam saw them, he nearly threw up. It was the start of something dangerous and destructive. It was the start of death and the smell of blood.

" Emmy you've got nothing to worry about. Remember how our societal prehistoric sexist parents set up that lovely betrothal? Your brother can't make you do anything you don't want to," Adam vowed.

They hadn't spoken of the compulsion charms that both of them felt. Adam promised Emmeline so long ago that he'd never use them but he understood why his dad and other pureblood men scoffed at this. It was nearly impossible. She was always there. And Adam could see the prison of emotions Emmeline built around herself. He wanted to help her and if she couldn't tell then really was he the one making her change?

On occasions like this, he'd push her worry away only slightly so she couldn't tell the difference he made. Emmeline's shoulder slumped into his and he smiled slightly as she relaxed enough to eat her scones.

" There's fifty students here. Fifty five if you count the ones in the hospital wing," Gideon contemplated. All of them were silent at this note. Adam knew what his friends were thinking; they survive until now, they could live through anything. They were strong. But he wasn't.

He was weak and selfish and didn't want to lose anybody. And the stakes were higher than ever. Marlene was in the hospital wing and Lily and Michael were in Mungos. How could things get any worse?

" Knut for your thoughts?" Emmeline asked as she brushed her skirt free of crumbs. Adam leaned down and pressed his lips to her forehead.

" Just wondering how you stay so thin after eating all those scones," he teased. Emmeline's lips pulled up and he could see the tension fade from behind her eyes. Sometimes he didn't have to use the compulsion charms to relieve her pain and those were the best moments. Fabian picked at his food and looked up to meet Adam's eyes. He'd done his best not to choose Marlene or Fabian in their fight. Life was exhausting sometimes.

" What game? We've got a team of four. Not to mention that Lily's probably dying," Fabian scoffed without breaking eye contact with Adam.

" Fab," Gideon warned. The tables turned, Adam realized. Last year it was Fabian holding Gideon back now Gideon had to hold Fabian back.

" I'm going to Defense. I want to talk to who ever is the teacher about applying late for the auror office," Fabian said as he rose and left the table.

" You're letting this war change you," Adam called. The acceptance in Fabian's eyes made him flinch and sweat rise from the palms of his hands.

" All of us have," Fabian answered as he walked from the hall. Adam sighed and Emmeline's grip tightened on his arm. He heard her suck in a breath and looked up to see that her eyes were drawn to the front table.

A man wearing royal blue robes stood next to Professor Sprout and Flitwick with a hard expression. His corn silk hair was cropped short and a pair of steel blue Malfoy eyes rested on his face. Those eyes lazily gazed the hall before reaching where Emmeline was.

" Rick," she breathed under her breath. Rick Vance pursed his lips at the sight of Emmeline in Adam's arms before looking to Adam. Rick never liked him much, especially after Marlene ruined the Vance parents' funeral.

" Adam McKinnon report to the Muggle Studies classroom for debriefing on the events of yesterday," Rick declared loud enough for several eyes to fly to Adam's figure. Swallowing hard, Adam shot Emmeline a reassuring smile before standing and walking from the hall. He hoped to Merlin that no one saw his legs shake slightly.

* * *

December 1976

Thursday Afternoon

St. Mungos

Twitching Lips

By noon, Jason was seriously considering hexing the perky mediwitch. Besides the fact that she ordered a psych consult to be brought in, she almost ruined the tendons in his ankle beyond repair.

" Mr. Gastor will you be okay with being alone until Healer Davison arrives?" the woman asked in a flirtatious voice. Jason smiled brightly but wanted to scowl and bitterly ignore her.

" Yes," he answered between gritted teeth. He tensed when the woman brushed a lock of his hair back and left the room with a teasing smile. For Merlin's sake, she was nearly old enough to be his mum!

When the woman left, Jason sat up and slowly slid his body from the bed. He took a deep breath and stood. The bandage around his ankle protested but there wasn't time to heal.

When the aurors freed them from the room, Sirius managed to get Lily out of the room while Marlene helped him up. When the aurors came and the door opened Lily fainted. The healers told him that she was still critical when they were done with him. But Lily had to pull through, she always did.

He sloppily shoved a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants on that were left near his bed. Pericles was sleeping in the chair next to his bed with a thick medical book next to him.

It'd been surprising to wake to the sight of his estranged brother. But when Pericles explained that Cassius was missing and the Dark Lord had summoned him, Jason understood. Defecting from the Death Eaters was possible in only one form, death.

The metal of the doorknob was cold against his hand as Jason opened the door slowly. An image met his eyes and he remembered something with a flinch. How was he going to tell Lily that Galen Kingsmill was dead?

Unlike the five aurors that died in the battle the previous day, including Alex Moody, Galen Kingsmill died in St. Mungos from complications in his healing procedures. Jason wasn't terribly fond of the man but he saw the way Lily looked at him. She trusted him and he was gone.

A Daily Prophet article with his image had been clipped to the wall across Jason's room. England would miss its beloved auror along with the others who died in the attack on Hogwarts.

From what Pericles told him, the Dark Lord's goal was achieved. People were terrified and blamed Bagnold for this. Due to a system of false governor meetings, the school governors leaked that the Ministry wasn't doing much for the children. They blamed Bagnold and her council for the attack. And from the mutterings of healers that came by Jason's room it seemed that the public agreed.

He felt so stupid. This was why he and Sirius weren't allowed at the last meeting. Remus and James went; both of them knew this attack was coming. Pericles knew too and Jason's head spun when he wondered who's fault this really was. Children died and for the first time in years, Jason realized that he was a child too. He could have died; Lily might be dying.

He took another cautious step towards the nurses' station. They'd put a guide up showing where people injured in attacks were. If he could find Lily then maybe the chaos wouldn't seem so loud.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and Jason whirled around. He narrowed his eyes at the empty hallway before turning and pressing his injured ankle down to continue on. He was almost out in the open when a hand grabbed him and pulled him into a broom closet.

A noise of protest escaped Jason's mouth but he was weak and tired. The door closed and he grabbed the person by the shoulders.

" Easy there Gastor. I just saved you from getting swarmed by the gang of reporters in front of the nurses' station," a voice commented. Jason's eyebrows knitted together; he knew this person. His hands flew to the side of the face and he heard a hiss of pain as his fingers hit a bumped scar.

" Sorry Wood," Jason muttered as he released Michael Wood. He took a step back and opened the door a slit to see if what Michael said was true. A scowl surfaced on his face when he saw the crowd of reporters standing around the opening on the floor. Too many carried cameras and notebooks for his liking.

" Lumos," Michael said. Jason shut the door and shot him an envious look; his wand was confiscated to check for spells used during the battle. Apparently the auror office had a little more insight on the Gastors' relations with the death eaters since the last full scale attack he'd been apart of.

" You look like shit," he observed. Michael scowled and Jason wanted to chuckle. He didn't understand why Lily insisted on being friends with Wood. Those brown eyes seemed to be stuck in an eternal scowl or cold expression. Yet somehow Wood was able to get nearly as many girls as Jason did. Maybe it had something to do with girls liking asses.

" Back at you. I nearly pissed myself at your lovely little hobble down the hall. What were you thinking while you were on the verge of passing out? If they didn't tell me Lily's condition I doubt they'd let you anywhere near her room," Michael scoffed.

" They didn't tell you anything?" Jason asked in slight disbelief. Wood had enough connections in the ministry to get the status of a so-called muggleborn easily. He wondered what possibly was keeping the healers from disclosing anything to Wood.

" She's critical. They've been working on her since you lot was rescued. Before I was carted here Marlene told me that she lost a lot of blood. Mungos was attacked a few days ago, they might not have enough replenishing potion for her," Michael offered.

Jason's mind spun and he could barely hear Wood as he spoke. He lost everything in the past year; he couldn't lose Lily. Losing his parents felt like his life was over. But it wasn't and things just got worse and worse. It was hard to plaster a smile on his face when there wasn't anything worth smiling for anymore.

" I don't like you much but we've both got the same mission here. I think between the two of us we can figure out how to get to Lily's room," Jason said trying to ignore the pressing headache he had.

He was a leader; it was a birthright of sort and Jason hated it more than anything. So he let James take control of the Marauders and tried not to shine so brightly. It never worked and both of them knew that. Sirius and Remus knew it too. But Jason didn't want the role he just wanted to be happy and for once he was.

Now he was an orphan with a dying sister who hated herself for loving him. Maybe things would be easier if Lily and him just didn't try. If they grew apart instead of fighting for lives that could never happen. Life wasn't supposed to be easy.

" That's not a half bad idea," Michael replied. Jason nodded knowing that most of his ideas weren't bad at all. But Wood was already scheming away.

" If one of us distracts the reporters then the other can get Lily's room number. We'll meet back here at midnight and go to her room together," Jason continued. Michael narrowed his eyes and leaned against a shelf of cleaning supplies.

" How do I know that you won't get her number and go without me if it's you?" he demanded.

" You'll have to trust me," Jason answered in a slightly annoyed voice. Michael snorted and folded his arms.

" I'd never trust a snake," he answered snidely. Anger bubbled in Jason's gut at this answer. He was a Slytherin and proud but there was at least a good five seconds where the Sorting Hat debated between Hufflepuff and Slytherin. None of the Marauders knew about that and Jason would die before he told any of them.

" Normally I wouldn't work with a battle-thirsty Gryffindor but we don't have time to be picky. People died in that attack Wood. My sister could be dying and I'll be damned to let her. People don't know that she's a pureblood and even Mungos is prejudiced. They'll put Evan Rosier's autopsy before bothering to treat her," Jason sneered.

He'd never been terrifically fond of his future brother-in-law. Evan was closer with Cassius and Lucian while he mostly ignored Jason. Jason always thought he was a real pansy sometimes. So what if he and Sirius once dyed his hair purple, that didn't mean that Rosier had to go to Jason's mum and tattle like a prat.

Even then, he felt his heart tear a little. Eliza hadn't made an appearance in public eye for months. Evan assured Pericles in a letter that she was merely taking some time to heal but Jason had his own doubts. He swore he saw a flash of corn silk hair at the last raid he was on back in early December. But it wasn't from Evan who was fighting alongside him, it was from the shadow-covered girl who threw hex after hex his way. Eliza always had a good throwback jinx for whenever Jason tried to hex her in first year.

" It's not like I'll distract them though," Michael remarked bitterly. Jason rolled his eyes and checked his nails. The blood and dirt were washed away long ago.

" They'll die to hear how Michael Wood managed to live up to his parents' legacy," Jason assured. Michael tensed and swallowed hard before laughing resentfully.

" I'm no hero Gastor. Black's little brother crucioed me for a good minute before Marlene threw him off me. Last year when Lily and I were kidnapped, she had to drag me out of a burning dungeon. I even got my best mate killed," Michael confessed.

Jason stared at him before feeling the urge to pull his hair out. They didn't have time for a bloody heart to heart! And if he was going to have one with anyone it surely would not be Michael Wood.

But Michael's eyes met his expectantly and Jason's lips twitched up into his classic reassuring grin. He'd used it tons of times during interviews when people asked him how he was going to get through everything that happened in his life.

" Wood you saved my sister from her psychotic best friend, For Merlin's sake you managed to keep Sirius from pummeling Fabian Prewitt at the Vance funeral," Jason said between gritted teeth.

Michael's eyes turned into amusement and he let out a bark of laughter. Jason watched blankly as Wood fell to the ground clutching his torso and tears of mirth leaked out of his eyes.

" Oh that was incredible! I didn't know you cared Jacie," Michael laughed. Realizing that Wood had been pulling his shoulder, Jason kicked him in the side and opened the door.

" I did it for Lily, you useless toe rag. Now get out the door and convince those bloody reporters that what happened is a damn tragedy that will forever scar history," Jason spat.

He considered punching Wood in the face when he stood and blew him a kiss as he walked towards the reporters. But there was an odd sensation around Jason's mouth. It twitched out of control and his headache stilled for a second. He only felt this way around the Marauders. Not even Lily's laughter made his lips twitch so uncontrollably like this.

* * *

December 1976

Thursday at Midnight

St. Mungos

Burn it Down

The healers placed cleansing charms on the battered form of the girl as they worked. Nurses came around and wiped the blood from her long hair. A few remarked that it was so hard to tell if there was blood in the hair at all from its distinct hue.

" Get me another blood replenishing potion," a healer ordered as he worked over her arm. An intern handed him the potion and paled at the sight of the mangled limb.

" Sir will you amputate it?" she asked in an astonished voice. The man wiped his forehead with his arm and glanced at the intern. He looked around the group operating on the girl and frowned. They were trying to salvage her not save her.

There was something to the girl's presence. She seemed like a fighter and from the scars along her ribs he knew he was right. Clearing his throat, he spoke.

" Listen up. Auror Alastor Moody came in with this girl. He distinctly informed me that if she died he'd jinx all our arses. She's going to be an auror and not any normal one. She's not going to jump into things and die bravely like all the others. She's going to live humbly and save people is what he said. We've lost so many people today and I refuse to add Lily Evans to that list," he declared.

The healers around the girl nodded in apt attention and at the conclusion of his statement. A third year bustled into the room and handed him a vial. He frowned at the clear liquid and the third year squeaked out an answer.

" Someone delivered it down in the office. They said it was for Lily Evans. Sir, what is it?' the resident asked.

" Phoenix tears," he answered with a wide grin. Leo Prewitt felt something in his heart as he took the vial and dripped a few to the girls' cut. For the first time in months they had gotten a message from Dumbledore and he'd be damned to kill the girl who was the reason for it.

While the healers worked over Lily Evans' body, none seemed to notice the sudden appearance of a certain star over her collarbones around dawn. They were so absorbed in saving the girl that they didn't notice a spell shot towards the birthmark from a man who wasn't supposed to be in the room. None of them even saw him lean down near her face and press a kiss to her forehead.

They didn't hear the man, who was once a healer at Mungos and wizarding royalty, inform Lily Evans that he was so sorry.

Maybe that had something to do with Pericles Gastor's knack with invisibility charms. Maybe that's how he got away with reading books in the forbidden section of Hogwarts Library. But that was none of the healers' business really.

Lily fought the urge to smack Pericles's invisible form. Sure no one else could see him but she could. The memory of seeing him storm into the castle and lay siege to it came sharply to Lily's mind and she blanched. She hovered over her unconscious form with worry until Pericles finally left her room.

Lily presumed that she never really realized how bad the extent of her wounds was until she glanced over the healers to see her own form. Something like bile, if that was possible, crept up her throat from the blood and bones.

She wondered how this was ever possible. Had she died perhaps? But from a glance at the sonic heartbeat charm a nurse kept up, Lily could see her heart was weakly pounding away. Even then she could make out the transparent form of her body.

Magic seemed like the only plausible answer for her situation. How else could she be standing over her unconscious form? It was almost as if she were a ghost. But Lily refused to believe that she was even that close to death. For Merlin's sake she survived a Dementor's kiss. There was no way she'd die from blood loss on a healer's table.

The man who seemed in charge looked oddly similar to Alice Prewitt. But there were a few differences here and there. Lily knew that Alice had a brother but he was long dead. She wondered if the healer whose tag said Leo Prewitt was a cousin of sorts.

Her eyes skimmed from his apt attention to her wounds over to her face. It was a mess of bruises and blood. Her left eye remained closed and a healer began to sweat slightly as he pulled a shard of glass from directly under it. Lily winced and wondered how she hadn't noticed the glass embedding itself there.

Unlike James, Lily didn't seem younger while she was asleep. Her body looked ragged and ravished. Deep pits sat under her eyes and there was a distinct scorch mark near her lip. A light slash cantered across her forehead and from the dust and ash in it, Lily knew that it was infected.

She reached out to brush her hair aside before realizing painfully that a large amount of it had been pulled away from her face. The redness around her neck and shoulders was blood not crimson locks.

" Don't worry I heard Burke call a cosmetic healer. That nasty gash won't scar," a voice declared near Lily's ear. There was a dull familiarity to that voice. It sounded like childhood laughter and old memories that could never fade.

She didn't whirl around because Lily didn't need to know who was behind her. She was terrified of knowing who he was. So Lily turned slowly and met a tall almost lanky boy. She didn't even know that her relief was visible for him to see. A loud rich laugh came out of the boy's mouth and he grinned.

" Sorry but your favorite brother's not available for this. I guess you're stuck with me," he replied. Lily pursed her lips and dragged her eyes over the transparent form of the being before speaking.

" I never disliked you, well until you threatened innocent people," Lily muttered. She felt an arm slip over her shoulder and didn't bother to shove it away like she would have if he was still alive. Even if she wasn't too close with him when he was alive, Lily still dreaded each second that past. It meant that he would leave sooner.

" Glad to hear that. Maybe now I can go off to wherever mum and dad are," Lucian muttered. Lily's eyes widened at his statement; what did he mean? Lucian caught her expression and ruffled his hair with a careless edge.

" I suppose I'm disappointed in you Mary. Mind if I call you that? I've listened to Julius babble on and on about you. I guess now we know who's the favorite sibling," Lucian continued in a drawl. Lily felt oddly uncomfortable hearing him mention Julius but he didn't seem aware as he pulled her along with him.

" Are you a ghost?" Lily asked in a nervous tone. Lucian's expression froze and a disgusted look overcame his features before it was replaced with a blank expression.

" I'd never choose to stay here and watch you lot forget about me. I mean my bloody fiancé is off shacking up with Alex Moody for Merlin's sake! I really did not need to see that. Nor did I need to see you and a certain James Potter snog in a broom closet. You're lucky Jason managed to end that or I would've run Potter through with one of those brooms," Lucian declared.

A tick of annoyance came to Lily's mind at his speech but something seemed off about it. He wasn't a ghost; no one else could see him. And from his statement it was clear that he didn't choose this.

" What exactly are you?" Lily asked in wary tone. Lucian's blank expression turned up into a wolfish cold one and she could almost identify the strong brother of her memories. This Lucian looked weaken and tired of whatever life brought him.

" Trapped, that's what I am. According to Julius if you die without peace you'll end up like us. Most people managed to get a second of self-realization in their last moments and it's enough to take them over to the other side. I guess mentally screaming that I refuse to die must have pissed off fate," Lucian admitted in a dark tone.

He continued to pull Lily out of the room and she stopped in the doorway. " I can't leave," she declared pathetically. Lucian's lips pulled up slowly and for once he looked like something of kin to her. His hand rubbed her back comfortingly as his eyes turned to face the doorway.

" It's not up to the healers to save you, it's up to you. And if I want to get out of this damn purgatory then I've got to help you," Lucian explained. Before Lily could protest, something in her naval shifted and dread settled over her. Apparently the dead could apparate.

" This is seriously depressing. You brought me to your dead decomposing body," Lily commented as she realized where Lucian apparated her to. They were in the Holy Seven's section of the cemetery where the Gastor family was buried.

Lily leaned down so she was level with the four tombs before her. The names of her brothers and parents seemed oddly uncomfortable as she reached out and traced her finger along the letters in Lucian's tomb.

" Jason used to come here and do his summer homework right next to my grave. When I was alive I'd help him with Transfiguration- he's awful at it," Lucian noted. Lily turned to see him leaning against an old willow tree. His form did not disturb the snow on the branches.

" Earlier you said something about Julius," Lily stated promptly. She removed her hand from Lucian's tomb and let it rest on her knee before looking at Julius's. She hadn't attended either's funeral but the quote beneath seemed oddly familiar. _Love can hold you together_.

" Did I?" Lucian asked as he walked over to her. Lily tried not to pay attention to how his feet left no marks against the heavy snow. " Odd isn't it? Cassius picked those. I suppose he's a real romantic deep down inside," Lucian commented. Something about how he said it made Lily think that he knew exactly where her missing brother was.

" A year ago I had a good life. Now I've got a troublesome sister to deal with and death to reach. It's strange to think that out of the four siblings I've got left, you're the easier to save. I always thought you'd be the first to die," Lucian continued.

" What exactly are you supposed to save me from?" Lily asked. His features caught a glimpse of moonlight and Lucian looked like lightening as he answered.

" Yourself. You could die right now. Just say the word and you'll be dead. I mean you'll have to walk to where your grave is going to be but it's simple enough. I'm supposed to convince you to live," Lucian admitted.

" But I don't want to die," Lily argued. Her eyebrows knotted together and Lucian chuckled weakly. He seemed to grow paler as he spoke.

" Once you find out what you've got to do in order to free that nasty extra bit of magic in you, I think you'll want to die."

Lily turned from the graves and swallowed hard. She knew the vague details of the process. It was excruciating and horrific to the point where only one person ever tried it before. Others killed themselves before letting the fire out of control or choosing to free it. Giving up magic was easy but when it clung to every part of you, well that was a lot harder.

" I killed Evan Rosier yesterday," Lily started. She felt so uneasy; Evan was Lucian's best friend. She hadn't expected Lucian's hand to squeeze Lily's shoulder and for him to give her an encouraging expression.

" I saw that yesterday. Didn't you think it was odd that so few pieces of the wall hit you? I've been doing my part to keep you from killing yourself," Lucian replied. His answer seemed slightly bitter but Lily did not press him for more.

" As much as the death eaters deny it, they've lost just as much as we have. And honestly, there's no way we'll win the war. I feel like no one is going to win this war. Voldemort has power but we have hope. And he'll have to kill hope to kill us," Lily explained.

" You're not wrong. The war is coming to an end, a much-deserved end. But even if you think there's no balance there is. After yesterday, the death eaters started to realize that they've lost most of their fighting force. It's not the old politicians fighting this war. Maybe twenty years ago they were but now it's our generation," Lucian explained.

Behind him, the sun was starting to rise over the early Friday morning. Lily watched as her brother moved towards her and took her transparent hand. He felt cold- something Lily hadn't felt in a very long time.

" Julius and I died fighting a war we didn't believe in. But you believe in it. You believe that magic is not power; you believe that it is a gift that can be given or taken. Lily you're not close to being done. You're just getting started really. But you can choose to die and leave this world for others to carry. Or you can suffer and endure and maybe hopefully prevail," Lucian announced.

" It could kill me," Lily revealed dismally. Her brother nodded and turned her to face the graves. His grip seemed to fade slightly as he waved his free hand. The snow in front of the graves melted away and she could see the remains of dead flowers in front of them.

" Professor Dumbledore once told me something. Killing is not so easy as the innocent believe. It takes your soul and shatters it. If you choose to lead this path, you're going to have to kill. You might die or you might live. But the alternative is so much worse. A flame of glory isn't worth it Lily, because you can change this war. You can make it so boys like Julius and me won't have to go through what we went through. I hope that one day boys won't be soldiers, they'll just be boys," Lucian remarked.

" I could have died yesterday and that doesn't scare me," she publicized. A flock of sparrows flew overhead and a wand rustled gently in the air.

" I wish I wasn't afraid of dying. But I'm already dead. The world is going to change with or without us."

" Do you ever check up on Eliza?" Lily asked. She wondered if she died whom she'd watch.

" I used to but it wasn't fair to be around her. I always had a feeling she knew I was there. She's gotten peace I suppose. Eliza left for France after the battle yesterday. You might have seen her actually. She hit Lucius Malfoy with a terrific hex. Sorry, I mean that she's found her peace and is moving on. I think she's opening a flower store in a muggle village there," Lucian answered.

Lily bit her lip. From what she remembered about Lucian and Eliza, they seemed passionate and in love. Marlene said that Eliza was a mess at most pureblood gatherings. Although Eliza attended Order meetings, Lily never found reason to speak to her. If anything she tried to avoid the haunted girl.

What Lucian said was exactly what she needed. She wasn't afraid of dying but she was afraid to leave her friends and loved ones. They needed her but they could move on too. If she did take this quest, then there were no sure things about it.

Promising Jason and Marlene that she would return wasn't right but it was the only way they'd set her free. Michael understood what she had to sacrifice. He'd seen it in his parents' deaths and even in their own kidnapping.

If she died, no one would be truly scarred. And maybe Lily was selfish for wanting someone to never get over her. Yet that was impossible. All wounds, no matter how deep would heal.

" I suppose I'd like to live Lucian. I'd like to fight for this with all my heart and come back here. Who knows maybe I'll die trying but I won't die without a fight," Lily vowed.

Lucian's lips pulled up into a true smile and he sighed. His form seemed to shine in the forming sunlight. His eyes widened as he watched something in the distance. Lily turned to see a knife fly into the cemetery. She recognized it immediately as the knife she found aboard the Hogwarts Express.

" Lucian duck!" Lily screamed. But he turned to her with a peaceful expression. Lily supposed that she had never seen Lucian truly at peace. There was also a bit of tension around his figure no matter how much he tried to hide it.

She flinched as the knife embedded itself into his chest and his form shifted. It made a solid noise and actual blood gushed from the wound. A groan escaped his mouth and he fell to the ground.

" What's going on?" Lily demanded as hot tears came to her eyes. This was impossible- how could he be dying again? Lucian opened his eyes and blood trickled from his mouth. He was solid now and Lily placed her hand at the knife trying to stop the blood.

" I'm free. I've done my part- you're going to fight for this and maybe save the world," Lucian croaked. A sob hitched in Lily's throat and he raised his hand weakly to clasp hers.

" I'm not dying Lily. I've been dead for too long. I'm getting my peace and one day you'll understand what that means. Do me a favor Lils," Lucian said. Lily nodded and brushed a lanky curl of hair back. His lips were dry before he coughed blood onto the bottom corner.

" Anything Luke," Lily said. A weak grin came onto his face as he met her eyes. He seemed comforted by the childhood nickname.

" Fall in love with someone who can take your broken pieces apart and put you back together properly- he'll make you whole again," Lucian asked. His eyes filled with pain and his back arched as he looked up at the forming sunrise.

" Boys not soldiers," Lucian gasped as his eyes dimmed to dead stars. Lily reached to close his eyes but his form shifted before her eyes. She stumbled back and watched, as it seemed to crumble into ash. Wind came and blew him away making Lily wonder if any of this was even real.

For the next thing to happen was Lily bolting awake in a bed in St. Mungos.

* * *

September 1964

King's Cross Station

Fading Smoke

" Perry write at least once a week. I can't handle having another child's head of house send home a letter explaining that he was the reason a month long prank war started," Delphina Gastor explained as she brushed Pericles' lanky locks back.

Julius's lips twitched up slightly as his solemn younger brother nodded as though he was going into war. Pericles wasn't anything like him; Julius could hardly imagine Pericles anywhere but in the library.

Cassius and Lucian began to badger Pericles about Hogwarts and Julius took the opportunity to look wistfully around the station. For the first time in seven years he wouldn't be going to Hogwarts.

Reporters were around but after catching a few pictures of the Gastor family, they left. Julius thought that had something to do with his dad's cold answers and stares. William Gastor hadn't been terrifically pleased when Julius turned down the internship with the Wizengamot to play Quidditch for Puddlemere United.

Before Andromeda left him, Julius would've gone to the Ministry. But that was an entire summer ago and now he couldn't stand the idea of running into her in an elevator or anything like that. Rodolphus said that she eloped with some muggleborn from Hufflepuff and took up work with the auror academy.

She was everything once but now Julius couldn't seem to do anything but try and move on. He'd never be able to and was thankful that he had four younger brothers for his parents' sake. Meda had his heart and even if she did leave him at the alter; Julius could never stop loving her.

" Any words of wisdom?" Pericles asked. Julius ruffled his hair and smiled at his brother. He couldn't go back and redo his past but then again he didn't want to. Hogwarts was gold and amazing. Although he lost so much, Julius found a new cause to live for.

He'd spent the past few weeks balancing Quidditch and death eater raids successfully. Julius felt like he was finally doing something right even if his father grew more and more distant.

He was doing this so Jason and Lily could grow up without a war. The Dark Lord was too persistent to lose and if Julius fought hard enough maybe the war could end before Lily ever had to face it. Jason already did and that sickened him. His brother was five and the Dark Lord showed interest in the idea of a prodigy.

" Don't grow up too quickly kid. Your life is starting right now," Julius replied. Pericles's lips picked up and he glanced towards the glossy red engine with anticipation.

" I can't wait to be there," he declared. Something in Julius's broken tattered heart lifted because once he was Pericles. Now he had a pathway set and secure; be society's golden boy by day, and the last soldier in his family by night. And he'd be damned to see a dark mark on Pericles' innocent arm.

" It's coming sooner than you think," he muttered when Pericles disappeared into the crowd of students heading for the train. His hand was wrapped around Lucian's and his mother stood next to him holding Cassius's hand as their father helped Pericles get his luggage onto the train.

" I wish you'd consider staying with us," his mum sighed. Julius felt Lucian's small hands rub against his jeans. He'd never be able to have kids or get married. The bride would never be as alive as Meda and his kids would never have her laugh or her vibrant passionate eyes.

" You've hardly got an empty nest mum. One done and five more to get across the platform," he teased. Lucian and Cassius spoke in small voices that terrified Julius. He could imagine them growing up too quickly and losing them too soon. He'd need time to end this war and he didn't have much of that.

" You were a right nightmare. Pericles and Cassius won't be any trouble but I've got my doubts about Jason and Lucian," she replied with a soft laugh. Julius raised an eyebrow and gestured to her hair.

" What about Marie?" he asked. Lily or Marie as he preferred to call her wasn't a baby anymore. She'd be on the platform soon enough and Julius nearly broke into a sweat at the thought of her facing the war.

" Don't worry Jules, I've got a plan for her," his mother vowed. Julius hoped to Merlin that she did because he couldn't imagine Lily sitting on the side lines or joining the Dark Lord. He could see her doing something that sent shivers down his back. Julius could imagine Lily ending up like Meda because both of them were the same stubborn fierce people that he loved more than anything.

He watched as the Hogwarts express faded away. Something inside of him longed to be aboard the train. Julius simply could not believe that he'd never return to the castle again. He could never play a game of Quidditch or muck about in the library with his mates. It was over and there was no going back.

That night, Julius Gastor attended the first true massacre of the Death Eaters. Before the Knights of Walpurgis were a political movement with an air of darkness around them. Now their new stance was death and a snake in the sky.

He'd been given the honor of watching the Dark Lord put up the first dark mark in the eternal sky. And Julius hoped that there would only be a few more dark marks before the war was over. He couldn't have been more wrong.

* * *

December 1976

Thursday Afternoon

Charms Class

Behind the Glass

James scowled as Remus's leg bobbed up and down. The full moon wasn't until next week but Remus's strange behavior came from an entirely different reason, one James expected to have something to do with the other two members of the Marauders.

" Padfoot's getting debriefed right now," Remus muttered more to himself than James. Even then James nodded and Remus visibly slumped.

" McKinnon's getting discharged before dinner," James added. Remus nodded and held his face in his hands. Most people in the room weren't paying much attention to them and that was a first. After all, there was only about ten students left in their class. Professor Flitwick had not seen a point in a lesson with half the class missing and informed the class that they'd be helping him with decorations.

" Jason wrote to you right?" Remus asked. James placed a hand on Remus's shoulder so Remus's frantic eyes met his own.

" He wrote the letter to you actually. He's fine Moony. The Healers said he'll be out before school ends," James continued. Remus nodded and returned to the bells he made. James glanced around the room and swallowed hard at the three empty chairs that the sixth year Gryffindors took.

Jason didn't say anything about Lily's state other than that he was working on finding out what was going on with her. Apparently he and Wood teamed up to find her room. James hardly believed that story.

" Does your wreath have anything to do with a certain red head?" Remus asked as he finished his bells.

James swallowed at the wreath he'd conjured. He'd transfigured quills to become an animated stag and doe that danced across the wreath. Heat flooded to the tips of his ears and he coughed.

" Mind your own business," he snapped. Remus chuckled and cracked his back before leaning back in his chair. James jumped slightly at an explosion from behind him and glared at the stupid Hufflepuff whose wreath was on fire. A girl from Ravenclaw put it out before James could hex the Hufflepuff.

" I wake up early too Prongs. How many times did you sneak her out of our dorm in the last month?" Remus asked in a sickly innocent voice. Flitwick began to write their winter assignment on the board and James scrawled it down before he flicked Remus's shoulder.

" Like I said mind your own business. Besides, Lily wouldn't do anything in our dorm with her brother six feet away," James justified. Remus shook his head and handed his bells to Cressida who was picking up the decorations.

" You like her admit it. You're probably madly in love too. Padfoot told me about that lovely little drawing of yours during Defense last week," Remus continued. James's mind went to a blank and he glared stubbornly at Remus.

His pocket felt like it was on fire and he suddenly regretted not throwing out or burning the doodle of the snitch he'd made during a lecture. But there was something comforting to seeing Lily's name on paper, especially with it tied to his.

" It doesn't matter what I want Moony. She hates me," James answered back in a snappish tone. Remus shrugged and shoved his parchment into his ragged bag. He and Remus had one thing in common that neither Sirius nor Jason could relate to; they were something of kin to tornados. Although James's lack of care for his appearance was called rugged, Remus's was noted as shabbily cute.

" She's not terribly fond of you but she doesn't hate you James. I'd say she has to fight herself from loving you," Remus replied. James nodded and cracked his knuckles before glancing at the clock. Charms was almost over and he had his debriefing session with the aurors right after. Although Alastor Moody and Caradoc Dearborn vouched that he fought alongside them, Rick Vance, the auror in charge of the investigation, had his suspicions.

James regretted turning Rick's skin green once at a dinner when he was nine, after finding out that Rick was the one doing the investigation. He needed to be ready to hear anything on Lily's case not getting interrogated by an American Auror.

" James can I take that?" Cressida asked in a flirtatious voice. James looked up to see that she was biting her lips and felt coldness settle over him. Lily looked deep in thought or emotional when she did that but Cressida looked sluggish.

" Here," he answered throwing the wreath into her basket. He wasn't rude enough to inform Cressida that it was quite obvious that she had unbuttoned the first two buttons on her shirt before coming to his side of the table from Remus's. James wouldn't shame his mum like that.

" I couldn't help but overhear that you fancy someone. Care to share Jamie?" Cressida asked. James pursed his lips and shot her a golden smile similar to one of Jason's before shaking his head. Being a gentleman was getting much harder.

He glanced towards Remus before letting his lips settle into a smirk. While a hand reached up to run through his tangled locks, James leaned forward and his knee bounced slightly.

Yet before he could deliver a velvet-covered bullet to Cressida, Remus intervened. He leaned forward so his pale blue eyes locked with her sharp almond ones. " Shouldn't you give those decorations to Professor Flitwick?" he asked in a colder tone. Cressida's face split into an ugly expression and she was barely able to sputter out an answer as the bell rang.

James slung his bag over his shoulder and shot Remus a grateful grin before walking from the classroom with his mate. One of the few benefits of having a werewolf for a brother was that he could lie like a magician. Sometimes James wondered if Remus was made from smoke and mirrors after all.

That night at dinner James got an owl. A letter dropped from the darkened sky to the side of the table next to his barely touched plate. He stared at the golden beast that delivered it for a second before ripping the letter open carelessly. A pounding sensation grew sharply in place of his heart as he scanned the letter. Jason's familiar handwriting did little to comfort him; he had to know if Lily was all right.

His day was ruined from the moment he woke up. After Charms, the interview went drastically downhill. Rick Vance seemed terribly impressed with his dueling abilities during the siege the day before and instead of a proper interrogation; James suffered for an hour listened to the many aspects of joining the aurors. By the end, he almost flashed his dark mark at the annoying American.

Talking about the future wasn't his favorite topic. Ever since James was a kid, his path had been chosen for him. All he had to do was go to his weekly lessons and excel on the missions the dark lord assigned him. The rest of his life was easy enough.

But living with people who had no particular idea what they wanted to do made him grow uneasy. Along with his peers were the forces outside of the school trying to recruit him for departments or teams. The past of his family and his own capabilities in school made him into a legacy of sorts.

Sure, James hadn't been able to get higher scores than his father on the OWLS. But Charlus Potter was beyond a legend. He dominated the DADA and Charms OWLS with only a handful of people getting high scores than him in history. Individuals like that included Dumbledore, the dark lord, and even Lucian Gastor. But Lucian's aptness at charms wouldn't do much to save him from a lifetime of being a soldier; which led to an almost inevitable death.

Being something of a legend with a clear path made life all too easy, well that was before Lily came into his. He swallowed hard and let his finger fold down the corner of the dried parchment at the thought of Lily.

She was similar to him in ways she couldn't even comprehend. Both of them faced the fact that there could be so many futures for them but only one truly seemed to fit. James knew his destiny like the back of his hand and Lily preferred to cover hers with a glove shaped like the path of an auror.

He knew that she'd make a terrific auror but by the time they graduated, James doubted that Lily would want to fulfill the future aurors' pathway and vow. She wasn't fit for the work of what the dark lord had planned for the future aurors.

Finally, James scanned the letter and found his lips pulling up slightly. He was too distracted to notice that Sirius had taken his seat across from him and that Marlene McKinnon returned to the hall with the Gryffindors. She had a bandage around her collarbone but looked relatively fine.

" She's going to be fine," James, muttered several times before reality hit him hard. Lily was going to be fine. She wasn't dying or dead or losing her arm. She'd live to see him again and maybe this was it for her. Maybe what happened yesterday was enough for her to realize that she was meant to be with him.

Around him, the mood turned brighter slightly. Remus filled Sirius in on their schoolwork and an end of the year prank James and he had planned right after Quidditch practice. James's ears seemed to melt as he reread Jason's letter over and over again.

There was something slightly unsettling to it though. Lily shouldn't have been able to heal that quickly, something or someone helped her and James felt sick to his gut that he spent the day living the life of the average Hogwarts student. He played the game of a teenager but he wasn't an average wizard.

Truly there was nothing average about James Potter and that included matters involving Lily Evans.

* * *

December 1976

Thursday Evening

Gaunt Manor

A Fork in the Road

" Dad I'd really prefer to be back in Hogwarts," Sirius muttered beneath his breath. Orion Black shot him a dirty look before facing the front of the manor. It was bloody cold and the Dark Lord had most of his inner circle waiting in a crowd in front of his manor.

It seemed surreal that only a few hours ago he'd seen Marlene off from the Hospital wing. Now he was attending the last gathering of the Death Eaters before the holidays. Although the leader was missing, most of the attendees seemed in a terribly good mood.

James and Jason's last mission paid off. It took them four months to figure this out but eventually the pair was able to create markers that only death eaters could see. The markers were placed on muggleborns during an incident in the Great Hall weeks ago and now they paid off.

Sirius knew that both of them were unaware of the attack on Hogwarts. They'd expected one during the end of the school year on the train. But he couldn't help but blame his friends for this. Marlene and him were hurt and he doubted he'd ever forget what it was like to watch someone slowly bleed out.

Shivers ran down his back as he remembered watching Lily's blood pool around her. It was different than watching muggles or others die. James loved her and Sirius was closer to James than anyone else.

Lily Gastor was a mystery to him. She reminded him of someone but Sirius couldn't put his finger on who it was. She tried so hard to be someone she wasn't and the truth would inevitably come out. Sirius only hoped that James wouldn't be caught in the crossfire.

There was something he always found slightly perturbing about his friends. James and Jason were in constant competition and Lily was just another thing they'd fight over. Sirius hoped to Merlin that James would win this fight; but he doubted either would admit defeat.

He rubbed his hands together and sucked in a breath of cold air before looking around for James or Remus. Sirius spotted Remus with Mulciber and Dolohov. He raised an eyebrow at this; word had it that both were going to be held back a year since they didn't have enough classes to graduate. He hoped not though, going through a seventh year with two dung stones in his year would be horrible.

" Your uncle's having a field day with Abraxas Malfoy's death," his dad noted. Sirius vaguely remembered hearing of the stern headmaster's passing hours ago. He didn't care much though as Malfoy seemed to show a certain disdain for him. Most of the Black family seemed fully aware that Sirius was shadowed behind his friends.

" Why?" he asked in a toneless voice. Orion Black's eyes slid over to his figure and Sirius refused to face his father. He didn't want to see the disappointment in his eyes.

It started when Jason's parents past away Sirius supposed. Something broke in his brother and Sirius watched as he delved deeper and deeper into the dark arts. The only thing that seemed to keep Jason afloat was their touchy friendship. No one else could see it other than him and Remus.

James was too caught up trying to keep Lily from killing herself in some failed attempt at being a martyr and everybody else just didn't care. There seemed to be something lurking behind all of Jason's smiles and glowing eyes. The life was gone and there was an empty hulk of a person left.

" Think about it. Death eaters were killed or captured; one of whom wasn't his daughter but the man who demanded for quite a hefty dowry," Orion answered.

Sirius shoved his hands into the pockets of his cloak and snorted. Of course his Uncle Cygnus would take pleasure from someone dying. If a man crossed Cygnus Black once then he'd always be blacklisted.

" Cissy," Sirius started. But his dad's firm look made him roll his eyes. " I mean Narcissa. She wrote to me. Says that Lucius has gotten it into his mind that he ought to run for minister," Sirius explained.

" The Malfoy boy's too young. He'll be there in time. Besides, he just got married, there's other things to worry about," Orion replied icily. Sirius nodded and turned away to glance around the crowds again. Where was James?

His dad turned to speak with some older ministry blokes. The topic of choice was Evan Rosier's death and Eliza Rosier disappearing. Sirius tried to ignore their tones of blatant disgust as he scanned the crowds.

Remus met his eyes and mouthed to him a question. Sirius shrugged and looked around once again, James wouldn't miss a meeting, he never did. The crowds began to grow quiet in waves and Sirius knew who arrived. He could tell from the change in the air. His blood chilled and it took him everything to force his eyes up to the front of the Manor where the Dark Lord stood.

His red eyes didn't meet Sirius's but seemed to scan the crowds. They landed on Sirius's form and those thin dry lips pursed.

" Mr. Black I heard of your recent heroics. I was quite pleased to hear that you managed to save the lives of two purebloods," he addressed. Sirius swallowed hard and felt sweat form on his hands. He wasn't afraid; no Sirius Black was petrified. He'd watched the Dark Lord strike down anybody in his path including his father.

" Thank you my lord," Sirius managed to say in a choked tone. The red eyes left his form and turned to the crowds once again. Relief lifted Sirius's shoulders and he could feel his father looking at him for pride. It wouldn't last for long.

" The recent attack on Hogwarts was one that took me months to choose to make. We've lost some of our best forces including Abraxas Malfoy and the heir to the Rosier household. When I began this revolution, I told each and every one of you there would be sacrifices and there were many two days ago. The auror office is weak and ministry members are fleeing the country. Minister Bagnold is being pressured to leave her position by her closest companions according to my sources. Most importantly; Dumbledore's little organization is dwindling. My inner circle and I predict that before June we will control the British Wizarding World," he declared.

Cheers and claps broke out across the gathering. Sirius didn't clap. He could see Remus clapping and even some of the more reluctant members of the Death Eaters. But Sirius's attention was focused on the red gaze of the Dark Lord.

The meeting continued and Sirius's mind began to wonder slightly. James was still missing and different mission teams were giving their reports. Thankfully, Remus took out a quill and a notebook and began scribbling down notes for James and Jason.

Sirius left his father's side and walked in and out of clumps of people. Even if the Death Eaters tried to pretend they were better than everybody else, they still had their own hierarchy. Ministry workers tended to band together and more dedicated members saw it as their job to stand near wary ones and ensure loyalty. Those in the Dark Lord's inner circle seemed to gravitate to each other and the younger members stood together like sheep.

Remus looked up from his notes and caught Sirius's eyes with a tight smile. Sirius wondered if he'd ever seen an easy smile on Remus's face. Certainly there was nothing easy about Remus Lupin.

" He's not coming," Remus whispered. His breath came out in a low exhale and Sirius felt a pang in his gut; the full moon was coming. Remus Lupin's body could be a calendar. As the days grew closer to a full moon, he'd developed sundials beneath his eyes. The hard breaths he took grew louder with each passing hour and Sirius always tended to rub his upper arm when he saw the pain crackling in his friend's eyes.

" He's missing this to do what exactly?" Sirius asked in a gruff tone. The wind whipped around groups fiercely yet no one moved to bundle closer to each other. They had to be strong. Sirius was a soldier not a boy.

" Jason sent word from Mungos. Lily's awake," Remus explained. Sirius raised an eyebrow and looked up to see that the Dark Lord was taking questions and reports. He ducked from view when his father rose to the stand and scanned the crowds for his form.

" Everything's about Lily isn't it?" Sirius snorted. Remus's lips tightened but he allowed a low laugh to escape.

" She's his McKinnon Padfoot. Give Prongs a break, he hasn't gotten the six years that you've had with McKinnon," Remus empathized.

" James never cared about girls or love or even being nice to anyone but us before," Sirius justified. Remus moved his hand from the notebook and pulled something from his pocket. Sirius watched as Remus shot down the pain relief potion and shook his face with a clearly disgusted expression.

" Bugger that's shite," Remus muttered as he capped the draught and kept it into his pocket. " Things change, people grow up even boys who used to bet who could shag more girls in a week," Remus mused.

" He's acting like a ponce Moony! I swear if I hear Lily bloody Evans sneaking out of our dorm one more time," Sirius exclaimed. Remus's eyes flashed and he raised an eyebrow in a coldly amused gesture. It reminded Sirius of how much the Marauders shaped each other because the Remus he knew was shy not cold and amused.

" You and McKinnon occupied every broom closet I ever opened on patrol."

" That's different. We snuck around since Marlene didn't want to dump that prick she was dating. I dealt with that. Prongs isn't doing anything. Meanwhile Evans drapes herself over every bloody boy in Hogwarts!"

Remus grew quiet and the crowds began to mill about. Pale fingers shut the cover of Remus's notebook and his watery blue eyes met Sirius's.

" Why do you hate her so much?"

Sirius ran a hand through his curled locks and sighed. He looked around and met his father's eyes. Even though the Dark Lord had just complimented Sirius there was no pride in Orion Black's eyes. All he heard were the other accomplishments James Potter and Jason Gastor made; all of which were so much better than what Sirius did.

He didn't care. Sirius did not care how much better his friends were at this than he was. It wasn't even like he wanted to join the Death Eaters. He had to uphold some sense of duty and honor for his family not for himself. If given the choice, Sirius would have run for the hills. He had a choice but he chose wrong. So many things could be different.

" I don't hate Lily. I'm fucking scared that she's going to break James and Jason. They're our family Moony not her. She's got nothing to lose and everything to destroy," Sirius answered softly.

In another life he could have been best mates with Michael Wood and Benjy Fenwick. In another lifetime the walls of his bedroom would be covered with red and gold. In another lifetime Marlene would never hate him; she would love him. In another lifetime Sirius Black could have been the one defending the weak not torturing them.

But he chose this lifetime. He made a choice between freedom and honor. He chose Slytherin over Gryffindor and that made all the difference.

* * *

December 1976

Friday Morning

Hogwarts

Happily Ever After

He was in love with a fairytale. Her porcelain skin was flushed and her lips were pulled up in a regal smile as she regarded the snow. Long curls tumbled down her back and landed softly against the railing of the pitch like darkness.

When Adam was a kid, one of his governesses was a muggleborn. She read him a book about a princess with hair as black as ebony, lips as red as blood and skin as white as snow. If there was any girl that fit that description it was Emmeline.

She couldn't help but look regal. It was something Adam noticed when he was young and gangly and so cruel. There was something queenly to the lift in her lips and the curve of her jawline. The planes of her raised cheekbones looked almost like sloping castles.

Emmeline's pensive silver eyes looked up and Adam smiled warmly as he took one of her curls between his fingers and played with the soft lock as they gazed towards the rising sun.

" My dad used to take Marlene and me to the pitch we shared with the Prewitts every morning in the summer," Adam acknowledged. He didn't talk about his childhood much. Emmeline stopped pressing for information on it and instead settled with sharing everything about hers with him.

Adam knew all of the places she hid in the Vance Estate by heart when her mom was having a fit or when Rick left. He knew where she stored the muggle books from her first love and how much it destroyed her to see that boy die.

She told him everything and Adam couldn't say anything. He supposed it was almost ironic that once he got Emmeline Vance she wanted to give him the sun and moon but he couldn't even give her a damn balloon.

Emmeline's fingers tightened around the railing and Adam looked around the Pitch. He was surprised no one was flying today morning. But then again the game that most likely defined which House would get the cup was tomorrow; a game with half of the Gryffindor team.

" Marlene liked rainy days the best. Right after a night storm when everything seems to glow and the flowers are bigger was her favorite time," Adam continued. He didn't miss Emmeline's face displaying slight disappointment. But Adam McKinnon refused to share any bit of his screwed up childhood with Emmeline Vance.

" She's not going to be my sister tomorrow. She'll be the future Mrs. Black first and then Adam McKinnon's sister second," he admitted. He knew it was wrong to talk to Emmeline of all people about losing Marlene. After all he took her from her family or what was left of it.

" You want me to tell you lies and I can't do that. Honestly neither of us knows if Marlene will hold out against the compulsion charms or if she'll lose herself to Black. All I know is that she knows too much; your sister is a liability and Merlin knows you love you but Adam you have to be the one to take her to Moody tonight," Emmeline explained.

Snow fell slowly from the sky and threaded its way into Emmeline's warm brown hair. It wasn't as dark as ebony but life wasn't a fairytale. Adam knew for a long time he'd never get a fairytale.

" In less than 24 hours I could lose her."

" You don't have that time Adam. You had seventeen years to show her how much she meant to you. Today is her day to be free one last time. Don't take that from her."

Adam smiled at this. Emmeline was right. It wasn't as though he was just discovering that Marlene wouldn't be his sister tomorrow. He knew for years. Today was her day to find something or to say goodbye.

" Have I ever told you how lucky I am to have such an amazing girlfriend?" Adam asked in a teasing voice. Emmeline's lips pulled up and she raised an eyebrow with all the grace of every damn muse.

" No you haven't," she answered as she ducked her head softly and brushed her hair back. Adam slipped his arm around her waist and held her tightly. He led her from the stands to the castle.

In reality Emmeline was pulling Adam back to the castle.

" She's a bloody fairytale. Eyes like the stars and lips as red as blood. She's even got the princess smile and the whole woodland charm going," Adam mused. Emmeline laughed and shoved him good heartedly.

" She sounds lovely. But I'm going to raise your princess with a Prince Charming. Mine's got eyes like lightning and a kiss that could wake up even the most cursed princess to exist," Emmeline teased.

And maybe they were a fairytale because in some way both found happily ever after light years before anybody else. But then again they were living in a way.

Neither of them knew that in seven months only one of them would be at a funeral with Marlene McKinnon crying all over their shoulder. Maybe Happily Ever After was a curse of some sorts. The universe always had a way of stabbing people in the back.

* * *

December 1976

Friday Afternoon

St. Mungos

Four truths and one lie

Dear Mum,

Lily woke up today morning. When I saw her in that hospital bed, I could almost see your body when they found it. She looks terribly like you- sometimes it hurts to look at her.

When Julius told me to write to you I thought he was bloody insane. If he were still alive I'd tell him how much it's helped me this past year. It's almost been a year since you and dad died and Lily returned. I know what I'm supposed to think but I can't.

Honestly I'm a hell of a lot worse off than I was a year ago. Maybe Lily's right and she brings destruction wherever she goes but she also brings clarity. I used to think that what I knew what I was fighting for but those were words that Julius and James put into my mouth. I'm scared that I'm wrong.

Maybe I'm fighting for the wrong thing. It really comes down to the fact that Charlie Brannon is still in my dreams. You wouldn't know him- He's a muggle boy from the village near James's house.

Has Lily ever killed anyone? Have you ever killed anyone? I did. I've killed so many people that there's no point in scrubbing the blood off my hands. Charlie Brannon is one person I'll never be able to get off- even if I put my hands into fire. He was my first kill and it wasn't a clean one.

I didn't mean to be this person. If I were thirteen and saw who I am today I think that I'd hate myself. I don't hate myself today. But I'm not sure this is what I want to do with my life. I don't want to fight a war and when it's over know that I made a mistake.

I miss you more than I'm going to miss Lily. She's going to leave and I think that I may never see her again. But I can't stop her- I'm not important enough. Lily's got a destiny that a hundred times more important than mine. I'm a killer and she's a saver.

I don't want to lose her Mum. I don't want to have to see her tombstone ever in my lifetime. I can't stop her from going. But James can. He's climbed up Lily's mountain of a mind and he's so close to making her never leave. I told her I would support her but that doesn't mean I can't help James too.

Cassius is missing and I'm sure that Pericles lied when he said he didn't know where he was. Tell Dad and Jules and Lucian I said hi. I'll try and stick out of trouble and do my best to help Lily and James. I don't want to choose one of them before the other.

Love,

Jason

Cassius,

The Dark Lord is getting impatient. I hope you know what you're doing.

Jason

Dear Andromeda,

Destroy this when you get it. I was recently introduced to a plan of Orion Black's. It seems that your daughter's condition is no longer a secret- the Dark Lord is terribly interested in her abilities. Sirius wants to help you but he's got his arms tied with his own problems. And as my dad always said, Once a Gastor, always a Gastor. You're family even if you drove my brother insane. I've spoken to various people, who will go unnamed, and have reached the best and most fitting option. You're not going to like it but it's this or going into hiding. We'll meet at your home next Friday to discuss the details of my plan.

Tell your husband to quit his job and work somewhere more inconspicuous. You might do well to quit you job too and do something that won't attract to Nymphadora. I swear this is a one-time offer Black. I will give my other conditions when we meet.

Also Bellatrix had a miscarriage.

Formally,

Jason Gastor

Dear Selena,

I've heard about you from my sister and brother but have never had the pleasure of meeting you. Lily speaks nothing of your kindness and Pericles is beyond devoted to you. I need to see some of that kindness right now. Pericles told me that your father has passed; believe me when I say I'm sorry. Losing your parents doesn't hurt more than it blows. But I'm not writing to you about that.

Your brother died during an attack on Hogwarts and Lily barely got out alive. This must be a lot to hear but I need you to do one favor for me. I've lost a lot of people in my life and Lily has too. She can't lose anymore- she'll break.

I'm begging you not to tell her that your dad is dead. She'll run again and I can't lose her. I lost her one too many times and she's going to run again. I know it and I'm going to do everything possible to make sure she doesn't leave. I can't forbid her to go but all I need is for her to be mentally stable enough for James to do the rest.

She's happy and if you're anything of the sister she's described to me then you'll want her to stay this way. I can guarantee she'll stay in England if she doesn't find out about your dad.

If I could I'd be on my knees begging you. But I can't. I'm not asking for myself, I'm asking this because if Lily runs again she's not going to come back- I'm pretty sure she's set on going out in a flame of glory if you know what I mean.

I'll see you at the wedding; Pericles said you were set on a summer one. He's the only one of us to get sunburned easily so be ready for that.

Sincerely,

Jason, your future brother

Jason,

I'm writing this to you to remind you of something important. You're the last Gastor left. Cassius isn't going to live long enough to produce an heir and Pericles doesn't plan to take the family name after his marriage. You're all that's left and that comes before your love life. You can't fancy that person. I can't let you like someone you can never be with.

Take care,

Jason

* * *

December 1976

Friday Night

St. Mungo's

Can't Promise Love

" You're supposed to be dead," Lily acknowledged as she took a sip of her tea. Seeing Alex Moody and Galen Kingsmill in front of her bed hours after Healers finished their examinations wasn't much to Lily. She'd just seen her dead brother get peace. Lily supposed that a lot of things weren't strange anymore. She wouldn't have been surprised to see Dumbledore and Voldemort come into her room and ask her to be the godmum of their love child at this point. Or maybe it was all the pain potions in her system.

Galen's cheeks turned red and he coughed. Alex shrugged and sat on the end of her bed with a glow to his eyes.

" So are you. I heard there was a betting pool going around with the nurses to see when you'd bleed out," Alex offered. Lily winced and Galen shot him a glare before facing her. He looked beaten down one too many times.

" The Order arranged our deaths. We're going underground in France. Taking new names as aurors from the States and all," Galen explained.

" You're leaving England?" Lily asked in surprise. Galen gave Alex a look and he shrugged.

" This isn't our home; it's yours. I'm sorry Lily but there's a war in my home and I'm lucky that Galen is willing to come with me," Alex replied. Lily swallowed hard and looked down to her bandaged arm. The healers hadn't had a good reason as to why she healed so quickly but Lily knew why.

" Why are you leaving?" she asked Galen. He seemed absolutely tense and his eyes darted to hers. She remembered thinking about him for months. She remembered everything about growing up with him. Sometimes Lily wondered if Galen Kingsmill should have just stayed in her past.

" I've got to go now. Eliza wants to leave the country as soon as possible," Alex muttered as he glanced at his watch. Lucian said Eliza moved on, but Lily hadn't expected her old Head Girl to run away with the shadowed Moody brother.

" Stay safe. Tell Eliza I'm sorry we never got a chance to be sisters," Lily offered. Alex nodded and muttered a disillusioning spell before leaving the room. Her memories seemed warped as she watched Galen. He changed, as had she.

" James Potter."

Lily looked at him in bewilderment wondered why Galen said that name. She thought about James every second that she'd been awake. When the nurse in her room saw that Lily had awoken he called the healers inside. Lily remained silent and wondered if this was it. She could leave right now and start the journey Lucian prepared her for. But she couldn't. Lily couldn't leave simply because the last words she told James was that she hated him.

" You're not a happy person, I never thought I'd ever see you happy. You're not happy now and I doubt you will be any time soon. But James Potter makes you smile- he can give you a lot more than I can. He's not safe and we both know that. He'll destroy you Lily. But he makes you smile. I make you cry," Galen admitted.

Lily met those ocean blue eyes and wondered how she knew they made her free. But Galen was the sun and he couldn't just give her life. He was meant for more than her. And she could see how it was killing him to leave her. Because deep down inside she knew that if Galen was the sun then she was a drug.

" You're wrong. James wants more than I can give him. I can't love him," Lily argued. Galen's lips stretched into a smile that looked painful. She could see blood shadows in his ocean blue eyes. She could see the ghosts of every person he'd seen die and she'd seen die in his eyes. And maybe Lily couldn't afford to be with someone who reminded her of all the bad in the world.

" You're already in love with him Lily. You're just fighting it. And whether that's the right move or not is up to you to make. I love you enough to let you have one less thing holding you back from whatever is doing this to you. For the past few months you haven't been the Rose I used to have a crush on. Maybe you never were and I think both of us needed each other more than we wanted each other. You deserve someone who wants you- no you deserve someone who will make you realize that you aren't damned," Galen mused.

" Why does this feel like it's goodbye forever?" Lily asked in a broken whisper. Pity crossed Galen's face and he leaned down to brush some of her curls back.

" Because you don't need me anymore and I'm going to learn how to not need you. It's not goodbye forever or goodbye for now. Lily we can't know what's going to happen. I just want you to be happy so goodbye," Galen countered.

" But I need you to be happy," Lily fought.

" No you don't. You don't need anything or anyone to be happy," Galen said before letting his lips brush hers gently. He didn't taste like freedom anymore. He tasted like death and a past Lily moved on from ages ago.

Maybe Galen Kingsmill brought up old memories that Lily didn't want but he also made her face her demons instead of running from them and she was grateful for that.

" Don't do anything stupid in France. Alex will hex you for me if you try anything," Lily ordered. Galen nodded and stood up. His hands were crossed over his chest and Lily's eyes flickered to the scar on his neck.

" You never told me the story behind that one," she murmured. Galen's eyes flickered and he shrugged.

" Even if you're going to lose, there are some fights you can't back down from."

Lily didn't know those were the last words she would hear Galen Kingsmill speak. A year later she couldn't help but wonder if things happened for a reason. Maybe Galen was meant to say that to her. And maybe she was meant to get burned over and over again.

She spent a few hours reading one of the books a nurse brought her. Lily wasn't allowed to eat until dinner so when her door opened at ten she didn't even glance up from her book before speaking.

" Thank Merlin you're here," she noted before closing the book and looking up for her first meal in close to three days. The book fell from her hands and she gaped at the person in the doorway. Seeing Galen and Alex was nothing to this. Nothing could compare to this.

The body she once fought not to be attracted to shut the door behind his form and briskly walked over to her bed. Lily's mouth dried and she titled her head up before strong arms grabbed her and pulled her tightly into their owner's chest. She could feel him shake and finally a tear slipped from her eyes.

" Lily, Lily, Lily," James Potter breathed. He said her name over and over again like it was a prayer. She could feel his tears land on her shoulder but never let go of his form.

" James," Lily breathed back. Her voice cracked and twisted around his name like a gnarled tree but she couldn't help finding it beautiful. He let go of her long enough to hold her face in his hands and rub his thumb over her lips.

" I'm so sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen. You and Jason weren't supposed to get hurt," James vowed. Lily's mind froze and she knew what she was supposed to say. She was supposed to tell him that no one should have had to get hurt. She was supposed to spurn him and hate him. But she couldn't hate him. Lily couldn't force herself to hate James Potter anymore. She wasn't strong enough and didn't want to anymore.

" I know, James I know," Lily answered before lifting her hands to run her fingers through his soft hair and meet his gaze firmly. His eyes weren't red. Lily knew she could tell herself to hate him for something. James Potter looked like something of the Renaissance when he cried. Lily let her finger trail over the scar near his jaw before speaking again.

" How did you get in here? They won't let Michael or Jason in."

James shrugged and Lily noticed for the first time that day what he wore. She could see the Potter emblem not only on the ring on his hand but on the robes he wore.

" My mum used to work her. Dad donated enough money to build one of the floors," James explained. Lily hadn't forgotten that any world she could have with James Potter would be one with money. His fingers found her hair and Lily took heavy breaths as James looked over her mangled body.

" I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," James said over and over again. He held her tight enough that Lily finally felt like she didn't have to hold all her broken pieces together. He was doing that just fine.

" I'm sorry Lily. I- I," James croaked. But it broke off as more tears fell onto Lily's shoulders. She wasn't sure if they were hers or his. But Lily wanted to say that everything would be all right. She couldn't make that promise. She couldn't say that she forgave him either. James was the reason that Hogwarts finally lost its sanctuary. She wanted to scream and hate him. But Lily couldn't hate him.

" I know James," Lily said. She titled his head down and forced him to meet her eyes. She wasn't supposed to be the strong one. That was her parent's' job or Dumbledore's or even Jason's. Right now things were different. No one was there and this one time Lily finally realized that she was strong enough to be there for the one person that could make her heart bleed and patch together at the same time.

" It's going to be alright?" James said. But it came out as more of a question. Neither of them was ready to make that promise. Lily nodded and smiled weakly all the same.

" I think so," she answered as she reached down and squeezed his hand. James's fingers were long and cool against her warm skin. Lily leaned into his form and took heavy breaths.

She knew that she wanted him. She wanted him so badly that it broke her into a million pieces to know that Lucian's timing couldn't have been worse. Lily couldn't make James any promises; she didn't know how much longer she had left. All she knew was that she had now. And in that now Lily loved James enough to give him the sun and the moon and the stars. She just didn't know if he loved her enough to let her go.

So with tears clenched back, Lily ripped open her eyes and faced him again. This time he could see the difference in how the shadows covered her jaw and her eyes.

" Gryffindor's going to make dust out of you lot on Saturday," Lily vowed. Cold air hit her as James stumbled back and stared at her with his mouth slightly parted. Lily wrapped her arms around her chest trying to hold all those broken pieces together. But she couldn't do it as well as James could.

" The Quidditch game Potter. Did you really think I'd forget something as tantalizing as an entire three months without your presence?" Lily asked in a sugary sweet tone. James Potter was a master of emotions and he capped his off long enough to throw her a sly smirk and ruffle his hair.

" Hardly love," he started in a husky tone and Lily knew that Potter was back and her James was gone. " I've been planning for two weeks of owning you since the second you made this deal. I plan on winning," James continued.

Lily nodded and squared her jaw before pursing her lips and gesturing towards the door.

" I think you've overstayed your visit," she said loud enough for James to hear. He shrugged and moved to the door not before turning and locking eyes with her for a moment.

" I'm doing everything to keep you from harm's way. I promise you will never be in the crossfire again," James vowed. Lily looked down and he left the room. She didn't want to tell him that was a promise he could keep. She was going to do everything to protect the people she loved. Even him. But James didn't need to know that.

* * *

December 1969

Gastor Manor

(Take Back the Past)

He used to read her bedtime stories when his parents were at work. Lily's small form was scarred permanently into his mind. Long red ringlets fell to her sides as her small pale fingers toyed with the material of her long nightdress. She had big eyes.

Lily's room used to seem alive. Now it was dead. Julius didn't know why his parents did this. He didn't understand why Lily was sent away. He could only imagine how lost and confused she must have felt without him there.

And Lily was gone. She was gone and Julius didn't know what he was fighting for anymore. If he was the sun that everybody watched, then she was the moon that everybody forgot.

Julius didn't know if he could spend the rest of his life living in an eclipse.

December 1975

Pureblood Christmas Ball

Malfoy Manor

How to Smile (When you want to scream)

" I miss mum and dad," Jason said as he looked at the couple everybody in the ball was watching. Julius's eyes were glued to them too. They seemed to glow and shine brighter than even the diamonds in the Malfoy Manor's Grand Chandelier.

He wondered if Lily knew whom she was dancing with. Either way Julius had never seen James Potter smile like that in the past four months. The fifteen year old spent the summer with Julius's family after his parents became ill. At most, Julius tolerated James Potter only because he'd managed to snake his way into Delphina Gastor's heart, a place Julius hadn't been since he first stumbled into the Manor covered in a muggle's blood years ago.

" So do I," Julius answered as he swallowed the last of his firewhiskey. He looked to his left long enough to see Lucian and Eliza Rosier sneaking off. Julius rolled his eyes and nodded to Helena Bulstrode before Jason sighed.

" At least Lily's back," he offered with a hopeful look in his eyes. Julius made a noise of disagreement and swung his arm over Jason's smaller shoulder. He could hear a soft peal of laughter that sounded much too like his dad's. James Potter was seconds away from being hexed unless he decided to remove his hand from Lily's waist.

" That's not our Lily. That's a Lily who had to learn how to sleep at night without one of us," Julius replied. Jason was silent and Julius ruffled his brother's hair with a fake smile.

" Hey life's going to be rough but you can't stop smiling. People look up to us and if you or I falter for one second then the world's going to blow up or something," Julius explained. Jason looked confused but Julius knew that one day he'd get it.

" It's easy. Just pretend that Lily never left. That always makes me smile."

* * *

December 1976

Friday Night

St. Mungos

One Word

" I didn't hear any hexes so I'm guessing she isn't mad at you," Jason noted from his stance. James knew that Jason would be outside in the hallway waiting for him. But it still surprised him to see Jason looking so exhausted. There was something off to him. Not once in his life did Jason Gastor appear haggard but in that moment he was pretty close.

" She's different, that's all I could get. Something off," James answered as he sat next to his friend. Jason looked away from him and his nose twitched slightly. James narrowed his eyes; Jason was hiding something.

" Pericles wants out- he wants to leave the death eaters"

And like that, James was thrown back to the Easter Break of his fourth year. The Marauders were bored one spring afternoon and decided to explore Diagon Alley and the more risky stores in it. After getting kicked out of Knockturn Alley's finest dark object emporium, they'd walked into a store without looking inside.

There was a sole table and woman inside. James remembered seeing her blinded eyes and her mouth dropping slightly as she faced Jason. Dust and cobwebs seemed to coat every surface and the woman seemed old enough to turn into dust. She stood slowly and stumbled over to them before grabbing Jason's hands.

James clearly remembered wondering how she could see if her eyes held the signs of spell blinding. He'd see that curse used on muggles before. But when she spoke, he knew for certain that she was a seer.

" Gold can't last forever," she said in a voice that sounded like broken glass. Jason looked startled but brushed it off when Sirius demanded that they leave and see if they could find any birds in the Robes store. But James knew that there was more to what that seer had said. When he came back to the same area a week later to shop for school supplies, her store was gone. The owner of the dark objects emporium said that she had died, meaning that James could never find out what she meant.

Now he didn't think he needed to know what the woman meant in her statement. It was clear, for the first time, what was happening. A dynasty was dying out. The Gastors were one more mistake away from being kicked out of pureblood royalty, because if anyone found out that the golden family of the holy seven was made up of death eaters then the Gastors were ruined.

" It's suicidal," James answered in a clipped tone. Jason swallowed hard and his hands clenched around the armrests of his seat.

" He proposed and Selena's dad died the next morning when werewolves attacked his hospital in Greece- Pericles helped plan that attack," Jason started. " I love my brother but he's screwed Prongs. He's too good to not tell her the truth and she'll hate him for it. Said he wanted to make things right because he's ruined too many lives- even the love of his life."

" Does Lily know?"

" No and it's going to stay that way. Galen Kingsmill is dead too and Cassius is missing. She needs time and peace not more death. I've written to Selena and told her not to tell Lily," Jason explained.

There was silence for a moment. James wondered what he was doing a year ago. He could remember his life like it was something webbed. Sometimes James wasn't sure if he wanted to brush the cobwebs aside and look into the past.

" Christmas," Jason suddenly said. Looking up, James met his gaze and could see something close to a spark in his friend's eyes. Hectic golden curls tossed about as Jason grinned.

" That's how you're going to get Lily," Jason explained.

* * *

December 1976

Saturday Morning

Hogwarts Castle

Nothing to Hold

Relatives told him what it would feel like. But none of them knew what Marlene would feel like. Sirius felt as though her mind was a waterfall and he was climbing through the downpour to get to the top.

He was born in the night. His dad liked to say that all Blacks knew when they'd fit in with the world; when there was no light to touch their souls. The second his seventeenth year of life began; Sirius felt his mind collide into Marlene's.

"Dammit," a voice exclaimed after the sound of something falling. Sirius's concentration broke and he sat up. His head spun a little but he knew that Marlene probably had it ten times worse.

" Prongs?" he asked in the darkness. Someone turned the lights on and Sirius blinked as he slid out of his bed. He could see Remus by the light switch with a tired expression and Jason on the ground glaring at his trunk. Sirius raised his eyebrow towards Remus when he saw the old photo album that Jason must have tripped on.

" Aren't you supposed to be in Mungos?" he asked before yawning. The Marauders' secret; they mastered the art of never looking tired ages ago. It took a simple spell and good amount of caffeine mixed with the hangover potion that made them arrive at the Great Hall looking like gods.

" Yes he should be," another voice declared from the bathroom doorway. Without turning, Sirius knew that James would be wearing his uniform. If he liked to sneak a good snog in before a game, James liked to get up even earlier than he usually did.

" I'm not an invalid. Besides Lily's playing today and she nearly bit the bloody dust," Jason exclaimed. Sirius winced as James walked past him and stood over Jason. He never expected Jason Gastor to look weak but with James's Quidditch cloak billowing up behind him and the dark look in his eyes, Sirius knew who was finally on top.

" All of you Gastors can't help but be idiots," James answered. Sirius swallowed and James turned towards him with a lopsided grin. He could see something tense in James's eyes. Lily's room in St. Mungos stole James from him the night before, but Sirius had no clue where James had gone off to on Thursday night.

" Happy Birthday Padfoot," James said before wrapping his arms around Sirius and clapping him on the back. The first to turn seventeen, James used to tease Sirius. The first to have to grow up, Remus would note dryly.

" Well it's going to be a good one. We've got a game in a few hours and a party like no other. Not to mention, we'll be back home before tomorrow morning," Jason declared as he stood. Sirius smiled at him and let out a loud laugh before swinging his arms over his brothers' shoulders. He couldn't help but have the strangest feeling that this would be the last birthday where all of them were together.

But he was Sirius Black, master of hiding his emotions. So he brushed the feeling off with a laugh and accepted his friends' presents and brotherhood.

* * *

December 1976

Saturday Morning

Gryffindor Common Room

Tripping into Hell

What was left of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team sat in the common room anxiously waiting Emmeline's verdict. Adam glanced towards Michael, their fill-in captain for Lily and saw that he was staring at the trophy they'd won the year before. A good number of the Gryffindors who'd decided to wait until that night to leave for the holidays were milling about the common room.

They had six of the necessary seven players if Marlene was in. Adam was switched to Chasing for this game, and probably for the rest of the year as Michael was back. He was no Michael Wood and knew it. Adam didn't have something he was all out good at, he was just good enough at everything but not good enough to be scouted like Gideon and Fabian.

" I'm sure she's fine," Alice offered as she stood to see what was taking Emmeline and Marlene so long. Adam watched her short hair bob as she walked up the girls' staircase for the first time in months.

" Puddlemere, Bats, and Arrows are here today," Frank offered as he tied his uniform on. Adam let out a grunt of acknowledgement and leaned into the soft. His uniform felt right in the way a good memory could make someone smile. But he could feel his tendons twisting inside of it; he was growing out of Quidditch and Hogwarts and had no idea what was next.

His happily ever after wasn't Emmeline's, Adam concluded. And like that the bubble burst. Emmeline wanted to fight; she wanted to live. He wanted to keep her safe and let things fall into place. He didn't want to live in a war.

" Breakfast is going to end soon," Gideon said as he walked Fabian out of the common room. Adam knew that it was hard for Fabian; the girl who he gave everything to wasn't his anymore. Marlene wasn't theirs.

He didn't have to feel anything to know she was gone. It was like the stars rearranged all wrong while he was asleep and when he woke the moon was high in the sky and he was breathing water. The world felt so wrong but this game could be so right.

Emmeline appeared at the top of the staircase with a tight expression. Her hair wasn't up today. It was down and she looked as though she was shielding herself from reality with it. Adam wished he could capture how the shadows clung to her sharp jaw and how her sorrow seemed to dance around her fingertips like sprites.

" She's not playing today- says that she can't do that to Sirius," Emmeline said in a tone so bitter and piano-like that Adam felt like her fingers were pounding into his heart.

" It's okay," Michael reassured. He stood and looked like a leader. Sometimes people were born for roles. Marlene was born to be a tragedy and Michael was born to be an anchor for the world. And Adam, well he was born and that seemed to be it.

" We'll be fine. Teams have played down a player before," he assured as they walked down to the Great Hall. Frank seemed to not agree and his tongue rolled out of his mouth in concentration as he tried to perform a nonverbal spell on his worn shoes so the laces wouldn't come out.

" We've stuck through this year good enough. One game against Slytherin won't bring us down," Michael continued. But this time it seemed as though he was only reassuring himself. Adam knew better. Without Marlene, he and Frank were dust to Potter and Gastor.

The Great Hall was loud. Adam frowned; there weren't enough people for it to be that loud. Remembering that it was Sirius Black's birthday, he entered the room with a locked jaw and stared straight ahead, only to meet a sight stranger than any he'd seen before.

" Lily?" Michael asked in an incredulous tone. the girl sitting actually on the Gryffindor table looked up and Adam could see fading cuts and bruises staining the skin that was visible from beneath her uniform.

" I'm accepting that I'm actually a very dramatic person," Lily answered before slipping off the table with a fluid motion. Adam watched her and wondered if she was ghost. No one should be able to heal that quickly but Lily hadn't. He could see that her arm was bandaged beneath the uniform and guards. He could see night shading under her eyes and her skin as pale as the moon.

" We need to win this game," Lily said as she approached the five Gryffindors. Fabian and Gideon had joined him, Frank, and Michael. There was something like fire in her eyes and Adam watched as Michael faded aside and Lily outshined every person watching them in the hall.

" We've gotten what's called a deus ex machina situation," she said. " I'm playing today and none of you are to ask why. I'm not insane or crazy, I've got perfectly good reasons for not wanting but needing to win this game. Now where's Marlene?" Lily demanded.

" She's not playing," Frank said with a slightly awed expression. Lily was covered in cobwebs and shadows and she was bouncing across the future teasing death.

" We'll see about that. Eat and try not to break a leg on the way to the pitch. We've got a game to win," Lily declared. Watching her leave the hall, Adam knew what Lily was meant to be in that single second. If Frank was going to be a hero and Michael was an anchor then Lily was on the path to becoming a legend.

Adam didn't want to be a legend because legends carried more tragedies than people meant to be tragedies. They danced with death and he'd step all over death's feet and trip into hell.

* * *

December 1976

Midmorning Friday

Quidditch Pitch

Unraveling Souls

" Just win this game," James said as the Slytherin team stood around him. Clenching his fingers around his broom he looked up and turned from them. " Win this game for me- I need this."

Jason watched his friend and knew that he could be in James's position. He could have it all. But he didn't want it all. Sometimes it takes losing everything to figure out what you want and Jason Gastor was close enough to feel whatever he wanted under his fingernails. And he was ripping clouds apart to find it.

" Welcome to the second Slytherin-Gryffindor game of the season! We've got weather good enough for a game and Professor McGonagall's going to hex me if I keep talking about the weather. So without further ado, our Slytherin team. Let's hear it for our beaters, Vincent Crabbe and the birthday boy himself, Sirius Black," Remus declared. James smirked as the pitch let out a furious sound of cheering. If there was one thing that could lift people's moods it was Quidditch.

" Next we've got Steven Flint keeping and the seeker, Regulus Black. Ending are the three chasers, Anton Dolohov, Jason Gastor, and Slytherin's captain James Potter," Remus's voice booms.

Flying was second nature to Jason. Growing up in his family meant that Quidditch was as normal as breathing. He knew that his parents wanted him to follow Julius's footsteps and go into it. But Jason had his heart set on something else even back then.

He followed his team in a loop around the pitch and smiled at the reactions of all houses. For this brief game, the war outside seemed to dim. Landing, Jason stood to Sirius's right and directly behind Flint.

" Now for Gryffindor. Fabian and Gideon Prewitt; if rumors hold true they're the reason those scouts from the league are here," Remus declared. Jason never understood Remus's knack for commentating. His jaded guarded best friend shouldn't have been so charismatic about something like Quidditch.

" Keeping we have Michael Wood and seeking is Gryffindor's captain Lily Evans. Ending it are the three chasers, Adam McKinnon, Frank Longbottom, and Marlene McKinnon," Remus shouts.

Jason glances towards Sirius and sees that Sirius's expression is dark as he watches Marlene take a shaky lap around the pitch. She lands next to Fabian Prewitt and looks pale. Jason watches her wince when Fabian tries to speak to her. He glared at the back of Sirius's head as Madame Hooch ordered the captains to the circle.

From the solid steps both Lily and James take, Jason had a feeling that this game wouldn't end quickly.

* * *

December

Friday Morning

Quidditch Pitch: Slytherin vs. Gryffindor

All or Nothing

James's grip was tight on her skin as they shook hands. He leaned in and met Lily's gaze with a low smile. Shadows broke out in crossing lines across his jaw and cheekbones as he spoke.

" Ready to lose?" he asked. Lily squeezed his hand tightly and his eyes flickered as she laughed.

" Not today," Lily answered. She wanted to pause that moment forever and never leave. It felt like the last bit of childhood she was clinging onto. Lily knew that when she got on her broom in a few seconds, she would be flying from something. She just didn't know what it was.

James broke his grip on her hand and Lily watched as the snitch, bludgers, and quaffle were released. Her eyes were glued to the snitch and there was silence. There was enough silence for Lily to hear her heart pound and pound over and over again.

The shrill sound of the whistle broke her thoughts and she propelled into the sky. _The dice have been rolled…_

Julius remembered his last moments like a Quidditch game. Maybe in a another world he could have played Quidditch for his heart and soul not for an image. But that didn't stop him from loving to fly.

Julius Gastor was a chaser but in his last moments of life he wasn't a chaser; he was the snitch. Death was the seeker and its hand snarled around his body. Death was the seeker and it caught him. But not because it tricked him, Julius died because he stopped flying. He gave up.

He gave up because it felt so right in that moment. In that moment when fire rose around a broken town, Julius was too tired to run. He was tired of being a snitch in good and evil's game of Quidditch. Julius was tired of letting fate choose who was going to catch him.

He chose to let death catch him. And for Julius's entire life he always thought that death was on evil's side. When he died, Julius Gastor did not know if death was good or evil's seeker. As the last breath escaped his lungs, Julius felt as though death wasn't on either teams. Maybe death was the seeker and he spent his life avoiding the chase because he thought he was a chaser. But in that moment, that very last moment, Julius chose to be a seeker and that made all the difference. He just didn't know if he was the snitch or the seeker.

Julius was sure of one thing; he was Quidditch.

" Look out!" James watched as Longbottom was hit by Sirius's bludger and dropped the quaffle. He grabbed the falling ball and darted for the Gryffindor hoops. Wood flew too late and James pumped his hand in the air as the quaffle soared through the middle hoop.

" 50-10 in favor of Slytherin. Looks like Gryffindor's peaked too early in the season," Remus called from the stands. Adam McKinnon caught the quaffle but dropped it when Dolohov shoved him into the stands and Jason caught it from under them.

James followed Jason's figure and avoided one of the bludgers Gideon Prewitt sent his way. He was more than thankful that the Prewitt twins would be out of school by the following year.

" Marlene," Gideon exclaimed as his bludger hit her. James heard a crack and winced as Marlene's figure slammed into the stands. She let out a shrill scream and nearly fell off her broom. Before James could even move, Lily had flown over and grabbed Marlene's hand. There was a sickening pop and James instinctively leaned forward and edged his broom towards them as Lily's broom struggled to hold both of their weights.

" Gastor!" someone shouted. James's eyes were trained on Lily and he heard another snapping sound before turning hectically and seeing that Jason was hit but a bludger from Gideon Prewitt.

" Time!" Madame Hooch called right as Adam McKinnon caught Marlene from Lily's grip.

James's breaths came out heavily as he flew to the ground and wiped the sweat from his face; he wasn't so sure this bet was going to be worth it anymore.

" They're taking Marlene out," James said as he entered the tent. There was a glint in his eyes and his eyes met Sirius's. Sirius averted his gaze and looked down at his broom. Two hours into the game, and Marlene got hit five times and nearly fell off her broom six times.

" Are they postponing the game?" Flint asked. " The wind and snow is supposed to get bad around noon."

" We're wizards and Slytherins. I think I'd be pretty ashamed to call forfeit because of a little rain. Besides Evans doesn't plan on forfeiting even if there's a bloody tornado," James announced.

Sirius didn't miss the touch of grudging admiration for Evans in James's tone. His fingers clenched tightly around the handle of his broom and he looked up to see his brother staring at James with respect. He could snap his broom in that moment.

" Let's go then," Jason called as he stood. Two leaders side by side, Sirius was dreading the day when Jason finally decided to take James's power.

" Sirius stay back a moment," James called. Stormy grey eyes met James and Sirius nodded before standing. When the team was gone, James whirled around towards him.

" Lily and I made a bet and I cannot afford to lose it Padfoot. That means you can't make another mistake like that one," James ordered.

" Give me a break, I'm new to this two minds in one head thing," Sirius grumbled.

" Didn't anyone explain it to you? There's a reason you can't let Marlene have her privacy; it takes too much energy out of you. She would do the same thing if she was in your position," James responded. Sirius shuffled and met James's stare with a reluctant one.

" She doesn't want this, it's the least I can do for her," Sirius explained. James laughed and coldly smiled. Sirius frowned at him; something was off. This wasn't Prongs; this was James Potter the hardened warrior.

" Nice won't cut it with McKinnon. She'll hate you until she realizes that you're in the same position she's in," James appealed. Sirius finally met his eyes and clenched his jaw.

" Fine. I'll do this for you. But you owe me a bloody explanation when we're celebrating crushing Gryffindor," Sirius finally offered.

He knew in his gut this was wrong. Everything about this was wrong. But James needed him and James was his brother. They were marauders.

Sirius let go and felt Marlene once again in his head. But this time he wasn't fighting not to notice her emotions or thoughts. His face drained of color and Sirius knew exactly what he had to do now.

" Slytherin still in the lead. 120-100. I think I see one of the Prewitts hitting a bludger towards Flint," Lupin's voice announced. Adam narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. Frank had gotten a goal only minutes ago but with the snow and wind, he could hardly see Slytherin's silver and green robes.

" Why in Merlin's name did we choose red robes?" Fabian demanded as he appeared next to him. Adam grinned and ducked as a bludger flew near them.

" It's better than living in the dungeons," he offered as Fabian hit the bludger. Fabian laughed and sat up.

" McGonagall said Puddlemere's rep was fighting with the Bats' rep. Apparently they like me and Gid," Fabian noted.

" That's great, just make sure to get me and Em some tickets," Adam answered as he saw the quaffle. He leaned forward and flew towards it. His finger locked around the ball and he flew towards the Slytherin goals.

" Dammit," he muttered as Dolohov appeared to his right. Adam caught his loud grin and ducked a bludger as he swung the quaffle towards the goals.

" McKinnon scores, leaving the game pretty even. It's up to the seekers at this point as I've been out here for nearly three hours," Remus called. The snow slowed as Adam moved towards the middle of the pitch and saw Emmeline cheering in his jersey. He smiled at her before speeding off towards Gastor.

" Fuck Fuck Fuck," Wood muttered under his breath. Jason smirked as he scored another goal. Wood's gear seemed to have undone and was starting to roll off his leg but James and Jason kept rebounding goals.

" Slytherin gets another goal with the score at 190-120," Remus's voice called. Jason ducked as a bludger came his way and looked towards the sky. He could see Lily and Regulus circling the pitch. Lily swerved low and Regulus followed her.

" Evans spots the snitch and Black's on her tail," Remus calls. Jason caught the quaffle from James and threw it to Dolohov who got a goal while Michael was attempting to tie his gear back on. Jason frowned when he saw Sirius pocketing his wand nearby, no Sirius wouldn't go that low…

He watched as Lily darted around the Hufflepuff stands and emerged from under them with red cheeks. Her eyes scanned the pitch and Jason leaned forward as her green ones met her golds ones. She quickly looked away and flew back towards the sky.

" Evans leaves her search for the snitch and Black follows," Remus continues in a tired tone. Jason can see McGonagall next to him with a slightly bored look.

Before either can continue, he hears a slamming thud and looks over his shoulder. Jason winces as a bludger leaves Frank Longbottom's gut and rebounds towards Fabian Prewitt.

" Longbottom's hit!" Remus calls. Jason frowns and catches James's eye when he notices the gleam in Sirius's eyes. Suddenly Longbottom leans forward and coughs up blood.

" Did Padfoot hex that bludger?" he asked James. James's eyes widened and he looked towards where Adam McKinnon and Madame Hooch were helping Frank to the ground.

" What the hell was that?" a voice demanded from behind him. Jason turned and saw Lily on her broom with an enraged expression on her face. James turned and shot her a smirk. He ignored Jason's warning expression and ruffled his hair.

" You never said the game had to be clean," James taunted. Lily's nose wrinkled and she scoffed.

" Screw you," Lily spat before darting around as Madame Hooch blew her whistle. Jason watched her figure dart across the top of the pitch and knew that she wouldn't stop until that snitch was locked between her fingers.

" We're down two people and Potter is playing dirty," Lily muttered to Michael as she adjusted her gear. The snow hadn't stopped and she wasn't doing anything but distracting Regulus with feints and he realized what she was doing about an hour ago.

" We're Gryffindors and they're Slytherins, what else would you expect?" he asked before scanning the blurry pitch for an incoming chaser.

Lily bit her tongue; she thought Potter wouldn't sink this low. She really thought she could trust him to want this fairly. His words flickered in her mind. Lily felt her heart pang when she remembered him telling her that he loved her. But he was Slytherin and she couldn't make him Gryffindor no matter how hard she tried.

" Chin up Evans, we've got a game to win," Michael declared with a roguish grin.

" We're down two chasers," Lily grumbled. Michael's lips remained up as he flew across the hoops and caught a quaffle. He tossed it towards Adam and turned to her.

" We're down a hundred points, go and get that snitch," he ordered. Lily knew who to appoint captain when she left. Michael Wood wasn't born to lead a battlefield, but he was born to lead a Quidditch pitch.

Julius met Dumbledore's gaze and felt guilt hot in his cheeks. It was just like when he was thirteen and caught for a prank or telling off a teacher.

" Professor," he said evenly before pulling his gloves off. He knew that Dumbledore was apart of the Order, he could remember that clearly.

" No needs for formalities Mr. Gastor. You're no longer my student," Dumbledore said with a soft expression on his face. Julius cleared his throat and looked to the ground where his mask was. Dumbledore's eyes followed his and Dumbledore spoke.

" I presume this is why you turned down my offer your seventh year," Dumbledore noted. Julius looked up and shrugged.

" I want the war to end, that's all," Julius answered coldly. Dumbledore's hands curled around his back and he walked from his side of the room over to the portrait of Julius's family in the center.

" Because you think that your parents will bring your sister home then," Dumbledore said with no question of it at all. Julius clenched his jaw and frowned.

" She's growing up without a family- they sent her to France. I thought they were keeping her away from the war but the war is in France, it's been there for years. They just don't want her here," Julius explained.

" It's not about your parents wanting anything," Dumbledore started. His eyes were fastened to the portrait as he spoke. " It's about what's best for her."

" How is this the best thing for her? She's suffering I know it," Julius declared.

" Do you really? What if she likes her life as it is? Would you take that from her just for yourself?" Dumbledore asked. Julius mulled this over; he lost so much and Lily was gold.

" She's not happy," Julius snapped. Dumbledore turned around and met his eyes with a sad look in his own.

" It's not too late Julius. You're on the way to a dark world. It's not too late to fight for what's right," Dumbledore offered.

" Are you really so desperate for recruits for your little organization that you came to me?" Julius sneered.

" I'm not desperate, I'm hopeful. You've always seen right from wrong and I need someone on the inside. Do you enjoy the massacres? Do you enjoy the blood- the innocent blood being shed?" Dumbledore demanded.

" The Dark Lord wants Pericles to join- I have to fight so they don't," Julius revealed.

" Your family isn't the type to stay neutral. I think your brothers need a choice and you are not giving them one. I believe they could make the right one but with you and your father's support of the Purists it will be hard for them to join me," Dumbledore continued.

" I don't want to be death eater or members of your Order!" Julius exclaimed. " I want them never to fight."

" That won't happen. You chose a side and they will too, including Lily," Dumbledore finished.

" Leave her out of this." Julius looked to the entrance hall and back to Dumbledore.

" My mother may tolerate your company but I can't. You're asking children to fight. The Dark Lord forces children to fight. I think your side is so much worse," Julius declared.

" I've lived in two wars and there will always be losses. You may not approve of my methods but I think you'd approve of my cause. It's never too late Julius," Dumbledore replied.

Julius stared at him and scoffed; he would never need to take his old headmaster's offer that is until he did.

Two years late he stood across from Albus Dumbledore and pledged his loyalty to the Order of the Phoenix. Lily was going to fight and he knew that from the second she saw his Dark Mark. Julius had his sun for the first time in six years of darkness and it was showing him that maybe it was never too late to make the right choice.

" It's four hours into the game and the snitch has been spotted the same number of times that Professor Slughorn has invited Belby to his little gatherings, which means none," Remus drawled.

James heard a thump. " Due to a frequency of rather crude remarks within the past hour I will be stepping in for Mr. Lupin," Professor McGonagall declared." The score remains at 230- 140 in favor of Slytherin."

James watched as Dolohov passed the quaffle to Jason and he scored a goal. He glanced to his left and watched as the quaffle whirled near him and dipped low. James leaned forward and caught it. Sometimes the chase is what makes the capture worth it.

Sirius wasn't paying attention to the game when he struck his bat out and hit the bludger. He was wrapped tightly in Marlene's thoughts and couldn't understand any of it.

But he did hear his bludger hit someone.

Gideon Prewitt's mistake was deciding to use his non-dominant hand to point to the snitch. According to people who were witnesses, Gideon Prewitt was using his bat to point to the snitch. According to witnesses he accidently hit the bludger into his dominant hand and the impact sent his body flying into the Ravenclaw stands and he fell from them down to the ground, landing on his left hand.

Sirius Black ended what could have been one of the greatest beating careers for Puddlemere United. And all because Marlene was thinking about how her brother wasn't actually their father's child. And because of that, Gideon Prewitt would finally break.

In order to be whole, people need to break. Broken pieces can make something completely different from the original object.

" Gid's out," Adam muttered to Michael. His brown eyes narrowed and Michael wiped the sweat off his forehead as he met Adam's blue eyes.

" I saw but Lily didn't. We're screwed aren't we?" Michael laughed shakily.

" It's just a Quidditch game," Adam shrugged. Michael nodded but glanced towards the representatives from the teams.

" Maybe for us, but not Gid. There's no way any team is going to recruit him now," Michael blurted. Adam winced and saw that Fabian wasn't doing so well either; he wanted to be with Marlene just like Fabian probably wanted to be with Gideon.

" He could apply late application to the auror office," Adam offered. Michael looked uncomfortable but continued.

" He's wanted to be a Quidditch player all his life," Michael answered.

" So did you, but we're living in a way it's time to be practical," Adam quipped.

" Coming from the man whose running away from his entire life," Michael muttered under his breath. Adam narrowed his eyes and grabbed Michael's shoulder.

" I'm being practical. We're not going to be safe anymore Wood. All of us, even Emmeline and Alice are going to have to declare which side of the war we're taking. Do you think I would endanger Em by saying I'm in the bloody Order? I'm not going to kill her. You've got no one to worry about, but the rest of us have people," Adam scoffed.

" I have Lily," Michael protested. Adam let go of his shoulder and gave Michael a pitying look.

" She told me you know, so I'm assuming you also know that you-know-who's bloody apprentice is betrothed to her," Adam noted. Michael's jaw dropped and he clenched his fists tightly around his broom.

" She doesn't want it," he argued.

" Em didn't want this at first. Coming from a first hand source, it's hard to fight," Adam explained.

" Lily's a fighter," Michael choked.

" Are you saying Em isn't?" Adam asked. Michael glared at him and ducked to block a quaffle coming in from Potter. Adam swallowed as Michael tossed it back to him and gestured to the other side of the pitch.

" Emma's reason to fight died, Lily's got me and she knows I'll be here for her. Now go get some points. We may not win this game but we can still rack up some points to put us over Ravenclaw," Michael ordered.

Adam dropped the quaffle and caught Michael by the robes. " You make it sound as though I'm trapping her." Michael shrugged and smirked.

" All I know is that she actually wanted to die rather than marry you," Michael said. Adam let go of him long enough to gather himself and turn away. This was stupid; Michael was his friend.

" Running McKinnon? I guess that's all you know how to do," Michael taunted. Adam clenched his fists around his broom. " Are you really running from the war or are you running from your dad?" Michael demanded.

Adam didn't remember the next minute but he did remember seeing Michael with a bloody eye and Sirius Black and Fabian pulling him off of Michael. He did feel blood in his mouth and spat his chipped tooth into his palm.

" Bastard!" he shouted. Michael smirked as Dolohov and Gastor pulled him back.

" A little hypocritical McKinnon, if that's even your true name," Michael taunted. Adam looked towards the stands and felt hate to Emmeline for the first time in years; there was only one person who could have shared this secret with Michael. It was the sole secret about his childhood that he shared with Emmeline and now he didn't plan on sharing anymore.

" Are you mad?" Jason demanded as he let go of Wood. Wood wiped the blood from his face and shook his head.

" I'm not insane, Adam's had that one coming to him for years," Wood said with a biting tone. Jason wiped Michael's blood off his hand and scanned the area for the quaffle.

" McGonagall had quite the piece to say if you heard, you and McKinnon just got ten detentions and lost Gryffindor too many points- more than you lot can afford to lose," Jason listed.

" Hey Gastor," Wood said. Jason looked up and met his brown eyes. One was swirled with red blood that looked more like mud.

" Yeah?" Jason asked.

" Shut up."

It took her five hours to actually spot the snitch. Lily yawned and rubbed her eyes as she looked down to the pitch for the first time in what seemed like a century. She frowned at the lack of people she could visibly see.

Suddenly she felt something in her hair and grimaced. Just like in History of Magic, the snitch had found it's way into her hair. Only this time it wasn't Potter's. Lily groaned as it struggled and tore at her red locks.

She flew towards the Pitch and Regulus Black followed her. " Evans has seen the snitch," Professor McGonagall called. Lily bit her lip and cursed the struggling snitch in her hair. Regulus stopped following her in confusion and Lily looked towards Madame Hooch with tears coming from the snitch literally ripping at her hair.

" The snitch is in my hair," she called towards Madame Hooch as most of the players saw it and landed around her. Madame Hooch blew her whistle and before Lily could move a body slammed into hers. She felt a hand in her hair and looked up to see Potter holding the snitch that was tangled into her hair.

" What are you doing?" she demanded. Before she could speak Potter grabbed Regulus Black's hand and wrapped it around his own.

" Slytherin's got it! Madame Hooch, Evans never actually caught the snitch, it caught her!" Potter exclaimed. Madame Hooch landed near them and Professor McGonagall reported the situation across the pitch.

She looked at Lily with anxious eyes. " Technically Mr. Potter is right," she said in a tone loud enough for the players to hear. " Slytherin wins, 450- 170," she calls with the assistance of a sonorous charm.

Lily's mind dulled and her grin fell off her face as Slytherin cheered and Potter pulled Regulus Black's hand out of her hair and helped Madame Hooch pry the snitch out of her hair. Lily could feel him grinning victoriously at her and when Madame Hooch left him to talk to Professor McGonagall and the crowd of students coming down to the pitch, Potter leaned towards her and his lips barely skinned her ear.

" I win Lily. You'll be spending the train ride with me then," Potter whispered. Lily blinked and the world seemed too bright around her. Defeat was fresh on her face and Potter tugged her hair at this.

" Don't worry, you lot barely stood a chance, might I advise a little team bonding. If you were arguing with each other then you might've won," he taunted. Lily swallowed and saw her team greeting the Gryffindors and the Slytherin team victoriously being carried back to the castle. The only person watching her is Potter; she lost the game for Gryffindor all because she didn't think to grab her own bloody hair.

" Go then," Lily started. James's expression pauses and she brushed her hair out of her face. She should have caught her hairband when it flew from her hands. She was a disgrace to seekers.

" Go and enjoy your party and I'll fulfill the terms of our bet. I have to go to the Prefect's meeting so give Remus the cloak and he'll sneak me into the Marauder's cabin," Lily sighed.

" Chin up Lils, we've got a great holiday ahead of us. I'm planning on using this to my full advantage," James declared before turning and greeting his waiting crowd.

The pitch was buzzing as the crowds left and four people remained. Lily ignored her team as she walked straight to the Locker rooms. She needed a few moments to herself, especially after the past few days.

" Don't fall in love," she mumbled under her breath as she walked away from the game. " Don't fall in love with James."

But Lily knew deep down inside that she was already in love with him.

* * *

May 1976

The 31st

Death Eater Massacre

The End

Dying did not hurt; it was enlightening.

* * *

January 1977

Saturday, two weeks later

Hogsmeade Station

Confingo

" Where is she?" James demanded. He met Jason's gaze across the platform with heavy breaths. Lily wasn't here. According to Wood, the Gryffindors had not seen her during the entire train ride. Jason promised him that Wood and McKinnon had gotten her onto the train during the surprise Death Eater attack on Platform 9 and ¾.

" Where is Lily?" he shouted as he shoved Jason's body into the train. His friend's eyes widened as he pulled out his wand and held it to his throat. Lily's sweet voice resounded in his head and he could hear her finally saying that she loved him. But something was off. Jason and her acting so strangely over the holidays finally added up and James knew the answer before Jason said it.

" I promised her," Jason choked. James didn't let go of him and he knew there was a crowd behind them. He could feel Sirius watching them and heard Remus tell Frank Longbottom to go and get Hagrid.

" What did you promise her?" James asked between clenched teeth. He was so stupid to trust Jason. Lily wasn't here and if she wasn't at Hogwarts then she wasn't with him.

" That I would help her leave," Jason finally revealed. James's eyes filled with tears and he felt one fall down his face as his fist met Jason's face.

" We were brothers Wormtail," James yelled. Jason winced at the name and James continued. " I love her; I promised her I would keep her safe!"

" Prongs I tried helping you. I told you how to get her to stay," Jason protested.

" You don't get to call me that anymore; you are not my brother. You didn't choose her over me, you chose yourself because you couldn't let me have a happily ever after because you are never going to have one," James hissed as he dropped his wand to punch Jason again. He wasn't even fighting back.

" She said she loves me," he grunted. Pain filled him whole and he couldn't breathe. James stumbled back and felt rain fall onto his face. The crowd shifted and he knew that the new Headmaster was here.

" James I'm sorry, but she had to leave, it wasn't safe," Jason pleaded.

" How do you know that? All Lily ever does is keep secrets, did she tell you why she wasn't safe?" James demanded regaining his anger.

" No but I trust her," Jason argued. James laughed coldly and something empty and cold and horrible consumed him whole. He fell onto his knees and felt the cold platform rip his pants.

" She said she loves me. She loves me. Lily loves me," he mumbled. His fingers reached up and he pulled the locket she gave him off his neck.

" We're done Gastor. I'm done with you," James spat. He faced the crowd and his fist tightened around the locket from Lily. His heart was pounding and he could feel the anesthesia wearing off. Hours ago, when Lily chose to run away from him, she dropped his heart and destroyed it. Only now could James feel it.

He could feel Professor McGonagall and Hagrid watching him. There was something close to sympathy in Professor McGonagall's eyes as she waited.

James felt something wet and salty on his laps and reached up. His fingers were wet. He was crying. He hadn't cried since his dad died. But somehow this felt so much worse.

" She said she loves me," he whispered. His mind felt as though it was ripped apart and there was something that kept ripping and tearing him down and to pieces. Wind brushed by him and James saw students duck.

" Mr. Potter that's enough!" Professor McGonagall declared. James looked up and saw that he accidentally shattered the lamps around them with wandless magic. He hadn't done accidental magic in years.

" She said she loves me," James mumbled. He could hear Professor McGonagall coming towards him. The same woman his mother graduated with. The same woman who cried in his mother's arms when she left her muggle fiancée at the alter. The same person his parents appointed as his godmother when the Gastors died, his parents on their deathbeds were thinking about him.

"I love her," James breathed. It hit him harder than Jason's betrayal. Professor McGonagall's hand found his shoulder and she squeezed it.

" She doesn't love me does she?" he asked in a quiet tone. he looked up and met Professor McGonagall's eyes. She looked lost and James felt like he was the adult in that moment.

" Lily doesn't love me- she lied. She lied to me to get my trust and then she used it to dig her own grave. She's a liar, all she's done is lie," James realized. He stood and looked towards the castle. It was his home really and he thought that no one but Lily could understand that. She took his trust and made him into her own personal puppet. She did what he did to so many people, an uncountable amount really.

" She broke my heart," he laughed. Lily, his beautiful tragic Lily, was the one person he let in. And she was the one person who didn't fall in love with him. James hated how that only made his heart hurt even more.

" You put me back together and let me fall," he sighed. Everything faded in that moment and he could see Lily standing across from him. Her lips pulled up in one of her sad smiles and she turned.

" It's for the best," she said before running. James didn't chase her. He was done chasing. After a lifetime of chasing, he finally found what he was looking for. Only now he wasn't laughing at fate. It was laughing at him.

Because with Lily, James wasn't a chaser he was a seeker and just when his finger found their way around her, a bludger hit him and he let go of her.

It hurts so much but James wasn't going to run from the pain. He fell into it and let it drown him. He was drowning and Lily was flying.

" I can't breathe," he gasped. He clutched his heart and shut his eyes. He'd accidently lit the locket on fire and all that was left were ashes.

_End of Part Two_

* * *

**Thank you readers and reviews and my amazing beta. Without all of you constantly pushing me to write this last chapter I don't know if I would have been able to finish Part Two. **

**I'd like to thank the reviewer Chelsea for your nonstop reviews. Sometimes it takes the readers to get the best out of the writer and I am more than certain that the reviewers and readers were the people that made me finish this Chapter. Along with the emails from my beta of course. **

**I hope this chapter might make up for the long gap I've left. I'm not blaming on school but the impossible task I took up in exploring the worlds of characters like Adam McKinnon and Julius Gastor. Opening my horizons left me truly delighted with the outcome even when it took a bit too much time. Luckily, there will not be six perspective for part three. **

**Regarding Part Three, I do intend to make it much shorter than Parts One and Two. It will contain a switch in narrators. From what I've written so far, there will be at least four narrators. I'd like to make it an odd number so hopefully I'll treat readers to a guest narrator for each chapter. But I think it's up to Confingo to lead its own course. **

**I will say one thing about Part Three, Happily Ever Afters aren't always the real ending. **

**Until next time, which I'm crossing my fingers to be quite soon,**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	20. To Wear a Cloak

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the fabulous JK Rowling**

* * *

Part Three- Ashes

_We never know what will rise from the ashes_

* * *

**Chapter 20 To Wear a Cloak**

**(Set my Heart on Fire)**

* * *

January felt horribly cold without Adam's cloak, Emmeline concluded. Her own was lined with a fresh Heating Charm yet could not do the same justice that Adam's had done. She knew he was waiting for her to give in and take it back, but that would mean taking him back and Emmeline wasn't sure if she could.

Alice and her used to scoff at girls who allowed petty boys to break their hearts. Emmeline never thought she'd be one of them, once let alone twice.

The light above her head flickered slightly as she slid down the wall of the empty corridor. Although the East Wing had been rebuilt after the attack, most classes were moved out of it. Professor McGonagall and the new Headmaster thought that it would put most of the student population in bad spirits to have classes in the same walls where people died. Emmeline thought it was awful that they still used the Great Hall then.

Despite the thorough efforts to clean the rubble, Emmeline still found dust and debris on some of the dank corridors. She brushed some away from her shoes and loosened her tie.

The Vances did not fear anything, they were dragon slaying witches and wizards. But Emmeline felt so scared and alone. Maybe it was because the Vances always had each other to make sure they were brave, and she had no one.

" You really shouldn't be down here alone," a voice noted from the front of the hall. Emmeline looked up and narrowed her eyes at the tall figure standing under the arch of the ceiling.

" Are you so desperate you'll actually talk to Gryffindor's Ice Bitch?" she spat. Jason Gastor stepped out of the shadows and it took everything in Emmeline's gut not to pity him. His robes hung off his shoulders and body horridly. Dark shadows played under his eyes and his cheekbones looked sharp enough to cut glass. His hair was wild and messy to a not so handsome extreme and there was something off about the glaze to his eyes.

" Not desperate Vance, just different. Let's just say that sleeping in a new bed every night has changed my perspective on things," Jason said gruffly.

" I don't need to know about your sex life," Emmeline hissed. Jason smirked and there was a brief semblance to how he looked when he wasn't blacklisted.

" I bet shagging you wouldn't be so bad. I mean McKinnon stopped sleeping around after you opened your legs. After all you two have the record for being caught in broom closets. Padfoot was trying to break it," Jason mused. His tone changed from prideful to wistful and Emmeline wanted to slap some sense into Jason.

" This isn't anything more than business," Emmeline said as she pulled a letter out of her cloak. She cursed Lily for this. Giving half the code to her letters to Emmeline and the other half to Jason was pure evil.

" Right then, let's get to work and make sure Lily hasn't gone and become a circus member or anything," he answered as he opened a piece of parchment and sat across from Emmeline.

" Dear Jason," he started. Emmeline still didn't know who Lily was pretending to be. But Jason didn't seem terribly pleased with it, as he had never shown Emmeline his letters. Then again she refused to show him Lily's perfect handwriting warped into Rick's.

" I'm leaving France soon. The next part is a little confusing," he informed Emmeline. " Ran into Abilene Lestrange and she's got a secret that's going to ruin one of my friend's lives. She did help me out with some other stuff before trying to slip something into my drink at a club. Let's just say that has something to do with why I'm leaving," Jason read.

Emmeline traced her index finger in the dust and looked up when Jason finished. His gold eyes looked strained and she hated just as much as him that Lily was being so secretive.

" Dear Emma," Emmeline started. Her voice cracked and she coughed before continuing. " If you and Jason are working together as I hoped then you found out about my encounter with A. Lestrange. I'd advised a look into her if I were you. She's been keeping a secret- one that Michael needs to know about. But I made an unbreakable vow not to tell anyone. He deserves to know the truth about her," Emmeline read.

Jason was frowning and Emmeline tucked the letter back into her cloak before meeting his eyes. He looked out the window and rubbed his gloveless hands together. Her eyes fell to her own hands. The crescent shaped scars were gone but dust and ink stained them. Her nails were coated in a peeling layer of grey nail polish that would make Mrs. McKinnon faint in shock.

" She said she'd be back before James turns seventeen," he started. Emmeline frowned at this; Lily told her that there was a low chance she'd ever come back.

" She'll go to Greece next," Emmeline noted. Jason looked over with a maddening stare and she cleared her throat. " She's retracing her steps; France for a month so Greece for two. Maybe she's trying to finish up what's left in her past," Emmeline offered.

" If Lily's anything, it's unpredictable. She could be in Australia for all we know," Jason answered in a dissatisfied tone. Emmeline stood and brushed off her cloak. She wasn't Jason Gastor's therapist. She lost enough helping Lily, and she wasn't going to lose the last of her dignity by comforting a death eater.

" You said you promised her you wouldn't chase after her. Well you're breaking it Gastor. I don't care much for what you do with your time but I doubt Lily would be proud of you," Emmeline accused.

Jason's composure fell slightly and an ugly scowl rested on his face. He moved towards her and Emmeline stumbled back into the wall but held her face up defiantly to meet his eyes.

" If she's dead then I'm to blame. Cassius is missing Vance. I lost everybody I love in a little more than a year. I'll be damned to let Lily kill herself for some fucked up cause," Jason spat. His hand found its way to her shoulder and Emmeline swallowed before speaking.

" You're not the only victim here. Don't think for a second we're partners. I'm doing this because Lily is my friend, not because she's your sister," Emmeline retorted. She shoved Jason's form aside and walked out of the hall. She felt her stomach ache when she realized how it was too easy to make him let go of her.

Jason never came to dinner at the Great Hall. Emmeline made that blunt and rather upsetting observation the first week they'd returned from the holidays. She also noticed that the Slytherin table turned into a rather crude scene.

Professor McGonagall and the new Headmaster made no efforts to stop James Potter's past seventeen days of inappropriate behavior. Emmeline supposed the scene he made at Hogsmeade was enough to scare even the new stern Headmaster.

She caught Marlene's eye as she walked between the Ravenclaw and Slytherin table. Marlene was draped over Sirius Black and Emmeline knew that Adam and Fabian were probably watching her with tight expressions.

Their group was strewn across the hall in a distressful manner. Marlene seemed to fill in Jason's old seat, even with the hordes of students crowding around the Marauder's area. Gideon found sanctuary at the Hufflepuff table with Amos Diggory and Jemina Michelson. Emmeline watched as Gideon exchanged a grin with Katie Michelson, Jemina's younger sister. For her life, Emmeline never understood that Hufflepuff group; if the rumors were true the Michelson sisters liked to share boyfriends at the same time.

Emmeline swallowed as she looked at the Ravenclaw table and saw Michael and Justin Davies drape their arms respectively over Penelope Weston and Melissa Stevies's shoulders. Christopher Chang, David Chang's younger brother who was in Emmeline's year, smirked over his cup at Michael and Michael raised his cup at him. The Ravenclaw sixth and seventh year boys were more than willing to take Michael in, especially after Lily Evans's death got out and his fight with Adam.

Emmeline supposed it was unfair of Lily to only tell herself, Marlene, and Jason the truth. All her classmates were under the impression that Lily died over the holidays during an attack on Diagon Alley. She hated keeping secrets, but Adam was keeping too many for her to love him.

Adam sat with the other Gryffindors. Fabian's eyes were glued to Marlene and Sirius and his jaw was locked. Sadly, this was a repeating scene every meal.

And Jason, well Emmeline knew he ate in the Kitchens. But she was Gryffindor's Ice Queen for a reason; she wasn't going to ask him if he would like some company any time soon.

" Vance going to sit?" someone asked. Emmeline looked up and saw that Amelia Bones and Louis Weasley were watching her. After her and Adam's rather public fight, gossip seemed centered around the fact that Emmeline Vance was able to befriend the Gobstone Club. Amelia adjusted her thick lenses and met Emmeline's gaze with a slight squint to her eyes.

" Sorry I was just looking at Gryffindor's house cup. It's a shame those fifth years lost us all those points," Emmeline answered as she sat with the group. The Gobstone Club wasn't known for their parties or their drama. And maybe they weren't invited to any social gatherings and they did get bullied by most of the students in Hogwarts but they didn't have any drama. Emmeline had enough drama for a lifetime.

There were five of them. Amelia Bones, the leader of the group who most certainly had a position waiting for her in the Ministry. Amelia wasn't outright classically beautiful like Marlene or gorgeous like Lily, she was rather plain with chalk-colored skin and dark frizzy curls, which were always pulled up into a bun. She didn't have much experience with boys but Emmeline did catch her watching Henry Abbot quite often.

Henry simply reminded her painfully of Benjy Fenwick. He was gangly and wore the same circular glasses. Only Henry seemed to not have Benjy's studious personality. Emmeline found out from Louis Weasly that Henry was slumping as he already got into the Department of Magical Transportation. Emmeline wished she could have a career secure like Henry and Amelia.

Louis Weasley was the younger brother of Gideon and Fabian's brother-in-law, Arthur Weasley. He was the first Weasley Emmeline met who wasn't in Gryffindor, but rather Hufflepuff. He had the standard Weasley ginger hair and freckles and could often be found shoved into broom closets and locked in for hours. Henry and Pandora Stronach took it upon themselves to hunt Louis down when he went missing.

The member of the group Emmeline found herself most fond of was Pandora, one of the two Ravenclaws. Pandora had long corn silk hair, which she braided with household items like turnips and orange peels. When Adam and Emmeline got into their fight, Pandora had been the person who found Emmeline by the Black Lake. Emmeline could remember her from Pureblood gatherings, but never interacted much with her until now. She supposed there was something whimsical to Pandora's charm, but the truth of the matter was that Pandora had the courage of a Gryffindor. She reminded Emmeline painfully of her old friends.

The last member of the Gobstone club was Damian Belby, the younger brother of Damocles Belby the esteemed member of the International Potions Fold. Emmeline took an immediate disliking to Damian. She knew a snake when she saw one and Belby seemed to find the fact that Lily "died" a bit too amusing.

" We've got some awful Defense homework," Louis exclaimed. Emmeline watched the group leap into a discussion on homework and the new teacher, Professor Tonks. It seemed that the Black family was slowly taking over the staff at Hogwarts.

First Cygnus Black took over the position of Muggle Studies Professor and then Nymphadora Tonks took up the empty Defense Against the Dark Arts position after Professor Kingsmill died. And to make matters even more " Black" was their new headmaster who was rather fond of addressing his students every night at dinner for their morale.

Silence swept over the hall as the dishes disappeared minutes later and the new Headmaster approached the podium. His stormy grey, Black eyes were hidden behind a pair of reading spectacles and Emmeline was more than sure that Sirius Black would look like this man in about a hundred years.

" I hope all you of have had a good day. Classes will be getting more difficult as the year progresses, especially for NEWT and Owl level students. I would advise beginning to prepare for exams soon. Your Professors will be posting their office hours in each of your common rooms. I would urge students to attend these. In other news, Professor Tonks has brought into light the old Dueling Club. It ended a few years back due to the complaints of our Healer at the time for too many injuries. As these times are rather dark, I have made the choice to bring it back. Professor Tonks will be choosing two rather gifted duelers to lead the club along herself and Professor McGonagall. The students chosen will be announced at the end of the week," the Headmaster announced.

He reminded Emmeline of Dumbledore, if anything that was why the School Board chose him. He fit the perfect mix of pureblood and comfort to the student body. Really Alphard Black seemed to do a rather great job of being Headmaster. But Emmeline's eyes weren't on his form during the speech. They were on Sirius Black's and she could see James Potter giving Sirius a warning look.

In honest truth, Emmeline was willing to bet that in a month all five Blacks currently at Hogwarts would blow up eventually. The only question was what the catalyst would be.

* * *

James looked at the glass of firewhiskey in front of his body and the party around him seemed to dull. He felt his eyes lull and could feel Lily's hand on his shoulder.

" You shouldn't let that go flat," she pointed out. James laughed lowly and met her eyes. She was wearing a sundress just like the one from when they went ice-skating at midnight.

" You shouldn't wear sundresses in the winter," he answered. Lily's lips pulled up into a wry smile and her fingers found the hair at the base of his neck. James wanted to pull her into his arms and never let go. But he knew better than to try and touch her; she'd disappear again.

" Sundresses never go out of style," Lily answered with a soft melody to her statement. His eyes closed and James wrapped his finger tightly around his glass of firewhiskey; it was warm.

" What's the party for?" Lily asked. James let out a hard breath and rubbed his forehead. She wasn't here but he wanted her with him more than anything.

" Mulciber turned eighteen and Sirius wanted a reason to snog McKinnon in front of Slytherin house," James explained. Lily's fingers stopped in his hair and her other hand moved to his neck and paused.

" You didn't have to break it," she muttered. James opened his eyes and the glass in his hand shattered. Firewhiskey trailed up his arm and glass stabbed his wrist.

" You didn't have to leave," he answered in a harsh tone. Lily's eyes seemed sad and she let go of him and stood.

" I did James. It's not fair of you to do this," she said pouting. His breath caught in his mouth and James ran his hand through his hair, coating it in sticky firewhiskey.

" You don't get to define fair! Lily you said you loved me," James gasped. Lily met his gaze with a frown and she flipped her hair over her shoulder.

" I could never love a murderer James, you know me better than that," Lily declared. She lifted her head enough for James to catch the glint of her birthmark before Lily's entire form disappeared and Cressida stood where Lily did.

" Get him another drink," she ordered his friends before reaching for James's hand. Wildly, James pulled away and took a ragged breath. Sweat coated his forehead and he could feel a headache pounding against his skull.

" Don't touch me," he managed to growl before standing and stumbling through the common room. He made his way upstairs and managed to shut the door before going to his trunk and pulling out the container of firewhiskey mixed with a surprise he'd gotten in Knockturn Alley.

His eyes were open and James knew that Lily would hate him for this. She was justified for hating drugs and alcohol but James needed this. He had to remember her.

Sweat coated his fingers as he reached for his neck and tugged on the silver chain and gold ball filled with the ash remains of Lily's locket. James let go as his memories engulfed him whole.

_ " I'm tired," Lily said with a yawn. James's lips twitched as he watched her stand reluctantly and follow him out of the Manor. Snow fell to the ground as he led her through his mum's garden and to the woods near the east wing. Lily's arm was tightly around his and her eyes looked through the forest with curiosity. _

_ " I hope you don't have some demonic sacrifice planned," she declared. James smirked and tugged a lock of her hair before chuckling. _

_ " I'm afraid that's on the agenda for Thursday, right next to Christmas Brunch with the Blacks," James answered. Lily wrinkled her nose and trudged through the snow next to him. _

_ " Brunch with the Blacks sounds like a demonic ceremony," Lily admitted in a wry tone. James met her gaze and she gave him a tired smile. He knew that the view would wake her up. _

_ " Luckily we're not actually having Brunch with them. I think bringing a muggleborn would make Mrs. Black faint. I'm pretty sure they'd use you for target practice," James mused. Lily's expression changed slightly and she moved closer to him. James wondered what he said that made her do this. _

_ " So is this what you spent your childhood doing? Roaming the woods for the perfect sacrifice spot?" Lily questioned. James watched her dress float around her pale thighs and shrugged. _

_ " Of course, I also managed to enslave the woodland creatures," he answered in a sarcastic drawl. Lily raised her eyebrow at this and James look__ed__ at her in interest. He could see goosebumps covering her skin and pulled the extra cloak from his__ shoulders__. Within days he figured out that Lily would always forget hers or decide that it was warm enough to go without one. He wondered how she managed to make it this far without freezing to death. _

_ " Don't your friends call you Prongs?" Lily asked as she accepted the cloak without so much as a thank you. Her fingers did squeeze James's when he wrapped his arm through hers again. _

_ " Yeah," James answered gruffly. Lily's lips pulled up and she laughed softly. _

_ " So you're Bambi," Lily concluded. James gave her a disbelieving look and she raised her chin to him. _

_ " Do I look like a bloody fawn? No I'm a stag," James correctly with a prideful tone. Lily burst into laughter and James stopped in their path. The path was lit by fairy lights strung through the nearby trees and stones of the path. Lily's eyes seemed to glow in their light. _

_ " You look more like a fawn. It's your eyes- completely wide and innocent," Lily concluded with a solemn expression. James growled and ran a hand through his hair. _

_ " You're not serious are you?" he demanded. " I'm taller and much bigger than you for Agrippa's sake."_

_ " I'm quite serious, the type of serious without the incestuous family mind you," Lily stated firmly. James watched as she struggled not to laugh and let his lips pull up as he grabbed her and threw her over his shoulders. Lily let out a shriek and pounded against his back while she erupted in laughter. _

_ " I'll show you Bambi," James growled before taking off at a run. Lily's laughter seemed to hit him like whiplash and she managed to hit his back feebly as he sprinted to their destination. _

_ " James Bambi Potter if you don't put me down then I will hex you," Lily threatened. James whirled her around so he was carrying her bridal style and stopped. Lily's cheeks were flushed red and James watched her catch her breath as he did the same. The frost of her breath hit his neck and he put her down. Lily wobbled and James steadied her before covering her eyes and leaning in so his lips brushed her soft ear._

_ " I'm about to reveal my deepest darkest secret to you," James started. Lily's heart raced against his chest and he turned her around and let go of her face. She stared at the small pond in front of them with an awed expression but slight confusion. _

_ James's heart pinched at the pond. His mum used to take him here when he was young. Growing up at Potter Manor meant that his childhood was lonely and for a good deal of time his best friends were his parents. _

_ The house elves managed to keep the pond just as it was for the past sixteen years, even without his mum here. James supposed it had something to do with how they loved his mum. _

_ " Glacius," James said just as his mum used to. He brought his wand towards his shoes and coated them in a layer of ice. Lily watched him and he looked up before leaning down. _

_ " May I?" he asked. She nodded and James lifted her ankle and performed the spell carefully on her shoes. Lily stumbled when he finished and James cautiously led her over to the ice-covered pond. _

_ " Is this safe?" Lily asked. Her tone seemed to shake and James reached for her hands before gliding onto the ice. Lily wobbled and he steadied her. _

_ " I won't let you drown. Besides my mum wouldn't let me do this if there was a possibility of me falling into the water and getting sick, she was a bit overprotective," James, explained. _

_ " I've already got terrible balance," Lily complained as James moved elegantly over the ice. James could feel her eyes watching their feet and let go of her hand to pull her chin up. _

_ " Keep your eyes on mine- I won't let you fall," James vowed. Lily swallowed but looked up and moved closer to him. James pushed forward on his makeshift skates and Lily gasped as his chest found hers. Her eyes were glued to his and James led her around the pond in a slow dance. _

_ After a few minutes, Lily's grip loosened on his and James let go of one of her hands. She made a noise of protest but he let go of her completely. _

_ " James!" Lily exclaimed. He stood in front of her with a kind smile and moved backwards. _

_ " Just push yourself forward, I won't let you fall," James coaxed. Lily sighed and bit her lip before inching forward cautiously. James's lips twitched as she managed to glide towards him and he quickly pulled away._

_ " You said you weren't going to let me fall," Lily accused. James watched her attempt to come after him and moved away. _

_ " You don't need me anymore- just keep your balance," James advised. And he was right. The moon was high in the sky and Lily was gliding across the ice as though she were walking on it. _

_ James moved behind her and she turned her head up to meet his eyes with a soft smile. " It's not so bad," Lily admitted as she turned fully and wrapped her arms around his neck. James leaned in and her nose brushed his. _

_ " Lils," he murmured. She looked up and he wrapped his arms around her waist. Her soft breath hit his and James moved one of his arms to brush some snow from her hair. _

_ " Yeah," Lily breathed. James let his forehead fall against hers and her eyes fluttered shut as his lips met hers. _

His eyes opened and James found himself on his bed. He knew that Remus and Sirius must have moved him from the floor. But their presence and brotherhood didn't stop his heart from aching; Lily was gone and all he had was her ghost in his mind. He felt something and looked down to see his Christmas present to Lily sitting on him.

" Stupid cat," James grumbled as he lifted the brown kitten off his chest. It began to protest when James dumped it onto his pillow and scrambled for his body. Lily left him heart broken and with a kitten named Bambi. There was a low piercing sound coming from the cat as he fell back against his bed and closed his eyes; Lily's laugh was waiting for him in his dreams.

The next morning was a Saturday and because most of Slytherin had hangovers, James was able to run and go back to the common room with little disturbance. It was six when he left the dungeons to go to the library. He planned to return to go to breakfast with the other Marauders before eight. Yet James had a History of Magic paper to write, and without Lily's notes to duplicate when she wasn't looking, well James was simply screwed.

He swaggered into the quiet room and ignored the shocked expression on Madame Pince's face as he settled down with a few textbooks and a fresh scroll.

" You know if you needed a little help with History of Magic all you have to do is ask," someone said in front of him.

" Moony I thought you were going to wait for Padfoot," James said without looking up. Remus collapsed into the seat next to him and took a swing from the flask of pain relief potion he kept near him during the week of the full moon.

" McKinnon's keeping him company," Remus answered. James made a gagging sound and Remus laughed.

" It's not that her being there is horrid, it's the fact that they forget silencing charms every night," Remus pointed out.

" I'm a little lost as to why they decided to shag each other constantly. I swear they're going to break the record for getting caught in broom closets," James replied.

" McKinnon's brother got into that fight with Vance and now all the Gryffindors are broken up. It's strange, they were a really tight-knit bunch," Remus admitted.

James scrawled out another sentence and ran a hand through his hair. " What's up with Vance anyways? I was checking the map and I think Gastor's shagging her in the East Wing," James revealed in a stiff tone.

" It's none of our business," Remus answered. James bit his tongue and looked at Remus. He knew Remus sided with him. What Jason did was so wrong that James couldn't even think about him without wanting to punch something.

" Prongs he's sleeping in the bloody Room of Requirement or in one of the girls', who he's shagged, beds. At least let him in the common room," Remus said in a low voice.

James narrowed his eyes and scoffed. " He'll probably slit one of the first years' throats. Come on Moony all he does is hurt other people- especially us. Need I remind you what he forced you to do?" James asked in a cold tone.

Remus paled and his hand clenched around the flask. James let his scroll out to dry and began stacking the textbooks. After what Jason did to him, hearing what Jason did to Remus wasn't so unbelievable.

" He screwed each of us over. Just because he's stuck with a shitty life doesn't mean that we have to be in his position," James attacked.

" He was our friend," Remus said weakly.

" Jason Gastor did nothing but make us small like him. He was holding us back Moony. And he used us. He used you to try and get his family back and he stabbed Sirius in the back to get someone to love him. He took Lily from me- Jason Gastor stole my fucking happily ever after," James ranted. His voice grew shakier with each word and Remus grabbed his arm and squeezed it.

" I know Prongs, but he did say that she was going to come back," Remus commented. James stood and packed his belongings quickly. He faced Remus with a disappointed look in his eyes.

" I thought you of all people would understand that the Gastors lie. After all Jason did trick you into agreeing to marry Andromeda Tonks' daughter."

* * *

Lily nearly forgot how easy it was to kill. All it took was a well-placed dagger and a good spell. The full moon was high enough in the sky for her body to ache from the magic she was fighting. The new moon seemed too long ago, even though it brought her more pain than she'd ever felt before.

" Behind you," a voice uttered lowly. Lily reached up and whirled around to find her dagger in a werewolf's chest. Its yellow eyes met her green ones and hissed as she pulled the blade out.

" Cursed blood," it hissed before spitting blood onto her face. A groan slipped out of Lily's mouth and she used her sleeve to wipe away the blood. She pitied the people who would stumble into this forest soon enough. The snow was the only testimony to her killing.

" We got all of them," Judea Gladstone murmured as she stepped out of the shadows. She kicked a body out of her way and Lily wrinkled her nose in the darkness of the night.

" I got the Alpha to slip something to me. Apparently the muggles they were kidnapping were used as prey for their hunts," she revealed.

Lily knew that the werewolves in Southern France's forests weren't like the ones in Greece. This lot was crueler and ten times worse. The pack she and her aunt had just eradicated was known across France for targeting young muggle children, not for conversions but to hunt for sport.

" Well they're gone now," Lily, answered as she looked over her body for any wounds. She left Paris a week ago and running into her aunt in the forests of southern France was a surprise she did not need. But Judea Gladstone knew about the quest she had to take better than anyone else.

Lily helped Professor Gladstone levitate the corpses into a large pile and ignite it. She hadn't recovered from the first part of her quest yet but Lily knew that the pain was worth it. As the flames engulfed the bodies of the werewolves, Lily could feel her magic try to rise up and meet the fire, but it was weaker than ever before.

She slumped into the snow-covered ground and Professor Gladstone stood over the fire. The flames created a shadow around her hawk-like features and Lily moved onto her back to look up at the sky. She wondered if the stars were supposed to hurt this much.

Her fingers reached for the bracelet that was once around her wrist, but Lily scraped her bare wrist instead of the gold material. She managed to lose the Gastor Family heirloom within two weeks. It seemed strange that the force she had been so reluctant to face was the one that would free her of her family's control.

It also meant that her luggage had to be moved to a Moleskin pouch Alex Moody charmed for her. Something in her heart dulled at the thought of the recently married Moodys. Lily hadn't known Eliza terribly well until she arrived in France, but she did miss her tremendously after death eaters arrived at the wedding.

Her eyes closed and she wondered where Galen was during the past four weeks of her stay in France. After arriving she managed to find Abilene Lestrange and stayed with her family in the north for a good week before Abilene tried to get some revenge for their petty games back in Beauxbatons.

It was easy enough to find Eliza's flower shop and her would-be sister-in-law was more than willing to help Lily remove the spell that Abilene managed to get on her.

Lily reached up and her fingers met the sharp cut to her shortened hair. It ended in a short slant at her jaw thanks to a lovely tar spell Abilene picked up from some students at Beauxbatons.

Staying with the Moodys went well enough until Lily left for the coast to start her mission. But Eliza and Alex couldn't do much to help her after she performed the first part. So she stayed for their wedding and left when the death eaters showed up. After all Eliza was the last possible Rosier bloodline left.

Cold nipped at her fingers as she traced a soft pattern in the snow. Lily smiled wryly at the design when she was finished and rubbed her hands together inside of her cloak.

Something hit her and Lily glared at her older partner. Professor Gladstone leaned against a nearby tree and smirked at her.

" I wouldn't forget your birthday. And seventeen too, those are known for being quite important," she declared. Her pink fingers pulled the object from the snow and Lily stared at it in surprise.

" You did say that your wand was destroyed during that attack on Platform 9 and ¾. It's a rather special wand at that too. Look at the handle," Professor Gladstone drawled.

Lily traced her fingers along the wood and paused when she came to the golden handle. The simple star design on it was one she remembered vaguely.

" How did you get my father's wand?" Lily demanded. Professor Gladstone smirked and gestured for Lily to stand.

" Dumbledore gave it to me before he left. To quote him, 'give it to Lily when she's ready,'" Professor Gladstone revealed. Lily ignored her as she stood and raised the wand.

" Avis," she declared. There was silence before a flock of sparrows shot out of her wand. Lily's heart ached and she knew that going a month without magic was worth it.

" It's a good match," Professor Gladstone noted as they watched the sparrows fly around the clearing. Lily nodded and pocketed the wand.

" There's another pack near Sweden that's been providing new soldiers for Voldemort, we can make it before the night's over," Professor Gladstone declared. Lily swallowed and struggled not to let her ragged state show. But in the woods it was kill or be killed.

" Fine by me, but you're looking tired," Lily answered with a taunt. The sharp sounds of Professor Gladstone's cynical laughter ripped through the air as she made a makeshift portkey and the pair left France.

Lily had no idea that she would never return to France again. She had no idea that her traveling companion would be dead before the sun rose the next morning. But she did have a sinking feeling in her gut as she saw the full moon high in the sky; fighting werewolves was a distraction, not her mission.

* * *

" Everybody's got to die," Jason muttered. Michael met his eyes and felt the staircase they were sitting on shift. He didn't know that anyone else liked to sit on the staircases while they changed positions. But Jason Gastor seemed to.

" Awfully morbid thing to say about your sister," Michael answered with a disbelieving tone. If he was alive then Jason was dead. Michael was soaring and Jason was drowning.

" When most of your family's died then you have to adjust. Besides, I think Lily's a lot better off now," Jason, continued. Michael leaned against the stair above them. He grabbed the firewhiskey bottle he knicked from Fabian's stash and took a swig. Jason took it from him and his fingers worked at the peeling label.

" How so?" Michael asked. Jason shrugged and moonlight hit him. His gold eyes looked poisonous in that moment.

" Everybody she loves is dead, Julius, the Kingsmills, and the Auclairs. She's with them now," Jason explained.

" She didn't want to die," Michael argued. Prefects could catch them at any moment and for some reason it made what they were doing so much better.

" None of them did, they were too young- we're too young."

There was an unspoken agreement. They could spend their nights together like this- two insomniacs with no friends left and the world to discuss. But when day came, Jason and Michael would part ways and continue to ignore each other.

" Imagine not living to be seventeen," Jason mused. Michael couldn't help but agree. They hadn't really even started life yet.

" We fell apart without her. I think that the Gryffindors always needed a glue to hold us together and Lily was ours, at least for a year," Michael replied.

" Everybody thought you lot were gold. You guys were what everybody wanted to be and still does," Jason laughed. He passed Michael the firewhiskey and Michael simply held it.

" What do you mean?" Michael asked. Jason stared at him incredulously and ran a hand through his messy golden curls.

" You don't know? It's like your friends live in a bloody bubble. Why do you think Pr- I mean James hates you lot so much? The Marauders well we had each other," Jason said with a hint of a bitter tone. " The Gryffindors had everything. You had your leaders, Longbottom and McKinnon. The future stars of the Wizarding World, the Prewitt twins. Then there's the classic beauty, Marlene with a hint of tragedy surrounding her. The icing would be of course, the power couple, Vance and McKinnon. The future Mr. and Mrs. Wood, Alice and Frank. And then you had Lily, the girl everybody loved," Jason explained.

Michael's lips twitched; they were anything but the things he said. " What about me?" he asked gruffly. Jason smirked and slapped Michael's shoulder.

" The bad boy obviously. Actually you act more like a Marauder than a Gryffindor," Jason mused.

" I stopped sleeping around a while ago," Michael protested. Jason shrugged and wrapped his fingers together. Michael noticed that his hands were covered in a layer of dirt and ink stains.

" Where have you been sleeping?" he asked finally. For four weeks he didn't ask Jason any questions. He knew that it would hurt to hear the answers.

" Room of Requirement. Sirius and me found it back in our fifth year. Maybe I'll take you up there some time," Jason answered.

" This is going to blow over right?" Michael asked. Jason's expression faltered and he coughed.

" I guess we'll have to wait and see," he answered. Michael nodded and could feel Jason watching him.

" I miss her like hell," Michael finally declared. There was an empty pit inside of his gut where Lily's laugh used to be. And there was something broken and wrong in this world when he couldn't hear light banter with her as they patrolled. There was a stinging sensation where Lily used to keep track of how many times they caught Emmeline and Adam together in a broom closet.

" It's normal- that's what everybody says," Jason answered bitterly. There was something off to his tone and Michael faced him fully. Jason's eyes didn't flicker from his eyes like most people. Even Lily's eyes always flickered to his scar and then back to his eyes. Michael never missed the hint of sympathy in people when they faced him. But Jason Gastor didn't look at him with pity.

" It's not normal to live in a world where a girl dies at sixteen and no one seems outraged," Michael replied.

There was silence for a moment and Michael froze when Jason's hand found his and he squeezed it. But there was something brotherly in his touch so Michael let the moment continue on.

If anything, he never considered one of his closest friends to be Jason Gastor. But then again Lily was supposed to be his partner in the auror office and now she was dead.

" Watch it," a seventh year Ravenclaw snapped. Jason narrowed his eyes but moved out of the way. Walking through corridors proved to be a horrifically difficult task ever since James blacklisted him.

He was late to Defense Against the Dark Arts because of the blacklisting and due to the fact that he had no roommates anymore. The Room of Requirement provided everything except companions. And spending all night talking to Michael didn't help him in the sleeping department.

Although he slammed the door open and the class paused to stare at him, Andromeda Tonks did not address the scene he made. Jason assumed it had something to do with his assistance in helping her protect her daughter.

He shuffled to the middle of the room. The back was where the Marauders sat and the front was where Michael sat. So Jason decided to pick neutral territory and sat in a mostly empty area.

" We're down to the final four duels before the finals for being selected to help run the dueling club. Adam McKinnon won the competition between my seventh years so one of you will take the spot alongside him to run the dueling club," Professor Tonks announced.

Jason had been pitted against Marlene McKinnon in the earlier rounds and lost the match purposely- Marlene was a shite dueler but he wasn't willing to spend extra time with the woman who broke his brother's heart.

Besides McKinnon was a coward if anything.

He didn't know why he'd chosen to help Andromeda out in the first place. Maybe it was because Lily seemed fond enough of Andromeda's daughter. Jason wasn't willing to think of another reason as to why he would help the woman who tore his family apart.

Andromeda Tonks may have renounced her Black heritage, but her physical presence screamed Black. She had Sirius's same glossy black curls and Bellatrix's cool grey eyes. Her skin was the typical aristocratic tone with high cheekbones and a long nose. Even if she tried not to, Andromeda came off as cold and superior.

" James Potter against Remus Lupin and Sirius Black against Michael Wood," Professor Tonks declared. Jason sat up when he heard the pairings and watched as James and Remus started to duel in the front of the classroom.

Although Remus was talented with a wand, he didn't have James's natural inclination with dueling. Within ten minutes, James had Remus's wand in his free hand and his wand was pressed against Remus's pulse. Jason could see a sweat breaking out on Remus's forehead and knew that the full moon must have been rough without him there to help freeze the Whomping Willow. Either James or Sirius had to subdue Remus while the other rushed to freeze the tree without getting hit.

From the way Sirius was moving the morning after the full moon, Jason knew that the Willow hit him more than once.

Sirius and Michael stood in front of the room minutes later and Remus and James moved to the back of the room. Jason struggled not to glance at them as he watched Sirius and Michael. He really didn't know which was the better dueler.

" Start," Professor Tonks shouted. Immediately, Sirius had a nonverbal spell diving for Michael's form and Michael ducked before sending a stunning spell at Sirius.

" Come on Wood, I thought that you'd be a better dueler. I guess it's true that Evans saved you from the big bad death eater," Sirius goaded. Jason frowned and he could imagine James's jaw locking at Sirius's snide remark.

" Expelliarmus," Michael shouted. His spell lanced at Sirius who quickly shot up a shield charm, which wasn't strong enough.

Sirius stumbled back and Michael shot spell after spell his way. They dueled like animals. If Sirius and James could make a battlefield their stage, then Michael and Sirius were demolishing everything in sight.

" Incarcerous," Sirius announced. Jason leaned forward and Michael quickly shot the Bat-Bogey hex at him. Jason shoved his curls back and sucked in a breath as Sirius took an offensive path and knicked Michael's shoulder with a leg-locking curse. He walked over to Michael who managed to sit up and hit Sirius with a tickling charm.

" Dammit Wood," Sirius grunted as he grabbed Michael's wand and collapsed to the ground. Jason sucked in a breath when Professor Tonks declared Sirius the winner and sent Michael back to his seat. Davies and Chang slapped Michael on the back and Jason rolled his eyes at the things they were saying; Sirius won and didn't cheat for once.

After the charm wore off, James walked to the front of the room and stood in front of Sirius. Jason frowned and James looked up to meet his eyes with a smirk before facing Sirius.

He never dueled with James for a reason- to him James was not trustworthy on a battlefield. Jason had seen him do things that no one could stop. And Jason knew that he would end up beating himself up thinking that he could have stopped James.

" Expelliarmus," Sirius said as James stood there and did not make a move. His eyes were closed and they opened in time for him to send a body-locking spell back at Sirius, countering the disarming spell.

They moved like birds, Jason mused. Spells resounded off each other and their steps seemed to shadow each other. It was as though they were dueling in their minds one step ahead of what spells were being shot.

That was before James froze and his wand fell to the ground. Jason watched as he stared at the knockback jinx coming his way. James's eyes dulled slightly and he took a ragged breath before facing something at the window.

" Prongs!" Jason shouted as the spell hit him and James flew back into the wall. His eyes were closed but opened to show something anxious and acute behind his glasses.

" Get out of my head," he growled loud enough for the class to hear. Jason frowned as James glared at the window. Sirius and Professor Tonks made their way to him but James stood and shoved them away before looking at the window with an enraged expression.

His eyes dulled after a moment and James took a deep breath before raising his wand towards Jason. " Call me that again and I will make you regret it," he threatened before walking up the steps and to the back without another word. Jason felt blood flood to his face and barely heard Professor Tonks declare Sirius the winner.

He frowned and looked at the window of the room. Outside it was snowing and Jason could see the edge of the Forbidden Forest from where he sat. Whatever James had seen wasn't visible to him.

Jason trudged up to the Owl Tower after his classes ended and found his owl Hades waiting there with a new companion. He stared at the small hawk-like bird and removed the letter from its foot holster trying to avoid its sharp beak.

Jason had work to do and he opened the letter to see Lily's handwriting warped into Cassius's scrawl. Something hit him hard in the chest to know that Lily was fine with pretending to be their missing brother. It was like she lost a little bit of her humanity by doing this.

* * *

" Burn me," Judea Gladstone begged. " Burn me and take my ashes to Greece. I want to be with him," she gasped. Blood fell out of her mouth and Lily struggled to keep her standing as she pulled them both out of the burning forest in Sweden. They shouldn't have come here- the pack was much larger than either of them could have foreseen.

" Promise me you'll take me to the sea," Judea breathed. Lily stopped near a large rock and held the dying witch in her arms. She brushed blood from her face and frowned.

" After all this time you still love him?" she asked. Professor Gladstone smiled and blood slipped in between her teeth. Bite marks stained her torso and blood perfused from the gaping mess that was the remains of her left leg.

" Haven't you learned anything from me? We don't get to choose the people we love, otherwise I'd never help you or Lyall. I love him," Judea croaked. Lily watched her look up to the sky and her breaths came out painfully.

" You have her eyes," Judea choked. Lily met her gaze and she raised one of her bloodied hands to Lily's face. " Delphina's eyes Lily," she rasped. "They had the same hope in them- don't lose that," Judea said with a forced command. Lily watched as her breaths stilled and her eyes dulled.

Maybe in the end her aunt did love her mum and maybe she loved Lily. But that didn't mean she wanted to love either of them and that shook Lily down to the soul.

She loved James down to her bones because he didn't know how to fake a smile and even in the world they lived in he was able to smile so much.

* * *

**I started writing Confingo to improve my own writing and I really wanted a lot more reviews. I don't typically ask blatantly for reviews but it would be good to have more so I can know if my plot is making sense and my writing. To get more reviews I am willing to take up a trick a friend of mine told me. To any person who reviews this chapter, I will send them a sneak peak of Chapter 21. **

**I'm thrilled that guest reviewer Chelsea has found her old account. Your reviews are great!**

**In a last note, the point of views for this part are not permanent. I'm trying to do all five that were in this chapter every chapter but there may be more characters added to the povs. **

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	21. Something Dangerous

**Chapter 21 Something Dangerous**

**(What We're Fighting for)**

* * *

" You're a Vance," Emmeline muttered under her breath. She turned and threw a spell towards a death eater before ducking and pressing her body up against a tree.

" Vances don't run from danger- we run towards it."

Emmeline heard loud shouts and ducked right before a spell hit the tree she was hiding behind

" Bugger."

Splinters found their way into her cloak making her look something akin to a porcupine. Shaking them off, Emmeline turned over and could see the dark mark over the sky to the south.

" Em," Gideon grunted as he stumbled out of the woods towards her. Emmeline eyed his cast before sitting up on her own. That particular item had been strapped to Gideon's right arm for weeks on end. He was trying to make something he lost real again. No cast and no spell could fix his hand.

" Moody is going to be pissed," Emmeline replied.

Gideon's lips pulled down at this and he walked after her through the snowing night.

" Not much to be pissed at- we haven't won one of these raids since the Death Eaters retreated from Hogwarts," Gideon mused.

She wasn't on good terms with any of the Gryffindors. All of them wanted her back with Adam, even Gideon. But he was better at hiding it than Marlene and Frank.

Then again, she was closer with Gideon than any of the other Gryffindors. Over time it seemed to occur to the pair that someone was always going to outshine them. Fabian was so much more dynamic and Alice was golden in everyone's eyes. Emmeline was just a looked over happily ever after and Gideon was just one of a pair.

" Did you see Vanity and Jones back there? The States know how to train their aurors," Gideon asked in a conversational tone.

" Well Bishop's there. He must have trained Emma and Hestia," Emmeline answered stiffly. Gideon frowned at her and wrapped his left hand around her wrist. Emmeline stopped and turned to him with an expecting expression.

" You shouldn't push us away for worrying about you- it only means we care," Gideon accused softly.

" I'm not pushing you lot away, we're growing apart. It's natural Gid."

" No you're pushing us away. If we were growing apart then I wouldn't care that Alice is hurting and Adam's hurting," Gideon protested.

" Adam deserves this," Emmeline choked. " He's been doing exactly what he promised not to for years! Adam's allowed to have his secrets but I'm not," Emmeline spat.

" Come on Em, you're Emmeline and Adam- you two are supposed to live happily ever after," Gideon exclaimed. Emmeline's eyes filled with tears and she violently brushed them away before facing him.

Her nostrils flared slightly and she wanted nothing more than to cry. But Vances were brave and she didn't need Adam to be brave.

" There's no such thing as happily ever after; they're just there so kids don't go off and become suicidal maniacs," Emmeline responded with a dark tone. Before Gideon could speak, she grabbed his hand and apparated them to the headquarters of the week for the Order.

Septimus Weasley, although coming along in his age, had enough sense to know right from wrong. Even though most of the Order thought of him as similar to Dumbledore, Emmeline knew his secret. He agreed to join and aid the Order on the condition that none of his sons be involved in its workings.

So when Emmeline was seated next to him when she and Gideon arrived back at the temporary headquarters, Emmeline avoided speaking to him and instead held Edgar Bones's new baby and talked to Amelia, who had been inducted over Christmas Break.

" Sammie Bones is her name, I'm the godmother," Amelia explained as Emmeline cradled the wide-eyed baby. Emmeline brushed one of Sammie's curls back and smiled at the sleeping baby.

" Ed named her after Sam Dearborn you know. They were terribly close," Amelia explained.

" Rick was friends with him- they ran the dueling club back in their day," Emmeline answered with a smile.

" Nasty business isn't it? Henry and Pandora are planning on joining but I think Damian, Louis, and myself are going to sit this one out. It's hard enough to prepare for the NEWTs and manage Order work," Amelia sighed.

At the mentioning of the Dueling Club, Emmeline looked up to where Adam and her friends sat. He was watching her and she frowned at him. He gestured to the door and when Sammie woke and began crying, Emmeline passed the baby to Amelia and ducked out of the room on the pretense of needing a smoke.

It was still snowing and she wrapped her cloak tightly around her form as she stood on the porch of the old Victorian built house. Adam stood near the edge and gripped the railing.

" I didn't know you liked babies," he declared as he stepped into the light with a smirk on his face. Emmeline tightened her grip on her cloak and brushed one of her tight curls from her eyes.

" Well you practically brainwashed me for two years... Not much time to have opinions that weren't yours," she answered sharply. Adam frowned and leaned towards her.

" Don't twist what happened. I only helped you calm down a few times," Adam argued.

" You shouldn't have."

" You shouldn't have told Michael what I told you."

There was silence after this and Emmeline sighed. She reached up and rubbed her forehead before speaking.

" I'm sorry Adam; I'm sorry for breaking your trust like that. But I can't take it back," Emmeline answered lowly.

" I know that but my family is none of society's business," Adam answered.

"Don't you want to know who your dad is?" Emmeline demanded. Adam's mouth fell and closed before he answered.

"I'm not an absolute idiot Emma- I know who he is," Adam answered with a leer. Emmeline pursed her lips and looked out across the hills towards the small town in the distance.

" I know it's not Rick writing to you. He died Emmeline and you may have everybody fooled but I've got a head start on them," Adam said as he tapped his head. Emmeline flushed and walked over to him and forced him to meet her eyes.

" How dare you." Her eyes were filled with hate and Adam leaned towards her.

" Just tell me who you're writing to and I'll drop everything, even the Michael thing," Adam bargained. Emmeline bit her tongue and looked away from him.

" It's not my secret to share," she justified. " Besides I don't want to forgive you." Adam shook his head and turned away from her.

" I was helping you," he countered spitefully. Emmeline shook her head and ran her fingers along the edge of her cloak.

" No you were- you were trapping me. Adam you promised to never use the compulsion charms," Emmeline said breathlessly.

" It's a lot easier said than done," Adam retorted.

" It was my freedom!" Emmeline hissed. Adam's eyes flashed and he turned and grabbed her hand before she could retreat.

" You were free and you still are. I'm not a trap Emmeline- how could you ever think I was?" Adam asked in a hurt tone.

Swallowing, Emmeline answered him. " Because you tricked me into thinking we were gold when we were nothing but lies and secrets," she whispered before breaking out of his grip and walking back into the house.

* * *

" Professor Flitwick may I steal Ms. Vance from your class," Headmaster Black asked from the doorway. Emmeline turned and met Adam's electric blue eyes as she paled; the last time she was pulled out of class her parents died.

" Of course, Ms. Vance you're excused," Professor Flitwick answered back. Emmeline swallowed and shoved her belongings into her bag. She could feel Henry and Amelia Bones watching her with concerned expressions as she stood and walked towards the door. She hoped to Merlin that Adam couldn't see her legs shaking when she exited the classroom.

" You're not in trouble Ms. Vance," Headmaster Black noted as he caught her expression. " If anything it's the complete opposite."

Emmeline hadn't been expected to be pulled out of class and taken to the Black Lake of all places. She stood next to Professor Black with a scowl on her face.

" Ah here he is. Mr. Scamander simply wanted to visit the merpeople settlement in the Black Lake," he explained.

Before Emmeline could speak, the ice coating the Black Lake shattered and her cloak blew off as a man stepped out of the middle of the water. She was too stunned to even notice his very lovely bare chest.

" I trust the Merpeople weren't too pleased with your visit," Headmaster Black shouted over the water. Emmeline gaped at the man who broke through the ice and was currently swimming through the frigid water towards them.

" They seemed rather pleased to accept the news I brought of their relations in the Lochs," the man answered as he ploughed through ice and water. Emmeline finally reached her senses to notice that the ice explosion had broken her hairband and her hair fell around her in thick curls.

" Always the type to prove me wrong Mr. Scamander," Black shouted with a jovial tone. The man finally reached the banks of the Lake and stood. He was tall enough to tower over even her. Emmeline Vance, whose height often brought jokes of bumping into ceilings, was currently being towered over.

A large tattoo was on the man's collarbones and Emmeline could make out a pair of bright amber eyes- eyes the color of the full moon, she concluded. A head of ash-blonde locks and a chiseled facial structure was wiped clean of water as the man walked towards them.

His lips pulled up into a perfect wide smile and his eyes flew to her figure. He stopped in front of her and Emmeline's face was directly in front of his collarbones. She could make out another smaller tattoo near his heart but tilted her head up to meet his eyes.

" You're mad," she managed to breath. His smile widened and Emmeline noticed that his teeth were boldly white.

" In what sense? Insane or brilliant, I'd like to think you find me positively brilliant," he answered in an amused tone. Emmeline scoffed and brushed a curl behind her ear. His eyes followed her finger and she raised an eyebrow.

" Insane, it's in the negatives in the Black Lake, besides there's a bloody Giant Squid in there," Emmeline replied.

" Ms. Vance! I do apologize for her Mr. Scamander," Headmaster Black hastily noted. The man raised his hand towards Emmeline and his smile did not falter.

" Don't, do you mind if I steal Emmeline here for the afternoon. I have a proposition for her that she'll need some privacy to hear," the man said in a crisp accent. Emmeline struggled to identify it. It sounded like a mix of different tones but she did pick up a strong Australian undertone to it.

" Not at all. Be sure to bring her back before curfew though," Headmaster Black replied before leaving. Emmeline heard his footsteps fade as the man's hand extended further to her.

" You're Emmeline Vance," he said as though it was something he'd carefully studied. Emmeline glanced at his golden hand and crossed hers over her chest.

" And you're the mad man who decided to go for a swim in the middle of winter," Emmeline responded.

" I think I like you Vance," he started with a loud laugh. " I'm Beckett, Beckett Scamander and I do suppose you've heard of my father Newt?"

" Well I do take Care of Magical Creatures," Emmeline answered. Newt Scamander was an esteemed Magizoologist who travelled the world in search of new creatures to find for his book. Professor Grubbly-Plank worshipped his writings.

" Well I'm crossing my fingers that you find me charming enough to join me for a drink in the Three Broomsticks and a conversation concerning your future," he asked asked. Emmeline weighed her options. Lily hadn't written a letter yet and she had a pile of homework to do. Adam had taken to watching her in the Library from a table with Frank and Alice.

" I suppose so," Emmeline replied nonchalantly.

" That I'm charming?" he asked in a delighted tone. Emmeline shook her head and let out the first honest laugh she had in a very long time.

" That I'm desperate enough for some firewhiskey to join you."

* * *

Emmeline swallowed the entire glass of firewhiskey in one gulp. She placed her glass down and sighed from the buzz.

" Like to drink?" Beckett asked as he swirled his own. He'd changed into a set of clothing he left near the shore and hardly looked ready to die. Emmeline shook her head and pulled her tie off and stuffed it into the pocket of her cloak.

" It's been a while since my last. My boyfriend and his mates provide the drinks for parties and we're in a bit of a fight," Emmeline explained.

" Cheat on you?" Beckett asked. Emmeline smirked at this and scoffed.

" He's an arse and it took me too long to realize it, " Emmeline corrected.

" I myself have never had a school sweetheart. My parents thought that joining them on their travels was enough of an education," Beckett revealed.

" Sounds horrid," Emmeline answered. He raised an eyebrow at this and leaned forward.

" How so?"

" I think it's an injustice not to be able to go to Hogwarts. You missed out on many scrolls wasted on essays that would be thrown away weeks after being written," Emmeline explained in a sarcastic tone.

" Ha ha, I went for two years before Dad wanted to go to Brazil and study some of their avian life."

" House?" Emmeline asked. Beckett smiled and glanced at her Gryffindor tie.

" Hufflepuff."

Emmeline's forehead wrinkled and she stared at him in puzzlement. "Badgers aren't terribly keen on the dangerous lifestyle," she muttered.

" Of course I think swimming in a frozen lake filled with merpeople and a Giant Squid is the picture-perfect definition of Gryffindor, but I do like the perks of being a Hufflepuff well enough. We're a friendly bunch you know," Beckett declared with a roguish smile. Emmeline could make out a faded scar along his arm and he watched her.

" What?" she queried with a slight smile.

" You're not what I expected," Beckett answered. Emmeline frowned and tilted her head slightly.

" What did you expect?" she asked.

"Well there's the matter of the stick up your arse. I thought you were a Vance," he explained.

Emmeline gaped at him before narrowing her eyes and glaring at him.

" How is there a stick up my arse?" she insisted.

" You're a Vance- doesn't your lot ride dragons?" he asked.

" That's what we're know for," Emmeline answered tersely.

" I could see you facing a dragon, but you wouldn't ride it. No you'd probably scold it or something," Beckett revealed. Emmeline stared at him in utter shock and he leaned towards her.

" Want to prove me wrong?" he asked with a wild glint in his eyes. Her homework could be ignored. Emmeline grabbed his hand and dragged him up. She could feel her heart racing- she hadn't felt this alive since Adam and her were fighting.

" So where are we going?" he asked as she walked dead straight for the Forbidden Forest. Emmeline turned with a rough smile and twirled her wand between her index finger and ring finger.

" Somewhere dangerous," she answered before plunging towards the darkness of the Forbidden Forest.

" You've got enough ink stains on your hands to write a book and your skin resembles someone who hasn't left the library in ages. I doubt we've got the same idea of dangerous," Beckett mused.

" I'm about to show you why the Forbidden Forest is forbidden," Emmeline promised as they walked further into the forest. Stray sunlight hit the ground and she looked to her side to see Beckett's expression.

His yellow eyes shown with adrenaline and his finger shoved his long hair back. Adam's hair was short enough that it barely brushed his forehead. This man's hair seemed to resemble something of a wild tornado.

" Bloody hell you aren't going to kill me or something," he muttered as Emmeline pulled him down and met his gaze.

" There's an Acromantula nest up ahead. Hagrid, the groundkeeper, took some of my classmates and me to meet one last year. You and I, well we're going to get one of those lovely fangs," Emmeline explained.

Anyone else would have left then and there; Adam would have stunned her and dragged her off too. But Beckett simply smiled even more and reached for his boot.

" I'm in if you'll get my back," he replied as he shoved a dagger in Emmeline's direction and wielded his wand and a small knife.

" For the fang," he offered in explanation. Emmeline nodded and looked over the rock they were crouched in front of. She could make out the outskirts of the Acromantula colony and heard the clicking sound they made when excited.

" Just to be sure, these are the eight foot spiders that have a certain thirst for human flesh right?" Beckett asked.

" Scared?" Emmeline asked.

" Of spiders no. I'm sure you can take care of yourself well enough. But my dad would murder me if he found out what we're about to do," Beckett mused.

" Why? They're not endangered," Emmeline pointed out.

"He'd be upset that I didn't take him along and let him get the killing blow. Mum and him ran into a colony in Brazil a few decades back. Let's just say that the buggers hadn't been terribly kind enough to offer much for his book."

" I'd rather not face all of them so we're simply going to set up a trap and wait for one to come out here," Emmeline instructed.

" They don't stray far from their colonies," Beckett pointed out. Emmeline picked up a small rock from the ground before pushing it against her palm. Blood beaded and she bit her lip to keeping from yelping.

" They will if they smell human blood, I hope you've got some rope in those boots," Emmeline said as she smeared her hand over the giant rock.

About an hour later, dusk had arrived and Beckett was securing their net trap. Emmeline rubbed her hand over nearby surfaces before finally healing it.

" You're awful at healing charms," he stated behind her. Emmeline turned and huffed.

" My roommate wants to be in Mungos so there was no point in me getting terribly good at them," Emmeline explained.

" Nonsense, if you're going to join me in the summer then you'll need to know enough healing tricks," Beckett retorted.

" Join you?" Emmeline asked as he examined her hand and redid her spell.

" I'll explain later, I do believe we've got one of those bastards," he voiced. Emmeline could hear the sound of clicking and Beckett dragged her towards the rock.

" Not a word," he ordered before rubbing fallen leaves and dirt on both of them. Emmeline gaped at him and he held his finger over her mouth.

" They've got fantastic noses," he explained. Wind brushed Emmeline's caramel and chestnut locks over her face and Beckett brushed a few back before looking over the rock. Emmeline ignored the buzzing sensation on her face and joined him.

It was quite the beast, she decided. A large spider with a slight limp approached the rock. Its mouth released several clicking sounds and venom dripped from its maw. Emmeline shuddered as its six pairs of eyes buzzed around the area in search of prey.

" Humans where are you?" it said in a deep voice. Emmeline held her breath as it locked eyes with her and took a step into their trap. Ropes formed under it and pulled it high into the tree. Emmeline watched it thrash about and let out loud sounds of surprise- loud enough to attract the attention of the colony.

" Hurry, more will come," Emmeline quickly instructed as she lowered the net from one tree. The beast was tangled thoroughly and met her gaze and Beckett's.

" Two humans what a delight! I'll have more than enough for a good meal," it hissed. Emmeline ducked as its venom sprayed out and hit a nearby tree. She swallowed as a hole appeared and met Beckett's gaze.

" Now," he ordered as he dived for the beast. Emmeline's fingers were covered in sweat as she reached for her dagger and sprinted to the beast.

" Arania Exumai!" Beckett shouted. Emmeline watched as his spell hit the beast and stunned it. Its body was frozen as she grabbed one of its fangs and pulled it out. Venom and a mix of black blood sprayed out and covered Emmeline's robes.

" Buggering hell," she exclaimed before throwing them off. Black blood dripped down her face and arms but none of the venom got on her body.

She made eye contact with Beckett and he grinned at her and she smiled at him. Then they both heard loud clicking sounds that engulfed the forest.

" Fuck! Let's go before one of his friend's find us," Beckett ordered as he grabbed Emmeline and pulled her after him. And this time she was okay with him pulling them away because they'd faced the dangerous thing that Adam wouldn't let her near.

Emmeline followed him in a sprint as her fingers held the fang tightly.

" I can't believe we just did that," she shouted as they tore through the forest. Beckett let out a bark of laughter and looked over their shoulders.

" Well you certainly are a Vance. Emmeline Vance the Acromantula Slayer," Beckett declared.

" We didn't actually kill it," Emmeline protested. Beckett's eyes glimmered and he grinned.

" I know but everybody's got to get their epithet somehow."

They reached the edge of Hogwarts' grounds and Emmeline let out a delirious cry of joy. Beckett fell onto the ground and stared at the sky with a victorious grin.

" I can't believe we just did that," Emmeline spoke.

" I can, I could see us doing a lot more things like that," Beckett said as he rolled off the ground and stood. His clothing was chaotic and his shirt was ripped and small scrapes covered his skin. Emmeline knew she wasn't fairing any better.

" What do you mean?" she asked as he started walking towards the school.

" I'm leading a team to study dragons across the globe. We're starting this summer and I'd be the luckiest man ever if you would take my offer to agree to a position on this team," Beckett explained.

Emmeline's head spun as she trudged after him. Her fingers were still tightly around the fang and she realized that just like taking his offer she couldn't keep the fang if he wanted the venom.

Adam wouldn't let her study dragons. He'd never sleep a night while she could be possibly scorched alive.

But she wanted to take it. Emmeline liked this adrenaline. It was different than being on a battlefield. On a battlefield the adventure was weighed down by the war. But on adventures like this one, they got to choose their own thrills- nothing pulled them down.

Beckett stopped on the side of the school near the Quidditch Pitch and turned to her. " Look you don't need to give me an answer now. I did my research and I know you've applied to the Daily Prophet and you've got a life here. Taking my offer means leaving your life behind for a year. You're young enough to have options, I'm just giving you another one," Beckett clarified.

" It's not that I wouldn't consider your offer, it's just that there's a war here and someone has to fight it," Emmeline explained.

" By working for the Daily Prophet?" Beckett asked with a raised eyebrow. Emmeline bit her lip and glared at him.

" Someone's got to write the obituaries," she muttered. His face was blank before he let out a roar of laughter.

" You're pulling my leg!" he said between laughs. " There's no way someone like you would sit behind a bloody desk and write up deaths."

" Why not? It's a perfectly respectably position," Emmeline argued.

" For a normal witch maybe, but you're not normal Vance. You'll get bored. You got bored of your boyfriend and you're bored with Hogwarts. We're the same- we're meant to be bigger than just getting a job and living a mundane life," Beckett protested.

" Look I had fun today but I can't take your offer. I have a life here," Emmeline exclaimed.

Beckett scoffed and crossed his arms. " Yeah a girl with a dead family has something to live for."

" How do you know about my family?" Emmeline demanded.

" The fight at their funeral is pretty legendary. Look my offer stands until the summer. Just know you've got another option besides writing how someone's great aunt died," Beckett sighed.

" Here," Emmeline said handing him the fang. " I can't exactly walk into the castle carrying this," she offered with a rueful expression.

" I've got no use for that- I'm not the one who slayed it," Beckett protested.

" Neither am I," Emmeline called. Beckett grinned and his teeth could blind her. The moonlight hit his eyes and made them seem positively hellish.

" Give the venom to your potions teacher and ask him to stuff the fang for you. You'll want that as a reminder of adventure when you're writing obituaries," Beckett answered.

Before Emmeline could speak, his lips were on hers. The kiss only lasted a minute before he pulled away and grinned at her.

" Sorry I just had to do that. I made a bet with myself," he explained.

" Did you win?" Emmeline asked in a breathless tone.

Instead of answering her, he began walking towards the gate to the castle. " That's a story for another day Acromantula Slayer," he said as he disappeared into the distance.

Emmeline clutched the fang to her body and felt her head settle. She felt happy- happier than she'd been in so long. Because this time it wasn't Adam forcing her to be happy. And this time she'd managed to do something dangerous without being pulled away.

Emmeline decided that she liked dangerous.

* * *

James didn't understand how Lily's bloody cat adored Remus and Sirius when they were both dogs. He glared at Remus who was stroking Bambi's stomach as he read from their Charms homework.

" He's not that bad," Remus offered. James growled and ran a hand through his hair.

" That cat is evil- it tried to suffocate me in my sleep," James protested. Remus snorted and let Bambi go. The kitten scurried over to James and scratched at his bedpost.

" Bambi fell asleep on you. He's actually rather fond of you," Remus answered as he shut his textbook. James stopped playing with his snitch and flung it towards the cat. He waited for it to let out a sharp wail but it never came. James frowned and looked over his bed to see it playing with the snitch.

" See he's perfect for you," Sirius drawled from his bed. James's lips twitched and he sighed.

" Fine but the cat's getting a new name. There's no way I'll have a cat that's named for a bloody fawn," James declared. He took the snitch from the cat and twirled it in his hands.

" Snitch seems fitting," he noted with a soft smile. The cat walked between his legs and James leaned down to scratch its ear. He could feel it purr against his hand.

" Let's go to Charms before James replaces us with that cat," Sirius said as he stood. James stepped out of the cat's way and followed Sirius and Remus to their charms classroom. As they were working on a set of notes, James spent the period studying the Marauder's Map.

He frowned and looked around the room spotting two missing people, Gastor and Marlene. James idly ran his finger along the map and frowned when he saw that the pair was together in a classroom on the sixth floor with Emmeline Vance.

" Padfoot," he hissed. Sirius looked up from his notes with Remus regarding a prank they were going to play on the fifth year Gryffindors.

" Prongsie my boy," Sirius answered as he leaned back in his chair. James cleared his throat before shoving the map in his direction.

" I thought you should see this," he said. And that was all that was needed.

Jason and Sirius arrived at Quidditch practice, both bloodied and Dolohov told James about the fight the pair got into.

" McKinnon showed up and nearly hexed both of them right then and there," Dolohov said with a simper. " Grabbed Vance and his sister, both hexed him and their spells gave him awful boils you know. Then both Blacks showed up and it was as if the world had ended. Slytherin's lost about fifty points because Sirius accidently hit Vance with a throwback jinx but McKinnon started muggle dueling. Really missed out Potter."

" Take a lap," he ordered the pair before continuing his own around the pitch. His pitch, James wanted to inform them. The pitch that he reserved for two hours just for his team, and two players were late; James narrowed his eyes as he finished his run.

He could see Gryffindors in the stand and turned to start running through exercises with the other members of the team. But Sirius wasn't paying attention and managed to miss a bludger, which hit James right in the gut. Right where Remus had ripped open his skin a few weeks ago.

" Bloody Agrippa," he shouted as he lost control and fell a good seven feet from the air. James groaned into the snow that covered the pitch and looked up to glare at his team.

" Pathetic work today. Next time we practice show up ready to actual play some Quidditch. Flint take over while I go to the hospital wing," James managed to bark.

He didn't make it to the hospital wing before Lily appeared. He was walking up to the castle when her fingers stopped him.

" Let me take a look," she ordered. James froze and felt his blood chill as her fingers lifted his robes and danced across his bare abdomen. Her nose wrinkled and she looked up to his eyes with a sad look.

" That must have hurt," she offered solemnly before letting go and running away. James raised his arm feebly and closed his eyes. He managed to stumble to the hospital wing and get enough pain relief potions to fall into the past.

_ He didn't mean to wake Lily but there was the matter of her already being awake. James groaned as he entered his bedroom and bumped into Lily's form. Her emerald eyes were red with exhaustion as she looked up through heavy lashes and James's hands reached for her waist. _

_ " I thought you were going to be out all night," Lily muttered stiffly. His jaw locked and James looked down his nose at her tired expression. _

_ " Plans change."_

_ His blood fell onto Lily's wrist and she looked at it before reaching for his shirt. A hiss broke out of James's mouth when her finger scraped the wound bleeding under his shirt. _

_ " What happened?" Lily asked in a breathless tone. Her face lost color as she pulled the shirt up and stared at his wound. Her index finger trailed along its edge and James pulled back in pain. _

_ " Nothing you need to know," James answered in a strained tone. Lily scoffed and for once she was the one that seemed threatening. _

_ " I'm going to heal it and you're going to sit still," Lily declared with an upturn to her chin. James's lips twitched as she pulled him with her into his restroom. She seemed completely unaware of the dirt his cloak smudged onto her nose. _

_ Lily stopped near the bath and pushed James onto the rim before pealing his cloak off and carefully unbuttoning his shirt. _

_ " Always knew you'd take advantage of me Christmas," James said with a smirk. Lily looked up from her crouching position on the floor with a dry expression. Her eyes were streaked with red storms and James wanted to know what made her cry. _

_ When his shirt was off, Lily's face turned slightly green and she turned away quickly to walk over to his bedroom. James watched her and wondered why she was helping him; after all she did think that he had just been on a Death Eater raid. _

_ She returned carrying a box and a white towel drenched in water. Pale fingers reached into the box and handed James a small vial. _

_ " Pepper up potion," Lily said before he could speak. Her wand was at his abdomen while James drained the potion. He could feel the buzz leave his ears. Changing into a stag always made him feel rather rough. _

_ " Terego." Lily murmured. She seemed satisfied enough to look at the wound. James jumped back as her wand probed his gut. _

_ " Trying to kill me?" he muffled darkly. Lily looked up with an exasperated expression and pulled him back. Her eyes froze at his skin and she cursed before falling back. There was something close to terror in her emerald green lenses as she stared at him. _

_ " A spell didn't make that- James that's a werewolf scratch." _

_ His mouth fell slightly and Lily stood in hurried movements. James cursed mentally; of course she'd know what a werewolf wound looked like. _

_ " Let me explain," he finally implored. Lily looked at his arm and he knew she was looking at the dark mark this time. _

_ " You're not a werewolf but we both know someone else who is one," Lily stated firmly. " Why were you with Lupin on a buggering full moon?" _

_ " How do you know about Remus?" _

_ " It's how Jason knew too- we've got built in werewolf radar. Which one of you lot found out first?" Lily demanded. This made James's mind pause; Jason was the one who figured it out first. He only pointed it out to James that Remus seemed to attend his grandmum's funeral five times. _

_ " Jason did," James admitted. Lily's eyes fell to his abdomen and she sighed before meeting his eyes. _

_ " Let me finish that but we're going to finish this conversation," she ordered. James was surprised to see her healing. If he was meant to be on a battlefield then Lily was born to heal. There was something to her spells that felt different from when Sirius and himself did them to themselves and Jason. Her spells seemed to scream perfection. _

_ " How do you know these spells?" he asked as she performed a perfect internal damage checking charm. Lily reached up and brushed a lock of her hair back. _

_ " Selena was obsessed with healing. I flipped through her books sometimes." _

_ James scoffed at this. " You're good." _

_ " Well if I wasn't I would've dragged you to Mungos." _

_ " So you think I don't know how to heal my own wounds?" _

_ Lily stood and looked down at him with a frown. " I'm presuming that this must happen often then." _

_ " Every full moon." _

_ " If this happens every full moon then why aren't you a werewolf?" she asked. James looked in the mirror opposite to them- his gaping gut was left with a quickly fading pink line. _

_ " Secrets are more fun when they're secrets," James answered. Lily frowned and crossed her arms. _

_ " Well I think I'm entitled to this one, especially if Black and Jason are also following Lupin into the bloody great beyond," Lily answered with a snarky tone. _

_ James ran a hand through his hair and wrung his bloodied cloak and shirt into a tight ball before throwing them into the hamper. _

_ " Maybe it's just me," James argued. Lily snorted before blocking his way and twirled her wand with a menacing expression. _

_ " If there's one thing I know, it's that the Marauders do things together. So you can either tell me now or I'll figure it out on my own. But I think both of us know what my way of figuring things out is," Lily threatened. _

_ James felt bile in his throat at the thought of Lily anywhere near Remus in his wolf form. Her thin arms and large eyes would be nothing but a snack for Remus. " Fine but I'm doing this because it's inevitable that you'll find out," James answered. _

_ Lily's eyes twinkled as he pulled her forward and down the hall. " I said not to get me lost in your house." _

_ " It's more of a thing that should be shown than said."_

* * *

Alice Prewitt liked to think that people were simple enough. They wanted to be stable- but a war did not make people stable. A war made her friends die and break apart. A war made Frank forget Valentine's day.

She woke on Valentine's Day expecting presents to line her bed or roses to fall from her ceiling of her dorm. But none did. Instead when Alice woke, she met the sight of her unusually clean bedroom and a snow-coated world.

The door opened and Frank stepped in. " Why are you still in bed? We're supposed to meet Professor Black today," he explained before shutting her door. Alice could hear him walking down the stairs.

She sat up and huffed before pouting and looking at her ringless finger. Frank has all day to propose, she thought to herself. After dressing quickly and carefully, Alice went downstairs to see Frank and Adam speaking in low voices.

" Are you sure?" Adam asked in a dark voice. Frank nodded and crossed his arms.

" Diggory saw them when he was leaving Quidditch Practice. Said he could only tell it was Em because of her hair," Frank answered.

" What are you two talking about?" Alice asked in a curious tone. Frank looked panicked that she caught them but Adam quickly recovered.

" Emmeline was kissing someone else," he explained. Alice gasped and nearly dropped her bag. Emmeline Vance, although guarded and moody, would never cheat on her boyfriend. Sure she and Adam were in a fight but Emmeline had class.

" I think you need to talk to her," Alice said as she glanced at Frank. He stood and clasped Adam's shoulder.

" She's just going through some stuff- I think Lily's death hit her pretty hard. Marlene told me that Emmeline was in Diagon Alley the day Lily died," Frank offered. Adam nodded but his eyes were still filled with pain.

" It's Emmeline we're talking about; don't worry. I'm sure she's just getting some pre-wedding jitters early," Alice said with a bright smile. Adam nodded and they went their separate ways.

Alice walked alongside Frank to the Headmaster's Office. It had rejected Abraxas Malfoy but accepted Alphard Black strangely enough.

" It's a shame that Emmeline's getting doubts," Alice sighed. Frank looked her way and scoffed.

" It's not like she has much of a choice in this matter," he said evenly.

" If she didn't want to be with Adam then Adam would never force her," Alice protested.

" But it's not up to him is it?" Frank asked. Alice looked down and wondered if he was going to remember the date anytime soon. Maybe a romantic surprise in the Great Hall, she thought.

" Slytherin," Frank said as the griffin statue in front of the Headmaster's office opened. Alice followed him up the stairs and fought the urge to yawn. Her Order missions were taking more and more time.

" Ah my two Head Students thank you for coming," Alphard Black said from behind his desk. Alice smiled lightly and took one of the seats in front of the desk. She hadn't been terribly keen on the idea of another Black in the castle but Alphard Black had been disowned and disgraced, as he did not take the same views as his family.

"Sorry but I have to meet with the Board of governors in an hour so I will be quick. Around this time of year, each professor is allowed to nominate candidates for the position of Head Girl and Boy. Ultimately the decision is up to the Headmaster. Professor McGonagall informed me that Professor Dumbledore took the counsel of previous Head Students in choosing the next pair. I was wondering if you two had any recommendations?" Professor Black asked.

Eliza Rosier had informed Alice of this. Up until December, Alice had thought that the only suitable girl for Head Girl could be Lily. But Lily was dead, she thought glumly. The other options weren't great in her mind.

" We haven't had much time to think about this," Frank started. He glanced at Alice before speaking. " Could we get back to you within a month?" he asked. Professor Black nodded and glanced at the clock.

" Of course, but I will inform you that the current candidates lack a certain amount of diversity. I'm hoping you offer me some better options," he said.

Alice mulled over the idea of a sixth year being Head Girl. She couldn't see Marlene filling in the position- Marlene wasn't the type to be willing to patrol for an hour every night.

" Any thoughts on what Black said?" she asked Frank. He shoved his hands into his pocket as he walked with her to the Great Hall.

" Diggory maybe for Head Boy. Maybe Michelson for Head Girl."

" Diggory always gets a fifth year to do his patrols and Michelson will probably start an orgy in the Heads dorms," Alice argued.

" Michael then," Frank proposed.

" Yeah and I'm sure all of the Prefects would listen to him. Mulciber's being held back a year. If he's got any influence he'll make sure no one listens to Michael."

" One of them has to be pureblood- otherwise the Slytherins will run rampant," Frank started.

" Honestly, I always thought it would be Dorcas and Jason for Heads. But it's strange that one's dead and the other refuses to be prefect," Alice said with a soft laugh.

" Davies?" Frank asked completely ignoring her statement.

" Can barely handle Quidditch Captaincy- I doubt he could balance it with Head Boy too," Alice retorted.

" Christopher Chang," Frank offered.

" More of a follower if anything. Pandora Stronach?" Alice asked.

" She'll probably see one of those bloody nargles she's always ranting about and send the prefects hunting for them," Frank scoffed.

As they entered the Great Hall, Alice could see Emmeline doing homework with Amelia Bones and pursed her lips. Emmeline was supposed to be her friend. Her eyes drew to the crowd at the Slytherin table.

" Remus Lupin," she proposed. Frank shook his head but stopped next to her. His eyes were on a figure near Remus's.

" Sirius Black," He declared with a smile. Alice stared at him ready to pull out a protest but couldn't find one. Sirius was a leader and he did seem able to handle balancing his work and pranks. Alice didn't want to think about his personal life. She watched as Marlene's fingers entwined with Sirius's as they stood.

" Marlene's okay right?" she asked. Frank shrugged and began walking towards Gryffindor.

" She looks fine enough," he answered. But Alice had her doubts. After all Marlene did tell her that Black would take full advantage of the compulsion charms. Alice just wanted to have a little more faith in people.

When she was leaving Charms with Fabian and Frank, the sixth years were entering. Alice had a bad feeling and stopped walking right as a punch sounded through the hallway.

" You're sick," Michael spat as he glared at Sirius Black. Alice moved to break up the fight but Frank held her back.

" Ah are you upset that mommy and daddy are dead?" Sirius asked with a vicious grin.

" Don't bring them up Black! You're treating Marlene like trash- if you actually loved her then you wouldn't do this," Michael exclaimed.

" Do what?" Sirius asked as he pulled his wand out.

" Abuse her mind. She's not your toy Black- she's my friend," Michael shouted. Alice could see his face turning red while Sirius was able to keep his composition.

" You're just bitter because you've got nothing. It's not my fault that you're useless," Sirius taunted. Michael stopped moving and took his wand out. Alice moved out of Frank's grip to stop the first spell but someone else beat her to the punch.

" Stop, both of you stop," a voice ordered. The crowd parted slightly as James Potter stepped through the group. He stood between Sirius and Michael. For as long as Alice had been breaking up fights, Potter would have chosen to get one of the Marauders' backs instead of doing what was right. He chose to fight and Alice had no idea he could excel in diplomacy.

" We've got class and I'd really like to go one bloody day without a duel in the corridor. Padfoot stop bringing McKinnon to every single meal- she's got a life you know," James advised.

He looked sick, Alice concluded. There were terrible shadows under his eyes and she remembered with her gut clenching that Lily wasn't a muggleborn. She was once a pureblood who James Potter was in love with. Lily was why the Marauders were broken- her death could have been right on James's face from the dark look he held.

" Go to class," he ordered the crowd. " Wood stay a minute."

" I'm going to stay and make sure there's not a duel. Go to class," she told Frank and Fabian. They nodded but Frank exchanged a look with her- maybe they had found a candidate for Head Boy after all.

Alice stood near the end of the hall and Michael stood across from Potter with a clenched jaw.

" It sucks doesn't it," James started.

" She's dead Potter and she chose you so of course it hurts," Michael answered.

" You weren't in love with her... You fell in love with the idea of Lily," James said with a dark look.

Michael looked towards the window and Alice watched his fists whiten. He was hiding how broken he was under those parties with the Ravenclaws. He was hiding his heartache under flings with every girl above fourth year.

" I get that you and Sirius don't get along- but he cannot afford to be sent to the Headmaster's office for fighting. His uncle and him don't get along," James continued.

" He's using Marlene," Michel exclaimed.

" Have you ever considered that maybe Marlene wanted this? Lily was her best friend Wood. She lost a lot of people in Gryffindor," James justified.

" She wouldn't leave me," Michael argued.

" I don't like McKinnon but she is a good person. I think she kept other people in front of herself for too long. She loved you lot because you needed somebody to love and accept you. But I don't think any of you bothered to ever put her first. For every single one of you there was someone more important."

" Sirius wouldn't put her in front of the Marauders," Michael retorted. James nodded and a light smirk graced his features.

" But she knows that. She knows that Sirius won't put her in front of us. And that gives her stability. She's learning how to live without having to trust people who keep letting her down," James explained.

" I bet you'd know a lot about that," Michael scoffed.

" My best friend betrayed me Wood- Jason did something unforgivable so I know what it's like to have someone let you down," James said with a dark note.

" What did he do?" Michael asked.

" We've got class Wood," James answered averting Michael's questioning eyes. Alice waited until both of them were inside of their classroom before sighing and leaning against the frame of the wall.

Something was off. James wasn't acting like Michael. Michael was mourning but James wasn't. He was acting betrayed and Alice knew he was. But she had seen him and Lily together. There was no other word for what they had except for love.

They had the type of love that made her heart ache to know that Frank loved her like that, even if he could be slightly forgetful.

Alice trudged into the Heads Dorm ready for a long bath. She spent the afternoon doing homework, studying for NEWTS, and settling a fight between the third year Hufflepuffs.

She hadn't expected roses to fall on her when she entered the common room to her and Frank's dorm. She hadn't expected Frank to be standing in the middle of the room wearing a set of new robes and with a small box in his hands.

He looked into her eyes and Alice's legs felt like they were going to collapse under her as he walked to her.

" Frank what is all of this?" she asked in a breathless tone.

" It's me keeping you on your toes Allie. Come on did you really think I'd forget the day you agreed to go out with me?" Frank asked with a smile. Alice hadn't seen him smile in a very long time. He took one of her hands and knelt to the ground.

" Alice Gwendolyn Prewitt will please you do me the honor of being my wife?" Frank asked in a deep tone. There was a moment of silence and Alice admired how the shadows of the flames seemed to dance around Frank's strong features.

"Well because you said please," she declared with a smile as Frank stood and met her gaze with a goofy grin. Alice pulled him down by his tie and met his lips before smiling against them. Frank slipped the ring front the box on her ring finger and Alice laughed as they broke their kiss.

" Practiced that?" she inquired.

" I paid Adam five galleons to rehearse it with me," Frank answered with a glow to his rich eyes. Alice's heart ached because the first person she wanted to share this with wouldn't be willing to hear her out. If she knew that people wanted nothing more than to be stable then Alice should have been the happiest girl in the world. But without her best friend there to tell, Alice decided that she wasn't actually happy.

It had been much too long since she'd seen Emmeline's eyes pull up into a sincere smile.

* * *

Michael stood at the Quidditch Pitch in a snowstorm on midnight. He never noticed how if one stood in the middle of the pitch, the world seemed terrifyingly huge.

" I thought you weren't going to come," Jason said as he came out of the Slytherin side of the pitch carrying two brooms. He threw one towards Michael who caught it with nimble fingers.

" It's this or shagging Melissa Stevies," Michael answered with a smirk. Jason grinned and placed a hand on his heart.

" I didn't know you cared about me that much," he answered in a drawl.

" I don't- Stevies wanted to shag me to get Davenport jealous. I'm not terribly interested in being used," Michael revealed.

" So are you up for this? I must admit that greater wizards haven't been able to do it," Jason said after they both strapped their gear on.

" Broomsurfing? I doubt anyone's ever been able to do this," Michael responded.

Jason grinned and stood with one leg on either side of his broom before flying up to the middle of the pitch. Michael followed him up and sat up as snow flurries clung to both of them. Jason's hair was filled with snowflakes as he swung one leg over the broom and crouched on it.

" If you die I'll be sure to say you did it for the good of the Wizarding World," Michael said with a laugh. Jason bit his lip as he got both feet on the broom. It began to sink and Michael sat forward on his own broom.

" Give it second," Jason insisted as he slowly stood. Against all odds, the broom started to right itself and he stood on a broom. Michael gaped at him and Jason swallowed as he looked down.

" This is the greatest thing I've ever done," he shouted as he leaned it forward and it moved beneath it. Michael watched as he was able to fly around the Pitch standing on the broom.

" Going to join me Wood? Or are you too chicken?" Jason asked with a laugh. Michael grunted and copied his movements. This should have been impossible. But then again he'd never seen anybody try to surf on his or her broomstick.

" I'm riding the snow!" Jason shouted as he flew and leaned his broom down. Michael was finally standing on his own broom and it clicked under him into a straight line.

" All you've got to do is push it," Jason said as he flew to Michael. Crossing his fingers, Michael tilted the broom with his shoes and let out a sound of surprise as it began to fly under him.

" Woo!" he shouted as it picked up speed and he was able to control it with a simple movement of his leg. Snow pelted into his eyes and tears came form the icy flakes.

Jason raised his hand into the air and dove low to the bottom of the pitch, Michael followed after him and Jason moved his broom to the left.

" Are you mad?" Michael asked as they flew through the stands. Jason grinned and let out a peal of victorious laughter. It was the kind of laughter that Michael had no idea would haunt him. But it was the type of laughter that was contagious.

" We're all a little mad."

Michael let out a noise of surprise when Jason's hand tugged on his sleeve and Jason pointed towards the hoops.

" I bet I can make it through the middle one," he said with a dauntless tone.

" You're absolutely insane," Michael answered as he followed Jason to the hoops.

He stopped as Jason sped up and led his broom on a low dive into the middle one. Jason could see his hair skim the top of the hoop.

" I told you I could do it," Jason said as he looped around back to Michael.

" I never said you couldn't," Michael answered with a wide grin. Jason sighed and leaned down to sit on his broom. Michael remained standing on it and Jason brushed his hair out of his eyes.

" James and Sirius thought I was bloody insane for wanting to do this- they refused to do it with me," Jason explained.

" Well we're lucky this actually does work. I think my team would kill me if I broke my neck Broomsurfing," Michael replied as he followed Jason's steps to sitting again.

His head spun as he caught his breath and he looked up to the sky. The stars seemed to blind and Jason pointed to one.

" That's Ursa Minor and right on its end is," Jason started.

" The North Star," Michael breathed. Jason shot him a surprised look and he shrugged.

" I only dropped out of Astronomy because I lost sleeping time," Michael revealed.

" I'm still in it," Jason said with a laugh.

" That sounds like actual torture," Michael insisted.

" Professor Sinistra doesn't actually teach anything- it's an independent study," Jason explained. " One that anyone who's applying to the Department of Mysteries needs."

Michael stared at him in surprise; he always considered Jason Gastor to go into the Quidditch League after Hogwarts. Jason caught his look and buttoned his cloak up further.

" They've got a space room in there with a model of the Solar System. Why else would I suffer through another year of Transfiguration? I hate the class," Jason said with a laugh.

" But you're mates are brilliant at it," Michael pointed out.

" Sirius and James are. I'm barely scraping by; actually I'm failing now that they're not there to help me," Jason revealed.

Michael frowned and looked up to the star-streaked sky. Lily was up there now with his parents and hers and Benjy Fenwick and Dorcas Meadows . She'd want him to do some good. She'd probably be ashamed of him for not doing anything good in a very long time.

Michael supposed that Lily's death made him want to hold onto whatever innocence he had left. But maybe he was just holding onto dust.

" I'll help you," he said in a low tone. Michael was still looking at the sky when he finished. " I'll make sure you pass Transfiguration this year," he vowed. But Michael wasn't making that promise to himself or to Jason. He was making it to Lily. Because Michael was more than sure that Lily was up there- she was his North Star and she was going to guide him into adulthood.

* * *

Lily emptied a bottle of ashes out into the sea with a tired expression on her face. That night she would have to do the second part of her mission and Lily knew she couldn't do it on her own.

It took her a month to trek through the Alps and across Greece to get to Athens. She did make a visit to Selena but had to leave as Selena had classes. There was a ring on her sister's finger but sorrow in her eyes. Lily didn't think it was fair for her to ask for an explanation. Going through all of this, she felt like hell had eaten her alive.

Galen wasn't here and she just wanted to be home. Her clothing was dirty and people were staring at her. She wanted her long hair back. But she was stuck with this short mess of curls and tanning skin. She wanted James but Lily was alone.

" Selena said you'd be here," a voice declared from behind her. Turning, Lily had her wand at someone's throat and it fell to the ground when she saw who it was.

" You look like hell," Cassius muttered as he surveyed her. Lily let out a bark of laughter and raised her eyebrow at her brother's gaunt frame and the bandages around his limbs.

" Touché. Aren't you on the run from the Death Eaters?" Lily asked. Cassius sat on the dock and tapped the spot next to him. Lily begrudgingly took the seat and fought the urge not to place her head on his shoulder and never wake up again.

" I'm here to help you- you can't do this alone," Cassius explained.

" How do you know what I'm doing?" Lily demanded. Cassius looked to his left and smiled.

" Julius."

That was enough for Lily to trust him. But she made a promise to figure out why he was on the run in the first place.

" We're doing this tonight," Lily said as she stood.

" After that?" Cassius asked. Lily smiled darkly and looked out over the expanse of the sea.

" Well if I'm still alive then we're going to find a club and drink. If I'm dead you can take what's left of me to James."

* * *

On the last day of February, Jason stood across from Emmeline Vance in an abandoned room in the dungeons. He could see that she'd changed. Something was different about how she walked. Before she used to gravitate to Adam McKinnon now she was walking on her own; and the world seemed to gravitate towards her.

" She's got 27 days to come back," Vance declared as she looked at the paper in her hands.

" Lily promised," Jason answered. Emmeline looked up and her ice grey eyes seemed to gleam as she met his. They called her a queen for a reason; Emmeline Vance was regal.

" She's in Greece," Jason started. Emmeline held her hand up and glanced towards the door. There was something different in her eyes when she met his.

" Before we talk about Lily, I need to know something," Emmeline started. She looked almost in pain when she tugged one of her dark caramel curls and met Jason's eyes.

" Did Pericles kill Rick?"

Jason met her gaze evenly and let his fingers land on one of the dusty desks behind him.

" Yes," he answered in a weary tone. He thought that he and Emmeline were getting somewhere. Not friendly- but at least on neutral ground.

" Okay," Emmeline said quietly. Jason watched her and she met his gaze with wide eyes.

" Your brothers' actions aren't yours you know," Emmeline started. " I'm not going to blame you for what Pericles did."

She started to walk to the southern wall where the surface was covered in thick dusted books.

" Did you ever think that Lily chose to not be a Gastor because she didn't want people to blame her for what you lot did? When I first found out who she really was, the only logical reason seemed to be that. Imagine if Regulus or Sirius Black were to be in Gryffindor? No one would trust them- they'd be completely alone."

Mulling this over, Jason struggled to press down his guilt and nodded. " I always thought she was ashamed of what we became," he revealed.

Emmeline turned from the dusty books and shrugged. " I think she doesn't even know why she did what she did. But I'm hoping she'll come back to explain this," she said in a thoughtful tone.

" I'm sorry that Rick's dead," Jason said suddenly. And he really was; for once in his life he could understand why Emmeline Vance was so cold and uptight. She lost a lot and did her best to not let other people get to her. But she was broken under all of the ice and snow that was covering her heart. She was so broken that Jason was strangely reminded of Lily in that moment.

" You don't need to be sorry that he's dead. I don't think I'm sorry that my brother died. I'm proud that he died fighting for what he believed in," Emmeline corrected.

Jason froze and felt his heart let out a painful ache- he didn't know what he was fighting for anymore. He used to fight for his family but they were gone. He used to fight for the Marauders but they weren't going to forgive him anytime soon.

" Do you know what you're fighting for?" he asked Emmeline. Her fingers clenched around a spine of a book and she met his gaze with a thoughtful expression.

" I used to but I think I'm really just figuring it all out now."

There was a sickening twist of truth to Emmeline's words and Jason felt regret for the first time in his life. He felt regret for that very first kill and he felt regret for letting the Dark Lord put the Dark Mark on his arm. But there was no way he could take any of it back without ending up like Cassius- on the run.

" You're young," Emmeline lightly stated with a soft smile. " You've got all the time in the world to figure out what you're fighting for."

" But it's too late for me isn't it?" Jason asked as he pulled his sleeve up and showed Emmeline the tattoo on his arm. Her expression didn't even falter and Jason was surprised to find her arms suddenly around his shoulders.

" That's not you're fault- you didn't choose it," she protested. Jason shook his head and felt tears in his eyes as he let Emmeline Vance hold him. There was something motherly to her embrace- something that reminded him of his mum holding him when he got a cut or fell from his broom when he was a boy.

" But I can't take back the killing; I can't take back what I am."

" There's always time to change Jason," Emmeline declared. It was the first time she'd ever addressed him by his first name. Jason knew in that moment that Emmeline Vance was going to change his life.

" Lily didn't know about Julius did she?" Emmeline asked.

" How do you know about him?" Jason demanded.

" Your mum told me- she told me a lot more than she should have," Emmeline responded.

" Julius knew it wasn't too late to change- he didn't die in vain. He died fighting for the right thing," Emmeline protested.

" Cassius is on the run for abandoning the Death Eaters. I can't just up and join Dumbledore's bloody army," Jason scoffed. Emmeline's lips pulled up and she let go of him with a victorious expression on her face.

"We prefer the Order," Emmeline said. This was the first time she tried to recruit someone and she knew the entire Order would hate her for it. But history would not.

" And we're going to save the world," Emmeline said with a complete tone of utter devotion. Jason could see that she meant it- she was going to fight until she died or until they won. Her side of the war was filled with a spark. His side was filled with sadistic people who were burning the world with no care for who was hurt.

Lily was right; she usually was right. He fought a war his entire life fighting for the wrong side. But now Jason could have the chance to find out what was worth fighting for. He could finally find out who was good and who was bad.

" Help me," he said. "Guide me Emmeline- show me what's left to fight for," Jason asked in a low tone.

" I'd be honored Jason," Emmeline answered with a soft smile. They smiled at each other for a moment and Jason painted a picture in his head. He could save the world with Emmeline Vance and Michael Wood- they knew what they were fighting for and he did realize that a lot of people did not know what they were fighting for.

* * *

**I'm on a bit of a writing spree and managed to get this out rather quickly with the help of my beta and the reviews the past chapter received. ****Plot mapping stretches far enough for me to know just enough to say that James and Lily will have an encounter in the following Chapter, which I'm hoping to get out soon.**

**My offer still stands from the previous chapter; anyone who reviews will be sent a sneak peak of the next chapter.**

**Other than that, I'm crossing my fingers for this one. **

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	22. The Anatomy of a Mistake

**Chapter 22 The Anatomy of a Mistake**

**(I Will Survive)**

* * *

It started in the Great Hall.

A lot of things start in the Great Hall; sorting, memories, friends...

A friendship started in the Great Hall- A friendship died in the Great Hall.

Emmeline Vance liked to think that her friendships grew. She liked to think a lot of stuff.

Lily Evans liked to think that her friends held pieces of her heart. Her heart was a map of the world.

Jason Gastor had a hard time making friends and Michael Wood had an even harder time trusting his.

Heart broke in the Great Hall and hearts mended there.

In his seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, James Potter would do something unspeakable in the Great Hall.

Emmeline Vance liked to think that she'd miss Hogwarts for its cinnamon scones. She missed it for the boy she lost.

Lily Evans liked to looked past the colors and rivalries to see the souls of the Great Hall.

James Potter liked to think that the colors and rivalries were a part of the souls of the Great Hall.

Marlene McKinnon flashed the Great Hall in September 1977. Christopher Chang sold pictures of said flash in October 1977.

Marlene McKinnon broke Christopher Change's nose in the October of 1977.

Remus Lupin liked to come to the Great Hall the night of the new moon- it was the night his friends were least likely to miss him.

James Potter liked to drink in the Great Hall... No one really knew that his swagger into Potions for the entire month of January 1977 was a drunken stumble.

Jason Gastor liked to think that he could see his family in the Great Hall; scattered but united.

Sirius Black knew that he could see his family in the Great Hall.

One time Lily Gastor made a wish in the Great Hall, but that wouldn't be for a very very long time.

It started in the Great Hall; a friendship that would grow faster than marigolds.

It started with two Gryffindors and one Slytherin.

" I do."

* * *

Emmeline hadn't known that the Marauders would sink this low but they did. She didn't know why she hoped more from them; maybe the world needed to grow up but for Emmeline it came down to the change in her relationship with Jason Gastor.

She didn't like him. After Adam's betrayal Emmeline decided she was better off without letting men control her. But Jason felt like Rick- helpless to a war and bound to fight it. Emmeline would be damned to not help him.

So when she walked into the Great Hall on the first morning of March, Emmeline instinctively made a decision that could ruin everything. She brought Jason down to the Great Hall and planned to make him sit there for one entire meal.

" Emmeline this isn't a good idea," Jason muttered under his breath. His hand tugged on his tie and Emmeline squeezed his shoulder. She was almost even with his height. Her curls made up for the height difference between herself and him.

" James Potter doesn't rule this school."

Jason laughed hoarsely and swallowed. " No but he leads it," he said in a shaking tone.

" You used to- it's time to fight back," Emmeline replied with a stern expression. Jason met her gaze and sighed.

" If I'm killed you get to tell Lily," he finally grumbled. A soft smile graced Emmeline's features and she began walking. Jason's strides were longer than his but he made them shorter for her.

They stood in the doorway to the Great Hall. Emmeline began walking towards the Hufflepuff table but Jason refused to move. She looked at him and saw his face in a tight expression as he looked at something across the hall. Following his path of sight, Emmeline could see James Potter watching them with an enraged expression.

" Turn around," he said in a low tone. James Potter may have had the school fooled but Emmeline knew that behind that voice and those smirks he was broken. She'd witnessed him fall apart after Lily's betrayal. Hogwarts could pretend it never happened but Emmeline had seen James Potter realize that someone broke his heart; she had seen him get what he deserved after years of treating people like garbage.

Jason clenched his jaw and Emmeline waited for him to speak. She met his gaze and he swallowed before facing James.

" I don't think so," he said loud enough for James to hear. Jason was the one to start walking and he pulled Emmeline towards the Hufflepuff table where the Gobstone Club sat.

Emmeline yelped as a spell shot their way and Jason quickly shoved her back. He hit the spell with a shield charm and looked up to meet James's eyes.

" I thought I made myself clear; you're not wanted Gastor," James hissed.

" I don't regret what I did and you can't make me," Jason answered. James laughed and stood. There was silence in the Great Hall but Emmeline could hear a buzz. People knew that Jason got in the way of James Potter falling in love and they seemed to make it into table talk.

" Does anyone think that Jason Gastor deserves to sit with us?" James asked loud enough for his voice to project over the Great Hall. Emmeline pursed her lips and glanced towards the Gryffindors. Adam was watching her with his lips pulled into a sneer and his eyes filled with rage. A warm hand found its way around Emmeline's.

" I do," Emmeline said loud enough for James to hear. He glanced her way and a smirk landed on his face.

" If you're shagging him then it doesn't count," James answered. Emmeline's wand was out before she could speak and she began shaking with rage.

" Unlike you I can talk to the opposite sex without thinking about shagging them," Emmeline retorted. James's expression tore into an ugly leer.

" No one really cares what Gryffindor's Ice Bitch thinks," he declared. Emmeline waited for Adam to stand and protest- he cared what she thought. But he never did. James's grin grew and Jason frowned.

" Don't call her that," he spat. Emmeline gave him a warning look and he ignored it. " Emmeline Vance is better than you- she's better than most people in this Hall."

" You don't deserve to be happy," James growled. " You ensured that none of us would ever be happy," he announced with looks to Sirius and Remus.

" Now does anyone else think that he deserves to be in here?" James asked as he looked around the hall. Emmeline squeezed her eyes shut and hoped to Merlin that one of the girls Jason used to shag would say something. But they didn't- someone else did.

" I do," a voice said from the Ravenclaw table. Emmeline opened her eyes and felt her mouth fall open as she watched Michael stand. He brushed Stevies's arm from his shoulder and Davies shot him a warning look.

" You hate him," James scoffed. Michael walked over to where she and Jason stood and clasped an arm around Jason's shoulder.

" I used to," Michael answered. " Whatever happened between you and him has to stay that way- you can't involve every bloody student in your fight."

Emmeline could feel Professor McGonagall watching the scene with a soft smile. Michael Wood, her cousin who lived for the Order, was standing beside one of the worst death eaters out there. The tides had certainly changed.

James's mouth opened and closed for several seconds and Emmeline smirked before pulling Jason down at the end of the Hufflepuff table. Michael sat across from them and she could see Louis and Damien giving her approving smiles before speaking with the other Gobstone club members.

Amelia looked her way and nodded; Emmeline didn't plan on ending those friendships if she had new ones. Never in a million years had she expected to sit with Jason Gastor at the Hufflepuff table. Never in a million years did Emmeline expect for Jason and Michael to start joking about whatever broom surfing was. But it happened and she could feel her stomach ache from laughter as she bit into a cinnamon scone.

* * *

Emmeline wondered if Adam gave his jersey to another girl for this game. She could see the edge of the Quidditch Pitch when she started her walk down to Hagrid's hut. After joining him on a spree of Order missions, Emmeline found Hagrid's presence quite lovely.

As the Gobstone Club preferred to take advantage of the empty common room during Quidditch games, they did not want to join her to watch the game. Michael was playing in this game and Jason had been called up to the Headmaster's office that morning. With no sign of his return, Emmeline decided to visit the groundskeeper for a cup of tea.

She walked through the snow-covered grounds and shivered as wind blew at her form. Snow bit her eyes and Emmeline raised her scarf higher on her face trying to keep her eyes from tearing up.

Speeding up, Emmeline stumbled over one of the stone steps and quickly caught herself before pulling her scarf off and finishing the walk to Hagrid's Hut. She ought to be more careful in this weather but Emmeline didn't want to see the Pitch from the corner of her eye and know that Adam was probably upset that she wasn't wearing his jersey.

She knocked on the door to the dank smelling building and heard loud footsteps come from inside. Although most of her friends weren't terribly friendly with the groundskeeper, Emmeline found his fascination with dangerous beasts as a thirst for adventure. She also did enjoy the mission he'd joined her on in January to scout a dragon colony. Hagrid's beard was left almost half burned off.

The door opened and Emmeline could see a teakettle on his stove from behind him. Hagrid's head nearly hit the top of the doorframe and he grinned at her.

" Emmeline it's been a while! Finally come to have some of me biscuits," Hagrid said before pulling Emmeline in for a tight embrace. Emmeline laughed against his clothing and held her breath; his clothing smelled of something foul.

He released her before glancing into his hut. " I've got a guest right now but I'm sure he wouldn't mind spending tea with you," Hagrid revealed as he led her inside. Emmeline pulled her cloak off and undid her scarf as she met a pair of amber eyes.

" So we meet again Vance- almost as if Fate's trying to say something," Beckett Scamander declared as he stood and walked towards them. Hagrid frowned as Beckett pulled Emmeline into a tight embrace and pressed his lips against her cheek. Flushing, Emmeline drew back and huffed.

" Do you not have a life outside of stalking me?" she demanded. Beckett laughed and threw an arm over her shoulder before leading her towards Hagrid's table.

" Of course not- there's not a creature more fascinating than the rare and elusive Emmeline Vance," he answered with a slick drawl.

" So you two know each other," Hagrid called as he walked in from the small kitchen carrying a plate and kettle.

" Vaguely," Emmeline answered as she stared at the dark clumps Hagrid carried on a plate. He placed the plate down and took one of the clumps and popped it into his mouth.

" Vaguely? I'm hurt Vance. I've been trying to recruit her to join me for my excursion next year Hagrid. I've done everything to remind her- letters, visiting her on weekends, even getting her professors to bring it up. Sadly Emmeline seems set on rejecting me," Beckett stated with a dramatic sigh.

Emmeline scoffed and reached for a biscuit. When Hagrid wasn't looking, Beckett slapped it from her plate and gave her a smile before leaning in.

"You've got something,' he said loud enough for Hagrid to hear. Leaning in, his hot breath hit her ear and Emmeline could feel his fingers pretending to remove a crumb from her face. " Those biscuits will break your lovely jaw."

" So how long do you plan on staying here?" Hagrid asked as he took a sip from his teacup. Emmeline pretended to drink the liquid and Beckett leaned back in his seat.

" Mum wants me to stay and settle down. Find a proper girl, she'll say," Beckett answered with an affectionate tone. " Dad said to let me have one last year to see the world. Mum agreed but threatened to hex my hair off if I didn't bring a girl home for Easter."

" Emmeline, you're staying at the castle right?" Hagrid asked. Emmeline looked up from her tea and nodded. She signed up to stay at the castle right in front of Adam and he didn't even say anything.

" Michael's going to visit an old friend in France and Adam's going with his parents to Ireland. I've got NEWTs to prepare for and Care of Magical Creatures is going to be the death of me," Emmeline revealed.

" Well there's your solution. Emmeline's a splendid girl- five NEWTs and all; she's prefect too. That's bound to impress any mum. Just take her home. And Beckett's entire family is bloody aces at Care of Magical Creatures- spend a day with his lot and you could take that test blindfolded," Hagrid promised with a wide grin.

Emmeline nearly dropped her cup and Beckett beat her to the punch. " Why not? My mum makes quite a feast for Easter and I can help you study. I took the NEWTs and did well enough on all of them," Beckett suggested.

Emmeline had a list of reasons why she shouldn't. Adam would be upset and she couldn't trust herself around Beckett and his rippling muscles and his laughter and his dangerous eyes. Wait! Emmeline slapped herself mentally- she didn't have a crush did she?

" Excuse me but I forgot I promised Adam I'd try and go to the game between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff," she said suddenly. " Thank you for the marvelous tea Hagrid- I'll come back and bring Michael and Jason Gastor some time," she promised.

Before either occupant could protest, Emmeline was out the door and sprinting towards the Pitch. She hurried to its entrance and from the cheers breaking out; Emmeline knew that the game was over.

There was a sea of red and gold out on the pitch and Emmeline could see Adam from where she stood at the entrance. The world seemed to still in a single minute. Emmeline didn't pay attention to Michael and Frank cheering or Fabian and Gideon being raised onto shoulders. She didn't pay attention to Marlene pulling Sirius Black into a victorious embrace or Amos Diggory ripping his gear off in anger.

Emmeline's eyes were on two figures standing in the middle of the crowd snogging. She could see Katie Michelson's fingers knotting into Adam's short hair and Adam's mouth molded against hers. Emmeline dropped his scarf to the ground when she saw Adam's jersey around Katie's figure.

She shoved through the crowd and stood in front of the pair feeling the urge to vomit but pressed it down. People seemed to finally notice her and Emmeline fell something wet fall down her face. Gryffindor's Ice Queen was melting- she was breaking and Adam looked from Katie's face and met her eyes.

His eyes widened and he shoved Katie back but Emmeline drew her wand out. The crowd stopped and silence spread out over it as she stared at him.

" Why?"

Adam swallowed and his lips were swollen. Emmeline shut her eyes and felt the world spin.

" You're one to talk. Frank said you were snogging someone else and you're spending all your time with Jason fucking Gastor," Adam answered.

Emmeline swallowed and opened her eyes. She met his electric blue ones and for once didn't want to make his ever after happy. Emmeline didn't want anything to do with him. He was the boy who kissed her scars but now he was the man who broke her heart.

" We're never going to be happy Adam," Emmeline gasped. She brushed her tears back and met his gaze with a watery smile. " You'll always want to be in control and I don't think I can forgive you for everything you've done."

" Dammit Emma what did I do?" Adam demanded.

" You stole two years of my life- you made me into someone I'm not. Adam I'm a dangerous person and I'm not happy but maybe I'm supposed to be this way. I can't forgive you for forcing me to be happy when I lost so much. My parents died Adam! My bloody parents died and you pushed all of my grief away so you didn't have to see me break. I needed to break and you didn't let me. You've been trapping me my entire life," Emmeline spat.

" Come on Emma, there's no way for you not to be with me," Adam protested. He reached for her and Emmeline's hand came up and she heard her hand against his bare skin before she could stop.

" Don't come one step closer- our entire betrothal's a sham. If your dad died before you were born then there's no way we could possibly be stuck together. I'm not going to marry you Adam McKinnon- I refuse to allow you to force me to love you," Emmeline announced before turning around and walking away.

A hand grabbed her shoulder and whirled her around. Adam seemed to tower over her and met her gaze with tears in his. "Don't do this," he begged.

" Get your hand off me," Emmeline answered. Adam reluctantly pulled his hand from her shoulder and Emmeline turned around. She walked away from Adam McKinnon and everything that he did to her. But Emmeline didn't feel whole at all- she felt more broken and lost.

* * *

" Mr. Prewitt you must understand that your interest in our program is rather peculiar," the man said from in front of Gideon. Sweat stuck to Gideon's fingers and he looked at his hands before speaking.

" I know it's late but to quote Professor Dumbledore, ' it's never too late to do the right thing,'" Gideon answered with a tight smile. Ulysses Dearborn brushed his hair back and looked over Gideon's resume.

" You've done all the right classes and have the right recommendations. I don't see why the board can't review your application," he finally stated. Smiling, Gideon stood and brushed dust from his robes.

" Thank you for your time," he said as he shook Ulysses' hand.

" No thank you, I do hope you find what you're looking for in Healing," he replied as Gideon stepped out of the Healer's office. He left St. Mungos with a set expression and knew that what he was doing could be right. Even if his heart what set on Quidditch, Gideon knew that Mungos had an advanced program for Healers. He could help the world in a much better way than being a face for them to cheer for.

He got back to school in time for dinner. Gideon sat down next to Amos and gave his new friend a curious look. Amos was glaring at someone at the Gryffindor table, someone who was sitting with Gideon's old friends.

" Bloody Cedric had to come along and ruin everything," Amos spat as he started eating. Gideon could make out a hair of russet hair and a deep tan as several fifth year girls glanced at the man.

" Cedric?" he asked.

" My bloody cousin, Cedric Diggory. His parents decided to move because my granddad isn't doing too well. They could've left him behind in Spain though," Amos muttered bitterly.

" What's wrong with him?" Gideon asked. He could see Fabian and Frank laughing at someone he'd said and Alice struggling to not smile.

" He's charismatic and slimy and a bloody wanker. Let's just say that when I brought Erica Parkinson to a family dinner in the summer, Cedric was the reason we broke up."

Not wanting to let this spiral out, Gideon glanced down the Hufflepuff table where Emmeline sat. He could see her sitting across from Michael and Jason Gastor laughing at something they were telling her. Michael was using his fork to show her some sort of Quidditch motion that sent her into another peal of laughter.

" Vance moves quickly," Katie Mickelson commented with a snide tone. Gideon knew that most of their peers were upset with Katie; most people adored Adam and Emmeline and Katie was the reason they broke up.

" I suppose she's shagging both of them," Katie continued. Gideon crossed his arms over his chest and felt a flare of loyalty not to just Emmeline but to Michael.

" I doubt that- considering Michael's her cousin," Gideon proposed in a tight tone. Katie caught his expression and looked away to speak with some of her friends.

" Think she's open to shagging though?" Amos asked. He scratched his chin and watched as Emmeline reached across the table and smacked Jason with a book. But Jason's eyes were filled with mirth and he merely held his hands up in surrender.

" Keep your pants on Diggory- Em doesn't sleep around. She's probably heartbroken, after all she and Adam were dating for two years," Gideon answered.

" They're betrothed too," Amos pointed out. Gideon shrugged and saw that Adam was sitting at the Gryffindor table merely picking at his food.

" I don't think they really were- apparently McKinnon may not be a real McKinnon. Your biological father has to sign those for it to be binding," Josh Davenport explained.

Gideon remembered vaguely what Emmeline had said at the Pitch. If it was true then Adam wasn't even an actual McKinnon. He wondered how long it would be before the news hit the press. The McKinnons, members of the sacred 28, held a certain air of honor to them. Gideon was more than sure that having their heir, as a bastard would do more than simply disgrace them.

" Did you lot read about Florean Fortesque's being destroyed?" Jemina asked finally. Gideon shot her a grateful look as the conversation switched to the topic of the beloved ice cream parlor.

* * *

" When did you learn how to do that?" Cassius asked as Lily took another shot of firewhiskey. She bit the lemon the bartender gave her and smirked.

" Am I breaking those images you had?" she asked in a teasing tone. But her nonchalance was broken when she coughed and blood came out of her mouth. Cassius's hand found her back and he gave her a concerned look.

" I'm fine- it's only been a couple of days since I got struck by lightning Cass. It takes a while to get better."

" So you do this ever fool moon- find lightning and let it hit you?" Cassius asked. Lily shook her head and sighed.

" I missed the last one in February. It's not a random bolt of lightning it's the same one. It goes to a new location every new moon and finding its new location puts quite a dent in my bank account and a lot of research. They call it Zeus's Wrath and it's killed a lot of people."

" So you were serious when you said you could die."

There was condensation on Cassius's glass and Lily wiped at it. She didn't know how many times she would need to repeat this. But after she'd done it she could feel how much magic she had in excess. She had to get rid of all of it before it got rid of her.

" So why'd you disappear?" Lily asked in a shaking voice. She got another shot and took it down as Cassius shrugged and watched.

" Julius mainly. He's stuck following me around like a bloody ghost, but no one else can see him. It's been this way since he died," Cassius explained. Lily nearly spewed her shot out; Julius was doing what Lucian did to her. She swallowed and looked around.

Chuckling, Cassius said," He's not here anymore. He disappeared the minute I found you."

" Cassius I don't think he's coming back," Lily said in a low voice. She remembered what Lucian said and something in her gut pressed against her skin. Julius was with Cassius all long and if Lucian's mission was to make sure she would start hers then Lily had a bad suspicion what Julius's was.

" I don't know but I've been running around the world trying to get him off my bloody back. He stopped agonizing me when I did this," Cassius said as he pulled the sleeve of his robes up.

Lily blanched as the thick scar on his arm and he grinned at her expression. " I burned it off. Nearly cut my hand off."

" Why?"

" I suppose without Natasha or any family there's no point in fighting. I did it for our family, flower not because I think muggles are animals. No that was Lucian and maybe Dad," Cassius answered with a thoughtful look.

Lily stopped drinking and leaned back in her seat. She was wearing a cloak she'd bought that morning using some of the money that Jason moved into an international account for her. It made a sizable dent in the Gastor wealth and to find the location of the lightning bolt Lily needed, it took more money each time.

" Why didn't you tell anyone?" Lily asked in a concerned tone.

" Pericles and Selena know. Selena was the one who healed me after," Cassius started. But something shifted and he looked over his shoulder before cursing and turning to face Lily.

" There are two death eaters standing in the doorway of this pub. They've either been tracking you or me. We're going to find out which one of us it is. Go to the school of sorcery and find Selena. She'll make sure they don't find you," Cassius ordered.

" What about you?" Lily demanded.

" I can manage myself against them. You on the other hand probably just gave yourself alcohol poisoning," Cassius answered. Lily nodded and reluctantly stood and took her wand out as she pretended to tie her shoe.

" Stupefy," she muttered. The spell hit one of the death eaters and he fell to the ground.

" There's wizards in here!" one shouted. Cassius stood and got his wand out as Lily stood next to him.

" Bombarda," she yelled. Her spell hit the wall of the pub behind the men and it blew up.

" Go!" Cassius shouted. Lily swallowed back her urge to stay and sprinted as the men came at them. She shoved past them and made her way outside. Cassius was on her heels and they sprinted into a busy Athenian night.

Lily jumped through a crowd and ripped her cloak off. She shoved past a group of boys and ducked into a nearby alley. She cursed under her breath as men came through the crowds and chased after her.

" Go south," Cassius shouted as he moved north. Lily gave him one last look before ducking into a club. She didn't want to bring this to muggles but it was too late. Guilt pummeled through her as she made her way through the club and the men appeared at the doorway.

Someone reached for Lily on the dance floor and pulled her into his body. She started dancing against him and hoped to Circe and Merlin and Agrippa that none of the Death Eaters could see them and that the man wasn't a pervert. The person she was dancing with kept looking around the pub and finally looked down to see whom he was dancing with.

" Lily?' he breathed. Lily looked up and gaped but she could feel eyes on her so she pulled Galen's face down so her lips were near his lips. Before she would have kissed him but Lily owed it to James to not do anything with anyone but him.

" There are death eaters here. They seem set on not making a scene. So we've got to pass for a muggle couple," she whispered hastily. Galen swallowed and ran a hand through his hair but pulled her closer and into the dancing club.

The young adults around them swayed hectically to the music playing and Galen began dancing through them in an attempt to get to the second floor. They reached the stairs and Lily could see a set of brown eyes with a pallor that could only be English watching them.

" Death Eater to your left," she muttered before going up the steps with him. Galen grunted in acknowledged and pulled her up with him. They reached the second floor and he shoved her towards a balcony.

" Hopefully one of us doesn't break a bone," he muttered before pulling Lily up to the railing. " Jump," he shouted before pulling his wand out and throwing a spell. Lily followed his orders and leaped towards the roof across from the club. She landed and felt blood in her mouth as her teeth hit each other painfully. Galen landed gracefully next to her and grabbed her arm.

" Sprint Lils!" he shouted. Lily followed his orders and ignored the ache in her lungs and the pain each breath took. She couldn't be caught now- James would find out and she was free. She couldn't be trapped again.

" We have to get to the school- someone's going to meet us there," Lily shouted as they tumbled down to the ground.

" Whoever you're with the Dark Lord seems pretty pissed at," Galen exclaimed as more death eaters emerged from a nearby building. Lily frowned; Galen wasn't afraid to say Voldemort.

" He's on the run from Voldemort," Lily answered as she gulped air down and felt her throat ache in pain. She swallowed saliva and bile before pushing her hair back and pulling Galen behind a corner.

" Can you apparate?" she demanded. He nodded but bit his lip. His hand went back to his hair and Lily frowned at this gesture.

" We can't leave this group to the muggles. I'd rather pick them off one by one," he said with a shaking voice. "Or at least until aurors show up."

" When will they show up?" Lily asked as they took off again. She threw a disarming spell behind her back and tripped over a loose stone. Galen pulled her up and she coughed. There was blood on her hands.

" Hopefully soon," Galen breathed. He coughed for air and Lily moved faster. Her feet pounded into the ground and her blood chilled when she heard a howl.

" Did you hear that?" she asked.

" They teamed up with werewolves here- Pericles' work. When they're not wolves then they enjoy terrorizing muggle Athens," he continued.

" Is that why you left France?" Lily questioned as they ducked into a busy street and slowed into a walk to avoid looking suspicious.

Galen's face was scrunched up in confusion and he frowned at her. " Err Sure?" His voice got deeper and Lily frowned.

" Really?" Lily asked in a suspicious tone tone. Galen looked behind them and it was only then that Lily could see the clothing and shape he was in. He seemed thinner and there were a set of deep shadows under his eyes. His Order of Merlin ring was missing. But his clothing was pitch black and the robes he wore seemed like almost like-

"Duck."

Lily forced her body to the ground and Galen covered it with his as a nearby building exploded. She felt shrapnel in her leg and grunted in pain. Her ears let out a ringing sound of pain.

" The aurors are here," Galen said as he helped her up. Lily nodded and swallowed blood back.

" Cassius- I'm here with Cassius. He said to meet me at the School of Sorcery. I can get there from here but you should stay. I didn't know it was this bad here. It's like England," Lily muttered.

" Pericles made sure of that," Galen said with a bitter look. Lily frowned; something was off about him. He glanced at his watch and ran a hand through his hair again.

" You missed Alex's wedding," Lily murmured as she stumbled towards the edge of the square. Galen followed her and looked around the area.

" Alex Moody?" he asked. Lily frowned and before she could even turn, Galen grabbed her and whirled her around. His eyes looked desperate and he smelled of green apples.

He leaned down and his lips were almost on hers. Lily squealed and squirmed against him.

" Galen what are you doing? You're the git who convinced me that I'm in love with James," Lily uttered with a shocked tone. Galen stopped and smiled.

" Well that's good to hear because you're going to kill me for doing this," Galen muttered. Before Lily could speak, he glanced behind them and suddenly began to change.

He shot up a few inches and Lily watched in horror as his blue eyes changed to a shade of hazel. He pulled a pair of glasses from his pocket and bile crept up Lily's throat as he shoved them on and James Potter stood in front of her.

" James," Lily gasped. He smiled and reached for her, pulling her tightly into his chest and sighing against her hair.

" I don't know whether to punish you or kiss you," he murmured. Lily broke out of his hold and turned around. Bile shot out of her throat and she vomited out on the ground. James pulled her hair back and his touch made her retch.

What in Circe's name was he doing here? She stood and wiped her mouth as James half-carried her away from the rubble and debris. He carried her inside of an almost destroyed restaurant and grabbed a bottle of water from the stand in front of it.

After placing her on a table, James pulled his robes off and checked to see if anyone was in the restaurant. He handed her the bottle, opened and wore a stern expression.

" Drink it," he ordered. Lily took it and sipped from it as she glanced around. Her heart fell; this was her favorite restaurant. The same restaurant she went to in the summer, the same one where she finally accepted that she could run but her life was in England.

Standing, Lily faced James and took her wand out. He crossed his arms over his chest and she realized that he was wearing the entire death eater garb excluding the sickening mask.

" How did you find me?" she demanded. James smirked and got off the table he was sitting on to reach for her. His wand hit her Gastor birthmark and it appeared. But there was something on it. Something Lily had never noticed as she always concealed her birthmark never revealed it. She looked in the mirror across from them and saw James's initials stamped onto it like a branding sign.

Tears came to her eyes and her head let out a painful ache. " You've been tracking me?" she asked. James shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. There was a scream outside and he didn't even look up from her. His hands found her waist and his eyes were on her figure, darting all over it.

" Not a tracking charm. I've got a matching one with your initials. Whenever you think about me I can feel it. Has your heart sped up a lot?" James asked in a curious tone.

" I thought it was a side effect," Lily muttered. James frowned but she beat him to the punch. " But I've thought about you a lot in the past three months," she pointed out.

" It doesn't let me find you Love. It took me three months to figure how to make it into a tracking charm without you being there. But I did it and I'm taking you home," James declared with a victorious grin.

Lily froze as he proceeded to pull her in for a kiss. " It's okay you don't need to be scared- I promised to protect you."

His lips were soft against hers and Lily knew she had to get away from him. But she had to get him to remove whatever damn charm he kept on her first. And she had to find Cassius and Selena. But first, Lily had to keep from showing him her true motives; she had to pretend to want to go back to England.

Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, Lily pressed her face into his shirt and inhaled his scent. " I'm sorry James- I'm so sorry. I was scared and I didn't want to hurt you." It was true but she had to make sure that she never hurt anyone again. Lily had to finish her missions before she could let James take her home.

" It's okay. I'm not upset anymore," James promised. He titled her face up and Lily was crying. She didn't have to fake her tears. James's hand held her face and Lily leaned into his touch and sighed.

" How did you get Galen's hair?" she asked curiously. James frowned and she cleared her throat. " For the Polyjuice potion," Lily clarified.

James smirked and Lily shivered at the dark glint in his eyes. " Let's just say that I'm not going to release Kingsmill until you're back in England," he declared with a laugh.

Lily's heart let out a painful ache and her mouth dried. She swallowed and could feel James watching her for a reaction. " You trapped Gale?" she asked in a soft voice.

" I need insurance that you won't run," James explained. Lily smiled shakily and cursed internally. She didn't want Galen to get hurt, or for James to kill him.

" Take me home," Lily said finally. She was trapped. She couldn't let Galen die but she had to finish this. It came to her mind that Lily wasn't willing to let another person die for her.

James smiled and pulled her up into his arms. He left the building and Lily sighed; she needed a new plan.

" Where are we going?" Lily asked in a breathless voice. James brushed some of her hair back and looked forward.

" Nowhere," he answered. Lily felt her eyes drag down and yawned. James smiled and she felt her heart thump against her chest. Realization hit her as another wave of exhaustion overcame her.

" Did you put something in my water?" Lily asked in a slur. He gave her the bottle opened- how could she be so stupid.

" Just to make the ride back to England easier. Don't worry you'll wake up in England," James said as he pressed his lips against her brow. Lily tried squirming but her limbs felt like lead. She looked up at the darkening sky and felt tears in her eyes; she was trapped.

Something dark tugged at her and Lily fought it in vain. But it won and she was dragged under it. She fought against the darkness and it pushed her down into some type of sea. Lily screamed in protest and water filled her lungs.

She woke with pain engulfing her whole and met a pair of gold eyes. Cassius hovered over her with a stone coated in blood in his hands.

" Thank Merlin you're awake, Mind getting me out of these?" he said as he showed her the ropes binding his legs and arms together. Lily touched her collarbone and frowned.

" Did you stab me?" she asked as her finger came back red. Cassius shrugged and a loud explosion shook the ground below them.

" You wouldn't wake you and they're planning on taking me to the Dark Lord. I also thought you wouldn't be particularly fine with James Potter killing Galen Kingsmill in front of you," Cassius grunted. Lily sat up and rubbed her head before reaching for her wand.

" What do you mean?" she demanded.

" He was telling Lupin about it. Really Lils you should know James Potter better. He's not going to let Galen live even if you go with him," Cassius sighed.

Lily clenched her jaw and swallowed. Her collarbone was a mess of blood and she felt bile in her mouth when she touched her bare bone.

" They took our wands and I've got no idea where we are," Cassius continued as Lily took the stone from him and worked at the ropes on his wrists.

" We're in the Athenian School for Sorcery, look at the walls," Lily answered. Her chest hurt horribly. Cassius saw her rub it and scoffed.

"Potter had a bloody tracking charm on you and you didn't know it."

Frowning, Lily made it through one rope and looked up. " I concealed it everyday so no. Besides I haven't looked in a mirror in ages," Lily argued.

" Well once we get to the states then I'll be sure to get you to a hair salon. Yours look awful. It's like a bird's nest," Cassius teased.

" Shut up. Do you know when they're coming back?" she asked.

" They're planning on destroying this school, left about ten minutes ago. Do you know how long it typically takes to obliterate an ancient school of magic?" Cassius asked in sarcastic voice.

Lily could see in his eyes how much pain he was in. Not only did he let himself get caught but he let her too. She squeezed his hand and freed one before going to the other.

" I'm sorry Lils. I just really don't want to do this to Jason. He's the one who'll have to get the heat of having a traitor brother and a sister that ran away and had to be dragged back by her betrothed."

" It doesn't matter, we're getting out of here and leaving Europe. We can't risk anything anymore. Tracking charms won't work over large bodies of water," Lily grunted.

She freed his other hand and Cassius picked up another rock and helped her with his legs. Lily brushed her hair from her eyes and took a heavy breath. Her heart was racing and too strained from today and what she'd done days ago.

" You okay?" Cassius asked. Lily nodded and clutched her head. There was a piercing ringing in it and she ignored it as she returned to Cassius's shackles.

" Stop, we can't even get out. The door's locked," Cassius revealed. Lily frowned and stood she moved to the door of the small room and tried opening the dusty knob. It wouldn't budge and she moved to the small window.

" We could jump," she suggestion before looking out it. Lily paled; Death Eaters and werewolves were wreaking chaos on the school. The entire west end was covered in fire and the dining hall had been torn to bits and debris. Lily took her stone and wrung her hand back. The window shattered and she brushed the glass away as she heard screams from outside.

" We have to help," she muttered.

" We have to get out," Cassius argued.

" No, I spent three years with those people," Lily said as she pointed to the open pavilion. " Selena's down there."

Cassius looked annoyed but sighed. " Fine but we're getting Kingsmill to safety and leaving right after," he ordered. Lily nodded and Cassius helped her remove glass from the window. It was big enough for her to fit through and for him to barely make it. They stood on the roof and Cassius helped Lily slide down it. She stumbled twice and he caught her both times.

" Here," Lily said as she leaned down and moved to jump into a hallway. She rolled down and landed on her wrist. Cassius landed after her and pulled her up.

" We need wands," he said. Lily nodded and looked around. They were near the Hex Classroom and she could see students running around.

" What in Merlin's name?" she muttered. Why weren't there evacuation precautions and where were the aurors?

" Come on," Cassius said. He pulled her after him and they ran into a body. Lily looked up and met a pair of brown eyes. Before the owner could speak, Cassius quickly punched him in the gut and grabbed his wand.

" Stupefy," he shouted. Throwing Lily the wand, he began running down the hall. They got him a wand and Lily followed him down a flight of stairs to where the main fight was. She cursed under her breath as she saw Selena dueling a death eater.

" Reducto," Lily shouted. Her spell hit a nearby wall and the death eater was engulfed by it. Selena turned and met her gaze with a shocked one.

" I thought you'd be in India by now," she exclaimed before pulling Lily in for a tight embrace.

" Long story short, I ran into James and he's here," Lily muttered.

" I know, he's actually blowing up the kitchens right now," Selena muttered as she rubbed her bare arm. She was wearing only a flimsy nightgown and robe so Lily could see trail of blood from her arm.

" Where are the teachers and why haven't aurors shown up?" Lily demanded.

" Most students are under the school escaping. Those of age were allowed to stay and fight. As for the teachers," Selena started with a glance to the ground around them. Lily could see bodies all around them through the light coming from spells.

" Right. We're going to get you out of here," she said as Cassius came up to them with a bloody nose.

" Werewolves know how to throw a punch," he muttered before looking at Selena.

" We've come to save you Selby," he said with a blotted tone from his nose. Lily raised her eyebrow at the nickname and Selena scowled.

" Don't call me that," Selena ordered. Cassius smirked but turned in time to set up a quick shield charm.

" If we're leaving then now's the time," he insisted. Lily nodded and grabbed Selena's hand.

"Apparate us," she ordered. But someone grabbed Selena from her grip and Lily whirled around to see James with his wand at Selena's throat.

" I don't think so. One move and I'll kill her," he hissed with rage in his eyes. The battle moved faster around them and James jutted his head towards a room.

" Get in there or I'll make her bleed," he ordered. Lily swallowed hard and met Cassius's eyes before walking to the room. James closed the door behind them and pointed his wand at Cassius with his arm tightly around Selena's neck.

" If you try anything love I will kill both of them," he announced to her. Lily's head buzzed against and Cassius frowned.

" No I know what I'm doing!" he muttered. James frowned and Lily felt his eyes on her collarbone.

" We'll get that cleaned up at Mungos," he said lightly.

" James I can't go back. Don't do this," Lily pleaded. He looked annoyed as he sighed.

" I don't care- you broke my heart and I still love you. I need you," James answered. Lily swallowed hard and wanted to tell him that she loved him but she couldn't. For the first time in three months she doubted it- because maybe she did make James into a better person. Without her he seemed to be becoming more and more of a monster.

" You weren't going to free Gale were you?" Lily asked. James laughed and smirked at her.

" He's too dangerous alive."

" You're sick."

" But you love me."

Lily frowned at his words and Selena met her eyes. She mouthed something at her and Lily pulled her wand down from her sleeve. James was watching her and he did not expect Selena Kingsmill to raised her elbow and clip him in the face.

" Stupefy," Lily shouted. Her spell raced to James but he waved his wand and a quick shield charm came up. He wiped the blood from his nose and glared at her and Selena.

Lily grabbed Selena's robes and James had his wand at Cassius.

" I'll kill him if you try to apparate," he threatened. Lily nodded and felt frustration eat her whole.

" I'm sorry Lena," she whispered as she moved to drop her wand and go to James. " I don't think I have a choice." Cassius heard her and smiled.

There was something free to his smile and Lily felt a ringing sound in her ears as the next events unfolded.

" No you don't," Cassius said as he raised his wand and shot a spell at James. Selena grabbed Lily and Lily watched in horror as James deflected Cassius's spell and had a killing spell coming to him.

" No," Lily screamed as Selena apparated them and Cassius fell to the ground. She met James's eyes as they disappeared. There was something so sad in them and Lily knew why James did this. She could even understand it in a twisted way but it didn't make it right. No what James did made her see that no matter her feelings; he'd always be a monster.

* * *

Marlene was walking with a Ravenclaw girl and caught his eyes before smiling. But there were a set of deep shadows under her eyes that made Sirius know something was wrong.

" I think I left something in Transfiguration" Sirius muttered.

" I've got to get to Dueling club, can meet I you there?" Remus asked. Sirius nodded and Remus headed off without him.

Although he'd be chosen to help lead the club, Adam McKinnon seemed set on avoiding Sirius as much as possible, meaning that he did most of the work with Andromeda.

Sirius walked back to Marlene and tugged her elbow. She turned and looked up through her long lashes to meet his eyes. " Yes?" she asked in a tired tone.

" I just wanted a word," he explained as he led her in the other direction away from the group of students. He stopped near an empty corridor and frowned at Marlene. Sirius could feel her anxiety and fear inside of his mind.

" Dad and Mum went to a party, apparently Zabini told her parents what happened. The Prophet's having a field day with it; they're claiming that there's no McKinnon heir now," Marlene explained before he could sift through her thoughts.

Sirius was quiet for a moment. " Is it true," he finally asked. Marlene looked conflicted and Sirius gently urged her to tell him the truth.

" Adam's not my dad's son but he's a McKinnon."

" How?"

Marlene wrung her hands together and picked at her chipping nail polish. "Remember my uncle Zacharias?"

Sirius nodded; Zacharias McKinnon was the original McKinnon heir, Marlene's dad's older brother. But he died in a Curse Breaking Accident almost two decades ago.

" My parents don't have the healthiest relationship Sirius. Mum's nearly a decade younger than dad and both of them aren't terribly loyal to each other. She cheated on him with my uncle before he died. Adam was born nine month later."

Sirius stared at her in bewilderment and swallowed; he'd never met a girl with more drama in her life. But if anything Marlene ad Adam were the victims here; they kept this secret for so long and now it was going to ruin both of heir lives.

" I'm sorry you had to carry that by yourself," Sirius said as he pressed his lips against her forehead. Marlene shook her head and stepped back.

" Sirius I love my brother. I just don't know how your family's going to react to this," Marlene sighed.

" It doesn't matter- I'll stand by you no matter what," Sirius vowed. He didn't know that promise was going to make his world break. He tried to hold himself to it but it didn't work. In the end sometimes a vow needs more than one person. And Marlene McKinnon couldn't let him live by it.

Blacks didn't live long. Sirius knew it was most likely due to all of the intermarriages but he was crossing his fingers to make it past fifty. His grandfather didn't make it past sixty.

Regulus stood next to him and Sirius struggled not to sneer when purebloods pooled into the Black family Country Estate. Social Events were funerals and weddings for the purebloods.

Only minutes after Pollux Black was buried in the Godric Hallow Cemetery, families streamed into his house. Sirius played the sad, but graceful, grandson and Marlene stood with her family while he was with his.

" Sirius my boy," Alphard Black said. Turning, Sirius met his great uncle's gaze and smiled. Although he was his Headmaster, Sirius did find his great uncle the only relative who didn't hold his friends' achievements above his.

" Sit with me. I'm afraid my age is catching up with me," Alphard said as he walked towards the study. Sirius followed him, grateful for a way to get away from his family. His dad's eyes told the story of an impending lecture.

Alphard Black slid into one of the thick chairs and let out a noise of contentment.

" Pass me my spectacles boy," he ordered as he buttoned up his robe. Sirius went to the table as Alphard pulled out a pile of paper from his pocket. His shaking hands took the glasses from Sirius's hands and Sirius swallowed; Alphard was nearing seventy, much older than the standard Black, but young for a wizard.

" You're not daft," he said with an appraising eye.

" Pardon me?" Sirius asked as he sat across from his uncle.

" You've got better ears than me boy- you heard me. I don't believe your stupid; your OWL scores prove that much. So why is it that your future seems empty?"

" I want to work with the Wizengamot," Sirius argued. " That's a valid future."

Alphard snorted and flipped through his paper. " Maybe for one of your talentless more inbred classmates, but not for you boy. ' Sirius is intelligent- would prevail if he applied himself,' can you tell me which of your teachers wrote that?" Alphard asked.

Sirius frowned in concentration and threw back his curls. Certainly not Slughorn or Flitwick. Professor Omina despised him and Professor McGonagall simply tolerated him.

" Andy?" he asked in a soft tone. Alphard smiled and shook his head.

"' Shows a talent for the subject- considered referral for the auror office,'" Alphard read. "'Talented dueler- one of the best in his class"' he flipped through the papers and laughed. " This one's my favorite- ' Not only managed to do nonverbal magic but is excellent at confundus charms. Nearly had me fooled when he showed me his textbook instead of an actual scroll of work.'"

Alphard took his spectacles off and placed the papers on his lap. He watched Sirius with a look only living through two wars could give someone. " Boy if I lift your sleeve I will find a dark mark on your arm. You're headed down a dangerous path- one that not's going to make you happy."

" And being an auror will? Mum and dad will disown me and the Dark Lord will kill me!" Sirius cried.

" Not an auror- fighting for the right side," Alphard corrected. He brought his hands together and watched Sirius.

" It's hard isn't it? Being in this family takes brave boys and makes them into evil men. I always had more hope in you- I always hoped you'd have the time to make the right choice. But we're out of time boy. I need to know if you want to do the right thing."

" Why are you asking me this?" Sirius demanded.

" The war is titling and we need more brave men. I think you could be one of them," Alphard revealed.

Sirius pursed his lips and looked to the large Family Tree spanning the entire wall of the study. It was a tad bigger than the one in his parents' townhouse, included the relations the Blacks had with some of the purest families in the Wizarding World.

He could see Jason and James on opposite side of the tree and himself in between them. Sirius didn't know who he would choose- he didn't choose James when he decided to go with him. Sirius did that because of what Marlene told him. He did that because Marlene told him that she loved Jason on the train ride back to London.

He chose to abandon his friend because Marlene and Jason emerged from a room of the Gastor Manor, both flushed and set on avoiding each other for the rest of the break. He chose to stop fighting the compulsion charms because Marlene said Jason's name while they were kissing. He chose to leave his brother because his heart was broken.

Sirius didn't know how this mattered to what Alphard was saying. But he did know that what he was doing to Marlene was what her brother did to Emmeline Vance, if the rumors were true. It was what all-pureblood men were expected to do. But Sirius knew that Marlene wanted to believe he was different- she did tell him that the day before his birthday at Professor Slughorn's party.

" Now listen Boy. I'm going to tell you something and you can choose to take my offer or not. But I will obliviate you if you don't take it. This type of information must remain private. Dumbledore assembled a group of men and women who decided they were not willing to let the Ministry choose what the public knew about the war. He assembled a group who was willing to fight that war. Most of us are dead now," Alphard started in a nostalgic voice.

" My generation is done fighting and your generation has started. Your classmates have been recruited and some are already fighting just as you are. But they're fighting for what's good. Boy we both know why you're fighting? It's cowardice and it's Black! You are different- you are brave and if you choose so I can help you not be a coward."

Sirius instinctively knew to say no. He knew what happened to people who abandoned the Dark Lord- he'd seen the torturous deaths. But was it worth it? Was it worth dying to stop killing and doing wrong? He tried so hard to swallow whatever his parents told him about muggles. But in honest truth Sirius found them fascinating in how one would look at a child. There was something so innocently dark about them. They were like wizards but they seemed so much more emotional and maybe even alive.

" He'll kill me," Sirius answered in a sorrowful voice. Alphard shook his head and his tangle of Black family hair sat on his shoulders in a silver mess.

" We have ways of keeping you safe. He won't suspect you to be a traitor- not when your best mates are his bloody prodigies," Alphard clarified.

" Tell me one thing- does it make you feel any less guilty? Can you sleep at night without seeing the carnage- without seeing everyone you love dead?" Sirius asked in a frantic voice.

" No- in times like this I doubt anything could Boy. But it's not about how it changes you; it's about how it could change the world as we know it."

" One last thing; you mentioned members of my generation being in it. Is Marlene McKinnon one of them?"

Alphard looked morose and sighed. " Not anymore. She left before your birthday. Brilliant girl- she helped heal some of our members who fought against the death eaters."

Sirius mulled this over. Marls kept secrets from him, but for all of the right reasons; she also didn't tell him things; but for all of the right reason. Sirius rubbed his family ring and looked up.

" I'll do it- I'll fight for the good. I know what's good and I don't want to be a coward anymore," Sirius vowed. He looked up and met his uncle's stormy grey eyes with a brave look in his eyes.

" There's one last thing I should tell you. Andromeda's a member," Alphard said as though it wasn't important.

But it was too important. It was the most important detail he could have left out. If Andy was in this group then Sirius knew he would have to face what she did to him. He would have to face the first person to ever let him down and Sirius Black did not like thinking of the few people that had.

It was because of Andromeda that he chose Slytherin over Gryffindor, and that made all the difference. But he was going to choose Gryffindor now.

* * *

" You can't stay here anymore," Selena declared. Lily looked up from the piano and saw that Selena was still wearing the black dress she'd worn to Galen's funeral.

" James won't find me here- he'd never expect me to stay in Greece after he burned the Lilius villa," Lily protested. Selena shook her head and brushed her hair back. There was a thick scar stretching over her palm and Lily looked down at the piano.

It wasn't as good as the one Apolline Kingsmill had given her but it would do. Lily's finger glided over the keys and a low mournful sound came out.

Selena shut the top of the piano and Lily looked up in surprise. Her friend's face was covered in tears and there was a thick bruise from James's hand near her neck.

" I can't be around you anymore Lily," Selena finally admitted. Lily gaped at her and Selena wrapped her arm around her figure self-consciously.

" Ever since you came back, everybody I love died. There's something wrong with you Lily- death follows you around," Selena explained.

" Lena," Lily said in a soft voice. Selena shook her face and took a ragged breath.

" Galen's dead and it's your fault. If you hadn't run away from England then James Potter wouldn't have killed him!" Selena spat. " My school was destroyed because he wanted you. He's not going to stop- James will tear the world apart to find you and I won't be something he rips apart looking for you," Selena hissed.

Hurt flashed across Lily's face and she met Selena's gaze with tears in her eyes. But Lily gathered up her hurt and loss because Selena was right.

" I'm going to England- Pericles talked to the Headmaster of Hogwarts. They'll let me take NEWTS and after that I'll come back and be a healer. But I can't continue my life with you in it. Pain and destruction follow you wherever you go and I think it's time someone's told you," Selena explained.

Lily nodded and clenched her fists. Her bags weren't touched in ages as she was using stuff she'd left behind in Selena's house. Selena had brought them down from her room and Lily wiped a tear away.

" I'm sorry Lena," she muttered before grabbing her bags and stepping out of the house. Lily had no idea that Selena Kingsmill was crying when she shut the door. But she did know that Selena was right. And that made her heart shatter- she killed Galen and Benjy and everyone she got close to.

Three hours later, Lily sat on a muggle plane with her head pressed against the window. She watched the clouds with a bland look and glanced at the path of the flight.

Before dawn she'd been in America. Before dawn she could leave everything behind. Because through all of this Lily loved England and she couldn't finish her mission. She couldn't risk bringing destruction to anyone or place she loved.

So Lily headed for the one place where no one she knew would be. But when she sat in the plane to New York, Lily had forgotten one thing- her mum went to New York after her first love died.

And if anything ghosts liked having something to haunt.

* * *

" Cassius is dead."

" He died honorably- defending the Athenian School of Sorcery from Death Eaters."

" The Greek Minister's awarded him their equivalency of the Order of Merlin."

" I'm sorry for your loss."

The words echoed in Jason's mind as he stared at the freshly dug grave in Godric's Hallow. The funeral was hours ago and Pericles was hosting the reception while he stood falling apart in front of Cassius's grave.

" Another one bites the dust," Michael said from next to him. Emmeline's head was on his shoulder and Jason squeezed her hand tightly.

" Michael," she scolded. Jason shook his head and cleared his throat.

" It's okay- that's all we seem to do," Jason rasped. Emmeline looked at him with a concerned look and he shrugged her away.

" Did they say how he died?" Michael asked.

" Killing Curse- right in the chest," Jason answered as he looked at the graves. Cassius's somehow didn't seem new. It was as show Cassius died a long time ago. And it killed Jason to know that in his brother's last moments he was nowhere near at peace with him.

There was silence and Emmeline and Michael reached for either of his hands. Jason blinked back a tear as they stood there with him. He leaned against Emmeline and she acted as though he was standing on his own as Michael apparated them to the Gastor Manor.

* * *

" Thanks for coming," Pericles murmured against her forehead. Selena straightened his robes and nodded. She didn't want to tell him that she was going to return his ring that night so Selena pressed her lips against his cheek as purebloods milled through the house.

There was a picture of Cassius near the front of the living room and Selena looked away. If she looked at him all she could see were those awful last moments. Lily ready to sacrifice herself for them and that look of utter peace in his eyes as he stepped forward.

She still struggled not to think about the gaping hole in Lily's collarbone that she'd had to heal. There wasn't much of a scar but Selena kept seeing it over and over again.

She looked away from the image of Cassius and met a pair of hazel eyes. Freezing, Selena struggled not to walk over to James Potter and punch him in the face. He watched her with a similar expression and Selena cleared her throat.

" I'm going to the bathroom, you should talk to Jason," she advised Pericles. He nodded and let go of her. She walked towards the entrance hall and could hear James behind her as she moved up the stairs and into a bedroom.

Selena turned as he shut the door and glared at him. " Where's Lily?" he asked in a short tone.

" Your guess is as good as mine- She left me after news of Galen's death came to Greece. By the way," Selena said as she moved to him. She swung her arm up but James grabbed it with no sense of gentleness. He slammed her into the wall and forced her chin up.

" That was days after the battle. Which meant you were hiding her until then," James hissed. Selena shoved him away and stared at him in disgust.

" She was going to come back to England on your bloody birthday," Selena spat. James's expression froze into one of a hopeful look and Selena laughed coldly.

" Do you really think she'll want to be anywhere near you after you killed Galen? Lily thought he was the frickin sun!" Selena shouted.

James's expression faltered and he clenched his fists before smashing his hand into the wall next to Selena. He let out a growl and Selena watched him bitterly. She lost so much and he was nothing but evil to her.

" She's not coming home is she?" he asked. Selena swallowed and wanted to tell him it was her fault. She hurt Lily and lashed out when Lily was so broken. But that didn't mean she wasn't right- Lily did bring destruction wherever she went. Selena looked out the window at the setting English sun, it was shrouded in clouds and she longed for Greece.

" I don't know."

" Do me a favor Kingsmill- keep what happened in Greece between the two of us? I've got enough guilt for killing my godparents' son," James sighed. He slid down the wall and ran his hand through hair.

Selena watched him and bit her lip before speaking. " Lily's the kind of person who thinks she's not worthy of healing. She may not come back Potter but she may come and we'll never know. But I know one thing. You had a choice there- you could've stopped us. You had enough time but you didn't. I think deep down you know that trapping Lily will only make her hate you."

" You don't know anything about me and Lily- we need each other more than air. You don't get to define us because Lily might think of you as a sister but I know people like you. You're going to ruin a lot of lives," James hissed.

" Like Lily hasn't," Selena retorted. James smirked and walked to the door.

" The thing about Lily is that she doesn't do anything wrong- she just takes the blame for others' wrongdoings. She's just as flawed as I am and it's because she doesn't hide it that I love her," James mused. He shut the door and Selena was left alone with a ripped heart and a ring to return to the love of her life.

* * *

James stood in Lily's room of the Gastor Manor. He walked to her desk and swallowed hard before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a piece of parchment. She left it for him with his luggage and he finally understood the meaning of what Lily was trying to tell him.

His fingers were covered in a light layer of sweat as he opened the folds Lily made and he looked at the parchment. It wasn't signed with her name but instead something was written in a hectic scrawl.

_If you love something, then set it free. If it comes back to you it's yours forever. If it doesn't then it was never yours. _

James thought that he had to make Lily come back. But maybe by chasing her he did nothing but the opposite of his intentions. His heart felt empty as he realized that Lily wasn't something controllable anymore. He was just crossing his fingers that she loved him and was going to come back like Jason said on his birthday.

It was March 27, 1977 and Lily did not return home. James Potter sat up all night and waited. He waited for the compulsion charms to set in all day. He was alert and waiting for Lily's presence to come to his mind. He refused to drink at the party of the year and waited. It was midnight when James left the party and went to the Black Lake. It was clear mostly and he looked up to the moon and waited. He waited for it to sink in that Lily wasn't coming back.

There was nothing until he could finally feel Lily in his mind. She was so broken and James knew what he had to do. He had to let go of her and just maybe she'd come back.

So with all of his training and fighting Legimency, James pushed her away. He fought against her presence and forced it out of his mind until he was alone with just his broken heart.

* * *

**A reviewer asked if I was going to update more regularly. The answer is yes as I've got a lot more time to write in the summer.**

**Chapter 23 is complete and being beta-read right now but Chapter 24 is coming along a little slowly. I'm working on it and going through plot notes so hopefully it will be done soon enough. **

**As promised I'm still sending out sneak peaks to anyone who reviews!**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin **


	23. In the Dark

**Chapter 23 In the Dark**

**(Girl on Fire)**

* * *

For some peculiar reason New Yorkers seemed to think that Lily was one of the vagabonds that slept on their park benches. She didn't look much better than those who spent their nights on benches, even though Lily once had an entire bank account with enough money to buy multiple of the so called great skyscrapers of this city.

But that didn't stop her from spending her time lying on one of the benches in Central Park staring at the sky with little purpose to do otherwise. There was a pretzel on the ground near her and Lily glanced towards the stand it came from. She'd never been so fond of salty food but it was the closest thing to her.

The sun was just beginning to set and Lily could make out her reflection in the glass of a nearby building as she turned her head. Wearing a weathered pair of fitted black pants and a rather dank jacket made her look somewhat like the vagrants of the city. Yet there was a tilt of danger in her eyes that made drunk men stay back.

Her neck cracked softly as she forced her head back to the sky and sighed. April in New York meant rain. She'd done a rather pathetic attempt at an Umbrella Charm and the odd droplet would hit her hair every few seconds.

She'd considered moving to the library in Bryant Park or even inside of a museum. But just as she had for the past two weeks, Lily settled on remaining still and reached for the bottle of vodka in her pocket. It shot to her nose in a nasty burning sensation and she capped it off before closing her eyes.

After arriving in America in March, she'd settled on coming to the city where her mum used to work. Lily vaguely knew from flipping through her old diary that her mum spent a year or so in New York before returning to Greece and meeting her father.

She also knew the exact address of her mum's old job but seemed set on staying in the park. Licking her lips, Lily forced her eyes opened and watched the sky as it changed slowly.

She could hear people passing around the park. They'd rushed through life and she was stuck in the past. Lily closed her eyes and could see Galen. She could see James in front of him and Galen screaming in pain. She could see James opening a door and doing it quickly. She could see him dragging Galen's death out for hours.

The only thing she seemed to regret was not finding out how Galen died. Every night it haunted her. Lily supposed she watched the many ways he could have died every night over and over again.

A piece of paper flew out in front of her and Lily frowned as she reached up and pulled the wet newspaper from the air. It wasn't a muggle paper. It was comical how magic was laced into this city and the muggles remained oblivious. She wondered what a muggle would see instead of the newspaper in her hands.

She saw a family on the cover. The wife of the President of Magic was just one of the many who lost his or her life to the spreading vanishing illness. Rumors from bars kept Lily informed that the illnesses were dying out here but making sharp appearances over the Midwest and West Coast.

The American President of Magic had a set of cold blue eyes that reminded her of Emmeline's ice ones. But his eyes were filled with an edge as he moved his hand onto his younger son's shoulder. Lily struggled not to roll her eyes at the form of Connor Clarke. According to witches in bars in the area, he was something of a playboy. With platinum blonde hair, lightly tanned skin, and crystal clear blue eyes, Connor Clarke looked like a bloody American Dream.

In comparison, his brother, Marcus Clarke, was almost painful for Lily to look at. His lips were pulled into a smile that made his green eyes crinkle. He had tousled caramel locks, pale skin, and raised cheekbones. There was something fairy-like to his build and with a little research weeks ago, Lily found out he was an auror.

She crumpled the newspaper and sighed. Bishop would be more than ashamed of her. She was supposed to be in Hogwarts getting stellar grades and fighting in the Order not spending her days debating whether salted peanuts or a hot dog would make a good meal.

But then again he didn't know what she'd done. The lives she'd taken and the deaths lost in vain for her cause. Sleep used to terrify her, but now Lily enjoyed seeing all of the dead again. She missed them too much and they appeared enough in her dreams.

Cassius's image rippled in her mind... His lips pulled into a dauntless smile to the very second when that horrible hit his chest. He smiled at death, Lily supposed.

Someone prodded her shoulder and Lily rolled her head forward. She met the grubby form of a hobo and he licked his lips. " Girl there's a cop coming down this way. You'd best be getting," he advised.

Lily touched her bruised eye and shrugged. " Thank you but I'm fine here," she answered. The man looked annoyed but walked away. The beggars in the city seemed to have some sort of system where they helped each other out. Lily managed to annoy most of them.

She heard him walk away and rolled her body forward. She ran a hand into her hair and frowned at the state of her hair. It was still the color of cherries and remained around her face in greasy clumps. She wanted to see her fiery tousled locks that tended to curl at the end.

Rubbing her eyes, Lily took another sip from her bottle and winced as the alcohol hit her gut all wrong. She shoved it into her pocket and stared at the sky. That was before someone cleared his or her throat and Lily looked up.

There was a man wearing a dark windbreaker and a pair of dark jeans. His hood was over his face but that didn't stop Lily from noticing the wand pointed in her direction.

" You're violating the statue of secrecy," Lily drawled before turning over. She didn't expect the man to grab her and pull her up from the bench. Her hood was thrown off as he forced her into a standing position and Lily narrowed her emerald green eyes.

" A little hypocritical coming from a underage witch who's made it her goal to confund every bloody muggle who tries to talk to her," he growled as he let go of Lily. Rain fell down her bare face and she could see her jacket on the ground. All she wore underneath was a pathetic excuse of a tank top and the man's face ducked towards her chest.

Realizing that her scarred collarbones were visible, Lily frowned and pulled her wand out. But she kept it down remembering that in the States the time to be of age was eighteen.

" Are you in danger?" he asked in a curious tone. A violent flush rose up Lily's cheeks and she roared with laughter.

" Look why don't we put this incident behind us. I'm bloody rich. I'm sure a man like yourself wouldn't mind never having to work again," Lily drawled.

The man frowned at her tone and pulled his hood off. A pair of eyes only a shade lighter than Lily's own met hers. She gaped at the form of Marcus Clarke and he smiled wryly at her expression.

" So am I," he answered before looking over Lily's figure with disdain. His eyes paused at her collarbones and he squinted his eyes. There were two thick lines on her collarbones. Cassius traced one horizontally and it ripped the star birthmark in half. He'd done another from the juncture between her neck and the end of the opposite collarbone. It ripped the Gastor star to bits and pieces.

" I'm afraid I'm going to have to bring you in to the Ministry," he declared as he met her eyes.

" And I'm afraid I don't want to go to the Ministry," Lily answered before she shot a sloppy freezing spell at him. He waved his wand to get rid of it but didn't have time to expect the second one coming after it.

Lily turned and sprinted from Marcus Clarke and his haunting eyes. She managed to get about three yards away before he hit her with levitating spell. Lily was turned upside down and huffed as he walked over to her with a disappointed look in his eyes.

" He said you'd be a lot less volatile," he sighed.

" Tell me one thing? If there's a bloody madman sending forces here then why is an auror chasing after a girl who confunded a few muggles?" Lily demanded as he reversed the spell and shackled her arms together.

It seemed she hit a weak point for Marcus Clarke and he turned her and held her by the back of her neck before apparating. They stood in front of a building Lily did not know and Marcus dragged her inside. Men and women looked at them and Lily glared at more than a few of them.

" That's a perfect look for your yearbook picture. Tell me again how old are you?" Marcus asked in a bored tone. Lily craned her neck back and wondered what were her odds of getting away. She could always elbow him in the nose and sprint.

" Of age," Lily answered before turning. He pressed the button to an elevator and Lily swallowed hard before backing into his chest.

" Afraid of heights?" he drawled in an amused tone. Lily swallowed hard and tried to force down the memories of getting hit by lightning. Two times was more than enough for a lifetime.

" No I just wanted to see if it was true; your newspapers seem to care more about whether you've got a rather nasty scar on your chest instead of the vanishing illness," Lily answered in a quip.

He growled and shoved her inside of the elevator. A few more people entered the elevator.

" Who's the girl Clarke?" one asked. Lily looked up and clenched her fists tightly together as the elevator rose. She could see the floor numbers going higher and higher and the people in the elevator began small talk. Lily wanted to snap at all of them. They were nearly in the clouds by now!

She looked at the ground and studied her boots. Her wand was confiscated but her Moleskin bag was in her left shoe. Finally the elevator opened and Marcus dragged her forward onto a floor with light too bright. Lily squinted as he forced her down the hall and avoided meeting people's gazes.

Marcus pulled her into a broom closet and before Lily could protest, he pulled on a bottle of cleaning liquid. The wall of the closet fell back and in front of Lily was a table filled with men and women. Sitting at the front was Professor Dumbledore.

Marcus removed her handcuffs and Lily gaped at those twinkling blue eyes. "Professor?" she said in a raspy voice.

" She's one of your students?" Marcus asked in a disbelieving tone. Lily shot him a dirty looked and Professor Dumbledore stood. His eyes twinkled.

" Thank you for bringing her here Marcus. All will be cleared soon," Professor Dumbledore answered before he moved towards a doorway.

" Come with me," he said to Lily. She swallowed and ignored the curious stares of the men and women before following Professor Dumbledore down the hall. He stopped in front of a door and opened it before entering. Lily closed the door behind herself and crossed her arms.

" Professor what are you doing here?" Lily asked. He looked over his glasses at her with a sad expression.

" No need for formalities, I'm no longer your teacher. As for my presence in New York, well I'm only stopping in. I have a meeting with the President here to discuss their epidemic of Vanishing Illness. When Mr. Clarke showed me a picture of the underage witch he'd been tracking for a week I asked him to bring you here," Professor Dumbledore explained.

Lily frowned and his eyes trailed her figure before she spoke.

" So you've been traveling the world while England's going to hell?" she asked.

" I'm sending help and doing what I can Miss Gastor," Professor Dumbledore explained.

" Don't call me that," Lily answered. His eyes flashed and Professor Dumbledore took a seat at the table in the room.

" I believe I received a letter from Kingsley Shacklebolt describing Lily Evans's death. What are you going by if it's not your true name?" he asked.

" Nothing. Look I'm not in the mood for a speech about how it's never too late to fight or to go home," Lily sighed.

" You must know that I am sorry for your brother and Galen Kingsmill's deaths."

" So then you understand why I can't go back to England," Lily replied.

" I'm sorry to admit that I do not. But if you are adamant about not returning to England, then I must inform you that I've asked Marcus Clarke to arrange a place in his old school for you. I may no longer be your teacher but I do care for your education," Professor Dumbledore dared to explain.

" What's the point?" Lily asked.

" When I first met you Lily, you reminded me so much of your mother; driven and filled with hope. The girl in front of me lacks both. I do not know why you've chosen to leave England, but I do know that you can hope again. Consider my offer," Professor Dumbledore implored.

Lily was quiet and looked out the window behind him. There was a trail of skyscrapers dipping low and a mess of a sky behind them.

" James killed Galen."

" Mr. Potter lives in a world of darkness. I'd hoped you could show him some light."

Lily didn't speak. All she could see was the glow of inhumane thirst in James's eyes as he watched her. All she could feel was her heart breaking as he killed and destroyed in her name.

" We're losing the war," Lily finally sighed. " I thought I could fight but I can't- not without the sun."

" I'm not asking you to fight. I'm asking you to go back to school. I think being around people your age will remind you what hope is," Professor Dumbledore explained.

Lily chewed on her lip and wrinkled her nose with defeat. " I'll try it but I can't make promises about staying," she gave in.

Professor Dumbledore smiled and walked towards her. There was a slight limp to his step and Lily looked up with a swallow.

" I've got a few requests. No one here can know who I am- I can't be Lily Gastor or Evans here," Lily started.

" Understandable," Dumbledore answered.

Lily nodded and tucked one of her clumps of her behind her ear. " Bishop can't know I'm here too. I can't face him," Lily continued. She looked at the ceiling and missed the stars painfully. A flash of the night sky in the Alps crossed in her mind and Lily pressed down the past.

" I don't know if I can be normal anymore," Lily admitted.

" If I may, I do not think you have ever been anything normal," Professor Dumbledore mused.

" I need answers Professor. Answers that you've got and no one else has any odds of knowing," Lily pressed.

" You want to know where Zeus's Wrath will be next," Dumbledore answered. Lily's mouth fell slightly and he smiled before speaking.

" I heard of the recent large donation to the Athenian School of Sorcery to help rebuild. After giving out that much money, I doubt you have enough to find the next sight of the lightning."

" It was my fault James came there and destroyed it," Lily mumbled.

Dumbledore watched her with something close to sadness and Lily clenched her fists; she did not need his pity.

" Marcus Clarke is one of the best Charms Wizards I've met in years. He's a first rank auror and has managed to duel a number of wizards that would compete with Alastor Moody. I've asked him for a favor. He'll be tutoring you to master some skills. Should he think you're fit, he will bring you to meet me and then I will give you your answers," Dumbledore finally spoke.

Lily frowned and felt a cage forming around her. " The scowling man who dragged me in here?" she demanded. " He probably snaps at dark wizards until they beg for death."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with amusement and he cleared his throat. There was a new set of wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. Large pits dug into the skin under his eyes and he dragged his finger to his beard.

" Those are my conditions Lily. It's up to you if you want to find the location of the lightning bolt."

Clenching her jaw Lily raised her chin and met his eyes with fury in hers. She'd been tricked into thinking that he was looking out for her. All Dumbledore wanted was to gain something for himself.

She could go to the black markets in the city and try and threaten it out of someone. But the odds were that the people who had her answers knew much more spells than her; dangerous spells that too.

Dumbledore was her best option but Lily had no idea what he'd want from her training with Marcus Clarke. He could want her to learn plate spinning for Circe's sake.

" What exactly am I supposed to learn?" Lily asked. Dumbledore's eyes shone when he realized that he'd worn her down enough.

" Mr. Clarke will explain that to you," he replied as he opened the door and led Lily outside. The lights in the hallway were bright as Lily trudged after Dumbledore. The only person waiting in the large room was Marcus Clarke and he had a scowl on his face as he took her in.

" Introductions are in order," Dumbledore noted. He glanced Lily in the eyes and she threw her arm out. There was an ugly scar from the night Professor Gladstone died that rippled over her wrist and across to her inner arm.

" Rose Galen," she greeted with a loud painful smile. Marcus Clarke shook her hand and Lily struggled not to wince when his grip got especially tight.

" Marcus Clarke," he answered. There was a gleam in his green eyes that made Lily think that the next few weeks were going to be hell.

After dragging Lily through Wizarding New York, Marcus Clarke forced her in the direction of a large building that looked like a library. Only the griffins in front of it were spewing green fire.

" Manhattan's Enchantment Academy. You're enrolled in classes I thought would actually do something useful for what Albus asked me to teach you," he explained.

" What did he ask you to teach me?" Lily asked. She noticed that he'd called Dumbledore by his first name and Marcus looked straight ahead before walking up the stairs.

" Something dangerous- something a spoiled brat such as you would not understand," he answered. Lily felt her heart still in her chest and looked up to him.

" I've heard of your family. Your lot owns some of the best artwork in Greece," he explained.

Lily nodded and stuffed her hands into her pocket. It was better to be Greek Aristocracy than who she actually was. They walked up the stairs and Marcus opened the door. Inside was what seemed like an ordinary library but after being dragged to the back, Lily discovered that it was located over a large labyrinth, a labyrinth where the elite wizarding kings and queens of New York sent their children.

Marcus dragged her into one of the doors and Lily could see a large open pavilion with tables set around it. He seemed familiar enough with the school.

" Did you go here?" she asked.

" Thirteen years ago." He answered stiffly.

" You do look old enough to be one of the ghosts," Lily answered in a drawl. She dodged one of the floating creatures and followed him towards a door that was covered in two crossed swords.

Marcus knocked and turned to her. "I pulled a lot of strings to get you into this school. They don't take your kind too often," he explained.

" What's my kind?" Lily asked.

" Lying destructive witches," he answered. Before Lily could control herself, her hand was flying for her wand, which he'd grudgingly returned and he caught her by the wrist and forced her into the wall.

His eyes flashed with diluted anger and Lily hissed as he towered over her with a disdainful expression. " Not fond of the truth?" he asked in an arrogant tone.

But all Lily could see was Cassius. His lips pulled into a smile as he stepped towards James. He knew he was going to die but still did it. She killed him and destroyed everything; Selena was right.

" Get your hands off me," she spat. His other hand dug painfully into her neck and he watched her with something akin to complete hate. Before Lily could say anything, there was warmth at her neck and she watched as his eyes darkened and the veins around them turned black.

A hellish blue fire rose to his irises and Lily managed to shove him away as bluebell flames rose from his hands.

Fear and panic drilled into her spine and Lily fell to the ground and clawed at the wall trying to get away. Her own magic was weak enough that she could push its pathetic attempt to escape down with ease.

" You're like me," Lily rasped. He banished the flames and his eyes settled before he crossed his arms over his strong chest.

" Why did you think Dumbledore asked me to train you?" he demanded before the door opened. A woman walked through and her eyes took in the scene with slight cold amusement.

" Auror Clarke I'm sorry about your mother," she said before pulling him in for a tight embrace. There was something to how her hands landed on his back that made Lily look away. She could imagine James's hands around her waist holding all of her broken pieces together. Confusion bit at her heart as she filled that memory with all the hate she had for him. He stole her sun- she was in the dark.

" Thank you," he said as they separated. Glancing down his nose at Lily, she managed to stand and land lightly on her feet with the air of wealth. The woman's eyes trailed down her figure and paused at the visible scars on her arms and chest.

" This is the new student I was speaking of," he started. " Rose has an affinity for dueling that would combat even my brother's skills."

Pressing brown eyes met Lily's and she was offered a hand. " To you I am Professor Rent, I teach advanced healing here," she introduced. " We'll get you settled into the School of Dueling's boarding rooms before I speak to you in the morning regarding classes," she explained.

Barely understanding anything the woman said, Lily nodded and looked at Marcus Clarke. He was watching her with a bored expression and met her gaze with a raised brow. "Rose will be working with me for her individual studies every afternoon. I've got to head back to the auror offices before midnight so this is where I'll leave you. I'll assume her luggage has been sent to her rooms," he finished.

" Of course. It's been a pleasure to have you on our campus again. We'll set up a room for Miss Galen's individual studies before tomorrow," Professor Rent answered. Lily watched as the bitter man walked down the hall towards where they entered and Professor Rent cleared her throat.

" Come along Miss Galen, most students will be asleep in your dorm by now but I'm sure we can set you up for the night."

Lily followed her through the confusing halls and wondered how she'd be able to find her way around. A pang sounded in her mind; Hogwarts fit her head like a glove but this school felt odd around her. The walls seemed too tall and wide and were covered in portraits like the walls of Hogwarts, but most of the figures were not familiar.

" Here at the Manhattan's Enchantment Academy students choose their individual studies after testing in grade 10. Your peers have one year of an advantage on you although few qualify for dueling magic studies," Professor Rent listed as they walked.

" There's only two other students in it for your year. Due to its size, we usually put the residents of it with the healing and more outgoing studies. I'm afraid to say you won't be sharing a dorm with any of the history studies students."

" How do classes work?" Lily asked.

" Usually there's a path for each study. Dueling students typically go into either the auror program or occasionally the Department of Otherworld studies- it's similar to the English Department of Mysteries. You'll be in classes that include, Dark Arts Studies, Healing Magic, Advanced Draught Brewing, Dueling, Charmwork, and your individual studies in the afternoon which are guided by a mentor. I'm rather curious as how Auror Clarke agreed to mentor you," she said with a probing tone.

Lily looked away and pretended to examine the walls. They reached the dorms within a few minutes. Professor Rent stood in front of a wall filled with framed newspapers and walked to the center one. Lily could barely see the ancient parchment and the woman pressed on the glass. She watched as a part of the wall slid back and a light came from inside.

" You'll be sharing your room with three other girls. I'm not too sure if students are still awake," Professor Rent explained as she led her inside. The dorm had an air of classic elegance to it and wealth. Lily eyed the thick window curtains and the set up that was alien to her. It wasn't anything like the Gryffindor dorms.

The room was made for students with special talents, and it was obvious. The walls were lined with either bookshelves or a collection of dark artifacts that should not have been available for teenagers. What shocked Lily was the water fountain in the center of the room. The floor was made of glass and beneath it she could see the water go into multiple pathways around the room. Couches and tables were pushed back in a perimeter around the bookshelves and left empty space in the center of the room. From the scorch marks on the ground, Lily knew that this was a location of spell work.

She was too busy admiring the work of the common room to notice that there was a pair of students until a spell flew by her hair and hit the wall behind her. Lily finally looked up and saw that a girl and boy were standing close to each other. But their movements were quick and fluid- they were dueling but it seemed as though they were dancing.

Her mouth became dry as she watched the tall willowy girl leaned back into a flip and the boy lunged forward. He shot a purple spell at her without speaking and the girl rolled out of the way. The spell hit some invisible wall that the boy shot from his wand and hit the girl's arm. She cursed loudly and brushed her sweat-covered black hair back before retaliating.

" Mr. Clarke and Miss Greenstone dueling hours ended at eight," Professor Rent exclaimed. Both students looked over to her and Lily with slightly different expressions. The girl seemed embarrassed but the boy was smirking.

" Sorry Mellie, it's just that Anthem here wanted some extra training before our test on Friday," the boy drawled. His tone was filled with enough arrogance and danger that Lily could almost see a pair of hazel eyes in place of his brilliant blue eyes.

" Mr. Clarke speak like that again and it will be two detentions. You're lucky that Miss Galen is new here and needs an escort to help her to classes. Miss Greenstone you'll be serving detention Tuesday afternoon," Professor Rent answered coolly.

She slipped a hand on Lily's shoulder and Lily swallowed before looking up with a loose expression. The girl was tall with deep black hair and skin the color of wood. Her warm brown eyes were spread in a smile of greeting. The boy on the other hand looked at her with complete indifference. His hand reached for his light blonde hair and his nose looked as though it'd seen its fair share of fistfights. But the crooked shape did nothing to prevent his wholesome looks from forming a semblance of handsome.

" Mr. Clarke and Miss Greenstone this is Rose Galen, she's joining the dueling studies, before attending The Athenian School for Sorcery. Miss Greenstone please help situate Miss Galen into your dorms. I will see the three of you at breakfast," Professor Rent declared.

She left without even a glance back at Lily. She was left to the pair of students. Both seemed to be weighing her up and Lily finally decided she had enough.

" I'll just show myself to the dorms," she muttered before brushing past them towards the labeled doors. She could hear them whispering behind her and yearned to reach for the wand Marcus Clarke returned to her and hex them.

But she couldn't- Lily promised Dumbledore to give this school a chance. But he did trick her into agreeing to control her magic; something Lily never wanted to learn.

It was easy enough to settle into the only bed with no personal belongings strewn around it. It was hard to fall asleep. But sleep came and Lily wished it hadn't.

* * *

" _Looks just like you," James murmured into her ear. Lily turned around and smiled; there were tree clippings in his hair. Although their efforts to decorate were good, the house elves were more than willing to follow them around the Manor and assist. It was two days of solid work and Lily collapsed into a couch to look up at the tree in front of them. It was her first Christmas tree in a very longtime. James slumped next to her and she yawned before leaning into his side. _

_When she'd agreed to his plans, Lily knew that James was suspicious. After all for the first two days of her stay in Potter Manor she'd been cold and aloof. But now Lily saw no reason to hurt him; James did keep a lot of effort into planning this. _

" _We took turns with the star when I was a kid. I was always too young so Pericles or Lucian would do it in my place," Lily admitted. " Even when I was old enough they claimed I was too delicate." _

" _It was just me, mum, and dad. My parents were mad about Christmas," James replied. Lily leaned her head on his shoulder and he reached for the ends of her hair She shot him an amused look. _

" _Marlene had this theory," Lily started. James's fingers were dancing through her hair and he wasn't listening as she continued. " You've got a hair fetish." _

_Instead of looking embarrassed, James merely smirked and tugged on one of her long locks lazily__._

_ " You've got me there," he drawled._

" _Seriously?" Lily asked. " Not the most typical fetish out there," she teased. _

_James raised his eyebrow and stretched his legs out over the couch. He nimbly pulled Lily on top of them and she was practically sitting in his lap. _

" _So what's your deep dark fetish?" he asked. Lily swallowed and shrugged before reaching up and letting his soft dark locks slip between her fingers. James shivered and his eyes darkened as she toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck._

" _Necks," Lily answered in a teasing tone. James frowned and placed his hands languidly on her waist. _

" _Or maybe it's your hands," she continued. Her pale hands trailed down from his neck to his shoulders before dancing over to where his hands were. James watched her with an amused look before Lily leaned in and whispered something in his ear. She drew back and he gaped at her._

" _Are you serious?" he asked in a strained tone. Lily shrugged before pulling off him and he growled before standing and following her through the room. " This isn't fair Christmas! You can't tell a man something like that without confirming it!" _

" _You'll just have to test it," Lily teased. James let out a raspy laugh and leaned against the doorframe of the room. _

" _If this is true then I'm never going to wear a shirt again," he vowed before grabbing Lily and pulling her against his chest. Rolling her eyes Lily felt a light flush on her skin as James entwined his fingers with hers. _

" _You're perfect," he declared before reaching for her hair. Lily laughed and pulled away before his fingers could graze her locks. _

" _You're awfully annoying," she retorted. _

" _Annoying in a persistent way?" James asked. Rolling her eyes Lily shrugged and he smiled widely. It was one of the smiles that she never wanted to forget._

The dream wasn't a nightmare but maybe it as well ought to have been one.

There wasn't room for introductions as by the time Lily woke, most of her dorm was still asleep. The girl from the night before was only waking as well and saw her.

" It's okay the healing students don't have classes until later. We start pretty early," she explained in a low voice. Lily nodded and slid out the bed. She was still dressed in her old jeans and dirty tank top. After taking a long shower and washing her hair thoroughly, Lily managed to find clothing in the luggage Marcus Clarke sent with her.

Apparently the uniform for this school wasn't much of a uniform. Lily frowned as she pulled on the tight fitted leggings and the slinky shirt that clung to her small frame. There was a black jacket to put over the shirt and a pair of black boots meant for battle.

" We're given uniforms based on our studies. We've got Dueling everyday so they decided it was better to let us dress like this than continuously ruin more and more clothing from scorches," Anthem explained.

She looked like a bloody model in her uniform. Lily watched with envy as she pulled her long rich hair back into a tight ponytail. Her red hair was too short to pull back. Even being a witch did little to help it grow back. If two months ago it was at her jaw, now it was coming down to the tips of her scarred collarbones.

Looking into a nearby mirror, Lily was pleased to see that most of her scars were covered. She looked haggard and worn. The sets of bags under her eyes looked horribly permanent. Her skin was paler than usually and looked almost translucent in the light of the room. Worse of all was the bleak empty glaze to her eyes. The only feature Lily treasured was dead.

" Isn't it dangerous to let teens duel every day?" Lily asked as she faced Anthem. Anthem was pulling a bag over her shoulders and Lily rifled through her luggage to see a set of books and a notebook. She frowned at the muggle pens and reluctantly slipped them into a bag.

" I suppose it would be if we were selected for the exact reason of becoming aurors. At least that's what Connor wants to do," Anthem revealed as she led Lily back to the common room. Lily could see the boy from the night before there. His eyes were on the waterfall and his uniform didn't do much to hide the lean muscles under his arms and chest.

" We've got Charmwork in thirty minutes," he muttered before stuffing his hands into his pockets. Lily met his eyes and felt as though they were rifling through her memories.

He stretched his hand out and Lily looked at it before meeting his eyes. " I'm Connor Clarke," he introduced.

" Are you related to Marcus?" Lily asked as she reached for his hand. He pulled it back with a frown.

" He's my brother," Connor answered. Lily nodded remembering the cover of the newspaper she'd seen the day before. Connor Clarke had the same blue eyes that the President had, only his were filled with emotion.

Lily waited for him to put his arm out again but he didn't. Instead he turned and stalked forward. Anthem followed him and Lily sighed following the pair. She wasn't looking forward to this at all.

It turned out that Charmwork was similar to Charms. Lily got the handle of it within her first day. Most of the classes she was taking seemed close enough to classes from Hogwarts. The only issue with Charmwork was that it consisted of Charms and Transfiguration together. Her transfiguration skills only got worse after months without learning it properly.

After lunch, they did not serve pumpkin juice; Professor Rent escorted Lily to the room where her individual studies would be. Marcus Clarke stood inside looking at the walls.

" I'll leave you two," Professor Rent stated as she shut the door and left Lily with Marcus. He didn't turn and Lily looked at him with an agitated eye. She had to pass whatever damned lesson he was going to put her through.

" Free it," he ordered.

Those two words, utter so crisply and with all the demanding tone in the world, forced a frown onto Lily's face.

" No."

" We're going to be here until you do so."

" I'm not letting it go- fire is dangerous," Lily hissed back. Marcus Clarke turned and narrowed his eyes.

" Albus told me enough- you learned how to repress it. Your teachers vowed that there is no way to control it. By doing so they were sealing your tomb. You can get rid of it but we live in a world where controlling it is so much better," he explained.

" I'll play along with this little game… I'll learn how to control it but the second Professor Dumbledore gives me the next location of Zeus's Wrath I will finish what I started," Lily answered.

He was silent and his green eyes bore into hers for a moment. He ran a hand through his caramel locks and raised his hand. Blue flames shot out and rested on his palm. He banished the fire with the same ease that summoning it took.

" I didn't have a teacher. I learned on my own," he started.

Lily struggled not to show how impressive that was on her face. She settled with swallowing and sitting on the wood floor. He stood over her and crossed his arms.

" Free it."

And Lily tried when he turned around to flip through a book. She tried so hard to pull the fire out of her heart and let it go. She tried to take all of her emotions and force it out. But no flames came. Instead she was left clawing at memories that wouldn't let her go.

Cassius's eyes…

Galen's screams…

Selena's hatred…

They bubbled up from her heart and choked her from the inside out. They pushed her magic away and she couldn't reach it.

Lily drowned.

* * *

" I'm an auror Rose. I could be doing much better things than trying to teach you. Lives are being wasted for you," Marcus said three days later.

Lily stood and walked for the door. Her hand was on the handle when fire raced for her back and she did nothing to stop it. It licked at her hair and she whirled around with a dull expression.

" Do you want me to be sorry?" she questioned in a dry tone. " Because no matter how small you make me feel it will never overcome the things I've done."

Her days seemed endless in torture. Anthem followed after Connor like a lost puppy and Lily ignored most of the other occupants of her dorm. She spent her meals exchanging glares with Connor.

There was something broken in his eyes that made her know he was like her. He could be Galen but Lily fought so hard to never let him become Galen.

She left lunch feeling emptier than before it and walked to the room where Marcus trained her. He wasn't there but Connor was. He stood in the middle of the room and frowned as she entered.

" Who are you?" he demanded as he walked towards her. Something in Lily's dead heart felt alive as he stood in front of her and towered over her. She closed her eyes as he grabbed her shoulder.

" My brother doesn't help anyone- he turned me down so why would he take you on? What's so special about some stupid orphan?"

" How do you know that?" Lily demanded in anger. A smirk lit up on Connor's face and he leaned forward. He smelled like the outside. Lily hadn't left this bloody school in two weeks.

" You speak in your sleep and Mary was more than willing to let some of the things slip. _Cassius! I'm sorry- _Mary says you say new names every night. Do people around you just die? She also told me you're also whimpering James- what'd he do kill your parents?" he asked in a cruel voice.

There was a blaring roar in her lungs and Lily's magic rose out of her body. She felt the fire burn up into her hands and Connor's eyes widened as he stumbled back.

" Don't speak about things you do not understand," she hissed as fire pooled into her hands. It was so weak this time… so easy to control…

" You're like Mark," Connor exclaimed. Lily frowned and before she could speak, a pair of hands grabbed her own. She lashed out and met Marcus's rich eyes as they rippled into fire.

" Stop!" he growled.

Lily wanted to give in. It was weak but the voice was in her head. Burn them- burn everything. She could see James saying those words that ended Cassius's life. She could see her fire nearly killing Michael. The smell of his burning flesh made her vomit and pass out.

When Lily came around, she was in the room with Marcus standing in front of her. Connor was gone. There was a frown stretching across his face.

" What did Connor say?" he asked. Lily wiped her mouth and groped her pockets for her wand before cleaning the disgusting substance away from her. She swallowed and reached into her hair. She hadn't used her fire since killing Evan Rosier.

" I can't do this," Lily rasped. " I can't go through that again."

Marcus turned around towards the wall that was covered in books. " I was going to kill myself. Connor… he's got a burn scar on his arm. I did that when I was a little older than you. If I hurt him then there was no controlling it. So I stole some belladonna from the potions supplies and planned it all out. Wrote the letter and everything."

" Why didn't you?" Lily asked. He turned around and there was an utter look of nostalgia in his eyes.

" I was too afraid of dying. If I couldn't kill myself I settled on figuring out how to control it. It took me a while and I'll never be able to take back hurting Connor but I think I like the way things turned out," Marcus finished.

Lily felt tears at her eyes- not for his story but for hers. " I didn't hurt someone. I killed people- I killed too many people."

She waited for Marcus to say it wasn't her fault but he never did. Instead he extended an arm and looked down at her with pressed lips.

" Well then you owe it to them to learn how to control your fire. I owed it to Connor so whoever's lives you took you owe it to them."

When Lily stumbled into the common room late that night, Connor was sitting by the waterfall waiting for her. His blue eyes were filled with a piercing emotion she couldn't identify.

" You're here for Mark." The words resounded around the room and Lily brushed her short hair back. His eyes followed the ends of it and Lily shuddered remembering having James's fingers tangled into it.

" He's here for me," Lily answered. Connor looked completely stunned and she tried walking past him. Cold hands grabbed her shoulders and whirled her around.

" You should be afraid of me," Lily barked.

" I grew up with Marcus- I'm not afraid of a little fire," he replied with a rallying tone.

" What do you want?' Lily asked in a quiet tone. She was tired. For weeks she could block the past out. But now it was coming back to her. James's laugh was coming back and Lily wanted nothing but not to hear it.

" To apologize. I've been an asshole to you."

" I'm not denying it."

Connor's lips pulled up into a slightly salty smile and he coughed.

" Look I've had a rough month and I guess I took it out on the new girl. We don't get new students here- especially beautiful ones," Connor drawled. He seemed to think she was going to swoon at his feet for that statement. But Lily had felt James Potter press his lips over her eyelashes and cheeks and neck and kiss her into the stars.

" We all go through rough times but that doesn't make it justified for you to act so cruelly," Lily answered evenly.

" My mom died," Connor whispered hoarsely. And Lily laughed. She laughed a cold laugh that would make Sirius feel proud.

" I'm an orphan with three dead brothers and I've done my fair share of bitching. But I learned where to draw the line early," Lily spat before shoving past him into her dorm.

The lights were on and some of the healing students were doing each other's nails. They stopped as she stood in the doorway and crossed her arms over her dark uniform.

" Which one of you is Mary?" Lily asked in a loose purr. She reached for her wand and Anthem looked up from her books. She'd never threatened someone but Lily was very aware that her roommates were cold towards her for a reason.

A girl with dyed blonde hair and fake tan skin stood. Her mousy brown eyes met Lily's and she looked pinched in the face. She was the leader of the group. Lily had overheard her gossiping about other students almost every night.

" I am, " she answered in a giggly tone. Lily smiled wickedly and twirled her wand between her fingers.

" I was expelled from Beaxabatons for putting four students into comas that lasted a month," Lily started. She hadn't mentioned that all she'd done was drink them under the table. Benjy Auclair spiked their drinks and she only found out much later. " I think if you keep telling Connor Clarke about my sleeping habits I could do a lot worse to you."

Mary palled but with a glance back at her friends, smiled evilly. " What are you going to do? Drown me in your tears?" she taunted.

A growl ripped through Lily's mouth and she could see every mean girl she'd stumbled across in Mary's place. For Circe's sake, she'd once been what Mary was. So it was beyond easy to tear her apart.

" Look Mouse, I pity you. No one can do that shoddy of a dye job without being severely mentally limited. So I understand if social conduct isn't your forte. But why don't I bring this down to you and your tiny ways- we're living in a war. People die and some of us didn't grow up in a sanctuary. I'll be sure to put a silencing charm on my bed but instead of finding out from the biggest wanker to grace this school that I've been having nightmares, you could have told me. But I understand it's out of your abilities," Lily intoned.

When she was done, Mary's face was screwed up into an expression of complete and utter anger. Her jaw was clenched and she pulled her wand out.

" What are you going to do? Run off to Gale- oh wait he's dead," Mary jeered. Lily lifted her wand, happy to hex someone for the first time in months.

" I heard you hexed Mary MacDonald so badly she refuses to leave the Nurse's Office," a voice called as its owner jogged up to Lily. She didn't need to turn to know it was Connor.

" Maybe I could show you what I did so you can join her," Lily replied in a nonchalant tone. Connor grimaced.

" Mary's not my type of nurse. She'd try to rub her nasty spray on tan all over me to get invited to more government parties," Connor answered. " We used to date and she liked dressing up too much."

" You two seem perfect for each other. Just enough IQ to seem almost mentally stable," Lily cooed. Connor rolled his eyes and threw his arm around her shoulder.

" Sorry Rosie but I don't believe in monogamy. Mary caught me cheating six times before I ended it," he revealed. Lily slapped his arm away and pulled her jacket off. His eyes widened as he took her in.

" I'm going to have to burn the disease off this," Lily complained. He smiled and roughly pulled her into his chest. Lily squirmed against him and finally managed to elbow him in the armpit.

" Feisty," he called as she walked away into their Advanced Draught Brewing classroom. Lily shook her head; she wasn't sure if she wanted Connor Clarke close to her. His smirks and his attitude reminded her painfully of Michael's teasing eyes and Jason's endless smiles.

* * *

" Leave your stuff here… We're going out today," Marcus announced. After three week cooped up inside of the school, Lily was more than ready for a chance to escape.

" It's about time," Lily answered back. He looked back at her as they walked down the hall with a withering gaze. Lily winked at him and sighed as they left the school and entered Wizarding New York.

" I've missed the sky," she murmured before following him through the city. Lily hadn't gotten much of a chance to explore, as she wasn't here to find home. If anything, she was trying to stay distant from this city.

" Outside of babysitting you," Marcus started as Lily rolled her eyes. " I'm an auror. I've been reassigned from the Vanishing Illness stuff to the minor cases of Dark Wizards from England called-"

" Death Eaters," Lily answered in a voice a little less loud than a whisper. Marcus nodded and they waited at a light. Muggles seemed to lead lives here that moved all too fast. Lily wanted the slow crackle of James's fireplace and the soft way he smiled at her as they danced as though they were immortal.

" Yes," Marcus started as they continued down the street. " We've gotten a lead on their new appearance here."

Lily swallowed this information before they reached a muggle car. She gave Marcus a smirk as she appraised the gleaming sports car and ran her finger along its surface.

" Guilty pleasure?" she asked in an innocent tone.

" Get in the car."

Lily smirked the entire car ride as Marcus fiddled with the radio and his fingers thumped against the steering wheel to the beat of the songs. He pulled the hood down and the late April air engulfed Lily fully. She brushed her hair back and leaned into her seat.

" So what's it like being the President's son?" she asked as she propped her legs up. A surprisingly strong arm swiped them down.

" My decision for Independent Studies made the cover of a newspaper," he offered. Lily nodded and looked around; they were almost out of the city and the sun was fading low into the skyline. She remembered Adam's affinity for photography and longed to capture the sun.

" Is it hard- killing people?" Lily questioned in a softer tone. She never asked anyone in England this question for the sake of keeping her past down. But Lily had killed and those deaths were eating her soul and burning it.

Marcus's eyes loosened slightly from his eternal disgruntle look and for a second Lily could almost imagine him as handsome. To her, Marcus Clarke always came off as angry and moody. But now in the fading sun and with wind tossing his hair back, he looked oddly familiar.

He wasn't built like the stereotypical male was her final conclusion. Marcus's form seemed oddly light and almost fairy-like. His bones structure seemed almost glass and he was angles and sharp contours everywhere. His skin was pale to an almost blinding degree.

There was a systematic way to how his hair whipped in the wind. Looking close, Lily could make out some grey strands peaking through the layers of brown and blonde. But they only made him seem more mature.

It was Marcus Clarke's eyes that made it so hard for Lily to look at him. They were shaped perfectly and surrounded by average lashes. But the deep shade of rich grassy green made her want to squirm.

" It's the hardest thing I've ever done," he admitted. The beat from his fingers paused before picking up. " It's hard because killing doesn't make you feel powerful- it makes you feel inhumane. It makes you want to be inhumane."

The sky was darkening around them and Lily could see the stars coming out. She wondered if Jason was in Astronomy looking at the North Star, as there was a pull in her gut.

" What you did to Connor was nothing compared to what I've done…"

Lily shuddered as she watched memories flicker by in her mind. They seemed to pound at her eyes and shoot into her blood like stars; Michael's screams and Evan dying and her grandparents' silent deaths.

Marcus didn't speak and she didn't. He got off the highway and pulled over towards a gas station. The headlights hit the wooded area in front of them as Marcus took a shaking breath.

" Tell me," he finally implored. There was something desperate in his voice- something that the stony auror seemed incapable of. But it was night.

" I can't."

But a tear slipped out of Lily's eye and she roughly brushed it away. Finding whatever was wrong seemed harder than anything she'd done before.

" We're here. Through those woods is the Death Eater camp," Marcus instructed. He unbuckled his seatbelt and pulled the key from the engine before Lily copied his motions with shaking arms and legs.

She closed the door to her side of the car and Marcus looked up in time to see the red lines around her eyes.

" Let's go," he said gruffly. Lily nodded and followed him into the thicket. Marcus brushed back the tree's limbs so she could get through. A light drizzle started and Lily felt her hair cling to the back of her neck as she continued on.

There was a bright light coming through the spaces the branches and budding leaves made. They walked for what seemed like seconds but Marcus held his hand out and knelt down the forest ground. Lily wrinkled her nose at the wet dirt and slid down slowly.

Marcus leaned forward and pointed to the small clearing in front of them. Lily uncomfortably moved closer to him and felt heat radiating off of his lean form. His breath was sharp in her ears as she gazed at the scene.

There were death eaters here and the space that her heart occupied seemed to fall as she watched them patrol around a pond. Their wands occasional rose towards the forest but fell back down with a systematic pattern.

" Something's in that pond," Marcus hissed near her ear. Lily shifted to get a better view.

" Do you know what it is?" she asked. He looked upset as he gazed at the unnormal black water and the lack of movement from it. There was no reflection of the full moon over it.

" I hope to Rebecca Nurse it isn't what I think it is," Marcus muttered. Lily smiled at his coinage of a Salem Witch and he leaned forward.

" I need to get closer… Stay here," he ordered before disappearing. Lily turned and her mouth fell slightly as she saw that Marcus was long gone. She turned and jumped when she saw a spell hit the three patrolling death eaters. They fell in unison and Marcus crept from the underbrush towards the pond.

A death eater moved from the nearby camp and Lily cursed under her breath as she fumbled for her wand. It was too late.

" Auror!" he shouted. Marcus didn't look towards the death eater but instead reached into the pond.

" Run!" Lily screamed as she stood and hit the nearest death eater with a stunning spell. More turned to her and Marcus looked up with a withering expression. He reached for his wand but looked back at the pond.

" Marcus we have to go!" Lily shouted as she took down another. He finally snapped out of it and began dueling. Marcus Clarke in battle was more painful than watching Cassius die- he danced through the scene with the same elegance James had. They both lived for battle and that was clear as he took down an entire group by hitting a tree with a spell.

" Confringo," Lily shouted as four death eaters came towards her. She hit a tree and the ground around exploded. Her body flew back and she landed in the black water of the pond. It wasn't a pond- it was too deep.

Lily began swimming to the surface but something grabbed her ankles. She looked down and saw a pair of pitch black eyes grinning at her as the owner tugged her ankles down. Lily struggled but another form grabbed her arm and pulled on her. She thrashed out and could feel her lungs screaming for water.

Something bit her arm and Lily felt bile in her gut as she looked up to see the full moon above the waves of water. The creatures pulled her down and she struggled weakly before finally opening her mouth.

A foul substance that wasn't entirely water entered her lungs and Lily squirmed and fought the monsters- she wasn't ready to die. But they pulled her down and she couldn't move. More and more latched onto her and Lily finally felt her heart begin to dull. Everything hurt and the foul substance filled her lungs fully.

" Come on Christmas," a voice said from next to her. Lily looked over weakly and saw James next to her. His eyes were filled with passion and emotion as he watched her.

" Fight Lily dammit," he exclaimed. She smiled weakly at him and he ran a hand through his hair furiously.

" I love you James," she croaked.

" Please Lily- don't give up yet," he begged. The arms clawed at her skin and pulled her lower.

" I love you Lily- I can't live without you," James pleaded. Lily stared at his hazel eyes and smiled knowing that they were the last things she'd see.

" I'll kill myself if you die," James finally declared. Lily's eyes widened and he smirked at her. " Did you ever think that I'd want to live in a world where I can't hear you laugh?"

And there was a fire in his eyes and Lily felt hers explode inside of her. Red flames batted off of her figure like a firestorm and the creatures hissed as their hands burned. They let go of her and Lily lost control of her magic as it rushed out and made the water so hot it began to sizzle.

James faded as the flames engulfed everything and the creatures screamed in horror. Someone grabbed her and James's eyes were gone. Her fire fought against his arms but Lily gasped as a force as equally powerful as it met it.

She looked up and met Marcus's rich green eyes. He dragged her from the pit she'd made and threw her body onto the ground next to them. Raising his wand, Marcus hit her with a spell and Lily felt the black liquid in her lungs come out. She spat it out and coughed horribly. Her throat felt like it was burned.

She finally got some control and Marcus hovered over her body with worry and fear in his eyes.

" Stop the fire- you can do it," he quickly asked. Lily looked around and could see flames eating the forest around them. Smoke rose to the sky and fire was in the pit next to them.

She tried to follow his directions but there was nothing inside of her. It was as though she'd hit the bottom of whatever energy she had and went further.

Her body began to shake and Lily felt pain start in her arm. She looked at it and could see the veins around the bite of the creature turning black.

" You let an inferi bite you?" Marcus demanded. He looked at her arm and cursed loudly. Pain so bad that tears streamed down Lily's cheeks came. She fought to live for James but it wasn't enough.

Lily coughed and watched as blood splattered on the ground next to her. Marcus growled and slammed his fist in the ground.

" No you don't get to die!" he shouted. There was something frenzied and powerful in his eyes that made Lily know she only had moments left. And in those moments she thought of James because even with him being so cruel and monstrous, Lily loved him. She loved him and that was reason she was hurting. She loved the murderer of her brother.

She loved the man who cursed her to live in darkness for the rest of her life

In those moments a set of familiar green eyes flew in her mind as realization hit her like the wind.

Marcus pulled her into his arms and Lily bobbled in his grip as he sprinted through the trees. Her clothing was tattered and splinters dug into her skin painfully.

" Come on Lily don't die," he exclaimed as he ran faster and faster. Lily looked up to the sky and could feel the bite of the inferi pulling her down, completely unaware of Marcus calling her by her real name. Her heart fell and she looked up to the sky. The North Star was high in the sky and she gasped at its glory.

" Take my body to James Potter- tell him I needed him more than air," Lily croaked. She grabbed Marcus's shirt and forced him to stop running. She forced him to meet her eyes. " Tell him I loved him so much that I would steal the sun and stars and moon for him… Tell James that-"

"James I love you," Lily gasped with all of the conviction of a love-scorned being. Her eyes were on the North Star until they shut.

She couldn't see the light.

Darkness was blinding.

* * *

**Still offering sneak peaks at the next chapter for anyone who reviews!**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	24. Battles

**Chapter 24 Battles**

**(Free Falling)**

* * *

_"Villains!' I shrieked. 'Dissemble no more! I admit the deed! Tear up the planks! Here, here! It is the beating of his hideous heart!"_

Edgar Allen Poe, the Tell-Tale Heart

* * *

Beckett stood out like a giant in the crowd of awaiting parents and siblings. Emmeline smiled as she saw the sign he held over his head. She reached for her luggage and pulled it after her towards him.

She could barely remember writing to him and asking if she could spend the holidays with his family. But Emmeline did remember his surprise visit to her Care of Magical Creatures classroom to make sure she hadn't been imperiused into agreeing to come.

Emmeline heard laughter and looked up to see Gideon and Fabian with Alice and her parents; the entire Prewitt clan gathered for the Easter Holidays in Alice's grandparents' home. Louis Weasley was with his parents and brother. Emmeline caught Molly Weasley's eye and smiled as she continued towards Beckett.

Jason and Michael stood off towards the side. They were speaking in soft tones and Emmeline smiled at them- Jason was going with Michael to France for the holidays. After spending the train ride with them playing exploding snap and exchanging stories, Emmeline's sides still ached from the laughter they had.

Adam and Marlene stood with their parents and Sirius had a tight arm around Marlene's waist. Emmeline was surprised to see Sirius and Adam jokingly shoving each other; leading the dueling club must have allowed them to bond some how.

Adam caught her eye and Emmeline stopped as he walked towards her. She bit her lip and glanced to Beckett who was only a few steps away. He caught her eye and began walking towards her.

" Emma I didn't know you were going home," Adam breathed as he made his way to her. He stood next to her and Emmeline could catch the dullness of his eyes from a mile away. They lost their glow.

" She's not- Vance is staying with my family," Beckett declared as he reached her. He pulled Emmeline in for a huge bear and she smiled as she returned it.

When Beckett put her down, Emmeline looked at the sign in his hand wryly and shoved him.

" Really?"

" Of course- you're my favorite Acromantula Slayer," Beckett replied teasingly. Adam cleared his throat and Beckett looked at him with a curious look in his eyes.

" Adam McKinnon," Adam introduced as he stretched his hand out. Beckett shot Emmeline a sly look and shook Adam's hand. From the sudden appearance of veins in both of their hands, Emmeline knew they were trying to break each other's hands.

" Beckett Scamander," Beckett replied with a wide grin. He let go first and reached for Emmeline's luggage.

" Can Emmeline and I have a moment?" Adam asked as he glanced at Beckett. Emmeline bit her lip as Beckett shot her a look and nodded. He walked towards the Weasley family and threw an arm around Arthur's shoulder.

" So you're staying with him," Adam surmised. There was a hint of hurt in his voice and Emmeline looked down to the ground. Her fingers dug into her palms and Adam reached for them.

" Stop," Emmeline said as she pulled her hands away. " I'm not catatonic Adam… I think I know what's dangerous."

" Really Acromantula Slayer," Adam sneered. " That sounds dangerous."

" It's just a joke."

" So Beckett Scamander… I never thought you'd want to be with someone so…"

" So what?" Emmeline demanded. Adam looked smug as he leaned in.

" He'll get you killed Emma; I kept you safe," Adam answered.

" No. Beckett makes me feel alive- you were killing me," Emmeline hissed. Adam winced and she wanted to take it back. He was still Adam McKinnon, but he wasn't a fairytale anymore.

" So this is it?" asked Adam. There was something child-like to his slump and hopeful gaze.

" I don't know… I think being by myself for the past three months was what I needed. But you hurt me Adam and I don't know if I can go back," Emmeline sighed.

Adam nodded and blinked slowly. There was something final as he raised his hand and brushed it against Emmeline's hair.

" You stopped keeping your hair up," he noted with a smile. A bittersweet feeling crackled in Emmeline's heart and she nodded. " I should go now."

" I'll see you around," Emmeline replied. Adam walked away slowly but the crowds made him disappear.

" So that's your boyfriend," Beckett mused as he came back from the Weasley family. Emmeline shook her head.

" Ex."

Beckett didn't comment on that but instead watched with Emmeline as Marlene swung an arm around Adam's shoulder and laughed as they walked away with their family.

" We should go- my mum made pot roast."

" I've always been fond of pot roast."

" Wait till breakfast- she makes the best scones in the world: puts cinnamon in them and everything."

* * *

The Scamander family lived in a large wooden home on the side of a lake near the outskirts of Edinburgh. A thick wooded area surrounded the house and Emmeline could hear an animal from inside. Emmeline could make out a boat bobbing in the water as Beckett carried her luggage into the house.

" Mum's dying to meet you- she's almost certain that I've made you up," Beckett explained as he opened the door. Artifacts from places Emmeline could hardly even imagine scattered the premises of the house and Beckett dropped her luggage on the ground.

" Beck is that you?" a feminine voice called from inside.

" Beck?" questioned Emmeline in amusement.

Beckett's ears turned red as a woman with the same glowing eyes as him entered the foyer. She smiled pleasantly and looked at Emmeline before her smile stretched. That was much different than the strained look Mrs. McKinnon sent her way when she spent holidays with Adam.

" Mum," Beckett greeted before stretching his arms out for a hug. Mrs. Scamander instead turned to Emmeline and pulled her in for a tight embrace.

" You're even better than what Newt and I thought! Thank Merlin you're real," Mrs. Scamander exclaimed. Emmeline shot Beckett a desperate look but he was busy pouting.

" Mum have a little more faith in me," Beckett protested. Mrs. Scamander let go of Emmeline and gave Beckett a scoff.

" Coming from the boy who tricked us into thinking he was spending time with the neighbor's son while he was off exploring the Brazilian jungle!" she justified. Beckett looked sheepish and Emmeline cracked a grin at this.

" You must be starving- Agrippa knows that train doesn't offer food. I'm afraid Beckett's dad is out by the lake trying to speak with the merpeople again. He's rather upset that they refused to allow him to come down there for one of their festivals," Mrs. Scamander huffed.

" I'll go and get him," Beckett offered. Mrs. Scamander shook her head and Emmeline could make out strands of blonde hair peppered in her grey and silver hair. She wondered if Mrs. Scamander's good looks passed down to Beckett.

" I'll go and get him. You take Emmeline to her room and bring her straight back down for dinner. If I hear anything that doesn't sound like unpacking you'll be sleeping with the merpeople tonight," she threatened.

Emmeline flushed lightly and Beckett swallowed as his mum walked off towards the back of the house. He lifted her trunk and gestured to the staircase.

" We better hurry- the merpeople here aren't as nice as the ones in Hogwarts," he stated. The stairs didn't creak as Emmeline walked up them.

" Dad had this house built while he and mum were in the states. He didn't expect to bring a wife back," Beckett explained.

" They met there?" Emmeline asked in interest.

" Mum went to some progressive school in New York City. She wasn't terribly fond of it though."

Emmeline dodged a large set of antlers on the side of the stairs and Beckett grinned at her from over her trunk.

" Sorry mum and dad are getting old- they like to have reminders of where they've gone," he explained as they reached the second floor. Emmeline could see another staircase curling around the side of the floor.

" Mum and Dad stay on the ground floor so Dad's near the forest. Your room's here," he said as he opened the door to the third door down the hall. Emmeline peaked inside and could see a queen bed in the middle of the room along with a wall covered in books and artifacts.

Her lips twitched as Beckett left her trunk by the dresser. Emmeline walked over to the balcony and could see a large hill rising over the lake in the distance.

The door opened without any noises of protest and Emmeline walked out to view the constantly moving waters of the lake.

She looked around the balcony and saw that it wrapped around to the next room.

" It was my mum's idea," Beckett explained as she saw that his room was only a door away. A low flush filled Emmeline's cheeks and she bit her lip before turning and rocking forward on her heels.

" She does know that we aren't together," Emmeline commented.

" Of course but my mum's always been a tad invasive. She'll spend this week plotting to get us together," Beckett apologized. Emmeline nodded and crossed her arms over her chest.

" Thank you for letting me stay with your family," she finally said. Beckett waved it off.

" Gives me more time to win you over."

" Awfully confident Scamander."

" Only with dangerous girls."

" Even Acromantula Slayers?"

Beckett's lips pulled up at this and he leaned closer to Emmeline. She could catch soft black flakes in his amber eyes as he faced her.

" So you do like the epithet," he declared with a triumphant smile.

Rolling her eyes, Emmeline stepped away and opened the door to her room.

" It's not my first," Emmeline called as Beckett walked with her to dinner. He looked at her in interest but Emmeline decided not to tell him what Hogwarts called her.

For some reason people seemed to forget that she was Gryffindor's Ice Queen when Jason and Michael were around. Maybe there was something about having two gits around that kept the cruel name-calling away.

Or maybe Jason threatened to jinx anyone who called her an ice queen. But either way, Emmeline was happy.

* * *

James stood in front of the townhouse and swallowed hard before walking up the stairs to the door and pulling out the key from his pocket. He shoved it into the lock and the door opened as he pushed on it. The hinges creaked lightly.

The house screamed Lily. The high ceilings and long windows gave room for light to bounce around the white décor. James trailed his finger along a table and lifted one of the delicate seashells on it.

There was a popping sound and he looked down to see a house elf standing in front of him with distrusting eyes.

" You're not Miss Lily," the elf mumbled.

" She left me the key to this house," he answered as he showed the elf the key. Its eyes widened and it nodded in understanding. There was an awkward silence and James noticed with slight amusement that the elf was holding a butter knife with a threatening stance.

" Do you mind if I have some time to look around? I think that's what Lily wanted."

The elf looked unsure but nodded before popping away. James looked down at the key in his hands as he sighed. He found it on his desk with the address next to it. Lily's handwriting seemed haunting.

The soft rug crinkled under his feet as he moved towards the staircase. He climbed it slowly and looked at the bare walls. There wasn't a single photo up but at the top of the stairs was a pile of books. His lips twitched; Lily had a habit of leaving books in a trail.

He could make out a set of double doors and sighed as he opened them. Memories of what happened a year ago flickered in his mind. They shared their first kiss here. James broke Lily's heart in this room.

The doors opened slowly but surely and he stepped into the room. It wasn't messy but there was a certain charm to how Lily's belongings were strewn around it. A large piano sat to his left and James's breath hitched as he trailed his finger on a key.

The soft sound echoed in his mind long after it stopped. There was a deep pain in James's lungs as he stumbled away from the piano's glossy surface. He hit a hard surface and looked up to see a series of photos and items tacked in the space between her desk and wall.

Most were of her and the Gryffindors but a few pictures of places were snuck in. James brushed his finger against one of the Greek seaside house he'd burned before looking down and seeing one of her and Jason when they were kids.

Lily's green eyes were even bigger before and James's lips twitched as he watched Lily's younger self on a training broom with Jason. He could make out a few pictures of her family and even one with Auclair and the Kingsmill family.

James frowned when he caught one of Galen and Lily dancing in the Leaky Cauldron. Lily's head was thrown back in laughter as he dipped her low. He could remember coming back to England and hitting Galen with a killing curse before the Dark Lord summoned him.

James looked through the pictures and felt something in his heartache terribly. He knew the stories behind most of these photos but not all. Licking his dry lips, James took one final survey of the mess of a collage. His eyes paused at one picture but he looked away from Lily's vibrant eyes to her bed. Books were stacked on the ground near it and James frowned as he sat on the edge of her bed.

He missed enough meetings with the Dark Lord to know of the rumors circling. Sirius informed him that someone leaked his rather public relationship with Lily. James had to explain his actions but he didn't know if he could betray Lily like that.

James flopped back and looked at the ceiling. There was a window in it and he could barely make out stars as he looked into it. Reaching out, James felt around for where he dropped his wand but his fingers met a slip of paper. He picked it up and looked at the picture.

He didn't know how Lily had a copy of this but shock rippled in James's veins as he looked at the crumpled photo of himself and Lily a year ago dancing on Christmas. He'd nearly forgotten how small she was. Her nose barely skimmed his chest as she titled her face up and smiled at him. His thumb padded across the surface and a drop fell to the surface. James wiped it away and stuffed the photo into his pocket. He left the house for Godric's Hallow soon after.

* * *

The flowers in James's hand were rather pitiful as he placed them on his mum's grave. He took his wand out and tapped him. The scent hit his nose and James sighed as he sat on the ground in front of his parents' grave.

A year ago his dad died today.

A year ago he broke Lily's heart.

James wondered if he made them proud. He could remember his mum's brilliant blue eyes with a crinkled memory and the exact way his dad always missed the bottom button on his shirt.

If anything, James wished that his mum were here. She gave the best advice and made him strong. He never wanted to bring her disappointment but James had a feeling in his gut that he already had.

" Hi mum," he said in a cracking tone. " I know Lily isn't here right now but I'm hoping she will next time I come to visit. I think I messed things up with her and I wish you were alive. You always gave the best advice and I need some right now."

No one answered him but the wind changed to push into him instead of against him.

" Dad I'm trying to do what you told me but it's hard to be true to myself when I don't know who I really am," James continued.

" I thought I did. I used to think I had it all figured out… But I think the world is different from how I saw. I just want this war to be over."

He could hear someone walking into the graveyard, so James stood and brushed the dirt off his jeans and shirt. He tucked his wand into his pocket and could see who entered the area.

" Potter," greeted Alice Prewitt. Her hair was newly cut right below her chin and gave her face certain maturity. James nodded in greeting.

" Prewitt congrats on your engagement," he addressed. Alice's lips pulled slightly from their pursed state.

" Thanks," she answered before looking around the cemetery. There was some unspoken oath during this war. Even if James didn't give a damn about Alice he could relate to her. Both of them had a piece of their heart buried in the dirt ground of the cemetery.

Alice looked at the ground before finally meeting his eyes. " I'm sorry," she blurted.

" For my parents?" James asked in confusion.

" For Lily."

James's fists wound tightly and Alice Prewitt toyed with one of the flowers in the bouquet she carried.

" I'd bet my chances at the auror academy that she's the reason you're fighting with Jason. I loved Lily as a friend but was she worth it? Was she worth ruining a lifelong friendship?" Alice asked in a critical tone.

James met her gaze with slight shock in his eyes. No one pointed out that Lily was the obvious reason between his grudge with Jason to his face until now.

But Alice Prewitt had a point. He was brothers with Jason Gastor his whole life. Lily was something new. She burned him apart and James didn't do anything to put himself together until recently.

" I love her," he finally said. " I love her present tense and I've got no idea how to change that."

" By honoring her. I wasn't close with Lily like Marlene and Emmeline but I know that she always expected more from people. I think she would want you to do something useful. You're top of your class James- put that to use."

Alice's lips quirked up at the end of her statement and she began walking towards the Prewitt section of the graveyard.

" But what if honoring Lily isn't being true to myself?" James called.

" If you love her present tense then Lily is apart of you and honoring her would be better than anything."

* * *

_ " So what do you want to do?" Lily asked as she moved her queen. James knocked one of her pawns over and she pouted. _

_ " What do you mean?" James asked as Lily moved her bishop against its urging. If Jason was great at Wizarding Chess, then Lily was shite. _

_ " After Hogwarts." _

_ James paused and looked up to see her watching the board with a frown. _

_ " What do you want to do?" he asked, already knowing the answer. _

_ " Change the world- isn't that what everyone wants to do?" Lily asked. She winced as he crushed her knight. _

_ " I suppose." _

_ " I think I'll apply to the auror office," Lily continued as she reached for one of cauldron cakes they spent a good portion of the morning trying to make. " But when I was a kid I wanted to be just like my mum." _

_ James frowned and couldn't imagine Lily anything like her mother. Lily was something else. She was spontaneous and alive and so vibrant. Lil caught his expression and laughed. _

_ " I wanted to be happy James, not have enough kids for a bloody Quidditch team."_

_ " Don't you still want to be happy?" he asked in curiosity. _

_ " I want a different type of happy. I guess I grew up and realized that happy is circumstantial," Lily explained. _

_ " I don't tell people what I want to do because I don't have a choice," James started. Lily knew why and she met his gaze- there was something child-like and vulnerable in his eyes. _

_ " What did you dream of being?" she asked. And maybe that's when James decided that he couldn't live without Lily. She made him build castles in the sky so magnificent that they took his breath away. _

_ " When I was a kid I wanted to be a Curse Breaker if you can believe it," James revealed. He leaned up from the game and ran a hand through his hair. " I think I wanted to be like Julius when I came to Hogwarts. My room was covered in Puddlemere posters until fourth year. I had it all planned out. Start playing for Puddlemere or the Canons right out of school and get a heroic injury that would get all the birds." _

_ " The Canons?" Lily asked in laughter. _

_ " I always root for the underdog Christmas," replied James as he reached over and tugged one of her French braids. There was mirth in his eyes and Lily tossed one of the cauldron cakes at him. He caught it perfectly and took a bite. _

_ " Git." _

_ " Hush I'm trying to tell a story. Around fourth year, we started figuring how to become Animagi. It's a rather nasty business doing it illegally," James explained. " One time, Sirius had a tale for a week before he figured out how to get rid of it. Nearly whacked Professor Slughorn with it." _

_ " Anyways, one of us had to figure out how to do proper healing spells. Jason had a hard enough time with the Transfiguration and Sirius- well Sirius was shite at them. Nearly blew my arm off once when he was supposed to pull a splinter out of my thumb. So the job of figuring out the healing charms fell to me." _

_ Lily leaned against the arm of her seat and bit her lip before smiling. " You're good at healing," she finally declared. _

_ " You're better," James answered. Lily wrinkled her nose. _

_ " I'm shite at giving out potions- I'd gave kid the amount of pain relief potion needed for a dragon burn if he had exploding snap scorch." _

_ James titled his head back and roared in laughter at this. " So if we didn't live in a war you'd still want to be an auror?" _

_ " I suppose so- danger follows me around so I'd put it to use. Besides I think I'd look fantastic in those robes. And if we didn't live in this war then when I get injured you could patch me up when I got home," Lily replied. _

_ James's heart sped slightly and he smirked at her. " So you want to be with me?" he asked. Lily threw a pillow at him before grabbing him by the sweater and pulling him so their foreheads touched. _

_ " Who else could make me smile as much as you?" she asked before kissing him._

* * *

" I can see why Lily liked to travel so much," Jason sighed as he sat next to Michael near one of the bridges of Paris. Michael looked up from his sandwich and nodded.

" Good food."

" Good views," Jason retorted.

" How did she stay so thin with food like this?" Michael moaned as he finished his sandwich. Jason rolled his eyes as they stared out at the water in front of them. It was midday and although they'd only been in France for a few days, he felt oddly at home here.

" So this old friend of yours, why haven't we stopped by yet?"

Michael scowled and brushed the crumbs from his pants before standing. Jason reached for his camera, having promised Emmeline pictures of Paris. After snapping a picture of a bridge covered in muggle locks he turned to Michael.

" She's not answering my letters but I know where she lives. I think Beauxabatons is out this week too," Michael explained.

" Well we're both of age so why don't we visit said friend now?" Jason asked.

" She's a little more than a friend Jason," Michael sighed. " I think she might hex me if she sees me."

" All the more reason to visit her."

Michael shoved him and Jason laughed as Michael shot him a glare.

" I don't want to lose my arm," Michael protested.

" I'll protect you from the big bad old fling," Jason vowed as they walked through the streets of the city.

There was something different about being publically friends with Michael Wood. They'd been in the dark for so long and Emmeline brought them into the light at the right time.

" Do you suppose Emmeline will leave Adam for Beckett?" Michael asked after a few minutes.

Jason was quiet. He knew Beckett Scamander well enough as he'd been in the same year as Pericles for two years. But there was something about him that made him feel as though he was going to steal Emmeline from them.

" I think he's good for her- better than McKinnon could have ever been," he finally addressed.

" Why?"

" He makes Emmeline alive- more alive and vibrant than anyone else could. I think he melts that so-called ice heart she's got."

Michael nodded and turned his head to look at a building. Jason could see the stretches of scars along the side of his face and peaking from the neckline of his shirt. He knew the vague details of how Michael had gotten them but not the full story. Lily always turned a little green when she spoke of what happened that night last June.

" I've always loved Em… She's like my sister but I think to her I haven't been much until recently," Michael revealed in a shaking tone. " Adam had more to do with who she was friends with."

" What do you mean?" Jason asked in a curious tone.

" Well, Emmeline used to be an outsider of our little group when we were young. She wasn't terribly close with any of her dorm mates. Gideon used to be her best friend but that changed after Adam turned seventeen."

" Maybe she changed too," Jason offered.

" She did change- she changed into someone she wasn't."

Jason didn't speak and Michael didn't until they reached the magical area of Paris. They stepped into a quaint teahouse and moved to the back room away from muggles before Michael hit the bricks with the right pattern.

" Look what's important is that right now she's happy. And I think she's got a future different than whatever one she had with Adam- a future that's going to make her a lot more happy."

Michael nodded in agreement but there was something to his eyes that reminded Jason of the feeling he got when Lily started falling for James. It was the feeling of being completely helpless because she was going to leave him behind and find her future without him. She was going to become a star and leave him in the dark.

He wondered how Emmeline was doing. Lily hadn't written to him in weeks so he supposed Emmeline was getting most of the news. Maybe Lily needed a girl's advice on whatever she was going through.

" We're going to have to side-along," Michael said as he took Jason's hand. Their hands were about the same size, with Jason's fingers slightly leaner than Michael's.

There was tingling at his navel and Jason braced for the sensation of Apparation. They landed and Michael stumbled back. Jason quickly grabbed him and Michael quirked his lips at him.

" I'm not a damsel in distress."

" No need for dramatics Wood," Jason answered as he shoved him good-naturedly and Michael smirked.

" Be my knight in shining arm Jacie?" he asked.

" I'll hex your tongue off if you call me that again."

" Jacie darling the light's so blinding," Michael, drawled with a teasing tone.

" Well it's a good thing I'm not your bloody knight because I'm not saving you," Jason answered with a huff.

Michael merely chuckled and slugged him in the arm before ruffling his curls.

" Let's go before someone looks out the window and thinks we're marauding about."

Jason's heart did not hurt as he followed after Michael. There was something clearly different to his relationship with Michael than there was with his one with the Marauders. With the Marauders there was this feeling of duty and obligation to make himself small so James could lead. With Michael and Emmeline it didn't matter if he laughed and smiled too much for a war. With Michael it was easy to be just boys.

They walked up the path to a large manor house and Michael knocked on the door. A house elf opened it and looked at them with wide eyes.

" Is Miss Lestrange around?" Michael asked.

" I'm not allowed to let strangers in," the house elf squeaked.

" I went to school with Abilene," Michael explained. Jason felt a feeling of recognition flash across his mind. They were visiting Abilene Lestrange; the same girl Michael spent a good part of fourth year fooling around with- the same girl whose betrothal was broken for some scandalous secretive reason.

" Shatzi who's at the door?" a voice called from inside the house.

" Miss Abilene friends from Hogwarts be at the door," the elf answered. Jason crossed his arms over his chest before looking at Michael. He dropped his intense gaze when he saw the look of disbelief on Michael's face.

Jason looked back to the door and saw a girl with dark black hair and light blue eyes in the doorway holding a bundle. From how she held the bundle, Jason could see a pair of large brown eyes and a tuft of brown hair sticking up from a baby's head.

Time stilled as he looked back to Michael whose legs were shaking as he stared at the bundle. Jason looked back to the bundle-

" Holy Merlin," he gasped. Abilene Lestrange's lips pulled down and she narrowed her eyes at them.

" How did you know?" she demanded.

But Jason wasn't paying attention to the sparks of a fight flying in the air around Michael and Abilene. He was paying attention to the fact that the baby in Abilene's arms had Michael's russet eyes and those eyes were boring into his.

" Abby," Michael croaked. For the first time in his life, Jason Gastor watched Michael Wood falter. He felt himself falter as those large brown eyes pulled up into a toothless smile.

" Is that my son?" Michael asked in a voice of a man long broken.

* * *

" Marlene I'm going to meet Frank in London and no you can't come," Adam explained as he shoved his feet into a pair of shoes. He pulled the door to the house his parents rented open and stepped outside.

Although the lake house was in a relatively secluded area, muggle teens sometimes stumbled into the area for drunken activities. This made it a lot harder for Adam to apparate.

After checking to make sure that no one was around, he tightened his hold on his wand and apparated. Landing in an empty alley, Adam brushed his clothing off and stepped into daylight. He was supposed to meet with Frank and Mundungus Fletcher for a quick patrol of an area one of their spies tipped them off about.

After making his way through the crowded London streets, Adam managed to get to get to the small candy shop where he'd agreed to meet the other members of this patrol.

The door let out a ringing sound as he opened it and looked around. It was colored in pastels and wreaked of happiness- something that Adam was feeling.

Ever since he'd seen Emmeline with her mystery man at King's Cross, he'd been in a truly shite state. Never mind the disgusted looks his parents gave him as they tried to work damage control. Adam caught his mother hiding the bruises staining her wrists more than once as she followed after his father to a brunch with some pretentious purebloods.

Feeling the storekeeper's stare, Adam sighed and grabbed one of the plastic bags before filling it with some type of muggle candy. He threw it at the register and pulled out a series of pounds before grabbing it and eating one. It wasn't half bad.

" Fitting in with the muggles?" Frank asked as he moved next to Adam. Adam choked on one of the candies as he looked at Frank's buzzed head.

" Got hit with a slicing jinx. Skimmed my hair and Alice insisted that I cut the lot of it off."

" Looks interesting. Say would you mind being a model for a portrait of an egg?"

" Shut up you wanker," Frank answered as he slapped Adam on the back in greeting. " Marls said you've been holed up in your family's lake house all week."

" People stare… I mean they always stared but now it's worse," Adam sighed with a tired expression.

" She'll come around- Em and you are meant to be," Frank countered.

" She isn't my Emma anymore. I don't think she was ever," Adam said bitterly. " I think I built this image of her from watching her for years and she wasn't it. So instead of accepted her, I chose to change her."

Frank was silent as he dug into Adam's bag and pulled out one of the candies. He licked his fingers and looked around the shop.

" Fletcher's late," he noted. Adam snorted.

" He's a sketchy fellow. Don't know why he's in the Order."

" Apparently Dumbledore chose him himself- he's almost a first generation member," Frank replied gruffly.

" He tried selling Fabian and Michael gillyweed saying it was muggle pot," Adam answered.

" Look we've got five hours of patrol. I'd like to get back to Alice's house and I'm sure you'd like to spend your time moping about some girl," Frank snapped.

The thing about his friendship with Frank was the tension. Frank was leader and Adam just wanted to leave. Frank soared and Adam didn't even run. Adam liked being in the shadows and Frank wanted to be an anchor. Frank was perfect and Adam was a mess.

Mundungus finally showed up and the trio split up on patrol. Adam scowled as it started to rain and his shirt clung to his figure. He ducked into a pub and wiped water from his face and looked around the pub.

" Shite," Adam breathed as the occupants looked up. He met a pair of sneering steel eyes next to a pair of stormy ones.

" We were just talking about you," Lucius Malfoy drawled. Adam could see blood dripping from the muggle occupants and the blank stare of the bartender as Rodolphus Lestrange hit him lazily with an imperius curse.

" Take a seat McKinnon," he continued. When Adam remained standing, Lucius jutted his head towards the seat in front of him. Adam felt nausea creep up his throat. Blood dripped from the walls.

It was really just his luck to stumble into a death eater infested pub.

"I think you'll be more than interested in hearing us out if you can leave this war with my cousin dearest on your arm."

" Michael?" Adam asked in confusion.

" No you idiot- Emmeline. The Dark Lord has an offer for you that will secure her being yours again," Lucius explained.

" I'd rather leave," Adam answered. A spell hit the wood behind his hand and he looked up to see Sirius Black twirling his wand with a glint in his eyes. There was a flash of emotion in Sirius's eyes but he quickly covered it with a smirk.

" This isn't a choice between leaving and staying. It's living or dying McKinnon."

Adam swallowed heavily and cursed in his head. " What could You-Know-Who want from me? I'm going into International Affairs, nothing terribly worthwhile."

Lucius simply smirked and raised his glass to the muggle bartender. One of the Dolohovs hit a muggle sitting in a booth with a slicing jinx. Adam shuddered and looked away. His hands were covered in sweat.

" Oh but you are worthwhile Adam. I'd advise you hear what I have to say before giving up your life," Lucius advised.

Adam deliberated the odds of the Order bursting into the pub anytime soon. He could stall this death eater- hopefully. Adam hoped those narrowed eyes and smirking lips couldn't see the sweat on his palms or his shaking legs as he walked forward.

* * *

Jason was in the shower when Emmeline marched in. He cursed as the door opened and looked up to see Emmeline's determined ice eyes.

" Bloody hell Vance! I'm in the shower."

" I need to talk to you," Emmeline said calmly. Jason stared at her in shock.

" There's shampoo in my hair!"

" Well I'm not stopping you from showering," Emmeline answered as she sat on the counter of his sink.

" Besides there's steam covering everything I don't need to see."

Jason gave her a withering glare.

" How did you get in here?" Jason demanded as he reluctantly ducked his head under the stream of water.

" One of your elves let me in," Emmeline answered nonchalantly. She rubbed her eyes before looking at him. " I can be very convincing."

Jason scoffed and washed his hair quickly. He'd planned on a long shower to drown out the shock of what he and Michael had found out, not one with Emmeline Vance staring at him.

Sure Emmeline was pretty, in a regal sort of way, but she wasn't his type of girl. There was something in her eyes that screamed danger. Jason wanted someone safe.

" What do you want to talk about?" Jason finally asked. Emmeline blinked sharply.

" I slept with Beckett."

" About time."

Jason let out a yelp as Emmeline hit the glass of the shower sharply. She glared at him.

" I'm not supposed to be that girl," she moaned. Grabbing a bar of soap, Jason quickly ran it over his arm.

" What girl?" he asked warily.

" The girl that's always diving into relationships. I'm supposed to be on abstinence- not jumping Beckett's bones," Emmeline explained with a sniff.

" Was he good at least?" Jason asked as he ducked under the water again. Emmeline merely glared at him.

" I promised myself the rest of seventh year by myself to figure out who I am without a boyfriend."

" Look do you like him?" Jason questioned. A flash of emotion crossed Emmeline's face but she shrugged

" Don't commit then… If Scamander's a good shag then just define the boundaries- tell him it's casual."

Emmeline made a face. " That sounds slaggy."

" It's what I do," Jason sighed. The water was getting colder.

" And when was the last time you were in a relationship?" Emmeline asked.

Jason chuckled. " To be in a relationship you have to want it. And I do not want some bird clinging to my arm. Lily's my damsel in distress forever," he vowed.

" Speaking of Lily," Emmeline started. " What's she written to you?"

Jason frowned and dropped his bar of soap before ducking under the water again. He reached for his towel and shut the water off at the same time. Steam covered the shower as he stepped out.

" I thought she was writing to you; I haven't gotten a letter since that one around March 12," Jason answered as he walked towards his bedroom. Emmeline didn't pay much attention to the towel dangling on his hips as he swaggered away.

Emmeline frowned and looked up from her nails. " I thought she was writing to you- I haven't gotten a letter since February."

Jason had just finished slipping into a pair of jeans and walked towards her with a deadly look. " What did you just say?" he asked in a quiet voice.

" Lily hasn't written to either of us in weeks," Emmeline muttered under her breath. " Shit- Holy mother of Merlin this isn't good."

Jason stormed into his room and came back with his wand in one hand. He met his gaze and there was fury in his eyes.

" We're going now," he declared before grabbing Emmeline's hand and tugging her forward. Stumbling after him, Emmeline frowned.

" We don't have any leads," she protested.

" I'm so fucking stupid- Cassius died in Greece and Selena bloody Kingsmill shows up days later. To top it off James disappeared for two days back in March- That screams Lily," Jason answered.

" So we're going to find Selena then," Emmeline answered. Jason shook his head as they reached the Entrance Hall of the Gastor Manor.

" No… It's time we pay James a visit."

* * *

If Vance Estate was old as hell, then Potter Manor was older than hell. Although the giant house was old, Emmeline knew that the Potters kept it up to date for each generation. She sat on the edge of her seat in the living room and frowned at the Christmas decorations still up.

" Doesn't he have house elves?" she asked Jason. A house elf had let them in before telling them that James was out and would be back soon.

" Lily kept them up with him," Jason muttered in return. Emmeline's mouth fell open slightly and she felt the urge to examine every aspect of the decorations.

" It's still a little…."

" Obsessive," Jason answered as he took a sip of the tea the elf had served. " James doesn't do anything in moderation- he's the type of guy to put everything into something or nothing."

" So he kept everything into Lily," Emmeline noted. Jason nodded and the sound of the door opening hit Emmeline's ears. After a minute, a small brown and ginger cat entered the room. Its large yellow eyes took in Emmeline and Jason before it climbed onto a lounger and perched on its armrest.

Before Emmeline could comment on it, James Potter entered the room. He was wearing a jacket and a pair of jeans while he took them in. A frown graced his features as his eyes met Jason's.

Instead of showing biting hatred, James merely raised an eyebrow and collapsed into the lounger where the cat sat.

" Why are you two in my house?" he asked in a tired voice. The cat moved to his lap and purred against him. Emmeline's lips twitched as she watched the cat make itself at home on James.

James caught her eye and smiled at the cat. " Lily left Snitch behind when she went off to do who knows what," he explained as he scratched it behind the ear.

Emmeline stared at him in surprise. She'd expected a full-blown tantrum or for him to kick them out of his house. But there was something different in James's eyes from that morning weeks ago. There was something accepted and weighted that made her shift uncomfortably in her seat.

Jason coughed and placed his cup down. " About Lily," he started with a glance towards Emmeline. " We might have been in contact with her this entire time."

Emmeline waited for James to blow up. She waited for hexes and jinxes to stream through the room and shouts to explode. They never came.

" You I can understand but not Vance," James answered immediately. " I mean I always suspected Lily was in contact with someone. But I thought it was Wood," James continued.

" Michael thinks she's dead," Emmeline clarified. James smiled darkly at this.

" Isn't it amusing? There are so many layers to what people know. Some know that she's a Gastor, but not that she's alive…. Others know that she's really alive but not where she is. And some, well they think they know the truth but they really don't," James answered.

Emmeline made eye-contact wit Jason and he coughed again.

" Anyways, Emmeline and I were in contact with her since she left until March. She hasn't written in weeks and I've got a feeling you know why," Jason explained.

" Ever consider that she might have died," James offered.

" I would have felt it," Jason protested.

" She's not wearing that family ring of yours," James corrected.

" I would have felt it," James replied with a vow. James frowned and leaned forward.

" Look I'm done chasing after her. In fact I'm fighting the compulsion charms linking us together," James revealed. Jason leaped up and had his wand pointed at James.

" So she's not dead," Jason determined.

" Really I'm hurt. If Lily dies then I wouldn't want to live," James declared with full honesty.

Emmeline scoffed at this. " You're being hypocritical Potter," she summed. " If you're done with Lily then why don't you want to live without her?"

James shook his head. " I never said I was done with Lily- I said I was done chasing her. I merely let her go."

" Great time to get so Zen," Emmeline scoffed. Jason narrowed his eyes at James.

" You went missing for two days back in March- Dolohov said you were on a mission for the Dark Lord. It's not a coincidence that two days after you returned Cassius was dead and Selena Kingsmill shows up here."

James froze slightly and his smirk was wiped off his face. Emmeline nodded at Jason; they got him.

" Lily was supposed to come back over two weeks ago. She wouldn't break that promise unless she had a good reason," Jason vowed.

" Maybe you just trusted her too much. Lily lies a lot if you haven't noticed," James scoffed.

" She wasn't lying this time," Emmeline spat she met James's eyes coldly. "Lily loves you- she left for you more than anyone else. I don't know why she left or what she's doing but I do know one thing. In the end she loves you and if you ever had a single ounce of goodness in your sick heart you would tell us exactly what you did to push her away."

" Emmeline," Jason warned.

" No," James answered in a defeated tone. He ran a hand through his hair but this time his teeth dug into his lower lip and he nervously shoved his glasses up his nose. " She's right… Lily didn't come back because of something I did."

Emmeline shot Jason a smug look but when she turned to James, she could see his lip shaking slightly as he looked up with pain in his eyes. " When I tracked her down she was in Greece with Cassius," he said. His eyes met Jason's.

" I never meant to do what I did- I swear to Merlin I regret it," James vowed. " I managed to get her but my mission was to destroy the school there to send a message to the Greek Ministry. Remus was guarding the room she and Cassius were locked in when the werewolves showed up and started eating kids. We had to stop them and Lily got out. I swear I was just trying to bring her home. Wormtail you should have seen the look in her eyes- she was terrified and scarred… Lily needed me," James justified.

Emmeline frowned at what he called Jason. But Jason merely remained fixed and cold.

" Get to the point," Jason coolly uttered.

" I had Kingsmill and threatened to kill her if Lily tried to leave. She was about to come with me but Kingsmill hit me and Lily got to her. So I threatened Cassius- I swear I didn't mean to do it," James continued in an imploring tone.

" Agrippa," Emmeline gasped, realizing what James was talking about. She stared at him in shock before disgust settled in.

" Are you that twisted?" she asked quietly. " Are you sick enough to not only kill the girl who you love's brother but one of your closest friend's brothers?"

James swallowed and Emmeline wanted to believe that he would deny it and tell something different. Bile filled her mouth as he stared at the ground with despair.

" I wanted her back so badly," he said clumsily. Emmeline blinked hard and looked at Jason who wasn't even watching James anymore. His eyes were on his arm and he looked up.

Emmeline stifled a sob; this was so wrong all of it. The best friend who killed his closest friend's brother and the boy in front of her were not the same person. But James's eyes read the truth.

" You blamed me for months that Lily left," Jason started in a low tone. His eyes moved to James's arm, as though there was something there that he could not see. " But in reality you're the reason she's not going to ever come back."

There was silence, save for Emmeline's soft muffled crying. Then Jason laughed, he laughed with all of the coldness in the world- he took Emmeline's ice and wound it up tightly into his heart.

" You cost me two siblings. Taking Cassius is bad enough. But Lily- if you had any faith or any hope in me you should have waited," Jason roared. His eyes lit up and the laughter died.

" You pushed her away- you didn't let go of her," Jason continued. He stalked towards James with his wand pointed towards him. And James didn't back up. He merely pushed the cat from the room and stood.

Emmeline watched as his eyes left Jason's and remained on the end of his wand. " Not going to prove me wrong? Come on Prongs," Jason sneered. " Don't you live to manipulate people into thinking you're a bloody saint?"

" Jason," Emmeline warned as his wand landed on James's chest. Jason didn't even turn around. " You're better than him."

This got Jason's attention. He turned his head to face her. " I'm not really- you just want me to. I swear I'm tired of this Emmeline. I'm tired of you and Michael thinking that I'm a martyr. I've killed people- I killed your parents for god's sake," Jason spat.

" No you didn't," Emmeline answered. " You don't need to lie to me."

" Don't you understand? People like James and me we're monsters. We live in hell all the bloody time- that's why we love Lily. She doesn't pretend to be perfect and she doesn't try to change me so I think she is. And James you broke her," Jason yelled. Something in his eyes snapped as he faced James.

" She blames herself every single time someone dies. Every single time," Jason restated. " You put her back together and ripped her apart."

Jason reached up and wiped his eyes angrily. He stepped back and swallowed. Emmeline moved forward and stumbled back as he lunged forward and his wand was pressed into James's throat harshly.

She watched him and felt a tear fall down her face. James's eyes seemed light years away and his lips pulled up slightly.

" I could kill you in less than a second and you're smiling," Jason hissed.

" Just something someone once told me," James answered. They were not brothers in anyway. Power had to be fought for between them and James may have won a battle months ago, but Jason was seconds away from winning a more important one. Emmeline feared the day when one of them won the war between themselves.

" Stop fighting the compulsion charms," Jason ordered. " Find her right now. I'm going to get her."

" No."

" Crucio," Jason said in a velvet voice. Emmeline watched in horror as James collapsed to the ground and his body writhed. He was silent and glared at Jason.

" I know a lot worse spells Potter then the cruciatus. I could make this go for hours unless you tell me where Lily is," Jason vowed.

" Jason stop," Emmeline finally declared. He faced her while James writhed and frowned.

" Get out of here Emmeline," Jason ordered.

" No James is right."

" To kill my brother and break Lily?" Jason demanded.

As Emmeline met Jason's cracking irises, she understood finally why Lily had chosen to ask this of her. It wasn't about Emmeline learning something or becoming a better person, even though she had. It wasn't about how she and Jason became friends or how she made him better, even though she did. It was about how Emmeline Vance loved.

" That we can't chase Lily. She's not yours or James's. Lily is her own person and if she wants she could kill herself and there's nothing we could do to stop her. If you really love her then you've got to let her go," Emmeline beseeched.

Her words registered in Jason's mind and Emmeline swallowed.

" There's this muggle saying about letting go of what you love. If it comes back then it's yours forever and if it doesn't then it never was. Lily was never yours- and you're taking that out on James. She didn't come back for you and that's not why you're upset. You're upset because if Lily didn't come back for you then she can still come back for James. But it's too late for you... She didn't choose you for seventeen years and it's killing you," Emmeline finished.

Jason's figure wobbled and his spell stopped as he fell to the ground on his knees. James coughed and gasped for air behind him as Emmeline moved to Jason. She reached for his hand and squeezed it.

" I don't have a family," Jason whispered in a broken glass voice.

" Yes you do," Emmeline corrected. " Me and Michael- we're you're family," she elucidated.

Jason's eyes filled with tears and Emmeline pulled him into her arms. Adam couldn't melt her heart but Michael and Jason did. Jason Gastor with his harsh glares and leers and womanizing attitude managed to break the ice surrounding her heart.

As they stood, Jason turned to James with a pitiful look. James sat up with a groan and met Emmeline's gaze.

" Look at me," Jason asked. It wasn't an order but James looked into those golden eyes anyways.

" We're not going to be friends. We're going to coexist and that's ten times better than what I should ask of you. I should skin you alive and crack every bone in your body. I'm coming back to the dorm and we're going to ignore each other. You owe me," Jason explained.

" I did it for Lily," James sputtered. Jason merely smiled and shadows bowed to his eyes and collarbones.

" Maybe that was both of our mistakes- I'm sure there was a part in the Marauder's code about never putting a girl before a fellow Marauder… We both broke it."

Jason walked out of the Manor and Emmeline followed him.

" Vance, " James croaked as he stood. Emmeline didn't turn but stopped walking.

" You'll tell me if she writes you right?"

" I don't think she's going to write me and Jason anymore. But what it's worth, she'll come back for you," Emmeline answered.

" I killed her brother," James protested. Jason was almost out the door.

" We don't choose the people we love," Emmeline rationalized.

" I want her to choose me," James fought.

" Precisely Potter," Emmeline answered with a tight smile before following Jason out the door.

She knew that James had no idea what she meant that day but one day he would, Emmeline certainly understood that she didn't choose to love Adam but she knew whom she would choose. And maybe for her the two did not overlap, but for James and Lily things were very different.

* * *

**Sorry for the cliffhanger but England's a tad behind Lily... Writing this chapter took a bit more time as I'm still navigating Emmeline's perspective. She doesn't have Lily's thought process and Emmeline prefers words over any other weapon. I've grown extremely fond of her development and where it's headed. **

**So this is for the readers, a big part of Confingo is the music behind it. I've hopped around genres for some time and right now I'm in a 80s and 70s fix due to a nostalgic trail down memory lane with my dad who is a huge Queen and The Who fan. If anyone has any recommendations for music I'd love some new songs to listen to!**

**Still offering sneak peaks at future chapters for reviews...**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	25. A Lion of a Snake

**Chapter 25 A Lion of a Snake**

**(Juke Box Hero)**

* * *

Emmeline felt as though some form of a full circle came as Beckett stopped her near a pillar. His finger brushed a lock of her hair back and she looked up to meet his eyes with a tight smile.

" Application results come out next week right?"

" Yeah… I'll be hearing from the Prophet then," Emmeline answered. There was something different to how she moved around him. Before she was relaxed and now she was tense and jumpy. Beckett seemed to notice the change.

" Look I know that you've got a lot going on right now," Beckett started. Emmeline's mind filled with dread; he was going to ask for a relationship or a date.

" So I think we should take a pause."

Surprise rippled into Emmeline's mind and she struggle not to let it show.

" You don't want to be with me?"

Emmeline's brow crumpled in confusion and Beckett jumped in quickly to clarify.

" It's not me Emmeline. Merlin knows I want to be with you so badly," Beckett sighed. He leaned towards her and shadows decked the surface of his nose and cheeks. " But you're incredible and have a choice to make about your future. I don't care if you want to take my offer up or not but I want you to know that I'm another choice. You could choose me but first you have to choose yourself."

Emmeline laughed. She laughed so hard that tears came to her eyes and the Yaxley family glared at her and Beckett.

" Vance?" Beckett asked in an almost hurt voice. Emmeline stood straightly and entwined her hand with his.

" I'm a writer who couldn't find the words to describe what I needed ever since this entire year began. But you found those words for me," Emmeline explained as she reached for Beckett face.

Her finger pulled it down and she kissed him softly before letting go.

" I'm going to miss you hellishly," she sighed against his forehead. " But you're right. I have to choose me."

" Don't think I won't write every week," Beckett answered with a toothy grin.

" I won't open those letters without some of your mum's scones- they're as great as the ones the house elves make," Emmeline countered.

" So that's why you tolerate me," Beckett teased.

" Of course, I'll need a new source for scones once I'm out of Hogwarts."

" My mum loves you more than me probably- she'll murder me if I don't win you over."

" Well good luck Scamander- I'm a tough girl to win over," Emmeline bantered.

" I know that Acromantula Slayer, believe me I know that," Beckett said with a laugh.

He pulled Emmeline in for a tight embrace before pressing a smacking kiss to her forehead.

" Keep your hair down for me?" Beckett asked before letting go of her. Emmeline reached for her luggage cart and pushed it forward.

" I'll try," she stated as she walked away. Emmeline paused before turning and seeing that Beckett was watching her. His lips pulled into a wide arch as she met his eyes and there were butterflies in her gut ready to come out like a volcano.

But she turned away and walked forward because Beckett understood that right now Emmeline had to choose herself. He didn't make the choice for her but he helped her realize what she needed through this mess of a year. For that, Emmeline knew that the matters of her heart could be at rest at least until she graduated.

* * *

April 8, 1977

I'm going to miss Beckett like hell.

* * *

Rain pelted down the side of the Hogwarts Express as it tore through the English countryside. Sirius dragged his finger over the window of the Marauder's cabin before turning to James.

" Where's Moony?" he asked in a tired voice. After cracking his neck, James shrugged and continued playing with his snitch.

" Prefect stuff."

Sirius narrowed his eyes at James's frame. Although he'd taken up most of the seats across from Sirius, James looked almost small. He curled into the surface of the worn bench and barely had light in his eyes as he reached for the shining snitch.

" How was your break?"

" Fine."

James pocketed the snitch and tore his hand through his hair before taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. He moved his legs from the length of the seat and hunched over to face Sirius.

" I heard you had an encounter with Adam McKinnon," James offered in a strained tone.

" Something of the sort- Lucius nearly convinced him to come to the next meeting but aurors showed up and we had to scatter. I'm not upset; that pub was disgusting especially with Wilkes practicing jinxes on muggles," Sirius replied.

" So McKinnon is on the rails," James continued.

Sirius shrugged noncommittally. He didn't have much against his future brother in law if anything he pitied Adam. Yet Sirius felt oddly uncomfortable around Adam even if he was going to spend most of his future meeting him for holidays and parties. There was something off to how he smiled…

" Speaking of McKinnon," James started as he sat up. He tilted his head back and met Sirius's eyes tiredly. " Vance and Jason paid a trip to my house last Friday."

" Jason?" Sirius asked in a suspicious air.

" Gastor… Same thing really," James clarified dismissively.

" What did they want?"

" Apparently the pair was in contact with Lily and forgot that she's unreliable," James explained in a sour manner. " Thought I had some reason to do with her disappearing act."

" Did you?" Sirius asked as the door opened. James's cat sauntered in with Remus on his tail.

" I used to think so. But I've got reason to believe that Selena Kingsmill has something to do with this," James mused.

" Something do to with what?" Remus asked as he sat on Sirius's bench and stretched his legs onto James's. Snitch jumped up to James's lap and rubbed against his button down shirt.

" A mess that Lily created." James idly scratched Snitch behind the ear and the cat purred loudly. " It seems that as usual she keeps me out of the loop of her plans."

Remus looked conflicted and Sirius shot him an inquisitive gaze.

" It's nothing… I think it's nothing," Remus muttered.

" Do share Moony- your ideas are usually right. And when they aren't, they're pretty damn close," James said as he stopped Snitch from jumping up to where their luggage was.

" I just saw Selena Kingsmill with Zabini and Parkinson. Longbottom, my patrol partner, well he gave her a detention for hexing Cressida."

" What type of hex?" Sirius questioned.

" Bat Bogey."

" Nice," Sirius said with a whistle.

" Where'd you see them?" James asked as he sat up. He brushed his shirt down and Snitch curled up where he sat.

" Near the front of the Slytherin cars- around the girls loo," Remus stated as James moved to their trunks and pulled something from his. Sirius could see the translucent fabric of James's invisibility cloak gripped between James's palms.

" I'm going to go and do some marauding," James stated as he swept the cloak over his shoulders and disappeared from view. The door opened and seemed to shut on its own.

" So James has only gone more mad," Remus concluded.

" No… I think it's the complete opposite. He's not angry anymore, just tired," Sirius corrected. " Whatever comes after tired, well I'm sure it's got to be better than him acting as though the universe just hates him."

" Could be worse," Remus muttered. Sirius turned to him with a sad smile.

" How was your visit to the Tonks family household?"

Remus did not have James's powerful looks or Jason's ageless beauty. He did not have Sirius's classic handsome build but something wild and harsh. His forehead seemed to ripple into setlines as he snorted.

" I babysat my future wife Padfoot- how do you think it went?" Remus asked bitterly before reaching into his pocket and pulling out some pain relief potion.

" The full moon isn't until the end of the month," Sirius observed.

" I know."

* * *

April 9, 1977

Something's off with Jason… I know Lily's MIA and Michael's in France for whatever reason but something is wrong. He met with Alastor Moody to do Order work. I think they want him to be a spy. Godric, I hope he's careful.

* * *

Emmeline managed to reach the Hufflepuff table only seconds before Jason sat next to her. He gave her a soft smile and she frowned at him.

" You didn't tell me Michael was staying in France," she hissed lowly as Alphard Black approached the podium. Jason's smile fell and he chewed on his bottom lip.

She'd found out from Alice at the Prefect meeting of all places. Apparently Michael had decided to spend even more time on his Spring Break and that ruined the April Prefect route according to the Head Girl. After declining Alice's offer to sit with her old friends, Emmeline hunted through the train for Jason only to find him sleeping in a cabin. The heavyset bags under his eyes made her unable to wake him until the train reached Hogsmeade.

" Between you moaning over Scamander and the missing Lily issue I didn't have much mind to bring up that Michael had some personal matters to take care of in France," Jason answered sharply.

Emmeline nearly winced at his biting tone and glared at him. Jason's face softened and the hard lines disappeared and he looked sheepishly at his hands. Alphard Black started his speech and Jason leaned into Emmeline.

" I'm sorry but Michael made me promise not to tell anyone. Merlin, Ems it's killing me not to tell you," Jason apologized.

" You're just making me more curious," Emmeline huffed.

" Fine then I'll just tell you a secret," Jason settled. His eyes lit up slightly and he glanced towards the table where the teachers sat. Professor McGonagall's lips were pursed as she watched Emmeline and Jason completely ignore Alphard Black's speech.

" I'm nearly positive that I saw Minnie on a date when I was in Diagon Alley," Jason whispered. Emmeline shot him an incredulous look and snorted.

" The Virgin Cat?" she asked in a disbelieving tone.

" Maybe the not so virgin cat," Jason teased. Emmeline could see a hint of scruff on his chin and hit his shoulder as he leaned in closer.

" You didn't shave did you?" she asked with a glare. Jason shuffled awkwardly and Emmeline touched his cheek before pulling away.

" What are you my mum?" he asked sourly.

" Well no girl will want to snog you if you don't shave," Emmeline answered as food appeared in the center of the table.

" I could grow a bloody brilliant beard if I wanted to," Jason proudly declared as he filled his plate. Emmeline laughed and shook her head.

" You'd look horrid with a beard."

Jason dropped his fork and tugged on one of Emmeline's curls.

" Care to make a wager?" he asked when she turned.

" Fine. If you can get shagged without shaving for an entire month then I'll get you two blocks of the best chocolate Honeydukes has to offer," Emmeline declared.

" And hypothetically if I can't, for let's say all the birds in the world disappeared, then I'll read that muggle book you're always going on about," Jason settled.

" Which one?" Emmeline asked.

" The one where the muggle girl ends up in a Wizard's land and is kidnapped by monkeys," Jason answered.

" _The Wizard of Oz_?" Emmeline asked. Jason grinned at the name.

" Bingo. You'd think the Ministry would have confiscated those shoes from the muggle girl and obliviated her. "

Emmeline rolled her eyes and didn't bother explaining it to him, he'd understand once he read the entire book.

" You've got a deal Mr. Gastor," Emmeline stated confidently as she shook Jason's hand and returned to her meal. Jason didn't let go of her hand.

* * *

April 11, 1977

Found my old copy of _The Wizard of Oz_\- Jason's going down!

* * *

Two days later, Emmeline stumbled into her dorm exhausted from reviewing for NEWTs with the Gobstone club. Amelia had quizzed her on theoretical Charms until Emmeline saw words behind her eyelids.

She froze when she saw Marlene's figure sitting on her bed dressed in a short nightdress- one that Emmeline would never be able to pull off.

" Are you and Jason shagging?"

Emmeline nearly tripped over Lily's bedpost as she whirled around to gape at Marlene. Those electric blue eyes seemed almost icy as they met Emmeline's.

" Am I doing what?" Emmeline asked in an airy voice.

" Shagging Jason Gastor!" Marlene exclaimed.

" No- he's like my brother Marlene! Why in Agrippa's name would you even think that?"

Marlene stiffly crossed her long perfect legs and huffed indignantly. " You were holding hands at dinner when we got back."

" Jason's a very randy bloke Marlene- he likes having contact with people. Believe me it took Michael a long time to get used to Jason practically cuddling with him when we studied together," Emmeline scoffed.

Marlene looked conflicted but merely continued on. " Well that's good. Adam was worried about you and some bloke name Beckett, I didn't want to tell him you were sleeping with another bloke."

Emmeline wanted to slap Marlene or leave the room. But from Marlene's gaze and the quiver to her lips Emmeline knew the truth. She sat next to Marlene and placed a hand on her shoulder.

" How long have you liked Jason?"

" Why would I like him? He's pretty mean and arrogant."

Emmeline felt her lips pull into a smile. " Well he's awfully caring. I had a cold back in March and he stopped by every day in the Hospital wing to make sure I was okay, he even snuck me some scones. And he's a family man- I mean you should hear him go on and on about Lily and his family. He's also really passionate about Charms and Herbalogy. Did you know he sometimes tutors second years in Charms for Professor Flitwick? His eyes light up and all."

" Sounds like you like him," Marlene sniffed.

" Trust me if you met Beckett then you'd understand why I don't like Jason. Besides he's not into monogamy… I don't like heart breakers," Emmeline finished.

Marlene seemed to believe her and stood up. Emmeline bit her lip as Marlene walked to her own bed.

" Hey Marls," she said. Marlene looked up and tilted her head in question. " Is Adam doing okay?"

Her eyes flickered but she shrugged. " You know he came home from first year and wouldn't shut up about you. And I didn't want to believe him about how you were like a fairytale but then I came to Hogwarts. Emmeline you're his happily ever after. He's doing fine but he can't have a happily ever after anymore. I think he's stuck with an ever after or a the end."

Emmeline nodded and felt her eyes water slightly. She wasn't close with Marlene but something in the room seemed to shift slightly.

" I care about him… I'll always have a place in my heart for Adam. Agrippa knows he was my first everything," Emmeline mused. " But I can't love your brother and I'm sorry for hurting him."

" I wanted to hate you for that," Marlene said in a soft voice. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned forward on her toes before falling back down.

" I tried to hate you but I can't. I'm green with bloody envy that you got out of a betrothal and I'm trapped in one."

" I thought you and Sirius got along," Emmeline uttered confusedly. Marlene's face flickered coldly and she tossed a lock of her raven hair back.

" I tried to love Sirius and I think I do just a bit… He takes care of me. But there's someone else and I don't want to love him. He's a worse drug than Sirius ever was."

Both of them knew exactly whom Marlene was talking about, even if Marlene denied it to her death she was in love with Jason. Emmeline had no idea how she was supposed to feel about that. She did however know that she wasn't going to tell Jason; there were some things that girls had to stick together through- the matters of the heart were nearly on the top of that list.

* * *

April 14, 1977

Potter and Selena Kingsmill were in a classroom together last night! Amos said they were snogging- I think I'm going to have a word with Potter. They're such snakes- if either of them really loved Lily they wouldn't be doing this.

* * *

It was Career Day. The day seventh years found out whether their application to departments and teams were accepted, deferred, or utterly rejected. It was the one day that seventh years came to the Great Hall early in the morning and banded together.

There were few days that the colors and grudges fell apart- today was one of them. All 28 seventh years were feeling the same emotions go through them and they'd probably explode without some support from their fellow students.

" We should sit with the other Gryffindors," Gideon said as he walked over to Emmeline's end of the Hufflepuff table.

" Come on Em, we've been friends with them for so long," Gideon pleaded.

" I know that Gid," Emmeline sighed. She bit her bottom lip and debated her options. She could wait for Jason or sit with her fellow seventh years. Jason usually came late to breakfast as he moved back into his dorm with the other seventh years.

" Just for the letter opening," she settled before following him to the Gryffindor table. Alice was the first to see them and her lips pulled into a confused frame.

" We should finish this together," Emmeline explained as she took the seat next to Marlene and across from Adam. Adam met her eyes and smiled tightly before looking up to the sky.

" So do they plan this?" he asked. " Sending the letters out at practically the same time?"

" Adults are evil," Emmeline retorted. Adam's lips twitched and he shot her a grin before looking up to the enchanted ceiling.

" If I rejected then mum's going to kill me," a Hufflepuff muttered as owls flew into the Great Hall. The teachers' table was filled to the brim with faculty eagerly waiting to see if their favored students had gotten into the career of their choosing.

" I got in," Amos Diggory exclaimed. " All I have to do is pass my NEWTs!" His Hufflepuff friends pounded his back in congratulations and Emmeline shot a strained smile in his direction before looking back to the ceiling.

The first letter to reach the Gryffindor table landed on Fabian's plate. He reached for it and tore it open.

" Bloody hell... Puddlemere wants me beating," he declared in a shocked tone. Gideon enveloped him in a tight embrace and Ravenclaws shouted their congratulations to him. Even the Slytherins shot Gideon looks of admiration before looking to the sky for their own letters.

The first reject was Mulciber. Emmeline watched as he ripped the letter up and stormed out of the hall. But she didn't have time to dwell on it as a set of letters landed on Alice and Frank's plates.

Alice was meticulous in ripping her letter open but Frank shredded it. Emmeline waited as Alice's expression collapsed and Frank's filled with elation.

" I'm in… the Auror Academy is letting me start early," he stated in relief. Frank's shoulders slumped and the Gryffindors were given a moment of privacy as Darcy Stevies, Melissa's older brother, got into Gringotts.

" I'm deferred. They want to see my NEWT scores," Alice muttered. Frank's expression switched from joy to confusion and Alice slipped the letter into her bag before smiling slightly.

" Congrats," she said before pulling Frank into an embrace. Emmeline shot Alice a sympathetic expression but a letter landed again. Gideon reached for the letter on his plate and Emmeline was pleased to see that he stopped wearing that horrible cast.

" I'm pleased to inform you that St. Mungos has accepted you into the 1979 class of Healers, attached are the requirements in regards to your NEWT scores. Congrats Mr. Prewitt," Gideon read aloud.

Confusion settled over the group; none of them knew that Gideon had a change of heart for his career. Yet they were friends, the best type of friends. They were the type of friends that could build bridges over anything, even death. Emmeline worked so desperately to burn those bridges... Finally, Fabian pulled Gideon in for a wide embrace.

" Always knew you were the nerd of the family- wait till Molls hears," he announced as he let go of Gideon. Emmeline grinned and Marlene drilled Gideon with questions about the program he got into while Emmeline met Adam's gaze.

" Looks like we're last Emma."

" No I'm last," Emmeline answered while a letter descended from a brown owl and hit Adam's plate. He swallowed hard and his fingers shook.

" You'll be fine- the Department of International Magic Cooperation would be stupid not to accept you," Emmeline countered softly. Adam's eyes flickered and he nodded before opening the letter. He looked as though he wanted to tell her something but Emmeline's letter landed on her plate.

She reached for the creamy envelope and felt her body shake slightly. For her entire life Emmeline wanted to be a writer. She wanted to tell the truth and give people something to hope for. She wanted to be a word tamer and she pulled her castle down from the sky only for it to look all wrong.

Before she could even open the sealed message from the Daily Prophet, Emmeline knew what she wanted. She knew what castle she wanted and she knew exactly how to pull it down from the sky.

So before anyone could ask, Emmeline ripped the letter in half and then again.

" Emmeline what are you doing?" Frank demanded. Her old friends, and maybe the ones she'd treasure the most, looked over at her and the ripped pieces that were falling down from her fingers to the surface of the table.

Emmeline looked up and met Adam's gaze. His eyes knew why she'd done this before anyone else could.

" I have to go," Emmeline breathed as she stood and left the hall to write a letter to Beckett Scamander and to pick up a book on the Dragons of the World.

* * *

April 15, 1977

Just got fifteen books on Dragons from Beckett. Ughhhhhh…

* * *

" Miss Vance I was very pleased to hear from Beckett Scamander that you've agreed to join his expedition," Professor Grubbly-Plank said in a hushed tone while the class was emptying out. Her fellow classmates covered their heads from the rain as they laughed and sprinted up to the covered passage to the castle.

" I'm looking forward to it. Beckett just sent me all of the reading the members of group have to do, I'd really appreciate it if you could help me with some of it," Emmeline offered.

After getting Professor Grubbly-Plank's assurance to help her, Emmeline stepped out into the rain and didn't bother covered her hair as she walked through the storm.

" Em we've got Transfiguration!" Louis shouted from the covered pathway.

" Congrats on the job Weasley, the Gobstone Committee has a fantastic future with you in it," Emmeline offered as she shook her wet curls out and walked with Louis up the path.

Two weeks after Spring Break, and Michael still hadn't returned from France. Jason remained radio silent on why Emmeline's cousin was missing but she did enjoy watching the progression of his poor attempt at growing his beard. It wasn't going so well.

" Thanks Em, Cheers for the job you've got. I can see you riding dragons already," Louis answered with a slight stutter to his letters and a flush.

" Well I don't know about riding them, but researching dragons sounds grand. The leader of the expedition already sent me the reading I've got to do- I'm going to be up a lot of nights reading," Emmeline chuckled.

" You should see the work I've got assigned. You'd think that the Wizengamot wouldn't be a difficult career path considering most of them are purebloods that haven't worked a day in their life, but turns out that the newbies get loads of pre-work assignments," Amelia groaned as she joined them on their walk to Transfiguration.

" You're going to be legendary Amelia. There's only ten women in the Wizengamot and you're going to be the next," Emmeline answered proudly.

" If I make it pass the trials," Amelia groaned.

" If Yaxley is being considered then there's no way they wouldn't take you," Emmeline replied. Amelia shot her a thankful smile and they continued on.

They reached Transfiguration only moments before the bell rang and Professor McGonagall assigned partners. Emmeline shot Adam a soft smile as she sat next to him and they began working on giving each other a set of wings.

" How's Dueling Club going?" she asked while she focused on making a pair of glass wings for him. Adam twitched as her wand prodded his shoulder.

" Well enough. Turns out Sirius isn't that bad," Adam replied gruffly. " There's not a lot of people in our year going but the sixth years and fifth years seem really into it."

" That's good… They'll know how to protect themselves," Emmeline murmured as a wide wing sprung out of Adam's left shoulder blade. He craned his neck back and grinned at the blue glass-like structure.

" Nice," Adam offered. Emmeline nodded and worked on his other shoulder. She brushed a lock of her hair back and looked over his shoulder to see Gideon giving Katie Michelson a pair of gossamer wings.

" Michelson got into Mungos," Adam voiced. " Gives them tons of time to get over Dorcas's death and finally shag."

Emmeline stared at the back of his head incredulously; did he seriously want to talk about the girl who broke them up?

" Why would Dorcas's death matter to Katie?" Emmeline asked tightly as she traced the form of the next wing in the air. Adam gave her a skeptical expression before speaking.

" Dorcas's mum was Katie's mum's sister- they were cousins."

" Oh," Emmeline said with a crease in her forehead.

" Of course you'd know that," she sneered.

" Emma," Adam uttered in a strained voice.

" Don't call me that… Did you really think I want to hear what Michelson's doing next year? You snogged her," Emmeline hissed.

" I don't like Katie. Emmeline it just happened."

" So cheating on me was that easy."

" You were running around Hogwarts with Jason Gastor and bloody Beckett Scamander- you're working with Scamander for Merlin's sake," Adam spat.

" I messed up Adam. I did kiss Beckett- once. But you did it in front of everyone. That was fucking humiliating," Emmeline muttered.

" You cheated first."

" See this is why I can't be with you- we'd end up just like your parents," Emmeline spluttered. Adam's face fell and hardened while dread filled Emmeline to the core.

" Adam I'm so sor-"

" Just forget about it. It's not like they try and keep it a secret," Adam stated coldly. He turned before Emmeline could grovel for saying something so low. Emmeline glanced over to Katie and Gideon.

Katie and Dorcas had the same alabaster skin and pixie-like face. Their noses contained the exact same upward curve. They also had the same full-blown laugh. The kind of laugh that society did not control.

" I'm sure they'll work it out," Emmeline offered flippantly while she finished his wings. He gestured for her to turn without a word. Emmeline pushed her hair to the front of her shirt and Adam's wand prodded at her shoulder blades.

It was quiet. But not the type of comfortable quiet that once settled over her and Adam like a blanket. It was quiet that made childish faces and danced around them while their fellow classmates worked with laughter.

" I never congratulated you on getting into the Department of International Magical Cooperation. Where are you stationed?" Emmeline asked finally as Adam started the first wing.

He paused and turned her around so Emmeline was forced to meet his electric blue eyes and the small chip in the front tooth of his mouth.

" Emma I took back my application to that department."

" So who sent that letter?"

Adam swallowed and crossed his arms over his chest. His eyes gleamed slightly and Emmeline felt her chest shift uncomfortably.

" Department of Magical Law Enforcement- I'm going to be a Hit Wizard," said Adam.

There was a different type of quiet now. It was the kind of quiet that surroundings something foreboding. Sweat, sticky sweat, clung to Emmeline's hands and she wiped them down on her robes. Her throat felt itchy and she coughed before finally speaking.

" That's different."

Adam watched her, waiting for something else.

" I'm going to the loo."

His face crumpled and Emmeline turned quickly and ducked out of the room. She leaned against the wall outside of the door and slid down it. There was something off to her heartbeat. It hurt.

She was worried. Before Adam would have left and gone far far away from battlefields and death. Now he was running at death and Emmeline didn't love him. She didn't want a fairytale with him but she still cared for him. He was her first love and she couldn't watch him play hide and seek with death. But she'd have to.

Wet tears came to her eyes and Emmeline furiously wiped them away. Tilting her head up, Emmeline observed the ceiling and managed to realize that she could not stop Adam from doing what was right.

But there was a sickening tug at her gut… they'd reversed positions in this story. Adam was running to the war and Emmeline was running from it. She changed and so did he. He changed for her it seemed.

Adam was still in love with her.

* * *

April 16, 1977

Went to the library today to study with Henry and Amelia for NEWTs. Remus Lupin was drinking while studying with Reginald Cattermole. Had no idea they were friends or that Lupin drank.

April 17, 1977

No scones at Hufflepuff table. Ate some porridge. Jason's beard is pathetic.

April 18, 1977

Rain and more and more rain. Stayed up all night reading a book Beckett sent on the Swedish Shortsnout. He also sent a picture of one his parents got, apparently they're hard to find in the wild and extremely volatile as the dragon burned Newt's hair clean off.

April 19, 1977

Charms test today… Might have failed it but only because Dolohov got a Howler in the middle of class. Really his parents didn't need to inform our entire class that he failed this year and would have to repeat, but it's a good bit of gossip for the Hufflepuffs according to Gid.

April 20, 1977

Michael's not back yet and Professor Tonks is teaching me some special defense spells to use against fire-breathing dragons. She's not like the other Blacks really.

Adam was acting strangely at the Prefect Meeting… I think it's because of his parents but I can't ask. Aside from that we got new partners for May. Looks like Amelia and me are going to be spending some time together- she said she'll bring flashcards for Potions. Joy…

April 21, 1977

Lily still hasn't written. Jason's worried.

April 22, 1977

Potter's cat found its way to Gryffindor Tower… Marlene found the bloody thing on Lily's bed and I took it back to Potter. It didn't seem willing to go. Made a horrible ruckus and scratched me! The stupid creature actually ripped my arm open. Needless to say a good stupefying spell was used on it. Potter was rather relieved to see it- didn't know Potter could care about anyone but himself. Reenervated the creature then scolded the damn cat right in front of me. I think I'll stick to owls.

April 23, 1977

Adam had to patrol with me last night. Amelia's got a cold and he volunteered. We found Potter and Kingsmill in the Astronomy Tower… I guess the rumors are true.

April 24, 1977

Party at Ravenclaw last night- Justin Davies broke the exploding whiskey record. They crushed Gryffindor, as Michael still is not back from France. According to Jason Ravenclaw will play Slytherin for title and Gryffindor and Hufflepuff with compete for the bottom two positions. I think Jason deserves a win this year.

April 25, 1977

Went to a meeting of dueling club with Pandora and Damien. I hope Andromeda Tonks sticks around to teach next year. She's brilliant.

The food at dinner was worse than Jason's attempt at a beard. Can barely see his jaw anymore and he got some food stuck in it. I wonder how Dumbledore did it.

April 26, 1977

Accidentally stumbled across Sirius Black and Caradoc Dearborn after an Order meeting going over some of the Death Eater plans. I'm sworn to secrecy not to tell anyone but I think it's a good thing. If we can win over Black then we can do anything.

Jason's giving reports directly to Moody. He said the Dark Lord isn't pleased with him for skipping so many meetings. He's supposed to start going to death eater meetings more often now. I'm worried about him.

April 27, 1977

No word from Lily. Alice asked me to be a bridesmaid.

April 28, 1977

I doubt I'll get full function back in my hands. Studying sucks but I've got to pass all five of my NEWTs. Dragon research is only for year, I'll need to have something to do afterwards… I suppose I could consider Magiczoology.

April 29, 1977

Missing Beckett like hell. He writes but I doubt paper can get our banter. Got my invitation to the wedding of Alice Prewitt and Frank Longbottom. I never took them as the type to marry practically out of school. But as I'm a bridesmaid I can't really judge.

April 30, 1977

Jason got into a fight with Adam and Fabian in the Great Hall. Apparently he went on a mission with them and almost compromised it. Too many people know the truth.

April 30, 1977 (night)

Michael's back- there's something different to his eyes. He told me what happened. Oh Godric, I'm an aunt!

* * *

" Jessica Goyle," Jason drawled as he walked towards Emmeline. His beard was gone and there was a smirk resting on his face as he stopped in front of her.

" Excuse me where's your beard?" Emmeline demanded.

" I won our little wager."

Jason leaned against the wall of the corridor and looked out at the window with Emmeline.

" She found my beard very sexy. Said it gave me a rugged charm," explained Jason.

Emmeline rolled her eyes and continued her survey of the Black Lake. The rain had only cleared last night and she could make out flowers staining the ground around the lake.

Students sat around it… A flash of ginger hair came into view and Emmeline watched Gideon toss a quaffle to Christopher Chang. It seemed that houses broke down for this day as the boys were playing some form of catch.

" Well most girls would find it horribly itchy."

" Sure they would Ems."

Emmeline felt her lips twitched at the nickname on Jason's lips.

" I'll get you your chocolate by tomorrow," Emmeline replied. Jason pulled something out of his bag and wrapped his arm around Emmeline's shoulder.

Emmeline could see a worn copy of _The Wizard of Oz_ in Jason's hands. His long nimble fingers rubbed against the spine and he grinned at her.

" Took me all month but I read it."

" Why?"

Jason gently reached for her hand and met her eyes carefully. There was something warm in those gold eyes, something warm that felt like home.

" Because we're family Ems."

Emmeline smiled and continued surveying the Black Lake.

" You remind me of the Tin Man."

Emmeline was silent and frowned at him. Jason shook his head and tugged on one of her curls

" Because you think that you don't have a heart- but it's there. Just took a little thawing to find," Jason explained.

" What are you then?" Emmeline asked.

Jason was quiet before smiling and laughing. " The Cowardly Lion."

Emmeline quirked her lip at this and Jason caught her expression.

" Before I met you and Michael and before Lily returned I did what my family told me was right. You guys made me realize that I could do what I thought was right- you make me brave Ems."

There was a feeling in Emmeline's heart that seemed to melt the last piece of ice from her heart.

" What's Michael?"

Jason chuckled and wrapped a curl of her hair between his fingers. Emmeline leaned into his shoulder and could see Michael walking towards them.

" The Scarecrow- he's a stupid git, but he's our git," Jason declared. Emmeline laughed and Michael looped his arm around her shoulder before looking out the window with them.

" You never told me your son's name," Emmeline commented. Michael grinned with pride.

" Oliver. Abby's dad was cousins with Oliver Waterford's and she remembered that I wanted to name my kid after him," Michael answered.

" Oliver Wood," Emmeline stated. It rolled off her tongue and she smiled.

She'd seen a picture of Michael's kid. The picture was worn even though it was relatively new. Michael must have opened and refolded it many times.

" I'm transferring to Beauxabatons next year to stay with Abby and Oliver."

They were silent for a moment as the sun set slowly. Emmeline knew that she had two months left with Jason and Michael. They'd part in the summer and she knew in her heart that they were going to stay in touch and write and visit but it wouldn't be the same.

" I've got to go and make up a test for Professor Sprout, I'll see you guys at dinner," called Michael as he squeezed Emmeline's shoulder and hit Jason's. As he walked away, Jason watched him with a smile.

" See being friends with us gave him some conscience- we made him see that deep down inside he really did have some form of thought," he justified.

" I think he's growing up."

" I think all of us are."

" I wish we could stay in Oz forever," Emmeline sighed. Jason dropped her hair lock and laughed.

" Well Kansas has its benefits."

" Like what?"

" It's home Ems, we're going home."

* * *

May 1, 1977

Jason Gastor is a lion.

* * *

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	26. Christmas

**Chapter 26 Christmas**

**( How You Get the Girl)**

* * *

Yet to Come

November 1977

" I'm in so much pain Lily- I don't think that there's more good than bad in my life." Marlene muttered in a desperate voice. Her blonde hair was pulled tightly back from her beautiful face and Lily struggled not to hug the broken girl before her.

Lily lost so much in the past two years but Marlene was the surprise. The scars Marlene had weren't as visible as the ones staining Lily's once perfect skin. If anything, it was Marlene's eyes that showed the scars rippling under her surface.

" I think about the good things that matter so much more. Marlene it doesn't matter if there's more bad than good- if the good's bigger than the bad in your heart then it's worth it."

" But my bad outweighs the good! Sirius will never forgive me and my parents won't let me write to Adam, let alone see him," wailed Marlene.

And Lily thought this over. The night streaming in front of her sent wind that whipped her hair and Marlene's. All Lily could think about was the slow movement to her legs as she slowly came closer and closer to Marlene's form. She couldn't let Marlene jump no matter how screwed up things were.

" Marlene listen to me," Lily ordered as she stepped over the ledge of the railing. The height made her head spin and bile came to her throat. Lily hadn't ridden a broom in months. For Godric's sake she dropped Divination because she was too terrified to go up the tower. And now she stood on the ledge to the highest tower in Hogwarts.

" We're living in darkness but we're not blind- we're so damn bright that the dark is afraid of us," Lily vowed.

" If you jump then you're making the world a darker place Marls."

The old nickname slipped out of Lily's mouth. The girl in front of her resembled her Marlene more than the pieces that Marlene broke into. The girl in front of her was crying but there was strength in her eyes- something the broken girl did not possess.

Lily was only a foot away from Marlene when she extended her arm. Marlene eyed her scarred arm and Lily fought the urge to cover the bite mark and the black veins that would never go.

" If you jump then you're screwing the world over. You're going to become a healer and you're going to fight in the Order and we're going to save this world. But you have to take my hand first," explained Lily.

" I'm scared," confessed Marlene.

Lily smiled at this.

" Trust me Marlene- I ran away. I ran away and it ruined my life. If you really do love Sirius then you're not going to run. Running ruined me and James," Lily sighed.

The stars seemed to blind her. She could see a boy that loved the stars more than everything. She could see a boy that gave up the stars and moon and sun for her. And it broke her down to the core every minute that she breathed and he didn't.

There was a warm presence in her hand. Lily vaulted Marlene over the railing and tumbled after her onto the stone of the Astronomy Tower floor. A groan slipped out of her lips as she turned around and looked at the stars.

Marlene sat up and Lily could see tears streaming down her face like a volcano.

" It hurts so much Lily," she sobbed. Lily reached for her and pulled Marlene into her arms as she sobbed. Marlene's tears soaked her robes as Lily soothingly rubbed her back.

" I know Marls but it's going to get better, I promise," Lily vowed.

And as Lily held the girl that did not hold her when she needed someone to hold her broken pieces together, she thought about the good. She thought about the good she clung to- the good she held in the best light possible. Lily thought about why she never gave up and jumped or let the darkness consume her.

Lily thought about the two weeks of her life that was her good. The two weeks that gave her so much good that, even with so many people gone or dead, she could still breathe.

And Lily knew those two weeks down to the very second where James told her he loved her and she said it back. She knew the exact moment that she vowed she'd give him the sun and moon and stars. Really it was all because James gave her Christmas.

* * *

Past

December 1976

" As there's aurors patrolling the halls you lot won't need to. Have a good holiday and stay safe," Frank called as the prefect meeting ended.

The usually studious and attentive prefects were reduced in numbers. Some chose to stay at home and others, well their parents pulled them out of Hogwarts hours after death eaters cleared it. Yet the festive decorations that Alice Prewitt spent hours putting up seem to make up for the lack of people.

" I never thought it was going to end," Michael groaned. Lily's lips twitched and she looked around the car before answering.

" That doesn't sound very festive Mr. Wood," Lily teased. Michael caught her eyes and gestured to the very complex fairy lights stationed around the car.

" This is Christmas to the extreme. I'll bet you five galleons that Frank will be the kind of dad to stuff candy canes and peppermint down his kids' throats."

" I'm not going to take that bet."

Michael grinned as Emmeline and Adam walked over. He thought she believed he was right, but really Lily learned her lesson- she was never going to make another blasted bet for the rest of her life.

A sickening twist came to her stomach as she checked the time. The sun was beginning to set, yet even with hours until midnight, Lily knew that time was not on her side. By midnight James would retrieve her for the worst Christmas ever.

" Lils are you okay?" Emmeline asked as she watched Lily. Blinking, Lily smiled weakly and glanced at the arm Adam had casually wrapped around Emmeline's waist before meeting Emmeline's gaze.

" Yeah just thinking about Christmas break."

Adam smiled at her statement and grinned.

" Good plans?"

" Something of it."

" Well let's go to the cabin Gideon and Fabian secured for us. I believe that Frank owes me a game of Exploding Snap," Emmeline said as Adam and Michael started to glare at each other.

Lily could see Remus watching her as he spoke with Mulciber and Beatrice Crabbe. She looked to her friends and smiled weakly.

" I'll catch up with you guys. I have to talk to Remus about our project for Care of Magical Creatures," vocalized Lily. Her friends shot her sympathetic expressions before leaving in a flurry of laughter and jokes.

Lily made idle small talk with Amelia Bones and one of the fifth year Gryffindor prefects as she waited for Remus to leave the car. After minutes of a conversation about possible new Headmasters, Remus finally walked towards the door and Lily broke away from the two girls to trail after him. He walked into a cabin that was empty only because of the lack of people here.

Lily followed him in and shut the door, making sure to close the window blinds.

" I'll make this quick Lily," Remus said in a wary tone. Lily could make out bags under his eyes and a certain amount of looseness to his robes.

" You broke James's heart once and I'm not going to let anyone obliviate the memory from him again. He's got a plan to win you over in the next two week and I'd advise letting him."

" Why would I do that? James is a monster Remus," Lily said in a low voice. But Remus laughed bitterly.

" I'm observant… It just takes a little watching to see that you're probably in love with James, or at least fighting it," Remus mused. " And you're going to fight him these next two weeks- it's going to break his heart."

" So James told all of you lot about our little wager," Lily presumed. Remus's lips pulled up and his unusually white teeth pulled into a wild grin.

" It's all he talked about while we were packing after the party. He sounded like a kid Lily- James hasn't been a kid in a very long time and he deserves something that makes him happy."

Lily was quiet as she watched Remus and he watched her back.

" I don't need to explain anything to you," she finally justified.

" You're right- you have to explain it to James. Keep his heart safe for me Lily, he's actually a good person," Remus finished as he moved past her and out of the door. Lily remained in the cabin for a few minutes before wrenching the door open and finding the cabin her friends were in. She'd be damned to let James take these last few moments from her.

Adam won the Exploding Snap game. He won it twice before Frank finally admitted defeat and they packed the game up. Lily was wedged into a seat between Michael and Emmeline while Adam and Frank sat on the floor. Gideon and Fabian took the other side of the cabin.

Even though half of the people in this room had been injured, there was little discussion of the game. Lily guessed that Michael probably advise them not to bring it up in front of her.

" Where's Marlene?" Lily asked. Adam frowned and Emmeline coughed.

" Her mum came and flooed her out of the hospital wing. She's got a ball to attend tomorrow. Black's parents probably flooed him out too," Emmeline explained.

" Right."

There was silence as tiredness came over the group. They'd been through living hell only two days ago and gotten little sleep since then. So Lily enjoyed these last few hours with her friends, knowing that this could possibly be the last time she was with a majority of them.

She watched as Fabian leaned against Gideon and Emmeline stretched out over Adam. She watched as Frank snored and as Michael's drool landed on the window of the train. She took it in, this moment, for it might have been one of the quietest ones she had with the Gryffindors but it seemed the sweetest.

When it was a quarter to midnight, Lily slipped from Michael's arm and Emmeline's hair as she stood and left the cabin. The door shut quiet behind her and Lily walked towards the back of the train. She reached the door leading to her favorite spot and opened it. Icy winter air hit her form as she propped the door open and watched the landscape pass around the train.

Five months ago she sat her and read her parents' letters. And now Lily could not help but realize what she thought was a gold cage wasn't as much as a cage as an embrace, one she'd hate to break out of.

" You're not wearing a cloak."

" It's with my luggage."

" Which is in my cabin."

James's arms found their way around Lily's waist and she turned as he looked down at the watch he wore.

" Five seconds to midnight," he murmured. Five seconds of freedom left. Lily closed her eyes and counted down- it ended before she could open her eyes. James wrapped a cloak around her form and pulled her tightly next to him.

" Invisibility Cloak- past down in the family for generations," James explained as he led her from the cold back into the train. He shut the door and Lily watched him look around for her as she raised a hand from the cloak. He smiled and reached for it as they walked towards the Marauders' Cabin, the one they'd had since first year.

They were quiet, but there was no need as everybody it seemed aboard the train was sleeping. Yet aurors patrolled the corridors and Lily stiffened when she saw Kingsley and Caradoc Dearborn.

James walked past them and Lily glanced back wondering how Bishop was doing in the States. They continued in silence until finally James stopped in front of a cabin and pulled the door open.

Lily trailed after him and pulled the cloak off her shoulders as she looked around the dark cabin. Remus and Jason sat on one of the two benches sleeping. Remus's forehead was creased against the window and Jason snored softly.

" Sirius left early," James explained as Lily cautiously took a seat on the bench across from the pair. He folded the cloak carefully and reached to one of the trunks above them. Lily looked away as James's shirt stretched up.

" Marlene's parents pulled her out early."

James nodded and shut the trunk before taking a seat next to her. He stretched out and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

" I'm not going to Sirius's party."

James scoffed and ran a hand through his hair. Lily's fingers twitched as though they wanted to reach for James's. She crossed her arms over her chest and forced her hands into fists.

" Obviously- look can we talk about this tomorrow?" questioned James. Lily's throat felt heavy as she nodded and silence filled the cabin once again. She watched Jason sleep. He wasn't the slightest bit attractive at the moment Lily concluded. With his head tilted up, his mouth fell open and a soft snore came out.

" How did you manage to play today? Mungos wouldn't let you out for a week with your injuries," James mused.

Lily's arm prickled and she shrugged. " I'm much better at the confundus charm than obliviating."

James laughed lowly. " So lying isn't always enough?"

" I'm shite at lying James- I mean without magic people would have realized who I am a long time ago."

" Why do you do it?"

Lily craned her neck back and stared at James. She chewed on her lower lip and for the first time in a year didn't know the answer to that question. She was going to have to tell the truth soon and Emmeline and Adam may have understood why she did this but there were going to be people like Alice who question it.

" I don't want to fight," settled Lily. James looked away and crossed his arms. There was tension surrounding them, tension that had not been there a night ago. But a night ago Lily stood a chance at fighting James. Now she was at his mercy and the future wasn't clear.

* * *

When the train stopped at King's Cross- only hours after midnight, Lily remained silent as James, Remus, and Jason exchanged words of goodbye. She looked out the window to the almost empty Platform and watched as Emmeline apparated herself and Michael to Adam's house. Adam trailed after them and looked at the train. Lily could almost afford to imagine that he was looking at her.

" Ready to go?"

Lily looked up to James and nodded. She glanced back to the window- Adam was gone and the Prewitt twins were walking towards a girl with the same ginger hair as them.

James reached for her hand and Lily squeezed his as he grabbed their luggage and led her out of the train. Platform 9 ¾ was almost empty when James stopped at a house elf who reached for their luggage and took his other hand, apparating them to Potter Manor.

Lily shut her eyes and stumbled as they landed outside of a gate. James caught her and she smiled sheepishly at him.

" I'm not great with apparating," explained Lily.

" I'll try to be there to catch you."

Butterflies filled Lily's stomach and she looked away from James. They landed on what seemed to be the entrance to Potter Manor. Lights illuminated a pathway behind the gate and Lily could make out the large structure of the house in the view.

" Sorry, there's charms on Potter Manor that keeps anyone who isn't family from being able to apparate in," James clarified.

" Smart idea," Lily offered. James chuckled and pressed his hand against the wrought metal gate. The gateway silently opened and James gestured to the snow-cleared path as he took the trunks from the elf and raised his wand.

" The ministry never sends letters if you use magic here… I think they're under the impression it's the least they can do for an orphan of two people who did a lot to change the wizarding world."

James sounded almost bitter as he levitated the luggage in front of them and started to walk. Lily trailed after him and chewed on her lower lip. The gardening work leading up to the manor reminded her oddly of the set up in front of Gastor Manor. But if Gastor Manor was built to emphasize wealth and prominence, then Potter Manor seemed to be something of artwork.

Lily could hardly see the expanse of the entire house, as it seemed to lead into a large forest. She could make out the light of a village nearby behind them.

" Godric's Hallow- it's a muggle town but there's some wizarding folk in the area. The manor's charmed to keep the muggles away," James continued.

" Awfully close to the village…"

" It used to be a wizarding village, like Hogsmeade- but time does its damage," James offered.

Lily nodded and shivered in her cloak, wishing she'd had her wand with her. But sadly, she'd left it in her trunk.

After a few more minutes, they reached the house and the elf with them opened the door. It wasn't Gastor Manor, not at all.

There was something like screamed comfort to Gastor Manor. Lily supposed it was the five boys that trailed messes after them and that her mum traveled for her work. But Potter Manor although elegant in its design, which was surprisingly liberally simple, seemed empty.

It was empty of the messes that trailed after happy people.

In that moment, Lily could understand why James could possibly want her family. Growing up in a huge house with a set of parents older than others must have been awfully lonely.

" You look exhausted, we can talk in the morning," James finally stated. But this James was different than the one who ruled Hogwarts and was the envy of his generation. This James was lonely and terrified of being alone. Lily understood why he made the bet in the first place. Spending two weeks in a house this large alone would terrify Lily too.

The next morning, Lily struggled not to hex James when he finally brought her luggage to her. Spending a night in his room with little choice made Lily feel stupid for even trying to sympathize with him.

" Do Potters starve before they reach breakfast?" Lily asked as they continued on the long walk from James's room to the dining room. James chuckled and tapped his fingers along her hip.

" Gets rid of the weak," he replied.

" So how are you still alive?" Lily questioned innocently. James's lips twitched but he merely rolled his eyes and led her down a side staircase. Lily's mind spun as she tried, in vain, to remember the way back to James's room or the entrance hall.

" I think I might need a map," she muttered as they reached the ground floor. James's room was two floors up. That was the sole bit of information Lily managed to gather.

" You'll figure it out. It took my mum years though," James voiced. Lily wanted to protest this but James led her into a kitchen. She frowned at it- it wasn't nearly large enough for a manor this size.

" My grandmum had this one built to avoid the formal dining room. There's another one below the ballroom and formal dining room- works just like the Great Hall in Hogwarts."

" You've been to the kitchens?"

" Not all of us spend our time in the library. Besides if Remus runs out of chocolate he'd bite one of our heads off," admitted James. Lily bit her lower lip as he led her to a table set up near the end of the room. There was a large window opposite it and a set of doors nearby leading to the surrounding grounds.

The table was already set and filled with food as Lily took a seat across from James and picked a piece of dust from her baggy sweater.

" So what's the agenda today?" Lily asked harshly. James looked up from his waffles and met her gaze.

" I'm going to Sirius's ball and you're free to unpack or do whatever you want on the Manor property."

Lily chewed on a piece of toast and mulled this over. She had a vague idea of what she wanted to do if James was going to be out, but it was risky and maybe not even worth it.

" You'll be fine alone right? The elves will be around and I'll be back before tomorrow," James reassured. Lily finally met his gaze and smiled.

" I'll be fine- we've got that History of Magic work. I'll get it over with and do some of my Divination stuff," Lily replied. But there was a plan forming in her mind, a plan that was entirely feasible as long as James was out of the house.

She was on the Knight Bus. The minute James left for the Black Country Estate after lunch, Lily headed for Godric's Hallow and summoned the bus. Her heart raced as it zipped through England.

The street Professor McGonagall told her about was burned into Lily's head. It was her home- the place where Lily Evans lived. But beneath the lies, Lily knew there was something more to Cokeworth. Darcy Auclair was anything but stupid and he must have chosen this location for a reason, one Lily planned to find out before James returned.

Within an hour, they reached Cokeworth and Lily handed a galleon to the bus driver as she stepped off. Her wand was tucked into the material of her left boot as Lily walked through the snow-covered town square.

Cokeworth was a sleepy town. A layer of coal dust seemed to surround it from above and Lily could make out dirt in the nearby river. Most of the houses were dark and the windows covered with layered dust.

The snow crinkled under her shoes and fat flakes landed on her hair. Lily rubbed her arms wishing she'd brought a cloak or a coat. But she continued on. She came to the intersection at Spinner's End and Windsor Row, choosing the latter.

The houses on Windsor Row seemed brighter than most in Cokeworth. Lily could make out Christmas decorations and laughter inside them as she trudged to 21 Windsor Row.

Reaching it, Lily concluded it was the brightest and loudest house on the street. The windows were clean of coal dust and the house had a fresh yellow paint staining its walls. Lily could see people inside and walked up the cleared pathway.

Her hand hovered over the lion shaped knocker before pressing it down. After a moment the door swung open and a pair of warm grey eyes met hers.

" Come inside it's freezing dear," a woman with a warm smile greeted. Lily was hustled into the lively house and the door shut behind her.

" Petunia said some of her friends from Uni were dropping by," the woman continued as she led Lily to the living room. " I'm afraid she hasn't mentioned you."

But before Lily could protest and explain this entire misunderstanding, she saw the family picture hanging above the fireplace. Next to a girl with dark locks and a long neck was a boy gangly with strawberry locks and warm grey eyes that the woman in front of her had.

" Harland Evans," Lily whispered. She'd watched this boy die… He was the first person that died in front of her in England, but certainly not the last. The woman looked at her with slight sadness.

" My son, Harland," she said gesturing to the boy. " He died last year on that train explosion near Sheffield."

" I was on the train."

" I'm so sorry my dear."

Lily looked away from the picture and to the woman with warm eyes. Mrs. Evans was watching her carefully and Lily swallowed as she spoke.

" I'm sorry for your loss."

Mrs. Evans's eyes glowed and she rubbed her palms against the surface of her sweater and skirt.

" Thank you. Harland was a good boy. We lived in Wales for most of his education but my husband and I couldn't manage living there so we moved back to Cokeworth. Harland's father grew up here," Mrs. Evans babbled.

" You have a lovely home," Lily greeted. Mrs. Evans smiled at her and looked over her figure before continuing.

" My husband seems to like it but my daughter Petunia prefers places less dirty," Mrs. Evans laughed.

Lily bit her tongue, remembering that Harland said he had a sister named Helen. Maybe it was Petunia's middle name or a nickname…

" You never told me your name," she said nonchalantly. Lily opened her mouth but shut it. Lily Evans was gone. Lily Evans was the name she took in honor of Harland and it would be entirely wrong to use it on his family.

So she chose to give his family the same honesty that she gave him.

" It's Lily, Lily Gastor," Lily answered. She was using her name for the first time in a year and it sounded painfully nostalgic. Mrs. Evans's eyes widened slightly and she looked down to Lily's wrist where her family bracelet sat.

" My father used to say something quite often. Never tickle a sleeping dragon."

And in that instant Lily knew that there was more to 21 Windsor Row besides it being her fake home. A witch inhabited it.

Mrs. Evans caught her expression and laughed.

" You should hide your wand better."

Before Lily could make a run for it, Mrs. Evans looked around the room and leaned towards her.

" I'm a squib."

" Oh."

Lily reached down and adjusted her wand. Mrs. Evans' eyes followed her hand and she reached for Lily's hand, leading her from the filled room to the kitchen. Mrs. Evans shut the door and turned to Lily.

" Why are you in my house?"

Lily blinked and checked the clock before answering. " My godfather, Darcy Auclair, he made it clear to me that there was something important here."

Mrs. Evans' face fell when she said Darcy's name. She pursed her lips and rubbed her hands down on her skirt.

" I didn't keep up much with the Wizarding World ever since I turned eighteen. Both of my kids didn't inherit magic," Mrs. Evans started in a low voice. She brushed a lock of fading strawberry from her face and continued.

" I stopped completely when my sister married Darcy Auclair."

Time slipped as Lily's mind worked quickly. She frowned and could see the Whitewood bone structure in Mrs. Evans' stance and the gentle tilt to her nose, the same one that Lily's godmother once had.

" Aunt Rose never mentioned having a sister," Lily muttered, disbelieving this entire conversation. Mrs. Evans smiled bitterly and shrugged.

" My parents liked to keep it quiet. They sent me to a muggle school in the states under the guise that I attended Salem's institute, when Rose got married most people forgot about me. The Whitewoods, well our family mostly faded out in your parents generation," Mrs. Evans stated.

Lily swallowed and tried to bottle the confusion in her gut.

" So this house being the residence of Lily Evans was no coincidence," she assumed.

" I left the Wizarding World behind, not my family. Darcy contacted me last year and asked for this favor. If it weren't for your father's affinity with Charmwork then your appearance would give you away. You take after him," Mrs. Evans clarified.

" People say I take after my mum," Lily replied in a confused voice.

" In appearances yes, but I don't think I've met anyone so invested in others as William," Mrs. Evans laughed bitterly.

There was a moment of silence and she sighed. " You have his smile."

" This house burned down," Lily finally said. " My teacher said that it was burned to the ground."

Mrs. Evans' eyes filled with slight amusement. " I might not be a witch but there's enough people willing to do me some favors. I had to ensure that no one would come looking for any of your family. I agreed to help Darcy, but not to die."

" Smart thinking," Lily, acknowledged.

" Underdogs have to be smart."

Mrs. Evans leaned against the counter of the kitchen and crossed her arms. Her eyes skimmed Lily's frame carefully before stopping at her eyes.

" Darcy left you something from his connections in the French Ministry. It's an international bank account- completely untraceable and muggle. I think he had a feeling you'd need to disappear," Mrs. Evans revealed.

" I have the documents somewhere in the house. I can get them to you before Christmas. But don't come back. I left the Wizarding World to get away from the war and I'm not going to get dragged back into it."

" The War's on your doorstep Mrs. Evans," Lily voiced. " If you really wanted to get away from it you wouldn't stay in England."

Mrs. Evans's mouth fell slightly and she closed it quickly. Her eyes narrowed and she raised her chin. Lily smiled bitterly at her.

" It's your choice to stay under the radar but if you're interested in doing the right thing then I'd advise writing Alastor Moody," Lily continued.

" I think you should leave now," Mrs. Evans replied. Lily shrugged and walked to the door with Mrs. Evans following her to the door. She turned around to face the woman with fierce eyes.

" I was best friends with Benjy, Darcy and Rose's son," Lily said. Mrs. Evans' lips pulled into a bitter smile.

" We fought over names for our kids, Helen and Benjamin. She wanted to name her daughter Helen more than anything in the world."

" Did you?" Lily asked. " Name your daughter Helen."

Mrs. Evans's eyes turned cold. " Petunia's middle name is Helen. I'll send you the documents for the bank account. Maybe you'll put some good use to the estate my brother-in-law must have left you. Most of it's Whitewood money. The Auclairs were bankrupted back in my generation."

" I didn't know that," Lily offered. " I can send you some of the money." Mrs. Evans laughed bitter sweetly and shook her head as she leaned against the doorframe to her home.

" I'm rich in the things that matter," she answered gesturing to the house filled with laughter and light. " You keep your money, maybe it'll be consolation for the war."

Mrs. Evans shut the door leaving Lily bathed in the light of the house. And Lily walked away with her shoes crinkling against the snow.

Not paying attention to where she was going, Lily hit a figure and looked to apologize. She met a pair of deep black eyes and a face surrounded by greasy black hair.

" Sorry," she muttered. The man grunted in acknowledgement and walked past her. Lily waited till he was around the corner before summoning the Knight Bus. She didn't know that he turned in time to see her get on it and leave.

Lily also didn't know that in almost a year she'd know more than just the man's name and that he lived in Cokeworth. But that's a story for a later day…

Lily spent the rest of the day exploring Potter Manor. She'd made sure to bring a house elf with her who babbled on about the history of the large and haunting house.

It was worse than she'd expected. Her childhood home, although large, had numbers to occupy it. But deep down, Lily could understand what James went through. It was the same feeling that drove her to flying to that Christmas Ball and being banished….

When James got back, Lily was in the library flipping idly through a copy of _Hogwarts a History_. There was something low to his gaze as she turned to face him.

" How was it?" she asked as she shut the book and twirled a lock of her hair around her finger. James kneeled in front of her with a tight expression.

" Minister Bagnold is stepping down next June."

* * *

James was gone by the time Lily woke up the next morning. She showered quickly and shoved a pair of jeans and a hoodie on before tying her hair up into a braid.

Lily vaguely remembered the right direction to the kitchen and stumbled into it. James was already at the table speaking with one of the elves.

" Hey."

Lily crammed a waffle into her mouth and ignored James's greeting. Her mind was still shaking from the news of Minister Bagnold stepping down. She could hear James walking towards her as she swallowed the waffle and took a sip from the glass of orange juice near her plate.

" What's on the agenda today?" she inquired while James ate. He grinned and stood after finishing his juice in one gulp.

" Christmas is on the agenda."

Lily raised her eyebrow at his statement and James led her to the living room where a handful of house elves and many boxes awaited. Peering inside, Lily could see decorations in the typical Christmas colors.

She frowned and wanted to tell James that decorating his empty pathetic house was the last thing she could possibly want to do. But there was something desperate in his eyes, something that made it seem as though the world was going to end if they didn't spend the day decorating.

She sighed and brushed loose locks of hair from her face. Lily opened the dusty boxes and gave the house elves a regretful look as she examined the contents of one box.

" Are you good with decoration charms?"

James looked up from a box and managed to tangle a set of fairy lights within five minutes. " I've never tried them before," he admitted.

" Well we'll just have to figure this out," Lily decided.

It turned out that Christmas decorations were a lot harder than Professor Flitwick made them out to be. Boxes lined the hallway leading to the large living room while house elves helped Lily and James decorate the rooms of the manor.

Wreaths and garlands coated surfaces almost in a clichéd way. James managed to figure out the fairy lights and had them up and working after a few hours.

Mostly, it was the house elves decorating efficiently and greatly while James and Lily struggled to figure out the simplest of decorations.

" I think that goes on a Christmas tree," Lily offered. Her sleeves were pushed up and there was glitter in her hair as James surveyed a collection of orbs.

" I dunno. I think they're supposed to go on a Chandelier," he corrected.

" Putting those on a Chandelier is how you break a Chandelier."

" Fine," James submitted. He wiped his forehead and his eyes gleamed as he met hers. " But there must be something for the trees leading up to the manor."

So they went outside and after tiring charm work, James and Lily managed to decorate one tree while the elves did the rest. James grinned at their tree and ran a hand through his hair.

" It's glorious!"

" It took two hours," Lily answered blandly. James turned to her and laughed.

" Two hours well worth it," he replied as he looped his arm around her shoulders. After thanking, the elves, they walked back to the decorated Manor and Lily collapsed into the couch.

" Come on Christmas we've still got the tree," James declared in an energetic voice. Lily brushed a loose lock of her hair back and yawned.

" Tomorrow," she replied. James sat next to her and made a noise of protest.

" Is Christmas Eve," he explained. " If we finish tonight then we can spend tomorrow doing Christmassy stuff."

Lily raised an eyebrow at his statement.

" Christmassy stuff?"

" You know eating cauldron cakes and wearing cheesy sweaters," James answered dismissively. His legs were stretched out in front of them and Lily struggled to keep down a laugh.

" If we're not done before dinner then I'll bite your head off."

James turned his head and grinned at her. " That's Remus. You'd hex me."

" Git."

" But I'm your favorite git."

" No that's Black."

" Don't be a Grinch," James declared. Lily smiled as she stood and stretched her back. James was still on the couch wearing a tired smile. There was glitter on his shirt and dust in his hair.

" Let's go and decorate a bloody tree," Lily announced as she pulled James up.

" We have to get it first," James explained. " You're not afraid of the dark right?"

* * *

James Potter woke up on Christmas Eve later than he had in years. He groaned as he eyed the clock and saw it was nearing eleven. There was a muggy feeling to his limbs and he regretted insisting that he and Lily went to the forest surrounding Godric Hallow and cut down the best tree they could find.

It turns out that lumberjacks had a harder time then they made it look. To top it off, Lily finally got into the Christmas spirit and insisted that they decorate the bloody tree well into the night. James swore that he still smelled like pine.

His fingers groped the nightstand by his bed and James shoved his glasses onto his face before noticing that Lily wasn't beside him. Frowning, he ran a hand through his hair and got out of bed.

Ignoring the dizziness in his head, James walked from his room and smelled something heavenly as he put his head into the hallway. Following the scent, he made his way to the kitchen.

His feet refused to move as he watched one of the strangest things he'd seen since meeting Lily. James met her eyes and they pulled up into a smile as she blew a strand of hair from her face.

" Hi."

He managed to speak.

" Hey."

The elves were watching Lily with suspicious eyes as she did something in the kitchen. Her eyes narrowed and she regarded James in amusement.

" Do you want to help or stand there?"

Embarrassment came over him and James walked to Lily. She stood behind the island counter with a mess of ingredients around her. There was a bowl near her filled with batter than smelled incredible and the oven smelled even better. There was a streak of batter on her cheek and substances stained the jeans and t-shirt she wore.

James eyed the shirt that hung off her shoulder loosely.

" Is that mine?"

" I didn't want to ruin mine," Lily answered innocently as she stirred the batter. She looked over to James quickly and looked back to the batter.

" So are you immune to the cold," Lily asked. James frowned in confusion and she turned her head to meet his gaze. There was a flush rising from her neck to her cheeks deliciously.

" James you forgot a shirt," muttered Lily.

" Huh you're right," said James as he looked down and saw that he'd left his room without one. " Does it bother you?"

" I'm not going to answer that question," Lily replied while she pulled her wand out and chewed on her lower lip.

" My mum's cauldron cake recipe. I can't make them as good as she did," Lily sighed as her wand whipped over the batter. James watched it levitate towards a metal tray and land in a cauldron-shaped form.

" They smell good."

" That's the vanilla extract," Lily explained as hit the batter with another spell. Her movements seemed almost nostalgic and James ran a hand through his hair as he watched her.

" How do you know how to bake?" he questioned wondering if Lily would notice if he tried some of that vanilla extract. It was in a bottle closer to him than her…

" My godfather was all about being self efficient- he wasn't terribly fond of house elves," Lily explained. She glanced towards where two elves stood watching them. James coughed and gave them a tired grin.

" We'll clean up. Why don't you guys make sure there's no clippings from the tree on the ground?"

The elves nodded and reluctantly left. There was a frown on Lily's face as she watched him.

" Knut for your thought?"

Lily was quiet for a moment before speaking. " I never expected you to be so attentive to the elves," she revealed.

James blanched and Lily met his gaze quickly.

" I don't mean that I thought you'd hit them or anything. It's just that most people don't understand that elves sort of like doing what they do," Lily babbled.

James looked at her nimble hands and shrugged.

" My granddad used to hit them with his cane… I think my dad always felt sort of in debt to them- his mum died giving birth to him and he was raised by them," James justified.

Lily nodded and turned back to the batter. She jutted her head towards the oven.

" Can you take the first batch out without burning yourself?"

" Have a little faith in me Christmas," James answered as he took his wand out and opened the oven. He levitated the tray out and his stomach let out a noise when he saw the cinnamon covered cauldron cakes.

After putting it down on top of the oven, James reached for one and yelped. Lily whirled around and her eyes narrowed as she took in the scene.

" You have to let them cool!" she scolded.

" They look good," James protested.

" And they'll taste even better than they look if they don't burn your tongue," Lily chastised. James smirked when he saw her face and reached over to wipe the batter off her cheek.

His thumb scraped over the soft surface of Lily's cheek and he slowly titled her head up. Lily swallowed as she watched him. Her eyes were wide and doe-like and James felt his heart speed up as her hands found the skin of his abdomen. He shivered as she trailed them over his torso.

" Why do you have so many scars?" Lily asked in a shy voice. James bit back a curse and fought the urge to step back.

" Roughhousing with the boys," he answered weakly. Lily's index finger was on a long scar he'd gotten while learning how to become a stag two years ago. James nearly jumped as she traced it.

" This… Well I-," Lily started. She was cut off as James reached behind her and grabbed the bottle of vanilla extract. Lily's eyes widened as he popped the bottle open and moved to his mouth.

" James don't drink that," she squeaked. Lily reached for the bottle and James raised it above his head. Lily met his gaze desperately.

" Why not?"

Lily froze and looked thoughtful. There was a gleam in her eyes, a gleam that looked very mischievous.

" Because I was going to drink it," she answered guiltily.

" We'll share," James stated as he held the bottle above his open mouth and poured it in. The scent did little to improve the taste.

" Merlin's underpants that's shite!" he exclaimed. James sprinted for the sink and spat it out. Lily was laughing behind him. He gagged on the taste of the vanilla extract and turned the water on. Peals of laughter rose from Lily as he wiped his tongue of the foul substance.

" Oh Circe I can't believe you just did that," Lily gasped as she caught her breath. James shut the water off and whirled around to glare at her. She was clutching her stomach and the bottle of vanilla extract was on the ground.

" You tricked me," James accused.

" I told you not to drink it," Lily shrugged.

" Well you should have tried harder," James pouted. He ran a hand through his hair and Lily's eyes darted up to it before meeting his.

" I'm assuming the cakes are foul as well," James sniffed. Lily reached for one and didn't get burned as she took a bite. She grinned and swallowed it.

" No they're terrific."

James approached the tray and poked one as Lily munched on hers. She gave him a disbelieving look as he shoved his in her direction.

" Make sure it's safe," he demanded.

" They're fine," Lily said rolling her eyes.

" How can I trust you?

" You're going to have to- we're getting married remember?" Lily answered. James gaped at her and she flushed under his observation.

" What?"

James shook his head as he nibbled on the cake and eventually took a bite.

" You don't really talk about our future like that. I think the last time I brought it up you said something along the lines of rather dying," James said bitterly.

Lily was quiet and turned around. James finished the cake; too stubborn to tell her it was good.

" I ran away when I found out," Lily admitted. She didn't turn. " I'm done running from you."

What she didn't know was that James would quote that exact line to her in a year.

" Thank you."

Lily turned and had a smile on her face as she reached up and pulled something from James's hair. He could see a spring of pine in her hand.

" You should shower."

" Join me?" James asked in a drawl.

" Don't be a prat," Lily answered. James wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned down. He licked her neck and Lily jumped back.

" You had something there," James said with a grin. Lily's cheeks were a rosy red and she whacked him with the spiral device she stirred with.

" Try that again and I'll have to jinx you," she threatened.

" You like me much too much to jinx me," James replied.

" Want to test that?"

James eyed her wand and took a step back.

" I'll take that shower now," he stated. With a glance at Lily's wand he swallowed. " Alone for now."

James sprinted out of the room before he could find out if Lily would stick to her threat.

After showering, James asked Lily if she wanted to do any Christmas shopping.

" It's a little late for shopping," Lily noted. James rolled his eyes at her statement and swallowed his cauldron cake.

" So you're telling me that you finished shopping," he answered.

Lily got a sheepish look and James smirked.

" There was a Transfiguration test. I'd rather get an O then go shopping, " Lily explained.

They managed to get to Diagon Alley quick enough. As most people had finished shopping, there weren't many witches and wizards around.

Finding stores that were open was a struggle. Finally, Lily led James to the Magical Menagerie so she could get Jason a new cage for his owl. But Lily spent a good deal of time ogling the cats in a pet store.

" Isn't he adorable?" she sighed as an employee handed her brown and orange kitten. James eyed the cat suspiciously. Its ears drooped slightly making James believe it was part kneazle. The creature purred as Lily rubbed her thumb over its fur.

" Don't you have an owl?"

Lily's expression crumpled.

" Hestia died."

They left the pet store after that and headed for separate stores. Lily went to the robes store to get something for Marlene and James told her that he was going to get a rare book on Charmwork for Remus while he went back to the Menageries and bought that cat.

He barely managed to summon an elf to take it to Potter Manor and get the book for Remus before meeting Lily in the Quidditch Supply Store.

She was eying a set of dragon hide skin Beater's gloves when he caught up to her. There were several bags surrounding her small figure.

" How many things did you buy?" James asked as he walked behind her. She shrugged and picked up a set of gloves.

" I had to get Marlene a good gift and there was a set of combs that would look great with Alice's hair and I found this quill from India that Adam would love. Fabian's gloves got ruined in the last game so I think these would be a good gift," Lily babbled.

" This is why I have three friends- they're low maintenance," James scoffed.

" Black is anything but low maintenance, " Lily corrected as she bought the gloves.

" Look I just buy Remus enough chocolate to build a small house and a book. Jason's easy enough, I usually get him something related to Charms or Astronomy and season tickets to the Arrows because he hates them and Sirius…." James started. He ran a hand through his hair as he lifted Lily's purchases.

" Well Sirius sometimes likes my gifts," James muttered. Lily pulled something out of a bag and handed it to him.

" It's hair stuff from Morocco- took me forever to find." Seeing James's look she rolled her eyes. " Black can't get hair like that naturally, not that I was thinking of him or anything. I just saw it and remembered Jason telling me that Sirius was worried about his hair."

James dropped the bottle back into the bag and grinned at her.

" He's the abandoned dog that you take in because it's so pathetic on your doorstop. Admit it," he goaded. Lily wrinkled her nose and toyed with the clasp of her cloak.

" Black's more like a leech with good hair," Lily replied.

" No he's a dog."

Lily titled her head and spoke. " He does resemble a dog. I mean his eyes look like a dog's."

James laughed and wondered how Sirius would respond to that.

" So did you get anything for me?" he asked.

" You'll have to wait till tomorrow," Lily voiced.

They continued on and stopped at the Leaky Cauldron for a drink before going back to Potter Manor for a game of chess and a conversation that would change James's life.

* * *

It was a Christmas that changed her life. And it was all because James kept her before society and tradition. Lily told James that she loved him that day because she knew that they were making traditions that would last for their lives.

It was a white Christmas and Lily woke to James ripping open the canopy of his bed and hitting her with a pillow.

" It's Christmas Lilyflower!"

Lily groaned and buried her face into another pillow. James tugged at the blanket and she growled at him.

" Wake up," James ordered.

" Why? All we need to do today is get dressed for tonight," Lily groaned.

" No- we're opening presents today morning," James explained. Lily frowned into the pillow and sat up. She shoved a lock of her hair back and James gave her a toothy grin.

" That's not tradition," Lily reminded.

" For most purebloods yes, but you're having a Potter Family Christmas this year," James answered confidently.

Lily felt her heart skip a beat and grinned at him as she pushed the blankets back and stood. After brushing her teeth, James forced her out of the bathroom and shoved a sweatshirt on before dragging her after him down the stairs.

Lily tugged on the t-shirt she'd borrowed from him as she gazed at the boxes lining the tree's surroundings.

" The elves brought the ones from your friends," James explained. Lily sent hers the night before. She hoped Michael would like the Peruvian Dark Powder she'd gotten shipped three months earlier. And hopefully Emmeline would like the Phoenix feather quill and set of stationary.

James reached for a box and read the label as Lily sat next to him in front of the tree and next to the fireplace. He tossed it to her.

" It's from McKinnon," he said.

" Which one?" Lily asked as she tore the wrapping open. She didn't need to know when she saw what was inside. Lily laughed; she'd gotten Adam the same exact gift.

_For the places we're going to go- Adam McKinnon._

" Wait," she told James. She set up the camera on the stand it came with and set it to take a picture. Lily grabbed James's arm and pulled him up.

The camera flashed and Lily grinned at James.

" Merry Christmas Lily," James murmured as he tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. Lily leaned up and tugged him by his sweatshirt before meeting his lips in a soft kiss.

He tasted like peppermint and apples and love.

" Merry Christmas James."

She pocketed the picture and folded the camera up as James neatly unwrapped a gift. He pulled out an ugly sweater and grimaced.

" Molly Weasley sends one every year… She used to babysit me when my parents were working during the summers, " James explained. Lily could see a quaffle on it and grinned as she boxed the camera back up.

" It's adorable you should wear it," she snickered. James gave her a sour look and put it back in the box.

Lily reached for another box and saw it was from Fabian and Gideon. She paused when she opened it and found an album inside of it.

" I didn't know they could scrapbook," she murmured as she flipped through the photo collection filled with pictures from Gryffindor parties and Quidditch games. Lily's finger paused at the last one of all her Gryffindor friends sleeping in a giant clump around the couches in the common room.

Her hair was curling in the picture and her legs were sprawled over Michael and her head rested in Marlene's lap. Lily's lip twitched when she saw that Frank was sprawled over the couch and Alice was on him partially.

She closed the album and kept it with the camera before reaching for the next box. Frank sent her a rather worn book on spells that most of their Defense Teachers probably hadn't heard of.

" Thank Merlin for Sirius," James sighed as he shut a box before Lily could look inside.

" What did he send?"

" I wouldn't want to tarnish your perfect prefect record Christmas," James answered. Seeing Lily's pout he smirked. " Let's just sat we're going to return to school with a bang."

And James did, but not the kind of bang he planned out. The bang that happened when he returned to school tore his heart to bits and pieces.

Lily grinned as she admired the robes Marlene sent and the stack of books from Emmeline. Alice managed to send a card from her and Frank and a set of new quills.

After putting down the enchanted earrings from Selena, Lily found Michael's gift. She could see a growing pile surrounding James as he read a letter from someone.

Her fingers caught on something and Lily saw a small box painted sky blue. She pried it open and yelped when water came out. A small sun shower exploded from the box and a rainbow came through the thin clouds streaming in the air.

_For the storms we're going make together._

Lily pocketed the note and shut the box. James was watching and his eyes were narrowed as she placed the box on her stack of gifts.

" Who's it from?"

" Michael."

James nodded and ran a hand through his hair as he packed up a new broom cleaning kit. He stood and walked around the tree bringing a big box out with him.

" Open this one," James ordered.

Lily gaze him a slightly annoyed look and pulled the bow loose before slipping the lid of the box off. She could hear something move inside and frowned as she gazed inside.

Lily's frown disappeared and she let out a soft noise as she pulled the kitten from the store out of the box.

" You didn't, " she murmured. The kitten purred against her and wore a red bow around its neck. Its large eyes met hers and Lily looked up to James with a soft smile.

" You got me a cat."

James smirked and whistled. The kitten looked to him and got off Lily to circle James. It pawed at him and he watched her.

" It's part Kneazle- no cat could be this smart," he explained before lifting the cat and handing it to her. Lily took it gently and rubbed its stomach.

" It's a boy."

" I think I'll name him Bambi," Lily decided. James groaned and gave her a tight look.

" We've been over this… I' m a stag," he muttered. Lily placed Bambi down and shuffled over to him. She smiled and squeezed his hand.

" You'll always be Bambi to me," she declared after smacking a kiss on his cheek. Lily moved back to her gifts and finished opening them.

" What did Jason get you?" she asked after they finished cleaning the wrapping paper and got the gifts back to James's room. Bambi was sleeping on his bed and Lily was sitting on James's desk while he stuffed gifts in places.

" Season tickets to Arrows games," James muttered with distaste. Catching Lily's expression he laughed.

" Aren't both of you Puddlemere fans?"

" We always get each other Arrows tickets and force each other to sit through games. He also got me a subscription to _Transfiguration Today_ and the newest chocolate frog figure," James continued.

" Who is it?"

" Heathcote Barbary founder of-"

" The Weird Sisters," Lily answered holding up a set of tickets. James frowned at them.

" There's a concert coming up. I got tickets for Marlene to go with Michael and I guess Jason got some for us," Lily explained. Along with the tickets to the concert, Jason had gotten her a new cloak, one that was fantastic.

He also filled her muggle bank account with at least half of the money she'd inherited from the Auclairs and Lilius family but James didn't need to know about that.

" That's a big coincidence, " James drawled as he winked at her. Lily shoved him and he grinned.

" Jason's got a horrible day ahead of him. I remember my parents freaking out the last time we held the ball. It was between me and Jason and I think the committee gave it to him because Pericles is still sort of around," James admitted.

" Committee?"

" The Heads of Pureblood families are supposed to gather once a month. Since I'm not of age I get a representative, Lachlan Rosier," James explained. Catching Lily's expression he clarified this.

" Evan's illegitimate uncle."

" I didn't know the Rosiers had an uncle."

" He's the only mischievous one in the bunch. They're all straight-laced gits. Lachlan built a joke shop empire- he owns Zonkos," James continued.

" So you chose him to make mischief," Lily summed up.

" Now you're getting me," James replied.

Lily glanced at the clock and sighed.

" We're going to have to get ready soon," she muttered. James nodded and glanced at the clock.

" We've got time for a snowball fight," he noted morosely. His lips twitched and Lily stood as she looked outside. The grounds of Potter Manor were covered in snow.

" I grew up with brothers," Lily started. " You're going down."

" Well I slept in the same room as Sirius and Jason for six years."

" So you're a formidable opponent," Lily concluded before following James outside. After a long snowball fight, where James surrendered, Lily was lying next to him in the snow.

She watched clouds send snowflakes down to the ground and felt them land on her hands and cheeks. James was playing with a lock of her hair as the day started to shift and they were going to have to get ready soon.

" Why do you call me Christmas?" Lily questioned in a breathless voice. James looked at the sky and pointed to a cloud.

" That one looks like a dragon," he concluded. Lily rolled onto her side and faced him. His eyes darted to her form before going back to the sky.

" You didn't answer my question," Lily protested. James ran a hand through his hair and shrugged.

" You look like Christmas."

" Secrets aren't fun Jamie," Lily pouted. James's eyes sunk and his ears turned red and Lily had a feeling that had nothing to do with the cold.

" It's stupid."

" Tell me," Lily implored. James sighed and took his glasses off. He rubbed his eyes and sat up.

" My mum used to work a lot. Like she would miss my birthday to save a life Lily. And how could I blame her- she was saving lives!" James laughed bitterly.

" My dad… Well his mind was a million years away. He was a genius- got the highest score ever on the DADA NEWTs right next to Dumbledore. Went into Experiential spell work and made a bunch of charms and theories after retiring and going into politics," James muttered.

" They tried to be around. They did try," he sighed. " But I think my parents didn't love each other, at least not in the way your parents were in love. They spent Christmas with me. Both of them played Quidditch with me at dawn and Mum would try to cook but she was awful at it. Dad would bride the elves to switch her dishes out and I think she knew but didn't say anything," James mused.

Lily watched his eyes as they lit up like nothing she'd seen before. She remembered the first times he opened up to her- both times were right after his parents died.

" You're like every single Christmas bundled into one person," James concluded. " At least to me- you may look like Christmas but you are Christmas. All of the joy and rare moments with my parents seem like a rainstorm in comparison to you. You're like Christmas morning…"

And in that moment Lily didn't understand one word that came out of James's mouth. She understood that he thought Christmas was the best day in the year and he held it above everything. But she didn't understand how he could compare her to Christmas, or at least his Christmas.

James caught her expression and reached for her chin. He titled it up so Lily met his gaze.

" You want to be less than you are Lily but you're Christmas. You're nice to everybody even that annoying second year that asked you on a date. You stick by your friends- I mean everybody in our year wonders how Wood got lucky enough to have you as a best friend and Marlene's never let anyone in before. And you get this gleam in your eyes in class. I swear I only take History of Magic to watch you. Wait that sounds creepy," James noticed with a nervous laugh.

Lily reached up and caught his hand from attacking his hair. James met her gaze and there was something vulnerable in his eyes. She knew the words that were going to come out of his mouth before he said them, because James had said them before and she wasn't ready to hear them.

This time Lily was ready.

" James Potter," Lily started. " I would steal the sky for you- I'd rip the stars out and shake the sun until it falls and tear the moon from its spot just to give to you. I love you."

James's lips pulled up and looked like the sky. He looked like the sun and moon and stars and Lily was absolutely certain that she'd already somehow given him those things.

" I think I love you because you give me Christmas every day," James murmured as he broke the kiss. Lily leaned forward and reached up to run her hands into James's hair.

It was softer than she remembered.

" James if you haven't noticed," Lily started in between kisses. James pinned her gently into the snow and her hair splayed out behind her. His lips hovered over hers and his glasses were about to hit her forehead.

" You already gave me Christmas."

* * *

" You look lovely," Jason said as his lips pulled into a wide beam. A gold mask covered his high cheekbones and a good portion of his face. It hit Lily's forehead as he pulled her in for a hug.

His arms squeezed her waist gently and Lily returned the embrace possibly even tighter. She could hear music coming from the ballroom and the sound of people laughing and talking behind them. Jason let go and looked over her before looping his arm into hers and giving James an easy smile.

" Prongs I need to borrow Lily for a bit," Jason declared. James looked down at Lily with a warm gleam to his eyes.

" We've got a tradition you see," Lily explained. " I tell Jason a story and then he cries and then we eat cake."

" Don't tell James anything- he's going to blackmail me," Jason groaned. James chuckled and pressed his lips against Lily's before letting go. Lily smiled at him and admired the silver mask he wore that complimented her matching more feminine one.

Jason tugged her forward and gave her a quizzical look before sneaking them to the other wing of the house. He opened the door to their mum's garden and Lily lifted the skirt to her silver as she followed him.

" Nice necklace," Jason pointed out. " Did James give it to you?"

" Right before the ball," Lily answered as she touched the delicate chain.

" He kissed you."

" Yeah?"

" You didn't hex him," Jason said as though it explained everything.

" He got me a cat," Lily answered as though that was enough.

" You're in love with him," Jason stated factually. There was a moment of silence and snow landed on his mask as he waited for Lily to correct him. Lily looked out over the expanse of Gastor Manor's forest streaked land and the peaking Quidditch Pitch.

The Manor looked so similar to Potter Manor in some aspects but was a world apart from it.

" You guys look at each other the way mum and dad look at each other," Jason acknowledged. Lily blinked back tears.

" And they got to live happily ever after," he continued wistfully. A tear fell down Lily's cheek and the wind carried it away.

"There's no such thing as a happily ever after- not for people like us. We weren't read stories about fairytales where people get happily ever afters," Lily protested. " We got bedtime stories where people died in flames of glory."

Jason was silent and Lily wiped her cheeks of tears. She drew a shaky breath in and he watched her.

" I have to break James's heart."

* * *

Present

May 1977

Lily jerked awake and gasped for air. She could feel the white seat of Marcus's car cutting in her skin as he drew out the poisoned blood from her arm. Lily's head lolled forward and she could see her blood staining the seat of his car.

The forest fire was dead but the smell of burnt wood clung to the air. Marcus cursed as he muttered another spell and prodded her arm.

Lily coughed and he looked at her face with a worried expression.

" You're awake, oh Merlin I thought you were dying Lily," Marcus choked. He wiped at his eyes and Lily drew in a shaking breath.

" You know who I am," she accused. She looked down to her arm and watched as a black liquid seeped out of the bite mark. The veins crawling up her chest were grey but turning back to a normal color. The ones surrounding the bite were black and Lily had a dark feeling that those were going to stat that way.

Marcus laughed unlike his sarcastic bitter laugh. This one was one she's never heard- it was whole.

" Of course I know who you are. You're my sister and you were supposed to stay hidden not running straight towards death- literally!"

Lily let out a coughing laugh and Marcus grinned in an exhausted way. He pulled off his jacket and tied it around her arm.

" We're going to get you to the school and treated and then we're going to have a long conversation about everything," Marcus settled.

He pushed Lily into a sitting position and she understood that they couldn't apparate with her wound- she'd probably bleed out.

" You're kind of an arse."

" I was going to hunt down this James Potter fellow and tell him your little poetic last words like a pansy- I'm no arse," Marcus corrected as he drove from the place where Lily remembered why she was fighting. She was fighting because James gave her Christmas and that was the light in the darkness she lived in.

" Some of our brothers are arses- maybe it's genetic," Lily assumed as she gritted her teeth from the pain in her arm.

Marcus's eyes were glued to the highway and Lily was positive he was speeding.

" Keep talking and I'll tell Connor that you're nothing but a love struck teenager," Marcus replied.

" Hey does that mean my mum slept with your dad- because he looks like a real prick," Lily pointed out. Marcus's lips twitched but he seemed to settle back into cold moody Marcus Clarke.

" I'm adopted. I think we've got different dads though. Mine's some Greek fellow."

" That sucks. I was going to tell all the kiddies that my mum slept with the President of Magic."

" I think you missed out on the arse gene and gotten the bitch one."

" We're not going to have a brother-sister moment and hug and cry over our dead mum are we?"

" No I was thinking first get you healed then I'll scold you for nearly killing yourself on my watch," Marcus answered.

" Can we at least sing a song or something," Lily drawled.

" Keep talking and I'll make you walk back to Manhattan," Marcus threatened. Lily grinned at him and his eyes darted to her face.

" We have the same eyes I guess," he muttered.

" We're identical. I can't wait for the next family picture- now we've got even numbers of redheads and blondes," Lily answered.

" Blondes?" Marcus asked in a wary tone. Lily laughed at his expression and pulled a twig out of her hair with her good arm. Pain lanced through her entire body.

" I had five brothers besides you, if you're telling the truth that is, and every single one of them is blonde."

" Five brothers?"

" My parents were in love."

" I think mine we too," Marcus shot back.

" How do you know who your parents are?" Lily questioned in a suspicious tone. She knew Marcus would have hit her with a stunning spell or actually made her walk back to the city in any other situation but she was on the verge of falling asleep.

" There's blood replenishing potion in the drawer to your left."

" Aurors- ready for anything since the beginning of time," Lily yawned as she found the bottle.

" My dad, my adopted one, had a letter from our mum explaining everything. She said I could come looking if I wanted but I chose not to."

Lily swallowed the potion and bit back a gag.

" Why not?"

" What kind of mum abandons her kid?" Marcus asked. It wasn't a bitter question and it was one that Lily had since she realized that Marcus had the same eyes as their mother.

Nothing about Marcus was in Delphina Gastor's journal…Nothing about having another son or one not from Lily's dad for that matter. So Lily titled her head up and looked at the stars.

" She liked to stargaze."

" I named my dog Polaris," Marcus revealed.

" The North Star," Lily murmured. She knew that she didn't have the sun anymore. But she had a North Star to guide her back to James and Christmas.

" Hey when you said you'd give James the stars does that include Polaris, because I really like my dog."

" Shut up."

" See we're bickering- just like family."

" I'll hex you like family," Lily said with a reluctantly smile. Marcus laughed as they drove into the city.

" Serendipity," Lily declared. " That's what we got tonight."

" We were looking for why your English purists are here and found ancient dark magic that nearly killed you- how was that serendipity?"

" I got my North Star back," Lily answered.

Marcus smiled and the light of the freeway made his face looked positively ethereal.

" Are you talking about James Potter or my dog?"

" Neither."

* * *

**For putting up with this nasty cliffhanger I'll tell you lot the next chapter title.**

**" She's Coming Home" **

**I wonder what that could mean...**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	27. She's Coming Home

**Chapter 27 She's Coming Home**

**(Lost it to Trying)**

* * *

Lily watched Professor Rent heal her while Rent's eyes gave Marcus a tight glare. Her mind was a thousand miles away.

" Mark you can't take a teenager on missions," Professor Rent hissed. She tugged on Lily's hair and located a gash on Lily's scalp.

Marcus glared moodily at Rent and rolled his eyes.

" Rose handled it just fine."

" She looks like she's on her damn grave."

Marcus huffed and gave Lily a long look. " Rose," he said in an exaggerated drawl while waggling his eyebrows at Lily. " Did just fine... for a rookie."

" I'm touched," Lily answered. Marcus mouthed something at her and she felt a flush trickle onto her cheeks.

" Professor Rent really I'm fine. I've been through a lot worse stuff. I think last December I nearly lost my bloody soul!"

Professor Rent gave her a withering look and raised her wand to Lily's hair.

" Scorgify."

Her long fingers ran through Lily's lightening locks as Professor Rent looked for any injuries.

" You have lovely hair," Professor Rent murmured. Lily's gaze jumped from her bandaged arm to Marcus. Her lips pulled into a sly smirk.

" Got it from my mum."

Marcus bit his lip and his laugh came out in a cough. Professor Rent whirled around to face him.

" Out. Get out," she spat. " And don't think of coming back until Miss Galen is healed."

Marcus raised his hands in surrender and stood. He reached for Lily's free hand and squeezed it before leaning towards her face.

" We'll talk later. Get some rest and I'll try to get the blood stains out of my car," Marcus whispered. Lily gave him a withering look and he grinned roguishly before swaggering out of the Hospital Chambers.

" You two are too alike," Professor Rent muttered. " You're probably going to kill each other."

Lily mulled this over before laughing and grinning. " You've got no idea."

* * *

" You asked for me?" Andy Tonks questioned as she reached the top of the stairs leading to the Headmaster's Office. Alphard Black looked at her with hard eyes over a set of papers and jutted his head towards the seat in front of his desk.

" Take a seat Andromeda."

Andy sat and Alphard kept his papers down as he met her eyes.

" Sirius is in the Order."

" I heard."

Alphard coughed and reached for his water.

" I'll be quick. My time is valuable and I'm sure you could be doing something valuable too."

Andy's lips twitched. As a kid she was scared of her uncle. She always thought Alphard hated their entire family but he was set on being neutral, at least in the eyes of her parents and uncle and aunt.

After joining the Order straight out of Hogwarts, Andy was shocked to see her spiteful judging uncle sitting with the group of founding members. Their relationship improved but Andy was certain that Alphard just had an off-putting personality.

" I'm dying," Alphard, revealed. Andy's mouth fell and she closed it before he could comment on it.

" I kind of hoped my dad would die before you," Andy sighed. Alphard's lips pulled down. Yet he understood. Due to inbreeding, Blacks did not typically live as long as other wizarding folk. Alphard was barely grazing seventy, old in muggle years, but only half way through life in wizarding ones.

Andy leaned forward and caught her face between her hands.

" Does Sirius know?"

Alphard frowned at this.

" Of course not," he said dismissively. There was silence and Andy could see his cold gaze almost lighten.

" He's never had someone to look up to like you," Andy analyzed.

" Precisely. I'm not going to ruin that for the boy."

" Sirius blames me," Andy sighed. " Did he tell you what happened with Bellatrix?"

Alphard's expression darkened and Andy pressed back a shudder. She didn't hate people. She didn't hate her parents for not understanding why she left Julius. She didn't hate the world for isolating her daughter or Julius for not letting go. But she came pretty close to hating Bellatrix for what she'd done to Sirius.

" That girl's dangerous. I wish I dropped her as a baby… It could have saved a lot of people misery," Alphard muttered.

Andy sat up and swallowed; she had to get back to the meeting of dueling club. Although Sirius and Adam McKinnon ran it brilliantly, she still was required to supervise.

" Sirius is right to blame me… I could have done something."

" But you didn't," Alphard observed.

" I wasn't thinking about him or Regulus when I left. I had to choose myself, " Andy protested.

" And now you have a loving husband and a healthy daughter," Alphard finished. His lips remained level and Andy knew he wasn't judging her but merely making an observation of her choices.

" I'm happy but I screwed over Sirius."

" The healers don't think I'll make it to finish this school year. I'm going to prove them wrong," Alphard started. " And you're going to prove Sirius wrong- you're going to be there for him this time."

Alphard looked out to the window and sighed.

" I think he's going to need it more than ever once his parents find out of his involvement in the Order."

" No one is going to leak that information," Andy protested. Alphard turned and she could see something like guilt in his eyes.

" He needs to do what's right Andromeda- I will do anything to make sure of that."

" Even throw him under the train?" Andy scoffed.

Alphard didn't answer her. He waved his hand towards the staircase; she was dismissed.

" One day you'll understand that sometimes the right action is the action that destroys you the most."

But Andy already understood that. After all she signed her daughter's life away to a boy she hardly knew...

* * *

Professor Rent insisted that she stay in the Hospital Chambers for the rest of the night, which wasn't much time. She sent Lily back to her dorm to change from the burned, ragged clothing she wore.

" So I can go back to classes," Lily asked suspiciously. Madam Pomfrey would have made her stay for days if she saw the injuries that Lily had. Professor Rent merely rolled her eyes.

" We don't restrict our students. The curriculum is hard enough without missing days and if Dueling students missed classes every time they got injured then they'd miss more classes than they attended," Professor Rent explained as she led Lily from the Hospital Chambers.

After saying goodbye to Professor Rent, Lily ambled on to her dorm. She slipped into the common room and saw Anthem and Connor with some of the healing students.

Heads jutted up at her appearance and Lily met the gaze with a thoughtful one of her own. She hated attention since she was kid. She'd blush and be cold. But maybe that Lily was gone. After all people weren't going to stop staring.

" Looks like you had a fun night," Mary commented as she looked over Lily's bandaged and bruised form. Lily shrugged and got a smirk on her face that would make Jason proud.

" It was pretty normal actually," she drawled as she walked across the water-rivulet ground. Anthem's eyes were lit up with curiosity and she frowned at Lily.

" Your uniform's burned."

Connor's eyes flashed at this and Lily rolled her eyes as he clenched his fists.

" There was a bit of a fire but we got it under control," Lily explained.

" We?" Connor asked in a rough tone.

" Marcus and me."

He frowned and stood. Connor walked stoically from the room. Lily turned from his direction knowing she could chase after him and find out what was wrong. But Lily wasn't going to get close with Connor- she couldn't risk it.

She walked past the group and to her dorm. But Lily could hear one of the other girls speaking.

" I think Connor's got a crush," a nasal voice teased. Mary's fake voice let out a scoff.

" Connor Clarke doesn't have crushes," she replied sourly. Lily walked away before she could hear the rest of the conversation. Connor Clarke in all his moody talented glory was hauntingly like the boys she loved. And Lily would be damned to dare to replace Jason or Michael.

After showering, Lily slipped into another copy of the uniform and shoved on a pair of shoes. She forced her hair into a tight ponytail and frowned when she saw its color. It wasn't blood red anymore- it was lightening.

A strand fell from her up do and Lily felt slightly nauseous when she saw that it wasn't her old crimson hue or this blood-red color.

She left the dorm and headed to classes, actually willing to participate. Lily wanted answers from Marcus but more importantly she wanted to finish this. After coming so close to death, after craving it for months, Lily knew she didn't really want it.

She'd made her peace with people dying in the past but with Cassius and Galen, Lily simply clung to the guilt that surrounded their deaths and tried to choke herself with it. But deep down inside Lily knew that time was going to keep moving and she couldn't stay rooted to the past- she had to find a new source of guidance. No one could be her sun again and that would change her life forever. But Lily found a North Star.

A week trickled by before Marcus came to meet her in their training room. He'd gotten a new hair cut and there was a healing scrap on his face.

" Open your bandage."

" Isn't that how you get infections?" Lily asked.

" I've never seen an inferius bite before," Marcus answered.

" So this is just for your personal amusement then. As long as you learn something it's okay if I die."

" Just open the damn bandage."

Lily reluctantly tore the wrapping around her arm open. She forced herself to look at the wrinkled skin under it and the still healing bite mark. Black veins trailed up to her elbow and down to her wrist. Marcus's long thin fingers probed the wound and he grinned.

" That's going to scar fantastically," he declared.

" It's no wonder you're so crappy with girls. That's exactly what a girl wants to hear- that she's got a permanent scar," Lily scoffed.

" I'm not crappy with girls," Marcus retorted.

" Rent fancies you."

Seeing Marcus's confused expression Lily rolled her eyes.

" Professor Rent likes you," Lily restated. Marcus scoffed and traced one of the black veins.

" Most of these will fade hopefully but some are going to stay."

His eyes flew to Lily's other arm and he grunted at the thick scar on it.

" Who treated that?"

" I think I did."

Marcus swallowed and Lily felt the urge to cover the thick line that curve from the edge of her elbow to the base of her palm. Smaller scars covered the surface of her once perfect arms and she knew there were claw marks staining her legs.

" They can be treated- there's healers that specialize in removing nasty scars," Marcus offered.

" I don't want them gone."

And Lily knew in her heart she could get the scar that broke her star birthmark removed. But how could she do that. Even if Cassius broke the skin, Lily knew that the set of scars were from more than one person.

" They make you look like someone not to be messed with," Marcus finally declared. He stretched out on the ground and Lily sat across from him.

" So we're siblings," she said.

" Biologically yes."

Lily eyed him carefully and Marcus sighed.

" Your mother gave me up for adoption and I got lucky that the Clarkes weren't able to have kids. Connor was a surprise," Marcus said with a wry smile. " I've known my entire life but didn't ask until I was eighteen. Dad gave me a letter from your mother."

" What did it say?" Lily questioned as she picked at a stain on her pants. Marcus blew out a breath and his face tightened.

" Nothing terribly important just that she was too young to be a mother and that my dad died- he was killed by a werewolf. She said I could contact her but I never felt the need to. My parents- the Clarkes, well they were great," Marcus explained.

Lily mulled this over and finally pursed her lips.

" I can't be your sister."

" I never asked for one," Marcus retorted, but there was hurt in his eyes. Lily tapped her fingers against the floor of the room and shook her head.

" Connor reminds me of one of my brothers. They've both lost a lot but they don't let other people see it," Lily admitted. She sighed and rubbed her eyes.

" I used to be nice. I was the kind of girl that ignored her own problems and put other people first. I used to move mountains for the people I loved. In the past year and a half, most of them died. And I found new people to love but I ran away. I ran away and made myself distant because I don't want to lose them. I destroy everything Marcus. I got one of my brothers killed and I'm in love with a horrible person. We can't be family- I like you enough to want you to not die," Lily choked.

" You lived in a warzone- people were bound to die," Marcus argued.

His jaw was clenched and Lily knew he was the kind of man she would want Jason to be like. He was the kind of brother that she could love because Lily knew she couldn't love Jason even with all the things he did for her. Loving him broke her.

" Three of my five brothers are dead. My godparents died and I needed a new best friend practically every month from the rate they were dying at. There was this boy and I thought he was the sun. He died because of me and he was going to save the world. I don't want you to die- you're good Marcus…"

Marcus narrowed his eyes and stood.

" We're done for today. Go and get some sleep because tomorrow you're going to start fighting," he vowed.

The door slammed after him but Lily didn't feel alone.

* * *

" People are gossiping," Selena murmured as she nipped his neck. It wasn't the first time the pair had been entangled in a position similar to this. In fact, James was certain they'd been caught at least seven times since they got back from the Easter Holidays.

James let out a grunt of acknowledgement and flipped them so he could trail his lips over her neck. Selena Kingsmill tilted her head back and moaned throatily as he nipped at her pulse.

" Let them."

Selena pulled him up by his tie and rolled her eyes.

" You said Jason and the Ice Queen of Gryffindor were in contact with Lily," Selena hissed. " I hurt Lily too much- she can't know about this."

James met her gaze with an incredulous expression before sneering.

" Do you honestly think that I'm shagging you for the sake of shagging you?"

Selena's cheeks were flushed and James pulled away from her to button his shirt back up.

" You're Lily's best friend Kingsmill. I'm doing this to get her back."

" And sleeping with her best friend will win her over," Selena scoffed.

James smirked and tapped her nose. Kingsmill was a good shag and he hadn't shagged a girl in a very long time.

" I'm not trying to win her over. I've got to get her back first. Winning her over, well I've got a good idea of how to do that," James explained. " But she has to be in England first for me to do that."

" So you're luring her back by shagging me and hoping that the Ice Queen and Jason contact her and tell her about us," Selena summed up.

James smirked and opened the broom closet door. He pulled his bag over his shoulder and walked out.

" Precisely- I knew you were sorted into Slytherin for a reason besides being very fit."

" I'm doing this to hurt Pericles," Selena scoffed. James ruffled her hair and she trailed after him.

" See there's the inner snake in you," he declared as he walked away.

" Aren't you trying to honor her?" Selena called as he got farther and farther away.

James turned with a frown. He ran a hand through his hair and narrowed his eyes at Selena's figure.

" I'm saving her Kingsmill. You destroyed her and it's up to me to save her from whatever torture she's in because of what you said," James answered.

Selena didn't stop him from walking away this time.

* * *

Lily started fighting. And it was hard. After a year of fighting her magic, it took more than her will to pull it forward. But they managed.

She spent hours locked in the room with Marcus summoning her fire in different sizes and holding the flames up until he said to break them. Once she was able to summon fire, Marcus had her light candles of different shapes and sizes with powerful green flames.

Lily burned an average of ten candles per session. Marcus began pulling her out of classes more and more often to work on controlling her fire. Spring was in full session when she managed to light ten candles and hold the flames at an even level with an hour.

" You know if we were on my plan then you'd be able to control bonfires by now," Marcus noted one evening. Lily glared at him and blew sweat from her brow.

" Why would I need to control bonfires?"

Marcus's eyes glinted and he raised his hand up. Lily made the flames match the new height.

" I've got a friend in Quebec- they've got a Beltane festival up there. Maybe if you're still around for Samhuin we can go up."

Lily shook her head and the flames changed from a subtle red to a brilliant blue.

" I have to be back in England soon."

" Well you better start training harder," Marcus observed.

The next week they started working on forming weapons from the flames. Lily found this part easier than the past two lessons. But it was hard enough when Marcus started dueling her with flames.

" You're done for today," Marcus noted as Lily extinguished the flame knives she had formed and collapsed to the ground. She wiped the sweat from her brow and grunted in acknowledgement.

" Drawing on the fire is the easy part- controlling it's the hard part," Marcus mused.

" I'm starving."

" You're channeling enough magic to destroy half of Manhattan- that's energy consuming,' Marcus explained. Looking at her frame he coughed. " And it's not like you're fat or anything… Actually you're rather skeleton-like."

Lily sat up and huffed. " I eat more food than the boys in the Herbalogy Studies."

" Well you look thinner than Connor's last girlfriend," Marcus scoffed.

" Mary?"

Marcus shuddered and cracked his fingers as he spoke.

" Mary MacDonald. Never understood why Con brought that one to family dinners," Marcus muttered.

" Mary's last name is MacDonald?"

" Yeah. She transferred I think a year ago from Hogwarts. It's dangerous for muggleborns there so her parents moved her here," Marcus explained.

Lily stood up and grinned. Marcus frowned as she grabbed her bag and moved to the door.

" You look like you're up to no good," he called as she walked into the hallway.

" I'm Marauding."

* * *

" Come on Ems you've got to eat. Jacie and I wouldn't want you to starve before you take the NEWTs," Michael pleaded.

" Don't call me that," Jason ordered. He kicked Michael's shin and turned to Emmeline.

" Seriously. Scamander won't want to shag you if you're skin and bones by the time you see him again."

Emmeline merely grunted and continued reading from her study guide. Jason shot Michael a look and he grabbed Emmeline's bag while Michael pried the study guide from her grip.

" What are you doing?" Emmeline demanded.

" Don't give up Wood- she's weak from not eating," Jason cheered. Michael finally got the study guide out of Emmeline's grip and tossed it to Jason. Jason stuffed it into Emmeline's bag and crossed his arms over his chest.

" You can get this bag back when you've eaten a complete meal," he declared. Emmeline let out a noise of frustration and huffed.

" If I don't do really well on my NEWTs then I can't be certified as a Magizoologist after next year," Emmeline protested.

" You've been studying for months. I think you could take the NEWTs with your eyes closed," Michael retorted as he dragged her out of the library. Jason followed them and could see the fire in Emmeline's eyes easing up.

" Fine but if you guys talk about Quidditch I'm leaving."

While they ate, Jason watched as Michael told Emmeline a story about his son. Her eyes lit up and the sunlight streaming into the Great Hall made them look like melting glaciers.

" What are you looking at?" Emmeline questioned as she met his gaze. Jason smiled and took a bite of his chicken.

" Nothing Ems, nothing at all," Jason replied. He snuck a glance at the Gryffindor table where Marlene sat. Her head was thrown back in laughter as Frank and her brother told the group a story.

He didn't feel his heart tug like it had months ago when he saw her on Christmas. But when Emmeline's eyes lit up in laughter Jason felt butterflies swarm behind his eyes.

* * *

Lily found Mary and her group near a room set aside for students to study in. They were doing their nails when Lily opened the door and entered the room.

She ignored the eyes jumping to her frame and smirked as she watched Mary.

" What do you want? I just did my nails so don't start crying or anything," Mary declared. Her orange skin and bleached hair made a lot more sense now. But those mousy brown eyes held her secret.

" Nothing at all."

Mary scoffed and used her free hand to pick up her wand and dry her nails quickly. She raised a perfect brow at Lily and smirked at the bandage on Lily's arm.

" So you're going to apologize then."

" For what Mouse?"

Mary's face screwed up and the girls around her giggled and whispered as Lily stepped forward.

" Flirting with my boyfriend and being so rude," Mary said as though it made so much sense.

" You're not dating Connor anymore as far as I see he's open game," Lily answered with a shrug. Mary's face turned red under her bronzer. " Don't worry- Connor isn't my type. I prefer Englishmen."

Mary's eyes flashed and she laughed.

" If you want me to hook you up with people from Hogwarts you're out of luck… I don't stay in touch with my old friends," Mary revealed.

Lily leaned against the doorframe and couldn't wipe the Cheshire grin from her face.

" Of course you don't- wouldn't want them to know you're alive."

It was quiet and Mary turned purple as she pulled her wand out and aimed it at Lily.

" What did you say?" she demanded in a shaking voice.

" No one blames you Mouse. It's dangerous for muggleborns in England," Lily said factually. Mary narrowed her eyes and took a deep breath.

" How do you know anything about England? Aren't you from Greece?" Mary demanded. Her voice cracked and rose in tone.

" Unlike you I read the news," Lily said dismissively.

" Look I'm going to leave Mouse. Not now but eventually. But let's get one thing clear. I don't want people staring at me or my belongings missing. I don't like having to avoid the dorm because you're gossiping about me. So you're going to stop."

" Why would I do that?" Mary demanded. Lily smirked and brushed a lock of her hair from her face.

" Gryffindors are a loyal bunch. I'm sure Michael and Marlene would love to hear that you're not dead," Lily deadpanned.

Mary brushed a lock of her hair back and slowly let her arm fall to her side.

" You're not really from Greece are you?"

Lily met those brown eyes and laughed. " Mouse I expected more from you. So do we have a deal?"

Mary nodded and pointed to the door.

" Fine now get out."

If Lily were the old heartbroken fifteen-year-old girl that took Beauxabatons by storm she would have made Mary MacDonald dust. But Lily wasn't that petty broken girl anymore.

So she walked out of the room and let the school think that Mary had won their war. But Lily knew deep down that she couldn't care less about Mary MacDonald.

* * *

" I'd like to thank our bloody great captain for this win! We're Champions," Sirius shouted. They'd made a comeback, one that both he and James knew was entirely because of the Gryffindor team literally falling apart this year.

The crowd of students in front of him cheered and he grinned at them. His eyes trailed over the girls in the crowd shouting his name but landed on Marlene standing in the back with Remus.

There was the odd Gryffindor in the crowds of students that filled the Slytherin Common Room as Gryffindor was in last place this year. Wood and Gideon Prewitt had to serve detentions and Frank Longbottom's arm was injured. Sirius knew that was from an Order missions that went wrong.

" Also James Potter is single ladies and could use a good night," Sirius finished. He stepped down from the table and music erupted once again. People slapped his back and Sirius made his way past dancing people and snogging couples.

He struggled not to frown when Remus downed a small bottle from his pocket. Marlene caught his eyes and grinned.

" You played great!"

Marlene's eyes were lit up in joy and she pressed a genuine kiss on Sirius's mouth.

" Is it true there were scouts for you and James?"

Sirius laughed and took a bottle of firewhiskey from a nearby table. He couldn't see James anywhere but did see Selena Kingsmill and Jason speaking near the couch. Jason had a low expression and Slytherin's newest queen looked almost afraid.

" The Arrows and Puddlemere for me. The Canons and Puddlemere for James," Sirius revealed.

" Canons?"

Remus grinned at him and Sirius shrugged.

" James likes the underdog," Sirius explained. Marlene nodded and looked around the common room. Her eyes paused on Selena's form and she curled her lip up.

" I don't understand how that thing was friends with Lily," Marlene muttered. " Kingsmill's a complete queen bee and Lily was a sweetheart."

Remus sent Sirius a warning look and Sirius nodded; even if he was upset with Lily for breaking James's heart, he couldn't show this around Marlene. Marlene seemed to not know the truth that Lily was alive.

" Divination's not the same without her," Sirius admitted. Marlene smiled at him and the Common Room opened. James walked inside and stalked through the crowds, brushing off girls almost angrily.

" Potter doesn't look like a captain that's just won his first Quidditch Cup as captain," Marlene observed. Sirius shot Remus a look as James headed up the stairs.

" Remus and I are going to go and check on him Marls," Sirius declared. Marlene nodded and glanced over to where some Ravenclaws where. Sirius pressed his lips against her cheek before turning to Remus and walking with him through the crowds.

" What do you think happened?"

Sirius frowned and Remus met his eyes expectantly.

" Something bad."

When Remus opened the door to their dorm, Sirius could see a mess surrounding James's bed and trunk. Papers and clothing were strewn around and James held the Marauder's Map in one hand and his other was clenched tightly around the trunk.

" Prongs?"

James looked up and dropped the map on the ground. His eyes were filled with rage.

" I got kicked out of a meeting," James muttered. He stood and ran a hand violently through his hair before shoving his glasses up his nose.

Sirius shot Remus a look and James laughed resentfully.

" Malfoy bought his ticket into the inner circle by selling me out," James explained. " They're under the impression that I was in a relationship with a muggleborn."

" Lily."

James nodded and looked at them hopelessly.

" Doesn't the Dark Lord know who she is?" Sirius questioned. James nodded and swallowed.

" It was a test. Jason's missed so many meetings with him and he's trying to figure out where my loyalties lie. I guess I failed… They're planning the final act to end this war," James lamented.

" You did the right thing," Sirius settled. He swallowed down his pride and met James's eyes. " Lily would be proud."

" I keep sacrificing for her, but she's done nothing for me. What if she doesn't love me? It could have been an act," James said despairingly. Sirius had only seen him like this once before; the day Lily left.

" It wasn't."

Remus shook his head and met James's eyes with an adamant gaze.

" Lily loves you- she's loved you probably longer than you loved her. She's just very stubborn," Remus answered.

" How do you know that?"

" Because you're her home James," Sirius finished. " She's going to come home- she's coming back."

* * *

It was late May. To be precise it was the day Julius died.

Lily left the school before dawn. She walked through the hazy early city and made her way to the address she'd memorized.

" You're lucky I'm following you," a voice called. Lily whirled around and saw Connor walking to her. His cheeks were flushed slightly and his hair was already lightening from sunlight. Anthem said that he was on the School's Quadpod team.

" Why?" Lily questioned in a stiff tone. Connor grinned, a perfect smile with dimples.

" Because you set off about five alarms sneaking off campus. I had to turn them off or Marcus would hunt you down and drag you back."

Lily stuffed her hands into the pocket of her jeans. She wore a thin jacket over her torso and had her hair down. Connor's eyes widened as he saw the fading color as he stepped closer to her.

" So why are you following me?"

Connor grimaced and tore a hand through his platinum locks. Lily winced at the motion and he watched her curiously.

" Because I'm in the mood for something dangerous," Connor started. He leaned towards her and his lips grazed her hairline. " And danger seems to follow you around."

Lily met his clear blue eyes with a distasteful look and pulled away. He wasn't James or Jason. She didn't owe him anything.

" My life isn't a game to entertain you."

" It's Mother's Day, shouldn't you be getting yours a gift?"

Lily narrowed her eyes and bit back an insult.

" I'm an orphan."

Connor's lips parted slightly and he swallowed as he wrung his hands together. Lily remembered reading that his mother died from the Vanishing Illness Epidemic.

" I'm going to a book store," Lily started. " You can come if you're interested."

Connor grinned and Lily started walking. He trailed next to her with large loping steps.

" So how's training with Mark?"

" He's every bloody dwarf from Snow White molded into one man."

Connor whistled at her statement and waggled his eyebrows.

" Pretty strong opinion Rosie."

Lily stopped walking and glared at him. A couple walked around them and Lily crossed her arms. Connor faced her with a raised brow.

" If you call me Rosie I'll hex you so badly that Professor Rent won't be able to tell if you're human," Lily threatened. Connor shook his head with a laugh and tapped her nose.

" You're cute when you're mad."

Lily growled and Connor threw a gangly arm over her shoulder before leading her down the street.

" Mark's rubbing off on you- you're both moody phoneys," Connor declared. " I'll have to save you from becoming his clone."

" I can't be Marcus's clone," Lily said as she pulled Connor's arm off her shoulder. " He's got a permanent scowl."

Connor grinned mischievously and traced a line on her forehead.

" You've got practically the same worry lines," he exclaimed. Lily sped up but Connor kept up easily.

" So Greece," Connor stated as they rounded a block. The sun was starting to rise. " What's it like there?"

Lily shrugged and rubbed her wrist. " The sky's blue and it's sunny most of the time."

" Rosie the weather's not a good description!"

" Well there's not much to say. I like Greece but it's not my favorite place," Lily shrugged.

" Tell me about your favorite place," Connor asked in a breathless voice. Lily frowned and felt something like rain in her gut.

" It's nice."

" That's pathetic. You could do a lot better," Connor insisted.

" Like you're a master of words," Lily scoffed. Connor's expression grew thoughtful and he waved his hand to the skyline.

" If you asked me what I liked best about the city, I'd be able to go on a rant for at least about the sky. Most people say that city folk are pitiful. We don't get to see the stars but I don't need the stars. We get to make our own constellations around here," Connor announced.

" There's noise all the time- but it's like a symphony. New York City's my favorite music and I don't think there's a better song than this city at night. People say it's filled with garbage and crime and it's grey. Well I think that this city's a damn rainbow. Look we've got every color in the world and we're going to shine even when it's dark," Connor finished.

Catching Lily's eyes he grinned and did a little bow. " And that Rose is how you tell people about your favorite place in the world."

" It sounds like you're in love with Manhattan," Lily answered. Connor got a soft smile and sighed.

" I think everybody who sees her skyline is half-in love with her."

They stopped at a crosswalk and Lily cleared her throat.

" My favorite place in the whole world is defined by feelings. It can make the devil feel something. For me it's about the feelings. It doesn't have a symphony of noise- it's got a symphony of laughter. And the people are the rainbow. The souls behind the rivalries and houses are what make it so beautiful. It's my North Star," she finished.

Connor wore a thoughtful expression as they crossed the street. They walked around a crowd of tourists and headed east.

" Where is it?" he questioned in a warm tone. Lily bristled and forced a stiff expression onto her face.

" I can't say."

Connor's face fell and Lily looked away. She remembered Marlene telling her something while they did each other's nails back in November.

_" Lils you can tell when a boy think he loves you," Marlene explained as she trailed a path of red over Lily's nails. " It's in his eyes." _

_ Marlene capped the bottle and threw it on her bedside table before taking a lock of Lily's hair and braiding it. Her eyes got a far away look. _

_ " But he can tell when you're heads over heels in love with him," Marlene sighed. _

_ " Which is better?" Lily asked. _

_ " I think the question you should be asking is which is worse," Marlene scoffed. Her long fingers gently pulled Lily's hair into three separate sections and she twirled them into the form of a braid. _

_ " I think it'd be worse to know that boy thinks he loves you, because he really doesn't. And if you tell him you're still breaking his heart," Lily mused. _

_ " I think it'd be worse to know that someone loves you- takes the adventure and the trust out of saying you love them back," Marlene answered. _

_ Lily turned slightly and saw that Marlene had a faraway look in her lightning blue eyes. But when they met hers, Marlene's lips pulled up into a smile and she laughed. _

_ " Don't worry Lils, we've got a lifetime to figure out love."_

Connor Clarke looked at her as though he fully believed he loved her. But Lily knew better. She knew that there was a man, a broken man, who had her heart. Connor fell in love with the girl she had to be. Because the girl she was around him was missing something very important.

* * *

" I've got a bad feeling," Alice whispered as she and Frank surveyed the view from his bedroom.

" What do you mean?"

His arms were around her waist and Alice wanted him to let her stand on her own. There were bags under her eyes in the reflection in the mirror. She spent hours studying for NEWTs everyday for almost two months.

NEWTs were in weeks and she was starting to fall apart… Alice had forgotten Adam's birthday and to write to her parents.

" Something's going to happen today- don't you feel it?"

Frank didn't answer her because they were trapped by the present. So Alice looked out to the peaceful grounds and Black Lake enjoying these last few moments of peace.

* * *

They reached the bookstore and Lily was more than surprised to see it was still open. She reached for the old door handle and Connor jumped when it creaked open.

" After you," he insisted. Lily rolled her eyes and stepped inside. She was even more surprised that it was open at this time. Wood boards creaked under her worn sneakers and she walked forward. Connor trailed after her and Lily could see low bookshelves crammed with books and pamphlets.

A man sat at the register and glanced up at them before looking back to his magazine.

" Maybe he could try dusting," Connor muttered as they walked through a dust mote storm. Lily wrinkled her nose when she saw cobwebs covering most of the books.

Music played too low for her to hear over the store. Fans turned lazily and sunlight streamed into the dust store.

" Why are we in here? I saw a bakery that's open two blocks back," Connor whispered. Lily shot him a look and continued to the back of the shelves. She frowned as she saw more books covered in dust lining the back walls.

Lily examined the dust shelves and saw worn copies of muggle books of different genres underneath the spider webs and dust particles.

" When was the last time someone bought a book from here?" she murmured as she followed the shelves against the back wall. Connor walked loudly behind her and Lily continued to examine the shelves.

" They've got some kinky books," Connor announced. " This one's about using food in sex."

Lily paused at the second to last shelf. She looked down and saw the ground in front of it was covered in less dust than the rest of the store. Her eyes scanned the shelves and Lily leaned forward when she heard a noise come from her left.

" Gotcha," she stated as she put her hand through the glamour of cobwebs. Her hand hit not a book but a doorknob and Lily grinned as she pushed it back.

She glanced to the store worker and saw that he still flipping through his magazine. Lily turned back to the bookshelf and frowned.

" Connor," she said. He turned and held a book that had some graphic pictures in it.

" Get your wand out," Lily ordered as she pulled her own and fully opened the door. Behind the shelf-door was a dark corridor.

" Lily I'm underage."

" Well if we're in a life or death situation then I think you can throw a hex or two," Lily snapped.

" Lumos," she whispered. A red and gold light came from her wand and she directed it to the hallway. Lily shuddered when she saw the large cobwebs behind it. Connor shuffled behind her and held his wand out.

Lily stepped forward into the darkness and bit down a squeal when webs hit her body. She took another step forward and Connor followed her. Lily raised her hand forward when she saw a brick wall in front of them.

" Hey!" Connor exclaimed as the shelf behind them shut. He jogged to it and banged on it.

" Looks like we're going to have to find another way out," Lily noted. Connor used his book to brush a cobweb back and his eyes narrowed.

" There's no way out of here!"

Lily raised her wand and examined the brick wall in front of her. She prodded some of the bricks but nothing happened. Connor paced behind her and his breathing quickened.

" We're going to die down here," he muttered. His fingers tore through his hair and he faced her with desperation in his eyes. " Why did we come here?"

" My mum worked in that excuse for a bookstore three decades ago," Lily murmured. She knelt down and held her hand against the bottom of the wall; air hit it.

" There's something behind this wall," Lily explained. " We just have to figure out how to open this wall."

Connor took a deep breath and jutted his head in agreement. He moved next to her and examined the wall. His lips pulled down and he met her gaze with a reluctant gaze.

" Marcus told me about doors that only opened with blood. We could try that," he offered. Lily's face screwed up; that was dark magic and she hoped her mother wasn't into dark magic like some of her brothers.

" I'll do it," Lily whispered hoarsely.

" No let me," Connor asserted. Lily shook her head and laughed bitterly.

" If my mum made this doorway then my blood will open it," Lily explained. Connor looked at her reluctantly but did a lighting charm while Lily extinguished hers to do a cutting jinx.

" Lacero," Lily declared. She winced as the meaty inside of her upper arm ripped open and blood trickled down. Connor held his breath as she pressed the wound up against the cold brick surface.

A creaking sound hit Lily's ears and the wall opened slowly. She could hear rats moving and quickly healed her arm before walking through the doorway.

" This is fucked up," Connor muttered as they walked into the next room. Lily did a lighting charm and looked around. The room was small and tall with a single window at the highest corner of it. Lily frowned when she saw footsteps in the dust; someone had beaten them here.

* * *

The worst week of Emmeline Vance's life started right after her last class of the day.

It started off normally. She was walking from Defense Against the Dark Arts with Gideon and Alice, telling them about one of the rare dragons in the mountains of Peru.

" It's believed that the natives used to sacrifice people to them," Emmeline babbled. Gideon nodded in interest and Alice yawned. Emmeline knew she'd been studying for weeks for NEWTs.

" Yeah have either of you heard from Kingsley about the next meeting?" Gideon questioned. Before Emmeline could answer, an explosion sounded and the ground shook. Alice grabbed her and Gideon, shoving them to the ground.

Tremors rocked the ground and when they stopped, Emmeline stood slowly and looked to the corridor window.

" Jesus," a nearby muggleborn whispered. Students in the area were silent as they gazed at the Dark Mark standing over the remains of the bridge. And on the same side of the bridge as them was a group of cloaked men.

" What's going on?" Gideon demanded. Emmeline swallowed and looked across the hallways to see Mulciber and Dolohov grinning at each other.

" It's here," she whispered, realizing what the Death Eaters were doing.

" They're ending the war."

Cloaked figures burst into the hallway and stunned students. Emmeline pulled her wand out but before she could shoot a spell at one of them, a masked figure grabbed her from behind.

" I'm sorry Emma," a voice whispered. Emmeline's eyes widened as she recognized Adam's voice. But a spell hit her and darkness pulled her in.

* * *

" Someone's been in here," Connor declared as he reached for a mess of ripped books that were on the ground. Lily nodded and knelt down. She could see papers torn and ashes strewn across the ground.

The footsteps weren't fresh, in fact they seemed months old.

" Whoever was here- they made sure no one could trace it back to them," Connor observed as he reached for a tattered book. There was a small desk in the corner of the room and Lily felt an odd sense of deja vu.

She lifted her wand and light basked onto the ceiling.  
" Holy Hecate," Lily gasped. On the ceiling was a single flower surrounded by a flaming dagger; the Lilius family crest. The design was a brittle thing and Lily swallowed bile when she saw red stains on the wall; it was blood.

" Rose is this your mother?" Connor asked. He extended a picture to her and Lily grabbed it as she looked away from the ceiling.

She aimed the light of her wand down at it and could see a picture of her mother looking so similar to herself. Lily rubbed dust off the picture with the pad of her thumb and could see that it was taken in front of the bookstore and her mum was obviously pregnant; Marcus wasn't lying.

" Yeah."

Connor came up behind her and examined the picture. " You look like her," he whispered. Hot breath hit Lily's neck and she tilted her head up. She was practically in Connor's arms and his lips parted slightly as his eyes flew up to meet hers.

" Connor," Lily whispered. He made a noise of attention as he leaned down. Lily felt her eyes flutter and his breath hit her lips. His lips were a hair away from hers when Lily opened her eyes and pushed him away. She stumbled back and landed against the wall.

Connor's eyes were wide and filled with disbelief as he watched her.

" We can't do this," Lily snapped. Connor scoffed and narrowed his eyes at her.

" Don't tell me you don't feel anything for me? We've got so much tension!" Connor exclaimed. Lily shook her head and felt trapped. She wrung her hands together and shook her head.

" I'm in love."

" With me?" Connor asked in a confused but slightly hopefully tone. Lily laughed bitterly at this.

" I've known you for all of a month and honestly you're a bit of a prick. There's someone waiting for me back home," Lily explained. " I love him more than anything."

Connor shifted and his face fell. Lily felt guilt as hurt flashed on his face but swallowed it down; she didn't have to feel regret for this. If she kissed Connor then James would never forgive her.

" Connor?"

" Let's just get out of here- there's nothing useful in here," Connor muttered. Lily swallowed and nodded as she dropped the picture of her mum to the ground. She walked forward towards the window and hit something on the ground.

She looked down and felt her heart speed up when she saw the object. Lily reached down and lifted the object; it was covered in the lightest layer of dust in the room and seemed to glint slightly.

In her hand was a Gastor family ring. Lily looked inside of its band and brushed dust off it. She blanched seeing Cassius's name on the band. She knew he was in Canada and he did disappear for months- going to New York wouldn't be that difficult. Lily had an odd feeling that she knew exactly what the books and papers in this room held…

The ring called to her. Hers was oceans away and Lily stared at it. It wouldn't hurt and she could check up on Jason; Circe knew what he was thinking about her lies. She twirled it between her fingers before slowly pushing it down her right ring finger. Lily sucked in a breath as her emotions were magnified and her knees wobbled.

She could feel the absences of her dead family but Lily could two presences that were alive. One was filled with fear and sadness and the other was…

Lily reached for it and her body lurched. She shut her eyes as the feeling of apparition came over her. Her feet landed on a surface and Lily opened her eyes and met a pair of icy blue ones.

She was staring at Emmeline Vance but Emmeline couldn't see her. Lily looked around and saw that she was in the Great Hall. She could see familiar faces and felt her heart skip a beat when students were thrown into the room.

Emmeline was on the ground of the hall and looked to be waking up. She sat up and looked around the hall.

Lily frowned when she saw death eaters standing around the hall. Students were sitting at the tables and Lily could clearly see that they were organized by blood status.

Emmeline's eyes widened when she saw someone and Lily followed her path of sight to someone very familiar. Emmeline stood and walked towards Lily's brother with a demanding look.

" Jason what in Agrippa's name is going on?" Emmeline demanded facing someone next to her. Lily whirled around and saw Jason wearing a worried and slightly enraged expression.

" They're ending the war Ems- this wasn't the plan. The Dark Lord must be desperate," Jason said darkly. Before neither of them could speak, the sound of someone shouting filled the air. Lily turned to the door and her heart stopped at the sight in front of her.

" What the fuck is going on?" James Potter shouted. There were ropes binding his arms together and three death eaters dragged him inside the Great Hall. He struggled against them and Lily could see a cut on his face.

" He promised!" James shouted. " Hogwarts is supposed to stay out of the war."

" Mr. Potter I was surprised to hear you weren't included in the initial phases," a death eater standing at Dumbledore's podium mused. Lily could see the prone forms of professors tied up behind the long table at the front of the room. She gasped when she saw blood on Andromeda Tonks's forehead. Andromeda didn't teach; what was she doing here?

" What are you doing Lestrange? This wasn't apart of the plan- you were supposed to attack the ministry," James exclaimed.

The death eater walked up to James and grabbed his face. James's nostrils widened in anger and Lily could see that the lenses of his glasses were broken.

" I never understood why the Dark Lord trusted someone so ignorant," the death eater declared snidely. " We're ending this war Mr. Potter and you can join us or-"

But the Death Eater didn't get a chance to finish. James raised his legs and Lily watched as he kicked the man. The man stumbled back and James snarled.

" I'd rather die than kill kids," James vowed.

" You shouldn't have done that," the man hissed. He moved forward and punched James in the face. Lily was sure most of the hall was watching.

" They're kids! We can't kill kids," James hissed angrily.

" Even the mudbloods?" the death eater asked. James clenched his jaw and Lily watched as the death eater grabbed him by the shirt and James smirked. He spit blood onto the man's face and grinned.

" Especially the muggleborns," James declared.

" So the rumors are true- you were with that mudblood last year," the death eater said dismissively. James's expression faltered and Lily stepped forward.

" Don't speak about Lily," he hissed angrily. Lestrange smirked and shoved James to the ground.

" Little James Potter, the Dark Lord's prodigy who fell in love with scum," the man drawled. He grinned cruelly and stepped on James's chest. " The irony of it."

" Get off him," a voice shouted. Lily looked to her right and saw Sirius and Remus rising. Two death eaters grabbed them and shoved them against the wood of the table.

" We're not supposed to kill any purebloods but I've been waiting most of my life to wipe that arrogant smirk off your face," Lestrange drawled. " Crucio."

The spell hit James and his fingers scraped against the ground. His lips were shut and his eyes watered as he glared at Lestrange.

" It's a good thing you've got a high pain tolerance Potter, I've got other things in mind." Lestrange stopped the spell and James gasped for air. "

"Sectumsempra."

Blood appeared through James's shirt.

This time James screamed.

" Oh Merlin," Lily gasped as she stumbled into reality. She swayed and saw Connor turning towards her. Behind him was an opening in the wall and Lily could see daylight streaming through it. Lily grasped the wall behind her and felt a salty taste in her mouth.

All she could hear were James's screams and the sounds of that explosion- Death Eaters had seized Hogwarts…

" Rose what's happening?" Connor demanded. Lily met his gaze and struggled as she pulled the ring off. She pocketed the ring and shook her head.

" I need to leave right now," Lily said quickly. She stepped outside and Connor followed her. Light hit her and Lily looked up to the sky. The sun was high and clouds skirted around it.

" I'm coming home James."

* * *

**Two more chapters and then it's part four! There's some pretty horrible stuff coming up, stuff that's going to set the stage for part four. I'm grateful for my grand beta and the readers and reviewers, without you guys, well I wouldn't have grown so much as a writer. I wouldn't have fallen in love with writing. So thank you and be ready to end this with me!**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	28. The Trouble with Heroes

**Chapter 28 The Trouble with Heroes**

**(The Wire)**

* * *

There's the saying a fork in the road. That's all Marlene knew from the saying. She didn't read much; Marlene preferred to focus on other things in life.

But sometimes there are events even she couldn't choose. Marlene McKinnon certainly did not choose one of her loves to die. She didn't stand in a road and choose one over the other. But it was inevitable in the last week of May and the first few days of June that Sirius Black or Jason Gastor was going to die.

A lot of innocent people died that week. In a way James Potter died that week. In a way, Lily Gastor was reborn that week. But in the end, no one gained from it. It wasn't the end of the war and the battle did not have a winner.

Before an end, comes the start. But for one of the most beloved boys in Hogwarts the end wasn't an end, it was the start to a life he wasn't ready for.

Marlene McKinnon would never be the same; a lot of people wouldn't be the same. It started in 1977 but the ghost of what happened at Hogwarts that week would haunt them for years, even lifetimes.

Rodolphus Lestrange stood at the Headmaster's podium in the front of the Great Hall. Marlene averted his sneering gaze and looked to where most of the professors were. She'd never seen Professor McGonagall look so weak. Tied up with a cut to the forehead, Minerva McGonagall seemed to symbolize Hogwarts' current situation.

When a leering death eater threw her into the hall, another grabbed her and brought her to the Slytherin table. Looking around, Marlene could tell, with distaste, that the students of Hogwarts were being sorted by blood status.

The bony shoulders of a gangly fourth year jutted into hers and Marlene leaned away from him. She could hear students crying and shuddered as her eyes met the pool of blood that no one bothered to clean.

James Potter was on the ground only minutes ago. His screams were horrific enough and Rodolphus Lestrange had him tied and bound before dragging him to the dungeons.

She wasn't fond of James. But something changed in him. Marlene was fully aware from the stares he and Lily sent each other that there was something going on there. But after Lily disappeared with only a light goodbye and making Marlene promise to look out for Michael, James seemed to deteriorate exponentially every month.

No one, not even James Potter, deserved to have his abdomen sliced open and healed sloppily in a twisted pattern over and over again. Marlene was relieved when he was dragged off.

In the initial hour, students were thrown into the hall in groups as large as five. Now, they were dragged in, unconscious or covered in bruises and cuts. Marlene looked up as the doors opened and death eaters pushed Gideon in. following him, was Fabian who had to be dragged inside.

Her heart let out a pang when she saw that Fabian's arm was limp by his side and Gideon was sporting a rather nasty cut to the forehead. They were shoved down towards the back of the Slytherin table.

" Marlene," a voice whispered. Marlene whipped her head forward and met Jason Gastor's bright gold eyes. He seemed relatively unharmed and Emmeline sat by his side. Emmeline's eyes were filled with tears as they darted around the hall.

" Look away- don't make eye contact," Jason ordered as he looked at Emmeline.

" What's going on?" demanded Marlene. She turned to look at where Sirius and Remus were. They sat in the front of the table and Marlene spotted Frank's unconscious form near them. Alice was further down the table looking over Gideon's cut.

" I don't know- I haven't gone to meetings regularly."

Marlene glanced to the half-blood table and felt her heart shuddered when she saw wide-eyed first years clinging to each other or siblings. Irving Johnson had his little sister sitting in his lap while he looked down at the table with tight eyes.

" How could this happen?"

Jason didn't answer and Marlene whirled around. He was watching her. He was arrogant. He left her in that bedroom on Christmas. He broke her heart. Yet she couldn't meet his eyes without feeling a pang in her heart.

" I don't know," Jason admitted. A scream echoed through the castle and Marlene winced when it was cut off abruptly. She blinked back tears and looked to Emmeline.

Emmeline was regal. With a gaze worthy of royalty and a calculating step, Marlene always thought of Emmeline as akin to Athena. But the girl in front of her wasn't a queen or a goddess. No the girl leaning against Jason's shoulder looked broken and completely doll-like.

Emmeline looked up abruptly and paled when she met Marlene's eyes. Marlene looked around the room quickly and felt dread bubble in her gut. She counted her friends and panicked when she couldn't find Michael or Adam.

The door to the hall opened and a group of seven third year Hufflepuffs were trooped inside. Behind them, a death eater levitated Michael's prone form. He was pale and Marlene could see blood dripping down his wrists.

" Is that the last of them?" Rodolphus asked coldly.

The masked figure holding Michael suspended nodded and Rodolphus grinned. He looked up from the podium and raked his eyes over the tables. Finally his gaze settled on Michael's body.

" Put him with Potter- I still haven't forgotten what Wood did to my sister," Lestrange ordered. Jason's lips pulled down at this and Marlene watched as Michael was carried from the room.

She looked to Jason desperately but his eyes were glued to Emmeline's and his hands were gently brushing Emmeline's loose hair back. Marlene recoiled as he whispered into Emmeline's ears and she nodded.

She knew that look in his eyes. It was the look of a man gone too far. It was the look Sirius gave her when she wasn't looking and the look she gave Jason when he was looking. Jason was in love with Emmeline…

" I'm pleased to say that all 196 students in this room will be witness to the beginning of the end," Lestrange declared. His voice echoed over the room and the death eaters stood alongside him.

" You're probably wondering what's happening here," Lestrange drawled. He met Marlene's gaze and she shivered before he looked away. " The Dark Lord is bringing a new age forward. And he will do this with the youth of our kind. Over the course of the next week you will display your skills in magic to us. We offer a place in our new world to any with clean blood. The rest of you will have to prove your worth."

Marlene narrowed her eyes and whispers broke out across the hall. Lestrange slammed his fist against the podium and growled.

" Silence! Within this week, the Dark Lord will take control of the world, as you know it. He is merciful enough to give you the chance to join his new world."

" And if we choose not to join?" Cedric Diggory demanded from the front of the half-blood table. Marlene noticed purebloods lining that table with lesser blood. She could see Chris Lancet and Penelope Weston there. Both came from blood that held half-blood and muggleborn traces.

Marlene dug her nails into her palms as Lestrange sneered at Bones.

" Then we have ways to convince you to join. Aric Carrow will call the pureblood students attending this school up by order of pureness to join now or endure this next week and be persuaded. Students with siblings must make the decision as a whole," Lestrange explained, Marlene frowned at this statement. " Depending on how cooperative you are we might consider giving the half-bloods with better lineage a choice."

A death eater stepped forward and Marlene could see students leaning away from his large form. He wiped his mask off and dark crazed eyes met the crowds. In his hands was a book, one Marlene was sure a family like Sirius's made their kids memorize.

She recognized the man; he was on the wanted list in the auror office. His poster was pasted to surfaces in Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade. Aric Carrow was one of the worst death eaters. His initial posters described his crimes, but eventually he committed so many that there was no room besides Undesirable No 1.

" Starting with the Holy Seven, I want to note that the Rosier and Malfoy families have already sworn their allegiance to the Dark Lord," Aric purred.

Marlene frowned; she'd seen Jason and Sirius's dark marks. Why hadn't he mentioned their loyalties?

" Longbottom."

Marlene turned to where Frank was and saw the raged expression on his bruised face. It made sense that they'd start with him- he was Head Boy.

" I'd rather eat dung then join your new world," Frank sneered. Aric didn't even look fazed.

" I'm sure you'll be telling the world differently once classes begin," Aric replied.

" Prewitt."

Gideon looked up and Marlene watched him meet Fabian's eyes before seeking out Alice's.

" We're with Frank," he said confidently. Marlene's lips tugged up and Aric merely nodded.

" Black," he said after a moment. Marlene shut her eyes. They could be drawn evenly. This entire matter depended on the verdicts of the seven most powerful wizarding families. With the Rosiers, Malfoys, and James on one side, if Sirius or Jason didn't change their mind then people wouldn't feel safe to make a stance.

" We're with you," Sirius said. Marlene opened her eyes and looked at him. He had an arm over Regulus's shoulder and glared up at the table. Something told her that he didn't want to choose to side with Voldemort. She had to believe that.

Aric Carrow smiled slightly before writing something down and clearing his throat.

" Gastor."

Marlene watched Jason. He was looking at his family ring intently.

" You mentioned something about siblings," Jason finally said. Aric frowned; this wasn't what he was waiting for. No Jason was supposed to show that the majority leaned with the Dark Lord- he was supposed to prove something.

" Yes siblings and families have to agree as a whole on the family's status. But that does not apply to you- Pericles isn't a student at Hogwarts," Aric clarified in a low voice.

" Define student at Hogwarts," Jason answered with a gleam in his eyes.

Marlene had to stop herself from standing. Shock enveloped her; he was going to do it. Jason was about to tell the world the Gastor family's deepest secret.

" Attending Hogwarts this year," Rodolphus interrupted in a growl. His eyes were narrowed at Jason's figure and Jason seemed to glow.

" I'm terribly sorry," Jason started as he stood. His eyes seemed to glow and there was something wild in his stance. " But I can't make a decision without my family agreeing on this."

Aric Carrow growled and tightened his fists. Most death eaters eyed Jason's figure with disbelief.

" Mr. Gastor we've been over this- your broth-"

" Isn't a student at Hogwarts," Jason interrupted. He cleared his throat and licked his lips. His eyes flew to the Gryffindor table and there was something akin to joy in those golden orbs. " But my sister is a student at Hogwarts."

Like that, with glowing eyes and a grin, Jason Gastor brought the sky down.

* * *

" You missed your classes," Marcus commented as Lily stormed into the classroom. Connor was only steps behind her and her head spun horribly. All she could see was James's bloody form on the ground. His screams seemed to overpower every thought she could have.

" Take me to Dumbledore- I need to go," Lily blurted. Marcus frowned and she squeezed the ring in her palm so hard that it dug into her skin painfully.

" What's going on?" Connor demanded as he entered the room. Lily didn't even look at him as she tried to take in everything. But whatever was happening in England didn't matter. All that matter was James. And he was in trouble. He needed her…

" Get out Connor," Lily snarled. She whipped around to Marcus and pinned him down with her eyes.

" Death Eaters are attacking Hogwarts- my home's in danger," Lily explained. She swallowed and tried to keep her body from swaying.

" James is there- they're torturing him Marcus," Lily whispered. She could feel something inside of her screaming and writhing. Down to the very bottom of her soul, there was a feeling of complete helplessness.

" You're not ready," Marcus answered. " You need at least a month of training."

Lily stared at him with surprise.

" I don't care about making fire into a weapon," she announced. " I came here to get rid of it not learn how to control it- you and Dumbledore forced this on me. But I haven't forgotten what it's done to my life. I'll get rid of it and go to Hogwarts," Lily vowed.

" And what are you going to do there? You'll be too weak to fight. You can't save James without the fire," scoffed Marcus.

Lily raised her chin and crossed her arms over her chest.

" Take me to Dumbledore. I'll do whatever bloody test he wants and end this. Then I'm going home- and I will stop this because unlike you I don't need to rely on anything but myself."

Marcus watched her with hooded eyes. His eyes didn't go to Connor's completely confused face, simply he watched her. And Lily stared him down with all the courage she'd fought for. She was battling him with a sword of courage and she was clearly winning.

" Why are you afraid of it?" he questioned.

" Because I never pay the price for its power. No it's always been the people I love who feel its wrath. My dueling partner- he's scared because of my power. Every time I look at him I am reminded of how dangerous it is. I know what I want Marcus and living in the shadow of fire isn't it," Lily explained.

The room was silent. It wasn't a good silence. It was the silence of a duel that did not require words or actions. Lily remained still in her statement and Marcus's face slowly collapsed.

" Connor go to your dorm," he crisply ordered. His eyes flew to Connor's figure and Connor met Lily's gaze.

" You're not coming back," he said, already knowing the answer.

Marlene was wrong, Lily thought. Connor thought he loved her and he was right. That look in his eyes wasn't a fake one. So Lily broke his heart.

" If Manhattan was in danger you'd do anything to save it," she said. " My Manhattan's in danger."

Connor nodded but his eyes looked so young.

" At least tell me who you really are," he requested. " I've been more than sure that the Greek heiress story's just a lie for the last two months."

Lily looked to Marcus and saw that he was watching Connor. They were family and it was high time she got hers back.

" Lily, Lily Gastor."

And like that the web began to fall.

* * *

Marcus apparated them straight to the building he took her to two months ago. Lily gave him a grateful look as they boarded the elevator. She could see her reflection in the glass of it and knew that the person she'd become was Lily Gastor.

When they reached the auror floor, Marcus walked quickly with a cold expression on his face. Lily could see her mother' ferocity in his eyes and could feel her loyalty as Marcus dragged her to the broom closet.

" Dumbledore may not be here yet- I had to summon him from Albania," Marcus explained as the broom closet opened and revealed a hidden room. Lily nodded and glanced at the clock.

It was nearly an hour since she'd seen James's tortured body. Anything could happen in an hour…

" Did he tell you what the test was?"

Marcus shook his head and looked down to her hand. His eyes flashed at the ring in her red palm.

" Can I?"

Lily handed the ring to him and he rubbed his thumb over the Gastor crest carefully. Maybe in another world, Marcus could have been apart of her family. But in this world he found his own and she had hers.

A spritely witch came up to them. Her eyes scanned Lily's figure and paused on the scars and healing wounds.

" Albus just arrived- he's in the office," she informed Marcus. Marcus muttered a thank you and Lily followed him down the hall to the room she came to months ago.

She was ready to burst into flames to get that location. She was ready to do anything, even hex Dumbledore. But Lily paused when she saw him. Professor Dumbledore looked horrible.

He seemed to age at least ten years and there was a horribly dull look to his eyes as he met her gaze.

" Miss Evans," he greeted.

" It's Gastor."

Dumbledore's eyes seemed to spark at this and he gestured to the seats in front of his desk. Lily remained standing and narrowed her eyes at him.

" Are you aware of what's happening right now in Hogwarts?" she demanded.

" Fabian Prewitt had just enough time to send a Patronus to the Order before he was knocked out. Bishop told me," Dumbledore answered.

" Why are you still here- they need you there," Lily asked desperately.

Dumbledore looked at her morosely and his eyes flew to the stand by his desk. Lily frowned at it- all that was there was a pile of ashes sitting at the bottom of the stand.

" Mr. Clarke informed me that you wanted to get the next location of Zeus's Wrath," Dumbledore answered, averting her gaze and the question.

" Yes. Then I'm going back to England and you should too," Lily replied. " They'll need as many people as possible there."

" Bishop Shacklebolt informed me that you struggled with the Patronus Charm for most of the previous year. Perform a corporeal Patronus for me and then I will give you the location of the lightning," Dumbledore continued.

" What? Nothing fire related?" Lily scoffed. Dumbledore met her gaze and down to the scars on her collarbones.

" Patronus first."

Lily frowned before looking back to Marcus. He watched both her and Dumbledore with the same icy gaze he had the day they met. But when his eyes met hers, there was something warm in his eyes. Something that seemed similar to reassurance.

Sweat clung to her fingers and Lily swallowed as she pulled her wand from her pocket. She raised her wand.

" Expecto Patronum."

A bright silver light shot from her wand and instead of a ball forming, a doe shot out of her wand and its large eyes met hers. A sense of yearning filled Lily at the sight of the delicate creature. She was ready, more than ready to get her happily ever after.

Lily smiled and she could have sworn that it smiled back before fading.

" Now can I have the location?" Lily asked turning back to Dumbledore. His eyes were still when the doe once stood.

" If you don't mind me asking, what was different this time?"

Lily shook her head and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear.

" All of my teachers always said you're supposed to think of something that makes you happy. I used to live in a world where the bad overcame the good. But I found someon- I mean thing, that makes my world good and brighter," Lily explained.

Dumbledore's eyes lit up with interest and he smiled serenely before pulling out a piece of parchment and raising his quill. Lily shot Marcus a victorious grin before turning to watch Dumbledore scrawl something down.

" The English Ministry is only discovering what has happened at Hogwarts. Bishop has assembled a group of aurors from the states that will be flooing to England before nightfall. He is contacting wizards around the world to come and aid the Ministry Miss Gastor. I can assure you that we're going to fight back," Dumbledore described as he finished the writing. He dropped his quill into the pot of ink next to a worn book and looked up.

His hand held the parchment and Lily's mouth dried slightly as he extended his arm.

" Remember the risks of this Miss Gastor. Each second more you spend in Zeus's Wrath will increase the odds of death tenfold," Dumbledore warned.

Lily nodded and repressed a shudder. Two times she'd gone under that bolt, and both times she'd come closer to dying than ever before.

She reached out for the parchment and Dumbledore smiled as she pocketed it and turned to the door.

" England needs you Professor- the war is going to end soon and your presence could make a difference to who wins."

" I'm afraid that there are matters I must attend to that come before the situation at Hogwarts," Dumbledore admitted. "Good luck Miss Gastor. I hope you've found what you were looking for."

Lily drew back and knew in that moment that somehow Albus Dumbledore managed to fail her. Maybe he was just a normal wizard, just like her, and he made mistakes and choices that some people wouldn't like. But it hurt like hell to see him choose to ignore a plight that called both of their hearts.

Albus Dumbledore was once her hero. She strived to be kind and fair and just like him. But Lily learned the hard way that heros were flawed just like regular people. Simply a hero was nothing more than an individual concept. Lily's heroes weren't Marcus's heroes. The Wizarding World believed that Albus Dumbledore was their hero. Lily knew better now. He was simply a man.

Turning to Marcus, Lily met his eyes knowing that she'd tell Jason about him the second this entire dilemma faded. She would tell Jason about the brother they had so he could choose for himself if he wanted Marcus or not. But Lily knew in her heart she couldn't afford to let Marcus be her family.

Surprising both herself and Marcus, Lily walked to him and enveloped him in one of her signature awkward embraces. His angular limbs tangled into her thin arms and Lily met his eyes before letting go.

" Thank you."

Marcus's lips twitched but he merely nodded and Lily left the room. She walked out and made it five steps down the hall before turning back. Pausing at the door, Lily heard Dumbledore and Marcus speaking.

" She's planning on walking into a battlefield injured and fatally weak," Marcus hissed. " How could you let Lily do this?"

" I believe that love is the strongest force in our world and Lily Gastor loves like no other. She's doing this for love," Dumbledore answered. Lily moved closer to the edge of the door and listened closely.

" Love's not going to keep her safe. She's a kid who thinks she's in love. I've been panicking since she said James bloody Potter's name when Lily thought she was dying. He's a death eater Albus- one of the worst ones at that too," Marcus groaned.

Lily frowned; Marcus did not know James and he teased her about James…

" They have matching Patronuses," Dumbledore murmured. " I haven't met a pair of people as destroyed by this war as them. I'm not a romantic Mr. Clarke, but Lily and James have something that close to no one finds- they're soul mates."

There was silence as both Lily and Marcus took this in. Professor Dumbledore had never seen her and James interact but for some reason he believed in them. Even if Lily lost faith in the acclaimed wizard, she couldn't help but feel slightly touched by his words.

" I think Lily thinks too much with her heart but she's right about one thing- your quest is pointless. It's been months and all you have are leads or vague ideas. You can act now and make a difference," Marcus said suddenly.

" It sounds like you're the one who can make a difference Marcus."

Lily heard a chair scraping and the sound of footsteps.

" I promised my dad I wouldn't get involved with the war."

" I'm sure your father would understand your interest in the situation. He's well aware of Lily being here. I believe he made some inquiries about her the last time we met," Dumbledore answered.

Marcus chuckled and Lily swallowed, knowing that this was wrong. But there was a burst of butterflies in her gut; the President of Magic had asked about her…

" Connor will follow me- he's not going to stay out of a fight," Marcus reminded.

" It's your decision to make but I think you've known what you were going to do since you met Lily," Dumbledore observed.

" She's a fighter."

" Good luck Mr. Clarke, but I doubt Miss Gastor will be pleased with your decision."

Lily moved from the doorway and squeezed the ring in her hand. She had a mission and Marcus seemed to get his own. That brought her some amount of comfort as she left the building.

And like that, Lily shed the worries of Rose Galen and slipped the ones of another flower on.

* * *

Remus was running low on pain relief potion and he knew that there was no way he could get any more from Pomfrey. His fingers were tightly wound around the flask his father had given him for his seventeenth birthday as he surveyed the Slytherin Common Room.

It was louder than usual and students seemed to be in slight distress. Their usual green and silver robes were stained with a color spelled onto the crest. Remus idly looked down to the red circle on his robes with distaste.

After Jason's declaration in the Great Hall, Rodolphus Lestrange dragged him off to interrogate him, and the ceremony ended. Remus was grateful, he didn't know if he could meet Dora's gaze if he stated his alliance.

" This is a load of bullshit," Sirius said as he sat next to him. His eyes flew to the flask in Remus's hands before going back to his face. " They're torturing Prongs."

Remus was quiet but knew why Sirius was so upset. They hadn't been trusted in this attack but Mulciber and Dolohov had. Even one of the newest and most reluctant recruits, Adam McKinnon, was involved in the attack.

" I checked the map… Marlene is in the Gryffindor Common Room. There's death eaters guarding all the common rooms," Sirius muttered. After Jason created so much pandemonium, the death eaters regained control by torturing a muggleborn Hufflepuff. They proceeded to mark each student by blood before the entire student mass was escorted back to their selective houses.

" What about the teachers?" Remus asked.

" They're still in the hall- Rosier told me they're going to threaten the teachers and send some message to the ministry. Moony- they're planning on keeping us trapped here. For Merlin's sake they're going to torture first years," Sirius hissed.

" Was your uncle involved?"

" Maybe, I saw him shoving a couple of Ravenclaws up to their tower," Sirius answered flippantly. But there was something heightened and fearful in Sirius's eyes.

" This is sick," Remus said after a moment. " But we can't do anything. Look what happened to James! The Dark Lord's not here and I think that those in charge are letting emotions overcome this mission."

" So we've got to play their emotions," Sirius mused.

" Precisely," Remus replied as he opened the flask and sipped at the potion. He could see Sirius's fists- they were tense and white.

" Problem?"

" Bellatrix is here."

Remus winced at this. Bellatrix and Sirius had some rough history, a history that even the Marauders didn't know. Remus had a vague idea of what it was though…

" She'll be distracted with Andromeda, I'm sure they'll have some words to exchange."

" More like hexes," scoffed Sirius.

" This is why I'm happy to not have siblings," Remus sighed. " Too much drama."

Sirius smirked and good-naturedly slugged Remus in the shoulder.

" You've got us- I'm sure James's drama is worthy of any hypothetical sibling," teased Sirius.

Remus smiled at this and rubbed his eyes. The full moon was approaching.

" Lily Gastor," he said quietly. Sirius's eyes gleamed at the name and Remus bitterly remembered the girl that crushed his brother and taught him what it meant to be good.

" So those charms she was speaking about," Sirius started.

" Aren't working anymore," Remus finished.

Sirius laughed and leaned towards him. There was something wild like a hurricane to the storm in Sirius's eyes.

" I'm going to make her pay for breaking Prongs- she's going to pay for this," Sirius vowed.

" If she comes back," Remus corrected.

Sirius smiled and leaned back into the couch.

" Jason's kept her secret for over a year. There's no reason he'd say something about her in front of everybody without some assurance that Lily's coming back as the person she's meant to be," Sirius explained.

" Even then, what if James forgives her?"

Sirius frowned and elegantly moved his thick glossy curls from his shoulders.

" He won't," Sirius answered with full heart. " He's willing to forgive her because he can't see her. But I swear the minute James knows that Lily's not off dying, he's going to explode."

Remus hoped Sirius was wrong. He was tired of the losses his friends encountered and if the war was coming to an end, then James deserved some form of happiness aside from the Marauders. Lily made him happy, Remus knew that much.

His lips were dry and he licked them before glancing towards the filled common room.

" Some of us are going to die this week," Remus mused. Sirius's eyes were far away.

" Get some sleep Moony. We'll need to be ready for tomorrow," Sirius answered grimly. But his eyes didn't seem to match his words. Something was off.

Remus didn't like to think that his musings were always right but they usually were. And if this one was right, then he had a feeling that every single one of the Marauders had done the same exact thing- they'd betrayed the Dark Lord.

He did know that he was about to betray the Dark Lord. Remus had James's invisibility cloak stashed under his pillow and he planned on paying the Gryffindor Common Room sometime before the end of this week.

* * *

When Michael Wood was brought into the room, James was busy watching his blood pool around the ground under him. Well he was watching a blurry puddle under his form as his glasses were smashed. He looked up with a pale face to see a pair of blurry death eaters shackling a blurry figure by the legs and wrists, similar to James. There was blood falling from his arms.

" His wrists are slit," James drawled. The men turned to him with suspicious looks. Looking closer, James was able to make out Michael Wood's scarred face.

" Look go ahead and leave. But you'll be ending the Wood line if you do. I'm sure the Dark Lord will be pleased with you idiots for ending a pureblood family," James continued.

The death eaters exchanged looks before one shuffled over to Michael and sloppily healed his wrists. A soft groan came out of Michael's mouth and the death eaters left before James could speak or Michael could wake.

Skimming his eyes over Michael's figure, James could tell that he must have done something a lot more useful than screaming at the excuse for a man that Rodolphus Lestrange was.

Licking his lips, James planned exactly how he was going to slowly and painfully kill Lestrange for this.

" What the bloody hell?" Michael groaned. James looked up with a smirk and met those annoying brown eyes. Michael squinted at him and James could tell that his left eye was already swelling.

" Potter."

" Ironic right?" James chuckled. He ignored the pain in his abdomen and the aftershocks of the cruciatus curse. " The Dark Lord's prodigy locked up by his men."

Michael's eyes flashed and he tugged on his chains.

" Not going to work- I've tried everything," James answered. He'd changed into a stag and tried to pull the chains clean off the wall. But they were charmed exceptionally well.

Michael cursed and looked around the room before finally meeting James's gaze.

" Your lot's taken over Hogwarts- what's the plan?"

James snorted.

" I'd never agree to this- I wasn't even aware of the attack on Hogwarts last December. Do you think the Dark Lord would tell me this plan? It's ten times worse," muttered James.

Michael looked skeptical and James wondered why he was trying to explain his beliefs to Michael Wood of all people. A pair of sparkling green eyes flashed in his mind and their memory was more painful than the wounds on his abdomen and the cruciatus combined.

Lily adored Michael. She'd confessed that they planned to be dueling partners and James knew that if he were going to ever have a future with Lily, Michael Wood would certainly be apart of it.

" So what exactly are they doing?" questioned Michael. He was almost at James's height and James studied his blurry figure before speaking.

" They're holding Hogwarts hostage to get the Ministry to surrender. The Dark Lord's smart, bloody intelligent," James explained. " The Death Eaters here are going to try and convert as many youth as possible. Gets easy support for the new society he's building."

Michael's face screwed up and he looked disgusted. James knew the same feeling reflected on his face.

" That's low, even for death eaters," admitted Michael. His eyes scanned James's form and he smirked slightly.

" You're a mess."

James raised an eyebrow loftily.

" Nothing permanent- but you'd know a lot about permanent scars. Those are some lovely scars Wood."

James's gaze was pointed down at Michael's abdomen which was barely covered by the tattered remain of the uniform. He could see thick scars staining Michael's torso.

" You don't know anything about what happened," Michael spat. James met his gaze with a tight stare.

" Lily told me."

Michael's eyes eased up and he looked as though James punched him in the gut.

" Before she died," he breathed in a pained tone. There wasn't love in Michael's eyes only the look of a lost friendship. Whatever happened between Michael and Lily ended and from Michael's gaze their friendship managed to grow from that. So why didn't Lily tell Michael she was alive?

James knew she planned to. Marlene McKinnon convinced him of that much. He smiled wryly; Lily controlled everything in this horrible game she'd forced his world into….

" Look I don't like you Wood," James addressed. " But I'll let you in on a secret- death eaters aren't the brightest bulbs. There's a reason they've separated people and are making them go through classes and trials. They're trying to keep us from planning how to save ourselves. You and I, we're better than the lot of them. And I think it might be up to us to figure out how to save Hogwarts."

" Why would I ever work with you? I can see your Dark Mark," Michael sneered. The mark was dark and writhing against James's arm. He swallowed and looked around the wall his chains were linked to.

There was a loose stone farther up the wall. Maneuvering to it, James grunted as he stretched against the chains and edged up the ones covering his wrists. He sighed with relief as the fingers of his left hand touched the stone and he pulled it out of the wall. The edge was jagged and James eased down, facing Michael.

He brought his arms up and his left hand shook as he brought the stone down to the skin of his right arm. James bit down a scream and he pushed the pointed edge into his flesh and dragged it through the dark mark.

Blood fell down his arm and Michael watched in shock as he repeated the process viciously. James let out a grunt of pain and did it again. Removing the dark mark required a bit of mental capabilities as well and he fought as his arm shook. But James brought the stone back down and placed it into his open wound before dragging it into the nearby skin.

He wiped the blood back and grinned at his ravaged arm- the mark was gone and he was bleeding fast.

" Trust me now Wood?"

James swayed as the stone fell from his hand and landed into a puddle of his own blood. He'd lost enough to pass out, even possibly die. It was stupid and brave but James was done fighting in the shadows.

Michael pulled against the chains and James could hear something snap as he managed to get to his pocket and pull out a wood rod. Michael's eyes were lancing with pain and he held out a wand.

" It's Webber's wand. Hopefully you're good enough at healing charms to clean both of us up," Michael explained in a low voice. James grinned at him as he moved forward and copied Michael's motions.

He reached for the wand and struggled against his chains before his bloody fingers circled around the device and Michael let go.

" So what's our team name?" Michael asked in a hoarse voice as James quickly healed the cuts on his abdomen. James looked up and narrowed his eyes as he worked on his arm.

" We're a team then?"

" Of course, you nearly ripped your arm off Potter. That's Gryffindor-worthy behavior," replied Michael. James swayed as he finished his arm and turned to Michael to fix his dislocated shoulder.

" Team Good," he offered. Michael hissed as James popped his arm back into its socket with a spell.

" Where'd you learn healing spells?"

James smirked. " Let's save the world before sharing secrets."

" Team Good's a shite name," Michael retorted. James made a face.

" Got any better ones?"

Michael was silent and James shrugged.

" Team Good will do," Michael finally answered. " We'll work on a team name after saving the world."

" Sounds like a plan."

" Save the world, team name, then share secrets," Michael assessed. " " Maybe we can braid each other hair too..."

" We can get some firewhiskey and chips before sharing secrets," James offered. " I think we're going to need firewhiskey to drown this out."

" Agreed."

Like that a boy of shadows stepped into the light. And a boy who liked to play with shadows let go of them.

* * *

They were trying to mask this monstrosity under the guise of normalcy. Emmeline Vance knew better than to let the Death Eaters win. But she knew better than to fight them outright.

Michael and James Potter fought them outright. They were locked away in some god-forsaken part of the castle.

Emmeline Vance wasn't a leader in any situation. But in this one she was worse than a follower. Numbness settled over her mind as she watched Alice and Frank comfort scared younger students and the other seventh years copy their actions.

There was pain like no other inside of her. It was as though someone took her fairytale and burned it to ashes and Emmeline was terrified of what rose from those ashes. The happily ever after that she and Adam were was gone and in its place was a shadow of a woman and the shade of a man.

" Adam's one of them," Emmeline breathed.

No one heard her.

Emmeline gasped for air and looked around frantically. Gideon and Marlene had set up a makeshift healing station. Emmeline sobbed when she saw Willow Weasley being healed. The girl's nose bled onto her shirt.

" Adam's one of them."

Fabian looked over at her in concern. His wounds hadn't been healed yet and there was a huge bump on his forehead. But he was helping Frank and Alice check on students.

Emmeline could hear a pair of fourth years crying into each other's shoulders. Dora Tonks was trying to make a group of second years laugh but she was a second year and this was so wrong.

" Adam's one of them," she gasped.

" Emmeline what are you saying?" Fabian asked.

He moved to her side and Emmeline met his gaze dully.

Before she could speak, the common room opened. Emmeline looked to the door and met a pair of lightning blue eyes. She flew up and her fists balled out of their own accord.

" Adam's a death eater!"

Silence engulfed the common room and eyes flew to Adam's figure as Emmeline walked to him.

She held her wand out and it hit his throat. He swallowed hard and Emmeline's arm shook.

" Emma," Adam breathed. " Let me explain."

" What's there to explain?" demanded Emmeline. Her nose was stained red and Adam's eyes fell to hers. " You're a death eater."

" They've been targeting my family for a month Emma."

His face was pale and his lips dry.

" Back during Easter they contacted me and I said no. But they were going to kill Marlene and my parents!"

" You don't even like your parents," Emmeline accused.

" They're still my parents," Adam answered.

The common room was quiet and Emmeline narrowed her gaze.

" Pull up your sleeve," she ordered. Adam's eyes flashed with pain.

" Emma," he said in a soft voice. Emmeline's wand pushed into his throat.

" Don't call me that! You're trying to make me weak Adam- but it's not going to work. Now pull up your damn sleeve," retorted Emmeline.

Adam's finger pulled the black sleeve of his cloak up.

Emmeline looked down.

And like that Emmeline's heart shattered as though it had always been whole.

Like that, Adam McKinnon disappeared into shadows and Emmeline Vance stepped into the light.

* * *

Emmeline's jaw remained set as she stood next to Amelia and Louis. They were forced into this mask of normalcy and fighting wasn't brave, it was immature.

That was clear for Emmeline to see. If she fought then they would make an example out of her. If she fought then the younger students would have less protection.

Yet that morning Emmeline almost fought. It was only Alice's arm holding her back that kept her from tackling Mulciber to the ground. He tortured a fourth year Ravenclaw in front of the entire hall.

" Put your bags away- we'll be practicing spells," a rough voice ordered. Emmeline looked up to Bellatrix Lestrange entering the room. Her crazed stormy eyes scanned the group.

" Where's Professor Tonks?" Frank demanded. Bellatrix's eyes flew to his figure and she gave him a smirk.

" She'll be along. Get in a line, you'll be demonstrating some spells for me today."

Emmeline reluctantly followed Amelia to the line forming. She wouldn't have if there weren't death eaters standing around the room watching them. Her hand was covered in a layer of sweat and her hair was pulled tightly away.

The door to the room opened, and Emmeline tensed when a set of fifth year Slytherins levitated the bleeding form of Andromeda Tonks inside.

" Drop her here," ordered Bellatrix. Regulus Black's matching grey eyes looked reluctantly as he eased his cousin down. Bile filled Emmeline's mouth as Andromeda let out a groan of pain.

Bellatrix whirled around to face them and frustration engulfed Emmeline. She felt like pulling her hair out. It didn't make sense how the death eaters were able to siege Hogwarts in a matter of a day. It didn't make sense how horrific this entire plan was.

None of this made sense.

A war for blood and so many lives were lost for a war that wasn't even theirs.

Emmeline lost Rick to this war and every single student in this castle lost someone. So why bother fighting? It seemed inevitable that the darkness was going to win.

She thought of Jason who'd lost everything but was willing to gamble with fate. Jason Gastor who loved like no other and put everything in on a girl who wanted nothing more than to run away from her ghosts. Why did he do it? Why did Jason fight?

Emmeline's thoughts were broken by the piercing scream of pain that Alice let out when a death eater hit her with the cruciatus.

" If any of you try to get out of this lesson, Alice Prewitt's punishment will look like a joke," Bellatrix spat. Her eyes danced and Emmeline knew that she was touching victory.

Emmeline was so far away from victory. Loss was on her heels and it was biting her and taunting her.

Why was Jason fighting?

If Emmeline were in his situation she would have given up long ago. How could he find something good in their world of darkness?

The screams in the air were replaced with Andromeda's and Emmeline's breathing became rapid.

None of this made any sense.

She loved Beckett but Jason surrounded her thoughts. He was like the one puzzle Emmeline Vance could not solve. He was a mess of words that she couldn't make sense of.

It hit her harder than Adam kissing Katie Michelson.

Maybe Jason wasn't a puzzle or a code. Maybe he wasn't the sun.

Jason Gastor was the moon. Emmeline could look at him directly; there wasn't anything more than shadows and light.

Her heart ached horribly for a boy who had a smile that looked like the sun but was really the moon. Jason tried so hard to be the sun because he wanted the world to need him. But he wasn't the sun; he was better than the sun.

Looking at him didn't give Emmeline pain, looking at him made Emmeline feel safe. In all this darkness he was the beacon she needed.

Warmth filled her when she knew the truth of what Jason was.

He wasn't safe like Adam and he wasn't dangerous like Beckett. Jason was something else entirely. He made her feel complete. Jason was the missing piece to her icy heart.

The sun would melt her and Emmeline wouldn't be the same. But the moon's light simply brought a glow to her icy heart, making even the most bitter of souls appreciate ice.

Jason snuck up on her and now he was in her sky refusing to leave. Although it didn't matter- Emmeline didn't want him to leave.

She was in love with the wrong boy but he made her feel whole. They were both so broken and gnarled- they were two trees that grew side by side for so long. But when thunder came and the wind whipped at them, their limbs touched. When tress around them fell, their branches entwined. When they were scarred and ruined for the world to see Emmeline still had Jason. And now they didn't want anything but each other.

" Vance it's your turn," Bellatrix said, breaking Emmeline's thoughts. Emmeline looked at Andromeda's broken form and to Bellatrix's. There was something different in her heart as she raised her wand.

No one seemed to notice the two spells racing from her wand, a set of spells Beckett taught her about. Emmeline turned with a soft smile.

She didn't need to look at Andromeda to see the shield charm sticking to her skin or the illusion of a slice running down Andromeda's leg.

It was stupid to fight but it wasn't stupid to do what was right.

* * *

" Miss McKinnon stay back," Professor McGonagall requested. Marlene scowled and glanced at the death eaters leading her classmates back to their dorms.

Of course even when they were being held hostage, Professor McGonagall was going to punish her. It wasn't even like Marlene did anything bad, besides confunding one of the guard death eaters when he wasn't looking.

There were dark circles under Minerva McGonagall's eyes and Marlene could even see a stray hair or two peaking out of her severe teacher's bun.

" Five points from Gryffindor- you handed in an incomplete assignment," Professor McGonagall revealed before looking down to a set of essays on her desk

Marlene gaped at her teacher and Professor McGonagall looked up with thin lips.

" We're being held hostage and that's all you can say?"

Professor McGonagall's eyes flashed behind her glasses. Marlene looked down and noticed ink staining her teacher's hands. She'd never seen Minerva McGonagall look so disheveled.

" They gave us a choice, to continue teaching or to be held in the dungeons. I agreed to keep teaching for one reason," McGonagall explained. " To protect my students."

" It's disgusting what they're doing," Marlene answered, crossing her arms over her chest.

" You're no longer a child Miss McKinnon. You're an adult and your classmates need an example. Miss Evans was the top contender for head girl but after…" Professor McGonagall started. There was a flash of pain in her eyes.

Whenever people talked about Lily's death, Marlene felt like she couldn't breathe. Lily roped her into this lie and she was forced to play along while their peers and friends suffered.

Lily wasn't even good at Transfiguration; she wasn't friends with a lot of people. But Lily was nice, nicer and more mature than any of their peers. Marlene used to be jealous of it, Lily was naturally built to look after others, while Marlene was damned to be a damsel in distress.

" Excuse me," Professor McGonagall said. She cleared her throat and Marlene swore she could see the stern matron's eyes glistening.

" After her death, we had to consider other options. You're still there Miss McKinnon but some teachers worry about the dynamics between you and the proposed head boy."

" Who is he?"

Marlene could imagine Davies or Remus being head boy. But Michael and Jason seemed in her mind to be the top contenders.

" Mr. Potter."

" What?" Marlene exclaimed. " Professor he bullies and torments students!"

" Mr. Potter's shown a great deal of growth in the last year. I shouldn't be telling you this but he had both the current heads bids and Professor Slughorn's. Ultimately it's up to the Headmaster and the Board but Mr. Potter will most likely be head boy. If you want to have a chance at head girl, you'll need to start showing some maturity."

Marlene was silent and forced her mouth to not curve into a pout.

" I'll finish the assignment," she settled before slinging her bag over her shoulder and walking out of the room. Her head was tilted up and there was a slight smile on her face.

" Head girl Marlene McKinnon," Marlene mused. She liked how that sounded.

Fate's a funny thing. The second Lily decided to return to England; Marlene McKinnon was cast out of the bidding for head girl. After all there wasn't a better duo than James and Lily.

* * *

Lily had taken to speaking to herself. After going an entire day without human contact, the sounds of the jungle seemed to make her jump slightly.

" You couldn't just learn how to apparate," Lily muttered as she raised a curved knife to slash at the thicket before her. She smacked a bug that landed on her bare arm. It was bloody hot in the forest of Venezuela.

Lily's bank account was too low to hire a guide to the inlet where the Catatumbo River met Lake Maracaibo. A plane ticket from New York to Venezuela drained her account save for a meager amount to buy some food and a crowded bus ride to a town near the river.

" What I would give for a bloody broom," sighed Lily.

Her hair was tied back and was greasy from three days of travel. She was wasting time, as it was already Tuesday evening. But this was something more than necessary, as Lily had no plans to ever leave England after she returned.

The sounds of the forest were sharp in her ears and Lily rubbed Cassius's ring as she trekked farther along the river. A good concealment charm helped keep muggles away but the Wizarding Folk of this area warned her to stay far from the storm, the eternal storm.

It was one of the more popular locations of the lightning and Lily wondered why she hadn't come before. She heard of the spot from grubby men at a Black Market in France months ago. But it was dangerous and hard to identify the right bolt.

She'd considered putting the ring back on to see what was happening at Hogwarts… Fear of what could be happening kept Lily from doing it.

She was nearly at the inlet and could make out a storm gathering above the water.

" Right on time," Lily stated, rubbing her arms. She was going to take a bath, a very long bath and scrub the jungle off her skin when she got home. Lily wondered if her old shampoo and conditioner were still in the girls' dorm in Gryffindor Tower. She hadn't taken them with her to James's house, as she stocked the stuff.

The ground was moist under her boots and Lily swallowed when she saw a snake emerge from it nearby. A day trekking through the jungle made her full decide to never return.

How could Cassius and her mum like to travel to places like this? It was disgusting and deadly. Lily shuddered when she remembered having to stun a large cat-like creature that was quite magical. She supposed getting one and unleashing it on the Quidditch team would make excellent conditioning.

The water of the river was brown near the bank. Oddly, the river reminded Lily of the Black Lake.

She groaned realizing how homesick she was. Five entire months away from England and her heart ached horribly. Lily longed for her dorm and the warm and inviting Gryffindor Common Room and her friends. What she would give for Michael's smarmy smirk and Marlene's long fingers braiding her hair.

Lily eyed a nearby tree and raised her wand. After a few minutes of work, she grimaced at the shite attempt at transfiguration she'd done. She'd improved slightly but it was still pretty horrible.

She dragged the makeshift boat over to the edge of water and bit her lip.

" Is this going to float?" Lily wondered aloud.

" Maybe for a second," another voice answered. She whirled around and had her wand aimed into the forest. But a pair of bright green eyes met hers with a grin.

" Marcus?" Lily asked in confusion. Marcus Clarke walked out of the thicket with his wand at his side and looking ten times better than Lily. " What are you doing here?"

Marcus eyed her state of dress before meeting her eyes.

" There's a frog on your pants," he commented. Lily looked down and grimaced at the small creature sticking to her calf. She rubbed it off and shuddered.

" What are you doing here? I thought you were against this," Lily muttered. Marcus shrugged.

" I am…. I'm just not looking forward to having to go to England and tell that James fellow that you're dead, " Marcus explained. He crossed his lithe arms over his chest. " You can't do this alone."

" I have to," Lily answered. " Marcus when I go into that lightening, I'm not coming back."

Marcus frowned and realization dawned on his face before fury settled.

" That's the dumbest thing I've heard- you can't control it," Marcus hissed. " Using it for transportations is like giving fate the middle finger."

Lily nodded grimly.

" I know that."

" I'm coming with you," Marcus answered. Lily turned to him with an outraged expression.

" You're not going anywhere near England. No you're going to go back to New York," she hissed. Marcus smirked at her and she narrowed her eyes at him.

" You can't stop me," he replied. His eyes flashed and Lily scoffed.

" My war isn't yours- this is why we can't be family," Lily explained.

" The war isn't yours. I'm an auror. Dark Wizards are my specialty whereas you're just a kid."

" If you go into that storm, you could lose your fire," Lily said desperately. Marcus merely shrugged.

" Not all of it," Marcus answered. " If you go into that storm you're going to lose everything."

" I have to," Lily justified. She took a ragged breath and wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead. " I'm a better person without it, but you're meant to have it."

" It's my life," Marcus protested. " I'm going with you."

He turned to fix the boat and Lily regarded him with narrowed angered eyes. Marcus could control his fire but Lily couldn't. She couldn't risk anything with it. She'd let it destroy so much in her life and it was time for her to finally destroy it.

Thunder trumpeted and the jungle erupted into the sounds of animals. Lily rubbed her bare arms and felt rain land on her head.

Marcus started to stand up and Lily blinked against the downpour.

" I'm sorry," she whispered, pulling her wand out.

" Stupefy."

Marcus didn't have time to duck before the spell hit him and knocked his form back into a tree. She couldn't let him come with her, even if it meant he'd never forgive her for this. Lily could see rain hitting his figure and turned to the raft he made.

She dragged it to the shore of the water and water lapped at her ankles as she walked into the river. The wind howled and thunder and lightning clashed in the air.

Lily was waist-deep in the water before she leaned forward and got onto the raft. She aimed a wind spell behind it and with the water; it shot forward into the tempest.

Rain fell so hard that Lily was soaked as the raft and her spell fought the strong waves. The shoreline faded and took Marcus away with it. Lily hoped to Merlin she would never see him again.

Her wand started to slip from her grip as a wave crashed onto the raft. Lily spat out water and gasped for air as storm clouds surrounded her. Chills filled her down to the bone and she looked up to the flashing sky.

The lightning looked like a strobe light and rain hit her almost painfully. The dried clothing she wore that morning clung to Lily's skin like a second layer. Her hair was wet and stuck to her back as Lily closed her eyes and left the raft.

She dove into the river and tucked her wand into the waistband of her pants. The water was strong and Lily fought against it. Panic and fear surged inside of her but she kept the image of James's bloodied body in her mind as she swam against the current.

She was cold, hellishly cold and her body was tired of fighting the current. The winds and rain shrieked against her form but Lily surged forward.

Lightning flashed again and Lily sped up. She could see the winds dying as she approached the eye of the storm.

The water stilled in this area and Lily looked up to the sky. She heard thunder that made her ears hurt and shut her eyes. The lightning coming towards her figure flashed behind her eyelids and pain engulfed her as it hit her.

But Lily fought against it.

It was incinerating her from the inside and tearing her mind to pieces. She growled and felt magic around her. The sounds of the storm faded and Lily realized that the legends were true. Zeus's Wrath was her Deus Ex Machina- it was taking her home- yet every extra second in its power was killing her.

Wind tore at her and Lily felt the strange sensation of apparation as her body screamed in pain… Just because this was possible didn't mean that it should be done.

" Hogwarts," Lily muttered. " Take me to Hogwarts."

Her mind was engulfed in pain and she screamed as thunder sang and the lightning lashed out. Darkness didn't eat her away- this time light so blinding made Lily's eyes fight to stay open.

She forced them open and her lips pulled up when she saw Hogwarts.

And like that Lily was home.

* * *

It was almost midnight but Remus was patrolling. The patrols were reassigned to death eaters and he walked with a large distance between himself and Lucius Malfoy.

" This bloody storm better end before morning," Malfoy muttered. Remus peered outside to the Black Lake and frowned when lightning flashed in the sky.

" Hopefully," he noted. Malfoy looked over at him.

" You're a smart man Lupin, the new world's going to need men like you," Malfoy declared.

Remus ignored the feeling of disgust coming over his mind. Getting a compliment from Lucius Malfoy was a low in his life.

Wind howled and the old windows seemed to shake as thunder echoed across the area.

Remus stopped and felt something horrible inside of his gut. Being a werewolf gave him advanced senses and he could hear a horrific scream tearing through the air.

" What in Merlin's na-"

Before Remus could finish, Lightening spiraled down and the windows shattered around the Entrance Hall. He quickly set up a shield charm but a shard found it's way into his leg.

Remus squinted his eyes and cursed, the tree near the Black Lake was on fire.

" Come on Malfoy, let's put that out," he quickly ordered. Remus stepped out of one of the windows and Lucius followed him with a distasteful look. The rain seemed to die down and Remus ran to the Black Lake.

He was out of breath when he reached the tree and stopped in his tracks.

" Godric's pants," Remus gasped. He wondered if he took too much pain relief potion as he moved closer to the dying fire surrounding the ground where a beech tree once stood.

" What's that?" Malfoy asked. Remus could see more death eaters coming out of the castle and crept forward. His blood pulsed with adrenaline as he batted a sputtering flame back.

" Lily."

Lying in the charred ground where a tree once sat was a bleeding girl. Even with her eyes closed, Remus could identify her from anywhere. Splayed out behind her was a mess of fiery curls, that did not look one bit like the crimson locks she left with.

" What the fuck?" Malfoy declared from behind him. Death Eaters were putting out the flames and one came closer. Remus could see a ring in Lily's relaxed hand and suddenly her eyes ripped open.

She gasped for air and looked around widely. Her eyes landed on someone behind him and she smiled.

" Jason," Lily croaked before letting a gasp of pain out and her eyes rolled back. She fell back into the dirt and someone shoved past Remus.

Rain was still falling and Jason knelt down as death eaters raised their wands at the scene. Remus watched the scene, almost positively sure he'd overdosed.

" Stop," Jason shouted. He turned and raised the ring high enough. Remus supposed it looked like the sun for a moment.

" She's my sister."

And like that Lily Gastor was reborn.

* * *

**Sorry for the wait! It's horribly hot lately and writing in the heat isn't my favorite thing in the world. I mostly spent this past week mapping stuff out for part 4 and 5 while running those notes by my beta. There's been a few fork at the road situations but luckily, they're capped. **

**Loving those reviews guys!**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	29. Team Good

**Chapter 29 Team Good**

**(Glad Girls)**

* * *

He loved his family. Jason Gastor put his family before anything and everything. Even when they were dead he'd do anything to keep their legacy alive. Even when Pericles abandoned him and Lily, he still cared about his brother.

" That's enough."

The statement rang in the room and Bellatrix Lestrange whirled around to him. Behind her, Pericles was barely able to stand. Shackles held him to the wall and Jason knew for a fact that the death eaters holding him by the arms were nothing in comparison to those shackles.

" Want to say something Jacie?" she asked in a high tone. Pericles' blood dripped down her arms but Jason could still see the dark mark beneath the crimson liquid.

" I'm the head of my family- not Pericles. If you're going to interrogate anyone it should be me," Jason explained. He wasn't courageous. His friends were brave. His mum was brave. Lily was the epitome of fearless. But Jason Gastor was afraid of a lot of things.

He was afraid of being alone and he was afraid of failing his family. He was afraid of not being loved and ending up like James and the Dark Lord. He was absolutely petrified of the dark.

When Jason was a kid his mum used to sneak into his room every night and place a candle by his bed or Lily's. Even now, he still lit a candle before falling asleep. Being in the dark in any sense scared him. There was something horrible to being blind- it seemed like the most hellish torment in the entire world.

Bellatrix Lestrange once used a spell to permanently blind a muggle right in front of Jason. He still had nightmares about it.

There was a smirk on Bellatrix's face as she strolled over to him. Her dark robes were smeared in blood and Jason knew that some of those marks were her own blood- Andromeda's…

" I never took you for a lion," she declared. Her cold fingers trailed down Jason's jaw. " You've always been a lamb to me."

Jason scowled and swallowed down bile. It seemed that those in charge of this mission were a bit too curious about Lily. Jason hadn't stopped fighting to come down her until he saw Remus place her on a bed in the hospital wing.

Death Eaters pulled her out of his hands and grabbed him. Jason had no idea how Lily managed to get past the wards and barriers the death eaters set up. But she did. And if she was back then he knew she'd want the truth out.

" As I said before, Pericles and I have a sister," Jason answered. There was sweat on his neck as Bellatrix's wand found his pulse.

" Yes we heard that part," she commented coldly. " Enlighten me, is she a bastard or a half blood?"

" She's fully our sister," Jason hissed. " Do a blood test spell or when she wakes put a Gastor ring on her. I guarantee she'll be able to wear it without suffering from the consequences of not being a Gastor."

Bellatrix rolled her eyes at his statement. " We have to question her too and if the ring permanently damages her mind then she's useless."

" It won't," Jason protested.

" Secrets come out Jason," Bellatrix mused. Her eyes hardened. " I doubt your family could have a secret child for seventeen years and no one knew about it."

Jason's eyes darted to Pericles's figure. His gold eyes seemed tired as he watched him.

" Charlus Potter and my dad were excellent wizards," Jason explained.

" Everyone knows that," Bellatrix snapped. Jason nodded and grinned at her statement.

" Now imagine the pair working with Dumbledore on a confundus charm combined with a veiling charm. Remember that fire at the Rosier's Christmas party eight years ago? Well Lily did that. My parents sent her away and I don't know why but they chose to erase her memory out of everyone's mind who wasn't in our family."

Jason swallowed and looked back to Pericles. There was a ghost of a smile on his face.

" Continue," Bellatrix ordered. Her wand bit into Jason's neck painfully.

" They didn't let us talk about her and people forgot to ask question with time," Jason stated. " There are records of her going to school in Greece and in Beauxbatons until my fifth year. After my parents… died, Lily came back. She got expelled from Beauxbatons and decided to well she-"

" Is a blood traitor," Pericles interrupted. His right eye was swollen but he managed a tight smile. " Our sister is a blood traitor Bellatrix. She came back and pretended to be a muggleborn to make a bloody statement. But both of us know that lies catch up to people. So she left again, right after what happened last December. And now she's back."

Bellatrix looked at them incredulously and Jason bit down a grin as he met Pericles's eyes.

" She's stubborn you see," Jason drawled.

" By the time Lily dearest rolled around my parents sort of gave up on raising their kids," Pericles offered." Let the little buggers roam around the Manor. If anything that's testimony to Jason's lack of ambition..."

Pericles was struggling to maintain a straight face and Lucius growled.

Bellatrix slapped Jason across the face and grabbed him by the face.

" You expect me to believe that none of you told anyone? You expect me to believe that your father didn't tell the Dark Lord he had a daughter?" she demanded.

" Oh he knew," Jason clarified. " I guess you just weren't important enough for him to tell."

He looked over at the blonde man holding his left arm. " Pretty sure your dad figured it out Malfoy. It's a shame he died- he could have saved all of us this conversation," Jason revealed with a shake of the head.

Pericles coughed and Malfoy gave Jason a disgusted look.

" Who else knows?" Bellatrix suddenly demanded. Jason felt a flash of panic come over his mind as he struggled to find an answer.

" That's irrelevant," Pericles quickly exclaimed. " Most of the people who know about Lily are dead."

" You said most," Malfoy observed. Jason glared at him and Bellatrix's wand dug into his throat.

" Lestrange I'd prefer to stay scar-free- I'm afraid I can't pull off scars," Jason admitted with a regretful shake of his head. He bit on his tongue when Bellatrix sent a slicing jinx at his cheek.

" Bitch."

Bellatrix smirked at this.

" Answer the question and I'll refrain from ruining that pretty face," she declared.

Jason raised an eyebrow and looked down at her with a shrug. " Honestly I'm not really sure who Lily decided to tell. It was her secret so none of us told anyone, except for…"

Jason shut his mouth and Pericles threw his a scowl as Bellatrix smiled slyly.

" Except for who?"

Her wand skirted over Jason's forehead and he leaned back.

" Well sometimes I'd tell myself. It's hard to believe that our family's so bloody good looking. I mean have you seen Lily and me?" Jason answered.

He couldn't stop the groan that slipped through his teeth when Lucius punched him in the face. Jason hunched over and felt blood fall from his nose but Rodolphus Lestrange shoved him up.

" Where'd you learn to punch?" he asked while the world spun slightly. " I doubt they teach it in the institution for ponces and gits."

Bellatrix turned to Pericles and raised her wand.

" Crucio."

Pericles's body thrashed against the chains and Jason fought against Malfoy and Rodolphus.

" Stop it," he ordered. Bellatrix ignored him and Pericles screamed. Jason cursed and shut his eyes, unable to watch this.

A wand prodded at his throat.

" Eyes open," Malfoy growled. Jason reluctantly opened them and could see tears streaming down Pericles's face and spasms rocking his body. His eyes rolled back and Bellatrix smirked as he slumped against the wall.

She turned to Jason with a wide wild smile. There was pleasure behind Bellatrix's stormy eyes.

" If you don't tell me who else knows I will kill him. Then you'll really be the last Gastor," threatened Bellatrix.

" No there won't- Lily is my sister," Jason spat. But he knew Bellatrix would live up to her words.

" Why do you want to know?"

" You're a pureblood and in a decade you're going to have a lot of power. I'm just making sure you're not bringing covering for a mudblood. The Dark Lord would be so disappointed," Bellatrix explained.

Jason didn't tell her that he couldn't care less for the Dark Lord. The Dark Lord's bloody war lost him everything. But the war made him strong enough to do what was right. The war gave him a new family and a second chance- Jason would rather die that out anyone he screwed over before.

But he wasn't willing to let Pericles die.

" James Potter knows."

Deep down inside he knew there wasn't a choice in this. But on the surface all Jason knew was that he lived up to his Patronus.

He was a rat…

* * *

" It's been four days," Willow Weasley sobbed into Marlene's arms. Her red hair fell down Marlene's arm like fire.

" Hey," Marlene said softly. She pulled Willow's face up from her chest gently and wiped the tears streaming from the girl's eyes away.

" You're right. It's been four days of hell. We've survived this long and that makes us invincible. We're not going to die now," Marlene assured. But she didn't know if that was true.

On Wednesday morning, a death eater announced to the Gryffindors that all the houses were on lockdown due to a security breach. When a fifth year demanded to know what was happening the death eater hit him with the cruciatus.

Gideon and Alice were taking care of the boy while Marlene was comforting one of the scared students.

On the inside she was terrified. Ever since her conversation with McGonagall, Marlene decided to try and do something right. So she'd taken to helping out younger students and doing her best to keep her friends going.

But slowly everyone was losing hope that they were going to ever be rescued. More and more students started to vow their alliance to Voldemort every evening when the death eaters asked those who said no if they changed their mind.

" I want my brother," Willow sobbed. Her brother was a Hufflepuff, meaning there was no chance of Marlene getting him for her. She squeezed Willow's shoulder and wiped Willow's cheeks gently with a tissue.

" I know," Marlene murmured. But a bitter feeling filled her as she looked over to where Emmeline sat staring out the window at the storm. Emmeline was a husk of the girl who started to chase danger and laughed and lived so brilliantly.

And it was all Adam's fault. Marlene had seen the dark mark on her brother's arm and as much as it crushed her, it seemed to destroy Emmeline.

The regal girl, whom Marlene expected to one day call sister, did everything right. She ate and slept and did whatever the death eaters requested save for swearing her alliance to their leader.

But Emmeline was empty. She was a thousand miles away and Marlene needed her. Hogwarts needed the old Emmeline back.

Willow's sobs grew louder and Marlene's thoughts broke when she looked back to Willow. She tucked a red curl behind Willow's ear and smiled at her.

" I've got a big brother too," she admitted. Willow sniffed and Marlene handed her a tissue.

" They're supposed to protect us," Marlene mused. " But I think we're a lot stronger than people give us credit for. Little sisters can sometimes save the world."

Willow blew her nose and nodded with a watery smile. Freckles lined Willow's face like the sky and her brown eyes sought Marlene's.

" McKinnon."

Marlene turned from Willow and could see Fabian standing behind them with a stiff expression. He hadn't forgiven her and Marlene couldn't blame him.

" Is there any news?" Marlene asked. Fabian shook his head and looked exhausted.

She dated him because he was happy and Marlene simply leached his happiness away. She used him and left a husk of a boy behind. Caught up in her own troubles, Marlene never noticed that Fabian became a man while she remained a girl.

" Carrow and Mulciber were outside," Fabian revealed. He had a conflicted expression as Willow stood to go to her friends.

" Marlene can I ask you something?"

" Of course," replied Marlene.

Fabian's expression looked utterly lost as he sat next to her and met her gaze. She never loved him; Marlene spent too much time pining after Jason and sleeping with Sirius.

" Mulciber said something rather strange," Fabian explained. He let out a breath and frowned. " He said that Lily- our Lily- was in the hospital wing."

Marlene bolted up at this statement and Fabian grabbed her wrist.

" She died Marlene," Fabian whispered in a pained voice. Marlene shook his hand off and took a step away from him.

" Thanks for telling me," Marlene answered. " But there's more to that story than you know."

She turned from Fabian and walked towards Emmeline. The nail polish on Marlene's fingers was chipped horribly as she shook Emmeline and forced her to turn.

Emmeline's cold ice eyes met hers dully and Marlene narrowed her gaze.

" Lily's back."

" According to who? Gossiping death eaters?" Emmeline scoffed. Marlene frowned and cleared her throat.

" Look I don't know if she's really back, but there's one way to be sure," Marlene revealed. All she needed was Sirius and that map that he and his friends created years ago.

" If Lily's really back then they're not going to let anyone near her. But I don't need to be near her to know if she's back. I need to get to Sirius."

Emmeline raised an eyebrow and glanced towards Alice.

" There's a passage from the Heads Dorms that goes straight to the Kitchens. With a good invisibility charm you could make it from there to the Slytherin Common Room," Emmeline offered in a thoughtful voice.

" How do I get to the Heads Dorms?" Marlene asked. Emmeline's eyes flashed and she shook her head.

" It's too risky. First off I don't know the password to the Heads Dorm or where the passageway is. Rick told me about it when I was a kid- it could be made up for all I know. There's death eaters stationed outside the portrait hole. You'll need an epic distraction. Something that will require all three of them to come inside," Emmeline stated.

" Em, it's Lily," Marlene said in a choked tone. " She's my best friend."

Emmeline met her gaze and shook her head.

" Marlene if they catch you not even Sirius will be able to protect you. One of them raped Marcy," hissed Emmeline. " We're not safe here in the common room with fifty other Gryffindors- it'll be worse alone."

Marlene's eye flashed with fury and she raised her chin at Emmeline, looking positively fierce.

" For my entire life I've been forced into the position of a damsel in distress," Marlene declared. " I'm done letting dragons trap me and knights save me. Emmeline I'm going to find out if Lily's here with or without your help. And even if she's not here we've got to fight. I'm done waiting around for someone to save me."

Emmeline's blank expression wiped off her face and a thoughtful one overtook her queenly features. Marlene bit her tongue and waited for Emmeline's verdict.

" Give me a moment," murmured Emmeline as she stood and walked over to Alice. They broke into a conversation and Marlene could see a reassuring expression rush over Alice's face as Emmeline smiled and returned to her.

" What did you say?" Marlene asked. Emmeline shrugged but her eyes glistened like glaciers.

" The password's Mugwomp," Emmeline stated. She glanced over to Alice with a smile. " Sometimes girls have to stick together Marlene."

Marlene nodded and pulled her hair up into a ponytail. Emmeline's eyes followed her fingers and Marlene glanced towards Emmeline's full and beautiful caramel and auburn curls.

" As for your distraction…"

Emmeline's eyes flew to the window of the Common Room and she looked around quickly.

" Confringo," Emmeline muttered. She tucked her wand into her sleeve as the glass shattered and exploded. Students cried out in shock and Emmeline shot Marlene an urgent look.

" If you make it to the Slytherin Common Room can you find out if Jason's safe?" requested Emmeline. Marlene nodded and smiled. She hoped Emmeline could see the acceptance in her gaze.

She loved Jason even though she knew that Sirius was beyond perfect for her. A part of Marlene's heart ached knowing that Emmeline was in love with Jason, even if she couldn't see it.

" Thanks Emmy," Marlene answered as the three death eaters entered the common room with raised wands. The rain and wind from outside hit them viciously and Emmeline smirked.

" Little sisters have to stick together," she called as Marlene moved through the pandemonium towards the Portrait hole. There was a smile on Marlene's perfect face as she headed straight for danger.

* * *

" Heard you're a dad," James recalled as he leaned against the wall of the dungeon. They'd been here for days. Death eaters came at intervals to give them food or escort them to the loo but they also came to torture them.

James was healing a rather nasty bruise on Michael's shoulder while blood fell from his broken nose.

" Yeah," Michael answered with a soft smile. " I'm going to Beauxbatons next year to be closer to my kid."

" Boy or girl?"

Michael hissed as James shot him with another spell and the bruise lightened.

" Boy- Oliver Wood's his name," grunted Michael. But there was a look of peace in his eyes. James had seen that look on Molly Weasley's face every time she spoke about her kids.

He wondered if he'd ever get the chance to have that look of complete peace. Growing up an only child meant that James hadn't experienced much with children his age. As both his parents did not have families, he never interacted much with people younger than himself until his later years.

He liked kids. James liked going with his mum to visit the Weasley family and playing with their babies and toddlers. After she died, he still visited but not as often. Even a year later there was a missing piece in his life that no one could fill…

" Makes a lot of sense why the Lestrange's got you down here," James mused. " How's Abilene?"

Michael's expression changed and he shrugged.

" Willing to let me be closer to Oliver but not really forgiving… She heard about Lily."

James nodded and raised the blood-splattered wand to his own face.

" Episkey."

He winced as his nose snapped into place painfully.

" If you don't mind me asking," James started as he scanned his body for more injuries. " What exactly happened between you and Lily?"

Michael's expression softened and he smiled slightly.

" She rejected me," Michael admitted. " Over and over again she kept rejecting me. And I was hurt- Merlin knows how much that hit my pride. But then I realized why she was doing it. Sometimes friendship is more important than trying a romance doomed to fail. We're dueling partners Potter. She's still my best friend."

James nodded and wiped the blood from the wand they were sharing.

" So instead of love you two chose companionship," he assessed.

" There are people out there who are meant to fall in love with each other… Lily and I weren't those people. We were meant to be friends."

James understood this completely. The way he felt about Lily wasn't based on lust or devotion- his love for her was based on how she could be everyone's best friend. Simply Lily brought out the good in people.

" So have you got any other ideas for getting out of here?" Michael asked.

" There's at least five death eaters escorting us to the loo and they're smart," James explained. He scowled when he identified the group in charge of him and Wood. " Lestrange isn't stupid. He knows exactly what I'm capable of."

" Well there's one thing he hasn't thought of," explained Michael. James raised an eyebrow as Michael grinned and jutted his chin towards James's abdomen.

" They might be good at magic but they're scrawny. Some muggle dueling might come in handy..."

James mulled this over and knew it would be easy to knock out Selwyn or Bulstrode. Between himself and Michael they might be able to knock out all of the death eaters before they called for help.

The door opened with a creak before James could answer Michael and he looked over to see Cygnus Black and Steven Flint standing in the doorway. Flint came over to him and smirked.

" If you think what Rodolphus is doing is painful then wait till Bellatrix gets to you," Flint explained as he pulled the shackles down with a flick of his wand. Before James could move, Flint stunned him and the wand in his hand fell to the ground. He looked to Michael as Cygnus and Steven levitated his prone form from the room.

James studied the hall they were going down and winced when Flint slammed his body into a doorframe and shot him a smirk. This may have had something to do with the fact that James slept with Flint's girlfriend last year…

They dropped him to the ground and pulled him up to shackle him again. James met a pair of gold eyes and frowned. Why would they torture Jason?

There was a cut across his jaw and Jason's nose was broken. Blood stained his clothing and somehow Jason managed to look vibrant.

The room was filled with death eaters. James could make out familiar faces in the clumps they stood in. Why would so many of them want this? They had siblings or family here.

Bellatrix Lestrange stood by Jason speaking to Lucius Malfoy and eyed James with a smirk.

" Let's hope you weren't lying Jason," Bellatrix Lestrange drawled as she pulled her wand from Jason's throat. She slinked over to James and he struggled not to move.

Bellatrix Lestrange enjoyed this. He wondered what she would do in a world after the war. She was built to fight like him, but she enjoyed seeing others in pain. She could play someone's vocal cords like no other.

" Little baby Potter's all grown up now," Bellatrix cackled.

Her blood-covered hands slid over James's scarred torso. He held his breath and met her eyes evenly.

" Why am I in here?"

Bellatrix stepped back and cocked her head at him with a curious look.

" Rumor has it that you were involved with a mudblood last year," noted Bellatrix. She looked back at Jason and rubbed her bloody fingers together before lurching forward and slamming her wand into James's jugular.

" Did you know?" hissed Bellatrix.

" What."

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes and dragged her wand down James's throat.

" The truth."

" About what?" James drawled. Bellatrix frowned at him and grabbed his neck.

" Don't be an arse Potter," she spat. " Tell me the truth about that so-called mudblood you pranced around with."

James glanced towards Jason who was watching them with imploring eyes.

" What did she tell you?" he asked Jason.

There was something complete in Jason's eyes. They'd been at war for eight years of friendship. But now James could see that all the battles and plotting no longer matter. For once he and Jason wanted the same exact thing.

" It's okay Prongs," Jason answered. " Tell her the truth."

James looked down to Bellatrix with a firm expression. Her eyes were wild in a way so different than Sirius's but he could see the same emotion in every death eater's eyes in this room. They were scared. They were terrified that he wasn't at fault. Every man in this room had been led to believe that he was a traitor and he was a traitor.

In James's mind he knew that even if Lily were muggleborn- even if she was a muggle he would still be so hopelessly in love with her. A year ago the idea of being around muggles repulsed him and now a part of him wished that Lily were a muggle. Maybe if she were a muggle or muggleborn she wouldn't have left. If she were anything but the person she was then she wouldn't have left him.

But she was Lily Gastor and James loved her. She changed him for the better and he was the one person that didn't think she needed the sun or the moon or the stars. All Lily needed was someone to tell her that she was loved with every single flaw she had. She didn't need someone to say she was perfect or to try and fix her. She needed James simply because throughout this past crazy year, he loved her and his love never wavered.

" Why does this matter now?" James asked in a thoughtful tone. " Why do you want to know the truth now and not days ago?"

Bellatrix slashed her wand in a gesture to him and James hissed as the skin of his neck ripped open.

" I'm the one asking questions Potter," announced Bellatrix. James could see a hint of panic in her eyes and met Jason's gaze once again. There was a fire burning in his gold eyes- a fire called hope.

There was only one reason Jason Gastor could possibly have hope and James knew exactly what it was, even if it seemed impossible in a situation like this. Lily was back.

" You won't like my answer," James started.

" You're not going to like it because the Dark Lord's going to kill you. He'll kill you for this. If you remember, Jason and I are somewhat important. And you just spent three days torturing me."

" Answer the question Potter," Bellatrix ordered. But her hand shook and James grinned knowing that he won.

" Lestrange you've forgotten something… I don't take well to orders."

Jason met his eyes with a grin and James brought his unshackled legs up to the wall and pivoted off it. Bellatrix stumbled back and two death eaters moved forward, giving Jason the opportunity to punch Malfoy in the gut and snap Rodolphus arm back.

" Get a wand!" James barked.

They were using Michael's plan but he wasn't here. James sent Michael Wood a silent thank you as he watched Jason pummel death eater after death eater. A wand was thrown in his direction and James sloppily caught it and repeated the spell Flint did in front of him.

His hands pulsated from pain as he lowered them from the chains and brought his fist down to Greengrass's face. Spells flew in the air and James used Greengrass's body as a shield before grabbing another wand from the ground and sending stunners out.

" You're out of practice," Jason called as he sent a disarming spell into the fray. James found his back and leaned down. Spells shot from their wands like a hurricane. Although he was better with Sirius, Jason knew enough dark spells to keep the death eaters down.

" You can't even do a bloody bat bogey," James answered. A peal of rich laughter rose from Jason's chest and it felt so bloody sunny in that room. Jason had that effect on people. With his glowing disposition and smiles, Jason Gastor blinded James so badly he didn't see why what they did was wrong.

But five months without the sun and in a world that felt cold made James see the truth. Jason was still the same vicious person.

" No Unforgivables," James hissed as a green light flew out of Jason's wand and into the darkened room. Jason looked over his shoulder and met his gaze. There was something wild and hungry in his eyes. James wondered how long it had been since Jason even showed up to a lesson. He looked starved- starved for battle.

" They crucioed Pericles for hours," Jason answered.

Both of them knew what that meant. There was a limp body shackled to the wall and it was covered in blood. Those gold eyes wouldn't open again, not likely. And if they did then the man that came back wouldn't be the same one that taught James how to fix a pair of broken glasses or gave him his first healing book.

" Expelliarmus."

A man shot back into the wall and his wand was on the ground. The remaining death eaters were retreating. James could make out the cowardly form of Severus Snape in the mix.

Jason's wand was directed to the retreating men and James gave him a warning look. A spell nicked his leg and it was bruised horribly.

" Don't… They're going to get backup- enough people to get us with at least one killing curse," James ordered. Jason nodded and the battle lust was dying from his eyes.

There was fire in his lungs and James leaned down, catching his breath. His head spun as he filtered the situation.

" Lily's back," he concluded.

Jason looked up from a bruise on his side and jutted his head in agreement.

" Pomfrey and Slughorn are with her… It's bad Prongs."

James knew the nickname slipped out. But even the term of endearment did little to stop the pain in his chest. Lily was here. His Lily was home. She was home and they could live happily ever after.

Yet that wasn't true and James wanted to scream and pull his hair out in frustration. Within five minutes, enough death eaters to get one lucky hit at him and Jason would be here. More would be stationed around the Hospital Wing. She was so close, but there were cages of hate and titanium keeping her from James.

" They'll make sure she's safe?"

" Yes- Pomfrey promised me," Jason replied. James nodded and moved to his old friend. They both grew up in different ways this year. Jason seemed to fall into the shadows and James was jumping out of them.

All of this was because of one girl who went away. One girl made the difference- she gave James the courage to rip shadows from his skin. And she gave Jason the chance to change.

" I've got a plan," James said as an old memory hit his mind. Soft music resounded in his empty mind and he knew what they were going to do. " It's dangerous and we'll probably die, but if it works then we can fix this."

Jason was quiet for a moment. A few months later, one would look back and know that while he thought about fighting for a better tomorrow, the other just wanted to survive today. And it killed him to know that his fight killed the better of the two.

" Yes."

" If I'm going to die, I'd rather do it in flame of glory than old and drooling on a pillow."

It didn't matter who said it- simply both meant those words.

" Okay. First thing's first. We'll need to swing by my old torture cell and bust Michael out," James declared. ' Then we're going to make these bastards wish they were never born."

Friendship is a fickle thing. But brotherhood is eternal.

* * *

In the January of 1978, Michael Wood would raise a toast to Team Good and their fallen member. They were six for only days, and they were going to be five for the rest of their lives. He supposed the death haunted them all equally, save for Marlene…

Team Good- the group that saved the Wizarding World. They started off as a group of seventeen-year-old teenagers who didn't know a shit about what it meant to be an adult.

It started in the dungeons of Hogwarts from a blood-loss rambling of two lost boys. Those two boys became men when they decided to put the past aside in order to do what was right. They grew up.

If Sirius Black were questioned about the origins of the Team, he'd say it started in the dormitory he shared with Remus Lyall Lupin, James Charlus Potter, and Jason Edward Gastor, for six years. And really, the team started long before.

Team Good started when Jason Gastor hated killing but did it anyways. It started when James Potter saved a muggle family two weeks after kissing Lily Evans for the first time. Team Good started when Marlene McKinnon and Michael Wood joined the Order of the Phoenix. It started when Sirius Black became the Order's most valued spy. And it was assembled the day Remus Lupin decided that there were some things more important than duty.

On the first day of June, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were tucked away in their dorm. Both had the same set of bags under their eyes and their heads spun even though food was delivered an hour ago.

" Did your dad say anything about this mission at the last meeting?" Remus questioned. Sirius eyed the Marauder's Map with distaste.

" No. If you've forgotten there was a full moon when they took volunteers for this mission."

Sirius's eyes were glued to the dot of James Potter. It was moving and nearly on top of it was Jason Gastor's dot. Behind them, death eaters pooled like ants.

" Of course they managed to create mischief," scoffed Remus as the dots seemed to sprint on the paper Sirius could see them stopping in front of another room, but his eyes went to the Gryffindor Common Room. It was filled with people, enough people that he couldn't see Marlene's dot.

Sometimes at night, he'd stay up with the map and watch her. She never moved much at night, but Vance did. Their dorm was empty enough and Sirius felt a pang of sympathy for the love of his life. Marlene was alone.

" Uncle Alphard is in the Hospital Wing," Sirius noted. He scanned the people in the Hospital Wing and his eyes widened when he caught a name.

" Merlin's underpants."

" What?"

Sirius grabbed one of Remus's long fingers and jabbed it at a dot with a decent space around it.

When they made the map, Remus had been in charge of mapping out the hospital wing. He spent the most time in it so it seemed practical.

As of now, Remus's curled script spelled out a name that Sirius had said and heard, he thought about it so much. But he never saw it written out before now.

Next to Remus's blunt fingernail were the inked words, _Lily Gastor._

Remus looked at the paper with simply a shrug.

" They found her yesterday- that's the reason we're not allowed to leave," he explained.

" You didn't tell me?" Sirius demanded. Remus shrugged and stretched his legs out on the ground of their dormitory.

" Malfoy threatened to kill my dad. Besides, you wouldn't want to see her," Remus explained. His face greened slightly at the last statement.

" Why?"

" She's not the Lily that left. There was blood everywhere and there's this scar on her arm- something bit her and the veins around it are black."

" Does Jason know? Wait-" Sirius started. " James needs to know."

He dropped the map and moved to the door, unaware that the two dots of the other Marauders were with another dot, one of a Gryffindor. Sirius was unaware that Marlene McKinnon's dot was moving quickly down the dungeon hallway leading to the Slytherin Common Room.

" Sirius don't," Remus hissed. His face was contorted in a look of pain- the full moon was coming too soon.

" Why? James needs to know- it's high time that he stops moping around and gives that bitch a word or two."

Remus shook his head and guilt shown in his eyes. For a while Sirius didn't understand why he and Remus managed so well while Jason and James competed for the spotlight.

This year he learned that there were more things to life than trying to get his parents to be proud of him and flirting with Marlene. He learned a lot, but he still hadn't figured out why Remus of all people was so dull in their sky.

Remus was damn spectacular. He was a bloody supernova that was going to stay that way for ages. He was grand and Sirius supposed he'd do anything for him. It killed him to watch Remus's eyes settled in relief when his long pale fingers found the cool metal of his tankard.

" He's in love Padfoot," choked Remus. " And we're shite friends for wanting Prongs to hurt her."

Guilt crushed Sirius. He wasn't like Remus who considered all sides of a situation. He wasn't like James who could be blindfolded and know the way out of a labyrinth. He certainly wasn't like Jason who let fate decide everything. For Sirius, his decisions were made before he had time to consider having another option.

" This person he's become… It's not because Lily left is it?"

Remus smiled sadly and shook his head.

" He's changed and so have we. But the old Prongs who competed with you in shag competitions and had the firewhiskey stand record is gone."

Mulling this over, Sirius leaned against the wall next to the door and shut his eyes. He wished things could be different. He wished they could just go back to fifth year before Lily showed up and before the Potters got sick. Ultimately, it was impossible to go back.

They were growing up. If James growing up meant that he was going to stop wanting revenge so be it. Yet there was an awful emptiness in Sirius's chest. The Marauders were breaking, and the knife they fought on was being scraped clean of all the blood and tears they were the reason for.

" It's fucked up," Sirius settled. " This war and growing up."

Remus's hand came to his shoulder and Sirius could feel the heat of Remus's body seep through his thin shirt.

" The war's fucked up but growing up, well I think it's a little relieving- I mean look at Prongs."

" How so?"

Remus moved from him to James's bed and lifted the pillow. His hand disappeared under the case and he pulled out a glinting ring. Sirius's mouth dried at the sight of it and Remus leaned against the bedpost of the bed.

" When we were fourteen he vowed never to settle down," chuckled Remus. " And he's had this ring under his pillow for five months."

" Bloody hell- he was going to propose? I'm not proposing to Marlene for ages!" Sirius exclaimed.

Remus swallowed and pushed the ring back into the pillow.

" It's ebb and flow with you and McKinnon. With James and Lily- well they're the kind of people to put everything they have into something or nothing at all."

The door to the dorm was ripped open and Sirius turned to berate whoever was interrupting this moment. But his voice seemed to escape him as he watched four people stumble into the room and the love of his life shut the door.

There was a moment of silence as they stared at each other. Remus and Sirius were clean but the others in the room were covered in dirt and two of them were shirtless.

Sirius struggled not to stare at the scars that sat proudly on Michael Wood's bare chest and abdomen.

" Sirius," Marlene choked. Anger flared in his mind as he realized that Marlene must have traveled through Hogwarts while they were on lockdown.

" It's like a bad joke," he finally said. " Two Gryffindors and two Slytherins stumble into the Slytherin dorms without a mob rioting…"

Marlene's blood streaked face tore down into a frown and she and Jason led a limping James to his bed. He fell down and groaned. Sirius could see blood seeping from his side.

" Malfoy got him when we were freeing Michael," Jason explained. His gold eyes averted both Remus's and Sirius's. He was looking at the wall with a tight expression.

" Three days?" Remus asked. There was an uneasy smile on his face as he tried to bring some form of humor to this screwed up situation. " I mean you two should have saved the bloody school by now."

Jason's lips twitched as Marlene hovered over James and prodded his wound. Sirius bit his tongue as an ungodly groan of pain came out of James's mouth.

" We don't have much time," Michael interjected. Jason nodded and Marlene looked over at them with a strained expression.

" Sirius, we need the map, one of the mirrors, and the cloak," Jason explained. His eyes darted to James's form and he bit his lower lip. " They're hunting us and Lily's back and we don't have time."

Remus met Sirius's eyes and gave him a warning look. Both of them were damned by Jason, but they were growing up and it was time to put aside the past in order to have a future.

" Tell me one thing," whispered Sirius. Jason's eyes glowed like two stars as Sirius looked over at Marlene's ashen form.

" Were you in love with her?"

" I thought I was," admitted Jason. There was an anxious expression on his face and he kept looking down to the watch on his wrist. " I really thought I was."

" What changed?" Sirius hissed. " What changed that let you sleep with her but not fight for her?"

" Sirius…"

Marlene's soft voice cut through the tension and layered on an entirely different feeling. Sirius could feel pain he suppressed for months enter the room. All of them were seeing a side of him that Sirius fought for his whole life to hide. Blacks could not afford to be vulnerable but his heart was open for the world to see.

" Do you want to know why I'm so against James forgiving Lily?" he asked Remus. " It's because I forgave Marlene for something that's been eating at my heart for five hellish months. I made the mistake of burying what happened and it kills me everyday. I had questions- I still do. James is going to ruin himself if he decides he wants a fucking happily ever after. They're overrated."

" Whatever I decide to do about Lily is between me and her," James croaked from his blood-covered bed. " Padfoot, we're not you and Marlene. We're so different and I know that you lot talk about us. But that's the thing we're different. Has either of us ever done anything expected?"

Sirius nodded and there was a sharp moment of silence when he met James's gaze. Surely this was what it meant to grow up. Growing up meant knowing that there was no choice between friends and love- friends always stood by one's decision.

Remus and James stood by him when he fell in love with Marlene so he owed it to James to let whatever was going to happen, happen.

" Where are you going?"

" I don't know," Jason answered with a glance to James. He met Sirius's gaze once again and there was something set in his eyes.

" But I do know that we're going to fight this Padfoot- kill the monster from the inside."

Remus gathered the cloak and map while Sirius grabbed some of James's and Jason's clothing. He tossed a shirt to Michael while Marlene helped James up.

" So it's you three then," Remus settled. Jason shook his head and coughed.

" No. I screwed up Sirius. I screwed up with all of you but we need to fight. I'm done being Voldemort's puppet," he declared. Jason faced the group and looked like a leader. It seemed that he and James figured out how to coexist.

" For my entire life I fought a war that wasn't mine. I know that's true for everybody here. It's ending- it's finally ending… We just have to make sure that good wins it," he mused.

Michael stepped forward and grabbed one of the bags Remus set up for them.

" I overhead Carrow talking with Greengrass," he started. " There are forces gathering in Hogsmeade. The Order, the Ministry, and everybody who left, well they're here to fight. We just need to figure out how to get them inside."

" The passages," Sirius offered. " They're on the map."

James shook his head with a guilty expression.

" That's how most death eaters got inside."

Marlene frowned and looked around the group with a heavy expression.

" So everything you lot knows about Hogwarts…"

" They know," Remus finished.

" So we need something that not even the Marauders know about," Michael concluded.

It would be hard. They spent six years discovering secret passages and hidden rooms. Hope still sat in Sirius's chest- Hogwarts always had a way of surprising people. He knew they could do this.

" We can't stay here," Marlene interrupted. She was studying the map; the same one Sirius spent hours explaining to her over their Easter Holidays. " They're checking the common rooms. There's a group going to Gryffindor and one is coming here."

" I know a place," James muttered. " But it's a gamble… Seventh floor hallway where the tapestry of Barnabus the Barmy is teaching trolls how to dance. There's a room across from it called the Come and Go room. Walk in front of the wall of the corridor three times and say in your head that you need a safe room that only we can access. It'll appear."

A sense of shock rippled in Sirius's mind- James had kept a secret about the castle. Yet from the tight stare he was giving the group and the clenched state of his hands, Sirius knew that he had a reason for this.

Sirius checked the map and could see at least ten death eaters moving to the dungeons. They were too close to the Slytherin common room.

" We'll take it," Sirius decided stuffing belongings into a bag. He grabbed the two mirrors he and James used to communicate with during detention and handed one to Remus.

" We'll need to split up and meet somewhere so Prongs can take us to his safe room," Remus explained.

" Wood and I'll take Marlene back to Gryffindor and meet you lot somewhere," Sirius continued.

" I'm not going back Sirius."

Sirius whirled around to meet Marlene's gaze and laughed bitterly.

" Yes you are- you're going to stay safely in that tower until this is over," he answered. Marlene narrowed her eyes and Sirius could feel the swirling emotions in her mind.

" Sirius this is bigger than you and me. At the rate things are going at least one of us are going to die. And I'll hate you forever if you make me stay out of the battle, because I can make a difference."

" It's too dangerous Lene," Sirius protested.

" If you love me then you know that I'm meant to fight. I gave up too much- I need this," Marlene pleaded.

The clock was ticking and Sirius knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to Marlene. In his heart he knew that Marlene wouldn't be able to look at him if he stopped her.

She wouldn't be able to love him. She was in the Order. She spent a year dodging death and Sirius's veins felt like they were going to explode when he thought about how close she came to it.

But she was Marlene McKinnon and they lived in a war.

" Wormtail," Sirius said to Jason. He met those gold eyes and for the first time in months didn't feel the need to punch Jason or shout and scream.

" You and Remus are going to take her to the left corridor of the seventh floor where that room's located. Prongs, Wood, and I'll go after you," Sirius announced.

Marlene's eyes filled with hope and he stepped forward to Jason.

" You failed all of us," Sirius stated. " If anything happens to her on the way up there, I'll never be able to look at you again."

" I'll protect her," Jason vowed. His eyes gleamed and he shook his head before sending Marlene a soft smile. " I'll put her life before mine."

Sirius would too.

" We'll take the cloak for Jason and I'll take one of the mirrors," Remus added. " You three should take the map. Both Michael and Prongs are being hunted- you'll need it."

Sirius nodded in agreement and reached for the map. Remus handed a mirror to James who was sliding into a shirt with slight winces.

" You alright Prongs?"

James nodded but Sirius could see dim pain in his eyes. He had no idea what James went through, but it must have been hell.

" Yeah, I'll be alright once this is all over and I can see Lily," James replied. His finger ran along the length of a wand that Sirius remembered vividly from his childhood. That was Bellatrix's wand, the same wand used to test curses and jinxes on him.

" Let's go," Marlene declared, strapping a bag over her shoulders and turning to the door. Her chin was raised, making Marlene look like a goddess ready for war.

Jason and Remus walked beside her and Sirius threw an illusioning charm over Marlene and Jason while Remus opened the door. There was a handful of Peruvian Instant Darkness Powders in Remus's left hand.

" Always a Marauder," James noted, seeing the black powder. Sirius nodded and turned to his group.

" We're not really going to meet up with them are we?" Michael asked after a minute or so. James shook his head and moved to his trunk. He pulled out a handful of Filibusters Fireworks and had a wide grin when he stood.

" We're going to make some mischief Wood, enough to distract the death eaters from following them," James explained. " And enough for me to get into the hospital wing."

Sirius reached for the map and met James's gaze.

" I solemnly swear I'm up to no good," he stated. Before his eyes, ink appeared and James looked at the map with something akin to pride.

" Looks like Team Good's expanded," he called to Michael while studying the map.

" Team Good?" Sirius asked while he pulled dungbombs from his trunk. He threw some to Michael who pocketed them in a set of robes that were Jason's.

" James isn't too creative when he's blood deprived," Michael answered. Sirius's lips twitched and he eyed Wood. They weren't friends. But they were going to work together and save this damned world.

" Hospital Wing's guarded," Sirius noted. James nodded and reached into his trunk, pulling out a box. Sirius recognized it and James leaned down. He pulled a long black strand of hair from his pants.

" Not for Bellatrix Lestrange, who's currently locked in a dungeon room unconscious," responded James.

" That's vile- I think I'd rather die than become Bellatrix," Sirius uttered as James slipped the strand into a large vial from the box. Sirius eyed the Polyjuice potion and shuddered when James swirled the container.

" I've waited five months to see Lily- I'm not going to let a death eater invasion stop me. Once the Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder wares off downstairs, we'll set off one of the fireworks and make a break for it. When we reach the first floor, I'll take the potion and you two will go to the seventh floor. Don't wait for me," James explained.

" It wears off after an hour," Sirius pointed out.

" It'll be more than enough time," James said.

They met each other's gaze for a silent moment and Sirius knew that if he were in James's shoes and Marlene in Lily's, he'd do the same exact thing.

" I'm sorry but what in Godric's name are you two going off about?" Michael asked, breaking the silence. " Lily's dead."

Sirius had forgotten that in this mess Lily created, she forgot to tell Wood.

" I'm sorry," James said with a guilt-ridden expression. " She didn't want a lot of people to know."

" Lily's dead," Michael argued. His face was ripped with pain and James could see that deep down Michael must have always known the truth.

" She left," James clarified. " She left… Michael if you knew she was alive you would have gone after her- that's why she faked her own death."

" Why didn't you?" Michael demanded. " Why didn't you bring her home?"

Sirius watched as James's expression crumpled. He checked his watch and looked up with an anxious expression; they were running out of time.

" I tried but Lily's stubborn. In the end it pushed her away more," admitted James.

Michael's face didn't seem to want to settle and they were running out of time.

" Marlene and I'll explain everything to him when we get to the Come and Go room," Sirius suddenly declared. " We're running out of time and that puts Marlene and Remus in danger."

James nodded while Michael swallowed and trailed his hand along the scar to the side of his face.

" Marlene knows?"

" Wood we don't have time for you to have a meltdown," Sirius exclaimed. " Marlene needs a distraction and James and I will leave right now. You can sit here like a bloody duck and they'll kill you. But I'm not letting Marlene die because you put Lily on a damn pedestal and she fell!"

Michael Wood's brown eyes met his and Sirius could see tears in those large brown eyes. The same set of eyes he spent years meeting evenly or glaring at. But Sirius couldn't find it in himself to glare at Michael.

" Fine. Let's go so James can get his fucking happily ever after," Michael spat. Looking into those eyes, Sirius could tell that Michael wasn't mad at him or James or even Marlene for keeping this secret. He was mad at Lily for not giving him her trust.

The same expression of hate that Sirius found himself giving Jason for five months, rested on Michael's face. But there was something different to it. Sirius thought he and Marlene stood a chance, but Michael knew. All this time he knew the truth but forced himself to think differently.

" I'm sorry Michael," James said as they walked to the door. Michael placed a disillusionment charm on himself and shrugged.

" No you're not, but thanks for the gesture."

Growing up meant being the bigger person. So Sirius didn't shove Michael on the way out of his dorm. But maybe that was because of the sickening feeling in his gut that he may never return to this room again…

* * *

December 27 1976

There was a piano in Potter Manor. It was old and Lily could tell immediately that no one played it in a very long time.

" My parents made me take lessons," James explained when she slid onto the bench. Lily lifted the hood and trailed her fingers along the white keys.

" I was shite," James chuckled. " Tormented my tutor and snuck down at night to destroy it from the inside. But dad wanted me to learn- his dad used to play. Mum finally called the whole thing off when I managed to get a dungbomb to go off inside of it."

Lily dipped her index finger down and a crisp high note echoed deliciously in her ears.

" Do you remember how to play?"

She dipped three fingers in and James watched with a wry expression.

" No," he admitted.

" It's not like learning how to fly," Lily answered while playing a soft melody that she spent long summer days playing over and over again. The delicate notes seemed to dance around James's eyes. " It doesn't stick with you for life."

She was rough from lack of practice.

Looking closer at the piano, Lily could make out faded scuff marks and burns staining the side and top. Somehow this piano, with all its scars and marks and flaws, was better than any piano she'd ever encountered.

There was a question resting in her mind. A question she wanted to ask James ever since he said he loved her. But she was terrified of learning the answer. Lily was scared to learn that their love was only conditional and that it was all based on the reason for this war.

So very un-Gryffindor-like, she stored the question away.

That cold December day when the lilting notes of the piano brushed the shadows around them away, Lily did not ask the question. But a little more than five months later, she would.

And the answer was going to change everything.

* * *

June 1 1977

Hogwarts had a certain scent to it. It smelled good and magical. Its smell was the scent Lily would associate with magic for the rest of her life.

When she woke on Wednesday night, that scent engulfed her entirely. Her eyes were slow and the ceiling looked blurry as she took a ragged breath of air, getting some type of bearing.

Lily recognized the white arched ceiling of the Hospital Wing. She could feel bandages around her torso and forehead. When she reached up to feel the one on her forehead, a manacle chaining her to the bedpost caught her wrist.

Lily looked at the gleaming steel of the device and felt the odd urge to laugh. Her chest hurt and everything seemed so unclear. Yet she found it so funny that they'd shackle her up now when Hogwarts let her roam around like a ticking time bomb only five months ago.

She tried sitting up, and managed to in an awkward position. Her arms stretched painfully behind her while Lily surveyed the area around her bed. Thick curtain had been set up around it, allowing for privacy.

Lily could hear voices from beyond the curtains. She didn't remember much of her landing other than a brief flickering memory of seeing Jason's smile- his glowing beautiful smile.

There was a certain amount of fear in her heart. That could have been one of the many memories that whipped around her mind while she was unconscious.

There was suddenly noise coming from outside the curtain, and Lily's lips pulled down as she heard several crashes and explosions. The bed she was on rattled and her arm ached as she waited.

Shouts and yells echoed while a feeling of dread filled her. In normal situations like this, Lily was powerful. Even in her most dire states, she was deadly. Now Lily was nothing but dependent on others. Lily wasn't a hunter- she was a doe.

There was silence outside the curtains and Lily listened closely, hearing footsteps. The curtain was pulled back and standing in all of his beautiful damned glory was James Potter.

There wasn't a whirlpool of emotion or a volcano of butterflies ready to erupt from her mouth. Instead a warm feeling trickled from her eyes to her heart.

Somehow James seemed to become even more handsome in this war. He changed so much. It wasn't the broader shoulders or the sharper jawline. It wasn't the clear shifting muscles beneath his shirt or the pink scar on his arm. It wasn't even the shadows beneath his eyes or the slightly longer hair.

Simply it was how James Potter stood. He was standing as a man, not the boy Lily left behind.

James Potter was a sight to her eyes. She had been blind and stumbling in the dark for five months. Now, there was light, light that didn't blind her like the sun or make her whole like the moon. It was light that didn't change her at all. It was the glow of the sun that she could always see.

Yet now the stars seemed to sing.

His mouth wasn't stretched into a smile of victory or happiness. James merely gaped at her, as though she were an oasis and he was a man who spent his life wandering through a desert.

" James," Lily breathed. His name slipped out her mouth better than any song or music in the world. Those achingly haunted eyes were glued to hers, not the scars staining her body or the bandages on her form. He only needed her eyes.

" Christmas."

He still thought she was Christmas. Through everything they'd been through, he found family and solace in her.

" You're home," James choked. His eyes shone brighter and Lily wanted to never stop looking into the swirling galaxies of green and gold and brown and that incredible rainbow.

She shook her head and James stood in front of her. Her breathing grew louder like the rain as he reaches forward and placed his hand along her cheek.

" No," Lily answered. The dull eyes she'd taken on, the ones that didn't have fire for months were ignited as James took a wand out and broke the chains around her wrists. Immediately, Lily's arms flew up and she clung to him like a fallen star.

" You're my home."

* * *

**Sorry for the long wait. I wanted to write most of Part three's end together so it delayed the release. Chapter 30 is complete and I'm working through 31. **

**I hope this chapter was as good as I intended. There's not a lot of action, but it's the chapter where the characters realize how they've changed and that they're a lot closer to adulthood than childhood. **

**Things to keep in mind for the future:**

**1\. James was going to propose to Lily.**

**2\. Marlene has been to the Heads Dorm.**

**3\. Remus**

**4\. The Marauders, to some extent, have found peace. **

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	30. James at Last

**Chapter 30 James at Last**

**(I will be there)**

* * *

June 8 1977

" I was a death eater," James confessed. " I killed people and did so many awful things. I'm of age so I understand the repercussions of my actions."

Alastor Moody's fake eyes whirled around as he studied James's scarred arm. But there was a sickly sweet smile on his face.

" Have you read the prophet Potter?"

" Yes."

" They're calling you the savior of the bloody Wizarding World."

James didn't answer him. He wasn't a hero. The real hero of all of this was dead.

" You saved so many lives," Moody continued.

" I took so many," James answered in a defeated voice. He was tired of war and he was tired of killing.

" Dumbledore used to say something. It's never too late to do what's right," Moody answered. He picked a pamphlet from his desk and slid it across the wood to James.

" All of your crimes, all of the ones you told us about at least, were performed before you were of age. You're not going to Azkaban Potter."

Poof. Like that the entire killing and all the tortures were wiped away. At least to the Ministry and world they were wiped away. But to James, there was still blood staining his hands.

" I deserve the Dementor's Kiss," James protested. Moody leaned forward and there was a frown stitched to his face.

" We're not sending the Wizarding World's savior to Azkaban."

There were people under the imperius curse who killed. They were sent to Azkaban. Their families lost brothers and mothers.

There were people threatened into service. They got lifelong sentences in Azkaban.

Then there was James. The boy trained to kill and lead. The boy trained to be Voldemort's sword. He was getting off with praise.

" My best friend died- he's the real hero," James whispered. It hurt to think of a world where the Marauders weren't four. He lost more than a brother last week.

" Why are you so damn insistent on getting damned?" Moody asked in an amused voice.

" I'm no hero."

" Yes- you're just a boy. A boy who's changed the fate of our world."

James was silent and Moody sighed. He gestured to the pamphlet and met James's eyes.

" So become a hero. Voldemort's still out there and his forces will grow again. We need aurors Potter- men and women like you and Marlene McKinnon who think all they can do is heal the whole world. You need to fight the disease from the inside, not put a bandage around it."

" You want me to be an auror," James said dully. He was the type of person aurors were told to hunt. He was a criminal and a sinner.

" I don't ask people personally. I think it makes the entire auror department look rather desperate. But I'm asking you. You're going to be wasted potential if you decide to apply to Mungos," Moody answered.

" How do you know that?" James demanded.

Moody reached into his desk and pulled out a thick folder. He slammed it onto the table and James could see a name that made his heart ache scrawled onto the Manila paper.

" I personally conducted Lily Gastor's interrogation."

James's eye twitched and he swallowed. His hand tore through his hair and Moody watched the gesture.

" Your mother used to do that," he noted. James's hand paused in his hair and Moody's lip arched up.

" Dorea Potter spent a decent chunk of her time healing old me. She's the one who did this," Moody explained pointing to a nicely healed scar on his face. " You're not your mother and you've proved to the world that you're not your father Potter."

" Crouch is running for Minister of Magic," James started. " He just wants it to look like I'm giving him my vote."

Moody studied him with a tight expression before laughing.

" Purebloods- we see all sides of every bloody situation."

" That doesn't really help," James pointed out. Moody shook his head and stood.

" It does Potter- because you're going to prove the whole bloody world right. You're going to go back to Hogwarts and be their little darling and you're going to fight for what's right. Do you want to know why?"

James shook his head and Moody tapped the folder on his desk.

" Because the world needs a hero."

* * *

June 2 1977

" How do you suppose Em is doing?" Jason asked as he sat next to Michael. The Come and Go room seemed more than equipped to handle their rag tag team. With the assistance of the house elves Jason moved from his house to the school, they were able to retrieve food and even some clothing for Marlene.

Marlene and Sirius sat apart from them speaking in low voices on a cot. Michael glanced towards them and shrugged.

" You saw McKinnon right?"

Adam McKinnon had been one of the death eaters chasing after him and Sirius when they separated from James in the Entrance Hall. Michael shuddered, remembering Adam throwing a stunning spell after them as they sprinted through the castle only hours ago.

" Yeah." Jason scowled and checked the watch on his wrist. He'd done so every few minutes and glanced towards the door.

They created pandemonium and Michael realized that chaos seemed to follow the members of their little group around. The lanterns in the room shuddered and Remus walked over to where they sat on a makeshift table and benches.

" He's still in the Hospital Wing with Lily."

Michael disguised his anger with a bitter laugh as he saw the map. Trust the Marauders to make something this invasive. Yet in this situation it certainly had its perks. Michael eyed James's black dot with a sour smile. It was right on top of Lily's.

" Are they shagging?" Sirius asked with slight interest as he and Marlene walked over. His eyes widened at the dots Michael had his finger on.

" James might be horny but he's not stupid," Remus answered. There was a look of fear on his face. Being around Remus for only hours allowed Michael to see a side of the studious boy he'd never witnessed. Remus had this tendency to expect the worst from situations.

" Maybe James is waiting for something."

But Jason's voice held the doubts of the group. They'd been drunk on victory for hours and now the two missing people from the group seemed to wipe that euphoria away.

Michael rubbed his ring and could feel emotions bouncing around the room. He'd never really gotten used to the feeling, but it came in use.

" One of us could take that cloak and check up on them."

Sirius shook his head and Marlene frowned.

" We're not separating anymore than we are. If James isn't back by dawn then we'll talk," he settled. There was a certain amount of authority in his voice, which prevented Michael from trying to protest.

He had a point. Death eaters had seen every single one of them rebelling. Any who were caught, well Michael didn't want to think about what could happen to them.

He didn't want to think about Lily either. For five months he tried to honor her memory in every right way. He spent time making back up positions for Quidditch and setting up people to fill in the holes for the team next year. He tutored the fourth years in Defense and took on the patrols that no one else wanted.

He befriended Jason and got a new family.

But Lily wasn't dead so what was the point in this change?

What was the point in manning up and telling Abilene he'd be Oliver's dad?

Michael watched Sirius and Marlene retreat to a radio they'd found in the mess of this room. Sirius's lips pulled up as Marlene adjusted the dial and soft music filled the room.

They weren't broken or whole. Simply Marlene placed her head against Sirius's shoulders and their hands touched.

James's dot was still overlapping with Lily's.

Jason kept glancing at his watch.

Remus's hand was wrapped around a silver flask.

They were all so broken and they were made into puppets in the last few years. And now they cut the strings off and all them were free.

Maybe that's what Michael had to honor. He had to honor freedom's death and hope that something better could come from the ashes.

" You alright?"

He looked over at Jason's concerned face and noticed a sprinkling of freckles over Jason's nose that he'd never seen before.

" I don't think I'll be able to forgive her," Michael admitted. Jason nodded and his eyes gleamed like the sun.

" Honestly, I understand Lily's choices. But fuck her."

Michael's mouth fell open and Jason let out a low laugh.

" Fuck her for leaving me alone when I needed a family. Fuck her for breaking James's heart and making people cry over a lie," Jason continued. " Fuck her for keeping secrets and blocking me out. Fuck her for not showing up to Julius's funeral or Lucian's or Cassius's. If I die this week, I'll die wondering if she'll bother to come to mine."

" She would," Michael answered. " Lily adores you."

" She hates herself for loving me."

" She won't anymore… You're a different person- you're better than the boy she left behind."

" I love my sister but fuck her," Jason sighed.

" Fuck her for making me so dead inside," Michael answered. He reached for Jason's shoulder and squeezed it. " But fuck her for not appreciating you."

Jason's lips pulled up into a tired smile and he nodded before glancing at the map again. His eyes relaxed and he pointed to James's dot.

" They're coming."

James was coming to them and Michael was going to see a ghost. He was going to have to face Lily and eventually he'd have to tell her that they couldn't be dueling partners anymore. No matter how perfect they dueled together, he could simply never look at her without feeling resentment.

Lily's lie made him grow up. But it also ripped the last piece of childhood off his soul. He had no gold to hold onto, except for Jason.

* * *

June 9 1977

He wasn't good with crying people. For James's entire life, he'd never really encountered many crying people. Purebloods didn't show emotion. They were cold and perfect in a marble way.

Until the war started taking more and more lives.

When James was fifteen he learned that he didn't like crying either. At his mum's funeral, he hid away from the masses of mourning people. Sirius sat with him on a bench in Godric's Hallow while the pair sipped at a tankard of firewhiskey.

At the wake, he went on to greet those with blank expressions of controlled emotion. James avoided the crying masses.

In a war it's inevitable that one will cry. James counted every single time he cried since becoming a death eater. Nine.

He cried eight times in the past five years, three of which were Lily related. He cried when he thought she died and he cried when she left. James cried when Lily came home.

Two were when he found out his parents died. He cried when he killed for the first time. He cried when he heard about his godparents' deaths.

James was crying for the eighth time on June 8 1977. Sitting next to him, was a slight figure of a woman. Lily's red hair fell down her back in vibrant curls that seemed to bring color to the black dress of attending wizards and witches.

She wasn't crying. Lily's gaze was dull and she stared at the entire procession with an empty stare. Her left hand was engulfed by James's larger one and her right was sitting on her lap.

James could see something in her hand through his tears but didn't look closer. She was here and he was gone.

Sitting on Lily's other side was Marlene. Marlene's beautiful face was red and she clutched a tissue in her hand while sobbing onto Emmeline Vance's shoulder. James tried to stop listening to those wretched sobs but they spiraled around his mind endlessly.

Lily was still silent. There was something different to her face. It wasn't her eyes but her mouth. It was slightly open and James had a horrible feeling she wasn't going to smile in a very long time.

Standing at the front of the procession was a man the world called a hero. James wondered if Dumbledore was just like him- a fake hero.

Albus Dumbledore, the recently re-appointed Headmaster of Hogwarts looked around the large crowd with large mournful eyes. James could see a tragic expression on the man's face that seemed to echo across the crowd.

" To some death is something to fear or to wonder about," Dumbledore started. Lily's hand tightened on his as Dumbledore looked directly at them. " But to this boy, this vibrant beloved boy, death is simply the next great adventure."

James couldn't keep the tears from falling.

His brother was dead.

The Marauders were broken.

Lily squeezed his hand and the tears fell…

* * *

June 2 1977

When Marlene went to sleep there were five people in the room. When she woke up, there were seven.

She woke to voices and sat up from her cot to see James Potter standing in front of a cot. There were scrapes and barely healed cuts on his figure. Marlene could make out a tuft of missing hair from the top of his head.

" Potter is-"

" Yes, she's asleep."

Marlene stood and walked over to James. She wasn't a morning person but it was hard to sleep when they were being hunted. Stepping over Remus's prone figure, Marlene could make out a flash of red in front of James.

James Potter was anything but peaceful. Volatility and anger rippled off him for as long as Marlene knew him. He was full of energy and she always assumed he was an endless source of energy.

Today there was a peaceful smile on his face as he looked down at the girl sleeping on the cot. Marlene stood next to him and looked down at Lily.

It felt strange that she was seeing Lily before Lily could see her. Marlene always had it in her head that when Lily returned; they'd hug and cry.

Somehow this was better.

Although Lily looked, if possible, smaller than when she left, there was an air of confidence to the sleeping girl. Maybe it was the arch to her delicate jawline or the long lashes that curled up on their own accord. Or maybe it was the scars.

" Merlin," Marlene gasped. Scars stained her friend's skin like constellations and James's jaw clenched.

" She's even more beautiful."

Marlene turned to eye him. He stood over Lily with an almost protective stance. James grew up subtly, but it made all the difference.

" They complete her," Marlene replied. James's jaw relaxed and he gave her a looping smile.

" We're going to get out of this alive."

It wasn't a question. The statement that fell from James's proud lips was a vow. He had something to fight for. He had his north star.

" You're different Potter." James looked up from Lily with a curious expression. Marlene rubbed the sleeve of her shirt and jutted her head towards Lily's unconscious figure.

" The old James, well he'd want revenge. The old James wouldn't give anyone a second chance."

He was giving Jason and Lily and even Marlene a second chance. James Potter used to be a child, a spoiled child who was mad at the world. But Marlene supposed that he wanted to appreciate the world instead of hate it.

" We're going to be alright."

But James's voice wavered slightly. Both of them knew that things couldn't ever be the same. They couldn't go back to being spoiled children with petty problems anymore.

Marlene's biggest problem used to be dealing with Sirius's presence. Now she had a death eater of a brother and a broken home.

They talked for hours. Sirius held Marlene while she told him the news about her mother leaving her father. She knew they weren't even close to being in love. But it still hurt to see her childhood collapsing in a matter of days.

" Lily's lucky to have someone like you in her life," Marlene added. James shook his head and sighed.

" I've done more harm than good."

" She came back, so the good's got to outweigh the bad," Marlene argued. James's lips twitched and sunlight streamed into the room from a high window.

" You're not so bad McKinnon," he answered. There was stubble on his cheeks and Marlene watched as sunlight caught his eyes. His swirling irises didn't glow like Jason's or ignite like Lily's. Instead they seemed to sing.

" You're not so bad yourself Potter."

Lily stirred on the cot and Marlene watched as her vibrant eyes fluttered open. She waited to see the captivating fire of Lily's eyes but when they opened, all Marlene saw were a set of dull emerald eyes.

Lily gasped for air and her eyes whirled around the room before landing on Marlene's figure. They held eye contact for a moment before James made a noise and Lily met his gaze.

Her skin paled and there was frenzy in Lily's eyes as she took James in. She sat up and her arms shook under her as she forced herself up wearing nothing but a thin Hospital Wing gown.

Lily looked even thinner standing. Marlene could make out the prominent arch of her collarbones and the sharp edge of her elbows as she wobbled.

" Don't overdo it," James murmured reaching for her. Lily collapsed against him and met his gaze desperately.

" I thought it was a dream…"

Marlene pursed her lips, watching as Lily's eyes only sought James's. James held her gaze and everything seemed to click for them.

While the world was in chaos, as long as they had each other, they'd continue to burn bright. Bitterness filled Marlene fully. Sirius and her could barely hold a conversation about the war without an argument erupting. She could barely hug him without wanting someone else.

Lily's breaths picked up and James broke her gaze to pulled her tightly into his chest. His eyes finally met Marlene's and it took Marlene a moment to identify the emotion in James Potter's eyes.

Hope.

He had hope that they'd live and be okay and it was all because of Lily. Months ago he stumbled around Hogwarts in a drunken state of mind. Now he was leading them.

" We're awake- I promise you're not dreaming," James answered while keeping Marlene's eye. He was daring her to say anything. Marlene knew about the bet and the awful things he'd put Lily through in fifth year. He blackmailed her and broke her heart.

Marlene would always choose Lily and James was trying to make her see that there wasn't a choice here. He'd give up everything for Lily.

A soft smile of acceptance came to Marlene's face and James nodded.

They'd never be friends but Marlene could finally approve of James being with Lily. Simply, when Lily woke there was nothing but death in her eyes. With James, well Marlene was sure she'd seen fireworks.

She walked away from the pair to give them some privacy, only to stumble upon Jason and Remus. Remaining, silent Marlene stepped back when Jason spoke.

" She doesn't deserve to die for her blood."

Remus looked up suddenly and Marlene sucked in a breath when she caught the anger rippling off his form.

" My dad kicked me out," Remus confessed. Marlene watched as a dark look overcame his face and Remus laughed.

" Said it was time I made myself into something. But we both know that it's his fault I'm a monster."

What was Remus going on about? Remus Lupin was a perfect prefect, albeit, a tad too rugged for Marlene's tastes. He wasn't a monster.

" I'm sorry Moony," Jason whispered. " It's his loss- you're the best person I know."

" No you're not- you knew that I wouldn't be able to say no. You used my guilt to ruin Nymphadora's life. She's going to marry a monster."

" You're not a monster Remus," Jason cut off. There was a livid look on his face as he crossed his arms and regarded Remus coolly. " Stop punishing yourself."

" You don't know what I've done for your Dark Lord," Remus retorted. His face flashed with anguish. " He made me find Greyback- he made me hunt down the man that did this to me and convince him to join this war!"

Jason's face collapsed and he looked anxious as he swallowed. But Remus wasn't done.

" I joined the death eaters for you and James and Sirius. I did it because you lot did so much for me. But I hate it. I hate it more than anything. Do you know what they're going to do when they find out that I helped you? They'll kill my dad and then they'll come after me. I'm stuck fighting on the wrong side of this war."

" Did you see James's arm?" Jason asked. " He told me that he took a rock and ripped out the dark mark."

Marlene sucked in her breath as Remus shoved Jason into the wall. His arm was placed at his throat and Remus growled.

" Sirius is in the bloody Order and Emmeline Vance has got you wrapped around her finger. Don't you see- you three fell in love and that made you see right. But I knew straight away from the start of this mess what was right and what was wrong," Remus spat.

" Who was she?"

" She's gone- has been for years," Remus muttered. " Mary MacDonald died and none of you saw that I was in love with her."

Marlene's mouth fell and she wasn't aware that she stumbled back into a desk covered in knickknacks. A glass orb fell to the ground and shattered. The pair of boys whirled around to see her there watching the entire scene.

Remus's face collapsed and Jason's narrowed.

" Lily's awake," Marlene stuttered. Jason's eyes relaxed slightly and he turned from her and Remus to stalk towards Lily's cot, leaving Marlene to face Remus alone.

" I won't say anything," she promised. Remus's lips pulled up and he slumped against the wall.

" It doesn't matter. She died and I've always known what's right. It took you to change Sirius…"

Marlene was silent as Remus watched her.

" McKinnon."

" Yes?"

" Sirius is a storm that's easy to get lost in- don't lose yourself to him," Remus advised.

As he walked away, Marlene felt a sharp pain in her heart. She stopped hanging out with the other Gryffindors and all of them found new places for themselves. She was scraping good enough grades, but wasn't shining anymore.

Around her the world kept turning. They were graduating in a year. They were growing up. People like James Potter and Jason Gastor could fall in love so deeply that they were willing to abandon everything they knew for their entire lives. People like Michael, the boy who was allergic to responsibility, were manning up. Around her, everybody was growing up. But Marlene hadn't changed.

She was still Gryffindor's princess and she still couldn't look her dad in the eye. She was still just Marlene, the student not good enough to get grades like James and Damian Belby, but good enough to take five NEWTS.

She got lost in Sirius and of all people Remus Lupin had been the one to make her see that the world didn't stop for love. It kept spinning on and some people had all the luck.

James and Lily's love depended on change. Jason fell in love because he grew up. Marlene could only love Sirius when she was young and beautiful. She couldn't love him when there was something other than beautiful Marlene McKinnon in the picture.

Even then she wasn't in love with Sirius. As long as Jason existed with his burning light and smiles and laughter Marlene could never love Sirius.

And from the way Sirius was looking at her right now, she knew that he was fully aware of that.

" I'm sorry."

He snuck up on her and reached forward to hold her hand.

" We'll talk when this is over."

But they wouldn't talk about how Marlene was in love with someone else. They would never speak about how she cheated on him and how he made her into someone she wasn't.

* * *

June 10 1977

There were certain memories that stuck with people for life. James would never forget how Lily's dress billowed out around the carpeted ground she sat on. He'd forget the date and the time of day and even the words they exchanged. But James wouldn't ever forget the way Lily's hair curled and how sunlight hit it bringing out highlights of crimson and copper and gold.

He'd never forget how her lips remained slightly wet and her teeth dug into them. James would never forget how Lily's long fingers curled around his hands. He'd never be able to get the way her eyes shined with an unspoken promise that night.

He'd forget the pain in his arm and chest. He'd forget about the people downstairs and joining them to toast an amazing man. James would forget having to carry Lily's sleeping form upstairs and falling into bed beside her.

" We're going to be okay."

James didn't respond and Lily stood, moving between his legs. Her light weight balanced itself on his lap and she rubbed his shoulders while he stared blankly ahead.

" James please answer me," she asked in a hoarse voice. James wondered why her voice was cracking and breaking- he hadn't seen her cry once since this entire mess started.

Lily was a rock. While a storm engulfed his world, Lily remained still and present. James reached out and clung to her, trying to keep the storm from pulling them apart.

" He's dead."

His words sounded ten times worse than Lily's. Her immediate reaction was to flinch as James's grip tightened and he forced her to meet his eyes.

" He's dead Lily," James explained. Lily nodded and her eyes weren't even brimming with tears.

" We're alive- we didn't die," Lily answered. Her hands trailed up and down his and James's grip on her shoulders loosened.

" It feels like I'm dead- I think I died down there and I'm a ghost."

Lily's lips twitched and she leaned forward. The light caught the soft curve to her nose as she pressed her lips on James's salty cheeks. Leaning back, Lily met his gaze serenely.

" You're not a ghost- you're alive," Lily insisted. Her left hand caught his shoulder and her eyes fluttered shut. " I know it hurts James- but the sun's going to rise tomorrow whether he's alive or not."

Trapped in his own storm of misery, James could barely understand why Lily wasn't crying. She should be upset right now- Marlene McKinnon went into a catatonic state that not even Michael couldn't get her out of.

Maybe it was losing so many people. James watched Lily with horror- did she stop feeling the weight of death at some point in her life? Was Lily immune to grief and sadness?

That wasn't humane. His beautiful Lily was broken beyond the tests of mental means. She didn't look broken at all. Lily seemed to shine. But the sky was empty as far as James knew. They were in the dark.

" I lost too much."

James didn't know if he had the right to say that to Lily. She'd lost ten times the people and family he did. But maybe it got easier every single time. Lily still living was a testament to that. So James just hoped that one day the pain in his chest wouldn't be so bad anymore.

" I'll never leave again," Lily promised. Her hand found James's cheek and she cradled his face as she brushed his hair back.

" I promise, I'm not going to leave James."

Her lips found his jaw and hovered over the skin before pressing down.

" I love you and we're going to be alright."

They couldn't have a fairytale happily ever after. Maybe if Lily grew up in England they would have had the time to become a legendary love story. Maybe if she really were muggleborn they'd have that chance. But Lily was Lily and he was James.

They were going to try though. Even with all of the blood staining their sky, they were going to try and make the stars bright again.

Even then, there was a growing pulsating fear in James's chest. He couldn't identify it but maybe Lily could help him.

They were together and had each other's light.

" I love you."

* * *

June 2 1977

For a group that was a majority, seventeen-year-old boys, they managed to set up a pretty decent rebel camp.

Lily sat in between Marlene and James at the table they'd set up as the war room, nicknamed by Michael. One of James and Sirius's mirrors sat on the table along with a list of every death eater they could confirm was in the castle.

Jason stood at a large black board with Sirius. There was a stick of chalk in his hand as they argued about something. Lily eyed the names on the board with slight interest, identifying certain Order members.

" What are they doing?" she asked Marlene. Marlene glanced up from a set of notes Remus had scrawled about the known students involved with Voldemort. Her eyes sought the board and relaxed.

" Finding recruits. We're going in teams to corner people and see if they're interested in fighting," Marlene explained.

" So that's where Jason and Michael went to."

" They took the map and Potter's cloak and went to Gryffindor," Marlene answered. " Michael wanted to talk to the twins and Emmeline."

There was something bitter to Marlene's last statement and Lily quirked her lips at this. Marlene rubbed her eyes and sighed.

" Have you spoken to Jason yet?"

Lily bit her lip and looked up to her brother. He interrupted her and James on her verge of a fight but left right after telling them that an elf brought breakfast. He hadn't spoken to her and all Lily wanted to do was run into his arms and tell him she was done leaving him.

After James filled her in the previous night about the situation at Hogwarts, Lily couldn't help but feel guilty for the unrest in her heart. She spent five months fighting to come back and now the war was on its ending moments.

From the looks of it they were going to lose, but with these seven people Lily knew that a stand was going to be taken.

Marlene and James joined Sirius and Jason in a conversation about whether they should attempt to contact Professor McGonagall to see if she was in contact with the Order, leaving Lily to look around the room.

When James brought her in, she'd been weak and too tired to study the room. After eating and sleeping for a complete night, Lily was aware enough to know the room. Somewhere in this room was her mother's journal. A journal that excluded Marcus's existence completely…

While the others were busy, Lily rose and mumbled an excuse about needing to use the loo. She walked through towering masses of objects and piled junk. She didn't know how to feel about all of this.

James had changed. He was leading them and they were going to fight. They'd make a stand. Somehow having James on the good side changed everything. It made Lily able to look him in the eye and love him.

Even with the changes he'd gone through, she couldn't help but feel guilty. He killed so many people. He killed her brother for Merlin's sake. And Lily couldn't choose to love him. Loving James was simply a piece of her soul.

Lily walked past a large foreboding wardrobe and turned a corner. The walls were barely visible anymore due to the towers of objects. Every few seconds, a book or a shirt would fall from the top only to start a new one.

Lily wondered how all of these items came here. Had Hogwarts students been throwing their problems in here for centuries?

Stepping past a pyramid of open drawers filled with quills, Lily squeezed through a narrow path. She was far enough from their camp that she couldn't hear Sirius's loud voice or Jason's exclamations of protest.

It was colder suddenly. Lily shivered and tugged on the sleeves of the shirt Marlene lent her. The shirt was too long and stretched over her chest while the jeans simply had to be folded several times.

Something made her stop. Lily felt the odd urge that someone was watching her. She turned around and found herself face to face with a tiara. It seemed oddly out of place as most of the objects around it were coated in dust.

There was a blue gem in the middle and an eagle perched over the top elegantly. Something about it called to Lily and she stepped forward. The air was colder and crueler around it.

The silver surface lustered fabulously as Lily reached out for it. Her hand stopped just before her fingers could graze the delicate surface and she eyed the object before shivering again.

_Don't touch it._

Lily frowned at the soft female voice in her head and wondered if she'd gone mad finally. She drew her hand back and heard a soft laugh in her mind.

_Some of your more headstrong housemates would have touched it. It's a shame you weren't a Ravenclaw._

Lily stumbled back and cursed. The chills and draw the tiara sent to her were due to a spell. Maybe it was once a normal diadem but now there was something sinister around it.

The voice in her mind didn't seem sinister. It seemed intelligent and almost motherly. Lily thanked whatever it was that prevented her from touching the diadem.

Chills wracked her body and Lily looked down to see a cloak on the ground she'd previously stood on. Frowning, she reached for the fabric and pulled it up to her eyes.

Her mind seemed ten times clearer and her movements were elegant as she ran a hand along the black seamed side. It was an old Hogwarts robe with the Slytherin crest on the left side. Suspicious, Lily reached inside to see if there was a name on it but stopped when warm air brushed the back of her neck.

There was a shift in the air that wasn't coming from the diadem. Dropping the cloak, Lily turned and eyed the area around her with curiosity. Hidden behind two loping pillars of desks and chairs was a door. A worn ladder leaned up to it and Lily found herself stepping towards it.

Her sock-clad feet tested the first rung and Lily was surprised to see that the ladder could easily support her weight. It seemed on the verge of breaking. She slipped her hands to a higher rung and pulled herself up against the itchy material.

Her body was wrecked. When Lily finally reached the top of the ladder and reached for the knob of the door, her cheeks were stained pink and her breaths ragged.

She turned the knob and ignored the creaking noises from the door as her body pushed it back. Lily raised herself further and could see a dark tunnel. But there was a dim light towards the back.

Something was off to the tunnel. Stepping up into it, Lily felt the odd urge that the distance was longer than the tunnel looked. It was enchanted.

The air of it was warm and muggy. Lily found herself scraping her hair up as she trudged forward. James would be worried soon but she had a strange feeling about this tunnel.

_You're almost there._

Even the voice was egging her on. Lily's steps took on a faster pace and the warm presence in her mind seemed to wane the further she got from the Room of Requirement.

The ground crunched grossly beneath her feet and Lily bit down a shudder, choosing to continue on. As she got closer to the light, it was easy for her to see that the light seemed to come from a pathway a decent size larger than herself.

It felt relieving to be away from Sirius's judging eyes and Marlene's concerned ones. James was trying too hard to make it right and hold her together while Jason seemed set on interacting with her as little as possible.

They worked together in an odd sense of dynamics that fit. Watching the group during the early breakfast they shared, Lily found herself out of the loop. It was expected; she'd broken most of their trusts.

Yet she couldn't help but gawk when Jason and Michael joked around while Marlene toyed with Sirius's hair. She couldn't help but avoid James's motherly presence in exchange to watch Remus get more and more agitated.

They changed, all of them did. So had she. Never in her life would Lily hurt someone the way she hurt Marcus. But she made it clear to him that their lives were only going to intersect once. They couldn't be family.

She hoped he went back to New York and told Professor Rent how he felt. She hoped that Connor found someone to love as much as he loved New York and forgot about her. The life she left behind was one she'd be fond of but it left scars that would haunt her forever.

When Lily reached the light's source, she was surprised to see it was a small bead of light that seemed to reflect off the sides of the tunnel. She pressed her hands to either sides of the wall and frowned. The material didn't feel like a wall, it fell oddly like a sheet and warm air was coming from all sides of it.

Using a little body weight, Lily leaned forward and pushed against the fabric. She stumbled forward as it whirled back and caught herself on a table.

Lily caught her breath and felt a wand at her throat when she looked up. Her hands were tight around the edge of a table and in front of her sat a group of people she hadn't seen in months.

At her throat was the wand of Kingsley Shacklebolt. And behind it was his tense form.

" Kingsley?"

His wand dug into her throat and he met her eyes coolly.

" Last year when I was helping out with your Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson what was the form of my Patronus?"

" Err a leopard or some big cat?"

Kingsley dropped his wand and his eyes relaxed slightly. Lily stood completely and looked around the dimly lit room to see members of the Order of the Phoenix populating the area.

Dirk Creswell's brown eyes pulled up as he met her gaze with a dip of his hat and David Chang's lips pulled down in surprise.

" Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

Lily turned to the voice and met Alastor Moody's hard gaze. His fake eyes whirled around as it studied her gaunt form.

" Does it look like I'm dead?" Lily demanded. Moody's lips pulled up into an amused smile. Lily sighed, blaming her tiredness and spoke. " I had some stuff to take care of abroad and didn't want Michael following me."

" Michael Wood?"

Lily nodded to a pixie-faced witch whose lips pulled up slightly.

" Oi Mead he's five years your junior," an auror called. The witch, Mead, smirked and took a sip of her drink.

" He's the same age as Cas would have been," the witch answered. " Completely and utterly of age."

" Dorcas Meadows' older sister, Lorelei Meadows," Kingsley whispered. Lily kept her face blank as she faced Moody with a challenging stare.

" It's Gastor now."

He merely raised an eyebrow and turned to a man who was speaking with Septimus Weasley.

" Get Gastor-" Moody shot her a grin. " Here a pint of your finest whiskey- she's come back from the dead you know…"

Kingsley moved to shut the door to Lily's entrance and she was met with a portrait of a girl. Before she could question the situation, Moody started speaking.

" I nearly forgot about this passage Aberforth," he called to the man. The man limped to them and Lily's mouth fell when she saw his face emerge from the shadows.

He caught her expression and cursed.

" One of Dumbledore's brats I suppose," he noted. Lily shut her mouth and he chuckled.

" Name's Aberforth- your old Headmaster's my brother," he explained handing Lily the mug. She accepted it and Kingsley moved to face the group of twenty or so wizards and witches.

She caught Emma Vanity's face in an argument with a pair of wizards who'd frequented most Order meetings. Lily could see Hestia Jones and one of the backup Beaters for the Bats sitting together near the bar.

" What's going on here?" she asked Moody. He kicked his legs up and Lily could see a wooden stump in place of his left one.

" Possibly the last Order meeting. Tomorrow morning, Bagnold's going to have to choose whether to surrender or for the death eaters to kill every single muggleborn inside of Hogwarts."

Lily blanched at this statement and the group took on a stoic air.

" If you've noticed, our numbers are at a new low. There's aurors stationed around the dome surrounding Hogwarts but we're at tops fifty or sixty. There was a spy," Moody growled.

" Who?"

" Adam McKinnon according to our source in Hogwarts," a new voice offered. Lily looked to Moody's right to see Caradoc Dearborn and several members of the Hit Wizards.

" That doesn't make any sense- he's been a member for so long," Lily protested.

" The McKinnon family's been on the fence for the entire war. Old Voldie must have threatened someone he loved."

Lily nodded but distress hit her hard. Adam, the boy who gave her a camera and told her how he wanted to see the world, was a death eater. Maybe this was why Marlene's smiles seemed so fake.

" So what are you lot trying to do?"

" Waiting," David Chang offered. His face was gaunt and he seemed thinner than last year. There was a bit of fear in his eyes and Lily remembered that he had a brother in her year. " For a chance to get inside."

" It seems," a voice from the door, mused. " That you're our Trojan Horse."

Lily smiled as Alex Moody and Eliza Rosier stepped through the low doorway into the room. Trailing after them was a group of five or six wizards and witches she recognized from the French Aurors.

" Thanks for the Patronus," he informed Septimus Weasley. Lily looked to the older man who was smiling slightly and noticed that his Patronus, a prairie dog, was sprinting out the window.

" Alex," she greeted. His eyes twinkled and he wrapped an arm around Eliza's shoulder. He winked at her and Eliza gave Lily a warm smile as Lucretia Sprout walked over to them.

" Spain's not offering much help- they need their aurors on the shores. There's a Dark Wizard making a coastal storm," he informed Lucretia. Lucretia scrawled something down and turned to Moody.

" The aurors from Greece and the States are patrolling the barrier," she told Moody.

Somehow they managed to get help from the rest of the world. Lily's heart tightened at the statement about the States. She couldn't face Marcus.

" How'd you get in?" Lucretia asked. She was Galen's partner. They dueled together and Lily's heart panged horribly.

" There's a tunnel through the Room of Requirement. A group's trying to get the Order assembled from the inside," Lily answered.

" Any success?" Moody questioned.

" They're sending out people in groups of two to the Common Rooms to recruit."

" There's at least fifty death eaters in there, not to mention the forces outside Hogwarts," Caradoc analyzed.

" I think some of them are injured," Lily offered. She tucked a curl of her hair behind her ear and forced down a flush under Moody's gaze.

" They were holding people hostage," Lily revealed. " People much better at dueling than the forces in Hogwarts."

The group was silent, taking in the news. Moody stood and light broke in through the window blinds.

" Chang, Meadows, and Vanity start sending out Patronuses," Moody barked. " Tell everybody who's willing to fight to come to the Hog's Head. We're going tonight- we're going to end this war."

The group broke into whispers and Moody slammed his hand onto the table.

" Anyone heard from Dumbledore?"

Lily glanced to Aberforth and noticed a distasteful expression on his face. When no one spoke Moody nodded and looked around the room.

" Most of you aren't going to live to see the morning," he announced. " But there's kids in there that will live to tell their kids about the bravest wizards and witches in history."

His fake eye spun around the room and he cleared his throat.

" First thing's first. We're going to get all students who aren't of age and willing to fight out of the castle. I'll need two teams- one to lead the Hufflepuffs and Slytherin kids out and another for Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. You'll need to make some portkey and get them away from here. Not the Ministry- get them to King's Cross…"

As Moody directed orders with Kingsley and Caradoc by his sides, more and more people came in through the doors. Lily watched the door waiting to see if Marcus was going to walk in through the worn wood frame.

" What about the barrier?" asked a Greek auror. Moody smiled at this statement.

" That's Voldemort's problem Salaves- he'll need a way in for some of his larger forces," Moody explained. Lily heard someone whisper something about giants and bit down a shiver. " All of our people will come in through here."

Lily looked to the clock and cursed while teams were assembling and Moody planned. It was two hours since she left- James was probably going mad with worry.

" Auror Moody," she said, approaching the table he stood at. He looked up with a curious expression.

" The group I mentioned before," Lily started. " They're probably worried. I told them I went to the loo."

Moody nodded and placed a hand on Lily's small shoulder. He leaned towards her and Lily froze when his mouth was a tad too close to her ear.

" You probably haven't heard but members of the Holy Seven who chose not to side with Voldemort- well their manors were torched last night."

Gastor Manor was gone. The childhood home where Lily grew up in shadows was burned in flames.

A laugh escaped her lips and Moony shot her a concerned look. She wasn't willing to tell him how bloody fabulous it was that her family home went up in flames so instead Lily coughed.

All of her belongings were gone. She had them sent to Gastor Manor and the few things she left in Potter Manor were torched too.

Pain hit her heart when she realized that James's home, the only home he'd known his entire life was gone. Suddenly the feeling of distress faded. Potter Manor wasn't where James's heart was. Hogwarts had his heart. The Marauders had his heart and she had it too. Potter Manor was large and lonely and Lily would hate to live there, let alone grow up there.

" You've done good Evans, no one's going to forget this," Moody reassured, probably thinking that she'd gone into distress. " Take someone with you who can do a Patronus and go back. Tell your group that we'll be coming through the Room of Requirement in a few hours and to get the houses ready to evacuate the younger students."

" I can do a Patronus, "Lily answered. Seeing Moody's skeptical expression, she rolled her eyes and reached for her pocket only to remember that her father's wand had blown into a million splinters during her journey to Hogwarts.

Moody caught her expression and groaned.

" A seventeen year old witch who doesn't have a wand! Constant Vigilance Evans," he scolded.

" It's Gastor," Lily corrected, catching the interest of the men and women around Moody. He simply smiled ruelly and watched her.

" To the world you'll be Lily Gastor, but to me you'll always be Lily Evans, the girl who came back from the dead without even a wand."

Lily's lips twitched at the Epithet.

Moody reached into his pocket and pulled out a wand, handing it to Lily.

" Eleven inches, ash, unicorn horn. It was my dead partner's and I expect it back," he snapped. Lily nodded and took the wand's handle between her fingers.

It felt good to have a wand. She didn't feel so weak anymore.

" Who was your partner?"

Moody's lips twitched and he turned to look at the plans the Order was making.

" Wolfgang Prewitt. Took seven slicing jinxes to the chest during our first year out of the academy."

Lily nodded and raised the wand.

" Expecto Patronum."

When a silver doe shot forth from her wand, Lily knew the first try hadn't been a fluke. Its large eyes met Moody's gaze almost challengingly before it disappeared.

" Good now let's save the world."

* * *

June 11 1977

He'd stumbled into the Godric's Hallow cemetery hours into the night. There was something comforting James supposed to the dim glow of the moon shining on graves.

Walking into the Holy Seven's section of the cemetery, James didn't even feel the urge to speak to his parents. They were his past, and as much as he missed them, they weren't coming back.

Lily was his future. Hogwarts and getting through seventh year without dying were his future.

The late summer night air was warm against his arms and neck. James looked down to the scarred skin of his arm, noting that the healers had done a much better job of fixing it than he had.

Alastor Moody's words wouldn't leave him alone. Every few hours, even in the mug of grief, they came back. They all said things that they wished they could take back in the interrogations. James said things about the Marauders that no one knew.

But Lily told Moody that she hated herself for loving him. She loved him and that's what sixteen-year-old James wanted. But the man he was now wanted to deserve that love.

Lily didn't make him see that the Dark Lord was evil and cruel. She didn't change which side of the war he'd choose. She didn't open his mind or try to change it. Simply, Lily made him want to be a better man.

She loved him unconditionally and while James had no idea why, he did know that he didn't deserve her love one bit. James blackmailed her. James broke Lily's heart. He killed a man she loved. He did so many things wrong.

James wasn't going to try and right the wrongs- he was going to try and allow Lily to stop hating herself.

" I'm going to make you proud," he said reaching a freshly dug grave. Two days after its creation, objects of sorrow and love cluttered the front. James stepped over a muggle book and a single drawing of a star to crouch directly in front of the smooth marble.

He was done crying but a deep sob wracked James's chest. He never got to forgive his brother. He never got to tell him that the wrongs didn't matter as they had a future to fix them. But they didn't have that future.

He didn't know what would happen to the Marauders. When Jason betrayed all of them, he drove a sword into their brotherhood. Over the months, the wound didn't heal. It kept getting picked at and eventually it felt as though the wound had gotten infected.

With this death, James felt oddly as though someone had laid a Phoenix tear to it. They had seven years of a friendship that he'd never forget. And while the wound would heal, there was going to be a scar, reminding him of the choices and mistakes he made as a child and adult.

Sitting there in front of the grave, James reached to his right shoulder and pressed his index finger against the patch of the Marauder's tattoo that would never move again.

He was going to do right. He'd apply to the auror department and be the best Quidditch Captain Hogwarts had seen in a decade. He'd get Lily to open up to him and make things right between them. He'd grow up.

Making this decision, James Potter stood and leaned forward. He pressed his hand to the grave marker and shut his eyes.

" I forgive you."

He didn't forgive this brother because he was dead. No James forgave him because in his last moments of life both of them let go of childish fights and accepted the journey to the kingdom of adulthood.

James was ready to start the journey but his friend would never get to.

" Mischief Managed."

And with those last words, James Potter stood and walked away from the cemetery deciding to never enter it again until his dying day.

* * *

**One more chapter to go! Thanks for all the reviews and messages.**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	31. The Courage of Stars

**The Courage of Stars**

**(Just Give Me a Reason)**

* * *

The clock starts ticking on a young man's life the moment he chooses to abandon his family and to be a lion. The only question of the matter was whether a lion of a snake would die or whether a lion pretending to be a snake would die.

The clock kept ticking and the sound brought a gruesome smile to death's face for he was going to have a star like no other in his arms before dawn.

The clock is ticking…

* * *

The proud and bright air Lily acquired from the Order meeting faded the second Lily placed her foot down in the Room of Requirement. Walking back to camp, Lily paused as she heard unfamiliar voices. Her mind was racing with the conversation with the Order and she longed to share the plans Moody told her with the other members of their little group.

" Mum and dad will disown you," a drawled voice declared.

Lily frowned and stopped at the edge of a book pile. She peered around it and saw that their little group had expanded. But Lily doubted Mulciber and Dolohov were interested in saving the muggleborns.

Looking closer, she could see that the death eaters present outnumbered her friends two to one. At least one had a wand aimed at each of them and Marlene looked on the verge of tears as Regulus Black's wand dug into Sirius's neck.

Lily sucked in a breath when Michael met her gaze and his eyes took on an urgent tone. They screamed for her to run but Lily lifted the wand Moody gave her from her pocket. Michael still looked upset as she came closer.

" The Dark Lord will be so pleased that we found you lot- it's a good thing you had the idea to follow Sirius, Peter," Wilkes declared.

Lily quirked her head at the pudgy short man looking around with beady eyes. She recognized him from Order meetings. He and Severus Snape were spies. But it looked like the Order had a double agent on its hands…

" What's this?" Steven Flint asked. Lily hadn't seen him in a year, but that year had done well to change his old short acne-ridden form. He wasn't as tall as James or Sirius, but managed to have a significant deal of height over Marlene. He held the Marauders' Map in his hand and frowned as he looked at it.

" It's Remus's notes- you know our Moony can't even go a bloody rebellion without studying for exams," James answered with a wicked smile. Flint grunted and dropped the paper as he glanced at the door.

" Who's going to get Carrow?"

" Crabbe went a few minutes back," Dolohov answered. Lily stepped forward and had her wand aimed directly at Flint, who seemed like the biggest threat in the room.

Her eyes were glued to the group and she could feel Sirius glancing in her direction. Lily met his eyes and his lips twitched as she took another step forward.

" Only a matter of time Reg," Sirius announced. " Everybody knows that Orion Black can hardly even look at me."

" Obviously- you're so bloody obsessed with Marlene McKinnon," Regulus answered. His attention turned to Marlene and a low smirk came to his features.

" I don't blame you," Regulus admitted. Lily narrowed her eyes as she watched him trail a hand along Marlene's arm. " She's rather fit."

" Get your hand off her," Sirius growled. He tried moving forward, but Wilkes aimed his wand to Sirius's throat.

" One move Black and I'll blow you to bits," he threatened. Lily raised a brow wondering if Wilkes was even capable of a levitating charm.

She stepped forward, only a few steps behind Jason, when a wand was pressed into her neck. Somehow a seventh year Slytherin who Lily vaguely identified as Lars Macmillan snuck up on her.

" Look who's joined the party- mudblood Evans," Macmillan stated loudly. The death eaters in the room turned and Lily could see rage in James's eyes as he caught her form.

" Let her go," he hissed. Macmillan grabbed Lily's wand and threw it to the ground before dragging her towards the group. She struggled against him and he tossed her to the ground.

" You're his prodigy Potter," Flint accused. " And you're throwing away everything for a mudblood."

Lily groaned and looked across the floor. She could see the legs of the table but one was missing a bottom. Sucking in a breath, she realized that James's invisibility cloak was dangling from the wood table.

" You were supposed to be the best," Mulciber accused to Jason. Lily inched forward as he whirled onto her brother. " You and Potter. But look at you- when real trouble comes you run."

Lily's fingers grazed the fabric of the cloak and she tugged it off the table.

" We are running- we're fighting," Jason retorted. Lily met his eyes as she threw the cloak to Remus, the least guarded member of the group. Remus whipped it on and shouts broke out as an invisible force slammed death eaters down.

Lily shot up and ducked as a curse flew her way. She grabbed a wand from the table and turned.

" Expelliarmus," she shouted. Dolohov flew back from Marlene and crashed into a pile of desks. Lily dove for another wand and a spell skimmed her skin. Ignoring the growing numbness in her side, she threw it to Michael.

Looking up, Lily could see that Jason and James had taken to muggle moves. Biting down a wince, Lily watched as James's fist slammed into Flint's gut.

She could feel someone watching her and whirled around to see Regulus Black and Peter Pettigrew standing with wands raised. Pettigrew's beady eyes were narrowed but his hand shook around the hilt of his wand.

" Mudbloods like you need to be taught to submit," Regulus hissed. Lily narrowed her eyes before sending a silent stunning spell their way. Regulus ducked while Peter flew back into a pile of chairs.

" Don't say that word."

Lily scanned the room to see James and Sirius dueling a pair of death eaters each while Marlene and Remus took on three together. Jason had his back against Michael's as they dueled incoming death eaters.

" Sectumseptra!" Regulus shouted. A spell whirled out of his wand in Marlene's direction.

" Marlene get down," Lily ordered. But Marlene, distracted by Wilkes, didn't hear her command. Lily sprinted forward with her wand raised to do a shield charm when a single green flame shot forward. She was jerked to a halting stop as the spell hit the fire and exploded.

Turning, Lily met a pair of grassy green eyes that filled her stomach with dread. Marcus Clarke's face took on a cold tone as he observed her.

"Moody thought you might need some backup," he explained. His hand was filled with a fistful of fire and Lily watched as he sent another flame forward towards a death eaters.

" Didn't think you'd show up here," Lily grunted as she shot a quick shield charm around them. Marcus glanced her way before raising his wand lazily towards Wilkes.

" It's not your war- it's the world's."

Lily shot him a glare before assessing the room. The death eaters were either stunned or disarmed. Sirius and Remus were levitating their forms from fallen piles of objects while James checked a cut on Michael's arm.

" Who's this?"

Jason was limping towards them, sporting a split lip and a curious gaze. Panic surged in Lily's chest as Marcus eyed her brother coldly. He caught her eye and something flashed in his eyes as he reassessed Jason.

" An auror from the states," Lily answered.

" I worked with Bishop- came over with him on Wednesday," Marcus clarified. His eyes trailed over Jason's figure carefully and Jason frowned at Marcus's intense gaze.

" Are more Order members coming?"

" They're sending teams to wait in here to help with evacuations," Marcus offered. " But other than me there's no one else terribly interested in being bait."

Jason's eyes narrowed and Lily coughed. This entire interaction was beyond awkward and she knew that the other members of their little group were glancing in their direction.

" He doesn't look much like you," Marcus stated to Lily. She flushed as Jason crossed his arms with a glare.

" What's that supposed to mean?"

Marcus's lip pulled up into an innocent smile and he shrugged. But there was something bitter and guarded to his gaze. Lily vaguely remembered what she did to him. He wanted to help her and she tried to keep him out of this war only for Marcus to find his way into it.

" Jason takes after our dad," Lily said coolly. Marcus nodded and glanced towards the rest of the group.

" So where's the infamous James Potter?" he questioned. His eyes glinted with cold amusement and his stance eased up. Lily knew they looked too similar. Between the copper glints in his hair and the similar bone structure, Marcus managed to look more like her brother than Jason could ever.

" We don't really have time for introductions," Lily snapped. She glanced to Jason's perturbed face and sighed.

" I spent some time in the states- Marcus well he-"

" I arrested her," Marcus explained. His eyes were still icy but his lips twitched slightly. " She was confunding the muggles."

Jason's face broke into an even more comical expression and Lily couldn't keep the flush off her face. She narrowed her eyes at Marcus and jutted her head at the door.

" We don't really have time for a stroll down memory lane."

" Right," Marcus answered. Glancing around the room, his expression grew worried at the small team they'd assembled.

" Moody was right to send me- you lot could barely handle a group of kids."

" They ambushed us," Jason clarified. " Saw two members of our group and followed them in here."

" Sloppy work," Marcus answered. Lily sighed and met Marlene's gaze. She gestured for them to join her group.

Marcus's eyes trailed quickly over each person's figure only pausing at James's for a split second extra. He glanced back at Lily and she averted his eyes.

" Right then. Moody's sending in evacuation teams in about an hour," Marcus started. " The best plan would be to drive the death eaters out first and then evacuate but that's not going to happen. You'll need a distraction."

" We're spread thin as it is," Michael stated. Marcus's eyes glimmered with amusement at the statement and he caught James's gaze. Lily watched the exchange and prayed to Circe that James wouldn't realize that she and Marcus had the same almost shape to their eyes.

" If you know the right tricks then you won't need numbers," Marcus replied. He walked over to the black board and gestured for James to join him.

" What's your name?"

" James Potter."

Marcus nodded and there was a cat-like look of satisfaction to his gaze as he wiped the board clean and picked up a piece of chalk.

" Well James," he started. " The most practical way to going about this would be to pair off and tackle each common room in teams of two."

" But-"

" There's always a but isn't there," Marcus drawled. " It'll be too much chaos having 300 hundred or so kids running through the halls. I'd suggest subduing the death eaters first but the Order's already low on numbers and people won't arrive until it's too late."

" So we'll need more numbers," James assessed. Marcus nodded and glanced at Lily with a smug look.

" Students of age who are willing to help," Michael offered.  
" We'll need more numbers and more experienced people," Marcus countered.

The presence of the American Auror seemed to reignite the fire that Lily witnessed in the group hours before. Ideas bounced off people in an almost graceful manner.

" The teachers would help," Remus stated. Marcus scrawled professors onto the board.

" House elves," Sirius added. Catching the incredulous gaze of the group he rolled his eyes and scoffed. " There's at least 300 in here and they'll do anything to help the students. Besides the elves have got some wicked magic."

Marcus nodded and added house elves to the growing list.

" What about the ghosts?" Lily suggested. She caught Michael's gaze with a knowing stare. They spent a good deal of patrols in October avoiding Peeves. Jason seemed to agree with her statement and cracked a smile.

" Imagine letting Peeves loose on Lestrange," he added. James tacked the name to the board and they started planning.

" Doesn't the Hall lock from the outside?" Marlene asked.

" Filch has the keys," James answered. " Maybe we can stop by his office and nick them…"

" So we're going to corral the death eaters into the Great Hall?"

" It's the safest thing we've got," James explained. " It'll take a while for them to get out, by then we'll get the younger students out."

Marcus was assessing the Marauder's Map with interest when the group broke into conversation about possible distractions. Hearing one of Sirius's wilder suggestions he looked up with a determined expression.

"Lily and I will handle that."

Lily coughed and met his gaze firmly. " I think you'll have to do that alone."

She could tell from the slight vexation in his eyes that Marcus had already taken this possibility into account.

" Right," he muttered. " Every student is required to attend meals right?"  
" Yes," Marlene said with distaste. " They go over the list of purebloods who still haven't sworn their allegiance to Voldemort every night looking for switches."

Lily frowned at this statement and noticed a certain air of tension to Marlene's gaze. She was staring at Sirius with subtle disgust.

" That's when we'll act," James decided. He ran a hand through his hair and Lily felt her heart relax at the motion. Some things stuck and the familiar things about her friends brought her some comfort.

" Isn't that risky?" Remus asked. " I mean there's going to be kids in the hall."  
" All plans have their risks," Lily countered. " We're going to have to take risks either way but this way will ensure that there won't be stray death eaters running around."  
The group set into motion quickly. Sirius and Jason worked on changing the room to bring the tunnel to Hogsmeade closer and clear their makeshift camp. James and Marcus were discussing what to do with students aligned with Voldemort while Remus and Jason set to work on collecting belongings.

Marlene, well she was pulling Lily's hair into a tight ponytail to keep stray curls from her face.

" I think the old look was easier to deal with," Marlene noted while she tugged at a stubborn kink. Lily looked up from the shirt she was transfiguring with a shrug.

" I'm going natural," Lily answered. She frowned at the too long sleeves and dragged her wand over the fabric.

" It's fitting," Marlene offered. " You look more like yourself- more mature."

Lily smiled up at her friend. Even with the clear tension that Jason and Michael showed her, Marlene seemed to forgive her.

" How are you doing?"

" My brother's a death eater Lils."

" Guess what?"

Marlene caught Lily's wry expression with a raised brow of interest.

" So is mine."

A bitter laugh broke out of Marlene's lips and Lily smiled tiredly.

" There," Marlene said finishing the ponytail. Lily rose and Marlene frowned at the shirt she'd transfigured.

" McGonagall would be disappointed," Marlene tsked. She quickly redid Lily's sloppy work and passed her the fabric. Lily slipped it over her head and pulled the ill fitted shirt she'd worn all day off.

" Thanks."

Marlene looked to the group and took on a gaze of sorrow.

" He's not going to let me fight," Marlene sighed.

" Don't be his damsel Marls," Lily answered. She refolded her jeans and met Marlene's gaze firmly.

" It's not like I have a choice," Marlene retorted.

" We always have a choice- you just have to find the loophole."

" Oi you two ready?"

Lily looked to Michael questioning stare and nodded. She pulled Marlene's Gryffindor cloak over her shoulders and pocketed her wand. This plan was crazy but it was worth it.

" I'll see you on the battlefield," Lily declared, knowing that Marlene would find her way onto it one way or another.

She walked over to their group and noticed that Marcus held the invisibility cloak in his hands. The rest of them wore Hogwarts cloaks. Lily watched as James handed Remus one of his and Sirius's mirrors.

" Whatever happens," he said. " Stick with her."

Remus glanced in her direction and Lily's mouth fell when she realized that she wouldn't be dueling with Michael today. Jason had taken her dueling partner.

" Let's go," Sirius said gruffly. He looked at Marlene one final time. " Dinner starts soon."

Lily's throat felt swollen as she followed the group of seven towards the doors. She had the oddest feeling that this was the last time they'd stand together united.

* * *

The Great Hall's ceiling was filled with a stormy sky. James supposed it reflected the mood of the students marching in by house. He looked to the Gryffindors and could see Michael and Jason with ducked heads towards the middle.

Remus stood on the aisle of the Hufflepuffs that was adjacent to the Ravenclaws. James's heart pinched when he saw the folded denim of Lily's jeans only across from Remus.

A Slytherin fifth year shoved past him and Sirius shot him a warning look. James forced his steps to match the other students around him. As the sounds of footsteps grew quiet, he dared a peak towards the front.

Death Eaters lined the area where the Professors table once sat. More stood around the hall in a perimeter and the teachers were at the back. James's lips twitched as he caught Professor McGonagall glaring at Alaric Carrow. It was the luckiest thing they had. With the teachers near the doors, for which reason James had no idea, they stood a chance at getting this plan to work.

" The elves are waiting to swoop in," Sirius muttered. James nodded and the hair on the back of his neck prickled as the sound of concise footsteps echoed through the hall.

He looked up to see the bruised faces of Rodolphus Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy at the front of the room. Anger rippled under the gaunt surface of their faces.

" It seems that two of our prisoners have managed to escape. Along with that, several students have gone missing," Lestrange, hissed. His eyes scanned the crowd and James ducked his head averting Lestrange's gaze.

" Although the castle was on lockdown yesterday, there were certain incidents in the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff quarters that give us reason to believe that some students may have knowledge of where any of these traitors are."

Malfoy stepped forward and his eyes narrowed at the Gryffindor group. " Any students with knowledge on the whereabouts of these traitors who refuse to step forward will be treated with the same level of justice as those they conspire with."

The silence seemed even louder if possible as the threat carried to the students' minds. Malfoy's wand was at his side but James could read his stance easily.

" The missing students are as listed, Remus Lupin, Marlene McKinnon, Sirius Black, Michael Wood, and James Potter. Does anyone have anything to say about the whereabouts about these students?"

" Yeah actually."

James looked up with a smirk those in the hall would never forget. He stepped out of the Slytherins into the aisle and basked in the gaping expressions of his classmates and old comrades.

" We're right here."

Even with Malfoy and Lestrange ready to fight, they didn't stand a chance as an invisible presence came up behind them and snap their wands in half. James watched as other death eaters moved, but they were halted as fire erupted around them in a cage.

So that was the distraction Marcus was talking about. James couldn't help but gape as flames rose high around all the death eaters in the hall and Marcus whipped the cloak off.

He looked directly into the Ravenclaws and James's jaw clenched as he watched Lily glare at Marcus. James liked the American Auror but there seemed to be some kind of history between him and Lily.

" Mr. Potter," a voice called breaking him from his thoughts. He turned to see Professor McGonagall walking to him urgently. Her face was gaunt and there were large bags under her eyes as she took in his frame.

" Why are you here?" she demanded.

" Voldemort's given the Ministry an ultimatum," James answered recalling what Lily informed their group. " Surrender to him or the death eaters are going to start killing students."

Professor McGonagall's face collapsed and James looked over her shoulder to see Marcus straining to keep his firewall up.

" Professor the war's ending- and it's happening here," James explained. " We need to get everybody who's not of age and willing to fight to safety."

" And how do you intend to do that Mr. Potter?" Professor McGonagall demanded. " We're barricaded in."

James flashed her an easy grin. " I'm James Potter- I've always got a trick up my sleeve."

" James!"

James turned to see Remus's urgent face and faced Professor McGonagall again.

" We don't have time- Professor can you help get all the students who need to leave to the corridor where the painting of Barnabus the Barmy is teaching trolls to dance? Marlene McKinnon is waiting there and the Order's sending two teams to lead evacuations to King's Cross."

A set expression crossed Professor McGonagall's face as she turned and walked to the front of the room. She faced the crowd and James knew in that instant that Minerva McGonagall's family- no her home was Hogwarts.

" Voldemort is coming."

" Minerva," Professor Slughorn said in a warning voice.

" It's a name Horace- nothing to fear."

Whispers broke out across the hall and the noise began to grow.

" We do not have time for idle talk," Professor McGonagall called. " I need all students out of the Great Hall immediately. Prefects and Heads will lead houses out."

They were silent. No student dared to move.

" Gryffindor House let's move."

Standing only mere feet in front of James was Emmeline. There was a determined cast to her expression as she directed students forward. Her ice eyes met his as she walked students down the aisle from the room.

Taking after Emmeline's lead, Amelia Bones led Hufflepuff and Davy Gudgeon followed with the Ravenclaws.

" How much longer can you last?"

Marcus looked up to meet James's eyes. There was a grimace on his face and he looked ready to collapse.

" Maybe you lot should hurry up."

James nodded and watched as the Great Hall started to empty. The Professors trailed after the houses and members of Team Good followed after. He could see Remus pulling Lily out of the Great Hall as she watched him and Marcus.

" They're almost out," he muttered.

" Get out Potter," Marcus hissed. His legs wobbled and he looked up with a desperate gaze. James could see the walls of flames starting to collapse.

" I've got you," James answered. He reached for Marcus and dragged the auror back. James cursed as a spell flew out from the front of the hall and sped up.

" We're not going to make it," Marcus choked. James sped up, but there was only so much he could do.

" Yes we are," James answered. He ducked a spell and pulled forward. The open doors to the hall were closing and he pulled out his wand before leaping forward.

James tumbled to the ground and Marcus landed besides him right as Jason and Sirius shut the doors. The sounds of fists and spells hitting it sounded in James's ears as he caught his breath.

" Who has the keys?" Sirius shouted. Remus scrambled forward and shoved them into the door.

" Morning runs paid off."

A set of relieved emerald eyes sat above him and James smiled as Lily helped him up. Her eyes scanned his panting form quickly before she squeezed his hand.

" Alice and Frank are leading the younger students to the Room of Requirement," she stated. The sounds of voices echoed from the second floor down to the first and James scanned the reasonably smaller group.

" A couple of people went to escort students out- McGonagall practically had Fabian and Gideon drag the Slytherins out but they'll be back later."

Lily's face was slightly flushed and James watched as she tugged on the ends of her hair. There was a look of concentration on her face as her eyes darted around the room. They settled to James's side and Lily's lips pursed.

" You almost burned out," she commented. Marcus was rising and his eyes flashed as a stiff expression overtook his face.

" Where is he?"

James frowned and turned to see Selena Kingsmill standing at Jason's throat. Her wand was raised and there was a demanding set to her eyes.

" You need to get out now- Voldemort's coming," Jason answered. Selena's arm shook and her lip quivered slightly.

" Where is Pericles?"

Jason swallowed and Selena stumbled back as he met her eyes. The Entrance Hall was silent. James looked over to Lily and could see an unreadable expression on her face as she watched Jason step forward.

" Selena…"

" No," she choked. " He can't be dead- he can't be."

" I don't know- he got hit so many times- too many times…"

Sirius, of all people, stepped forward and slipped a hand to Selena's shoulder. Lily's eyes flashed and James frowned- since when did Sirius care about Selena Kingsmill?

" I'll take her to him," offered Sirius.

" He's not dead," Lily whispered. James turned and could see her looking down at her hand. A too large ring was situated on her finger and she looked up to meet his gaze. " At least not yet."

" Get Pericles to Mungos," James said as he faced Selena. She was shaking and he knew of all people she had a right. She lost everything and if anything Selena Kingsmill wasn't ready to raise a sword of courage.

People like himself and Sirius trained for this moment. They were exposed to tragedy since the very day of their birth and would see it until they died. Selena Kingsmill, she was just learning about tragedy.

Selena's sea-blue eyes darted to Lily and widened. James had no idea what emotions were running through Lily's eyes- there were shields guarding those emerald orbs.

" I'm sorry- I'm so sorry."

Lily's eyes flashed and her lips curled down.

" Don't come back- don't let Pericles come back either."

Selena nodded and stepped forward, raising her arms. There was a sad look to Lily's eyes as she shook her head and jutted her head to Sirius.

" Go."

Selena Kingsmill left, taking a piece of Lily's childhood with her.

" Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall hissed. James turned and could see a livid expression on his old teacher's face.

" Er-"

" Fill me in on why exactly we're revolting now."

With one final glance at Lily, James turned and joined Professor McGonagall and the other Professors.

* * *

" You okay?"

Lily looked up from where Sirius and Selena had descended into the dungeons. A set of warm brown eyes were filled with slight concern as she pulled her lips up into an uneasy smile. Lily vaguely remembered that Michael's ring gave him the ability to sense that her heart was breaking- it was breaking because Selena was going to take their past and never come back.

" I was going to tell you," she babbled. " I was going to tell you everything but James… Well I got lost in him and it was too late- Michael it was too late."

Michael's eyes hardened and he stepped away from her.

" This isn't the time for this- we'll talk after all this."

" I'm sorry."

Michael shook his head and glanced to the staircase where students willing to fight were returning. Lily could see their friends descending the stairs together and Michael jutted his head to them.

" What you've done this time… It's too much for me."

" We're not going to be okay are we?"

Michael sighed and looked around the Entrance Hall. Students were returning from escorting younger students to the Room of Requirement. Lily could see Emmeline, but Emmeline's eyes were focused on someone else entirely.

" I've got a new family Lily- one that hasn't broken my heart over and over again. James will give you that… I hope so at least," concluded Michael.

Lily nodded and watched as Emmeline sprinted down the stairs, shoving past people. She felt so numb. The initial euphoria of returning vanished as Lily realized that the world hadn't paused for her.

While she was gone, it kept spinning and everything changed.  
" Ems."

" You stupid prat," Emmeline exclaimed as she threw her arms around Jason's shoulders. Envy grew in Lily's stomach as she watched her brother wrap his arms around Emmeline's graceful form and pull her into the air.

" They're my friends… They're my family," Michael explained. The air of the hall changed. People were witnessing hope, hope like no other. If Jason Gastor could find someone to love then there was something to hope for.

" Go to them," Lily replied. " I'll be okay- I've got James and Marls and we're going to be alright."

" Just not together," Michael finished. Lily smiled sadly and reached for his hand. She squeezed it one last time before dropping it.

" Keep him alive- I wouldn't be able to live with myself if Jason died… He's suffered too much for me."

" Right then…"

Michael walked away from her to Emmeline and Jason. Lily looked away, unable to feel the pain of watching their reunion. Her eyes landed on the forms of the remaining Gryffindors, including Marlene.

Lily didn't have time to wonder how Marlene managed to get to the Entrance Hall as Fabian let out a loud gruff laugh.

" Dead my ass," Fabian muttered as he walked forward and enveloped Lily in a tight embrace. A sob of laughter escaped her mouth as she realized that sometimes friendship could handle anything.

" You look like hell," Alice offered as she caught sight of the thick scars on Lily's collarbones.

" I feel like it," Lily admitted. She found herself pausing at the sight of Alice's grown out hair and the new glasses Gideon wore.

" So you went into hiding like other muggleborns?" Frank assumed.

" Err…"

Lily glanced at Marlene and sighed as she tugged on the ends of her curling hair.

" I'm not exactly muggleborn," Lily revealed, leading into the first conversation she had with this group in six months.

* * *

When the Order arrived, Sirius had returned from the Room of Requirement. His trek with Selena, and Pericles' unconscious form brought little rest to the growing fear in his chest.

In a few hours, Voldemort and his entire armada would arrive. Although they managed to subdue fifty death eaters, Sirius doubted that the Order could hold off giants and all sorts of dark creatures.

" Where's Prongs?"

Remus frowned in concentration and Sirius looked up to see that his friend was helping to take down the spell surrounding the castle.

" Moody and Shacklebolt have him in a meeting to plan the battle strategy."

" And you got roped into dome-removal," Sirius assessed.

" Volunteered actually," Remus corrected.

" I made Dora leave- Willow Weasley said that her cousin Arthur would be willing to house her until this blows over."

" Good."

Sirius raised his wand to help Remus and looked around the room, pausing at a single group. The Golden Gryffindors seemed to be having a reunion. Sirius's lower lip curled down when he saw Jason's trio joining them.

" Didn't take them long," he commented. Remus glanced over at the large group of students and shrugged.

" Most of us aren't going to make it out of here alive. Death can bring people together."

Sirius rolled his eyes and gave Remus a grin.

" Forever the sage."

" Well someone's got to keep you and Prongs from blowing up the Great Hall."

" Moony…"

Sirius swallowed and knew that the odds were that he'd die tonight. There were going to be Blacks fighting against him and Blacks didn't take well to traitors. He knew that once they completed removing the spells around Hogwarts, the very essence of the anti-apparition wards would come down, giving Bellatrix and Rodolphus and Regulus the ability to escape the Great Hall.

Adding to that, Sirius knew he'd die for James and Remus. Knowing his friends, they'd be the first to jump at danger.

The odds of him dying were high- very high.

" Don't," Remus cut off. His face was gaunt and control was clear in Remus's eyes. " If you don't say it then it won't happen."

" Better safe than sorry- make sure Marlene finds someone if I… well you know. And Prongs- well if I don't leave this battle, make sure Lily doesn't ever break his heart again," Sirius declared.

Remus nodded tightly and a sigh slipped out of his thin lips.

" Even if nothing happens out there and we both live, do me a favor and start forgiving people. We're not god- we're going to make mistakes because that's what makes us human."

" So be Prongs," clarified Sirius with an indignant snort. Remus shook his head and Sirius watched as the spell barrier collapsed.

" One day you'll get it. You're going to realize that everybody deserves a second chance… Well except for Voldemort."

Sirius's lips twitched out of their own accord as the pair looked out to the grounds of their school. He could already see the golden cloaks of aurors sweeping towards Hogwarts Castle.

" I'm sorry for making you choose us over what you wanted," Sirius declared. The sky was settling into a horizon that both of them feared.

" And I forgive you."

" Do you forgive all of us?"

Remus shook his head and looked over to the laughing Golden Gryffindors. James had been the one to come up with the name last year. The group that Marlene called her friends, well only one word could describe them; gold.

" I can forgive Jason but not James. Dammit I can forgive Jason for sealing my future and damning a twelve year old girl but I can't forgive Prongs," Remus admitted.

" So you're not really a sage," Sirius concluded. " Its just guilt."

" Right."

" For what?"

Remus frowned and Sirius identified a few aurors as men and women streamed into the Great Hall. He could also identify known members of the Order like Septimus Weasley and the Prewitt parents.

" He's the reason I've got this," Remus explained, showing his dark mark. " He's the one who convinced me to join."

* * *

The sun was settling in the sky. James found himself escaping from the crowds of men and women setting up defenses in the castle. It seemed that the situation in the Great Hall had somehow been attributed to him and most aurors wanted his opinion on their plan of attack.

Luckily, Alastor Moody and Bishop Shacklebolt arrived and started leading the Order. James took the first chance he got to don his invisibility cloak and slip out to the grounds.

The dusk air was brisker than usual. Pulling the hood of the cloak off, James stopped as he reached the Black Lake. Under his worn sneakers was charred earth. The old Beech tree once sat proudly in this exact spot.

It was almost as if the lake expected what was coming. Large waves lapped at the sandy shores, forcing James to stop short of the water. His eyes settled on the waves lapping at the shore before flying up to the sky.

Any minute, death eaters were coming. Unconsciously, James's fingers brushed against his sloppily healed scar and he shuddered. Voldemort was coming and James had betrayed him.

This battle would end with James dying. There was no way to avoid it. Voldemort was stronger than him and all of this would come down to a duel; master against Apprentice. He couldn't win that battle, but James could make a final stance.

He had everything for once in his life; the girl, the family, and a sense of maturity. But all of that would vanish soon enough. He couldn't win this fight.

" I've always been rather fond of dusk."

Not needing to turn, James felt Lily's shoulder brush up against his. He didn't need to see her but in the end Lily was ten times more beautiful than the sunset.

Her skin was clean of a flush and the cream color seemed to glow under the fading light of the sun. There was a determined set to her eyes as she watched the sky. Even with the scars, Lily was beautiful- she always had been.

" All I want is for all of us to make it to dawn," Lily continued. Her brows furrowed down and she turned from the sunset to face James. " I can't lose anyone else."

" We'll be okay," James promised. Instinctively, he reached for Lily's smaller hand and held it between his. All he could think of was the ring under his pillow in his dorm. The ring he'd chosen five months ago that was waiting for the right moment.

" Why did you do it?"

Lily's eyes widened as she swallowed and continued her question. " Why did you change sides?"

Something forced James to avert her gaze and look down at the water lapping at the ground. Shame and guilt were lapping at his heart- they had been since the very first time he killed another person. But James knew deep down inside that he could have kept fighting the two growing forces. He could have been a death eater until the very end.

" I was asleep," James started. " I was asleep for fifteen years until you came into my life and made me wake up. I didn't think I just did what the people I loved wanted. Then you came back and somehow you managed to wake me up. I didn't change Lily- I've always wanted to fight for what's right. I just needed someone to wake me up."

Lily was silent and the red light of the fading sun made her eyes dance. James watched as her lips parted and then shut. Her hand slipped out of his and she tugged on the ends of her curls with a thoughtful expression.

" I hated myself for loving you… I still do," Lily sighed. " But I want to forgive you James- just give me a reason to."

A thousand reasons mustered to James's mind but none of them were willing to reach his mouth. Simply he couldn't help but felt complete and utter sympathy for Lily. He killed a man she loved from choice and a man she was obligated to love. He treated her awfully for a year and ruined whatever bit of childhood she was clinging to.

James had been forced to grow up when he chose to fight for the Order. But Lily, well ever since the day she was banished from England eight years ago, the world seemed set on stealing childhood from her. Every single day she fought to cling to whatever innocence she had left until one day she just gave up.

There was no girl in front of James; there was only a brokenhearted woman. A woman he tormented and plagued for too long.

This time, he let shame and guilt swallow him whole. James could do the right thing, but the right thing was going to hurt Lily and himself. Yet it could save her as well.

The right thing was to let Lily go. He'd done it before thinking that there was no way he could possibly live without Lily but James had found out that he could and so could she. She could be strong and be whole without him.

Lily could be alive.

The reasons flew from James' mind as he opened his mind to say the words that would push Lily so far away that she couldn't afford to love him. But before the declaration, a declaration that would surely ruin James's life could break from his lips a single flare of light flew through the air.

James looked up to see the signal snake of the death eaters in the sky.

" They're here," Lily whispered.

" We need to get to the castle," James insisted.

In his heart, James knew that the only way for Lily to ever be happy again was for him to show her that there was no reason in the world for her to not hate herself for loving him.

* * *

" Your shoelace is untied."

Jason didn't look down to his shoe; instead he looked at Sirius with an open mouth. For the first time in months, Sirius Black didn't look at him with murder in his eyes.

" Thanks."

Bending down, Jason fixed the stubborn lace, only looking up at the sound of a great crash. He frowned but his lips pulled up when he saw the stone soldiers descending from the castle walls to defend it.

" Trust Hogwarts to be able to defend itself," he joked. Sirius's lips twitched slightly and he looked towards the near empty courtyard they stood in. the Order's leaders, Alastor Moody and Bishop Shacklebolt, had split people into groups in order to seal tunnels and destroy the various ways to enter Hogwarts, save for one single bridge.

Torches had been lit, but Jason couldn't see into the darkness of night before the bridge he and Sirius had been assigned to scout. It was the sole standing way to enter Hogwarts, as Professor Flitwick had set to work hours before to restore the anti-apparition wards. They couldn't have death eaters popping up with no previous warning…

" My brother," Sirius muttered. " Was in the Great Hall."

Jason rose and stared into the darkness surrounding the stone bridge. They had opened the Great Hall up moments after Professor Flitwick's team finished the anti-apparition wards to discover that all of the death eaters inside had used the period when the wards were down to leave.

" He might not be there," Jason pointed out. " One of the aurors said something about death eaters storming the Ministry."

Sirius told him this information because he wanted to hear a possibility of Regulus not coming through the bridge they stood in front of. James or Remus, they wouldn't lie but Jason knew entirely what Sirius was going through. It was what he feared in his initial desires to switch sides of the war.

All of Jason's brothers would run at him the way Regulus was inevitably about to run at Sirius.

There was a smile on Sirius's face as he regarded Jason.

" You haven't changed… You're still so hopeful."

Jason's lips twitched up into a returning smile and he shook his head. " Well I've lost everything except for hope- it's all I have left."

" Don't let go of it," Sirius advised. He turned to the bridge and both of them waited to see or hear anything. " I forgive you if it counts for anything."

" Tell me that when an army isn't about to run straight at us," Jason retorted. But there was a golden smile on his face. Remus and James hadn't forgiven him yet, but Sirius had made the first move. Sirius, the most likely of all of them, had been the first to be the bigger man.

" Emmeline Vance- never took you to like older birds," Sirius taunted good-naturedly. Jason shot him a smirk.

" Isn't Marlene a month older than you," he pointed out. Sirius's lips fell slightly at the mentioning of Marlene and Jason frowned.

" Sometimes I wish we could go back," Sirius admitted. " Back to when it was just the four of us against the world… But then we'd still be boys."

" If we make it out of here alive, promise me all of us, all of the Marauders, are going to do some Marauding again soon."

Sirius's lips pulled up into a wicked smile and he spread his arm out to Jason.

" You've got a deal Wormtail."

Ignoring the teasing nickname, Jason shook his hand. There was a single moment when they held each other's gaze knowing that no matter what happened this night they were at peace.

Jason dropped Sirius's hand when both of them heard the same loud war cry come from the darkness.

" They're here," Sirius declared grimly. Jason whipped his wand out ready to send a Patronus to Moody. He was ready for this- Jason had been for years.

The end of the war was here only Jason Gastor was on the side he always imagined fighting against. Fate's funny like that, he concluded…

* * *

They managed to stumble into the Entrance Courtyard right as the battle began. James had a protective arm wrapped around Lily's shoulders as he tugged her forward.

" Find Sirius," Lily ordered. But James had no time to respond as a death eater hit a nearby wall with a spell. Lily's ears screamed as the explosion sent rocks and bits of shrapnel towards them.

" Protego!"

Turning, Lily saw that Marlene had sent a shield charm to protect them. The rocks bounced off and hit the incoming forces. Lily watched as a large Acromantula fell from a wall and into the rocky abyss surrounding the castle.

" Didn't Sirius tell you not to come," James pointed out. Marlene wiped her face and Lily could see a cut staining her arm. But a smirk found its way onto Marlene's perfect face.

" I'm a Gryffindor- we can't stay out of a fight," Marlene retorted. Lily's lips pulled into an uneasy smile and she swallowed as chills settled over them.

" Dementors," James hissed. Lily looked to the sky. Giants were storming down the narrow bridge leading to the courtyard and in the sky around them were black hooded beings.

" Go find Sirius," she ordered. " You're better off with him- Marlene and I'll handle the Dementors."

" You can't do a Patronus," James protested.

" Just go," Lily ordered. " We've got this."

At the sounds of a scream, James unwillingly sprinted into the dead of the battlefield with a gleam in his eyes. And truly James Potter was born to duel. Lily watched as he shot spells out of his wand like an indestructible hurricane.

" You can do a Patronus right?"

Lily raised a brow at Marlene before pointing her wand at the incoming Dementors.

" Expecto Patronum!"

Her silver doe shot out of the tip of Lily's wand and she watched as it sprinted into the sky. The Dementors pressed back and Marlene's large Sheppard dog followed after it, herding the Dementors farther and farther away.

"Impedimenta."

The werewolf sneaking up on Marlene shot back into a wall and Lily grimaced.

Before Marlene had the chance to thank Lily, more death eaters streamed in, separating the pair. Lily was thrown into the battlefield aiming her wand at any of the hooded men and at one point even an Acromantula scaling the courtyard.

She caught sight of Order members and aurors in the battlefield, fighting alongside the ghosts and stone soldiers of Hogwarts. Lily's heart sped up when she spotted James's unruly locks as he dueled a pair of death eaters at once.

" Where's Remus?"

Lily felt someone at her back and met Jason's golden eyes uneasily.

" Helping take down the giant that's demolishing the castle."

Lily had seen a giant tear past the battlefield and swing its club into the thick set windows of the Great Hall earlier. Jason's lip pulled down and he turned to face a pair of vampires.

" And Michael?"

As Jason hit the pair with stunners, Lily managed to throw one of the many inferi back. But the dead being rose; coming back to her. Voldemort's forces heavily outnumbered them. A mix of death eaters and Dark Creatures stained the battlefield cornering Order members and aurors alike.

" There's a whole horde of Acromantula and werewolves coming through the forest near the pitch," Jason said as he sent a hideous green light to a cloaked man. " The Centaurs are helping defend the grounds near it but they're outnumbered so Michael went down there."

A nonverbal spell shot from Lily's wand and lazily hit an incoming inferi. She knew that she could subdue them but only one thing could bring the foul creatures down.

Marcus stood at the other side of the battle near the sides of the abyss. His fire, aimed downward, prevented giants and Acromantula alike from rising up to the battle. Lily knew better than to pettily call for his assistance. She'd have to face these creatures herself.

Her body ached horribly at the thought of what she'd gone through to rid herself of the excess magic coursing through every molecule that created Lily. Yet, there was no other option.

" Incendio," Lily stated. There was a roaring silence before slowly, lush flames sparked from the tip of the wand Lily held. The flames bowed against the wind, only willing to fight to hit their target. Watching bitterly, Lily noticed the larger than normal strength. It must have been a side effect. Like the flower gift, Lily wondered if she were to ever have children, they'd be forced to have a certain affinity with fire.

The flames licked the skin of the inferius, only to engulf the creature, as though delighted by the taste of death and darkness. The scent of burning dead flesh filled the air and smoke plumed to the sky.

Wrinkling her nose, Lily directed the flames over fighting Order members, to the next inferius. Behind her, Jason tackled the task of handling any death eaters to come their way. A silent pact formed between the siblings. They'd work together this battle. All for the sake of saving lives.

As the flames doused nearby fiends, Lily battled the urge for her mind to wander. But it did and her body moved on autopilot, slowly but surely handling the inferi situation.

Hours before, James answered the question that plagued her for months. He'd love her no matter. Perhaps they were destined. But Lily knew better than to believe that fate worked in her favor. In fact it seemed that they were more like star-crossed lovers if anything.

She'd lose herself to love a man who murdered not just her blood, but a man who was adored by herself and the world at large. Lily built morals and standards and breaking them for James would mean losing everything that very well defined her.

Yet she still loved him. Professor Gladstone had told Lily months ago that they didn't get to choose the people they loved. Only now, was Lily realizing the truth of those last words.

She couldn't stop loving James- for as long as Lily would live he'd own a piece of her heart. Without even thinking, Lily knew he would want the whole thing.

The lies she told were nothing compared to the worst thing Lily supposed about herself. She wanted to be the type of person James was; Lily craved to give any choice she made everything in her heart. But she was tested too often by life. She wasn't an all or nothing person as most thought.

Instead, Lily found herself, in the heat of this battle realizing the truth of who she truly was. There was an instinctual need in her to not trust. It sat in her soul since perhaps the very day Lily came into the world.

Perhaps it was a survival instinct. As fate had cursed Lily to lose those she loved, it appeared that she could not afford to give them more than a sliver of her heart. To each, she gave only a miniscule piece of her soul, so that if they decided to break her heart, it would not destroy her whole.

Simply, how is it possible for so many people to break one's hearts? A sickening sensation came to Lily's gut as she dodged a green flash of light streaming through the battle.

James would want it all. For a year, Lily struggled to pry the broken pieces from dead hands or untrustworthy ones. It took a year to become this whole, even if there was little keeping her heart from breaking over and over again.

James Potter was a man to want everything or nothing. He either lived or died. He'd fly or refuse to move. He'd laugh so powerfully that Lily felt the great peals vibrate her skin or settle on pulling his lips into a look of bored contempt. And love was subjected to this treatment.

He had given her his heart and Lily broke it. After his sweet dulcet words that dusk, Lily knew that his heart was in her hands. But hers wasn't in his. He'd ask for it- beg perhaps and Lily knew she'd return his heart before giving him hers.

" Lily!"

Pain lanced in Lily's arm and she dropped her wand in agony, clutching the limb to her chest. A set of arms caught her before she could fall to the ground of the battlefield. To Lily's surprise, it was Eliza Rosier of all people dragging her from the fray.

" Where's Jason?" she demanded in a raspy voice. Looking down, Lily could see a thoroughly horribly trail of blood following after them.

" I haven't seen him in over half an hour," Eliza replied. " He asked me and Alex to look after you while he went to Astronomy Tower- there's Dementors coming in…"

Lily, unable to stifle a moan of pain, forced her eyes to find the thin form of her left arm. Blood leaked out of the cloth at the top of her borrowed shirt.

Bitterly, Lily thought that she wouldn't be returning this shirt to Marlene as Eliza pushed her behind a column and ripped the shirt clean open.

" I thought you ran a flower shop," Lily commented. Those angelic blue eyes twinkled with amusement. It came to Lily's mind that in another lifetime Eliza and her would be sisters. Maybe they'd braid each other's hair and discuss the scandals of love.

" If I didn't pick up a few tricks Alex would have bled out on the carpet of our cottage months ago."

Lily hissed as Eliza mended the cut on her arm and felt her gaze on Lily's scarred collarbones.

" I felt awfully foolish when Alex explained it to me… Seven years visiting your home and I didn't bother to look closer."

" Dumbledore and my dad used a good set of obliviation and confundus charms," Lily answered as though it could be reason for Eliza's qualms.

" I suppose that's true for people who've barely known you," Eliza admitted with a wry smile. A dark look filled her eyes as she mended Lily's shirt and glanced back at the battle. Spells flew overhead and Lily knew it was only luck that the column hadn't been hit yet.

" You Gastors were always a courageous bunch."

" Down to the bone."

And some part of Lily knew there was truth to it. Strangely enough, some of Voldemort's best had the traits of Gryffindors. Only in the case of Lily's family, most hadn't had the chance to choose a path for themselves.

Eliza's smile took a wistful note and she squeezed Lily's arm.

" Either way this war ends you'll be ruined. If the Order prevails here, then the interrogations will surely reveal your family's involvement with Voldemort. And if Voldemort, Merlin forbid, wins then Jason will be in too much trouble to look after you."

" I can handle whatever happens myself," Lily replied. Eliza's eyes twinkled, strongly reminding her of the glow that only few of her brother's managed to acquire in their eyes.

" I do hope so, let's get this war over first."

With that note, Eliza Rosier handed Lily the wand she had dropped and raised her own before plunging into the battle. Perhaps there was a Gryffindor lurking in every soul, especially ones as vivacious as Eliza's. As Lily turned from the column, she caught her first glimpse of James since he'd left to defend the frontlines.

A substantial group of the Order had been quite wary of James switch in battle sides. Lily noticed, dryly, that this had changed the second battle erupted. Flanking James were Gideon Prewitt and the older, Caradoc Dearborn.

A mess of spells burst from their wands as they took on an entire legion of wizards and witches. Looking closer, Lily could see simple stunning spells being thrown to the legion.

With a frown, Lily studied the legion of Voldemort's troops. Finally noticing the blank glaze over their eyes, Lily realized that they'd been imperiused. A wall near her collapsed, breaking the trance-like state she'd taken to observing James.

Overhead, graduate Gwen Jones led an aerial attack force to combat the large giant clambering over the castle. Lily ducked a stray spell as Hestia's boyfriend, a beater for the Bats, hit one of the giants with a stunning spell.

" Be careful."

Remus's long arms pulled her aside and Lily shot him a gaze of gratitude before going against his back. As they dueled, back-to-back, Lily supposed that James had reason to wanting her to be with Remus.

" Reducto!"

Her spell hit an Acromantula and with sharp distaste, the beast exploded coating those nearby in slimly black blood. Lily's nose pulled up as black ichor splattered on her shirt in an ungodly manner.

" Was that necessary," Remus grumbled. Lily glanced behind her back to see Remus spitting the black liquid from his mouth. An uneasy smile graced her face and she turned to battle once again.

As Lily dueled, she witnessed events that could only come from the finale of this war. Professor McGonagall and a tall looking ministry man dueled the Lestrange couple while Lily saw Sirius's form rippling in and out of existence due to the assistance of the invisibility cloak.

The strangest perhaps, was the position Emmeline had taken. Lily could hear the fierce roar of a dragon echo through the battle and knew that Emmeline was riding a Welsh Green. Where she got the beast, Lily had no idea.

Adrenaline kept the exhaustion that should have engulfed her hours ago as the sky darkened increasingly. Only the torches lit around the castle and the glow of spells offered any guidance to the soldiers on both sides of the field.

Lily found herself trading off dueling partners at random intervals. At one moment she'd been facing off a dark wizard from Bulgaria with Jason to her side and at the next, she'd be handling a giant slamming his club into the side of the castle with a team of Order members.

They were holding their ground, however it took to do so. Sneak attacks in the air and Marcus's flames allowed the small but brave group to defend the castle against incoming forces.

Dread was inevitable, especially in the dark. Yet when Lily thought she'd stumbled into its embrace to never rise again, one of her comrades would shoot her a look. A look of patriotic belief that this was the Cause they'd been born to fight and die for. A look that brought scores of guilt to her broken mosaic heart- a heart that ached with the single prayer for those she loved to reach dawn.

She didn't notice that aurors and Order members and even surprising wizards and witches who'd join the fray for a final stance were falling around her. While Louis Weasley and Lavender Brown, the sister of a Hufflepuff a year before her, fell right next to her Lily simply raised her tired arm higher and descended further into the battle.

Night concealed the truth. As Lily's shoes crunched into flesh she prayed that it wasn't the flesh of her friends or her beloved Order. She prayed that by some slim chance they were winning, but Lily had no idea if this were true.

Horribly outnumbered the good were taking their last stance. The Order of the Phoenix was no longer a group of fickle men and women tired of waiting for their world to go to hell, it was an army of bright burning souls.

A persistent pain shook Lily's head while she found herself near the grounds. The Giant Squid had arisen from the lake and was wreaking havoc on any death eaters to come close. And with Emmeline's dragon, it was merely a matter of dropping hordes of werewolves and other ghouls into the murky water. Lily could see the heads of merpeople flash above the water and their sharp teeth tugging the flesh of inferi open.

Planted beside the stout form of the Ollivander matriarch, Lily tore into the fray. Ducking spells and throwing hexes back into the direction where they came from brought little comfort to the sight of giants and spiders alike storming the castle walls.

" Lovely!"

As Lily turned, she shoved her bony shoulder into a death eater and looked aside. Standing on top of the curved hill leading up to the castle was Professor Horace Slughorn. At his sides was the army of house elves Lily had witnessed earlier in the battle. The same army had climbed up onto a great big old giant and clawed into his skin until the beast finally toppled over into a nearby tower.

" Professor I didn't know you had chosen to stay," Lily answered. Word had reached her earlier that Professor Omina and Sinistra had taken the responsibility of delivering Andromeda Tonks' destroyed and barely alive body to St. Mungos.

Far enough from the main skirmish at the shore to catch her breath and lower the wand between her blistered fingers, Lily found herself wondering why Professor Slughorn, Slytherin's head, had chosen to stay for the battle. But then again many of his students were fighting here, only they were on both sides of the skirmish.

" And I had not known you were kin to my favorite family," Professor Slughorn answered with glittering eyes. Of all people, his reaction seemed most fitting. Her child-like Slughorn, simply found Lily to be an enduring toy for his use. Only now did he realize that she wasn't a normal toy- she was rare and worthy of his esteemed shelves of past toys.

Gideon, cautiously had embraced Lily earlier but Lily could see anger and pain in his eyes. Frank in all his stubborn glory had simply turned and walked away with Alice on his foot.

Students and classmates who'd seen her, managed to hear the word. Lily Evans was back- only she wasn't the beloved darling muggleborn they'd all trusted. She was nothing more than a stubborn and outspoken pureblood hiding and running from reality.

" If were we not in a battlefield I'd tell you the whole story over tea," Lily answered with the tone a parent might take to a much loved but troublesome child. " However I have several death eaters to take down."

Before Professor Slughorn could answer her, a house elf rose from the small army covered in rags around him. Lily recognized the droopy ears around its head and a spark of endearment filled her.

" Misses Lily Gastor Manor has burned," the elf exclaimed. " All me's family in there and now dead."

The sight of those wide tearful eyes somehow broke Lily's old demeanor. Bending down, she found herself returning to the old Lily Evans, Lovely Lily who'd help any student with homework and bring sweets from Hogsmeade to the younger students.

" I know Tipsy," Lily answered, silently wondering which of her brothers had given the elf such an atrocious name. Her mind went directly to Pericles for in his youth he had been the mischievous yet quiet child of the bunch.

A soft smile came to Lily's lips and she cursed it all. She cursed the absurdly kind attitude she'd taken for an entire year and the kindness she extended to all. Surely it was more tiring than battling werewolves and being hit by magical lightning!

" We're going to just have to avenge them now- Gastor Manor and the brave elves that defended it."

Standing, Lily noticed the determined expression on the elf's face and faced Slughorn.

" Have you seen James Potter or Jason?"

Having not seen either in hours at least, Lily worried tremendously. They were her sky- her world really. Jason the hero and James the scoundrel she couldn't help but adore. It seemed the heat of the battle made her previous thoughts of James's devotion fade if only until dawn.

" James, that rascal, I believe I saw him with one of the Shacklebolts- the younger I do believe. The pair was dueling a rather unsightly pair of wizards- accents on every spell that came from their mouths," Slughorn exclaimed.

Fury filled her like no other. James had been injured constantly in the past days and he'd managed to last longer than she in the center battle. And of all the duels- he was dueling a nefarious foreign wizard.

" We'll manage the skirmish down here," Slughorn interrupted. " Go up there." There was a rather sly twinkle to his eyes that made Lily think her childish Potions teacher may have more experiences in love than she'd believed.

Looking overhead, Lily could see Emmeline riding ahead with a great big giant captured in the claws of her Welsh Green. Most surprising was the dragon that had emerged beside her ride. Lily's mouth fell as a wild roar of battle escaped the mouth of the shirtless man who rode the beast. Well maybe the sight of the fiery Hungarian Horntail in England of all places was rather unsightly too.

Wondering if Emmeline would fancy giving her ride into the battle, a pain like no other descended onto Lily. It was the pain of fear. Stifling fear filled Lily to the core at the mere thought of being so high in the sky.

Suddenly the taste of copper filled Lily's mouth and she heaved over. Nothing escaped her mouth but the sounds of her dry heaving startled not only Professor Slughorn but also the elves with him.

" Lovely have you been hit?"

The oaf! How did he expect her to speak with bile storming down her throat but refusing to descend? Lily swallowed and forced herself up and wiped her dry mouth.

" I'm fine- just a little too much adrenaline."

Catching Slughorn's disbelieving eyes Lily sighed and leaned forward. With a baleful gleam to her emerald eyes she spoke.

" I got caught in a rather bad storm in the jungles of Central America right before arriving here. I suppose I'll have to pay Mungos a trip when this affair is settled," Lily explained.

But she fully knew the odds of her leaving this war alive were low. Her stupid ignorant Slughorn merely nodded and looked ready to share a possibility of any of his travels.

Luckily, a spell flew near them and the elves descended onto the wizard who sent it. Lily took this chance to escape Slughorn and headed for the castle.

Dodging spells and sending more behind her back, Lily hurried up the thick rolling hill leading up to a castle corridor. Her breaths were ragged but she managed to reach the top and dive into a bush, avoiding a pair of werewolves.

Crawling through the thorns, Lily rose silently towards a ruined window and climbed through. After this there was no way she could return Marlene's clothing.

" Stupefy."

Her spell netted out in a fabulous little trick Marcus had taught her and hit a grand ol crowd of death eaters storming the hallway. They fell on top of each other, and the pair of aurors forced to face them sent Lily thankful looks as they began to levitate the prone forms of the death eaters down to the grounds.

It seemed that the group Michael was leading were taking unconscious or prone death eaters and soldiers alike beyond the anti-apparition borders. Questioning a nearby Order member, Lily discovered that the Ministry had their infamous Witch Watchers taking the death eaters in scores to either a newly guarded Azkaban or the cells within the Ministry.

The quick-witted movement of their long subdue government was long waited and Lily felt a burst of pride for her beloved England as she tore into the battle once more.

* * *

As usual, time held no control over James during a battle. It could have been seconds or minutes or even days but he would still fight on. Standing beside Sirius, James shot spell after spell at any who dared to face him.

" Langlock," he shouted. A death eater fell back and James bit down a wince as a giant trampled the man. In his sight were Professor Flitwick and a Hit Wizard taking on three death eaters at once. But James merely turned and frowned as he looked into the battle.

Someone was missing; someone desperately needed to end the war. A knowing sensation came to his stomach and James's eyes desperately sought the familiar form of Voldemort.

But his old master was not in sight. The sickening feeling in his gut that James got from behind anywhere near him wasn't there either. Simply, the war was ending or seemed to be ending without a leader on both sides. And no one was aware of this.

Glancing down at his watch for the first time since departing from Lily's side, James could see that the battle had waged far into the night. Thursday was over and in the early hour of Friday the war still had no clarity of who would win it.

Sickening flashes of spells and dim torches provided the sole light source of the main battlefield in the Entrance Courtyard. According to Remus, who'd join them briefly before, Lily had gone down to the Lake to aid the skirmish against a rather large force of foreign dark wizards.

She could handle herself, this much James knew. But still there was an undying fear that with every green spell he saw flash in the air the target was Lily.

With an uneasy breath, James turned to the battle once more. Yet his heart wasn't in it as spells unfurled from his wand in a wicked tempest. His mind raced at the thought that Voldemort wasn't here.

Surely the man wasn't so much of a snake to avoid the final battle of his glorious war. But knowing his old master, James doubted he'd risk bringing himself forward if his men were losing. James had a hard time believing that the Order's tender force of a hundred or so at most, could defend against the crippling numbers Voldemort had brought.

Throwing a nonverbal shield charm over himself and Sirius, James watched as stones of a nearby wall pelted down at them. A house elf's corpse was near them and James wondered when they had joined the fight.

Earlier, he had witness Peeves leading the Hogwarts' ghosts into the battlefield. The sight of the poltergeist carrying loads of filibuster firework and dungbombs brought a smile to James's ash covered face.

" No!"

Turning, James saw the enraged form of Marcy Webber crouched over one of her fellow Ravenclaws. From the blank gaze to Petra Patel's, a seventh year that'd been accepted into the Transfiguration Department, gaze James knew immediately that the girl was dead.

He hadn't realized that a simple and scared girl like Marcy Webber would be willing to fight. Most of their school knew about her miscarriage during the attack five months previous and James hadn't had the mind to pay attention to his peers. Marcy had grown up and when she rose up from the ground there was a determined set to her eyes.

James looked away before he could watch this girl become a woman in the way killing changed people. The battle had once again called his attention and he dove into it headfirst.

Invincibility seemed to cloak him. As Sirius had passed the cloak to Remus in a previous duel, James could feel something else cloaking him and Sirius. Spells seemed to bounce off them instead of breaking through the weak shield charms they'd hastily thrown up.

In his wonders of where this godly sense was coming from, James realized that Sirius had been maintaining a nonverbal shield charm that cloaked directly over their skin. And the act, a truly exhausting and incredible one, brought an ashy pallor to his brother's skin.

" Maybe you should check up on one of other other fields," James advised in between a duel. Sirius, looking tired and positively ready to collapse, forced a smile on his glorious face and shook his proud face.

" And miss the chance to give our darling Lucius a fitting duel? I think not."

So they fought on and James watched as faces of foes began to blend into one collective mess. Looking back months later, he'd come to realize that what haunted wasn't the darkness of the battlefield or the sounds of screams. It was the way he felt so alive. Truly there was something frightening in the way he could finally breathe on a battlefield.

As another hour passed, James found himself straying from the exact center of the battlefield. Dodging debris and scattered bodies, he and Sirius managed to arrive beside the tired and sweat-coated form of the American auror Marcus Clarke.

" Still standing lads?"

Sirius let out a barking laugh at Marcus's question and James and he assisted the auror in defending the edge of the chasm. Spells fell from James's wand in a rapid-fire motion sending giants and Acromantula alike down to the far away river at the bottom of the abyss.

" Until the very end," Sirius vowed. James eyed the sputtering flames rising from Marcus's wand. Hours before, Marcus Clarke had been able to maintain the flames with his hands alone. It must have been a tiring affair whatever he was doing.

" You alright?"

Marcus's grassy eyes held a glint that gave James an odd sense of recognition. There was something oddly familiar, in a ghost-like manner to this man's sardonic smiles and the raised cliff of his nose and cheekbones.

" I'll be alright when these bastards stop rising from the bloody dead," Marcus answered. His wand flew to an inferius that James hadn't seen and bashfully, James directed his attention to the incoming forces.

In an artful manner, James maintained this work of defending the castle until his attention was called to a flaming beast soaring overhead.

" What in Merlin's…"

Gideon Prewitt, a nearby soldier in this war, having finished his duel with an imperiused witch, looked up to the sky with a scowl.

" Emma's boyfriend," he explained. " He researches dragons."

" Right but how did he get a horntail here?"

" His father's Newt Scamander, I suppose he'd be able to get away with a great deal of things," Gideon answered. With a glint in his eyes, he watched the man let out a cry and dive into the battle. His dragon swiped at the largest giant James had ever seen and blew flames onto the beast. " I'm beginning to wonder what Emma sees in him- the bloke's running around shirtless screaming…"

" There's something liberating about it," Marcus grunted. " Besides your Emmeline seems to fit in with him quite well."

James's lips twitched as he watched the ice queen of Gryffindor bring her Welsh Green over and the two dragons took on the large giant. Certainly who have believed that Emmeline Vance could ride a dragon?

Although it was a fantastic sight, much better than many of the portraits and tapestries in Hogwarts, James forced his eyes back to the ground of the battlefield. He saw a flash of raven hair and knew that Marlene was somewhere in the sky riding a broomstick.

James settled to keep his mouth shut about Marlene's presence and returned his attention to a nearby snarling werewolf. Although it wasn't a full moon, the wolves could still bite and torment people. And from being friends with Remus for so many years, the sight of a werewolf ready to sink its teeth into Penelope Weston's neck brought fury to James's mind.

A jinx flew from his wand and Penelope stared in horror as the werewolf was torn to bits. Her eyes met James's with silent thanks before she clumsily stood and entered the fray.

" Ever the knight Prong?"

" Only for our damsels," James retorted with a grin.

A grin was sent to James before he diverted his attention to more pressing matters like the incoming inferi and Acromantula coming up the side of the chasm.

* * *

Sirius found himself in the middle of the battlefield without a partner for the first time since the battle began. James had seen a fire break out near the Quidditch Pitch and settled to go and help Michael take it down.

Having reentered the fray without a partner, Sirius took great lengths to make sure he wasn't going to get blown to bits or hit by a killing curse. But he'd forgotten one thing; Blacks didn't like traitors.

" Bloody hell!"

The familiar spiraling form of the cruciatus curse skimmed Sirius's hair and he turned to see Bellatrix standing alongside his family. His father's lip were pulled up into a sneer and Regulus looked at him with wide surprised eyes.

" Do you need a pair of glasses?"

" Excuse me?"

His uncle Cygnus smirked and raised his wand.

" It seems you've forgotten your place Sirius Orion."

Narrowing his eyes at the tone of his uncle, Sirius gripped his wand and felt sweat clinging to his hand.

" No I haven't," he replied determined. " I'm not fighting for the monster that wants to kill kids."  
" They're dirt," Bellatrix exclaimed. " You know that mudbloods are no good."  
Fear and a sickening sensation came to Sirius's form. His legs shook at Bellatrix's form- he'd always felt this way about his cousin. Bellatrix had always made him feel as though the darkness he so desperately fought was engulfing him.

" No they're not," Sirius answered with a slightly stutter. " You're the dirt here."

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes and her wand was pointed at Sirius's chest.

" Why you little-"

" Bellatrix wait," his father hissed. His cold grey eyes met Sirius's and for the first time in his life, Sirius understood everything. He wasn't one of them; he never had been one of them. For his entire life he tried to be like Regulus and his father and Bellatrix but simply he was born to greatness, while they were born to fade to grey ashes.

He had compassion and he was kind. The hectic craze that all Blacks were driven into wouldn't engulf him. He'd fight it for as long as he lived and even in death wouldn't let it consume him. He was Sirius Black the white sheep in a dark flock of demons and he was brave.

All along he had been a Gryffindor. His heart hadn't been the ambitious sneaky snake that his family wore. Truly, he was brave of heart. As his friends were lions of snakes, Sirius had been a lion all along.

" You can still change son," his father said lowly. " No one would say anything."

And some part of it was true but the brave knew that death was simply the next great generation. And Sirius Orion Black would rather die than become so gray and faded like his family.

So he raised his head and felt moonlight hit the face that so many desired. He knew he couldn't take his family on all at once and the affair of his death would be a quick one. But it would be a glorious one.

His last thought was a simple and true one. Marlene McKinnon, the girl he loved for so long simply wasn't worth it. She had pined after Jason for years and gotten lost in the light of the sun. But Sirius knew the truth; she was in love with the image of a white knight she'd built onto Jason. And that image was going to fall apart soon and she'd realize the only light she ever needed was the light of his star.

Only by then he would be dead and frankly, Sirius did not give a damn.

" You named me to be the biggest greatest star in the whole sky," Sirius started with a twinkle in his eyes. " Well you were right. I will shine but you my family are nothing but the ash and darkness that let's me shine- I will not go back to the dark. Father I'd rather die for this cause then join your side so kill me and make me a star."

His father's lips pulled down for a mere moment before extending into a smile, a sickly one at that.

" You were always a foolish boy and now you're a foolish man," he replied.

Sirius let out a bark of laughter and shook his head. He found his left hand and pried the ring he wore so proudly for seventeen years off. It fell to the ground with the wand of his grandfather.

" I may be foolish but I'm brave, something you and all the Blacks will never be."

A growl escaped Bellatrix's mouth and her hand twitched.

" Do it," Sirius ordered. " I've made my peace."

He stared that wand dead in the eye and could see his death coming from it. A green spell pealed out and sound disappeared. Maybe death slowly took away one's senses, first taste of fear, then scent of its presence, thirdly the sound of its footsteps, and lastly the sight of its being.

A beautiful laugh escaped Sirius's mouth as the ring's weight on his mind disappeared. He was free and his emotions, ever so bright, were going to make him a star.

Sirius Black laughed at the sight of death coming for him and maybe that's the reason he was named for the boldest star in the sky. For it takes a certain amount of courage to laugh at the face of death.

* * *

**I'm horribly sorry for the long awaited update and the cliffhanger. Chapter 32 and 33 are finished and being betaed.**

**I have some news. Parts Four and Five will be released in a separate story. There's a very clear reason for this that I hope readers will understand at the conclusion of Chapter 32. I hope that all the readers, reviewers, and people so willing to read my story will continue on to the next.**

**I've developed it quite a bit and as for some notes, it's going to be quite a bit darker than Confingo and have a tad more let's say passion to it. I don't want to spoil anything but I know for a fact it's centered around Lily and James shifting into more of a passion and emotion-run relationship. I'll cap it off there. **

**I'll try to get the next chapter out soon!**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	32. The End of the Beginning

**Chapter 32 The End of the Beginning**

**(Saturn) **

* * *

Preface: For Darkness Shows the Stars

Or

The Tragedy of Emmeline Vance

In the summer of 1977 there was to be a fantastic wedding. A wedding planned for seventeen years and for sixteen of those years seemed to be on its way to becoming a rather lovely affair.

But war came and took its toll leaving the future bride nothing more than a damsel in distress. Fallen to her knees, the bride fell wearily to the beloved groom's shoulders and let him hold her up for two long years.

It took her two years to realize that this boy couldn't give her the fairy tale love she'd read of so fondly in her childhood. In a matter of seconds the gentle balance to the plans of a grand wedding fell apart.

The woman who was no longer a bride, pulled herself up from the ground determined never to sink to it again. With dirt staining her knees, she walked forward in need of no white knight.

In her quest, the woman stumbled on danger. Discovering that she and danger could dance like no other, she decided to spend the rest of her life dancing. She'd dance and dance until danger threw her up into the stars and there was nothing left for him to catch.

Maybe she could have danced on with danger, but perhaps she was reaching much too high. For months turned on and the war continued only for her heart to realize, much before her mind, that she didn't need to dance.

There was a man with golden eyes and a smile so bright that everybody mistook him for the sun. He was a man carrying the guilt of the past and willing to do anything to clean the blood from his hands. But this woman, this woman who saw it fit to dance with danger, simply believed that this man could not be the sun.

She supposed that the heart could realize the truth of a matter long before the head. And it was true in this case. From the moment this man shown her a smile so bright it was mistaken for the sun, she knew the truth he tried so desperately to hide.

Simply the sun didn't want prying eyes to see the truth. The sun did not desire for people to see that it couldn't carry the weight of the world and the sheer weight would surely kill it. But the world kept thrusting its problems to the sun.

Likewise, this man so very determined to be an anchor for his world, smiled ever so bright. But never did he suspect that there was a woman who was willing to burn her eyes to see the truth.

She was willing to do a lot more than lose her eyes. This woman, well she threw everything she'd known away in order to make the sun stop hiding behind smiles and it's bright light. And the man well he found himself falling into love with such a brave woman.

But he feared that his bright shine would surely melt the ice of her beautiful heart- the very heart so many men had tried to melt. Both of them knew he could melt her heart if he desired, but this man had no desire to melt the brave woman's heart.

So instead, the man dropped his blinding persona and what was left wasn't a black hole. No place of the man's blinding light was a glow, a gentle glow like the moon.

As the moon he couldn't melt her heart, instead he made it sparkle and dimple like the finest diamond in the world. He didn't change her- no this man never tried to change her. Instead he made her see and the world see that this brave woman was not an ice queen; she was perfect in the way a child's untainted laugh was.

The end of her quest had come and gone without the woman noticing. For she had the glow, the soft beautiful glow of the moon to love her.

It could have been a fairytale, but they lived in a world where fairytales were destined to become tragedies.

In the summer of 1977, there was still a wedding with the brave woman as always intended. Only it wasn't a big old grand affair for the gentry to show off their finest, no this wedding was held in a small backyard with no more than twenty people in attendance.

The brave woman didn't wear a large dress. She was dressed in soft silver fabric that made her look nothing like the queen people mistook her for. The soft silver fabric and the circlet of flowers on her brow did nothing to hide the loss in her eyes.

Once upon a time there was a girl with stars in her eyes. And when a boy who wanted nothing more than to reach for the stars died, he took the stars in her eyes with him.

At eighteen Emmeline Vance was married in the backyard of James Potter's cottage with eyes devoid of stars. At eighteen the last desperate hopes of fairytale happily ever afters were cut from her dreaming soul and they never returned.

So many people learned almost two weeks previous that childhood had faded and they'd been dumped into adulthood's cold Warfield. Emmeline Vance's gold, her childhood, ended when she came to the conclusion that happily ever afters were nothing more than made-up stories to keep children innocent.

In the coming months, her presence among these newly adults would fade to conversations about the fantastic adventures their darling Emma must be having. And she couldn't help but want to fade into a fairytale romance with her beloved danger so that her beloved friends might find some of their lost childhood whimsical tendencies in her story.

It wasn't the story she was meant to have.

She'd turn into a fairytale where a happily ever after could exist. But in reality Emmeline never stood a chance at acquiring a happily ever after ending. So she faded into the blackness of space for Emmeline Vance was no longer a glowing star.

There were other stars that needed to glow and shine.

And those stars took the sky as their stage ignorant of the great big dazzling star that one habituated in their land. But they needed the darkness of the stars that faded to shine.

Stars, oh ignorant stars, were nothing more than beloved darling children and Emmeline Vance was no longer ignorant nor a child. She had simply grown up and took the weight of darkness…

* * *

Fatal Flaws

For the first time since the battle began, Lily found herself standing before a clock. The grand hands of the clock stood out in the small courtyard she stood in dealing with a pair of werewolves. It was easier this time, stunning them instead of killing brought Lily so much peace.

It was nearing four and dawn would surely come. But not fast enough. Lily had seen the bodies, oh the bodies, of her peers and Order members. Hit Wizards and aurors stained the steps of the castle along with the forms of her peers.

Sounds and smoke filled the air around her as Lily stepped through the courtyard heading for the battlefield of the Entrance Courtyard. Her sneakers, worn thoroughly, crunched rubble and debris while Lily hurried.

Having spent most of the battle outside the castle, it was surprising for Lily to see that there was a great deal of fighting going on inside of the castle. As she reached the Entrance Hall, Lily could see that the doors to the Great Hall had been blown open and inside Alastor Moody and Bishop were dueling a large crowd all at once.

She knew better than to enter and distract them, so Lily turned and headed for the battlefield. Glass and stone coated the castle's ground like a blanket and Lily wanted nothing more than to rip it off. Her beloved Hogwarts was in pieces. How dare they!

Reaching the courtyard, Lily could see with the assistance of dimming torches that they were losing. Bodies of Order members stained the ground and blood coated all surfaces. Spells offered a damned source of light and a curse broke out of Lily's mouth when she saw what could possibly be the worst sight she'd witnessed.

This sight broke her more than watching Benjy Auclair torture Michael or seeing her own dying flesh wrapped in blackened veins. For it was one that plagued her for ages, only in this instance it was happening to Sirius Black.

Truly it was a sight worthy of paintings. It was a sight that deserved angel laments and the tears of gods. Sirius Black in all of his damned glory, stood proudly before a group of people that very well could have been his shadows, in some ways Lily supposed they were.

Bellatrix Lestrange had a wand, that wasn't her own as James had broken that earlier before finding his own, raised and a sinister look rested on her face as Sirius spoke with his father. Lily could sense it as Sirius pulled a ring from his finger and dropped it to the ground along with his wand.

" Oh Circe," she gasped. Her body was frozen in terror and wind brushed against the tangled curls Marlene pushed up. Too far to hear the conversation, Lily watched in horror at what was to come. Sirius smiled, a smile like no other, and laughed.

It was a laugh she'd never forget, a laugh that would tangle into darkness and screams and blood from this night would haunt her forever. It was a laugh not at his family but at death.

" Move girl," a voice barked. Lily stumbled back and a man with a horrible cough sprinted forward into the battle. She didn't pay attention to him as the world crushed her.

Sirius, could not die. He was simply too bright and deep down inside Lily was awfully fond of him. Perhaps she even loved him for he loved James and kept him intact these long months. That much Lily owed Sirius Black.

Sirius continued to laugh and a sob ripped out of Lily's mouth as Bellatrix's mouth moved. Time stilled and she could see the sparks of the killing curse on Bellatrix's wand.

Lily, finally able to control her limbs, broke into a sprint. Sirius could not be alone in his final moments and even if he hated her, for surely he must, she'd be there to catch him.

Her eyes were glued to the scene, a scene that would leave Sirius dead at the hands of his kin if not for one wild card- there was another lion in the Black family, a lion that was about to roar into life.

The green spell flew from Bellatrix's wand and Sirius kept laughing. As the spell narrowed in on him like a predator, a man leaped forward. An invisible force made Lily stop dead before the scene and watch as Alphard Black leapt in front of Sirius with a spangled body and raised limbs.

" No!"

Sirius had broken his laughter to scream the single word. The green spell, intended to kill Sirius, hit Alphard hard in the chest and Sirius caught his old withered body.

" Avada Kedevra."

The words were out Lily's mouth before she could even try to control herself and a green light filled with hate like no other raced towards the Black clan. Horror and terror filled her as Bellatrix Lestrange's eyes widened for a mere moment and an ungodly scream escaped her mouth.

The killing curse, an unforgivable, hit Bellatrix Lestrange in the chest and she fell to the ground.

Three sets of shocked stormy eyes flew to Lily's form and she had a hand over her mouth in horror. She had killed Bellatrix Lestrange. The woman who tortured the boys she loved and tried to kill one she respected like no other- the same woman who'd known her family for ages and wreaked too much havoc. Bellatrix Lestrange was dead at the hands of a girl who had vowed to never use an unforgivable.

She watched in horror as Cygnus Black, Bellatrix's father, let out an ungodly scream and a green light flew to her. There was a thud in her chest and Lily knew she was going to have Bellatrix's blood on her hands if she lived or died.

Before the spell could hit her, a body rammed her to the ground and Lily felt her side scream in protest. She opened her eyes to see James getting off her and turning to the Black clan.

Spells raced from his wand and there was a tempest in his eyes like no other. In that moment Lily knew that he loved her and she held his heart in her hands. Only she couldn't give him hers- the mere thought made her heart scream in protest.

Staring blankly at James, Lily didn't realize he'd killed Cygnus and stunned Orion before ordering Regulus to get out of there. There was a hand pulling her up into his chest and a great sob erupted from Lily's mouth.

" She was going to kill him," Lily sobbed. " She was going to kill Sirius."

But the words meant nothing. The killing she'd done in the past was for the Greater Good and Lily had seen the sins in her actions and repented. This time, if there was a god, she knew he'd let a single tear out for her.

Something ached horrendously in her and Lily knew it was the final bit of childhood she'd clung to desperately. It wanted to escape but she wouldn't let it. She needed it more than ever now.

" It's okay," James soothed. " Everything's going to be okay."

Lily nodded weakly and wiped her eyes before looking down to where Sirius held the frame of his uncle. Alphard Black looked oddly small in Sirius's arms and Sirius looked up finally.

There was a thick emotion in his eyes and a glow that Lily hadn't ever seen. He knew what she had done and nodded curtly to her. If Lily hadn't killed Bellatrix then surely the cruel woman would have killed Sirius, weighed down by the man in his arms.

" He's dead," Sirius said finally. His fingers, his dust-covered fingers, shut Alphard Black's stormy eyes and he gently placed the husk of a man on the ground. Sirius stood and there were tears, childhood tears, in his eyes.

Lily, still in James's embrace, nodded and her throat cried out in protest as she spoke.

" I'm sorry- I just didn't know-"

Sirius strode forward and pulled Lily from James's hold. Before she could speak, he was kneeling in front of her and kissing her hands.

" Thank you," Sirius said over and over again. Lily stared at him in shock and he looked up with a determined set to his eyes. " She was an evil monster from the moment she was born and deserved it. Thank you."

Sirius finally rose and Lily found herself in his arms. He smelled of ash and death but there was triumph like no other in his eyes. For breaking his best friend's heart, Sirius swore up and down to make Lily pay. But perhaps for doing the world this service, Lily had managed to get his forgiveness.

There was silence a peaceful silence in this moment. It was the moment Sirius Black let go of any trace of childhood for he learned the final lesson of growing up; forgiveness and the honor of living humbly.

And Lily supposed that her own childhood, what was left of it, would free itself before dawn. In some sense she knew all along that none of them would make it to dawn.

Since she'd returned to England, Lily had a broken mess of her childhood but she had it. And since that day when she walked over Sirius Black's fallen form in a train and stumbled into James's arms, she had been fighting for each last piece.

If the beginning of the end of her childhood had started that day, then this was surely the end of that beginning. The Beginning of her life was ending and Lily felt a crushing amount of love for the seventeen years of a beginning she had.

Her wish, the prayer she'd craved ever so desperately would not be fulfilled. Simply, Lily wanted her friends and herself to live to dawn with some semblance of innocence and hold but that could not happen.

James had been the first when he chose to drive a stone to his Dark Mark and cast it off and Sirius in his actions of forgiveness would certainly not be the last. They were all going to enter adulthood, as Lily feared. They were not soldiers or boys as Lucian had once hoped, no these people she loved so passionately were stars.

Sirius did not let go of her and Lily did not stop him from this embrace. She wondered for a moment if anyone had loved Sirius, save for his beloved Marauders, in the way one cherishes their innocence. Lily vowed in that second that she loved Sirius in the same manner she fought so desperately for the gold in her life.

Sirius would fill the emptiness not because he was a star brighter than Galen and Jason combined but because both of them were broken in a way that not even James could comprehend.

Sniffling her tears back, Lily looked up and smiled at Sirius. If James was a devil in black then Sirius was an image of an angel.

Yet a blemish was set in stone to ruin this touching scene. A sizzling sound filled the air and Lily felt her ears scream in protest as a panging migraine filled her head. Sirius let go of her and stumbled back clutching his own head.

" Oh Merlin," he choked. Lily looked fearfully around trying to identify the source of the sound and James reached for her with a confused look in his eyes.

" I am calling a cease fire," a familiar slick voice hissed in their ears. Lily narrowed her eyes and a fury like no other pummeled in her veins. Voldemort had finally decided to give a slightest hint that he was present for this end.

" Both sides of this battle have fought so bravely but the numbers of Albus Dumbledore's Order," he sneered. " are low. So I am calling an end to battle for an hour. At six I will return with the full force of my army and any who dare to stand against my rule with die. Collect your dead and regroup… I hope that you make the right choice."

The panging sound in Lily's ears left after Voldemort's last words and from the way Sirius and James rose, she knew it left their ears too. To her utter surprise, the death eaters and giants and the forces of Voldemort began to flee back across the bridge leaving what was left of the Order to watch them go.

" You're bleeding," James said bluntly. Lily looked down to where his gaze rested and she could see blood seeping through her side. Wondering how she'd gotten the wound, Lily met his gaze with a puzzled stare.

" My clumsy love how did you manage to not fall into death by now?" James said with a perfectly good nature. His disposition changed considerably as the death eaters left the castle. A smirk, which reminded her of the Potter she hated for months, sat proudly on his handsome face.

Winking at him, Lily forced a smile to her face, a cheeky one ill-fitted for the battle. But the world was watching them, it was waiting to see them fall and admit defeat. Simply she and James were playing the same enduring game they'd played months ago in the Great Hall right before the castle was attacked. Only this time it could make a life or death difference.

" I've got a rather lovely knight," Lily admitted. " Although his hair looks as though a hurricane's run through it…"

" And what's so horrible about hurricanes?" James asked as Sirius picked his great uncle's body and stood with a grim look. They had to be strong, they had to look as though this battle hadn't ripped their souls to pieces and the only reason they were still standing was the support of each other's eyes. They had to hold the world up…

" Well," Lily drawled, slinging her arm around James's waist as he coped the motion. His fingers drummed against her hip as they walked on to the castle. Lily could see straggling Order members walking or flying up to the castle. Emmeline and a man, tall and tan, descended from the set of dragons they'd ridden and were grinning like children as they helped the Chang brothers into the castle.

" There's nothing wrong with a good storm you see. I'll have you know that I like my men with hair that looks as though they've been struck by lightening," Lily exclaimed.

James's eyes glittered wickedly and he poked her in the side good-naturedly.

" Such a harlot Christmas. I know your darling little secret- you're a storm whore!"

" What did you just call my sister?"

Standing on the nearly destroyed staircase was Jason. Soot stained his golden face but an amused grin was situated on his face as he took in the scene. Lily and James, drunk on giddiness and Sirius trailing after trying to bite down a laugh. In darkness they'd shine and the Order needed a reason to fight- they needed hope.

Relief like no other found its way to Lily's heart and she longed to throw her arms over Jason's shoulders and thank every deity that he was alive. But that would show weakness.

James expecting this motion tightened his grip on Lily's side and released a roaring laugh. As they reached Jason, Lily supposed that members of their army must have been watching their scene.

" Your darling sister is simply the clumsiest disaster to grace my presence," James explained. " And she tries to wound me by insulting my hair. Padfoot do tell her that I've got the damn best hair in the whole of the Wizarding World."

It was disturbing, Lily supposed. In the face of so many travesties they were forced to put on masks and pretend everything was okay. But really nothing was.

Sirius, carrying his kin's dead corpse, managed a tired smile and laughed.

" Really Red second to me of course, Prongs has the best hair I've seen," Sirius declared.

" You're both wrong," Jason countered with a heavy arrogance to his tone. But his eyes screamed in pain and Lily wondered what he had been forced to endure this past week. " My hair's the best."

As the three boys started an argument, Lily peered into the Great Hall where straggling Order members sat. Immediately the banter between the three brothers stopped at the scene before them.

With one glance into the room, it was immediately clear that the dead outnumbered the living. Lily heard a roar of sorrow from behind and turned to see Kingsley standing in the doorway of the hall with tears in his eyes.

Lying on the Hufflepuff table was a body that every person in this room could recognize. With closed eyes and a peaceful expression Bishop Shacklebolt had left this world. Kinglsey stormed past them and Lily felt guilt like no other.

She was in the states for two months and could have seen Bishop any time. But instead her shame prevented her from seeking out the man that changed her life so thoroughly.

" Come on," James murmured in her ear. Lily stumbled forward with his hand at the small of her back. They reached the Gryffindor table where Lily's darling Gryffindors sat. Remus was with them and Marlene's sobbing form was clasped in his arms.

She couldn't face them. Alice being held by Gideon and as cried over the body of her mother and Fabian with the Weasley clan where Septimus Weasley's cooling corpse rested. Lily couldn't face Frank's tight fists as he walked alongside Lucretia Sprout writing up who lived and died in the previous hours.

And she could face Jason and James and Sirius. Certainly they deserved some privacy so Lily turned when James wasn't looking to leave the hall. She could hear him fussing over Professor McGonagall's bruised face before her mind demanded to leave this scene.

The bodies of her peers and friends were around the room with people crying over them. They were broken. The Order of the Phoenix was finally broken.

When Lily stumbled into the Entrance Hall, there were a group of aurors levitating the bodies of fallen death eaters and the forces of Voldemort in. It was the honorable thing Lily supposed. But as she saw Cygnus Black's corpse it was a struggle not to kick it.

" Lily?"

Turning, Lily found herself face to face with Marcus. His face was covered in ash and the only color she could see were his grassy eyes. Exhaustion seemed to ripple off his shoulders and Lily found herself stepping forward to catch him before he could fall in the doorway.

Luckily, he wasn't as heavy as James or Jason and Lily was easily able to support him to get him to sit on the ground. She slid next to him and stared at the rubble on the ground.

" Why'd you come?"

Marcus was silent and rubbed his eyes like a tired kid.

" Because you're an idiot."

Lily's lips twitched at the harshly honest comment as she faced him, pulling her knees and going into a ball-like form.

" Your honesty is touching," she replied sarcastically. Marcus's legs splayed out and he turned his head slightly to glance at her face.

" Lily you think that people are obligated to love you," Marcus explained. " It took me a while to figure it out but you've got a messed up head. Love is not about obligations or honor or duty- it's a choice. We can choose who we love and I choose you."

Her mind that was filled with adrenaline mere hours before, felt oddly sluggish. The cracked feeling of Lily's lips and the hollow cheeks of her face meant nothing. Marcus's words meant nothing because she wasn't willing to hear them properly.

Maybe with time, Lily would remember this conversation. She'd remember the ash and dust coating their skin like warrior paint and how it hurt to breathe. She'd remember Marcus's words about love one day but the day of the Battle of Hogwarts wasn't it.

" You're young but one day Lily, you're going to be ready to figure out what love is. For me it's worth fighting for. I'd fight for Connor and I'd fight for you."

Lily shook her head and decided then and there that she'd managed to get another stubborn soul to think that she was more than dust.

" Are we surrendering?"

" There's kids in there," Marcus started. " Kids who've never known war and pain like this. They'll surrender but people like you and me… Well we're a go down with the ship type."

" Must be from mum," Lily answered with a tired smile that made the skin of her lips break. A rusty taste filled her mouth and she licked her exhausted lips.

" Did it hurt?"

Lily knew what Marcus was asking immediately and shrugged.

" There's things worth the pain," she admitted. " It was."

" Right."

A silence fell over them. Something ungodly filled Lily's veins and she knew that she most likely had hours left. Maybe less…

And she didn't want to spend those hours sitting on rubble thinking about the demons she's overcome. No, Lily wanted to spend whatever was left of the battle making a difference.

Voldemort didn't fear anyone in this battle. But there was one person he feared. Rising, Lily dusted her jeans off and set her jaw with a task at hand. They needed Dumbledore and she was going to get him, or at least that's what Voldemort would think…

* * *

Two Trees

" A real natural at this," Beckett declared. Emmeline looked up from David Chang's abdomen with a raised brow.

Beckett had shown up at the start of the battle with a set of dragons. Throwing one's leash to Emmeline, his eyes held the truth of the matter. They both enjoyed dancing with danger too much. And this- fighting the last battle of a war on the backs of dragons was just too tempting for either of them.

" Riding dragons of course," he continued. " I saw a few of your favorite creatures in Theseus's claws…"

Finishing bandaging a surface wound, Emmeline rose and raised an eyebrow at the name of the dragon she'd ridden.

" Staying true to my epithet obviously," she explained. Beckett slipped an arm around her shoulders as they sat on the edge of the Ravenclaw table. Rubble filled the hall but seeing the corpses that lined the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables was worse than seeing the state of Hogwarts.

Her eyes flew to the Gryffindor table where Michael and Jason stood with an odd mix of all their friends. James Potter was treating Michael's shoulder wound while Marlene tended to a gash on Alice's face.

" Isn't that Alphard Black?"

Emmeline turned to see Sirius Black standing over the corpse of their headmaster. His shoulders shook slightly and Remus Lupin had a hand on his.

" There's a lot of death," she said bluntly.

Becket's fingers twined into hers but Emmeline didn't find comfort in his touch. Instead her eyes rested on the broad shouldered form of Jason. His sun-like face was not visible to Emmeline but she knew that there was a fake smile on his face.

Jason ever the pleaser, would not dare to show his sadness. But Emmeline had seen Selena Kingsmill and Sirius levitating Pericles' body into the Room of Requirement- Jason was probably dying on the inside.

" Why did you come?"

Beckett turned to her and his amber eyes were confused as Emmeline wrung her hands together.

" Well it's not your war and you're not a student or in the Order," she explained. Beckett's hand slipped up to her face and Emmeline couldn't find comfort in him. He wasn't comforting anymore, not when she had Jason.

Only Emmeline was terrified of telling him so. She had never told anybody that she loved them. With Adam he could tell immediately when her feelings changed. But with Jason, well Emmeline had seen what had happened with Marlene…

" Because your battles are mine or at least I want them to be," Beckett replied. He may have been a Hufflepuff but the promise in his eyes was of a Gryffindor expression.

" I'm scared," Emmeline admitted. She'd seen Adam among the death eaters in the previous hours. Her Adam because truly a part of him would always belong to her. Maybe it was his innocence like he had hers or maybe it was something greater. All Emmeline knew was that he'd destroyed their lovely fairytale and left nothing but a nightmare in its place.

" You rode a dragon into a battle… I'm pretty sure there's a lot more people afraid of you than you are of them."

" I'm not scared of dying Beckett," Emmeline whispered. " I'm scared that-"

But she couldn't finish her statement. It wouldn't be fair to say those words to Beckett. She could tell from the way he looked at her that he loved her. And Emmeline could love him. She could love him in the way water lapped at a sandy beach not the way she loved Jason.

With Jason, it was as though her skin glowed from his mere gaze. With Jason it seemed as though she could peel his smiles off and find the broken man hiding behind the glare of the sun, just as he could reach into her icy heart and embrace it. With Jason, Emmeline wasn't broken- she was free.

Her chin rose slowly as though it could arch like the sun. Catching Jason leaving the hall, Emmeline's legs moved of their own accord and she left Beckett without another word.

There was a decent bit of luck in this matter. Emmeline's long legs, shoved into a run, were able to keep up with Jason's long strides in a matter of seconds. Outside the Great Hall, he stopped at the shattered form of a window that looked out to the Black Lake.

Emmeline stopped and a tugging sensation at her chest made her quiet her breathing. Bowed in on himself, Jason looked as though he needed nothing more than someone to lean on.

Emmeline took a minute to watch the broken man because after she stepped forward he wouldn't be broken or alone anymore. There was something completely tragic to Jason Gastor.

He wasn't a fairytale or a dream or an oasis. He was darkness but darkness that Emmeline was willing to plunge into if she even had the smallest chance of finding his heart. He was beautiful in a way that she couldn't understand a year ago.

Even five months ago, when he first found her in that abandoned hallway, Emmeline never thought he was the sun. Simply, she never pitied him so he had no reason to be so bright around her.

And in five months Jason managed to show her that there could be happiness in growing up. Maybe adulthood was terrifying but it could be a lovely journey with the right companion. And Emmeline Vance had found hers.

" You never blinded me."

Jason whirled around in the same surprised manner that Lily took to intruders. His hand raised and then fell as he took in her form. The widened state of his eyes collapsed into a tired slump that Emmeline fully understood.

" For as long as I've known you, you've been broken and I saw it for seven years, I just never had the care to look past your light and see why. But I do care, and Jason you're crushing yourself under the weight of the world because you think that loving somebody means carrying their burdens. It doesn't," Emmeline exclaimed.

" Loving someone means that… Well it means that you have somebody to lean on and trust them not to push you away or fall under the weight of your problems. It means you're a tree and you can barely carry the weight of all your branches so you turn to another tree and it'll turn to you and you'll carry each other. It's not about putting on a brave face and forcing a smile on every morning."

" Emmeline," Jason said in a surprised and slightly shocked voice. But she wouldn't let him speak. There was a story growing in her mind for months, the only story she could ever care about.

" I love you. I love you because Adam always tried to carry my burdens and Beckett makes me strong enough to carry them myself. But you understood that love isn't about carrying burdens, it's about finding someone who understands them and makes them smaller. I love you Jason Gastor because for my entire life I've been broken and I never understood why. And I don't care why anymore- all I know is that ever since that day in the hallways five months ago I stopped trying to believe that you're the sun. And I think that you're broken like me and that-"

Emmeline was cut off by a set of warm lips that tasted like cinnamon. Jason's hands tore into her hair and his lips molded into hers in a way that Adam's or Beckett's never could. They fit and she felt stars explode at his touch.

Her hands found his shoulders and Jason broke the kiss as he looked into her eyes. There was something fantastic about this boy. Truly there was something magical about the warmth in his eyes as he took in her face.

" You taste like cinnamon," Emmeline mumbled. Jason's face pulled up and Emmeline Vance witnessed something only a handful of people had ever seen; Jason Gastor's real smile.

His cheeks dimpled in and his head was thrown back in laughter as he gave her a toothy grin. It was a smile that hadn't been controlled by their society- it was freedom and hope and what Emmeline was fighting for.

" You're absolutely mad Emmeline Vance," he declared. Leaning in, Jason's eyes looked as though they'd burst into supernovas. " It's a good thing I'm absolutely mad about you."

Emmeline found herself smiling a great big Cheshire grin and Jason pulled her into his arms. She squealed as he threw her into the air and caught her.

" I'm in love with you too you know," Jason said as he put her down. " I'm just not as good with words as you are, but I'm good at other things…"

Jason's lips found hers again and Emmeline decided that the moon was so much better than the sun. She didn't need it to survive but she did need it to live a life worth living.

As Jason's tongue entered her mouth, Emmeline heard a crash and jumped from his grip. Her hair whipped in the air as she met a pair of startled emerald eyes and Lily's flushed face. Standing beside her was the American auror Emmeline had seen make fire from his bare hands.

Before any emotion could fill her, she felt the oddest sensation. There was something that almost clicked in the image before her. The man next to Lily seemed to have the same dancing confident stance that Lily held and his eyes held the same glow, although they were a lighter shade.

There was something to the state of his nose and the shape of his hands that looked too familiar- those it features where echoed on Lily's body. And although he was tremendously taller than Lily, he had the same lithe boneset that gave him the appearance to look almost fate-like.

" I love Emmeline."

It was Jason to speak first and Lily's startled face switched into a look of amusement similar to the smirking looks that Jason was able to hold. It was strange seeing an expression that gave Emmeline shivers on Lily's face, one that looked so different from Jason's.

" You're not terribly good with words Jace," Lily answered with a musical tone to her voice. There was clear amusement dancing in her eyes and Emmeline was ready to die of embarrassment. " Maybe Emma will rub off on you."

With those short eloquent words, Emmeline knew that Lily was happy. The girl in front of her wasn't hunched in or clutching her abdomen as though she'd fall apart any minute. She was whole and Emmeline knew that Lily had grown up in these past five months.

Although thinner and covered in scars, Lily seemed almost happier. There was a bounce to her step and curls that fitted her more than the dark thick locks. But Emmeline supposed it was the ease that was apparent in her smile.

Stepping forward, Lily's arms came around Jason's shoulders and his eyes filled with panic before lightening into contentment.

" I need your help."

Lily's words broke the peaceful scene as she pulled out of the embrace. There was an urgent stare to her eyes as she wrung her hands together and chewed on her lower lip.

Jason's eyes flashed at the statement and Emmeline fought the urge to frown. But this was something she understood- blood was thick. And Jason would always feel guilt over whatever happened in his and Lily's past. He would always feel as though he owed Lily everything.

" Of course," he answered. Emmeline Vance didn't know that those words would be his downfall but she did have a horrible feeling as he pressed his lips to her cheek and followed Lily deeper in the castle. Looking back she knew that in this moment, she had the power to change what would come.

But looking back was too painful for Emmeline Vance.

* * *

The Armor of Achilles

Jason always saw his mother in Lily. He could see his mother's warm eyes in Lily's emerald gaze and her eternal laughter in Lily's smiles. He could see the gentle arch of her smiles in Lily's grins and even the passion she had all in Lily.

But ever since Lily returned, Jason knew that she wasn't a substitute for his mother.

" He's already here," Lily stated. They had left Emmeline and Marcus behind in the ruins of the Entrance Hall and Lily led him down into the dungeons. The slick walls, which used to comfort Jason, only brought him fear. He'd been tortured down here. Pericles had been destroyed in one of these dark foreboding rooms.

" And we both know where he is."

It was obvious. Jason could tell from the moment he'd heard that sickening voice in his mind that there was only one place his old master would pitch camp; the Dark Forest.

Sweat formed on Jason's hands and Lily strode forward. They were nearing the potions classroom.

The Dark Lord didn't need a prodigy anymore. He knew what Voldemort had done and it was darker than anything Jason could even think of. James had left because his life was spent fighting the urge to do what was right. Jason had left because he was terrified of what his master had done.

He'd become immortal and there was no way they could defeat him. Maybe they'd win this battle, however miniscule their chances were, but Voldemort would come back. And it was because of that Jason left the ranks of the death eaters.

" There's only two people in this battle capable of dueling him- but the only person he's afraid of isn't here."

" Dumbledore."

Lily nodded and pushed the door to the Potions room open. The classroom seemed untouched by the battle. Jason looked around the room and his mind stopped at the sight of a gold potion sitting in a smaller than norm cauldron.

Lily paused at the potion, deterred from the task at hand. Jason glanced at her and noticed the wide gaze she gave the cauldron.

" Slughorn was working on a secret project during our class," Jason muttered. Lily stumbled forward and he followed her. Her hand shook as she got a grip on stirring rod inside of the potion.

" He made felix felicis," Lily said dully. Her hand stirred the potion and Jason leaned forward eying the gleaming potion. He could recall spells seeming to bounce off their portly professor during the battle.

Lily's lips twitched up at the same time as a chuckle escaped Jason's lips. But her smile fell the second she turned to face him. Her green eyes studied his frame and Lily chewed on her lower lip.

Jason wondered if she was seeing him, as a man, and not the boy of their past.

" Dumbledore's not here but maybe we won't need him," Lily whispered. Her eyes trailed over to the locked door of Slughorn's private stash of potions and supplies.

"What do you mean?"

Lily looked up at him and there was guilt strewn across her face.

" I'm not the best dueler of our generation and I don't have your talent with spells," Lily explained. " If I could stand up to Voldemort then I wouldn't put you in this danger. I didn't ask James because I'm… well I love him Jason. And I need you to do this."

Anger flooded into his mind at Lily's statement but Jason repressed it. She left him for five months. He carried her burdens for too long and now Lily wanted more from him. Emmeline was right. Love wasn't about carrying other people's burdens, it was something more.

Maybe he didn't love Lily. Yes blood was thick but it wasn't thick enough to make Jason forget the past. She'd done him wrong and he did her wrong. Both of them were at fault and there were too many scars for him to keep going on.

A sense of obligation like no other filled Jason. He could remember his mother's words, a memory so long ago that he shouldn't have been able to recall it.

_Look after your sister,_ she'd said. And Jason had and would until the day both of them died. But Lily had James to carry her burdens.

They were growing up. Well Jason was. The fanatic gaze in Lily's eyes didn't hide the secrets she was keeping. She was still so young; young in a way she couldn't understand.

This would be it. This would be the last thing Jason would do for his sister, at least in the department of carrying her burdens. After this, he'd be free. He could finally move on from the ghost that haunted him for eight years.

He was her brother and Jason knew deep down inside that even though he wouldn't have been able to do anything to change the fact that Lily had been banished, he still should have.

Brothers were meant to do the impossible. They had the power to break a sister's heart in a way that no one else could understand and that power had to be controlled. Jason broke Lily's heart once and he vowed to never do it again.

His vow held him to Lily's pleads. His duty to their fallen family made Jason nod and speak in a low voice:

" What do you need?"

Her hand left the stirring rod and she trailed it along the wood of the table.

" Do you recall mum telling us about the Trojan War?"

" Yes."

There was suspicion laced into Jason's words and Lily swallowed as she fingered the wood of her wand.

" We're going to repeat history- there's only one man Voldemort fears and that's Dumbledore. I don't have his armor but we've got something the Greeks didn't have… Polyjuice Potion."

* * *

Dawn

At the beginning of the battle there were 103 wizards and witches fighting against the forces of Voldemort. During this one-hour cease-fire there were sixty left. Most were injured and there weren't enough healers to go around.

James felt awfully out of place. There were so many people sobbing and crying. Even Sirius, standing beside him, was wiping tears from his cheeks furiously.

" He died for me," Sirius managed to choke out. James felt so uncomfortable as he pressed a hand to Sirius's shoulder.

" Alphard was the only one who ever looked out for me."

James looked down to the corpse in front of them and swallowed. Alphard Black was the recluse of the Black clan. His appearance as Headmaster brought shock to most of society. And he changed Sirius.

" You were in the Order," James said softly. He didn't need to question it because from the moment they descended onto the battlefield, Sirius's eyes burned with a knowledge he'd never had. They'd seen the underdog's side of the war.

" He recruited me months ago," Sirius admitted. James's fists tightened and he wondered if this was it meant to grow up. All of them had their secrets- even he had secrets. For a moment, James desperately longed to be a child and tell his brothers everything. He wanted the Marauders more than anything, perhaps even Lily.

" Voldemort's coming."

Sirius's lips fell open and James took a ragged breath as he glanced around the hall. He hated crying, especially the desolate feeling of watching others cry, knowing that there was nothing he could do.

" There's nothing to fear in his name Padfoot- he's going to kill me and even if by some miracle he doesn't and we win then I'll be convicted and sent straight to the Dementors. I've done too much wrong for this final act to right it."

" Don't say that," Sirius protested. " We've survived this far, we'll make it till dawn."

Lily had said similar words. But the difference was that Sirius's words held the hardness of an anchor tying James to them and Lily's, well Lily's seemed like a prayer to a divine spirit.

She was desperate to keep their barely held together story stitched. James's jaw clenched and he wanted nothing more than to take Lily in his arms and tell her how sorry he was. He was sorry because he knew what he had to do.

Ever since James had heard the voice of Voldemort in his head, the sole location his old master could be in came to his mind. And maybe Voldemort would accept his life and let the people willing to fight go free.

If James were dead then maybe Lily wouldn't go down with the ship that was the Order of the Phoenix. If he died tonight then Voldemort would be satisfied enough and go straight to the Ministry.

He knew for months this was coming. Ever since he displayed growing power, Voldemort became more and more reclusive. Simply, James's power was starting to rival his own.

Only one of them could live and James knew there was no way he'd be able to take Voldemort down. But maybe he didn't need to. In order to save Lily and Sirius and Remus and even Jason all he had to do was face death with open arms.

James wasn't afraid of death or even the consequences of what he'd done in this lifetime. He was scared of leaving Lily alone. Hidden behind the forced smiles and displays of nonchalance in Lily's eyes were demons that she couldn't face on her own. And James could help her- he had to, that's what he thought before seeing the carnage of this battle.

But maybe Lily could be strong without him. And that thought propelled him to say his next words.

" Padfoot who's got the cloak?"

Sirius frowned in concentration and looked around the hall. His frown tightened and he raised a brow in confusion.

" Moony have you got it?"

Remus turned over to them with a frown similar to the one Sirius was wearing.

" No I thought Prongs had it."

" Jason must have it," Sirius concluded. James nodded and looked around the hall to ask Jason for the cloak only to see that he was missing. As was a familiar head of a fiery red hair.

" Mr. Potter," a voice declared, interrupting his thoughts. Professor McGonagall was walking towards him with an exhausted but determined expression.

" Several of the aurors and Order members present are injured and need to be transported to Mungos," she explained. " It's urgent but I don't want to risk going to the borders of the grounds. Jones' group said there's death eaters around the perimeter of our borders."

" Trapping us in," James finished with a scowl. His mind was diverted from its original task as he mulled this over. " Aren't the fireplaces in the professors' rooms and Headmaster's able to floo?"

Professor McGonagall nodded and sighed with relief.

" Thank you James. I've been too caught up trying to convince the aurors to leave to think of that."

" Are you okay?"

Professor McGonagall looked surprised at first and James wondered if anyone had yet to ask her that question. He'd seen Bishop Shacklebolt's cooling corpse and the Order seemed to turn to the stern Professor McGonagall for guidance.

" I'm fine Mr. Potter," she answered. Her lips left their pursed state to twitch slightly.

" You've certainly changed this year."

James waved his hand in dismal and allowed a tired smile to grace his features.

" Nonsense Minnie… I'll be up to no good once this matter is settled," he declared. The lie slipped out of James's mouth easily, perhaps too easily. Maybe it was addicting, and he couldn't blame Lily for becoming addicted to keeping the truth from harming people. But he could blame her for breaking his trust.

He was supposed to be different. James was supposed to be the one person that got under her barriers and walls, not another pawn to her endless games. Not another insect trapped in the web of lies she'd created.

James followed Professor McGonagall to where the injured were and saw Caradoc Dearborn, his third cousin, clutching his bloodied arm.

" I can stay," he protested. James frowned as he helped him up and out of the Great Hall.

" Merlin Doc you're going to lose that arm if you don't get to Mungos right now," he answered. Caradoc grumbled as James pulled him along to the Headmaster's Office. He could see other members of the Order helping the injured to the various fireplaces that were still linked to the floo network.

" We were doubting you," Caradoc admitted. " After all you denied being associating with either sides of the war for two years!"

James bit his tongue, refusing to answer Caradoc. The truth would have to stay buried, at least for the sake of his friends.

" But then Sirius Black joined us and we knew that where one Marauder went, the rest would follow," Caradoc explained. His grin didn't do much to hide the dust and dirt staining his face. James shot him an uneasy smile as they reached the two Griffin statues outside the Headmaster's office.

" Sugar Quill."

Alphard Black had kept with Professor Dumbledore's tradition of candy themed passwords. James led Caradoc in and frowned when he felt something shove into him. But there was nothing there.

" I can still use my wand hand," Caradoc protested, getting James's attention once more. He didn't even see the two sets of legs that weren't covered by the invisibility cloak walk by.

" Don't be stupid Doc," James answered, pulling his cousin along. " You're going to Mungos and that's final."

After sending Caradoc to St. Mungos, James waited for the green flames in the fireplace to die down. He glanced around the Headmaster's office and recalled, with a certain amount of nostalgic fondness, the many times he sat in the seat across from the desk of Professor Dumbledore.

" Albus and I had a bet going," a voice declared. James whirled around and saw the Sorting Hat sitting on a shelf below the many portraits of previous Headmasters. Its lips were curled up into a sly smile.

" Looks like he won."

Even without eyes, James could feel the hat judging him. It was the hat's sole purpose really. But James always thought that was limited to the initial sorting. He never thought that perhaps the hat would judge him and his classmates for their entire stay at Hogwarts, until now.

" What was it?"

Wanting to prolong the inevitable trip back to the hall, James leaned against Dumbledore's desk. He ignored the stacks of papers signed with Sirius's uncle's name and faced the hat.

James recalled his own sorting in this moment. The memory was a worn affair of the hat's silent deliberation. It refused to tell him what made him close to a hat stand and that haunted James for a good deal of his first and second year. Maybe he was meant to be in another house, but for some reason the hat supposed he'd do best in Slytherin.

" Pick me up boy," it ordered. " And I'll tell you my story."

Ignoring the urge to roll his eyes at the hat's request, James stood straight and walked to the shelf. He reached up and stood on the tips of his toes, grabbing the hat's dusty edge and pulling it down from the shelf.

" It's awfully dusty up there- most of the portraits don't seem to mind," the hat explained. " Dust me off boy."

James supposed that a conversation with a senile hat was more favorable than facing the dead and living in the Great Hall. So he reached for a handkerchief on the desk and patted it against the hat's rim.

" You Potters are all the same," the hat explained. " Destined for greatness."

James's hand paused at the hat's rim and he looked down to it with a frown.

" I'm destined to go down in history as a horrible person."

" Greatness is different from person to person. For your dad, it means taking the blame of an entire society's generation. He'll be known as a death eater for all of history but you… Well your greatness has yet to come."

James laughed bitterly and wiped a cobweb from the top of the hat.

" I'm walking straight to death in a few minutes," he answered. " And I'm not scared of dying."

" No you're afraid of something worse than dying- but I can assure you that you will not fade into history James Potter. The second I was placed on your head six years ago I knew that you'd strive for greatness- to become a legend. It explains all the mischief and the tales of pranking that I've heard. You long to live up to what your family has left of standards."

" Stop," James hissed. " You don't get to judge me."

" But it's my job," the hat drawled, it's lips curling up into a smirk. " Can I tell you a secret Mr. Potter? I make mistakes all the time. Perhaps every sorting I've ever made is a mistake. But somehow those I sort find themselves trying to prove something to the house they're in. They want to fit in- you wanted to fit in. But you're not meant to fit in."

James's hand stopped and he looked away from the hat feeling utterly disheartened.

" You sorted me incorrectly?"

" And I had to fight every urge telling me otherwise," the hat said solemnly. " But if you'd been placed into the proper house than you wouldn't be the man before me. No, you'd probably die in a flame of glory instead of living humbly and dying humbly."

" How is dying for being a traitor humble?" James demanded. He could feel heat flooding to his cheeks at the hat's statement and ran a hand through his hair, ignoring the fact that there was dust coating his fingers.

" You're not going to die today James," the hat mused. " I suppose you'll live for a long time a humble life. Because a true Gryffindor knows that modesty and humility are the bravest faces to wear."

The hat said it and the world stopped.

The voice in the back of his head that told James to take all the daunting steps he'd taken in this life wasn't a foreign presence- it was his destiny. All the pieces seemed to click in that moment.

Maybe the reason he fell in love with Lily was that she embodied a Gryffindor. Lily was the perfect mix of humility and courage that being a Gryffindor demanded. A true Gryffindor knew that being brave wasn't about being fearless and dauntless, bravery meant doing the impossible with an air of modesty so it seemed entirely possible to those who weren't brave.

" You're lying," James accused with a shaking voice. " I'm a perfect Slytherin."

The hat's smile stretched at this statement.

" You come off as a perfect Slytherin because it's all a suit of armor you've worn for years. In honest truth the perfect Slytherins are the ones marked as outsiders in your house like Remus Lupin. Ambitious and Cunning- he's the supposed perfect Slytherin. There are others that embody certain criteria Salazar had in mind but not the full suit. You're not one of them and you're certainly not Remus Lupin. You've been lying to yourself for a very long time."

" I'm not a liar," James hissed.

" You're the worst kind of liar- the kind that lies to himself over and over again," the hat answered. Its smile fell into a pursed state and a sigh escaped its lips. " Don't believe me if you want but do one thing Mr. Potter. Reach into me."

James stared at the hat in puzzlement but it settled its mouth and appeared as a normal regular hat once again. He turned the hat over wondering why it had such a peculiar request.

James slid his hand inside of the hat but before he could pull his empty fist out, the door to the Headmaster's Office burst open. Sirius burst inside with red cheeks, clutching one of their mirrors in his hand.

" Dumbledore's dead and Voldemort's got Lily!" he exclaimed.

James shot up and pulled his hand from the hat, dropping it to the ground. Sirius's eyes widened and a curse escaped his mouth as he looked down at James's hand.

" What is it?"

James looked down to his left hand and froze at the sight of what was in his fist.

" Holy Merlin," Sirius breathed. James didn't speak as he stared at the long sword extending from his grip. He didn't recognize the blade but from the ruby hilt and the gold gleam surrounding it, he knew who owned this sword.

" I think you mean Godric," James corrected, looking up to Sirius with a determined expression. Voldemort had Lily. But James had the sword of Godric Gryffindor in one hand and his wand in the other.

" I'm going to kill him," James hissed. " I'm going to kill Voldemort."

They descended down the stairs and ran through the castle like soldiers. There was a deafening silence that seemed to wash over the walls of Hogwarts. The Portraits were empty and not a single ghost made an appearance.

" Prongs you need to stop," Sirius exclaimed. But James pushed forward, his grip on the sword only growing.

" He's going to kill you if you go into this duel so angry!"

James whirled around right before they reached the floor of the Entrance Hall. His eyes flashed and he could feel anger and fury rippling off him. Dumbledore couldn't beat Voldemort. There was no chance James could but he could do the impossible.

The hat was right; Gryffindors did the impossible and make it possible for others. And this was his destiny- he was going to do the impossible. He couldn't kill Voldemort but James could save the world.

" I'm not going to die Padfoot, I'm going to end this once and for all," James answered in a low voice before walking forward. He reached the Entrance Hall and could see the remaining uninjured Order members standing around the castle. Across from them stood Voldemort and an army that stretched out over the bridge leading to the castle.

His red eyes landed on James's and a smile stretched over his snake-like features.

" I was beginning to think you'd run."

Those words echoed across the Courtyard and James fought the urge to cringe at the invading presence prodding at the barriers of his mind. He narrowed his eyes and stepped forward.

In front of Voldemort was a corpse. Albus Dumbledore's startling blue eyes were empty and as James got closer to the front of the Order he could see the death eaters surrounding Voldemort.

Greyback had Lily against his chest and she was in hysterics. Although she wasn't crying, Lily was thrashing against his grip and sobbing. There wasn't a tear on her face but wails like no other broke from her mouth. James could see Greyback's clawed hand at her throat and a horrified expression settled on her face.

" I'm no coward."

Voldemort's eyes fell to the sword James gripped and his smile faltered.

" And how did you stumble upon that?"

A smile slipped onto James's face as he looked down at the sword and met Voldemort's gaze. Once upon a time, he tried to do everything to please his master and become the best dueler the Wizarding World had seen. Now, James knew there were more important things.

Behind him, members of the Order sobbed at the sight of Dumbledore's corpse. James looked down to it and trailed his eyes over the body. Albus Dumbledore was the best wizard in the world.

His eyes paused at Dumbledore's open hand and surprise flickered in James's eyes as he studied Dumbledore's left hand.

" I killed him and now I'm going to destroy anyone who stands in my way. James… What happened during the past week was a misunderstanding, it's not too late for you to take your place at my side," Voldemort drawled.

When James imagined this war ending, he never considered the possibility that he could die. And he didn't at this point. Because Voldemort didn't kill Dumbledore and a sorrow like no other was forming in James's mind as he pushed and pushed it away.

Dumbledore didn't have a golden star birthmark and Lily certainly wouldn't be on the verge of hysteria for Albus Dumbledore. She'd informed James of Dumbledore's take on the war with a disappointed and angered expression. He let her down and Lily wouldn't sob for a man who made her see the truth about heroes.

James blinked hard as he looked up from the body.

" I was raised to be the perfect soldier it was my destiny," James started, facing Voldemort. Standing before him was a man that killed one of his closest friends, a brother he never got to have peace with.

" But I'm choosing my own destiny today and I choose the Order. I choose the muggles and a world without a tyrant. I choose Gryffindor."

Voldemort's eyes narrowed at James's statement and Lily's sobs seemed to fade as Voldemort drew his wand.

" So this is where it ends then, I suppose Jason is the stronger of you two."

James's jaw clenched and he blinked again.

" He is, he was strong enough to do what I wasn't," James whispered. He dropped the sword of Gryffindor knowing that he didn't need the blade's glory to do what was needed.

" And what was that?"

" Face you and die humbly."

Voldemort's eyes widened and James looked down to the body of Albus Dumbledore one last time. Only this time it was changing and Lily's hysteria made sense.

" It can't be," Voldemort said. Everything clicked as Dumbledore's body shot up and his beard faded. His skin turned to a golden hue, with pale undertones and his open dead blue eyes turned to gold ones.

" Jason," Lily sobbed. She'd been sobbing his name over and over again and James had been the only one to listen to it.

" You killed him and ended our war for us," James explained. " You made this so much more easy because now Jason and I aren't divided- we're united."

The Order was silent and so were the death eaters as James raised his wand. Voldemort finally looked up and James sought his eyes, hoping that there was any trace of humanity left in his old master. There wasn't a single flicker of guilt, of regret in his red eyes, only a rage like no other.

" We'll duel then," James said in a low voice.

" If I win then your death eaters will turn themselves in and you'll be at the mercy of the Ministry," James explained.

" And if I win?"

James looked down and his grip tightened on his wand as he looked at the reflecting sword at his feet.

" Then the world's yours, the people here will pledge themselves to you and you won't have to worry about losing any clean blood."

A cruel smile spread out on Voldemort's features and it felt so horribly cold for June. Behind him, the Order's voices sounded in protest and James turned to them with a silencing stare.

In his eyes the Order and aurors could see the truth. No one present could stand to Voldemort. The Gastors had fallen in his path to tyranny and he'd truly kill every single one of them if they stood in his path.

They knew this was the only way they could win. The Order was outnumbered and weak. Voldemort would win but there was a miracle, a miracle that could possibly happen. All James needed was a miracle.

" The rules James?"

" No rules and no seconds," James answered, this battle would die with him one way or another, and he was set on not letting Sirius go near it.

" No I must insist on seconds," Voldemort answered. " For your sake of course."

Before James could protest, a voice spoke.

" I will be Mr. Potter's second, I owe this much to England."

The voice played in the air like an old reed. And James along with every person in this Courtyard knew whom it belonged to.

Albus Dumbledore had arrived and from the sheer anger in his eyes, James knew that this battle was going to end with Voldemort's death, either from his hand or Dumbledore's.

He met those startling blue eyes and a storm churned in James's gut. The path to greatness was one that he must walk alone. But Dumbledore would be waiting and watching.

A fellow hero was there to offer support.

" Finally decided to show up," Voldemort commented. His eyes narrowed and he looked back to the death eaters. " Ah Mr. McKinnon, I do suppose it's time we put you to some use, I do recall you mentioning leading the dueling club."

James kept his expression blank as Adam McKinnon walked through the crowd of death eaters to be Voldemort's cruel choice of a second. His lightning blue eyes told the truth- this wasn't what he wanted.

" Are you ready to die James?"

Voldemort's question didn't need to be repeated for James to know his answer. He was ready to die for his sins. He was willing to die but he couldn't. Standing between him and the man who ruined his life was the dead body of his brother. He owed this to Jason; he owed it to Jason to finish this once and for all.

" I am, I've made my peace," James answered. " The true question is; are you?"

Voldemort narrowed his eyes in distaste.

"First the unbreakable vow."

James grinned; Voldemort had averted his question.

" Of course, there's too many snakes in that army of yours to slip away," James answered with a sickly sweet grin. Voldemort narrowed his eyes and jutted his head to Adam.

" Get over here," he hissed. Voldemort's right hand came around James's as they knelt and Adam placed his wand's tip over their hands.

" Do you James Charlus Potter vow those in your little army will surrender to me and vow their allegiance if I win this duel?"

James swallowed.

" I do."

A burst of fire shot from Adam's wand and James wondered what would upheld the vow if he were to die. If anyone in the Order tried to fight, then perhaps they'd die too. He hoped to Merlin Sirius wouldn't do anything stupid.

" Do you Tom Marvolo Riddle," James enunciated, ignoring the angered expression on Voldemort's face, " vow that if I win this duel your army will surrender to the Ministry and face whatever consequences comes of their actions in this war?"

A slick smile, similar to a snake's, came over Voldemort's face as he faced James.

" I do."

Another bolt of fire slipped from Adam's wand, finishing the vow. James let go of Voldemort's grip and rose from the ash-covered round.

" We'll duel," Voldemort declared.

James nodded and looked one last time to Lily. There was faith in her eyes, faith like no other. But there was also a mess of broken pieces that she'd never be able to put back together- only James could do that.

And his love for a girl who fit perfectly in his arms and in his soul gave James the courage to turn and take five steps back before bowing. Voldemort copied his motions.

James didn't pray because he knew in his heart that this duel began a long time before he'd raised his wand. Maybe it began the day he killed for the first time. Or maybe it began when he was first introduced to a tall intimidating man known as Tom Riddle. However it began, it was time for this duel- this battle and war- to end.

When James rose, his wand was out before his mind could send it.

" Avada Kedevra," he shouted. A nonverbal killing curse flew from Voldemort's wand but James's halted it.

Simply, Voldemort had more practice, but James was done shoving his emotions away. He channeled all the anger and hate of Jason's too young death into this spell. He channeled the rage he felt when he saw Lily's scarred skin and the old scars staining Sirius's perfect back. James channeled the completely and utter feeling of helplessness he felt from his parents' deaths and the Gastors' deaths into this curse.

The light of their neon green curses destroyed the shadows surrounding the Courtyard. James could see the black beasts that haunted his dreams leap off of every figure in the area, even Voldemort's.  
His spell faltered back and James sucked in a breath of air, straining his magic. Voldemort wore a victorious leer as he stepped forward. His face screamed madness- the insanity of power that lurked behind his shadow was now clear for the world to see.

" You're too weak- he was strong and you're weak," Voldemort hissed. James's spell faltered at the declaration and Voldemort smirked.

" You were never going to win your war with Jason- I used you to incentivize him. Competition always brought out the worst in him and that's what I needed. But you, well James you were nothing more than a pawn and now you're no longer useful!"

Voldemort was close enough for James to see the fire in his red eyes- the same fire that used to coarse in Lily's eyes. He was mad- beyond insane and there was no stopping him.

James broke eye contact with him to meet Lily's gaze. In her eyes wasn't desperation, in Lily's eyes was faith, the kind of faith that gave James courage to do what he was terrified of doing for months.

He let go.

And emotions stormed into his mind. Winds shook everything he'd built and everything he knew as he saw Lily's memories and the power she once held. The power she gave up in fear of turning into a monster like Voldemort- the type of person Jason might have become if he didn't have people like Emmeline Vance or Lily or the Marauders in his life.

That was their curse and James could see it was his to. The power he'd been terrified of since doing magic for the first time. He was scared of turning into someone like Voldemort but James wasn't anymore.

He had something Voldemort would never have- love. And in Lily's eyes he could see that she loved him enough to trust him. And Lily's trust was somehow even more rare than his.

She trusted him enough to let him see the memories of a past locked away, one she wanted to let go of. Lily trusted him to never leave her mind again. James knew that once he let go there was no turning back- he'd never be able to push his way out of Lily's mind again.

And he didn't want to. The compulsion charms offered a type of closeness he'd never imagined existing, it was as though they were one and the same now.

For the first time in his life, James believed in soul mates, because there was truly no other reason Lily's mind could fit so perfectly into his.

And with the knowledge that he didn't need to fear the magic that he was born to wield, James turned to Voldemort.

His body was crouched to the ground and there was only a thin line between his spell and Voldemort's. The man he once worshipped, stood over him with a victorious hand tightened around the hilt of the sword of Godric Gryffindor, because to kill the man that killed his brother, James needed a certain amount of bravery.

" You thought Jason was exactly like you but he wasn't- people loved him and he loved the world like no one else. Jason knew love- in fact I think he was love. And if Jason was love then you're hate and that bullshit about there being a thin line between love and hate was true, but in the end love wins. The war was never between me and Jason- it was between you and him."

Voldemort's eyes widened as James brought the sword up in a clean arch. Blood fell onto James's face and Voldemort stumbled back, clutching his upper arm; blood spurted from the limb. Sitting on the ground in front of James was the pale contorted form of Tom Riddle's already blackening hand. In it sat a wand that James reached for and snapped.

Something in the air changed and James dropped the bloodied sword to the ground as he faced Tom Riddle.

" I'll ask you again," he repeated. " Are you ready to die?"

A bloodied smile came to Voldemort's face as he looked up at James.

"You've certainly impressed me James, but I'm not ready to die, nor will I ever be," Voldemort answered.

Before James could bring a spell out, Voldemort brought his cloak out over his figure and turned into a black swarm of shadows. The darkened cloud rose into the sky and barreled out over them.

But no one paid attention to the cloud that was Voldemort, for the sun was rising bringing James the dawn Lily so desperately craved hours ago. Perhaps, they realized that a man who ran from death was nothing to fear.

Silence filled the Courtyard and a feeling settled over them. The war was over and the choices that people made would finally bring them the burden they deserved. The feeling swept away as death eaters cried out, apparently trapped to where they stood, as aurors came forward, ready to arrest them.

A commotion broke out as Order members cried out in triumph and Voldemort's forces in despair. But James didn't care. His ears pricked and he looked down. James's mind blanked as he met Lily's gaze. There were stars, James swore, there were stars sitting in Lily's eyes.

Lily, free from Greyback's grip, sprinted forward into James's arms. She dug her arms around his neck and buried her face into his blood-coated shirt.

" We're alive," she whispered, over and over again. " We're alive."

His arms came around her and James held Lily so tightly that he thought he'd never be able to let go.

" We're alive."

Lily's voice didn't stop and James's head spun as he looked up to the sky. He could feel Lily looking up too.

" It's the start of a new day," she whispered, finally breaking her chant. James looked down and remembered saying those words in what seemed like a lifetime ago.

This time they had an entirely different meaning. They lived to dawn- they lived to see a new world born. And as the sun's tender rays graced his face, James took a breath of air that smelled of freedom and goodness.

The peaceful moment, a moment so peaceful that James could hear the crickets from the Forbidden Forest, was broken as a scream of anguish broke out. He looked down to the ground, only a few feet from him, to see Emmeline Vance clutching Jason's dead body in her arms.

" He's dead," she sobbed. Her fingers were knotted into his hand and Emmeline's ice eyes opened. For the first time in James's life he could see the ice around Emmeline Vance melt away, leaving nothing but a broken woman in front of him.

Lily was silent in his grip and James felt her weight give in. He caught her and could see a wound on her side and her skin paling.

" I killed him James," Lily whispered. James clutched her side, his eyes flying from Jason's body to Lily's bleeding one.

" No you didn't."

But as memories leaked into James's, mind, he could see that Lily had killed Jason. A feeling filled him to the core- an alien one. One of hate and disgust… Was this how Lily felt when she looked at him? After all he had killed Galen and Cassius.

" I've got her," Sirius said, pulling Lily into his arms. His grey eyes held unshed tears and he looked back to where Jason's corpse sat. James followed his gaze to see Marlene sobbing beside Emmeline.

" She really did love him," James acknowledged.

" Go to him," Sirius advised. He held Lily carefully in his grip and jutted his head back at the castle. " I'll take Red to Pomfrey."

James's legs wobbled and he looked back at the Order. Remus was sprinting to them and the Order was still celebrating.

A feeling of complete hate filled James whole. It pummeled from his heart into his veins. He hated them. He hated them for crying from joy while tears of grief leaked from his eyes. He hated them for kissing each other as he pressed a soft kiss to Lily's forehead and turned to do what was right- to do what he needed to do.

James walked forward and fell to his knees before Jason's dead body. The man who'd ridden a dragon alongside Emmeline hours before was pulling her up from the ground and Fabian Prewitt lifted Marlene from Jason's side.

James looked at Jason's golden face and studied it for a mere moment. There was something off to it. Jason died too young to have wrinkles, yet there were a few coming in around his eyes and mouth.

Laugh lines, James realized. His friend had laughed and smiled so much that his face bore every single grin he'd ever had. And perhaps that was the greatest gift anyone could have.

James could see it in Lily's memories. He could see Jason, masked in the form of Albus Dumbledore, facing death with a smile. But not one of the glowing bright smiles that he forced on.

No for some reason in Lily's memory, she could see past the mask that everybody else couldn't see past. James supposed it was love- for surely there was nothing stronger. A green light was coming towards Jason and his wand sat on the ground in splinters.

His face was turned up, away from death, to the sky and James found it so fitting. The boy who wanted nothing more than to get lost in the stars, died looking them dead in the eye. He died telling fate to go screw itself.

From Lily's memory, James could see a smile, a crooked grin with unset dimples and eyes a tad too wide with impossibly small wrinkles at their corners, situated on Jason's face as he looked down and the killing curse struck him in the chest.

Jason Gastor died smiling. And he didn't smile for society or for anyone. He died smiling a grin James had only seen in a few private moments. Jason died true to himself, with a hell of a smile.

Reaching forward, James's hand shook as he brought it over Jason's eyelids. He looked up waiting until the stars faded and the sun had risen. He gave Jason the view of a new world, one he'd never get to live in.

" Thank you."

The words whispered like the wind around James's ears and he didn't worry for a second that he'd hallucinated it. He'd given Jason a view of the world he had to die for.

Jason Gastor died for this sunrise- this new world filled with hope. James pulled the body into his arms and stood slowly but surely. He turned from the Aurors and Order members that were stunning death eaters and other members of Voldemort's forces and faced Hogwarts.

It looked like hell but James supposed he did too. Stepping past the remains of Voldemort's arm and wand, James looked to where the sword of Godric Gryffindor sat. It was gone and a sad smile fell over his face.

Blood pooled around the place it sat once as he walked past it into the Entrance Hall, carrying the dead body of a boy who was finally at home.

There was an unsettling feeling in his gut and James knew exactly what it was as he walked forward. Sunlight brushed against his skin, reminding James that he made it to dawn.

He had let go. He let go of more than fighting the compulsion charms. James let go of his childhood and now had to face a foreign world- adulthood.

But James Potter walked forward. After all he had done the impossible.

James Potter had grown up.

* * *

**As I revealed in the previous chapter, what comes next will be released in a new story called the Sun Also Rises. All that's left for Confingo is the epilogue. **

**Some notes on this chapter:**

**1\. I never expected Jason to become such a prominent character, but in the end he was the hero of the First Wizarding War. **

**2\. The themes of names, shields, and houses were wrapped up in this chapter. **

**3\. We get to see hints of a Lily and Sirius friendship I plan on working severely on in upcoming chapters. **

**4\. Marlene, Sirius, and Jason's love triangles is an allusion to the love triangle from _Gone With the Wind_, one of my all time favorites. In the next story and parts, there were be hints to where Marlene and Sirius go.**

**5\. Jason is a symbol reflecting on Lily and James's death in the canon series. His death was mostly ignored as the war was over. **

**6\. James symbolizes Harry- a hero for someone's else's actions who'll have to grow into his title. **

**7\. I might have cried a little while writing Emmeline and Jason's scene.**

**8\. Lily and James still have quite a bit of a way to go. I tried foreshadowing what will happen to them in this chapter and the previous. **

**9\. Not all of Voldemort's forces were present for the final battle- but most where.**

**10\. With Jason's death, the Gastor family symbolizes the fall of the southern aristocracy after the American Civil War as most of their sons died in battle. **

**Stay tuned for the epilogue and upcoming story! **

**R&amp;R**

**\- Rin **


	33. With Jason

_**Epilogue: With Jason**_

* * *

There used to be a girl who liked to dance.

She liked music and flying and being free.

But there comes a time when a girl must become a woman, no matter how hard she fights it.

She still liked to be free, but she also liked the comfort of her prison.

She liked wind brushing her hair away yet she could not think of flying without bile rising in her throat.

She will always love music, but now music doesn't bring her hope- it only brings her the past.

And she'll dance not because she wants to but because without dancing... Well there wasn't a world without it.

There used to be a girl who ran from her destiny and reality.

Her name, the name she despised was Lily Gastor.

And she placed so many masks on her perfect face to conceal the truth.

But when this girl became a woman she learned the truth of adulthood.

You don't need to take what fate throw at you.

Sometimes you can choose your own destiny.

And right now Lily would settle to let fate guide her, but one day she would fight it again.

* * *

She didn't find comfort in dusk anymore. The sun was setting over the forest edge but the sun didn't make her heart race like it use to. Lily could make out bright pink stain on the horizon and puffy clouds. In late June, it was warm enough that she left her jacket inside.

The soft blue dress she wore fell down to her shoes. Three weeks ago it would have covered all the scars staining her body. But the Healers in St. Mungos had thought themselves quite saintly for removing the scars on Lily's arms, legs, and even collarbones.

Her index finger found the hollow between the two bones on her chest and Lily shut her eyes at the birthmark that had been restored when her scars were removed. She'd take the scars over this birthmark any day.

Even the large bite mark on her arm was gone. The blackened veins remained, as the Healers found it quite close to impossible to removing them. All that was left of her five-month quest were a few black veins.

But Lily understood the purpose of this act of kindness. They wanted her to forget. The world kept spinning but her mind was trapped. Lily was trapped.

She could hear voices from inside of James's cottage in Godric's Hallow. Lily had found refuge in this house with its warm walls and family-furnished décor. James had said that it was gift from his dad to his mother in the early years of their marriage. He also said that his parents hardly used it, yet Lily could only wonder why they had preferred the large foreboding Potter Manor to this home.

After the forces of Voldemort had burned so many pureblood estates, including the Gastor and Potter ones, Lily found herself in need of a place to stay. Everything she owned, under the terms of their betrothal, had been locked into her bank account, including the hefty inheritance Jason had left.

But Lily couldn't touch it. She couldn't touch the money or any of the assets in her vault, at least not until she and James were wed. Dorian Belby, the trustee in charge of Jason's will, had been vowed into secrecy about their betrothal. As James had said, society could only take so much.

And even though there was recent news of a bill being presented in the Wizengamot regarding the expulsion of pureblood betrothals, Lily knew that she'd never be able to live in a world where she couldn't feel James's soul. Sometimes she thought it was the only thing holding her above water.

The revealing of Lily as the missing Gastor child seemed to push what remained of the pureblood society to its limit, even if there wasn't a lot of it. Most had doubted it, calling her a fraud for an entire week. But Pericles had woken from his coma and with a blood sample test and a statement that she was indeed a Gastor, the world's doubts had been silenced.

Lily's heart tightened at the thought of Pericles. He'd woken for a week and shown signs of improving only to fall back into his coma. According to his will, Mungos would have to let him die in a matter of days from now. Selena was devastated.

The Potter Cottage offered refuge from the hordes of media that sought Lily. But she was in no state to face reporters or take interviews, although James was.

After a week of grieving, he'd picked himself up and gone into the Ministry practically everyday. Lily had seen the prophet. Somehow, he'd been made into the Wizarding World's hero; the boy who defeated Voldemort. And the Gastors, well they were the scapegoat of this entire affair.

As more and more testimonies came in from death eaters, sentenced to death or Azkaban, it was released to the public that their golden family was actually a part of Voldemort's inner circle. James's involvement had remained a top secret with the aid of confundus charms and obliviation charms similar to the ones used to keep Lily's true heritage a secret.

She wondered if the hatred in her stomach was normal. After spending three weeks with the supposed hero of the Wizarding World, all Lily wanted to do was get away.

The torches lit in the afternoon were still up with soft green flames. Lily knew they were Sirius's work, having spent a decent amount of time with Sirius over the past three weeks.

Honestly, he was her savior in some ways. With his father and uncles and in-laws being convicted and Sirius's involvement with the Order revealed, his mother had disowned him and burned his name from the family tapestry. Sirius had gotten kick out of his home.

Although, his great uncle Alphard left most of his estate to Sirius, and a small portion to Andromeda Tonks who was healing and getting back to work (according to Frank and Alice), Sirius spent most of his time at Potter Cottage. He recently bought an apartment in London, but Lily pressured him into staying longer.

Lily turned to face the window showing the living room of James's cottage. In the wake of devastation and a loss that none of them could bare, a wedding had to be planned. The furniture had been cleared away and Emmeline and Beckett were dancing for the first time as man and wife.

Emmeline's silver dress fell elegantly to the ground and there was a tranquil expression on her face as Beckett whispered something in her ear. Lily knew that she'd be okay. They would all be okay, just like James had said. But none of them were ready for the sun to rise once again.

Lily could see the small group of their closest friends gathered in the living room. Gideon, with bags under his eyes from starting healer training, was dancing with Beckett's mother while Fabian, having come straight from practice with Puddlemere, was drinking with Frank, who looked heavily worn from auror training.

As Dumbledore had cancelled final exams and sent the remaining students at the school home, there were no final exams. Marlene revealed to Lily that Alice had been relying on the exams to get into the Auror Program. But after weeks of moping, it seemed that Alice found her calling with the Witch Watchers.

Her hair, cut shorter than ever in a sophisticated pixie do, was glowing in the light of the candles around the room. Alice was dancing with Beckett's father, Newt Scamander, avoiding his feet as they swayed side to side.

Sitting beside Marlene on the couch that was pushed back into the wall, was Michael. He was leaving the next day for France. Lily had already said goodbye to her friend and wished him luck with his son and warned him of Beauxbatons' partying-mentality. After Jason's death, she could hardly even look at Michael. He seemed to have lost just as much as she had.

Marlene had dyed her hair and Lily watched as her beautiful friend twirled a long platinum blonde lock around her finger as she laughed at a joke one of Beckett's friends told her. Her eyes darted over to Sirius's figure every few seconds, giving Marlene away.

There was a bitter air surrounding Sirius and Marlene. After Bagnold's resignation, a man by the name of Cornelius Fudge had taken spot as Minister. It was him who took the position to propose banning betrothals. And at the rate things were going for the newly elected Wizengamot, the law was only weeks from being passed. Sirius had made it perfectly clear that he had no plan to keep his and Marlene's betrothal in a rather harsh interview with a reporter from the Daily Prophet.

Her eyes settled on the three men standing near a large bookshelf. They were brothers in every sense but blood and somehow Jason's death only brought the Marauders closer. Remus and Sirius were living in Potter Cottage with them. It seemed that James had taken in everyone without a home, Lily observed.

She remembered thinking that they were like kings the first time she'd seem them together. They still looked like kings. Only a king could have that kind of glow to his eyes or a smile like Remus's. But now they weren't kings living in an era of prosperity. No they were kings who would have to rebuild the world. Somehow that made them so much more.

Lily watched the scene for a few more minutes, with a satisfied look.

All of them had survived- they made it until dawn. But what came after dawn was an alien world. Lily didn't see it as she had holed herself away in the cottage, only leaving for funerals, her testimony and the reading of Jason's will. She'd walked down the street a few times with a purpose of visiting the graveyard but returned to the cottage within minutes, unable to complete her action.

The war was finally over and Hogwarts would reopen in September thanks to a hefty donation from several of the Wizarding World's richest families, including James's. Lily would go back to school and finish her education in peace.

_And then what?_

The question rang in her ears over and over again. She couldn't be an auror, not after Marcus had left with a short goodbye and a vow to write. Not after she attended Bishop's funeral. Not after the statements the aurors were making about her family. She couldn't be a healer after watching Pericles come back from the dead and then fall back into death's arms.

The only thing that seemed certain was James. And even then, Lily was terrified of what he was going to inevitably ask. He'd want her heart, all of it, and Lily didn't know if she could give it to him. Maybe when Jason died, he took a piece of it with him.

When people had died before, Lily pried the pieces of her heart they held from their dead grips. But she couldn't do that to Jason, not when she killed him. After all it had been her idea for him to take the Polyjuice Potion and pretend to be Dumbledore.

Flashes of the events from the Forbidden Forest came to Lily's head and she shook before sliding to the ground. The wet grass beneath her form, bowed under the material of Lily's dress as she moved so she was lying fully on top of it.

Time had flown by without her notice.

In the past three weeks, she'd assisted planning a funeral, a wedding, and acted as Emmeline's maid of honor mere hours ago. The world kept spinning…

But Lily was tied down to that day, maybe even the very moment when Jason had smiled and died. His eyes had connected with hers and Lily blinked back tears. She hadn't cried since that day- that cold Friday morning.

Her eyes screwed shut and Lily could hear crickets in the distance. Summer came and it was bringing something new and terrifying with it. Lily wasn't ready for the future and James wasn't ready either.

There was no word to describe what happened between them. He let go and now Lily was always aware of him. She was aware of how scared he was. She was aware that the world had made him a hero too young. And Lily was aware that deep down inside James knew this was his destiny.

While he spent his days at the Ministry and Lily spent hers trying to mourn, their nights were an entirely different affair. They'd curl up on his bed and speak in low voices about things that didn't matter. They'd talk and talk and talk until the moon was low in the sky and the sun was coming out. Eventually one of them would insist on sleeping but only for survival. By letting go, James had picked up Lily's affinity for nightmares.

Not even bolting awake by James's side brought Lily comfort from her nightly horrors. She'd refused to wake him but he always knew. Lily supposed it was the set of bags that seemed permanently etched under her eyes. Or maybe it was the way her eyes refused to light up.

Emmeline had the same problem. Lily didn't need to wonder why Emmeline had married Beckett. She needed someone who would make her strong and Beckett did that. But he'd never be Jason.

Her hands scrunched up around the grass and Lily could feel her heart ache. She'd read of people dying of heart break, perhaps that was happening to her...

The thing about Jason was that people were half in love with him from being around him.

He was like Manhattan- the city Connor would give everything for.

He was her Manhattan, James couldn't even compete with the love she felt for Jason.

A realization so horrible hit Lily and her eyes bolted open. The stars seemed so much brighter now. And the night sky was peaceful because the world would keep spinning on without Jason.

Somehow, Jason had managed to get her heart- the entire thing. And now he was dead and her heart was with him. James deserved it and Lily couldn't give it to him. Jason had her heart.

He stood by her in all her childish and stubborn ideas. He was always there; Jason had been her last wall. But when he died, that wall fell and James came in.

Lily hated him for this.

She hated him for keeping secrets.

She hated him for crying when Jason died; she hated him for being strong enough to pick himself up and walk again.

She hated him because the world loved him and the world thought that Jason was the villain of this story.

But mostly, Lily hated him for giving her his heart when she wasn't able to give him hers. It wasn't fear that he would break it. That's what Lily thought for long. She was able to give him her heart. Because giving James her heart meant prying it from Jason's dead grip. And Lily owed too much to her brother.

So Lily looked at the darkening sky and studied the sky. Nostalgia for the days when her mother brought her and Jason to a field near their house to stargaze came to Lily's mind.

She could see all them in the space between the stars. Her parents with the love story they made up. Her brothers, one by one, lining the horizon with their beautiful lives. Each of them had done Lily wrong, but they managed to right those wrongs. She could see the Auclairs and Benjy's free soul in the sky. She could see Charlus Potter and Dorea and Mary Gastor in the sky. Lily could see her beloved Kingsmills- she could imagine Galen's everlasting gaze like the sun and music that gave her so much joy. She could see Benjy Fenwick and Hestia and Bishop and even Judea Gladstone.

In the darkness, Lily could see that the people she loved found their solace. But she didn't need the darkness anymore. The darkness surrounding the stars were Jason's realms and hers was the house only a few feet to Lily's side.

Her people were alive and they were going to see the sun rise and rise again and again. They'd live to another day and they'd burn bright like stars. No! They would burn so bloody brightly that even the stars would be jealous.

Quietly, Lily rose. She rose from her past and the ashes of the Gastor family. Lily walked forward to the house she could call a home, the home filled with people she loved. She didn't stop to look up at the sky, no Lily simply walked forward ready to say goodbye to Emmeline, but unready for the words James needed. But the world would only keep spinning, giving her enough sunrises to figure things out.

So Lily opened the door and faced her tomorrow.

_The End_

* * *

**This is my first complete story and I feel as though a piece of my soul will always be in Confingo. I have so many people to thank: the two betas who I relied on constantly and gave me amazing advice and support, Emeraldie and Beth Malfoy, the reviewers who stood by Confingo even when it seemed like I wasn't coming back, everybody who took the time to favorite or follow my story, the people who messaged me with music to listen to and support, and lastly the readers. **

**Confingo usually gets about five hundred or six hundred views when a chapter is freshly released. And each view makes my heart ache, because I know that I've managed to enchant one more person. Even if Confingo had one reader, I'd still have finished it. But that one reader would have made all the difference. So thank you readers.**

**Even before the readers comes the characters. Although Lily is the narrator, for the most part of this story, it comes to my mind that Jason is the protagonist. He's my first original character that has broken my heart in so many ways. From writing his true smile, to Emmeline's realization about him, Jason Gastor will always be remembered. **

**Emmeline Vance turned out to be my secret weapon in Part Three. I had planned pretty early into Confingo to build on her, but I didn't imagine how much. She means the world to me simply because she's flawed. She's so flawed and she's young and she embodies the concerns of youth. She also embodies the truth of war and life- we don't always get the life we want. **

**James. He starts off as the kind of person I'd want to punch. Between his leers and smirks and arrogance, I couldn't imagine the size of a mountain he'd need to get over in order to grow. But in the end, James's journey is hardly over. Confingo ended with him reaching the top of the mountain. He still has to get to the other side...**

**And lastly, Lily. It's hard to describe Lily truly. I think she really is a quilt or a collage of all the characters and people that have ever inspired me, including the canon Lily Evans. I tried to give each of my characters a message. Whether it be Jason's theme on society or James's on redemption, there was always a lesson to learn from a character. And Lily's lesson is in love and will continue to be in love.  
**

**Lily taught me about every single type of love there is. Romance, Family and friendship. She taught me that love isn't easy and light- that sometimes love can be the hardest thing to do. Her journey, like James's is hardly over, which leads to my next point. **

**There will be two sequels to Confingo, entitled _On the Horizon and The Sun Also Rises._ I've already started work on the first, which will tell the story of the start of the Reconstruction of the Wizarding World during the summer before Lily and James's seventh year. The latter of the two will follow their seventh year.**

**I've started work on the first of the two, but both will take some time to get through as school has started. I hope all my readers will stick around to see what the future holds for Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, Marlene, and a few other characters that will be introduced in the next stories!**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


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